FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Did you like being married.....
Did you like being married.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was married for 11 years and loved it we had our ups and downs and had great kids from it......would i do it again hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...yes.
Were you ever married or would like to.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having never been married but I have cohabited with a couple of partners, one for close to 5 years, can I ask, what do you feel the difference is between just living with a partner and getting married? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Having never been married but I have cohabited with a couple of partners, one for close to 5 years, can I ask, what do you feel the difference is between just living with a partner and getting married?"
As stated i was married for 11 years and have lived with 2 women since being single,to be honest there was no difference in both there has to be trust and honesty and being there for each other and all the rest that goes with any relationship.
Both can cause problems when you split up legally and the one certainty is it will cost a fortune to break up ???. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having never been married but I have cohabited with a couple of partners, one for close to 5 years, can I ask, what do you feel the difference is between just living with a partner and getting married?
As stated i was married for 11 years and have lived with 2 women since being single,to be honest there was no difference in both there has to be trust and honesty and being there for each other and all the rest that goes with any relationship.
Both can cause problems when you split up legally and the one certainty is it will cost a fortune to break up ???."
Yeah the financial aspects would be the only aspect I could see that would be different IMO
But in honesty I loved living with a partner. Just knowing there's someone waiting at home for you gives me that warm feeling haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was married because at the time it seemed romantic and I wanted to fully commit to him.
Im not sure if id do it again. I guess it depends on the person and the way our relationship works. Oh and their surname!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was married because at the time it seemed romantic and I wanted to fully commit to him.
Im not sure if id do it again. I guess it depends on the person and the way our relationship works. Oh and their surname!! "
I couldnt have summed this up more  i was madly in love with my ex wife and at the time this was way back in 1973 i was a very romantic guy (and still am)and just wanted to marry her and take care of her  on reflection you realise that you were just to young and inexperienced to cope with everyday things and the pressure of marriage.....but i wouldnt have changed it, we are still friends today she has settled with another guy and has kids with him but she never has got married again ha ha once bitten with me i think.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was married for almost sixteen years but the last eight years of our relationship was tough going and we just kind of grew apart, it was a good marriage to begin with and I have two wonderful boys from it, I don't regret it it was just very sad when we split up.
Never say never again but I can't imagine living with anyone now, I'm in a really loving relationship but we both like our space and respect eachother enough to know when we need that space. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
We have been married for 36 years and would not change it for the world.
We have our own space to do what we like but are still one unit.
We met and had sex with others when we were single, engaged and all through our marriage that has not changed.
Think of it this way when you were single did you have meals at home and did you eat out, did marriage change that?
There were no thoughts of being unfaithfuly because you ate ate a cafe instead of at home so what is different about sex?
As long as it is not behind your partners back everything is fine. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have been married for 36 years and would not change it for the world.
We have our own space to do what we like but are still one unit.
We met and had sex with others when we were single, engaged and all through our marriage that has not changed.
Think of it this way when you were single did you have meals at home and did you eat out, did marriage change that?
There were no thoughts of being unfaithfuly because you ate ate a cafe instead of at home so what is different about sex?
As long as it is not behind your partners back everything is fine."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Married 4 years only together 8 years. Longest relationship and I don't think I would marry again. Dont want to live with anyone but do want a companion /friend and lots of sex |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
No.it was a huge mistake. I cried the whole way through our totally crappy wedding. I didn't love him and he didn't know how to love anyone.
That said it was an experience that shaped who I am today. I have 3 amazing son's from it and I enjoyed discovering who I am after our divorce with an openness I wouldn't have had otherwise.
However I've been single 8 years now and in love with someone for 6 of them. If circumstances changed I'd happily marry him and make our happily ever after.
I also really want a dress!
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Married for 10 years ish. I thought we was happy but as always seems to happen to be it was all a lie. That was about 15 years ago now and I did very nearly remarry bit thankfully I seen the light 2 weeks before the day and called it off. That was definitely the best 10 grand I ever wasted..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Married for 10 years ish. I thought we was happy but as always seems to happen to be it was all a lie. That was about 15 years ago now and I did very nearly remarry bit thankfully I seen the light 2 weeks before the day and called it off. That was definitely the best 10 grand I ever wasted....."
