FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The benefits of failure
The benefits of failure
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Failure is an inevitable part of being a human being and we might as well get used to it. But what if, instead of getting used to it, we made use of it. If we greet failure as part of an informative feedback loop then it is something to welcome. After all it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it.
We live in a society that emphasises success and winning. But these are the end products of a process of learning, something which we inevitably do if we fail. Many of us resist trying things because we think we wont be good at them. However, we're missing out on life this way. All of our life is a learning experience and a process not an end result. The experiences and impressions we gain when attempting something new are our life." (PT)
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from a failure? Do you usually learn from your failures or do you keep repeating them? What is the next big success you are working towards? |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
I think I take failure hard at the time and beat myself up about it. But after that initial anger and disappointment I'm quite reflective, probably over so and seek to try and work out why I failed and how I could do better next time.
I think one of my biggest failures at the time was not getting the A levels grades I needed to get in to do veterinary science. But I learnt from this and smashed my degree instead. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think I take failure hard at the time and beat myself up about it. But after that initial anger and disappointment I'm quite reflective, probably over so and seek to try and work out why I failed and how I could do better next time.
I think one of my biggest failures at the time was not getting the A levels grades I needed to get in to do veterinary science. But I learnt from this and smashed my degree instead."
Fantastic!! Why do you think you didn't get the results the first time? And (if willing to disclose) what did you choose to study for your degree, if not veterinary science?
I beat myself up a lot, and similarly overly ruminate and break down all the possible elements of what happened! |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I think I take failure hard at the time and beat myself up about it. But after that initial anger and disappointment I'm quite reflective, probably over so and seek to try and work out why I failed and how I could do better next time.
I think one of my biggest failures at the time was not getting the A levels grades I needed to get in to do veterinary science. But I learnt from this and smashed my degree instead.
Fantastic!! Why do you think you didn't get the results the first time? And (if willing to disclose) what did you choose to study for your degree, if not veterinary science?
I beat myself up a lot, and similarly overly ruminate and break down all the possible elements of what happened! "
I've always been pretty academic and getting the grades at GCSE had been relatively easy for me. I hadn't realised what a step up A levels were and had never had to work for anything before, I was overly confident I'd do well as I always had. Lesson learnt though. I did a degree in Biochemistry. |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"
I beat myself up a lot, and similarly overly ruminate and break down all the possible elements of what happened! "
I think some of the most successful people have this quality but it's a fine line between reflecting and over thinking isn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think I take failure hard at the time and beat myself up about it. But after that initial anger and disappointment I'm quite reflective, probably over so and seek to try and work out why I failed and how I could do better next time.
I think one of my biggest failures at the time was not getting the A levels grades I needed to get in to do veterinary science. But I learnt from this and smashed my degree instead.
Fantastic!! Why do you think you didn't get the results the first time? And (if willing to disclose) what did you choose to study for your degree, if not veterinary science?
I beat myself up a lot, and similarly overly ruminate and break down all the possible elements of what happened!
I've always been pretty academic and getting the grades at GCSE had been relatively easy for me. I hadn't realised what a step up A levels were and had never had to work for anything before, I was overly confident I'd do well as I always had. Lesson learnt though. I did a degree in Biochemistry."
Nods. Yes -- gosh, I've definitely been guilty of that. And would definitely have prepped you to not be complement when facing the difference again in how degrees are studied/completed. Biochemistry -- awesome! Well done  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I beat myself up a lot, and similarly overly ruminate and break down all the possible elements of what happened!
I think some of the most successful people have this quality but it's a fine line between reflecting and over thinking isn't it?"
It definitely is! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think failure is not something you can always sit back and learn from. Sometimes you have to accept there was nothing you could do about it as we can all work hard for our goals...but having luck can be a big part of it. And I do not accept that saying that you make your own luck.
Sometimes it is better to accept it was never to be then bash yourself up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think failure is not something you can always sit back and learn from. Sometimes you have to accept there was nothing you could do about it as we can all work hard for our goals...but having luck can be a big part of it. And I do not accept that saying that you make your own luck.
Sometimes it is better to accept it was never to be then bash yourself up."
I think that's a good point. Life has elements that are pure luck, for example, I'm very lucky to have been born into the loving family I was and comfortably off etc etc -- it's a balance knowing what things you can influence and what you can't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Success and winning gives us brief joy and gains us nothing but sorrow and emptyness when its gone....
