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Unreasonable cunt.
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"How do you get an absolute unreasonable cunt to see past their own hatred towards you? Gonna sound all Jeremy Kyle here but I don't care and I want advice, there's an order in place between my ex and I whereby he has to have our daughter every other weekend fri to sun and every Wednesday for a couple of hours. This Saturday my daughter has a grading for kickboxing, they only do it on a Saturday every 3 months, she missed the last one because it fell on his Saturday and he wouldn't take her. Despite me paying for everything already paying the £30 for the belt. Anyway this weekend is his weekend and next weekend (my weekend) is Father's Day whereby the order says that he is to pick her up for the day (same for me with Mother's Day) I just asked him if he would swap the weekend so I can take her to kickboxing and he could have the full weekend on Father's Day weekend. He said no, I said right ok she has grading this Saturday will you take her, he says no it's his weekend, at this point my daughter (7 years old) is saying but Dad I have to do my grading. I tell her to go in the house and I go outside to his car to speak to him, he's getting in his car, I'm saying right so what's happening this weekend now and he said oh you just take her I'll pick her up after it, I said ok and Sunday will you take her to her swimming lesson (cos he never takes her to them when they fall on his weekend) then tells me that he's not doing things that I want to do all the time. It's not fucking shit that I want to do, do you think I enjoy all the money that all these classes and stuff cost, I do it because she wants to do them. He absolutely hates me, will not reason with me will not ever listen to me. How do you get a cunt to stop trying to hurt you by depriving their own child. Granny, affectionate bitch and any other psychology peoples opinions please. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to fulfill all her commitments when they fall on his weekend. I try not to let anything be on her weekend but the kickboxing grading is only on a Saturday every 3 months, also her swimming is on a Sunday because they only do lessons Tuesday and Saturday and Sunday and Tuesday she has drama and piano. I take her to all her classes, I pay for all her classes, all he has to do is take her when they fall on his weekend, it's bloody 30 mins on a Sunday and a couple of hours on a Saturday every 3 months for grading. The thought of having to deal with this till she's like what 12,13 even 16, just makes me miserable and anxious. He's been with his girlfriend for 7 years now, they aren't engaged they don't live together or nothing. Wish he would just have a child with her so he has something else to concentrate on other than being an unreasonable wanker. He also doesn't pay a penny in maintenance. I've told my daughter that she has to stick up for herself and if she wants to do these things she has to ask him herself which she does. Weekend before last she came home upset on the Sunday because daddy wouldn't take her to her swimming lesson. Now that's just sick to me, he won't even acknowledge his own child's wishes and thinks that the time she spends with him is so special and superior to any other activity. He's actually said to me in the past that spending time with him is more beneficial than any of her classses. " ..........................that shit hurt my head  | |||
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"Stop him from seeing her. " and the daughter suffers | |||
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"Stop him from seeing her. and the daughter suffers " I doubt it | |||
"Stop him from seeing her. and the daughter suffers " This   | |||
"Stop him from seeing her. and the daughter suffers I doubt it " I'm sure in years to come she would...  | |||
"How do you get an absolute unreasonable cunt to see past their own hatred towards you? Gonna sound all Jeremy Kyle here but I don't care and I want advice, there's an order in place between my ex and I whereby he has to have our daughter every other weekend fri to sun and every Wednesday for a couple of hours. This Saturday my daughter has a grading for kickboxing, they only do it on a Saturday every 3 months, she missed the last one because it fell on his Saturday and he wouldn't take her. Despite me paying for everything already paying the £30 for the belt. Anyway this weekend is his weekend and next weekend (my weekend) is Father's Day whereby the order says that he is to pick her up for the day (same for me with Mother's Day) I just asked him if he would swap the weekend so I can take her to kickboxing and he could have the full weekend on Father's Day weekend. He said no, I said right ok she has grading this Saturday will you take her, he says no it's his weekend, at this point my daughter (7 years old) is saying but Dad I have to do my grading. I tell her to go in the house and I go outside to his car to speak to him, he's getting in his car, I'm saying right so what's happening this weekend now and he said oh you just take her I'll pick her up after it, I said ok and Sunday will you take her to her swimming lesson (cos he never takes her to them when they fall on his weekend) then tells me that he's not doing things that I want to do all the time. It's not fucking shit that I want to do, do you think I enjoy all the money that all these classes and stuff cost, I do it because she wants to do them. He absolutely hates me, will not reason with me will not ever listen to me. How do you get a cunt to stop trying to hurt you by depriving their own child. Granny, affectionate bitch and any other psychology peoples opinions please. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to fulfill all her commitments when they fall on his weekend. I try not to let anything be on her weekend but the kickboxing grading is only on a Saturday every 3 months, also her swimming is on a Sunday because they only do lessons Tuesday and Saturday and Sunday and Tuesday she has drama and piano. I take her to all her classes, I pay for all her classes, all he has to do is take her when they fall on his weekend, it's bloody 30 mins on a Sunday and a couple of hours on a Saturday every 3 months for grading. The thought of having to deal with this till she's like what 12,13 even 16, just makes me miserable and anxious. He's been with his girlfriend for 7 years now, they aren't engaged they don't live together or nothing. Wish he would just have a child with her so he has something else to concentrate on other than being an unreasonable wanker. He also doesn't pay a penny in maintenance. I've told my daughter that she has to stick up for herself and if she wants to do these things she has to ask him herself which she does. Weekend before last she came home upset on the Sunday because daddy wouldn't take her to her swimming lesson. Now that's just sick to me, he won't even acknowledge his own child's wishes and thinks that the time she spends with him is so special and superior to any other activity. He's actually said to me in the past that spending time with him is more beneficial than any of her classses. " she is your daughter and you are the main parent , she lives with you , just take her to her classes as thats what she wants to do , he wont take you to court over it , do whats best for your daughter and dont worry about it..... | |||
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"Stop him from seeing her. and the daughter suffers I doubt it " I have a 7 year old girl who would nothing more than to have a father in her life, but he walked away from the start. She has seen him 7 times in her life and adores the bloody bones off him. I think he's a twat but she'll never know that. In years to come she will understand its down to him, but for now she hangs on to the fact her perfect loving father is just a very busy man. Although in Empress's situation he is being a twat to her, the father is still a vital part of their childs life. | |||
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"Stop him from seeing her. and the daughter suffers I doubt it " I doubt it too. Not for just one weekend. Message to say "you're swapping the weekends so he can spend Father's Day weekend with her" and then turn your phone off. Take her with you and stay somewhere Friday night, phone off, so he can't pick her up. Take her for her grading on Saturday and then turn your phone back on. If he has the audacity to take you to court you'll get your chance to tell the court he isn't paying and claim you had both hers and his best interests at heart. | |||
"How on earth will the daughter suffer from not seeing a man who refuses to support her in the things she loves doing? Who, by, not doing so, shows she isn't important to him, her aspirations don't matter to him, he'd rather point score with her mother than help her do whats important to her? That's rhetorical, I don't need an answer. She'll be just fine and much happier not being made to feel like shit by a person who's supposed to put her first but refuses to, for his own petty crap. " They have a court order in place apart from any other argument against preventing a parent from not seeing their child. | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law." I would rather my daughters dad be there emotionally and physically than financially. Kids dont necessarily need material things.. they need the love, support and commitment from parents. Speaking from experience here. | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. I would rather my daughters dad be there emotionally and physically than financially. Kids dont necessarily need material things.. they need the love, support and commitment from parents. Speaking from experience here." | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. I would rather my daughters dad be there emotionally and physically than financially. Kids dont necessarily need material things.. they need the love, support and commitment from parents. Speaking from experience here." Absolutely.. i never asked for a penny from my nippers dad said from the start i just wanted them to bond.. turns out he couldnt do that either | |||
"Been in your shoes!! Oh my. Whatever you do, don't stop him seeing her! Just keep being the bigger person. Do whatever is in your power to do the right thing. My daughter is now 16 and sees her father for what he is. Just always do what is right for your child in your power. If he can't do the same it will come back to haunt him. Good luck x" This. We know it's not easy, we both have children from previous relationships. Nita | |||
