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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek

Oh I do love those words, cheer me right up they do.

Do you have any embrassing or painful stories about your man wang?

Share them here, we won't judge. Take the piss.... but not judge

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Like most guys on here mines a bit of a handful .....

PS That's not a reference to its size

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Like most guys on here mines a bit of a handful .....

PS That's not a reference to its size "

I have diddy hands.

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden

[Removed by poster at 07/06/17 11:08:36]

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"[Removed by poster at 07/06/17 11:08:36]"

When was your procedure?

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden

I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again."

Aye carumba

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden


"[Removed by poster at 07/06/17 11:08:36]

When was your procedure?"

No precedure requi_ed thankfully

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By *iss.HoneyWoman  over a year ago

...

I kinda broke someones man wang

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By *emini ManMan  over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

OK I'll be brave!!

Many years ago in my late teens/early twenties I was walking my then girlfriend home when lets just say passion got the better of us down a dark alleyway - unfortunately her brand new jeans weren't pulled down far enough and I ended up slicing just below the head of my manhood on the zip!!

First I knew of it was when I looked down at my faded jeans to see them cove_ed in blood!!

Worst of it was I was staying at a mates and had to walk back in and explain I'd cut my hand on some barbed wire!!

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden


"I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again.

Aye carumba "

Yas! I was young and foolish. You live and you learn.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had an embarrassing wang exposure once. I'll set the scene.

I was staying in a posh hotel with my then gf, for her brothers wedding. So lots of relatives and friends in attendance. The wedding went off beautifully, breakfast and speeches were all enjoyed, and the reception was a rip roaring evening of typical Armed Forces levels of drinking. My mistake was trying to keep up.

So, after retiring to our room for sleep, I'd been snoozing for maybe an hour or so when the urge to pee came. In my d*unken state I did what I usually do, get out of bed, turn left and through the door......trouble was that this door led me out into the hotel corridor. I sleep nude btw. I heard the click of doom that meant I had to practically kick the door to wake the other half............and most of the rooms occupants along the corridor who all pee_ed out to see what the fuss was about.

DOH!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again."

I had a friend who did the same thing, although he broke it on....entry

Lesson learned...always use lube

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By *ikstupp2Man  over a year ago

london

I done the same thing, bleeds like a bastard don't it?! Thought I'd done it again last week but it was my Mrs nails slicing my bellend

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I kinda broke someones man wang "

Ooooo you didn't bite it off did ya?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I had an embarrassing wang exposure once. I'll set the scene.

I was staying in a posh hotel with my then gf, for her brothers wedding. So lots of relatives and friends in attendance. The wedding went off beautifully, breakfast and speeches were all enjoyed, and the reception was a rip roaring evening of typical Armed Forces levels of drinking. My mistake was trying to keep up.

So, after retiring to our room for sleep, I'd been snoozing for maybe an hour or so when the urge to pee came. In my d*unken state I did what I usually do, get out of bed, turn left and through the door......trouble was that this door led me out into the hotel corridor. I sleep nude btw. I heard the click of doom that meant I had to practically kick the door to wake the other half............and most of the rooms occupants along the corridor who all pee_ed out to see what the fuss was about.

DOH!!"

Eeek! But did they get it on video?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman  over a year ago

...


"I kinda broke someones man wang

Ooooo you didn't bite it off did ya?"

. No he was too erm...frantic?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again.

I had a friend who did the same thing, although he broke it on....entry

Lesson learned...always use lube "

The man wang saviour

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I done the same thing, bleeds like a bastard don't it?! Thought I'd done it again last week but it was my Mrs nails slicing my bellend "

Get her to cut those crazy claws!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I had an embarrassing wang exposure once. I'll set the scene.

I was staying in a posh hotel with my then gf, for her brothers wedding. So lots of relatives and friends in attendance. The wedding went off beautifully, breakfast and speeches were all enjoyed, and the reception was a rip roaring evening of typical Armed Forces levels of drinking. My mistake was trying to keep up.

So, after retiring to our room for sleep, I'd been snoozing for maybe an hour or so when the urge to pee came. In my d*unken state I did what I usually do, get out of bed, turn left and through the door......trouble was that this door led me out into the hotel corridor. I sleep nude btw. I heard the click of doom that meant I had to practically kick the door to wake the other half............and most of the rooms occupants along the corridor who all pee_ed out to see what the fuss was about.

DOH!!

Eeek! But did they get it on video?"

The last thing I was concerned with was what cameras were pointing my way. I was trying not to pee in the corridor

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I kinda broke someones man wang

Ooooo you didn't bite it off did ya?

. No he was too erm...frantic? "

Like a Duracell bunny on heat!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I had an embarrassing wang exposure once. I'll set the scene.

I was staying in a posh hotel with my then gf, for her brothers wedding. So lots of relatives and friends in attendance. The wedding went off beautifully, breakfast and speeches were all enjoyed, and the reception was a rip roaring evening of typical Armed Forces levels of drinking. My mistake was trying to keep up.