Failure leaves us sorrow yet gives us opportunities to grow wise and have lasting joy...
We learn so much from failure, its a far better friend and teacher than success and winning.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could class this as failure, I personally took it that way.
I set myself a career path and wanted to stick to it, at some points droping my wage to get to the points I wanted to, the problem I have my passion comes out in the wrong way, therefore when it comes to moving on promotion this would often get to me, I have heen turned down so many times for jobs I was more than qualified for due to my "passion" however, I have got to the position I wanted to.
Along the way I thought it was failure, with people trying there best to drag me down. I wanted to get into this position by 30, and I was 15 months late, but go it in the end.
What I would say is people will always want you to fail, the biggest failure is then believing them, at points i did.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Success and winning gives us brief joy and gains us nothing but sorrow and emptyness when its gone....
Failure leaves us sorrow yet gives us opportunities to grow wise and have lasting joy...
We learn so much from failure, its a far better friend and teacher than success and winning...."
I definitely agree you learn more from "failure", and it probably thus enriches our experience overall. I do want to use that learning to succeed though! I'm not sure success and winning is all bad  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You could class this as failure, I personally took it that way.
I set myself a career path and wanted to stick to it, at some points droping my wage to get to the points I wanted to, the problem I have my passion comes out in the wrong way, therefore when it comes to moving on promotion this would often get to me, I have heen turned down so many times for jobs I was more than qualified for due to my "passion" however, I have got to the position I wanted to.
Along the way I thought it was failure, with people trying there best to drag me down. I wanted to get into this position by 30, and I was 15 months late, but go it in the end.
What I would say is people will always want you to fail, the biggest failure is then believing them, at points i did.
"
Congratulations on achieving your goal!! Resilience and determination has obviously got you there, that's fantastic.
I don't know that I can agree with the statement that people will always want you to fail though. There's nobody I can think of that I think that about.
Oh, I lie. Trump, I'm totally cool with him failing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not scared of failing at anything now. I think (could be wrong) that because I was a high academic achieved, and a fair (albeit not particularly serious) sports woman, I have had plenty of success, as a child and young adult.
As I've grown older I've become less focused on achieving and more focused on helping others, including helping them to achieve. I get no joy or pleasure from my own achievements or gaining trophies, certificates, qualifications etc.
I've lost my train of thought now; I'll come back to this later.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I beat myself up a lot, and similarly overly ruminate and break down all the possible elements of what happened!
I think some of the most successful people have this quality but it's a fine line between reflecting and over thinking isn't it?"
I have been accused of over thinking and maybe it's true. But success and failure are relative concepts determined by our own perceptions of our goals dreams and achievements.
Failure isn't a negative it's a process of learning and taking chances believing in our ability and if it doesn't work first time having that desire and determination to eventually succeed in achieving our goal.
I have two such goals at the moment...one is going well the other less so...but the only true failure is that of giving up and walking away...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What we've got here, is failure to communicate 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM"
Repetitive post injury? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hod20AzYB4o
relevant somehow...i forget why but it is. "
Oh I love that!! Thank you
Performance -- Feedback -- Revision |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"
I beat myself up a lot, and similarly overly ruminate and break down all the possible elements of what happened!
I think some of the most successful people have this quality but it's a fine line between reflecting and over thinking isn't it?
I have been accused of over thinking and maybe it's true. But success and failure are relative concepts determined by our own perceptions of our goals dreams and achievements.
Failure isn't a negative it's a process of learning and taking chances believing in our ability and if it doesn't work first time having that desire and determination to eventually succeed in achieving our goal.
I have two such goals at the moment...one is going well the other less so...but the only true failure is that of giving up and walking away...
"
I agree. Failure shouldn't be seen as a negative and is an essential part of learning. Failing is not trying at all and learning doesn't happen without some form of failure. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm not scared of failing at anything now. I think (could be wrong) that because I was a high academic achieved, and a fair (albeit not particularly serious) sports woman, I have had plenty of success, as a child and young adult.
As I've grown older I've become less focused on achieving and more focused on helping others, including helping them to achieve. I get no joy or pleasure from my own achievements or gaining trophies, certificates, qualifications etc.
I've lost my train of thought now; I'll come back to this later.