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"How do you get an absolute unreasonable cunt to see past their own hatred towards you? Gonna sound all Jeremy Kyle here but I don't care and I want advice, there's an order in place between my ex and I whereby he has to have our daughter every other weekend fri to sun and every Wednesday for a couple of hours. This Saturday my daughter has a grading for kickboxing, they only do it on a Saturday every 3 months, she missed the last one because it fell on his Saturday and he wouldn't take her. Despite me paying for everything already paying the £30 for the belt. Anyway this weekend is his weekend and next weekend (my weekend) is Father's Day whereby the order says that he is to pick her up for the day (same for me with Mother's Day) I just asked him if he would swap the weekend so I can take her to kickboxing and he could have the full weekend on Father's Day weekend. He said no, I said right ok she has grading this Saturday will you take her, he says no it's his weekend, at this point my daughter (7 years old) is saying but Dad I have to do my grading. I tell her to go in the house and I go outside to his car to speak to him, he's getting in his car, I'm saying right so what's happening this weekend now and he said oh you just take her I'll pick her up after it, I said ok and Sunday will you take her to her swimming lesson (cos he never takes her to them when they fall on his weekend) then tells me that he's not doing things that I want to do all the time. It's not fucking shit that I want to do, do you think I enjoy all the money that all these classes and stuff cost, I do it because she wants to do them. He absolutely hates me, will not reason with me will not ever listen to me. How do you get a cunt to stop trying to hurt you by depriving their own child. Granny, affectionate bitch and any other psychology peoples opinions please. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to fulfill all her commitments when they fall on his weekend. I try not to let anything be on her weekend but the kickboxing grading is only on a Saturday every 3 months, also her swimming is on a Sunday because they only do lessons Tuesday and Saturday and Sunday and Tuesday she has drama and piano. I take her to all her classes, I pay for all her classes, all he has to do is take her when they fall on his weekend, it's bloody 30 mins on a Sunday and a couple of hours on a Saturday every 3 months for grading. The thought of having to deal with this till she's like what 12,13 even 16, just makes me miserable and anxious. He's been with his girlfriend for 7 years now, they aren't engaged they don't live together or nothing. Wish he would just have a child with her so he has something else to concentrate on other than being an unreasonable wanker. He also doesn't pay a penny in maintenance. I've told my daughter that she has to stick up for herself and if she wants to do these things she has to ask him herself which she does. Weekend before last she came home upset on the Sunday because daddy wouldn't take her to her swimming lesson. Now that's just sick to me, he won't even acknowledge his own child's wishes and thinks that the time she spends with him is so special and superior to any other activity. He's actually said to me in the past that spending time with him is more beneficial than any of her classses. she is your daughter and you are the main parent , she lives with you , just take her to her classes as thats what she wants to do , he wont take you to court over it , do whats best for your daughter and dont worry about it....." This A | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. I would rather my daughters dad be there emotionally and physically than financially. Kids dont necessarily need material things.. they need the love, support and commitment from parents. Speaking from experience here. Absolutely.. i never asked for a penny from my nippers dad said from the start i just wanted them to bond.. turns out he couldnt do that either " Very sad but I'm sure you fill the gap they don't know exists | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. I would rather my daughters dad be there emotionally and physically than financially. Kids dont necessarily need material things.. they need the love, support and commitment from parents. Speaking from experience here." Fair play but it don't put food on the table or clothes on their backs. I would of failed as a father if i couldn't provide both emotionally and financially its called being a father/Parent and my boys will not go without it's MY job my life commitment to them. | |||
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"Why isnt he helping pay for anything. Please tell me he pays you maintenance. What a cruel bastard" Just read he doesnt pay maintenance. Neither does my kids dad but he does pay half for their hobbies/trips etc | |||
" I would of failed as a father if i couldn't provide both emotionally and financially its called being a father/Parent and my boys will not go without it's MY job my life commitment to them." I agree also but I would have loved for my daughters father to be there for her .. i didnt care about the money .. i just wanted him not to let her down which he did many times and absent in her life. Times were tough, we had a period of not having a hot meal for dinner, always buying second hand clothes. I remember the excitement on my daughters face when I bought her some new clothes rather than second hand. She was 3 years old and the excitement well i can remember it as if it was yesterday. But there was love. OP the father does need to pay maintenence, no doubt about it. Only you know what he is truly like. I hope you manage to work something out that is suitable for both of you. x | |||
"How do you get an absolute unreasonable cunt to see past their own hatred towards you? " can't be done, he is unreasonable by default and so will not do anything a reasonable person would do. his hate will hopefully give him a heart attack soon and he dies from that. jk,hope that made you laugh coz i'd like you to be happy.
"Gonna sound all Jeremy Kyle here but I don't care and I want advice, there's an order in place between my ex and I whereby he has to have our daughter every other weekend fri to sun and every Wednesday for a couple of hours. This Saturday my daughter has a grading for kickboxing, they only do it on a Saturday every 3 months, she missed the last one because it fell on his Saturday and he wouldn't take her. Despite me paying for everything already paying the £30 for the belt. Anyway this weekend is his weekend and next weekend (my weekend) is Father's Day whereby the order says that he is to pick her up for the day (same for me with Mother's Day) I just asked him if he would swap the weekend so I can take her to kickboxing and he could have the full weekend on Father's Day weekend. He said no, I said right ok she has grading this Saturday will you take her, he says no it's his weekend, at this point my daughter (7 years old) is saying but Dad I have to do my grading. I tell her to go in the house and I go outside to his car to speak to him, he's getting in his car, I'm saying right so what's happening this weekend now and he said oh you just take her I'll pick her up after it, I said ok and Sunday will you take her to her swimming lesson (cos he never takes her to them when they fall on his weekend) then tells me that he's not doing things that I want to do all the time. " right. here i'm gonna say he actually was reasonable. when you asked about the grading he was being his cunty self but when he realised his daughter actually wanted to get the belt he backed down. he backed down and you have got what you wanted here. i do think this is fair and it might have caused him some distress backing down also so was big of him. and he did that for his daughter, remember this because it does mean although he doesn't care what you say it does mean he cares what she says,so he does care about her and that is what matters. "It's not fucking shit that I want to do, do you think I enjoy all the money that all these classes and stuff cost, I do it because she wants to do them. " ok. gonna actually say that it is his time with his daughter and he has no obligation to you at all to do anything you ask of him, so long as he is looking after his daughter and taking care of her during his time with her. he should, of course, be considerate of what she (your daughter) wants also. i do think he might be trying not to take on the responsibilities that come along with your/his daughter. not sure what he thinks being a parent is? i know some men haven't a clue about having kids and when they only see them on their time off they expect to still be able to have time off, when parenting is not like that. it's a full time job that has breaks when the opportunity arises and not just because you want one. what would they get up to on his weekend if he actually got to do what he wants? would it be something lazy doing nothing much except being present or other things that he enjoys doing but would give your daughter some idea of what kind of dad he is? i think it's important she gets to know who he is, what he likes, as well as get her needs sorted also. he should have time for both these things though seeing as he has her for a whole weekend. additionally he also should show some interest in her likes so that she feels like he cares about her interests too. so take her to swimming and cheer her on, same for the grading. "He absolutely hates me, will not reason with me will not ever listen to me. How do you get a cunt to stop trying to hurt you by depriving their own child." you can't. only he can stop hating you and he doesn't want to. "Granny, affectionate bitch and any other psychology peoples opinions please. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to fulfill all her commitments when they fall on his weekend. I try not to let anything be on her weekend but the kickboxing grading is only on a Saturday every 3 months, also her swimming is on a Sunday because they only do lessons Tuesday and Saturday and Sunday and Tuesday she has drama and piano. I take her to all her classes, I pay for all her classes, all he has to do is take her when they fall on his weekend, it's bloody 30 mins on a Sunday and a couple of hours on a Saturday every 3 months for grading. " you're not being unreasonable at all. but i've given you some other things to consider above. "The thought of having to deal with this till she's like what 12,13 even 16, just makes me miserable and anxious. He's been with his girlfriend for 7 years now, they aren't engaged they don't live together or nothing. Wish he would just have a child with her so he has something else to concentrate on other than being an unreasonable wanker. He also doesn't pay a penny in maintenance. I've told my daughter that she has to stick up for herself and if she wants to do these things she has to ask him herself which she does. Weekend before last she came home upset on the Sunday because daddy wouldn't take her to her swimming lesson. Now that's just sick to me, he won't even acknowledge his own child's wishes and thinks that the time she spends with him is so special and superior to any other activity. He's actually said to me in the past that spending time with him is more beneficial than any of her classses. " he has time for the classes and himself. he sounds selfish, lazy, or both. even travelling to and from classes he has time to chat with her, spend quality time chatting and doing every day normal parenting things. don't know how you change him, you shouldn't have to really because he should understand that the things that are important to her are important enough for him to at least show interest in them. as for your anxiety, haven't a clue there either. hopefully someone else has better advice. | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law." there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.  | |||
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"Whilst i can see it from your point of view, and i can! Been there and still wearing the t-shirt, but i can also see it from his point of view. He just wants to spend time with his daughter doing what he wants to do, because to his mind, he doesn't see her as much and so wants to make their time together count. Obviously i don't know him, he might have ulterior motives i dunno, but this is what it could be. At the end of the day belts and gradings can be done in the future, if she's that bothered. Bonding time with a missing parent you can't get back. I know it's grating. I really do. But sometimes you have to turn the other cheek, swear under your breath and be the bigger person." Nope we're talking about swapping a day over for the benefit of ' their ' daughter, why wouldn't he do that for her then so she be happy.? Nope selfish and doesn't even pay anything towards her i think that says all we need to know about this little girls 'dad'. | |||
"Trying to look at it from his perspective, maybe he wants to do what he wants to do with his daughter and probably doesnt like you dictating what he should do with his daughter when he has her for the weekend. I dont think he is selfish. He is doing alot more than what some dads do. He sees his daughter regularly. Does your daughter ever complain about him? If so then it needs to be addressed but personally I dont think he is doing much wrong. Sorry but thats my opinion based on what you have written." Thats my opinion too. He should be free to do what he wants with her in 'his' time with her. My hubbys ex used to tell him what to do and where to go when he had his daughter. The demands was stopped because its his time with her. Shes now 16 and realises that her mum tried to manipulate them all. | |||