Wow.....10 grand you could have bought a nice car with that and got a lot more pleasure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was very much in love with my wife and we had some great times, but she was intent on making me into the man she thought I should be, rather than who I was. She was controlling and abusive. It wasn't until we separated and I could stand back and take stock that I was able to see all the classic abusive tactics she had used.
I miss how we were and regret that our daughter will grow with separated parents, but we are where we are.
It's made me very unlikely to want to do it again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was married for 22 years, I fooled myself into thinking I was happy. In reality I was married to an emotionally abusive, cheating control freak and a few other words I don't even want to say.
I suppose I did enjoy the security of having someone to share my life with, and have 3 beautiful children to thank him for. But he's left us all damaged and I'm not sure marriage at the moment is something I want to think about. Mr and I enjoy being together but still have that time apart so, for us it's working nicely at the moment just being single but together x |
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"Married for 10 years ish. I thought we was happy but as always seems to happen to be it was all a lie. That was about 15 years ago now and I did very nearly remarry bit thankfully I seen the light 2 weeks before the day and called it off. That was definitely the best 10 grand I ever wasted.....
Wow.....10 grand you could have bought a nice car with that and got a lot more pleasure "
It's only money easy come easy go in fact that was a bargain compared to my divorce.... |
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We'll be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this year and were together 7 years before that.
I wouldn't marry again. For me having built up a good, strong relationship over the last 37 years attempting to come anywhere near it would be impossible. I don't think I would have the heart or inclination to try.
I would look for companionship and emotional intimacy but that extra "something" that in my opinion a long marriage brings wouldn't be there. |
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"We'll be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this year and were together 7 years before that.
I wouldn't marry again. For me having built up a good, strong relationship over the last 37 years attempting to come anywhere near it would be impossible. I don't think I would have the heart or inclination to try.
I would look for companionship and emotional intimacy but that extra "something" that in my opinion a long marriage brings wouldn't be there."
Wow 30th I just can't get my head round that it just seems an impossibility to me. Respect to you both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was with my ex for 22 years, and should have left about 10 years earlier than I did.
I learned a lot from the experience, I have 3 fantastic kids, and am now in a far happier relationship.
Will we marry? Maybe, after our kids have grown up, but it will be more to do with inheritance and next of kin considerations as we age than anything else, to me, the primary function of marriage is to provide stability for children and protection for a partner who may be financially disadvantaged by time spent raising those children, and, in later life, to provide for certain legal considerations.
Marital status has no bearing on love, respect or commitment in my book. |
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"I was with my ex for 22 years, and should have left about 10 years earlier than I did.
I learned a lot from the experience, I have 3 fantastic kids, and am now in a far happier relationship.
Will we marry? Maybe, after our kids have grown up, but it will be more to do with inheritance and next of kin considerations as we age than anything else, to me, the primary function of marriage is to provide stability for children and protection for a partner who may be financially disadvantaged by time spent raising those children, and, in later life, to provide for certain legal considerations.
Marital status has no bearing on love, respect or commitment in my book."
Sounds more like a business deal |
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"We'll be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this year and were together 7 years before that.
I wouldn't marry again. For me having built up a good, strong relationship over the last 37 years attempting to come anywhere near it would be impossible. I don't think I would have the heart or inclination to try.
I would look for companionship and emotional intimacy but that extra "something" that in my opinion a long marriage brings wouldn't be there.
Wow 30th I just can't get my head round that it just seems an impossibility to me. Respect to you both "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was with my ex for 22 years, and should have left about 10 years earlier than I did.
I learned a lot from the experience, I have 3 fantastic kids, and am now in a far happier relationship.
Will we marry? Maybe, after our kids have grown up, but it will be more to do with inheritance and next of kin considerations as we age than anything else, to me, the primary function of marriage is to provide stability for children and protection for a partner who may be financially disadvantaged by time spent raising those children, and, in later life, to provide for certain legal considerations.
Marital status has no bearing on love, respect or commitment in my book.
Sounds more like a business deal"
It's essentially a legal contract, certainly no guarantee in itself of any emotional fulfilment. |
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"We'll be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this year and were together 7 years before that.