"
I liked where you were going with it. It's made me start thinking about how we teach or enable others -- is it better to be by those who've succeeded, those who've failed or those that failed and then succeeded?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You could class this as failure, I personally took it that way.
I set myself a career path and wanted to stick to it, at some points droping my wage to get to the points I wanted to, the problem I have my passion comes out in the wrong way, therefore when it comes to moving on promotion this would often get to me, I have heen turned down so many times for jobs I was more than qualified for due to my "passion" however, I have got to the position I wanted to.
Along the way I thought it was failure, with people trying there best to drag me down. I wanted to get into this position by 30, and I was 15 months late, but go it in the end.
What I would say is people will always want you to fail, the biggest failure is then believing them, at points i did.
Congratulations on achieving your goal!! Resilience and determination has obviously got you there, that's fantastic.
I don't know that I can agree with the statement that people will always want you to fail though. There's nobody I can think of that I think that about.
Oh, I lie. Trump, I'm totally cool with him failing. "
It's something I noticed, when you're trying to work hard but there is always someone that will try and shit stir. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hod20AzYB4o
relevant somehow...i forget why but it is.
Oh I love that!! Thank you
Performance -- Feedback -- Revision "
figured you might look up his other stuff if you get bored and remember some time, he's quite good...raps on the cantebury tales and stuff
if eminem went to oxford |
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"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Repetitive post injury?"
Sense of humour overload  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The path of least resistance is a slippery slope to a disastrous destination. Time invested on a noble path may masquerade as mountains to be moved but creativity, concentration and commitment conquers the steepest of climbs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I beat myself up a lot, and similarly overly ruminate and break down all the possible elements of what happened!
I think some of the most successful people have this quality but it's a fine line between reflecting and over thinking isn't it?
I have been accused of over thinking and maybe it's true. But success and failure are relative concepts determined by our own perceptions of our goals dreams and achievements.
Failure isn't a negative it's a process of learning and taking chances believing in our ability and if it doesn't work first time having that desire and determination to eventually succeed in achieving our goal.
I have two such goals at the moment...one is going well the other less so...but the only true failure is that of giving up and walking away...
"
I agree with you, failure shouldn't be seen purely in the negative -- I caveat that I do see it slightly in the negative but that provides me motivation.
Good luck with your goals |
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"I liked where you were going with it. It's made me start thinking about how we teach or enable others -- is it better to be by those who've succeeded, those who've failed or those that failed and then succeeded?! "
It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM"
Say what? |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Repetitive post injury?"
Let him learn from his failure |
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By *elson61Man
over a year ago
WELWYN GARDEN CITY |
It's natural to beat yourself up when it doesn't go right for you, but if you don't learn from your mistakes you just keep on making them. Who was it who said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome?
My one failure that was very disappointing at the time was training as a airfield radar technician for the RAF and 6 months into the course realising that I didn't have much of an understanding about electronics. It led to me leaving the RAF and wondering about what to do next. I didn't rush the decision, I took on a straight forward job to pay the bills and decided at leisure where to go next then went for it. It worked and it proved to be my main career, which I have now retired from. |
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The thing i feel a failure about mostly is being ill and the stuff it stops me from doing. However, ive done stuff in the last couple of years i couldnt of done 5 years ago. But yes i do see it as a negative that i cant live my life without taking so much medication. Im a bit maudling tonight |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You could class this as failure, I personally took it that way.
I set myself a career path and wanted to stick to it, at some points droping my wage to get to the points I wanted to, the problem I have my passion comes out in the wrong way, therefore when it comes to moving on promotion this would often get to me, I have heen turned down so many times for jobs I was more than qualified for due to my "passion" however, I have got to the position I wanted to.
Along the way I thought it was failure, with people trying there best to drag me down. I wanted to get into this position by 30, and I was 15 months late, but go it in the end.
What I would say is people will always want you to fail, the biggest failure is then believing them, at points i did.
Congratulations on achieving your goal!! Resilience and determination has obviously got you there, that's fantastic.
I don't know that I can agree with the statement that people will always want you to fail though. There's nobody I can think of that I think that about.
Oh, I lie. Trump, I'm totally cool with him failing.
It's something I noticed, when you're trying to work hard but there is always someone that will try and shit stir. "
I'm sorry to hear that. Why do you think that is? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hod20AzYB4o
relevant somehow...i forget why but it is.