"Whilst i can see it from your point of view, and i can! Been there and still wearing the t-shirt, but i can also see it from his point of view. He just wants to spend time with his daughter doing what he wants to do, because to his mind, he doesn't see her as much and so wants to make their time together count. Obviously i don't know him, he might have ulterior motives i dunno, but this is what it could be. At the end of the day belts and gradings can be done in the future, if she's that bothered. Bonding time with a missing parent you can't get back. I know it's grating. I really do. But sometimes you have to turn the other cheek, swear under your breath and be the bigger person. Nope we're talking about swapping a day over for the benefit of ' their ' daughter, why wouldn't he do that for her then so she be happy.? Nope selfish and doesn't even pay anything towards her i think that says all we need to know about this little girls 'dad'." We only *know* one side of the story, that's all we can base our advice on. I'm sure on both sides there's more to it than meets the eye. | |||
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"Trying to look at it from his perspective, maybe he wants to do what he wants to do with his daughter and probably doesnt like you dictating what he should do with his daughter when he has her for the weekend. I dont think he is selfish. He is doing alot more than what some dads do. He sees his daughter regularly. Does your daughter ever complain about him? If so then it needs to be addressed but personally I dont think he is doing much wrong. Sorry but thats my opinion based on what you have written." | |||
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"Keep your kid to keep nagging him. The more he pisses her off, the better you look. Eventually she'll turn round and say she doesn't want to spend weekends with him and then where will he be. And Yes, you definitely need to speak to the CSA." That worked badly for my husbands ex. His daughter has seen what her mother is like with her attempts to manipulate everybody. | |||
"Stop him from seeing her. " Not an option ffs! That would also hurt the child.In years to come... 'i stopped you seeing daddy because of kick boxing, piano, drama and swimming darling' OP It's great that she's doing the activities btw, not criticising that. Unfortunately there are no winners in this. You can't break the order or it will come back to bite you on the arse - judges don't take kindly to anyone doing that regardless of common sense and putting the child first. | |||
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"If he doesn't want to do it with her it's his choice, You can't force the issue it will only upset you and further divide any relations you have with him. It's so important for your daughters, longer term well being, that you both get along, this is what you should be both be working toward as two mature parents. As she grows she will form her own opinions on what matters, but she needs to grow in a supporting environment not a war zone, just because you usher her away don't think for one minute she doesn't sense these tensions. Winning belts is far less important than winning a grounded child. " | |||
"It's just hard, I try my best for things not to take place on the weekend but she does stuff through the week days and swimming is kind of an important one and I can only fit it in on a Sunday now because of the stage she's just moved to, was the only class that had space at the time. The kickboxing grading is only on Saturdays every 3 months they come round, she missed the last one because he wouldn't take her and then I get all the tears afterwards. It's just really hard. " Regarding anxiety. If you are really struggling go to your GP for help. I was prescribed something called propranolol which you only take at stressful times. It's really helped me. | |||
"Whilst i can see it from your point of view, and i can! Been there and still wearing the t-shirt, but i can also see it from his point of view. He just wants to spend time with his daughter doing what he wants to do, because to his mind, he doesn't see her as much and so wants to make their time together count. Obviously i don't know him, he might have ulterior motives i dunno, but this is what it could be. At the end of the day belts and gradings can be done in the future, if she's that bothered. Bonding time with a missing parent you can't get back. I know it's grating. I really do. But sometimes you have to turn the other cheek, swear under your breath and be the bigger person. Nope we're talking about swapping a day over for the benefit of ' their ' daughter, why wouldn't he do that for her then so she be happy.? Nope selfish and doesn't even pay anything towards her i think that says all we need to know about this little girls 'dad'." There are obviously unresolved issues here though as it's gone to Court etc. When it comes to access orders it's safe to say that relations have got so bad that swapping days is not even an option really. If it went back to Court, Empress could be seen as trying to be awkward because it's her trying to re-arrange days that have been agreed. I just wouldn't give him ammunition. | |||
"Trying to look at it from his perspective, maybe he wants to do what he wants to do with his daughter and probably doesnt like you dictating what he should do with his daughter when he has her for the weekend. I dont think he is selfish. He is doing alot more than what some dads do. He sees his daughter regularly. Does your daughter ever complain about him? If so then it needs to be addressed but personally I dont think he is doing much wrong. Sorry but thats my opinion based on what you have written. Thats my opinion too. He should be free to do what he wants with her in 'his' time with her. My hubbys ex used to tell him what to do and where to go when he had his daughter. The demands was stopped because its his time with her. Shes now 16 and realises that her mum tried to manipulate them all." Spot on. What if he suddenly arranges for her to have gymnastics lessons every second evening and commits her mother to that? It's his time with his daughter. He shouldn't be manipulated and controlled. | |||
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"It's just hard, I try my best for things not to take place on the weekend but she does stuff through the week days and swimming is kind of an important one and I can only fit it in on a Sunday now because of the stage she's just moved to, was the only class that had space at the time. The kickboxing grading is only on Saturdays every 3 months they come round, she missed the last one because he wouldn't take her and then I get all the tears afterwards. It's just really hard. " I'm sure it is really hard, no one likes to see their child upset especially when we know what the easy fix is. But you know what life is unfair at times & unfortunately your daughter is experiencing this at the moment. Hopefully she'll be able to complete her grading, it may just take longer than 1st planned. | |||
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"How do you get an absolute unreasonable cunt to see past their own hatred towards you? Gonna sound all Jeremy Kyle here but I don't care and I want advice, there's an order in place between my ex and I whereby he has to have our daughter every other weekend fri to sun and every Wednesday for a couple of hours. This Saturday my daughter has a grading for kickboxing, they only do it on a Saturday every 3 months, she missed the last one because it fell on his Saturday and he wouldn't take her. Despite me paying for everything already paying the £30 for the belt. Anyway this weekend is his weekend and next weekend (my weekend) is Father's Day whereby the order says that he is to pick her up for the day (same for me with Mother's Day) I just asked him if he would swap the weekend so I can take her to kickboxing and he could have the full weekend on Father's Day weekend. He said no, I said right ok she has grading this Saturday will you take her, he says no it's his weekend, at this point my daughter (7 years old) is saying but Dad I have to do my grading. I tell her to go in the house and I go outside to his car to speak to him, he's getting in his car, I'm saying right so what's happening this weekend now and he said oh you just take her I'll pick her up after it, I said ok and Sunday will you take her to her swimming lesson (cos he never takes her to them when they fall on his weekend) then tells me that he's not doing things that I want to do all the time. It's not fucking shit that I want to do, do you think I enjoy all the money that all these classes and stuff cost, I do it because she wants to do them. He absolutely hates me, will not reason with me will not ever listen to me. How do you get a cunt to stop trying to hurt you by depriving their own child. Granny, affectionate bitch and any other psychology peoples opinions please. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to fulfill all her commitments when they fall on his weekend. I try not to let anything be on her weekend but the kickboxing grading is only on a Saturday every 3 months, also her swimming is on a Sunday because they only do lessons Tuesday and Saturday and Sunday and Tuesday she has drama and piano. I take her to all her classes, I pay for all her classes, all he has to do is take her when they fall on his weekend, it's bloody 30 mins on a Sunday and a couple of hours on a Saturday every 3 months for grading. The thought of having to deal with this till she's like what 12,13 even 16, just makes me miserable and anxious. He's been with his girlfriend for 7 years now, they aren't engaged they don't live together or nothing. Wish he would just have a child with her so he has something else to concentrate on other than being an unreasonable wanker. He also doesn't pay a penny in maintenance. I've told my daughter that she has to stick up for herself and if she wants to do these things she has to ask him herself which she does. Weekend before last she came home upset on the Sunday because daddy wouldn't take her to her swimming lesson. Now that's just sick to me, he won't even acknowledge his own child's wishes and thinks that the time she spends with him is so special and superior to any other activity. He's actually said to me in the past that spending time with him is more beneficial than any of her classses. " Apologies for not reading the whole thing. It's about control and he wants the reaction you're giving him. Easy to say as I've been there. Try to rise above it - take up kick boxing to get rid of the anger. You will live to see his regret and he won't be able to change a thing I waited 18 years for him to accept that I was always right. Tbh it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be Best of luck. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel x | |||
"Stop him from seeing her. " This is the worst thing you could do... | |||
"Which was in place first - the lessons or the order ?" She's been doing swimming since she was 3 and a half so for 3.5 years, she's been doing kickboxing since she was 5 so just over 2 years. The final order was done in march this year so the classes were years before the order. In court I asked the judge to include her commitments and she said yes that's a reasonable request, at the time it was only her swimming that had fallen on a weekend and she said if they haven't got anything planned then he should take her to her swimming lesson. He said in court that the 3 month grading wouldn't be a problem either if it fell on his weekend. I can't take it back to court cos I don't have the spare £215 to amend the order and things like her activities don't have a specific set thing cos they're subject to change. He said in court he'd fulfill her commitments but he's not. | |||
