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Armed forces people- hard to love?
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"Are they, I'm talking about long in the tooth, been in all their lives and seen lots of shit. How do you get someone to feel and be sensitive when they've been broken down and built back up? " Dunno. My dad served in the regular army for over 22 years and then joined the TA when he left. Hes been married to my mum for 47 years. He's my hero too. | |||
"Are they, I'm talking about long in the tooth, been in all their lives and seen lots of shit. How do you get someone to feel and be sensitive when they've been broken down and built back up? " . they start with a quality item in the first place | |||
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 cos it feels like he needs it! | |||
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"I'm ex services. I'll leave you to ponder that. "Me too.. OP; I think you are making a huge generalisation..lots of civilians get broken as well.. | |||
"Like the one I know was married but she left him basically because of his job. He's adamant now that no woman can handle the amount of time he's away and shit. Said that he would only have another relationship when he's done his 22 and left. Now he joined at 16 but didn't join the paras till he was 18 so I dunno if they count from 16 or 18? Anyway this particular guy 'checks in' with me every 6 months or there abouts. Been like this for 3 years now since we proper dated in 2014. Like sometimes he doesn't even want a shag, genuinely just wants to hang out and watch films and just talk whenever he comes back from anywhere. Feel like he's so damaged but at the same time he genuinely genuinely doesn't need anyone, he'd happily be on his own for the rest of his life. I don't get it, he's like damaged but emotionally strong as well and I just want to smother him in love cos it feels like he needs it! ". Ahhh, I had a feeling it was him you were talking about  the last thread we chatted on about him, I remember saying that you needed to let him love you, now we are talking him letting you love him, you two are such a match I think you need and want each other, some would say it won't work as you both have your history, not me, I say your history will bring you together and help you understand each other  imho I think it's time op, you need this in your life, so go get him and smother the fuck out of him Mrs blue eyes | |||
"Just give the guy time to chill in his own way , if you can't handle that kind of relationship & you find it frustrating maybe he's not for you at this time ? " I can't give him anymore time to chill. I never bother him, I never know when he's in uk or not until I hear my WhatsApp alert (I put him on his own ringtone) I can't even sack him off cos he's isn't mine to get rid of and besides, he fascinates me. If I had someone significant in my life then I wouldn't meet up with him. | |||
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"Are they, I'm talking about long in the tooth, been in all their lives and seen lots of shit. How do you get someone to feel and be sensitive when they've been broken down and built back up? Dunno. My dad served in the regular army for over 22 years and then joined the TA when he left. Hes been married to my mum for 47 years. He's my hero too. " Sounds like my ex husband,not the married to your mum bit. | |||
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"Like the one I know was married but she left him basically because of his job. He's adamant now that no woman can handle the amount of time he's away and shit. Said that he would only have another relationship when he's done his 22 and left. Now he joined at 16 but didn't join the paras till he was 18 so I dunno if they count from 16 or 18? Anyway this particular guy 'checks in' with me every 6 months or there abouts. Been like this for 3 years now since we proper dated in 2014. Like sometimes he doesn't even want a shag, genuinely just wants to hang out and watch films and just talk whenever he comes back from anywhere. Feel like he's so damaged but at the same time he genuinely genuinely doesn't need anyone, he'd happily be on his own for the rest of his life. I don't get it, he's like damaged but emotionally strong as well and I just want to smother him in love cos it feels like he needs it! . Ahhh, I had a feeling it was him you were talking about the last thread we chatted on about him, I remember saying that you needed to let him love you, now we are talking him letting you love him, you two are such a match I think you need and want each other, some would say it won't work as you both have your history, not me, I say your history will bring you together and help you understand each other imho I think it's time op, you need this in your life, so go get him and smother the fuck out of him Mrs blue eyes "Nah he doesn't need anyone, I told him he'd be like that guy on harry brown all old and alone and kids will shove dog shit through his letterbox. He just laughs and agrees. It's like the one person who gets under your skin cos you know they aren't arsed. We won't end up together I just wonder if there's any link to being in a role like his where it's all guys and being so self sufficient and emotionally strong that you genuinely feel like you don't need anyone. | |||