So, after retiring to our room for sleep, I'd been snoozing for maybe an hour or so when the urge to pee came. In my d*unken state I did what I usually do, get out of bed, turn left and through the door......trouble was that this door led me out into the hotel corridor. I sleep nude btw. I heard the click of doom that meant I had to practically kick the door to wake the other half............and most of the rooms occupants along the corridor who all pee_ed out to see what the fuss was about.

DOH!!

Eeek! But did they get it on video?

The last thing I was concerned with was what cameras were pointing my way. I was trying not to pee in the corridor "

You coulda shouted "FIRE" and helicopter sprayed them all

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By *unky monkeyMan  over a year ago

in the night garden


"I done the same thing, bleeds like a bastard don't it?! Thought I'd done it again last week but it was my Mrs nails slicing my bellend "

Yes the ratio of blood to size of cut is all wrong.

It's like all your 'boner blood' wants to leave all at once. I thought my cock had fallen off at first! Yet it was only like a tiny few millimetre nick.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again.

I had a friend who did the same thing, although he broke it on....entry

Lesson learned...always use lube

The man wang saviour"

Can I get a cape...and a theme tune

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yeah, when I was about 14 I went through a stage of not wearing any underwear, one day I got my little man mangled in the natal zip of my jeans, very painful, I've stil gitvthe scar to prove it

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Yeah, when I was about 14 I went through a stage of not wearing any underwear, one day I got my little man mangled in the natal zip of my jeans, very painful, I've stil gitvthe scar to prove it "

Cool talking point tho! Just tell people you got the scar whilst protecting a group of young ladies from a bear attack, your man wang saved the day.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Motor cycle crash a few years back where my groin smashed into the petrol tank ...... my boys took a beating, both of the swollen up to the size coconuts! My mates have a pic where they are posing with my swollen nut sack. And no, the sexy nurses wouldn't rub them better for me

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option "

Tart

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I done the same thing, bleeds like a bastard don't it?! Thought I'd done it again last week but it was my Mrs nails slicing my bellend

Yes the ratio of blood to size of cut is all wrong.

It's like all your 'boner blood' wants to leave all at once. I thought my cock had fallen off at first! Yet it was only like a tiny few millimetre nick."

Like a sea of lava.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again.

I had a friend who did the same thing, although he broke it on....entry

Lesson learned...always use lube

The man wang saviour

Can I get a cape...and a theme tune "

But only if you roam the streets handing out free lube

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Eeek! But did they get it on video?

The last thing I was concerned with was what cameras were pointing my way. I was trying not to pee in the corridor

You coulda shouted "FIRE" and helicopter sprayed them all "

I could have styled it out. Arms stretched wide and go spinning down the corridor while shouting.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"

Eeek! But did they get it on video?

The last thing I was concerned with was what cameras were pointing my way. I was trying not to pee in the corridor

You coulda shouted "FIRE" and helicopter sprayed them all

I could have styled it out. Arms stretched wide and go spinning down the corridor while shouting. "

Now you know for next time!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option

Tart "

You should try it before you judge....same as man flu, it's something a woman will never experience haha

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By *ikstupp2Man  over a year ago

london


"I done the same thing, bleeds like a bastard don't it?! Thought I'd done it again last week but it was my Mrs nails slicing my bellend

Get her to cut those crazy claws!"

i did, had to stem the bleeding with a panty liner, kinda killed the mood lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Eeek! But did they get it on video?

The last thing I was concerned with was what cameras were pointing my way. I was trying not to pee in the corridor

You coulda shouted "FIRE" and helicopter sprayed them all

I could have styled it out. Arms stretched wide and go spinning down the corridor while shouting.

Now you know for next time!"

It's been a looooooong time since I was THAT pissed.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option

Tart

You should try it before you judge....same as man flu, it's something a woman will never experience haha"

Saying nowt about man flu.

I may go commando now and then, I would say when feeling saucy, but it's normally simple laziness

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again.

I had a friend who did the same thing, although he broke it on....entry

Lesson learned...always use lube

The man wang saviour

Can I get a cape...and a theme tune

But only if you roam the streets handing out free lube"

Not much different from my day job tbh

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I once partially tore my banjo string whilst over figourously pentrating my friend's bottom. She had requested no lube. Never. Ever. Again.

I had a friend who did the same thing, although he broke it on....entry

Lesson learned...always use lube

The man wang saviour

Can I get a cape...and a theme tune

But only if you roam the streets handing out free lube

Not much different from my day job tbh "

You're hi_ed!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option

Tart

You should try it before you judge....same as man flu, it's something a woman will never experience haha

Saying nowt about man flu.

I may go commando now and then, I would say when feeling saucy, but it's normally simple laziness "

Man flus a killer....don't understand why Bob Geldof hasn't done a benefit concert for it ....I go commando cos it's more comfortable in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Only in my youth. At school after a pee I caught my foreskin in my zip and got taken, very gingerly, to A&E. Expecting utmost care and tenderness, the highly amused doctor simply grabbed both sides of the zip and ripped it apart

Another time, on holiday in France, I inadvertently pissed on an electric fence

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ermm so after my wank ban...I kind of had a friction burn on my penis...

