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Getting people to treat you right
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you let people know how you want to be treated? Do you tell them outright? Can you teach them via hints?
What do you do?  "
You've nicked this off another thread...haven't you...eh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people don't treat me right I don't have anything to do with them.
I've told a ranty boss before that ranting and shouting at other people might intimidate and motivate them but it really doesn't work on me.
He never shouted at me again and we got on just fine! |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"Do you let people know how you want to be treated? Do you tell them outright? Can you teach them via hints?
What do you do?
You've nicked this off another thread...haven't you...eh "
i think off a PM....
and no OP i cba to teach a person how to treat me. i like to either keep them in a state of confusion and leave them to blunder along for my amusement, or fuck them off altogether. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll admit I'm not very good at telling people how I want to be treated. I try the tactic of treating them how I'd like to be treated and hope they get the hint from that.
Does mean my good nature and trust gets abused, and then I get hurt.
I'm too soft I know but hardening up would change who I am and I'm often told not to change who I am x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you let people know how you want to be treated? Do you tell them outright? Can you teach them via hints?
What do you do?
You've nicked this off another thread...haven't you...eh
i think off a PM....
and no OP i cba to teach a person how to treat me. i like to either keep them in a state of confusion and leave them to blunder along for my amusement, or fuck them off altogether."
Yep, you inspired me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll admit I'm not very good at telling people how I want to be treated. I try the tactic of treating them how I'd like to be treated and hope they get the hint from that.
Does mean my good nature and trust gets abused, and then I get hurt.
I'm too soft I know but hardening up would change who I am and I'm often told not to change who I am x "
I'm the same. I'm trying to teach someone how I want to be treated but not sure if it's working. I don't think you have to be hard, it's possible to be nice and stand up for yourself.  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"Do you let people know how you want to be treated? Do you tell them outright? Can you teach them via hints?
What do you do?
You've nicked this off another thread...haven't you...eh
i think off a PM....
and no OP i cba to teach a person how to treat me. i like to either keep them in a state of confusion and leave them to blunder along for my amusement, or fuck them off altogether.
Yep, you inspired me. "
you just reminded me of something additional, coz of your other PM.
going on strike actually works better than trying to change someone, you got to force change in people who aren't receptive to that.
like my ex would do fuck all housework, i asked, nagged, tried the no sex until you do something (but tbh that was too hard coz we had great sex), but by not doing any housework, so he wasn't looked after, meant he had to do it. think it's why i fuck people off if they're not for me, it took him ages to get the hint but not doing anything works better than asking or hinting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you let people know how you want to be treated? Do you tell them outright? Can you teach them via hints?
What do you do?
You've nicked this off another thread...haven't you...eh
i think off a PM....
and no OP i cba to teach a person how to treat me. i like to either keep them in a state of confusion and leave them to blunder along for my amusement, or fuck them off altogether.
Yep, you inspired me.
you just reminded me of something additional, coz of your other PM.
going on strike actually works better than trying to change someone, you got to force change in people who aren't receptive to that.
like my ex would do fuck all housework, i asked, nagged, tried the no sex until you do something (but tbh that was too hard coz we had great sex), but by not doing any housework, so he wasn't looked after, meant he had to do it. think it's why i fuck people off if they're not for me, it took him ages to get the hint but not doing anything works better than asking or hinting."
No sex doesn't work, the men just come on here looking for a shag ... and still don't mow the lawn!! |
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I follow two approaches -
1. Telling them to stop, if they're behaving poorly.
2. Leading them into u different strategy - positive reinforcement too.
If someone refuses to budge then I will by removing their company |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"Do you let people know how you want to be treated? Do you tell them outright? Can you teach them via hints?
What do you do?
You've nicked this off another thread...haven't you...eh
i think off a PM....
and no OP i cba to teach a person how to treat me. i like to either keep them in a state of confusion and leave them to blunder along for my amusement, or fuck them off altogether.
Yep, you inspired me.
you just reminded me of something additional, coz of your other PM.
going on strike actually works better than trying to change someone, you got to force change in people who aren't receptive to that.
like my ex would do fuck all housework, i asked, nagged, tried the no sex until you do something (but tbh that was too hard coz we had great sex), but by not doing any housework, so he wasn't looked after, meant he had to do it. think it's why i fuck people off if they're not for me, it took him ages to get the hint but not doing anything works better than asking or hinting.
