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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I started off keeping this my little secret. Then I opened up to friends for safety reasons. Then family members. Now it's widely accepted that I'm a dirty bitch and this is part of my life amongst lots of other parts. My husband accepted it better than I thought. It doesn't need to be a secret. People are much more accepting than we give them credit for. |
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"People are always nasty to people there jealous of "
Or suspicious of things they don't understand fully. Especially if it's seen to be secretive!
It's an education thing. Tell people about it, and make it less "strange". |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I live in small town and they carry on like they're holier than thou  "
This for us too, we aren't ashamed of what we do, but people can be nasty and we don't wish for our children or grandchildren to be mocked for what we do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't quite understand why we still keep this side of our lives a secrete.. why shouldn't we be proud that we're all swingers and loving life
"
Because our sex life is private, and not something we discuss with family or most friends. |
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I don't think it's quite as simple as being secretive, so much as being private. There's very few people, if any, in my real life that I'd want to discuss a vanilla sex life with (let alone a swinging/kinky sex life) and equally I have zero interest in theirs. I'm not ashamed of myself and would be perfectly prepared to defend my choices if called upon to do so but it's the youngest and oldest members of my family for example who I think would have difficulty understanding my point of view. My youngest child is too emotionally immature to understand this sort of thing just yet, so I'd hate it, and feel very worried, if a lack of 'secrecy' meant gossip reached their ears and they had to grow up too soon. At the opposite end of the scale my elderly mum almost certainly *would* judge because she's too set in her ways to understand I'm not being coerced or risking my health. Nothing would be achieved by me admitting to being a swinger so I really don't see the point in deliberately drawing attention to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think it's quite as simple as being secretive, so much as being private. There's very few people, if any, in my real life that I'd want to discuss a vanilla sex life with (let alone a swinging/kinky sex life) and equally I have zero interest in theirs. I'm not ashamed of myself and would be perfectly prepared to defend my choices if called upon to do so but it's the youngest and oldest members of my family for example who I think would have difficulty understanding my point of view. My youngest child is too emotionally immature to understand this sort of thing just yet, so I'd hate it, and feel very worried, if a lack of 'secrecy' meant gossip reached their ears and they had to grow up too soon. At the opposite end of the scale my elderly mum almost certainly *would* judge because she's too set in her ways to understand I'm not being coerced or risking my health. Nothing would be achieved by me admitting to being a swinger so I really don't see the point in deliberately drawing attention to it. "
All of that, and more. I tried to explore this with my SO, but was shut out some years ago with a similar lack of understanding or tolerance of my interests and openness about having fun. Sadly this means I arriveon here alone, making it even harder! Through here and other sites though I have met "virtually" some very supportive and fun people, and even the odd female who understands and likes what I like. Rare, and certainly rarer to meet and have fun with but at least this and other places like it allow me to relax a little!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think it's quite as simple as being secretive, so much as being private. There's very few people, if any, in my real life that I'd want to discuss a vanilla sex life with (let alone a swinging/kinky sex life) and equally I have zero interest in theirs. I'm not ashamed of myself and would be perfectly prepared to defend my choices if called upon to do so but it's the youngest and oldest members of my family for example who I think would have difficulty understanding my point of view. My youngest child is too emotionally immature to understand this sort of thing just yet, so I'd hate it, and feel very worried, if a lack of 'secrecy' meant gossip reached their ears and they had to grow up too soon. At the opposite end of the scale my elderly mum almost certainly *would* judge because she's too set in her ways to understand I'm not being coerced or risking my health. Nothing would be achieved by me admitting to being a swinger so I really don't see the point in deliberately drawing attention to it. "
That says it all  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I don't think it's quite as simple as being secretive, so much as being private. There's very few people, if any, in my real life that I'd want to discuss a vanilla sex life with (let alone a swinging/kinky sex life) and equally I have zero interest in theirs. I'm not ashamed of myself and would be perfectly prepared to defend my choices if called upon to do so but it's the youngest and oldest members of my family for example who I think would have difficulty understanding my point of view. My youngest child is too emotionally immature to understand this sort of thing just yet, so I'd hate it, and feel very worried, if a lack of 'secrecy' meant gossip reached their ears and they had to grow up too soon. At the opposite end of the scale my elderly mum almost certainly *would* judge because she's too set in her ways to understand I'm not being coerced or risking my health. Nothing would be achieved by me admitting to being a swinger so I really don't see the point in deliberately drawing attention to it. "
Absolutely this for us too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't quite understand why we still keep this side of our lives a secrete.. why shouldn't we be proud that we're all swingers and loving life
"
Fook me. People don't even say what they're upto in here with other swingers. Imagine if I spoke outside these walls?? |
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Because most people outside of it don't understand it and make incorrect assumptions.
Plus, we don't really want every man and his dog to know what we do in our sex life, we quite like having fab life and everyday life separate |
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Not a case of being secretive about meeting a few single men for sex and friendship, but not into advertising the matter either....doubt many really know what goes on behind anybodys four walls,but would not want to live in a goldfish bowl either knowing everybody knew my business. |
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"I don't quite understand why we still keep this side of our lives a secrete.. why shouldn't we be proud that we're all swingers and loving life
"
My swinging life is no secret
All my friends know about it
Others have hobbies like golf, mine just happens to be swinging  |
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