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Only in my youth. At school after a pee I caught my foreskin in my zip and got taken, very gingerly, to A&E. Expecting utmost care and tenderness, the highly amused doctor simply grabbed both sides of the zip and ripped it apart

Another time, on holiday in France, I inadvertently pissed on an electric fence "

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Ermm so after my wank ban...I kind of had a friction burn on my penis... "

I friction burned my foof too. I feel your pain.

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By *edMan  over a year ago

cambridgeshire


"I kinda broke someones man wang "

Kinda? Not kinda at alla

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ermm so after my wank ban...I kind of had a friction burn on my penis...

I friction burned my foof too. I feel your pain."

If you friction burn your foof again I'll come kiss it better

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Ermm so after my wank ban...I kind of had a friction burn on my penis...

I friction burned my foof too. I feel your pain.

If you friction burn your foof again I'll come kiss it better "

How caring of you

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By *iss.HoneyWoman  over a year ago

...


"I kinda broke someones man wang

Ooooo you didn't bite it off did ya?

. No he was too erm...frantic?

Like a Duracell bunny on heat!"

Aye. Next day he said it hurt when we got aroused

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I kinda broke someones man wang

Ooooo you didn't bite it off did ya?

. No he was too erm...frantic?

Like a Duracell bunny on heat!

Aye. Next day he said it hurt when we got aroused "

Oh I am giggling!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ermm so after my wank ban...I kind of had a friction burn on my penis...

I friction burned my foof too. I feel your pain.

If you friction burn your foof again I'll come kiss it better

How caring of you"

I'm like that....it's just the way I roll

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By *edMan  over a year ago

cambridgeshire


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option "

On a beach on the south coast, zipped up the jeans shorts after a swim having used the underpants as trunks I was going to go home commando. Got the foreskin stuck in the zip.. I might have been able to wince through the pain, but mates will never let something like that go away quietly. Most people on the beach knew thanks to the guys broadcasting it while hooting with laughter.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I kinda broke someones man wang

Ooooo you didn't bite it off did ya?

. No he was too erm...frantic?

Like a Duracell bunny on heat!

Aye. Next day he said it hurt when we got aroused "

It's only a muscle. It can get batte_ed and bruised and strained, if you're lucky..

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option

On a beach on the south coast, zipped up the jeans shorts after a swim having used the underpants as trunks I was going to go home commando. Got the foreskin stuck in the zip.. I might have been able to wince through the pain, but mates will never let something like that go away quietly. Most people on the beach knew thanks to the guys broadcasting it while hooting with laughter."

This seems to be a common injury. Is it just a case of not really taking any notice what you're doing?

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By *edMan  over a year ago

cambridgeshire


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option

On a beach on the south coast, zipped up the jeans shorts after a swim having used the underpants as trunks I was going to go home commando. Got the foreskin stuck in the zip.. I might have been able to wince through the pain, but mates will never let something like that go away quietly. Most people on the beach knew thanks to the guys broadcasting it while hooting with laughter.

This seems to be a common injury. Is it just a case of not really taking any notice what you're doing? "

Much as I'd like to claim there just isn't shorts with enough room to hold it all, your deduction is actually correct

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option

On a beach on the south coast, zipped up the jeans shorts after a swim having used the underpants as trunks I was going to go home commando. Got the foreskin stuck in the zip.. I might have been able to wince through the pain, but mates will never let something like that go away quietly. Most people on the beach knew thanks to the guys broadcasting it while hooting with laughter.

This seems to be a common injury. Is it just a case of not really taking any notice what you're doing?

Much as I'd like to claim there just isn't shorts with enough room to hold it all, your deduction is actually correct"

Then for crying out loud chaps! Look out for your man wang - you're his guardian!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman  over a year ago

...


"I kinda broke someones man wang

Ooooo you didn't bite it off did ya?

. No he was too erm...frantic?

Like a Duracell bunny on heat!

Aye. Next day he said it hurt when we got aroused

Oh I am giggling!"

He got revenge when I couldn't sit down for lunch

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I kinda broke someones man wang

Ooooo you didn't bite it off did ya?

. No he was too erm...frantic?

Like a Duracell bunny on heat!

Aye. Next day he said it hurt when we got aroused

Oh I am giggling!

He got revenge when I couldn't sit down for lunch "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Like most men I presume at some stage have caught their wang in the zip....but as I prefer commando style nowadays I tend to choose the button up option

On a beach on the south coast, zipped up the jeans shorts after a swim having used the underpants as trunks I was going to go home commando. Got the foreskin stuck in the zip.. I might have been able to wince through the pain, but mates will never let something like that go away quietly. Most people on the beach knew thanks to the guys broadcasting it while hooting with laughter.

This seems to be a common injury. Is it just a case of not really taking any notice what you're doing?

Much as I'd like to claim there just isn't shorts with enough room to hold it all, your deduction is actually correct

Then for crying out loud chaps! Look out for your man wang - you're his guardian!"