"How do you get an absolute unreasonable cunt to see past their own hatred towards you? Gonna sound all Jeremy Kyle here but I don't care and I want advice, there's an order in place between my ex and I whereby he has to have our daughter every other weekend fri to sun and every Wednesday for a couple of hours. This Saturday my daughter has a grading for kickboxing, they only do it on a Saturday every 3 months, she missed the last one because it fell on his Saturday and he wouldn't take her. Despite me paying for everything already paying the £30 for the belt. Anyway this weekend is his weekend and next weekend (my weekend) is Father's Day whereby the order says that he is to pick her up for the day (same for me with Mother's Day) I just asked him if he would swap the weekend so I can take her to kickboxing and he could have the full weekend on Father's Day weekend. He said no, I said right ok she has grading this Saturday will you take her, he says no it's his weekend, at this point my daughter (7 years old) is saying but Dad I have to do my grading. I tell her to go in the house and I go outside to his car to speak to him, he's getting in his car, I'm saying right so what's happening this weekend now and he said oh you just take her I'll pick her up after it, I said ok and Sunday will you take her to her swimming lesson (cos he never takes her to them when they fall on his weekend) then tells me that he's not doing things that I want to do all the time. It's not fucking shit that I want to do, do you think I enjoy all the money that all these classes and stuff cost, I do it because she wants to do them. He absolutely hates me, will not reason with me will not ever listen to me. How do you get a cunt to stop trying to hurt you by depriving their own child. Granny, affectionate bitch and any other psychology peoples opinions please. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to fulfill all her commitments when they fall on his weekend. I try not to let anything be on her weekend but the kickboxing grading is only on a Saturday every 3 months, also her swimming is on a Sunday because they only do lessons Tuesday and Saturday and Sunday and Tuesday she has drama and piano. I take her to all her classes, I pay for all her classes, all he has to do is take her when they fall on his weekend, it's bloody 30 mins on a Sunday and a couple of hours on a Saturday every 3 months for grading. The thought of having to deal with this till she's like what 12,13 even 16, just makes me miserable and anxious. He's been with his girlfriend for 7 years now, they aren't engaged they don't live together or nothing. Wish he would just have a child with her so he has something else to concentrate on other than being an unreasonable wanker. He also doesn't pay a penny in maintenance. I've told my daughter that she has to stick up for herself and if she wants to do these things she has to ask him herself which she does. Weekend before last she came home upset on the Sunday because daddy wouldn't take her to her swimming lesson. Now that's just sick to me, he won't even acknowledge his own child's wishes and thinks that the time she spends with him is so special and superior to any other activity. He's actually said to me in the past that spending time with him is more beneficial than any of her classses. Apologies for not reading the whole thing. It's about control and he wants the reaction you're giving him. Easy to say as I've been there. Try to rise above it - take up kick boxing to get rid of the anger. You will live to see his regret and he won't be able to change a thing I waited 18 years for him to accept that I was always right. Tbh it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be Best of luck. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel x" P.s As I used to tell my daughter when she went to live with her Dad. You need to deal with the way he is, not the way you think he should be xxx | |||
"Trying to look at it from his perspective, maybe he wants to do what he wants to do with his daughter and probably doesnt like you dictating what he should do with his daughter when he has her for the weekend. I dont think he is selfish. He is doing alot more than what some dads do. He sees his daughter regularly. Does your daughter ever complain about him? If so then it needs to be addressed but personally I dont think he is doing much wrong. Sorry but thats my opinion based on what you have written. Thats my opinion too. He should be free to do what he wants with her in 'his' time with her. My hubbys ex used to tell him what to do and where to go when he had his daughter. The demands was stopped because its his time with her. Shes now 16 and realises that her mum tried to manipulate them all. Spot on. What if he suddenly arranges for her to have gymnastics lessons every second evening and commits her mother to that? It's his time with his daughter. He shouldn't be manipulated and controlled." That doesn't sit right with me at all. What if the kids mum said that her time with her was to do the things she wanted to do. The kid wouldn't go to any of her clubs at all. Why does the dad get to avoid his responsibilities in taking her to the clubs she wants to go to. You can't join these clubs and say that she'll only be there for every second lesson, they wouldn't have it. It's as much his responsibility to get her there as it is the mothers, just because he only sees her part time doesn't dilute his responsibilities. | |||
"It's just hard, I try my best for things not to take place on the weekend but she does stuff through the week days and swimming is kind of an important one and I can only fit it in on a Sunday now because of the stage she's just moved to, was the only class that had space at the time. The kickboxing grading is only on Saturdays every 3 months they come round, she missed the last one because he wouldn't take her and then I get all the tears afterwards. It's just really hard. " I think its far more important for her to spend time with him than swim/kickbox. Thats based on my own family experiences, my child care training and my work. | |||
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"Keep your kid to keep nagging him. The more he pisses her off, the better you look. Eventually she'll turn round and say she doesn't want to spend weekends with him and then where will he be. And Yes, you definitely need to speak to the CSA." No don't manipulate a child like that ffs  | |||
"I'm not saying right or wrong. But this is only one side of the story and it's unlikely anybody is a character witness for either side. He could be totally be a cunt, I'm guessing most of us don't actually know." Indeed. And if the OP is trying to build a reasonable situation, calling him a cunt isn't a great start. | |||
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"I'm not saying right or wrong. But this is only one side of the story and it's unlikely anybody is a character witness for either side. He could be totally be a cunt, I'm guessing most of us don't actually know. Indeed. And if the OP is trying to build a reasonable situation, calling him a cunt isn't a great start. " What has how she referred to him here got to do with anything?
It's got nothing to do with the Rl situation. | |||
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"Trying to look at it from his perspective, maybe he wants to do what he wants to do with his daughter and probably doesnt like you dictating what he should do with his daughter when he has her for the weekend. I dont think he is selfish. He is doing alot more than what some dads do. He sees his daughter regularly. Does your daughter ever complain about him? If so then it needs to be addressed but personally I dont think he is doing much wrong. Sorry but thats my opinion based on what you have written. Thats my opinion too. He should be free to do what he wants with her in 'his' time with her. My hubbys ex used to tell him what to do and where to go when he had his daughter. The demands was stopped because its his time with her. Shes now 16 and realises that her mum tried to manipulate them all. Spot on. What if he suddenly arranges for her to have gymnastics lessons every second evening and commits her mother to that? It's his time with his daughter. He shouldn't be manipulated and controlled. That doesn't sit right with me at all. What if the kids mum said that her time with her was to do the things she wanted to do. The kid wouldn't go to any of her clubs at all. Why does the dad get to avoid his responsibilities in taking her to the clubs she wants to go to. You can't join these clubs and say that she'll only be there for every second lesson, they wouldn't have it. It's as much his responsibility to get her there as it is the mothers, just because he only sees her part time doesn't dilute his responsibilities. " So it's OK for him to commit his daughter to gymnastics every second day because that's what she wants to do? Both parents should agree to commitments that impact on their time with their daughter. | |||
" I think its far more important for her to spend time with him than swim/kickbox. Thats based on my own family experiences, my child care training and my work." If she fell off a boat in the sea, the quality time she spent with her father wouldn't save her. If she was ever threatened with physical violence be that a bully or a mugger or abusive partner, the quality time spent with her father wouldn't help her, I want to be safe in the knowledge that she can look after herself. With regards to how would I feel if he booked her in to a class and said that I have to take her during the week and he was paying for it I would think great, brilliant yes course I will take her and I would. I'd have to check it doesn't interfere with anything else. Her week is school Monday- Friday obviously. Monday kickboxing 5:30-6-30 Krav Maga 6:30-7:30 Tuesday drama 4:30-5:30 piano 6:15-7 Wednesday nothing she's sees her dad now for 2 hours (its when she used to do piano but I swapped it) Thursday kickboxing 5:30-6:30 Friday acro 4:30-5 gymnastics 5-6 If she said to him that she wanted to do another class and he said he'd pay and he'd take her on his weekend, I'd also take her to that class if it was something she wanted to do. That's what parents do. I work 2 jobs as well and by Friday I'm hanging out if my arse falling asleep in the classes, I'm not one of those mothers that's pushey. Sometimes I say to her aww love shall we just go home and put our jammies on and give (insert activity) a miss, and she'll say noo Mammy I wanna go. So we go because it's what she wants to do. | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place. "I gave up phoning the csa. Got fed up with them being rude to me thinking I was the arsehole who wasn't paying. Stupid. Sexist. Useless twats. | |||
"Trying to look at it from his perspective, maybe he wants to do what he wants to do with his daughter and probably doesnt like you dictating what he should do with his daughter when he has her for the weekend. I dont think he is selfish. He is doing alot more than what some dads do. He sees his daughter regularly. Does your daughter ever complain about him? If so then it needs to be addressed but personally I dont think he is doing much wrong. Sorry but thats my opinion based on what you have written. Thats my opinion too. He should be free to do what he wants with her in 'his' time with her. My hubbys ex used to tell him what to do and where to go when he had his daughter. The demands was stopped because its his time with her. Shes now 16 and realises that her mum tried to manipulate them all. Spot on. What if he suddenly arranges for her to have gymnastics lessons every second evening and commits her mother to that? It's his time with his daughter. He shouldn't be manipulated and controlled. That doesn't sit right with me at all. What if the kids mum said that her time with her was to do the things she wanted to do. The kid wouldn't go to any of her clubs at all. Why does the dad get to avoid his responsibilities in taking her to the clubs she wants to go to. You can't join these clubs and say that she'll only be there for every second lesson, they wouldn't have it. It's as much his responsibility to get her there as it is the mothers, just because he only sees her part time doesn't dilute his responsibilities. " Sadly this happens. I used to take my daughter to drama class on my weekend. I missed time with her to give her a hobby she wanted to persue. Her father refused. To keep her in the class I ended up paying for the weekends SJ wasn't there as well. What I think is missing from above, is for a child who sees a parent every other weekend, the parent with main responsibility has an enormous duty to look after that child during the school week. My solicitor pointed this out. It's not extra time during the week really because there is little free time, which in my situation was right. So being equal, having alternate weekends, you would hope that both parents would be committed to the child's needs. I still have the same deal. I pick up the pieces after any trauma, by and large support her financially and emotionally. Deep breath OP. You know what is right, don't let your daughter down and don't let yourself down either | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.