Oh I love that!! Thank you
Performance -- Feedback -- Revision
figured you might look up his other stuff if you get bored and remember some time, he's quite good...raps on the cantebury tales and stuff
if eminem went to oxford "
Awesome! Thanks for the intro |
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"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what? "
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY |
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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago
Wrexham |
Woo! My kind of thread!
Honestly, if there is one thing I want to teach my monsters it is to embrace failure, see it as the positive not the negative.
I learn through failing, my entire career is based on failure.
Failing is good!
I'll go into more depth (if anyone is interested) when the monsters are asleep. Back in a few! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The path of least resistance is a slippery slope to a disastrous destination. Time invested on a noble path may masquerade as mountains to be moved but creativity, concentration and commitment conquers the steepest of climbs."
But the path of least resistance don't hurt my thigh muscles. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I liked where you were going with it. It's made me start thinking about how we teach or enable others -- is it better to be by those who've succeeded, those who've failed or those that failed and then succeeded?!
It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The path of least resistance is a slippery slope to a disastrous destination. Time invested on a noble path may masquerade as mountains to be moved but creativity, concentration and commitment conquers the steepest of climbs.
But the path of least resistance don't hurt my thigh muscles. "
It hurt a lot more than my thigh muscles!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's natural to beat yourself up when it doesn't go right for you, but if you don't learn from your mistakes you just keep on making them. Who was it who said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome?
My one failure that was very disappointing at the time was training as a airfield radar technician for the RAF and 6 months into the course realising that I didn't have much of an understanding about electronics. It led to me leaving the RAF and wondering about what to do next. I didn't rush the decision, I took on a straight forward job to pay the bills and decided at leisure where to go next then went for it. It worked and it proved to be my main career, which I have now retired from."
. What a good story, thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The thing i feel a failure about mostly is being ill and the stuff it stops me from doing. However, ive done stuff in the last couple of years i couldnt of done 5 years ago. But yes i do see it as a negative that i cant live my life without taking so much medication. Im a bit maudling tonight"
Sending you hugs. That's one of those things that's out of your control though. That's not your fault. It just sucks. Love you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY"
Come again? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woo! My kind of thread!
Honestly, if there is one thing I want to teach my monsters it is to embrace failure, see it as the positive not the negative.
I learn through failing, my entire career is based on failure.
Failing is good!
I'll go into more depth (if anyone is interested) when the monsters are asleep. Back in a few!"
Come back and say more! Yeah!!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""Failure is an inevitable part of being a human being and we might as well get used to it. But what if, instead of getting used to it, we made use of it. If we greet failure as part of an informative feedback loop then it is something to welcome. After all it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it.
We live in a society that emphasises success and winning. But these are the end products of a process of learning, something which we inevitably do if we fail. Many of us resist trying things because we think we wont be good at them. However, we're missing out on life this way. All of our life is a learning experience and a process not an end result. The experiences and impressions we gain when attempting something new are our life." (PT)
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from a failure? Do you usually learn from your failures or do you keep repeating them? What is the next big success you are working towards?"
For me it would have to be thinking I was a failure for not giving birth naturally. Then breast feeding. My son who was late...was born with eczema and for years and I still do beat myself up....thinking if only I'd done this during labour.. if only I'd not eaten this during my pregnancy. I had a very stressful pregnancy as Superman had had a motorcycle accident (almost lost him)... I took it very much to heart..but as the years have go on I've learnt that it was ok to have a cesarean and in fact I laboured naturally for 6 hours with our second child but still went on to have another cesearen. Breastfeeding I tried and again...still beat myself up over it....but I know that my children are healthy loved and cherished.
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The path of least resistance is a slippery slope to a disastrous destination. Time invested on a noble path may masquerade as mountains to be moved but creativity, concentration and commitment conquers the steepest of climbs.
But the path of least resistance don't hurt my thigh muscles.
It hurt a lot more than my thigh muscles! "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
""Failure is an inevitable part of being a human being and we might as well get used to it. But what if, instead of getting used to it, we made use of it. If we greet failure as part of an informative feedback loop then it is something to welcome. After all it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it.
We live in a society that emphasises success and winning. But these are the end products of a process of learning, something which we inevitably do if we fail. Many of us resist trying things because we think we wont be good at them. However, we're missing out on life this way. All of our life is a learning experience and a process not an end result. The experiences and impressions we gain when attempting something new are our life." (PT)
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from a failure? Do you usually learn from your failures or do you keep repeating them? What is the next big success you are working towards?