I wouldn't marry again. For me having built up a good, strong relationship over the last 37 years attempting to come anywhere near it would be impossible. I don't think I would have the heart or inclination to try.
I would look for companionship and emotional intimacy but that extra "something" that in my opinion a long marriage brings wouldn't be there.
Wow 30th I just can't get my head round that it just seems an impossibility to me. Respect to you both "
My parents celebrated 62 years of marriage this year...now that's an achievement! |
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"I was with my ex for 22 years, and should have left about 10 years earlier than I did.
I learned a lot from the experience, I have 3 fantastic kids, and am now in a far happier relationship.
Will we marry? Maybe, after our kids have grown up, but it will be more to do with inheritance and next of kin considerations as we age than anything else, to me, the primary function of marriage is to provide stability for children and protection for a partner who may be financially disadvantaged by time spent raising those children, and, in later life, to provide for certain legal considerations.
Marital status has no bearing on love, respect or commitment in my book.
Sounds more like a business deal
It's essentially a legal contract, certainly no guarantee in itself of any emotional fulfilment."
Yes very true it's sad it boils down to something so clinical though. Wasn't a dig by the way just hadn't thought of it that way... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was with my ex for 22 years, and should have left about 10 years earlier than I did.
I learned a lot from the experience, I have 3 fantastic kids, and am now in a far happier relationship.
Will we marry? Maybe, after our kids have grown up, but it will be more to do with inheritance and next of kin considerations as we age than anything else, to me, the primary function of marriage is to provide stability for children and protection for a partner who may be financially disadvantaged by time spent raising those children, and, in later life, to provide for certain legal considerations.
Marital status has no bearing on love, respect or commitment in my book.
Sounds more like a business deal
It's essentially a legal contract, certainly no guarantee in itself of any emotional fulfilment.
Yes very true it's sad it boils down to something so clinical though. Wasn't a dig by the way just hadn't thought of it that way..."
There's nothing sad about it, I simply recognise that being married doesn't magically waft something over your relationship or give any guarantees of your partner's behaviour - or your own either for that matter. |
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"Having never been married but I have cohabited with a couple of partners, one for close to 5 years, can I ask, what do you feel the difference is between just living with a partner and getting married?"
a..commitment
b..familiarity breeds contempt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is the pain and heartache and all the drama and shit that comes from the breakup that scares the shit out of me, it makes me very wary of commitment now and definitely not a place I would like to visit any day soon, but hopefully someday it will happen again never say never |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I loved the first few years; it went rapidly downhill after that, but I stuck it out because I thought it would get better again, and my children mattered more than me.
I can't see me doing it again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having never been married but I have cohabited with a couple of partners, one for close to 5 years, can I ask, what do you feel the difference is between just living with a partner and getting married?
a..commitment
b..familiarity breeds contempt"
Exactly this.
For some of us .. living together (familiarity) does breed contempt and you find yourself not making as much as an effort. You become complacent.
The next relationship i have will be with someone i am in love with but we live apart. We do things together, holiday, meals out etc but we have time for ourself too. Maybe an open relationship would work too so neither has to deceive each other.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't feel any different converting a long term relationship into a marriage, probabky because it was more of a formality than a romantic decision.
General musing if the possibility was ever to arise again, would I ever marry again, probably not. |
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"Having never been married but I have cohabited with a couple of partners, one for close to 5 years, can I ask, what do you feel the difference is between just living with a partner and getting married?
a..commitment
b..familiarity breeds contempt
Exactly this.
For some of us .. living together (familiarity) does breed contempt and you find yourself not making as much as an effort. You become complacent.
The next relationship i have will be with someone i am in love with but we live apart. We do things together, holiday, meals out etc but we have time for ourself too. Maybe an open relationship would work too so neither has to deceive each other.
Hmmm... Do I hear the voice of reason?
My time...your time..our time!
The perfect combination
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was married nearly 25 years ago. Twenty yeas ago a lorry smashed into my wife's car, killing her, my 2 year old angelic daughter and unborn child. So yes I enjoyed being married and wish I still was to her. But now I never seem to get close to anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. Unfortunately it was to the wrong woman.