I gave up phoning the csa.
Got fed up with them being rude to me thinking I was the arsehole who wasn't paying.
Stupid. Sexist. Useless twats. "no idea how bad they are coz i didn't bother dealing with them unless they threatened to cut my benefits, knew he'd never have to pay a thing anyway and he didn't. they're both too old to be paid for now and got a decent step dad who shows an interest in them so fairly happy now. | |||
"My friend tells me that I've just got to let him do his thing and let her see how he is. I've always been the reminder like make sure she gets to this party or whatever if itvised to fall on the weekend or making sure he knew when school plays were or sports days. Basically making him look like a good father but you do that to stop your kid being hurt in the first place. I don't want her to think of her father as a dick head. I want her to think of him as someone she can rely on. I also don't like it when she comes home after a weekend with him, upset because he hasn't taking her to a swimming lesson or like a few kknrhs back when she missed a grading (because of him) the next lessons everyone was presented with their new belts and she didn't get hers. I get the tears then and the shit, I get the questions like why won't he take me mam. What am I supposed to say to that, makes my blood boil. " You bite your tongue, carry on being a good mum and give him enough rope to hang himself. There's nothing you can do. If he's prepared for his daughter to see him in a bad light that's his choice. So long as your daughter has one solid reliable parent, she will be fine. If he doesn't change his ways he will regret it in the future. I'm not the only one in thread that's seen this from what I read. | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.
I gave up phoning the csa.
Got fed up with them being rude to me thinking I was the arsehole who wasn't paying.
Stupid. Sexist. Useless twats.
no idea how bad they are coz i didn't bother dealing with them unless they threatened to cut my benefits, knew he'd never have to pay a thing anyway and he didn't.
they're both too old to be paid for now and got a decent step dad who shows an interest in them so fairly happy now."I'm glad that worked out in the end for you. I settled down with a lady in the end. I didn't ever claim benefits as I worked full time. I just thought my ex's ought to chip in at least a little for their daughters. They thought different. As did the csa. | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.
I gave up phoning the csa.
Got fed up with them being rude to me thinking I was the arsehole who wasn't paying.
Stupid. Sexist. Useless twats.
no idea how bad they are coz i didn't bother dealing with them unless they threatened to cut my benefits, knew he'd never have to pay a thing anyway and he didn't.
they're both too old to be paid for now and got a decent step dad who shows an interest in them so fairly happy now."Thanks for popping in. He's a real narcissistic shit as well. The worst thing about all this is that I never ever wanted to think of him badly. He was supposed to be my first love, we were together from 18-26 and fuck we used to have fun and he's my child's father so never wanted to think of him badly but hes ruined my memories and that's a big deal. Feel like my teens and early twenties are just shit memories now. I wish I had her with someone else. | |||
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"My friend tells me that I've just got to let him do his thing and let her see how he is. I've always been the reminder like make sure she gets to this party or whatever if itvised to fall on the weekend or making sure he knew when school plays were or sports days. Basically making him look like a good father but you do that to stop your kid being hurt in the first place. I don't want her to think of her father as a dick head. I want her to think of him as someone she can rely on. I also don't like it when she comes home after a weekend with him, upset because he hasn't taking her to a swimming lesson or like a few kknrhs back when she missed a grading (because of him) the next lessons everyone was presented with their new belts and she didn't get hers. I get the tears then and the shit, I get the questions like why won't he take me mam. What am I supposed to say to that, makes my blood boil. " She'll realise what a twat her dad has been when she gets a bit older. He is only damaging his own relationship with her in the long run by these actions which she won't forget. Also as she gets a bit older she'll start to stamp more authority on what she wants to do. I guess you just have to be patient and as she gets older she'll see for herself what's been going on. | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. I would rather my daughters dad be there emotionally and physically than financially. Kids dont necessarily need material things.. they need the love, support and commitment from parents. Speaking from experience here. Absolutely.. i never asked for a penny from my nippers dad said from the start i just wanted them to bond.. turns out he couldnt do that either " Same here I pay my mortgage and bring up 3 kids financially on my own. They see their father regularly, we get on well and the set up is cool. I manage (at the moment anyway) and there are far more important things in life than money. | |||
"Youre a good mum OP. You can see that. Dont get worked up about it. He may not change so keep doing what you're doing "He won't change. He thinks all being a parent is is going to the cinema or folly farm or a day trip here and there. It's like yeah you get all the treats and the fun without putting in the graft. It's hard not to get worked up cos he's hurting me by directly upsetting our daughter. I'm gonna have a galaxy caramel now that'll sort me out! | |||
"My friend tells me that I've just got to let him do his thing and let her see how he is. I've always been the reminder like make sure she gets to this party or whatever if itvised to fall on the weekend or making sure he knew when school plays were or sports days. Basically making him look like a good father but you do that to stop your kid being hurt in the first place. I don't want her to think of her father as a dick head. I want her to think of him as someone she can rely on. I also don't like it when she comes home after a weekend with him, upset because he hasn't taking her to a swimming lesson or like a few kknrhs back when she missed a grading (because of him) the next lessons everyone was presented with their new belts and she didn't get hers. I get the tears then and the shit, I get the questions like why won't he take me mam. What am I supposed to say to that, makes my blood boil. " Can you go back to court and get the order changed so any weekends that there are prepaid classes/activities she attends you get to take her as he is refusing?? | |||
"Youre a good mum OP. You can see that. Dont get worked up about it. He may not change so keep doing what you're doing
He won't change. He thinks all being a parent is is going to the cinema or folly farm or a day trip here and there. It's like yeah you get all the treats and the fun without putting in the graft.
It's hard not to get worked up cos he's hurting me by directly upsetting our daughter.
I'm gonna have a galaxy caramel now that'll sort me out!
"Get down Eiras for a brekkie tomorrow that'll sort you out | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place. "Sorry but there is. My ex refused for years to support his own kids. In the end he had to be forced to help pay for their upbringing. Such as, child maintenance payments were taken straight out of his wages before he got his pay packet. Just like a tax etc deduction. If he tried to stop that, he would be sent to prison. This is what the CSA informed me by letter. 6 years of chances he had to willing stand up and support his own kids,kids he planned and wanted, but up to then refused to do so. Op, definitely contact CSA. As for others suggesting it's his time and shouldn't have the op telling him wear to do, well she isn't. All that I see OP doing is trying to ask her ex to support and encourage his daughter's interests..not his ex's! | |||
"Youre a good mum OP. You can see that. Dont get worked up about it. He may not change so keep doing what you're doing
He won't change. He thinks all being a parent is is going to the cinema or folly farm or a day trip here and there. It's like yeah you get all the treats and the fun without putting in the graft.
It's hard not to get worked up cos he's hurting me by directly upsetting our daughter.
I'm gonna have a galaxy caramel now that'll sort me out!
Get down Eiras for a brekkie tomorrow that'll sort you out "I know, dying to fly into a big boy! I haven't got the £215 to go to court to amend the order. He's supposed to fulfill her commitments. It's my birthday soon though, might ask for my family to buy me a court hearing for a present. | |||
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"I'm not saying right or wrong. But this is only one side of the story and it's unlikely anybody is a character witness for either side. He could be totally be a cunt, I'm guessing most of us don't actually know. Indeed. And if the OP is trying to build a reasonable situation, calling him a cunt isn't a great start. What has how she referred to him here got to do with anything?
It's got nothing to do with the Rl situation. "Well that's me told, so I guess I will leave the thread. I'm of for a ginsters pastie and a lucozade. Night night. | |||
"When you split, you got the kid. Who got the house?" We were together 9 years but split before she was born. I was living at home with my family but moved into my own place just before she was born. We've not been together since she's been born. | |||
"I'm not saying right or wrong. But this is only one side of the story and it's unlikely anybody is a character witness for either side. He could be totally be a cunt, I'm guessing most of us don't actually know. Indeed. And if the OP is trying to build a reasonable situation, calling him a cunt isn't a great start. What has how she referred to him here got to do with anything?
It's got nothing to do with the Rl situation.
Well that's me told, so I guess I will leave the thread. I'm of for a ginsters pastie and a lucozade. Night night. "That sounds like what that fat woman was eating in a swimming lesson once | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.