For me it would have to be thinking I was a failure for not giving birth naturally. Then breast feeding. My son who was late...was born with eczema and for years and I still do beat myself up....thinking if only I'd done this during labour.. if only I'd not eaten this during my pregnancy. I had a very stressful pregnancy as Superman had had a motorcycle accident (almost lost him)... I took it very much to heart..but as the years have go on I've learnt that it was ok to have a cesarean and in fact I laboured naturally for 6 hours with our second child but still went on to have another cesearen. Breastfeeding I tried and again...still beat myself up over it....but I know that my children are healthy loved and cherished.
"
Oh Sexy, thank you for your post, and again so not failings on your part -- it's funny how we can't accept sometimes that there really are things outside our control. Your children are super loved, that's the success. You're winning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find failure quite enjoyable, it'd be pretty fucking boring if you succeeded at everything first time.
Still chasing me are you? "
Always...
Gonna whip you with a wet towel when I catch you |
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"Woo! My kind of thread!
Honestly, if there is one thing I want to teach my monsters it is to embrace failure, see it as the positive not the negative.
I learn through failing, my entire career is based on failure.
Failing is good!
I'll go into more depth (if anyone is interested) when the monsters are asleep. Back in a few!"
I love this. It's good to teach them how to fail and build yourself up again, to try harder and know that mistakes are good. |
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"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY
Come again?"
Come Again - Damn Yankees
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuOAnsuZBY |
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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago
Wrexham |
"Woo! My kind of thread!
Honestly, if there is one thing I want to teach my monsters it is to embrace failure, see it as the positive not the negative.
I learn through failing, my entire career is based on failure.
Failing is good!
I'll go into more depth (if anyone is interested) when the monsters are asleep. Back in a few!
Come back and say more! Yeah!!' "
Job first. I'm a programmer. I bash bits of code together to solve problems. Usually this is an iterative process centred on failure... Write some code, give it a spin. Did it explode? Why? What can I do to prevent that explosion next time? Write some code... and so on.
I have applied this approach to almost everything I've ever done. Things mostly work out in the end. |
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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago
Wrexham |
Having read some of the posts here about what other people consider failure I think my feelings on the subject may come across as trite or lacking in nuance.
The failure to act appropriately in a random situation, the failure to make the right choice at a crossroads in your life, the failure of your body to do what you wish it would do. None of these are failures as far as I'm concerned. As long as you have done your best then that is all that matters. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I find failure quite enjoyable, it'd be pretty fucking boring if you succeeded at everything first time.
Still chasing me are you?
Always...
Gonna whip you with a wet towel when I catch you "
Lush!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woo! My kind of thread!
Honestly, if there is one thing I want to teach my monsters it is to embrace failure, see it as the positive not the negative.
I learn through failing, my entire career is based on failure.
Failing is good!
I'll go into more depth (if anyone is interested) when the monsters are asleep. Back in a few!
I love this. It's good to teach them how to fail and build yourself up again, to try harder and know that mistakes are good. "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY
Come again?
Come Again - Damn Yankees
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuOAnsuZBY"
Pardon? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Woo! My kind of thread!
Honestly, if there is one thing I want to teach my monsters it is to embrace failure, see it as the positive not the negative.
I learn through failing, my entire career is based on failure.
Failing is good!
I'll go into more depth (if anyone is interested) when the monsters are asleep. Back in a few!
Come back and say more! Yeah!!'
Job first. I'm a programmer. I bash bits of code together to solve problems. Usually this is an iterative process centred on failure... Write some code, give it a spin. Did it explode? Why? What can I do to prevent that explosion next time? Write some code... and so on.
I have applied this approach to almost everything I've ever done. Things mostly work out in the end. "
You should watch the clip Christos posted further up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Having read some of the posts here about what other people consider failure I think my feelings on the subject may come across as trite or lacking in nuance.
The failure to act appropriately in a random situation, the failure to make the right choice at a crossroads in your life, the failure of your body to do what you wish it would do. None of these are failures as far as I'm concerned. As long as you have done your best then that is all that matters."
Amen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
my marriage failed and im so much a stronger person because of it - but i instinctively still react similarly to some people after so many years of being controlled - hate myself sometimes for that - still learning to be me i guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I dont think without failure whether it educational, career based, personal a person can grow and develop.