It's like anything you do lots, it becomes instinct, and occasionally there's a mishap

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Marc burned his dick on the stove once. We just finished an impromptu sex session while dinner was cooking and he ran over to shut off the oven and....sizzle! Burned dick. Still has a small scar from it

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Marc burned his dick on the stove once. We just finished an impromptu sex session while dinner was cooking and he ran over to shut off the oven and....sizzle! Burned dick. Still has a small scar from it "

That's amazing

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By *obwithkiltMan  over a year ago

Belton

It was on my first holiday abroad to Greece with my ex-wife (gf at the time).

The weather was super hot, sleeping was done naked on top of the sheets occasionally... We had just finished a lovely afternoon session and had a little nap... Where I was rudely awoken by my best friend being slapped repeatedly!!!

After loud exclamations I looked downwards and saw that it had started to swell in places at the head... Where I had been attacked by mosquitoes

It was sore for an hour or two but having cream administe_ed by other half afterwards had a great side effect and "I'm not wasting that" was usually said

Only real downside was my ex father in law finding out and had great delight in telling people about me getting a blow job from a mozzie!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've also burned it whilst ironing my work uniform naked, it left a 2inch burn across my todger but thankfully that one didn't leave a scar

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Btw, my cocks out on my avatar for another thread, soz

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Marc burned his dick on the stove once. We just finished an impromptu sex session while dinner was cooking and he ran over to shut off the oven and....sizzle! Burned dick. Still has a small scar from it "

'Sizzle'

I won't actually be able to take him seriously on Saturday now. Thank you!

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.

Not my wang but I did cut a vein on my scrotum and It's left me with a permanent mark,

If I had the balls (pun not intended) I would have some cosmetic surgery to sort it out as Its put me off having them played with and I used to have pretty little balls as well.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"It was on my first holiday abroad to Greece with my ex-wife (gf at the time).

The weather was super hot, sleeping was done naked on top of the sheets occasionally... We had just finished a lovely afternoon session and had a little nap... Where I was rudely awoken by my best friend being slapped repeatedly!!!

After loud exclamations I looked downwards and saw that it had started to swell in places at the head... Where I had been attacked by mosquitoes

It was sore for an hour or two but having cream administe_ed by other half afterwards had a great side effect and "I'm not wasting that" was usually said

Only real downside was my ex father in law finding out and had great delight in telling people about me getting a blow job from a mozzie! "

Fuck that! I'm proper allergic to mozzie bites

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I've also burned it whilst ironing my work uniform naked, it left a 2inch burn across my todger but thankfully that one didn't leave a scar "

2 inches? Really?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Not my wang but I did cut a vein on my scrotum and It's left me with a permanent mark,

If I had the balls (pun not intended) I would have some cosmetic surgery to sort it out as Its put me off having them played with and I used to have pretty little balls as well.

"

Why on earth would it put you off having them played with?

Scars are cool. All part of what make you individual

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've also burned it whilst ironing my work uniform naked, it left a 2inch burn across my todger but thankfully that one didn't leave a scar

2 inches? Really? "

Maybe a slight exaggeration

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"Not my wang but I did cut a vein on my scrotum and It's left me with a permanent mark,

If I had the balls (pun not intended) I would have some cosmetic surgery to sort it out as Its put me off having them played with and I used to have pretty little balls as well.

Why on earth would it put you off having them played with?

Scars are cool. All part of what make you individual "

I could deal with a scare but it's left a couple of little blood blisters as it's on the vein

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Not my wang but I did cut a vein on my scrotum and It's left me with a permanent mark,

If I had the balls (pun not intended) I would have some cosmetic surgery to sort it out as Its put me off having them played with and I used to have pretty little balls as well.

Why on earth would it put you off having them played with?

Scars are cool. All part of what make you individual

I could deal with a scare but it's left a couple of little blood blisters as it's on the vein "

Again.... makes you individual!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not my wang but I did cut a vein on my scrotum and It's left me with a permanent mark,

If I had the balls (pun not intended) I would have some cosmetic surgery to sort it out as Its put me off having them played with and I used to have pretty little balls as well.

Why on earth would it put you off having them played with?

Scars are cool. All part of what make you individual

I could deal with a scare but it's left a couple of little blood blisters as it's on the vein "

I wouldn't let scars bother you mate, I've got loads of them, most I got whilst working. I think they add to my overall manliness somehow. Each tells their own story and like the OP said, they're a talking point.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman  over a year ago

...

I've just seen a photo of a batte_ed sausage that looks like a man wang

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've just seen a photo of a batte_ed sausage that looks like a man wang "

You said you'd not tell anyone

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I've just seen a photo of a batte_ed sausage that looks like a man wang "

Does it have a set of balls?

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By *ty31Man  over a year ago

NW London

Found out why packets of naga chilli have a "wear gloves" label on them.

Cooking dinner, finished chopping them up, needed to answer the call of nature. Forgot to wash hands before handling man wang.