I gave up phoning the csa.
Got fed up with them being rude to me thinking I was the arsehole who wasn't paying.
Stupid. Sexist. Useless twats.
no idea how bad they are coz i didn't bother dealing with them unless they threatened to cut my benefits, knew he'd never have to pay a thing anyway and he didn't.
they're both too old to be paid for now and got a decent step dad who shows an interest in them so fairly happy now.
Thanks for popping in. He's a real narcissistic shit as well.
The worst thing about all this is that I never ever wanted to think of him badly. He was supposed to be my first love, we were together from 18-26 and fuck we used to have fun and he's my child's father so never wanted to think of him badly but hes ruined my memories and that's a big deal. Feel like my teens and early twenties are just shit memories now. I wish I had her with someone else. "i left you a long ass reply also, took me 30 mins or something to read your OP and process it and reply.
same, i wish i'd had my oldest two with someone better than the guy that i had them with. i was more naive then and thought my kids would be ok coz i loved them, was a bit of a shock when i found out that wasn't how it worked but it does help obviously as all kids need someone who makes them feel loved and special.
i sort of agree with your friend but not in a way where you should let her see he is an asshole, keep reminding him about events and that. but eventually she is going to work things out for herself and think he's an arsehole anyway, or at least not the dad she thought he was. and it's really not your fault, you've tried, you've been there for her, and she will also see this (others have said this and they are right).
he's already upsetting her and i don't think you can even explain to her why he is doing that coz you're not him. i think all you can do is comfort her and tell her you don't know why he is like that and only he can answer this. this isn't manipulating your child i feel, it is putting her in a spot though where she is going to question her dad, idk if that's right to do so if anyone has better advice then i'd appreciate that, but personally i would start making him more responsible, make him go through the emotional things with her then he can act on them and in turn become actually responsible for his daughter and his own actions towards her.
was your past with him actually shit, or has he made you question what you had together because of how he is now? (my first ex was shit, my 2nd ex he just let me down and i get why he did that but he did love me despite that so although he ruined something good he isn't a bad person and treated me well most of the time until near the end but he still treats his kids and step kids well and is active in doing what he wants with them and makes them happy). | |||
"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.
I gave up phoning the csa.
Got fed up with them being rude to me thinking I was the arsehole who wasn't paying.
Stupid. Sexist. Useless twats.
no idea how bad they are coz i didn't bother dealing with them unless they threatened to cut my benefits, knew he'd never have to pay a thing anyway and he didn't.
they're both too old to be paid for now and got a decent step dad who shows an interest in them so fairly happy now.
I'm glad that worked out in the end for you.
I settled down with a lady in the end.
I didn't ever claim benefits as I worked full time. I just thought my ex's ought to chip in at least a little for their daughters. They thought different. As did the csa. "thanks rachael, yeah i got very lucky with my other ex. think i deserved that after my first ex though and so did my kids.
there's so many ways around paying for kids it's unreal. but they should pay for their kids, even if it's only for things like food when they have them at theirs and if they don't have them at all then they should pay for something else. | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.
Sorry but there is. My ex refused for years to support his own kids. In the end he had to be forced to help pay for their upbringing. Such as, child maintenance payments were taken straight out of his wages before he got his pay packet. Just like a tax etc deduction. If he tried to stop that, he would be sent to prison. This is what the CSA informed me by letter. 6 years of chances he had to willing stand up and support his own kids,kids he planned and wanted, but up to then refused to do so.
Op, definitely contact CSA. As for others suggesting it's his time and shouldn't have the op telling him wear to do, well she isn't. All that I see OP doing is trying to ask her ex to support and encourage his daughter's interests..not his ex's!"nope, there's ways round it, he never was on the birth certificate for a start so there was no legal say so that he was the dad. then he was in and out of prison, moving around. you'd be surprised how easy it is to avoid paying for things. | |||
"How do you get an absolute unreasonable cunt to see past their own hatred towards you? Gonna sound all Jeremy Kyle here but I don't care and I want advice, there's an order in place between my ex and I whereby he has to have our daughter every other weekend fri to sun and every Wednesday for a couple of hours. This Saturday my daughter has a grading for kickboxing, they only do it on a Saturday every 3 months, she missed the last one because it fell on his Saturday and he wouldn't take her. Despite me paying for everything already paying the £30 for the belt. Anyway this weekend is his weekend and next weekend (my weekend) is Father's Day whereby the order says that he is to pick her up for the day (same for me with Mother's Day) I just asked him if he would swap the weekend so I can take her to kickboxing and he could have the full weekend on Father's Day weekend. He said no, I said right ok she has grading this Saturday will you take her, he says no it's his weekend, at this point my daughter (7 years old) is saying but Dad I have to do my grading. I tell her to go in the house and I go outside to his car to speak to him, he's getting in his car, I'm saying right so what's happening this weekend now and he said oh you just take her I'll pick her up after it, I said ok and Sunday will you take her to her swimming lesson (cos he never takes her to them when they fall on his weekend) then tells me that he's not doing things that I want to do all the time. It's not fucking shit that I want to do, do you think I enjoy all the money that all these classes and stuff cost, I do it because she wants to do them. He absolutely hates me, will not reason with me will not ever listen to me. How do you get a cunt to stop trying to hurt you by depriving their own child. Granny, affectionate bitch and any other psychology peoples opinions please. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to fulfill all her commitments when they fall on his weekend. I try not to let anything be on her weekend but the kickboxing grading is only on a Saturday every 3 months, also her swimming is on a Sunday because they only do lessons Tuesday and Saturday and Sunday and Tuesday she has drama and piano. I take her to all her classes, I pay for all her classes, all he has to do is take her when they fall on his weekend, it's bloody 30 mins on a Sunday and a couple of hours on a Saturday every 3 months for grading. The thought of having to deal with this till she's like what 12,13 even 16, just makes me miserable and anxious. He's been with his girlfriend for 7 years now, they aren't engaged they don't live together or nothing. Wish he would just have a child with her so he has something else to concentrate on other than being an unreasonable wanker. He also doesn't pay a penny in maintenance. I've told my daughter that she has to stick up for herself and if she wants to do these things she has to ask him herself which she does. Weekend before last she came home upset on the Sunday because daddy wouldn't take her to her swimming lesson. Now that's just sick to me, he won't even acknowledge his own child's wishes and thinks that the time she spends with him is so special and superior to any other activity. He's actually said to me in the past that spending time with him is more beneficial than any of her classses. " He sounds a proper arse. | |||
"He sounds like a lazy bastard to me. You're not being unreasonable at all and he should most definitely be taking his daughter to these things because it's something she wants to do and enjoys. She's going to really hate him when she's older. Try not to let him upset you, I bet he loves that x" This. He is being very selfish and childish and your daughter is the loser all round. Cut back his time withher so she can do her classes or find a way to make him take her. What a prick. | |||
"shes his daughter - caring for her isnt like just doing babysitting duties - its allowing her to carry on with her life the same with one or the other of you - if she has a grading and with him he should take her - " That's what I mean, it should be her same routine whether she's with me or with him. I mean if he was taking her away somewhere then obviously missing a swimming lesson here or there wouldn't matter. Like 2013 he took her to Peppa pig world, 2014 he took her to CBeebies world in Alton towers and stayed in the hotel, 2015 he took her to the Eden project in Cornwall and stayed the weekend, 2016 he took her to lego land and stayed in the hotel overnight. That's aside from the local days out he takes her to. That's kind of the problem as well, he doesn't give any maintenance yet takes her to all these places and I think well I'd like to take her to Alton towers and stay in the hotel but I pay for all these classes and food and clothes and what not, yeah I took her abroad last year but sometimes I feel a bit pissed off that he doesn't pay for any contribution to her life but takes her to all these fun places. But then I suppose I should just think she's lucky she gets all the classes with me and then these fun places with her dad. Just wish he would know there's more to parenting than days out. | |||
"How do you get an absolute unreasonable cunt to see past their own hatred towards you? Gonna sound all Jeremy Kyle here but I don't care and I want advice, there's an order in place between my ex and I whereby he has to have our daughter every other weekend fri to sun and every Wednesday for a couple of hours. This Saturday my daughter has a grading for kickboxing, they only do it on a Saturday every 3 months, she missed the last one because it fell on his Saturday and he wouldn't take her. Despite me paying for everything already paying the £30 for the belt. Anyway this weekend is his weekend and next weekend (my weekend) is Father's Day whereby the order says that he is to pick her up for the day (same for me with Mother's Day) I just asked him if he would swap the weekend so I can take her to kickboxing and he could have the full weekend on Father's Day weekend. He said no, I said right ok she has grading this Saturday will you take her, he says no it's his weekend, at this point my daughter (7 years old) is saying but Dad I have to do my grading. I tell her to go in the house and I go outside to his car to speak to him, he's getting in his car, I'm saying right so what's happening this weekend now and he said oh you just take her I'll pick her up after it, I said ok and Sunday will you take her to her swimming lesson (cos he never takes her to them when they fall on his weekend) then tells me that he's not doing things that I want to do all the time. It's not fucking shit that I want to do, do you think I enjoy all the money that all these classes and stuff cost, I do it because she wants to do them. He absolutely hates me, will not reason with me will not ever listen to me. How do you get a cunt to stop trying to hurt you by depriving their own child. Granny, affectionate bitch and any other psychology peoples opinions please. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to fulfill all her commitments when they fall on his weekend. I try not to let anything be on her weekend but the kickboxing grading is only on a Saturday every 3 months, also her swimming is on a Sunday because they only do lessons Tuesday and Saturday and Sunday and Tuesday she has drama and piano. I take her to all her classes, I pay for all her classes, all he has to do is take her when they fall on his weekend, it's bloody 30 mins on a Sunday and a couple of hours on a Saturday every 3 months for grading. The thought of having to deal with this till she's like what 12,13 even 16, just makes me miserable and anxious. He's been with his girlfriend for 7 years now, they aren't engaged they don't live together or nothing. Wish he would just have a child with her so he has something else to concentrate on other than being an unreasonable wanker. He also doesn't pay a penny in maintenance. I've told my daughter that she has to stick up for herself and if she wants to do these things she has to ask him herself which she does. Weekend before last she came home upset on the Sunday because daddy wouldn't take her to her swimming lesson. Now that's just sick to me, he won't even acknowledge his own child's wishes and thinks that the time she spends with him is so special and superior to any other activity. He's actually said to me in the past that spending time with him is more beneficial than any of her classses. " Based on your commentary he sounds an arse. There are always two sides though I suppose. However, your daughter is 7 - so why are you telling her to stand up for herself...shes 7, she shouldn't have to. | |||
" was your past with him actually shit, or has he made you question what you had together because of how he is now? " We were each other's first loves (or so I thought) Was mainly sexual and messing around, we had our partying years then our years when we got proper jobs and would see each other every weekend and through the week for years and years, just doing stuff that everybody does, holidays, restaurants, shopping, cinema and a whole lot of shagging. Was how he's been the last year and in the statements for the court that he'd written about me and how he described our relationship like it was nothing, like basically said we were only together 9 years cos of the sex! Was really hurtful, to read it's like well he could've had sex with anyone. I thought we were in love, our daughter was conceived with someone I was in love with at the time. | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.
