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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only meet people way older than yourself then you won't feel like someone's mother  "
Or lower your age so I can send you a dick pick.
There is a candle in the background so its romantic as fuck  |
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"Wear a beanie and use sticky tape under it to give yourself a mini facelift  nobody will notice when the tape on the left jowl comes undone and one side of your face sags like a melting candle... Honest...  "
"Are you having a stroke?"
"At least buy me a pint first..." |
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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago
North of Okehampton, South of Bideford |
"Share your tips on ageing well or beating father time.
1. Meet only when there are power cuts -they'll only have that photo you sent them to go on.
"
The secret of looking younger is have lots of Birthdays  |
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There was a 70 year old woman in the news the other day who looked in her early 30's because she hadn't eaten sugar for 28 years. She looks amazing! What will power too!
My tip and a serious one, is to avoid sunlight. It obviously works for vampires, as they never look their true age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cum facials.. fantastic for preserving that youthful dewy glow.
Rub and spread the freshly deposited hot load evenly in slow , circular upward movements ejaculated from a healthy, good-looking and satisfied donor and voila..
 |
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Feign eccentricity, wear a veil.
Rub egg white into your face just before a meet it shrinks as it dries, again you might need to claim eccentricity when your skin appears to crack when you talk.
Insist that you have a balaclava fetish.
 |
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"Feign eccentricity, wear a veil.
Rub egg white into your face just before a meet it shrinks as it dries, again you might need to claim eccentricity when your skin appears to crack when you talk.
Insist that you have a balaclava fetish.
"
The cracking reminds me of those vampires who suddenly age hundreds of years and become dust.
Spend time with your face in shop coolers and freezers - you'll get contraction due to cold and a healthy glow as you thaw. Smoother skin, lumpiness gone and a sparkle in your eyes from the ice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am I unusual in this?
I actually like someone to look their age, nothing more attractive than some laugh lines and maybe a slight tummy as evidence of healthy appetites and lots of evenings of hearty joyful laughs .
Honestly dislike the plastic botox moon faces or stretched turtle in a wind tunnel thing.
https://youtu.be/DiKpvHQzKVc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cum facials.. fantastic for preserving that youthful dewy glow.
Rub and spread the freshly deposited hot load evenly in slow , circular upward movements ejaculated from a healthy, good-looking and satisfied donor and voila..
"
My ex used to say this to me. I didn't believe him either! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cum facials.. fantastic for preserving that youthful dewy glow.
Rub and spread the freshly deposited hot load evenly in slow , circular upward movements ejaculated from a healthy, good-looking and satisfied donor and voila..
My ex used to say this to me. I didn't believe him either! "
I posted it as a glib aside tbh..
Joking aside there is substance to the skin health boosting claims..
A quick Google search yielded this:
"Semen is packed with protein, which tightens your skin while nourishing it with zinc, magnesium, calcium, potassium and fructose. (Albeit small amounts of each.) ... Semen includes a powerful antioxidant called spermine, which has been introduced in upscale spas and packaged as $250 cream."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No alcohol
No sugar
No pies
No pastry
No smoking
No greasy spoons
No lard arsing around
No junk food
No stress
No sunbathing
No late nights
NO LIFE!! "
Don't knock it till you've tried it  takes a strong willed mind  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No alcohol
No sugar
No pies
No pastry
No smoking
No greasy spoons
No lard arsing around
No junk food
No stress
No sunbathing
No late nights
You won't live for ever, it'll just feel like it "
Oh what really |
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i think staying out of the sun is the most important one. i sunbathed a lot as a youngster and by the time i was 23 i had crows feet and ive never been ID since! lol. at 20 though people thought i was 16 so it goes to show you how much damage it does and how fast! i since havent been out in the sun that much though and im now 40 and people think im 30, but gets me thinking to what i could look like if i never had been in it at all! double edge sword though because you need vit D! so supplement it. next is staying in shape and eating well. maybe there's even something to going vegan if that jared leto's face is anything to do with it. |
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"Am I unusual in this?
I actually like someone to look their age, nothing more attractive than some laugh lines and maybe a slight tummy as evidence of healthy appetites and lots of evenings of hearty joyful laughs .
Honestly dislike the plastic botox moon faces or stretched turtle in a wind tunnel thing.
https://youtu.be/DiKpvHQzKVc"
No, I like people to be natural to an extent but I have no problem with facials (the beauticians kind lol), creams and generally taking sensible measures to look your best. |
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"Feign eccentricity, wear a veil.
Rub egg white into your face just before a meet it shrinks as it dries, again you might need to claim eccentricity when your skin appears to crack when you talk.
Insist that you have a balaclava fetish.
The cracking reminds me of those vampires who suddenly age hundreds of years and become dust.
Spend time with your face in shop coolers and freezers - you'll get contraction due to cold and a healthy glow as you thaw. Smoother skin, lumpiness gone and a sparkle in your eyes from the ice."
I'm going to shop in Iceland from now on |
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