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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Young Timmy pricked his finger on a drawing pin at school.
"Teacher teacher I need to put my finger in some Cider" said Timmy.
"Some Cider Timmy?? Why an earth would you need to do that?" Enquired the Teacher.
"Well my sister always says when she gets a prick in her hand, she always puts it in cider"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A bit more like my old self so watch out!!
Gimme some cheer!!
I would like to hear your cheesiest jokes. Make me groan baby!!  "
Three cheers for Bunnyhop.
What did the left ball say to the right ball?
Don't talk to the guy in the middle he's a dick.
Boom  |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
I was in a Chinese restaurant the other night when a duck walked over to my table and said "you have the most beautiful eyes and your smile lights up a room"
I called the waiter over and says to him "No, I asked for the AROMATIC duck" |
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"I was in a Chinese restaurant the other night when a duck walked over to my table and said "you have the most beautiful eyes and your smile lights up a room"
I called the waiter over and says to him "No, I asked for the AROMATIC duck""
Love this one!
I'm stealing it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Man walks into a bar and orders six seperate shots of whisky. As the barman is pouring them the man is necking them, sharpish.
Barman; "you're drinking a bit quick aren't you mate"
Man; "you'd drink quickly if you had what I've got"
Barman; "why what have you got?"
Man; "fifty pence"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Polar bear walks into a bar "two pints of.................... bitter please barman"
Barman given the polar bear his drinks saying "there you are sir. But if I may ask, what the big pause"
Polar bear looks at his paws and says "dunno... I was born with them" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Polar bear walks into a bar "two pints of.................... bitter please barman"
Barman given the polar bear his drinks saying "there you are sir. But if I may ask, what the big pause"
Polar bear looks at his paws and says "dunno... I was born with them""
I was you know  |
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What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.
What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch. |
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By *rowleyMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
Two friends, Peter and Tom, share their love of tractor watching until, tragically, Peter dies after being run over by a tractor.
Tom, swears of tractors and for many years drifts about. One day he's in a pub and it catches fire. Smoke everywhere and people panicking how they'll get out.
Tom steps up and starts sucking up the smoke and blowing it away, allowing everyone to get to safety.
Outside, Tom is praised and interviewed by the newspaper where they ask how he was able to do what he did.
"It's easy", he said. "I'm an ex-tractor fan"
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