THE HEAT

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Found out why packets of naga chilli have a "wear gloves" label on them.

Cooking dinner, finished chopping them up, needed to answer the call of nature. Forgot to wash hands before handling man wang.

THE HEAT "

Amateur mistake

I hope you washed them after wang handling and getting ba k to cooking

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By *ty31Man  over a year ago

NW London


"Found out why packets of naga chilli have a "wear gloves" label on them.

Cooking dinner, finished chopping them up, needed to answer the call of nature. Forgot to wash hands before handling man wang.

THE HEAT

Amateur mistake

I hope you washed them after wang handling and getting ba k to cooking "

I think it was a cold shower job...

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Found out why packets of naga chilli have a "wear gloves" label on them.

Cooking dinner, finished chopping them up, needed to answer the call of nature. Forgot to wash hands before handling man wang.

THE HEAT

Amateur mistake

I hope you washed them after wang handling and getting ba k to cooking

I think it was a cold shower job..."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I burnt my wang with an iron whilst ironing the trousers I wanted to put on

Also got a friction burn all down one side after an enthusiastic session with a lass,turned out I hadn't pulled her knickers far enough across

Oh yeah,and deep heat on your spuds burns like a bastard!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I burnt my wang with an iron whilst ironing the trousers I wanted to put on

Also got a friction burn all down one side after an enthusiastic session with a lass,turned out I hadn't pulled her knickers far enough across

Oh yeah,and deep heat on your spuds burns like a bastard! "

Knicker burn

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I burnt my wang with an iron whilst ironing the trousers I wanted to put on

Also got a friction burn all down one side after an enthusiastic session with a lass,turned out I hadn't pulled her knickers far enough across

Oh yeah,and deep heat on your spuds burns like a bastard!

Knicker burn "

It wasn't pretty,ran from tip to base and hurt like crazy

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I burnt my wang with an iron whilst ironing the trousers I wanted to put on

Also got a friction burn all down one side after an enthusiastic session with a lass,turned out I hadn't pulled her knickers far enough across

Oh yeah,and deep heat on your spuds burns like a bastard!

Knicker burn

It wasn't pretty,ran from tip to base and hurt like crazy "

Did you rub some germoline on it? That stuff is magic

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By *sianmale89Man  over a year ago

Stockport

One night I was out off hand lotion/Vaseline or baby oil and was feeling in the mood for a nice slippery wank. I made the big mistake off using deep heat as a substitute thinking it would be al right, boy was I wrong a few minutes into the wank I felt a severe burning and itchy sensation on my penis to the point where I stopped everything and jumped into the bathtub and put the shower on it's coldest temperature and only then did it go away.....needless to say lesson learned never use deep heat as masturbation lube.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"One night I was out off hand lotion/Vaseline or baby oil and was feeling in the mood for a nice slippery wank. I made the big mistake off using deep heat as a substitute thinking it would be al right, boy was I wrong a few minutes into the wank I felt a severe burning and itchy sensation on my penis to the point where I stopped everything and jumped into the bathtub and put the shower on it's coldest temperature and only then did it go away.....needless to say lesson learned never use deep heat as masturbation lube. "

Surely the name gave it away??

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By *sianmale89Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Surely the name gave it away?? "
ideally OP yes it should have been but to be fair I was quite horny that night and was in the mood for it, it wasn't the first incident off that night I had something similar happen with a lotion that had jojoba extract. Needless to say same thing happened and I had to jump into the shower earlier on and avoid screaming, after both incidents In the same night it killed the mood and I just went to sleep....is kind off comedy like when I look back at it.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Surely the name gave it away?? ideally OP yes it should have been but to be fair I was quite horny that night and was in the mood for it, it wasn't the first incident off that night I had something similar happen with a lotion that had jojoba extract. Needless to say same thing happened and I had to jump into the shower earlier on and avoid screaming, after both incidents In the same night it killed the mood and I just went to sleep....is kind off comedy like when I look back at it. "

Kind of comedy? There's no kind of about it!

Twice in one night is stuff legends are made of!

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By *raceytvcdTV/TS  over a year ago

mansfield


"Motor cycle crash a few years back where my groin smashed into the petrol tank ...... my boys took a beating, both of the swollen up to the size coconuts! My mates have a pic where they are posing with my swollen nut sack. And no, the sexy nurses wouldn't rub them better for me "
tank slapper

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Motor cycle crash a few years back where my groin smashed into the petrol tank ...... my boys took a beating, both of the swollen up to the size coconuts! My mates have a pic where they are posing with my swollen nut sack. And no, the sexy nurses wouldn't rub them better for me "

All I'm wondering is when are you gonna upload the pic?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Let's just say there once was an over zealous post-been away for too long penetration-based tear. I had to go and have it whipped off. That wasn't much either

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By *sianmale89Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"

Kind of comedy? There's no kind of about it!

Twice in one night is stuff legends are made of!"

I suppose so but none the less I learned a hard life lesson and just stick to lubricants I'm familiar with, anything else I just keep away from after all I don't want to make a hat trick mistake now do I?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have a skin condition where sometimes my foreskin tightens. Once I was furiously fucking this girl and it partially tore.