Sorry but there is. My ex refused for years to support his own kids. In the end he had to be forced to help pay for their upbringing. Such as, child maintenance payments were taken straight out of his wages before he got his pay packet. Just like a tax etc deduction. If he tried to stop that, he would be sent to prison. This is what the CSA informed me by letter. 6 years of chances he had to willing stand up and support his own kids,kids he planned and wanted, but up to then refused to do so.
Op, definitely contact CSA. As for others suggesting it's his time and shouldn't have the op telling him wear to do, well she isn't. All that I see OP doing is trying to ask her ex to support and encourage his daughter's interests..not his ex's!
nope, there's ways round it, he never was on the birth certificate for a start so there was no legal say so that he was the dad.
then he was in and out of prison, moving around. you'd be surprised how easy it is to avoid paying for things."Not being on the birth certificate means nothing. If you claim a man to be the father of your child. It's up to him to perform a DNA test to prove he isn't. My cousin has gone thru this. | |||
" was your past with him actually shit, or has he made you question what you had together because of how he is now? We were each other's first loves (or so I thought) Was mainly sexual and messing around, we had our partying years then our years when we got proper jobs and would see each other every weekend and through the week for years and years, just doing stuff that everybody does, holidays, restaurants, shopping, cinema and a whole lot of shagging. Was how he's been the last year and in the statements for the court that he'd written about me and how he described our relationship like it was nothing, like basically said we were only together 9 years cos of the sex! Was really hurtful, to read it's like well he could've had sex with anyone. I thought we were in love, our daughter was conceived with someone I was in love with at the time. " i can see how that would be hurtful, and if he is a narcissist then it probably is true. they do tend to have relationships to look normal rather than have them for love. i think it's time to look up on how to co-parent despite the narcissist, rather than try to co-parent with one as the latter is not possible. although he did back down on the grading thing so that is interesting. | |||
"I'd see if you can get any order amended so it stipulates that he has to take her to swimming lessons or anything else she does, i.e. grading." This I would legal advise based on the disruption tof your daughters routine. You're not being unreasonable with your request to facilitate her activities. I'd guess based on threat alone he may become more compliant. Good luck I can only imagine how hard this must be for both you and your daughter  | |||
" Based on your commentary he sounds an arse. There are always two sides though I suppose. However, your daughter is 7 - so why are you telling her to stand up for herself...shes 7, she shouldn't have to." I tell her that if she wants to do anything that falls on the weekend that she's with him then she needs to ask him herself. She shouldn't have to no because she is only 7 but he will not listen to me when I ask him to take her to something. He said earlier AGAIN "I'm not doing things you want to do" he doesn't understand that I'm not arsed if she does the classes or not, would save me money if she didn't want to do them all but she does, and I get the tears and the shit when he doesn't take her. If she ask him herself then there's more chance he will take her because he absolutely will not listen to me. | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. there's no law that forces a guy to pay for his kids. my oldest 2 kids have not had a single penny off their dad, made me laugh around my oldests 17th birthday when i got a letter of the CSA saying my ex didn't have to pay anything for his son when he turned 17, like i'd ever had anything in the first place.
Sorry but there is. My ex refused for years to support his own kids. In the end he had to be forced to help pay for their upbringing. Such as, child maintenance payments were taken straight out of his wages before he got his pay packet. Just like a tax etc deduction. If he tried to stop that, he would be sent to prison. This is what the CSA informed me by letter. 6 years of chances he had to willing stand up and support his own kids,kids he planned and wanted, but up to then refused to do so.
Op, definitely contact CSA. As for others suggesting it's his time and shouldn't have the op telling him wear to do, well she isn't. All that I see OP doing is trying to ask her ex to support and encourage his daughter's interests..not his ex's!
nope, there's ways round it, he never was on the birth certificate for a start so there was no legal say so that he was the dad.
then he was in and out of prison, moving around. you'd be surprised how easy it is to avoid paying for things.
Not being on the birth certificate means nothing. If you claim a man to be the father of your child. It's up to him to perform a DNA test to prove he isn't. My cousin has gone thru this. "well me and my kids are living proof the CSA couldn't be arsed to make him do that. and i didn't care less, he was abusive so i was happy for him to fuck off forever personally. but no there is no law that says the NRP have to pay for their kid, if there was then he'd have been breaking it. | |||
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"Been in your shoes!! Oh my. Whatever you do, don't stop him seeing her! Just keep being the bigger person. Do whatever is in your power to do the right thing. My daughter is now 16 and sees her father for what he is. Just always do what is right for your child in your power. If he can't do the same it will come back to haunt him. Good luck x" | |||
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"Admin don't like people copying a whole article onto the forum. If you can't put the link into the forum PM it to the person please" PM me tomorrow if you want the link Empress, i'll send it when you're online. it pretty much confirmed everything you're doing now is the best way to go but had a bit of extra info on changing a few things. | |||
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"As there's a court order already I'm sure you know too well that the main objective and repeated sentence throughout court is ' the child's best interests are paramount '. The op seems to have a wide variety of clubs her child goes to and has for numerous years. Which is beneficial for her child's social and physical wellbeing. Her child obviously enjoys these lessons and as a parent it can be a ball ache fitting classes in remembering what's when and paying so this shouldn't be a negative for the op it's a good thing. The people who are saying he shouldn't have to do what the op wants on his weekends, what aren't you getting? It's what the child wants to do and the op is informing the father of what and where she's supposed to be. If he can't take a few hours out of his weekend to take his daughter to her social activities shame on him. Shouldn't he want to see her and how well she's doing most absent dads would love the chance to see their child doing something they are good at and enjoy and to be part of it. The karate grading is a one off it's pathetic he won't take her, the child has obviously worked hard to get a belt and should be allowed to get the gratification from receiving it. And all the comments suggesting they'd rather their kids dad just see their kids, your missing the point this father has a court order for visits, he has every other weekend and a weekday so he is seeing her regularly so therefore should adapt his time for his daughters activities. It's not the op dictating dos and donts just informing of their daughters schedule. Which is in the best interest of the child to have as little disruption to her normal routine. The op shouldn't have to comfort her child when she returns cause the dad didn't take her to her normal routine activities, but being a mum you do and it's horrible when your child's upset and you have to make excuses for someone else's shitty attitude. The good thing is that at least she knows she can come to you op and cry as she knows she can trust you, it's more worrying when they don't and keep their emotions in. And like someone said previously he isn't just baby sitting when he has her he should be parenting whether that be treats, holidays or dealing with naughtiness. The money situation, again I think you should contact csa, he may pay for her when he has her but the rest of the time the responsibility shouldn't always fall on you. Financially his obligations don't stop when he drops her off they carry on throughout her life. And it's not all about the money and blah blah I would rather my kids saw their dad than money. This is a totally different senecio he is seeing his daughter regularly and he is spending time with her so it's not unreasonable to expect her to be financially supported too. I mean I'm assuming the op feeds and clothes her pays for transport her hobbies her school uniforms each year that aren't cheap gas and electric etc. And instead of you going to court to amend the order and pay, if you took her to her grading and informed your ex your taking her he's free to come and watch and then take her or he doesn't have her that weekend. If he really doesn't like it let him be the one to take you back to court and then he pays the fees. It's not ideal but it saves you the cost. Also your child could have a calendar that she designs herself with her favourite things on including the days of all her hobbies and then ring the ones that fall on his weekends and make sure she has her swim kit with her in the hope that a visual aid might make him realise it's important to your daughter. But it's hard hats off to you. "My god, you got every single point I try and make! Got a bit upset reading that if I'm honest because it's exactly how I feel and how I try and explain things. He says that he shouldn't have to do what I want on the weekends that he has her, what I want!! Like he's having to make me swimming for Christ sake. Even a couple of months back when we were staying at my mums whilst I was in between moving, all of our stuff was in storage which includes everything that was inside our kitchen cupboards which included lunch boxes and things like that. It was February and my daughter was dinners in school (like she is in the colder months) anyway she had a school trip on the Thursday and straight from school on the Wednesday we quickly went shopping for stuff for her packed lunch. Came back to my mums to wait for him to pick her up and just before he got there I thought shit, don't have her lunchbox stuff. Now when he picks her up on a Wednesday they go for food somewhere, usually in a huge shopping complex where there's loads of stores. I said to my daughter when you're out ask Daddy to buy you a lunchbox for your trip she said ok. She came back and I said where's your lunchbox she said she asked him and he said tell Mammy to buy it for you! Makes me angry then for even thinking of asking him in the first place, I'd already paid the £10 for the trip already spent about that on stuff for the packed lunch what with fruit and everything but no he said ask Mammy to buy you one. Made me feel like a scrubber, it was more a case of convenience if my sister or mother had been heading out to a shopping centre I would've said to them can you pick up a lunchbox for her. I wish then that I'd given my daughter some money to buy one herself. That's just one of many things like that and it's also why I don't like to ask him anything, I know someone said I shouldn't expect my daughter at age 7 to ask him things but the feeling I get when he says no to things I wish I'd not asked in the first place. That's why I tell her that she should ask him things herself. When I find out that she's asked him and he's not done it like the swimming lessons and she comes home upset, it's horrible. | |||
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"Yeah not paying maintenance what's that all about.? She's his daughter too and needs to provide for her it's the law. I would rather my daughters dad be there emotionally and physically than financially. Kids dont necessarily need material things.. they need the love, support and commitment from parents. Speaking from experience here." This is far more important, from a mother who has two children, whos father died when they were young. Time, love and support matters most and is essential. Leisure activities are second. | |||
It just sounds like he only wants to do the fun stuff that he can do too like Alton towers etc, which is great but then there has to be a balance with her normal activities. I wondered if he takes his new gf with him on his weekends too? Which I get as they are together etc, but if she cant handle the mundane stuff that parents do well that's selfish, but I don't know about that side.