It down to how you take failure i.e. if you give up or dust your self and try again.
I read an article that said the sucess of Silicon Valley was based on failure it was a very interesting take on things.
You may have many failures but it only takes once to be a sucess |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"my marriage failed and im so much a stronger person because of it - but i instinctively still react similarly to some people after so many years of being controlled - hate myself sometimes for that - still learning to be me i guess"
No, they're triggering a memory for you. The fact that you're reflecting on it will help, sometimes we just need to explain to people why we do things or react to things in a particular way and they can help us to grow/react differently. Or walk away if the intent from them is to hurt. |
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By *elson61Man
over a year ago
WELWYN GARDEN CITY |
"It's natural to beat yourself up when it doesn't go right for you, but if you don't learn from your mistakes you just keep on making them. Who was it who said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome?
My one failure that was very disappointing at the time was training as a airfield radar technician for the RAF and 6 months into the course realising that I didn't have much of an understanding about electronics. It led to me leaving the RAF and wondering about what to do next. I didn't rush the decision, I took on a straight forward job to pay the bills and decided at leisure where to go next then went for it. It worked and it proved to be my main career, which I have now retired from.
. What a good story, thank you "
You are welcome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I dont think without failure whether it educational, career based, personal a person can grow and develop.
It down to how you take failure i.e. if you give up or dust your self and try again.
I read an article that said the sucess of Silicon Valley was based on failure it was a very interesting take on things.
You may have many failures but it only takes once to be a sucess "
Very true. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's natural to beat yourself up when it doesn't go right for you, but if you don't learn from your mistakes you just keep on making them. Who was it who said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome?
My one failure that was very disappointing at the time was training as a airfield radar technician for the RAF and 6 months into the course realising that I didn't have much of an understanding about electronics. It led to me leaving the RAF and wondering about what to do next. I didn't rush the decision, I took on a straight forward job to pay the bills and decided at leisure where to go next then went for it. It worked and it proved to be my main career, which I have now retired from.
. What a good story, thank you
You are welcome "
What's the goal these days? |
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"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY
Come again?
Come Again - Damn Yankees
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuOAnsuZBY
Pardon?"
Pardon Me – Staind
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs5pybqWDAI |
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"The very first company I started failed with a great bang. The second one failed a little bit less, but still failed. The third one, you know, proper failed, but it was kind of okay. I recovered quickly. Number four almost didn’t fail. It still didn’t really feel great, but it did okay. Number five was PayPal – Max Levchin, former CTO of PayPal"
Failing at things is part of the learning |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Failure is part of the process, if something doesn't succeed I move on to the next thing
And it's usually a nubile young man...
It can be, though it's often far more exciting "
Phwoaaaar! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY
Come again?
Come Again - Damn Yankees
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuOAnsuZBY
Pardon?
Pardon Me – Staind
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs5pybqWDAI"
Spit it out! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
""The very first company I started failed with a great bang. The second one failed a little bit less, but still failed. The third one, you know, proper failed, but it was kind of okay. I recovered quickly. Number four almost didn’t fail. It still didn’t really feel great, but it did okay. Number five was PayPal – Max Levchin, former CTO of PayPal"
Failing at things is part of the learning "
|
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"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY
Come again?
Come Again - Damn Yankees
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuOAnsuZBY
Pardon?
Pardon Me – Staind
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs5pybqWDAI
Spit it out!"
December (Spit Me Out) - Collective Soul
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjNjDrLNlmY |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY
Come again?
Come Again - Damn Yankees
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuOAnsuZBY
Pardon?
Pardon Me – Staind
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs5pybqWDAI
Spit it out!
December (Spit Me Out) - Collective Soul
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjNjDrLNlmY"
Quoi? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my marriage failed and im so much a stronger person because of it - but i instinctively still react similarly to some people after so many years of being controlled - hate myself sometimes for that - still learning to be me i guess
No, they're triggering a memory for you. The fact that you're reflecting on it will help, sometimes we just need to explain to people why we do things or react to things in a particular way and they can help us to grow/react differently. Or walk away if the intent from them is to hurt. "
wise and sexy - love it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Failure is a lesson learnt. Next time you may be successful.
I'm quite relentless usually and try try and try again.