The amount of blood...I almost fainted. I spent an evening in casualty & they told me it would just heal naturally.

It did but...

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I have a skin condition where sometimes my foreskin tightens. Once I was furiously fucking this girl and it partially tore.

The amount of blood...I almost fainted. I spent an evening in casualty & they told me it would just heal naturally.

It did but..."

But did you see her again?

I can imagine it's difficult after something like that to get over the thought of it happening again.

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By *ellowbabesCouple  over a year ago

newport/cwmbran

Some of these are making me genuinely lol....but a word of caution chaps. Like most I have had the odd bruise, scratches,blister etc after a vigorous encounter....the cumulative effect is a condition called peyronies disease( ask Google)...who knew? 6 months in and still not what it was, although nearly there tho!! Mr

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By *Devil77Man  over a year ago

West Midlands

Brought a new battery shaver at Xmas, for going away and quick shaves.

Decided one day to trim the man Wang and the bladed ripped me to sh_eds...it was like a scene from Carrie I yell ya.

Was sore even sat in my boxers,and it scabbed up on the slack,so if I got a hard on it was fuckin agony!

I threw the bastard shaver away!!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Brought a new battery shaver at Xmas, for going away and quick shaves.

Decided one day to trim the man Wang and the bladed ripped me to sh_eds...it was like a scene from Carrie I yell ya.

Was sore even sat in my boxers,and it scabbed up on the slack,so if I got a hard on it was fuckin agony!

I threw the bastard shaver away!! "

Sorry, but the words "on the slack" have killed me off

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Some of these are making me genuinely lol....but a word of caution chaps. Like most I have had the odd bruise, scratches,blister etc after a vigorous encounter....the cumulative effect is a condition called peyronies disease( ask Google)...who knew? 6 months in and still not what it was, although nearly there tho!! Mr "

Look after your man wangs fellas!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some of these are making me genuinely lol....but a word of caution chaps. Like most I have had the odd bruise, scratches,blister etc after a vigorous encounter....the cumulative effect is a condition called peyronies disease( ask Google)...who knew? 6 months in and still not what it was, although nearly there tho!! Mr

Look after your man wangs fellas!"

or get someone to look after your wang for you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Heard about a guy who jumped down from the top bunk on a navy ship but snagged his ball sac with gruesome results.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Heard about a guy who jumped down from the top bunk on a navy ship but snagged his ball sac with gruesome results. "

I'm picturing him upside down, his balls like a castrated dog.

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By *Devil77Man  over a year ago

West Midlands


"Brought a new battery shaver at Xmas, for going away and quick shaves.

Decided one day to trim the man Wang and the bladed ripped me to sh_eds...it was like a scene from Carrie I yell ya.

Was sore even sat in my boxers,and it scabbed up on the slack,so if I got a hard on it was fuckin agony!

I threw the bastard shaver away!!

Sorry, but the words "on the slack" have killed me off "

Would you prefer a chubby instead

Maybe be all grown up and say semi erect

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Brought a new battery shaver at Xmas, for going away and quick shaves.

Decided one day to trim the man Wang and the bladed ripped me to sh_eds...it was like a scene from Carrie I yell ya.

Was sore even sat in my boxers,and it scabbed up on the slack,so if I got a hard on it was fuckin agony!

I threw the bastard shaver away!! "

I once used my beard trimmer to trim down there. The metal teeth caught my skin on my balls...i ended up half shaved for about 2 weeks

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Brought a new battery shaver at Xmas, for going away and quick shaves.

Decided one day to trim the man Wang and the bladed ripped me to sh_eds...it was like a scene from Carrie I yell ya.

Was sore even sat in my boxers,and it scabbed up on the slack,so if I got a hard on it was fuckin agony!

I threw the bastard shaver away!!

I once used my beard trimmer to trim down there. The metal teeth caught my skin on my balls...i ended up half shaved for about 2 weeks "

I used my ex's beard trimmer to shave my chuff when I was full term pregnant and hadn't seen downstairs in ages. It was very satisfying.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Heard about a guy who jumped down from the top bunk on a navy ship but snagged his ball sac with gruesome results.

I'm picturing him upside down, his balls like a castrated dog."

I heard it ripped open and his testicle was hanging out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Brought a new battery shaver at Xmas, for going away and quick shaves.

Decided one day to trim the man Wang and the bladed ripped me to sh_eds...it was like a scene from Carrie I yell ya.

Was sore even sat in my boxers,and it scabbed up on the slack,so if I got a hard on it was fuckin agony!

I threw the bastard shaver away!!

I once used my beard trimmer to trim down there. The metal teeth caught my skin on my balls...i ended up half shaved for about 2 weeks

I used my ex's beard trimmer to shave my chuff when I was full term pregnant and hadn't seen downstairs in ages. It was very satisfying. "

Haha its very satisfying trimming above any sensitive equipment.