My ring finger felt 'empty' for over 20 years even though I was only married for 2.
Married again now and I love that feeling  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was married nearly 25 years ago. Twenty yeas ago a lorry smashed into my wife's car, killing her, my 2 year old angelic daughter and unborn child. So yes I enjoyed being married and wish I still was to her. But now I never seem to get close to anyone. "
Oh crap. That's horrid. I'm not surprised you find it hard to let anyone close now. Hugs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was married nearly 25 years ago. Twenty yeas ago a lorry smashed into my wife's car, killing her, my 2 year old angelic daughter and unborn child. So yes I enjoyed being married and wish I still was to her. But now I never seem to get close to anyone. "
That's very sad x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was married for 11 years and loved it we had our ups and downs and had great kids from it......would i do it again hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...yes.
Were you ever married or would like to.
"
Blimey OP!
This is a very interesting thread. I have never married, but I would love to one day!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was married nearly 25 years ago. Twenty yeas ago a lorry smashed into my wife's car, killing her, my 2 year old angelic daughter and unborn child. So yes I enjoyed being married and wish I still was to her. But now I never seem to get close to anyone. "
Oh bloody hell .. im so sorry to hear this.
You can never get over that and I dont suppose its easy to get close to anyone. Where do you begin. That fear of losing anyone is always going to be there.
In time you may be able to find someone, but if your heart is elsewhere then maybe not.  |
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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago
inverclyde |
Was married for 24yrs have one beautiful 21yr old daughter. It was mental bullying that broke our marriage he tried to put it right but too late.....would I do it again not sure but do miss the kisses, cuddles and having that male close to me. Now it's trust, loving and caring that's a big issue. Would have to be somebody very special |
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When my second marriage broke down some seven years ago , I said I would never marry again .
But after meeting S , and falling in love , I did five years ago , and it's definately third time lucky . Never been as happy as I am now .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was married nearly 25 years ago. Twenty yeas ago a lorry smashed into my wife's car, killing her, my 2 year old angelic daughter and unborn child. So yes I enjoyed being married and wish I still was to her. But now I never seem to get close to anyone.
Oh bloody hell .. im so sorry to hear this.
You can never get over that and I dont suppose its easy to get close to anyone. Where do you begin. That fear of losing anyone is always going to be there.
In time you may be able to find someone, but if your heart is elsewhere then maybe not. "
I just ploughed my life into my work.I don't drink or smoke or do drugs, which is good as I would have self destruct ed by now. I do however work hard encouraging young children and adults in education. With a lot of success. Every time I hear of children getting hurt or families being destroyed it breaks my heart. |
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Together 30 years married for 22, still going strong... and yes, we love being married to each other.
has it always been rainbows and happy times?
Hell no.
But we have worked at it, talked things through, and now we know there isn't anything that we cant deal with as a team. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was married nearly 25 years ago. Twenty yeas ago a lorry smashed into my wife's car, killing her, my 2 year old angelic daughter and unborn child. So yes I enjoyed being married and wish I still was to her. But now I never seem to get close to anyone.
Oh bloody hell .. im so sorry to hear this.
You can never get over that and I dont suppose its easy to get close to anyone. Where do you begin. That fear of losing anyone is always going to be there.
In time you may be able to find someone, but if your heart is elsewhere then maybe not.
I just ploughed my life into my work.I don't drink or smoke or do drugs, which is good as I would have self destruct ed by now. I do however work hard encouraging young children and adults in education. With a lot of success. Every time I hear of children getting hurt or families being destroyed it breaks my heart. "
good for you .. you have turned your life and others around |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there any real need to do the marriage thing anymore? Either a couple have dedicated to share their lives together or they haven't."
I don't think it's about the need to. People like to make that commitment to each other and celebrate with family. I didn't married because I thought I needed to; I already had a child with him and was planning on having another. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there any real need to do the marriage thing anymore? Either a couple have dedicated to share their lives together or they haven't.
No there isn't. It's a choice now rather than a necessity."
There wasn't a need to do it back in the 80's when I got married. Some people chose marriage, some lived together as a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was married for 11 years and loved it we had our ups and downs and had great kids from it......would i do it again hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...yes.