If it's clear it's an absolute no-go waste of time then it goes down as a rule to observe forever more.
E.g. Rule 7: Never trust a fireman (excepting an actual fire) |
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"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY
Come again?
Come Again - Damn Yankees
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuOAnsuZBY
Pardon?
Pardon Me – Staind
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs5pybqWDAI
Spit it out!
December (Spit Me Out) - Collective Soul
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjNjDrLNlmY
Quoi?"
I've seen Status Quo and Quiet Riot, but I think you have gazumped me on this one missus |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"my marriage failed and im so much a stronger person because of it - but i instinctively still react similarly to some people after so many years of being controlled - hate myself sometimes for that - still learning to be me i guess
No, they're triggering a memory for you. The fact that you're reflecting on it will help, sometimes we just need to explain to people why we do things or react to things in a particular way and they can help us to grow/react differently. Or walk away if the intent from them is to hurt.
wise and sexy - love it "
Hahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Failure is a lesson learnt. Next time you may be successful.
I'm quite relentless usually and try try and try again.
If it's clear it's an absolute no-go waste of time then it goes down as a rule to observe forever more.
E.g. Rule 7: Never trust a fireman (excepting an actual fire)"
Tell me more about rule 7 in October |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What we've got here, is failure to communicate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A
What you saying?
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eC8ASAnzhM
Say what?
Say What - Stevie Ray Vaughan
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5oKm4WmzPY
Come again?
Come Again - Damn Yankees
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtuOAnsuZBY
Pardon?
Pardon Me – Staind
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs5pybqWDAI
Spit it out!
December (Spit Me Out) - Collective Soul
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjNjDrLNlmY
Quoi?
I've seen Status Quo and Quiet Riot, but I think you have gazumped me on this one missus "
FAIL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Failure is a lesson learnt. Next time you may be successful.
I'm quite relentless usually and try try and try again.
If it's clear it's an absolute no-go waste of time then it goes down as a rule to observe forever more.
E.g. Rule 7: Never trust a fireman (excepting an actual fire)
Tell me more about rule 7 in October "
Mi bitches tell the story better haha. If you're really unlucky you can hear the stories behind the other rules...Like 'Never leave Mac unsupervised' |
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Failure is a very strong word and sounds very final.
There's nothing wrong in trying something and it not working, you just see what went wrong and do it again, learming from the previous attempt.
The only people who don't make mistakes are those who do nothing
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Failure is a lesson learnt. Next time you may be successful.
I'm quite relentless usually and try try and try again.
If it's clear it's an absolute no-go waste of time then it goes down as a rule to observe forever more.
E.g. Rule 7: Never trust a fireman (excepting an actual fire)
Tell me more about rule 7 in October
Mi bitches tell the story better haha. If you're really unlucky you can hear the stories behind the other rules...Like 'Never leave Mac unsupervised'"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Failure is a very strong word and sounds very final.
There's nothing wrong in trying something and it not working, you just see what went wrong and do it again, learming from the previous attempt.
The only people who don't make mistakes are those who do nothing
"
That's a wonderful slant -- I like that. Yes, it shouldn't be final. |
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By *elson61Man
over a year ago
WELWYN GARDEN CITY |
"It's natural to beat yourself up when it doesn't go right for you, but if you don't learn from your mistakes you just keep on making them. Who was it who said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome?
My one failure that was very disappointing at the time was training as a airfield radar technician for the RAF and 6 months into the course realising that I didn't have much of an understanding about electronics. It led to me leaving the RAF and wondering about what to do next. I didn't rush the decision, I took on a straight forward job to pay the bills and decided at leisure where to go next then went for it. It worked and it proved to be my main career, which I have now retired from.
. What a good story, thank you
You are welcome
What's the goal these days? "
I am still working, house needs to be paid for, but the main goal is to enjoy life as much as possible. And when the house is paid for to resume flying lessons and get my private pilots licence |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's natural to beat yourself up when it doesn't go right for you, but if you don't learn from your mistakes you just keep on making them. Who was it who said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome?
My one failure that was very disappointing at the time was training as a airfield radar technician for the RAF and 6 months into the course realising that I didn't have much of an understanding about electronics. It led to me leaving the RAF and wondering about what to do next. I didn't rush the decision, I took on a straight forward job to pay the bills and decided at leisure where to go next then went for it. It worked and it proved to be my main career, which I have now retired from.