I find tweezing very satisfying though. I kinda got hooked on it about a year ago

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Brought a new battery shaver at Xmas, for going away and quick shaves.

Decided one day to trim the man Wang and the bladed ripped me to sh_eds...it was like a scene from Carrie I yell ya.

Was sore even sat in my boxers,and it scabbed up on the slack,so if I got a hard on it was fuckin agony!

I threw the bastard shaver away!!

I once used my beard trimmer to trim down there. The metal teeth caught my skin on my balls...i ended up half shaved for about 2 weeks

I used my ex's beard trimmer to shave my chuff when I was full term pregnant and hadn't seen downstairs in ages. It was very satisfying.

Haha its very satisfying trimming above any sensitive equipment.

I find tweezing very satisfying though. I kinda got hooked on it about a year ago "

Tweezing is fun.

It wasn't the fact I was freshly trimmed I found satisfying tho....it was the fact he had no idea and was gonna use it on his face.

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By *istretchMan  over a year ago

leeds

Had mine pierced not for long caught it tearing it downwards! So now it's slightly attached and my foreskin pulls a lot farther than it used to lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I thought I had permanently broken my first boyfriend when we established that my period hadn't suddenly started and it was all gushing out of him. The bigger issues was cleaning his mother's sofa before she got home. 17 was such a long time ago.

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By *uxom _edCouple  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I, well my newly fitted coil, kinda made a hole in my partners wang.

Took ages to heal

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Had mine pierced not for long caught it tearing it downwards! So now it's slightly attached and my foreskin pulls a lot farther than it used to lol "

Trying a cock that's pierced is something I want to do, but I have fears about catching it and hurting the dude.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I thought I had permanently broken my first boyfriend when we established that my period hadn't suddenly started and it was all gushing out of him. The bigger issues was cleaning his mother's sofa before she got home. 17 was such a long time ago.

"

Bleeding hell

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I, well my newly fitted coil, kinda made a hole in my partners wang.

Took ages to heal "

Crikey... they need to rename them things dick destroyers!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I used my ex's beard trimmer to shave my chuff when I was full term pregnant and hadn't seen downstairs in ages. It was very satisfying.

Haha its very satisfying trimming above any sensitive equipment.

I find tweezing very satisfying though. I kinda got hooked on it about a year ago

Tweezing is fun.

It wasn't the fact I was freshly trimmed I found satisfying tho....it was the fact he had no idea and was gonna use it on his face. "

It's relaxing with a little of both pain and pleasure

Now that's funny, did he ever find out?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I used my ex's beard trimmer to shave my chuff when I was full term pregnant and hadn't seen downstairs in ages. It was very satisfying.

Haha its very satisfying trimming above any sensitive equipment.

I find tweezing very satisfying though. I kinda got hooked on it about a year ago

Tweezing is fun.

It wasn't the fact I was freshly trimmed I found satisfying tho....it was the fact he had no idea and was gonna use it on his face.

It's relaxing with a little of both pain and pleasure

Now that's funny, did he ever find out?"

Course he did.... I told him as one of my pubes that was hanging under the blade was about to enter his mouth

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I used my ex's beard trimmer to shave my chuff when I was full term pregnant and hadn't seen downstairs in ages. It was very satisfying.

Haha its very satisfying trimming above any sensitive equipment.

I find tweezing very satisfying though. I kinda got hooked on it about a year ago

Tweezing is fun.

It wasn't the fact I was freshly trimmed I found satisfying tho....it was the fact he had no idea and was gonna use it on his face.

It's relaxing with a little of both pain and pleasure

Now that's funny, did he ever find out?

Course he did.... I told him as one of my pubes that was hanging under the blade was about to enter his mouth "

Brilliant

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I used my ex's beard trimmer to shave my chuff when I was full term pregnant and hadn't seen downstairs in ages. It was very satisfying.

Haha its very satisfying trimming above any sensitive equipment.

I find tweezing very satisfying though. I kinda got hooked on it about a year ago

Tweezing is fun.

It wasn't the fact I was freshly trimmed I found satisfying tho....it was the fact he had no idea and was gonna use it on his face.

It's relaxing with a little of both pain and pleasure

Now that's funny, did he ever find out?

Course he did.... I told him as one of my pubes that was hanging under the blade was about to enter his mouth

Brilliant "

I thought so

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek

Bump for PB

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Bump for PB "

You're such a star!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Bump for PB

You're such a star! "

I try.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Bump for PB

You're such a star!

I try. "

I guess the only one I have is related to my iron man pic. I thought I should take a second exposure with a little more exposure you know... and yeah well - irons are hot you know!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Bump for PB

You're such a star!

I try.

I guess the only one I have is related to my iron man pic. I thought I should take a second exposure with a little more exposure you know... and yeah well - irons are hot you know! "

Doofus!

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By *iSTARessWoman  over a year ago

London

Not my wang but escorted a chap to A&E who broke his knob. Missed my food and whacked himself into my public bone.