Were you ever married or would like to.
"
I've never been married but maybe one day.
Not that big a deal
~Mia |
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I've had 2 long-term relationships totalling 20 years. In both I Fell for the wrong person and allowed myself to be treated pretty badly!
Other than observing others, I've no idea what a good relationship is like - and part of me is too scared of getting hurt again to find out! Hence fab! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first part of my marriage was lovely, but then the niggles set in. I've got two gorgeous boys, so I can't grumble really! Would I get married again? Possibly, but as I can't even get the dating thing right, I think it's some way off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had 2 long-term relationships totalling 20 years. In both I Fell for the wrong person and allowed myself to be treated pretty badly!
Other than observing others, I've no idea what a good relationship is like - and part of me is too scared of getting hurt again to find out! Hence fab! "
Sorry to hear that! I know many people who are in a similar situation. Never say never because you may just find the one when you least expect it... especially on here! It has happened to soo many people already.
Don't let your fear of past experiences restrict you from having the happiness you deserve in the future.
"Nobody is in charge of your happiness except you"
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"We've been married 22 years and I think I've found my true soul mate. We're best friends and I cannot imagine life without her. Lucky I guess."
More than lucky! You've won life's lottery! hope to find that one day! |
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By *oneDoeWoman
over a year ago
socially distanced |
I'm still technically married while he's telling the world he's married to someone else.
The pain and misery and abuse I was put through before my senses kicked in is more than enough for me to never get married again.
It's something that I only wanted to do once and spent a massive amount of money in doing so for it to be a massive lie on his part.
It would take a massive massive massive change for me to even think about getting married again. |
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"Having never been married but I have cohabited with a couple of partners, one for close to 5 years, can I ask, what do you feel the difference is between just living with a partner and getting married?"
Commitment, nuff said, lol |
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"We'll be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this year and were together 7 years before that.
I wouldn't marry again. For me having built up a good, strong relationship over the last 37 years attempting to come anywhere near it would be impossible. I don't think I would have the heart or inclination to try.
I would look for companionship and emotional intimacy but that extra "something" that in my opinion a long marriage brings wouldn't be there.
Wow 30th I just can't get my head round that it just seems an impossibility to me. Respect to you both
My parents celebrated 62 years of marriage this year...now that's an achievement! "
My Mum died last year aged 87 and she and my Dad had been together since school!!
So yes, I believe in marriage, I prefer monogamy and stability, but I would want to live with someone for a couple of years first to be sure if I ever did it again.  |
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"We've been married 22 years and I think I've found my true soul mate. We're best friends and I cannot imagine life without her. Lucky I guess.
More than lucky! You've won life's lottery! hope to find that one day! "
Me too  |
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"We've been married 22 years and I think I've found my true soul mate. We're best friends and I cannot imagine life without her. Lucky I guess.
More than lucky! You've won life's lottery! hope to find that one day!
Me too "
Thanks x |
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"We'll be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this year and were together 7 years before that.
I wouldn't marry again. For me having built up a good, strong relationship over the last 37 years attempting to come anywhere near it would be impossible. I don't think I would have the heart or inclination to try.
I would look for companionship and emotional intimacy but that extra "something" that in my opinion a long marriage brings wouldn't be there.
Wow 30th I just can't get my head round that it just seems an impossibility to me. Respect to you both
My parents celebrated 62 years of marriage this year...now that's an achievement!
My Mum died last year aged 87 and she and my Dad had been together since school!!
So yes, I believe in marriage, I prefer monogamy and stability, but I would want to live with someone for a couple of years first to be sure if I ever did it again. "
Sorry about your mum that must have been incredibly hard for your dad to have been together so long |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was married previously ( Kinky) Quite sad as I wasn't really in love with him. ( crazy I know). I would marry again but it would have to be for "real" love this time
Kinky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am married and love it very much. I'm crazy in love with my husband and him with me. That doesn't preclude us seeing other people, we've recently opened our relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am married and love it very much. I'm crazy in love with my husband and him with me. That doesn't preclude us seeing other people, we've recently opened our relationship. "
Good on you...its a lot of fun as you will find out. |
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