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"Love sucks doesn't it hun. I think you are doing the right thing taking him at his pace, but does he know how you feel? He may be holding back cos he's as unsure as you. Don't leave it too long in telling him if he doesn't know. Love can fade away and it's sad when that happens but we carnt force ourselves to feel what's not there. PTU xxx" Yeah I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel. When we were dating I told him and that's what freaked him out and was basically told not to have feelings for him cos he can't be doing with worrying what someone's up to back home when he's away and that he can't communicate and basically all the things his ex wife had told him she couldn't put up with anymore. He doesn't want me but he likes me if that makes sense, he's a dear friend who I do care about cos he's doing dangerous stuff I suppose with regards to the way the world is now. I have massive respect for him then and he's got a motorbike and a big penis and a nice accent! | |||
"My wife endured my transition back into civvy land, took a fews but she stuck by me, i still have trouble with emotions.. dont cry at funerals etc. But if a dog/horse dies in a movie, im blubbering! "Not being funny but your wife would help a lot of guys in a lot of situations, she's über hot! | |||
"Like the one I know was married but she left him basically because of his job. He's adamant now that no woman can handle the amount of time he's away and shit. Said that he would only have another relationship when he's done his 22 and left. Now he joined at 16 but didn't join the paras till he was 18 so I dunno if they count from 16 or 18? Anyway this particular guy 'checks in' with me every 6 months or there abouts. Been like this for 3 years now since we proper dated in 2014. Like sometimes he doesn't even want a shag, genuinely just wants to hang out and watch films and just talk whenever he comes back from anywhere. Feel like he's so damaged but at the same time he genuinely genuinely doesn't need anyone, he'd happily be on his own for the rest of his life. I don't get it, he's like damaged but emotionally strong as well and I just want to smother him in love cos it feels like he needs it! . Ahhh, I had a feeling it was him you were talking about the last thread we chatted on about him, I remember saying that you needed to let him love you, now we are talking him letting you love him, you two are such a match I think you need and want each other, some would say it won't work as you both have your history, not me, I say your history will bring you together and help you understand each other imho I think it's time op, you need this in your life, so go get him and smother the fuck out of him Mrs blue eyes
Nah he doesn't need anyone, I told him he'd be like that guy on harry brown all old and alone and kids will shove dog shit through his letterbox. He just laughs and agrees.
It's like the one person who gets under your skin cos you know they aren't arsed. We won't end up together I just wonder if there's any link to being in a role like his where it's all guys and being so self sufficient and emotionally strong that you genuinely feel like you don't need anyone. ". You are describing him in two different contexts though, you describe him as his role in the army, emotionally strong, self sufficient, never needing anyone, yet something inside you see's something different, something feels a need in him to be loved, I'd say that you're not imagining that when you give him a direct statement of how you see him in terms of his army role and th't role crossing over to his personal life, then he will almost always agree with you, it's human nature and his instinct will be that he needs to not let his gaurd down, he's been taught thatbut inside he could be screaming to tell you he needs you almost all of us, no matter how tough we are, how life has dealt our cards and shaped us, we all have an ache to be loved Mrs blue eyes | |||
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"Love sucks doesn't it hun. I think you are doing the right thing taking him at his pace, but does he know how you feel? He may be holding back cos he's as unsure as you. Don't leave it too long in telling him if he doesn't know. Love can fade away and it's sad when that happens but we carnt force ourselves to feel what's not there. PTU xxx Yeah I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel. When we were dating I told him and that's what freaked him out and was basically told not to have feelings for him cos he can't be doing with worrying what someone's up to back home when he's away and that he can't communicate and basically all the things his ex wife had told him she couldn't put up with anymore. He doesn't want me but he likes me if that makes sense, he's a dear friend who I do care about cos he's doing dangerous stuff I suppose with regards to the way the world is now. I have massive respect for him then and he's got a motorbike and a big penis and a nice accent! " Yes that makes perfect sense, best thing for you to do then Is love him when you are together but try not to get too attached as he won't be able to give you his all. I've had simler with a teenage love, he didn't want me when we were teen. He only wanted me for blow jobs. Now he wants me as adults but he can't understand why I've moved on.  xxx | |||
"My wife endured my transition back into civvy land, took a fews but she stuck by me, i still have trouble with emotions.. dont cry at funerals etc. But if a dog/horse dies in a movie, im blubbering!
Not being funny but your wife would help a lot of guys in a lot of situations, she's über hot! "That she is.. but she is a one man woman.. women on the other hand, she is greedy!!  | |||
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"My wife endured my transition back into civvy land, took a fews but she stuck by me, i still have trouble with emotions.. dont cry at funerals etc. But if a dog/horse dies in a movie, im blubbering! "Ditto with my Hubby! | |||