And I always found it sad when I'd take my kids to play centres at the weekends or the cinema (cause it's cheaper for early mornings)and FYI at the time I was a single mum with 2 kids who don't see their father and it was just the three of us and I did join in, the majority would be dads on there own with their kids. At the play centres you'd see them sitting on their phones or with papers and hear them say to the kids 'you'll be going back to your mums soon' when all the kids want is them to go on the slide with them or trampolines. I understand that not all absent parents do this before anyone slates me it's just my observation. And it's great if their being hands on while there doing these things but if it's just to kill time or try to impress new partners it's ashame. And kids will remember the time they went and played on their own while dad was on his phone etc. They will remember the times that something was important to them (the child) but didn't get to go or join in.
They call it co parenting for a reason so if it arises that she needs something last minute on his days he should want to help it's not like your asking him to get some shoes for you to go out. It's for his daughter. And who doesn't like lunch box shopping there's so many different ones now and even now my daughter and I like looking at them and she doesn't even need one, but the fun and bonding is looking at them and your daughter feeling special about the one she picked. It's surprising what kids remember, all the big holidays or expensive gifts don't seem to stick in a child's memory, yet the times they were made to laugh over jokes about a minion lunch box or singing in the car to songs or seeing a picture of when it was grading and her dad was there.
It sounds cold and silly, but always keep a separate diary like an actual paper one, and then write in it days he missed, times your daughter was upset or when important things hobbies wishes for her weren't followed through. Yes some may say it's sad, but that I'm afraid is the court system they want proof of negatives as well as positives.
I know people also have opinions on 'you do realise your daughter can sense the tension and hostility' babies can feel emotions in the womb but that doesn't mean you have to be a robot and show no emotions. Yeah don't slag him off or say negative things about him around her cause the chances are they will remember and end up telling the other parent mummy said your stupid or worse, so to send her inside while you talk to him slightly heated or not there's nothing wrong with that. Children need to experience all emotions to know it's ok to feel them and that it's not just them but importantly that they have someone they can trust to get comfort from if they don't know how to deal with emotions. And I'm not saying have arguments in front of her etc before that gets thrown my way. But even kids tv programmes now deal with emotions good or bad, cause kids need to express them and know it's alright to feel them and then how to deal with them and be reassured. This is why there's still an issue with boys as they grow up and don't get upset or cry (yes girls do too, but it's still the majority of males) I'd hate to think my son thinks he can't cry in front of me and isn't getting the comfort we all need when we are upset. Think of all the films or programmes aimed at kids and the range of emotions they show yes in a child friendly way but that's what it takes. God Petes dragon: his parents die in the first ten minutes, Up: they fall in love can't have a baby need money and she dies in the first 15 mins, the boy has a dad who he doesn't see, Zootropolis: the bunny gets picked on and made to feel different. I could go on. But I'm sure you get it!  . It's about empowering children they have rights too even from 4 years old at nursery they get taught to use your voice if another child hits you or hurts you and tell them it makes you sad and too stop. Is that wrong? A child's voice matters. The end. | |||
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"I would have thought as your child wants to keep doing the activities that he would do what your child wanted. If she didn't want to do them when she is with her dad I would say thats fine also." My mistake is treating him like a normal human being and expecting him to understand things but I can't stress enough how much he hates me and thinks everything is an angenda. Like he always says "I'm not doing the things you want to do" it's not me wanting to do things it's my daughter! Absolute knob jockey. | |||
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"I would have thought as your child wants to keep doing the activities that he would do what your child wanted. If she didn't want to do them when she is with her dad I would say thats fine also. My mistake is treating him like a normal human being and expecting him to understand things but I can't stress enough how much he hates me and thinks everything is an angenda. Like he always says "I'm not doing the things you want to do" it's not me wanting to do things it's my daughter! Absolute knob jockey. " Going by your other post you don't communicate much with him, I know this sounds old fashioned, but maybe try writing him a letter/ E-mail rather than face to face and write down how you feel about how you are both dealing with the situation and how if you work together it can only be a positive for the child you have together. ( I am going to say both as it could be because of the situation you are not being too friendly when you do see him ) Sometimes when you are calm and not in a stressful situation you will take things in better, so reading it in black and white might help. | |||
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"Need to look at this from another angle, not you asking but your kid. He's putting a fence up that you will. It break at the moment Or you could offer him a bj you are fit as fuck lol" If I had his cock in my mouth I would bite it off from the base and beat him round the face with it. | |||
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"I cant comment as this gets me so fucking angry! " Makes me angry too, in what way are you angry? | |||
"I cant comment as this gets me so fucking angry! " You just did | |||
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"What happened with this? Did she get to her grading? Xx" Yeah I kept her home and took her myself, he picked her up after it but didn't take her to her swimming lesson on the Sunday! | |||
"What happened with this? Did she get to her grading? Xx Yeah I kept her home and took her myself, he picked her up after it but didn't take her to her swimming lesson on the Sunday! " What. A. Waster. Hope she did well xx | |||
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"What happened with this? Did she get to her grading? Xx Yeah I kept her home and took her myself, he picked her up after it but didn't take her to her swimming lesson on the Sunday! What. A. Waster. Hope she did well xx" Yeah she got her belt. Just have to do it all again in another 3 months! | |||
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"What happened with this? Did she get to her grading? Xx Yeah I kept her home and took her myself, he picked her up after it but didn't take her to her swimming lesson on the Sunday! What. A. Waster. Hope she did well xx Yeah she got her belt. Just have to do it all again in another 3 months! " Well done to her. | |||
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"Stop him from seeing her. and the daughter suffers I doubt it " Actually, it's better for the daughter to be exposed to his selfish and twatty behaviour. Let her make her own mind up about him. That way he knows he only had himself to blame. She'll get to an age when she has a choice of seeing him, and she'll not want to go. His loss. If you stop the kid seeing her father, she'll ask why and blame the mother for making it unpainted to have a relationship with him. He wins and the mother / daughter lose out. | |||
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"Actually, it's better for the daughter to be exposed to his selfish and twatty behaviour. Let her make her own mind up about him. That way he knows he only had himself to blame. She'll get to an age when she has a choice of seeing him, and she'll not want to go. His loss. If you stop the kid seeing her father, she'll ask why and blame the mother for making it unpainted to have a relationship with him. He wins and the mother / daughter lose out. " Exactly. If you have any fragments of him lying around your home; hair, skin particles, unpleasant and hard to get out stains, get in touch. I have genuine Voodoo Dolls. Dr Nasty Because. | |||
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