No sex doesn't work, the men just come on here looking for a shag ... and still don't mow the lawn!! "
aw, that's half true. 
it was punishing me as well so a stupid idea from the off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I follow two approaches -
1. Telling them to stop, if they're behaving poorly.
2. Leading them into u different strategy - positive reinforcement too.
If someone refuses to budge then I will by removing their company "
What would you use as positive reinforcement?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll admit I'm not very good at telling people how I want to be treated. I try the tactic of treating them how I'd like to be treated and hope they get the hint from that.
Does mean my good nature and trust gets abused, and then I get hurt.
I'm too soft I know but hardening up would change who I am and I'm often told not to change who I am x
I'm the same. I'm trying to teach someone how I want to be treated but not sure if it's working. I don't think you have to be hard, it's possible to be nice and stand up for yourself. "
Yes it is, I wouldn't now put up with being mistreated but I'm not good at saying that I'd prefer to be treated the way I'd like over the way they think I'd like. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you let people know how you want to be treated? Do you tell them outright? Can you teach them via hints?
What do you do? "
I don't do subtle... in all walks of life. I Say it how it is. Occasionally I may decide not saying something is better but if its about what i expect.. then im quite vocal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am very clear it what would end a relationship for me, from the start.
If they cross that line then i walk. They are responsible for their own behaviour, and i am responsible for how i respond.
I am too old, endured too much shit, and am too mentally exhausted to tolerate someone elses shitty behaviour in a relationship.
In my eyes, they either want me and therefore treat me right, or they can feck off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am very clear it what would end a relationship for me, from the start.
If they cross that line then i walk. They are responsible for their own behaviour, and i am responsible for how i respond.
I am too old, endured too much shit, and am too mentally exhausted to tolerate someone elses shitty behaviour in a relationship.
In my eyes, they either want me and therefore treat me right, or they can feck off."
That's a great point. Lay down your 'rules'/ expectations at the start so you both know where you stand. No time wasted if one decides to walk away.
I really like that, thanks. |
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"I'll admit I'm not very good at telling people how I want to be treated. I try the tactic of treating them how I'd like to be treated and hope they get the hint from that.
Does mean my good nature and trust gets abused, and then I get hurt.
I'm too soft I know but hardening up would change who I am and I'm often told not to change who I am x "
As well you shouldn't! If they don't get the hints from how you are. Jog them on and find someone who'll treat you right! X
AJ  |
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"I follow two approaches -
1. Telling them to stop, if they're behaving poorly.
2. Leading them into u different strategy - positive reinforcement too.
If someone refuses to budge then I will by removing their company
What would you use as positive reinforcement?
"
Anything - and you could adapt it to the person. You'll probably be feeling better, so smiles, physical affection, words of positivity etc. You might be 'training' them openly or covertly, but I tend to express how I'm feeling, as that cuts to someone's heart more directly. I'd generally not be holding it as a simulated therapy session but done as naturally as possible.
I'll back off from people sometimes, as they can need time and space to take feedback on board, such as when you've stopped them behaving a certain way.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"I follow two approaches -
1. Telling them to stop, if they're behaving poorly.
2. Leading them into u different strategy - positive reinforcement too.
If someone refuses to budge then I will by removing their company
What would you use as positive reinforcement?
Anything - and you could adapt it to the person. You'll probably be feeling better, so smiles, physical affection, words of positivity etc. You might be 'training' them openly or covertly, but I tend to express how I'm feeling, as that cuts to someone's heart more directly. I'd generally not be holding it as a simulated therapy session but done as naturally as possible.
I'll back off from people sometimes, as they can need time and space to take feedback on board, such as when you've stopped them behaving a certain way.
"
It helps to be well versed in reinforcement theory but I'd rather be in an adult relationship! lol!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really....
These are people we are talking about not dogs or pet rabbits.
Perhaps if we want people to treat us properly we should extend then the same courtesy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People will try and treat me however they want. It's up to me if I accept it. I can hint. If they don't take the hint, I'll spell it out. That's the best I can do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Really....
These are people we are talking about not dogs or pet rabbits.
Perhaps if we want people to treat us properly we should extend then the same courtesy?"
Absolutely.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I follow two approaches -
1. Telling them to stop, if they're behaving poorly.
2. Leading them into u different strategy - positive reinforcement too.
If someone refuses to budge then I will by removing their company
What would you use as positive reinforcement?
Anything - and you could adapt it to the person. You'll probably be feeling better, so smiles, physical affection, words of positivity etc. You might be 'training' them openly or covertly, but I tend to express how I'm feeling, as that cuts to someone's heart more directly. I'd generally not be holding it as a simulated therapy session but done as naturally as possible.
I'll back off from people sometimes, as they can need time and space to take feedback on board, such as when you've stopped them behaving a certain way.
"
Thank you x |
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