Turned out to be a lying cheater. Karma sucks eh?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Got d*unk as a teenager and a pals mum let me stay over rather than make my way home d*unk. I woke up with his mum shouting as I was in the middle of peeing on their coal fire. The smell was hanging about for days apparently. Very embarrassing.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Not my wang but escorted a chap to A&E who broke his knob. Missed my food and whacked himself into my public bone.

Turned out to be a lying cheater. Karma sucks eh? "

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By *ust RachelTV/TS  over a year ago

Horsham

Not cut it, but bruised it.

I hit a car that had pulled out in front of my CBR600, the force of the impact threw me and the bike over the car bonnet. But in those moments before upwards movement happened, the forward movement of me slammed my groin into the tank.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Not cut it, but bruised it.

I hit a car that had pulled out in front of my CBR600, the force of the impact threw me and the bike over the car bonnet. But in those moments before upwards movement happened, the forward movement of me slammed my groin into the tank."

Ouchies. So, serious question. When there's bruising it naturally hurts when touched etc. Does the body/mind counter act this by keeping it on the flop or does it still get naughty thoughts and grow causing more pain?

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By *ikstupp2Man  over a year ago

london


"Not cut it, but bruised it.

I hit a car that had pulled out in front of my CBR600, the force of the impact threw me and the bike over the car bonnet. But in those moments before upwards movement happened, the forward movement of me slammed my groin into the tank.

Ouchies. So, serious question. When there's bruising it naturally hurts when touched etc. Does the body/mind counter act this by keeping it on the flop or does it still get naughty thoughts and grow causing more pain?"

whenever iv hurt my wang he won't behave, he gets worse

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By *ust RachelTV/TS  over a year ago

Horsham


"Not cut it, but bruised it.

I hit a car that had pulled out in front of my CBR600, the force of the impact threw me and the bike over the car bonnet. But in those moments before upwards movement happened, the forward movement of me slammed my groin into the tank.

Ouchies. So, serious question. When there's bruising it naturally hurts when touched etc. Does the body/mind counter act this by keeping it on the flop or does it still get naughty thoughts and grow causing more pain?"

Sadly it has a mind of its own, it did grow and it did hurt.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"Not cut it, but bruised it.

I hit a car that had pulled out in front of my CBR600, the force of the impact threw me and the bike over the car bonnet. But in those moments before upwards movement happened, the forward movement of me slammed my groin into the tank.

Ouchies. So, serious question. When there's bruising it naturally hurts when touched etc. Does the body/mind counter act this by keeping it on the flop or does it still get naughty thoughts and grow causing more pain?

Sadly it has a mind of its own, it did grow and it did hurt."

Eeeek. Thanks for answering that.

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By *CDecauxMan  over a year ago

Caerphilly

I think the worst one for me, was my ex using her teeth a little too much during a bj.

Literally had "scram" marks from her teeth down the length of my cock, right up to the head of it.

Killed me do even pull the foreskin back to pee as it was healing. Ugh! Then she wonde_ed why I stopped wanting her bj's

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"I think the worst one for me, was my ex using her teeth a little too much during a bj.

Literally had "scram" marks from her teeth down the length of my cock, right up to the head of it.

Killed me do even pull the foreskin back to pee as it was healing. Ugh! Then she wonde_ed why I stopped wanting her bj's "

I'm trying to work out if you have a huge wang, her a small mouth or she enjoyed your discomfort

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By *CDecauxMan  over a year ago

Caerphilly


"I think the worst one for me, was my ex using her teeth a little too much during a bj.

Literally had "scram" marks from her teeth down the length of my cock, right up to the head of it.

Killed me do even pull the foreskin back to pee as it was healing. Ugh! Then she wonde_ed why I stopped wanting her bj's

I'm trying to work out if you have a huge wang, her a small mouth or she enjoyed your discomfort "

Small mouth. Definitely.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not sure if this counts as it is not the wang as such, but still very painful all the same.

I had a testicle removed years ago, they surgeon went in just above the pubic hair. I had several weeks of pain if I even thought about getting a hard on, i never realised how many muscles go through the groin.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OK I'll be brave!!

Many years ago in my late teens/early twenties I was walking my then girlfriend home when lets just say passion got the better of us down a dark alleyway - unfortunately her brand new jeans weren't pulled down far enough and I ended up slicing just below the head of my manhood on the zip!!

First I knew of it was when I looked down at my faded jeans to see them cove_ed in blood!!

Worst of it was I was staying at a mates and had to walk back in and explain I'd cut my hand on some barbed wire!!"

Wangler jeans.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman  over a year ago

shits creek


"OK I'll be brave!!

Many years ago in my late teens/early twenties I was walking my then girlfriend home when lets just say passion got the better of us down a dark alleyway - unfortunately her brand new jeans weren't pulled down far enough and I ended up slicing just below the head of my manhood on the zip!!

First I knew of it was when I looked down at my faded jeans to see them cove_ed in blood!!

Worst of it was I was staying at a mates and had to walk back in and explain I'd cut my hand on some barbed wire!!

Wangler jeans."

How the fuck did I miss this first time round?!

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