. What a good story, thank you
You are welcome
What's the goal these days?
I am still working, house needs to be paid for, but the main goal is to enjoy life as much as possible. And when the house is paid for to resume flying lessons and get my private pilots licence "
Aiming for the sky! Literally!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I only skim read, so hope this hasn't been said already.
'Fail fast, fail often'
This was huge concept that was floating around silicone valley a few years ago, I'm sure it still is. It celebrates the need for failure and asks you to do it, often! How great is that?
I love it as an idea, to embrace failure, to make it part of your everyday and that doing so is the right thing. I won't repeat what others have said on embracing failure, because they are all right. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I only skim read, so hope this hasn't been said already.
'Fail fast, fail often'
This was huge concept that was floating around silicone valley a few years ago, I'm sure it still is. It celebrates the need for failure and asks you to do it, often! How great is that?
I love it as an idea, to embrace failure, to make it part of your everyday and that doing so is the right thing. I won't repeat what others have said on embracing failure, because they are all right."
Love this!!! Thankyou |
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My failures are the biggest gifts I often get, making things learned so crystal clear that I learn something perfectly.
I've had relationship stuff, learning how to tolerate someone better and the costs of not doing so.
My mistakes are so crystal clear that I can always remember the moment and place that I have permanently changed. There's no going back.
Planning failure is another one I've been through - not starting early enough and allowing contingency measures ! I've had the stress of unslept nights, working for a work deadline. So I now comfortably allow more time and get less stress. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My failures are the biggest gifts I often get, making things learned so crystal clear that I learn something perfectly.
I've had relationship stuff, learning how to tolerate someone better and the costs of not doing so.
My mistakes are so crystal clear that I can always remember the moment and place that I have permanently changed. There's no going back.
Planning failure is another one I've been through - not starting early enough and allowing contingency measures ! I've had the stress of unslept nights, working for a work deadline. So I now comfortably allow more time and get less stress."
That's brilliant! And I'm going to recognise my lessons and hold them like this, as gifts, in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm another who's only skim read this thread, but isn't failure, or trials and error, part of life?
I guess the lesson to learn is to not keep making the same mistakes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm another who's only skim read this thread, but isn't failure, or trials and error, part of life?
I guess the lesson to learn is to not keep making the same mistakes. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I tend to be a forward looker, I don't tend to look backwards so I try to take positives out of failures and move on.
Like my first swinging social, I was mega nervous, obviously so but I am who I am body and face wise and it made me realise be comfortable as who you are and I think confidence can be an attractive quality so realise you will not be one persons cup of tea but you might be for the next person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I tend to be a forward looker, I don't tend to look backwards so I try to take positives out of failures and move on.
Like my first swinging social, I was mega nervous, obviously so but I am who I am body and face wise and it made me realise be comfortable as who you are and I think confidence can be an attractive quality so realise you will not be one persons cup of tea but you might be for the next person."
A very good outlook -- hope it all went well!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tend to be a forward looker, I don't tend to look backwards so I try to take positives out of failures and move on.
Like my first swinging social, I was mega nervous, obviously so but I am who I am body and face wise and it made me realise be comfortable as who you are and I think confidence can be an attractive quality so realise you will not be one persons cup of tea but you might be for the next person.
A very good outlook -- hope it all went well!! "
Not aswell as I wanted too at the time but thats where I took the positives x |
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Making mistakes is part of the process of taking risks.
Taking a risk means stepping out of your safe zone. It's a risk that you take to better, or improve, yourself.
I try and learn from the mistakes that I've made and keep taking risks for the things that I want...
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I tend to be a forward looker, I don't tend to look backwards so I try to take positives out of failures and move on.
Like my first swinging social, I was mega nervous, obviously so but I am who I am body and face wise and it made me realise be comfortable as who you are and I think confidence can be an attractive quality so realise you will not be one persons cup of tea but you might be for the next person.
A very good outlook -- hope it all went well!!
Not aswell as I wanted too at the time but thats where I took the positives x"
Good on you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Making mistakes is part of the process of taking risks.
Taking a risk means stepping out of your safe zone. It's a risk that you take to better, or improve, yourself.
I try and learn from the mistakes that I've made and keep taking risks for the things that I want...
"
Risky business |
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www.youtube.com/watch?gl=PL&hl=pl&v=_VU9DjQpvMQ
