FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A question of monogamy
A question of monogamy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can see people going from monogamy to the swingers scene/life style, but I can't see the reverse happening.
Do people ever try to go back to a monogamous relationship, does it work out, or is it once a swinger always a swinger? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely- when in a full on relationship I'm completely monogamous. For me that's a major point.
It's also the difference between sex and making love.
Personally , when I'm in love with someone I wouldn't want to share them with someone else - and I wouldn't want to sleep with other people.
I know many people may feel differently - especially on here - and that's perfectly fine if all parties are happy. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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not a swinger here, but if you hadn't guessed i do enjoy 3sums.
i wouldn't find it hard to be mentally monogamous and be in love with one person, and have done this several times now. and sexually i wouldn't find it that hard if they also had a high sex drive, but i would miss having occasional 3sums. |
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"Definitely- when in a full on relationship I'm completely monogamous. For me that's a major point.
It's also the difference between sex and making love.
Personally , when I'm in love with someone I wouldn't want to share them with someone else - and I wouldn't want to sleep with other people.
"
Ditto. I'm not really a swinger so no problem walking away.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say most people on here aren't life style swingers and would walk away if they were in a relationship. For me swinging is a way to make new friends and have fun until I meet someone. |
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Depends on how you define monogamy, because sometimes the other 'option' is polyamory.
But in terms of sexual monogamy, we have great fun swinging but have a great 1:1 sex life too. We would go to 1:1 with no issue if we stopped swinging for any reason. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's interesting. So, would it be safe to say that most regard this site as a place to find FB's or FWB's rather than being a 'hardcore' swinger?
I think to myself that I might find it hard to be monogamous (both physically and mentally). I've met some really great women and couples on this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mentally we are monogamous, we love each other and aren't looking for anyone else.
Physically we enjoy sharing each other, but would happily walk away with each other if one of us changed our mind about swinging x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's interesting. So, would it be safe to say that most regard this site as a place to find FB's or FWB's rather than being a 'hardcore' swinger?
I think to myself that I might find it hard to be monogamous (both physically and mentally). I've met some really great women and couples on this site."
There's people who've said they aren't swingers. I don't think anyone has mentioned 'hardcore swingers' - whatever that is. |
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"That's interesting. So, would it be safe to say that most regard this site as a place to find FB's or FWB's rather than being a 'hardcore' swinger?
I think to myself that I might find it hard to be monogamous (both physically and mentally). I've met some really great women and couples on this site."
I think people come in all sorts of varieties. Some will enjoy swinging (whatever their definition of it is) for life, some will enjoy a brief period of experimentation, some will dip in and out. Like most things as long as you're honest with yourself and any partners and have no intention of harming anyone, why overthink it or put a label on it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's interesting. So, would it be safe to say that most regard this site as a place to find FB's or FWB's rather than being a 'hardcore' swinger?
I think to myself that I might find it hard to be monogamous (both physically and mentally). I've met some really great women and couples on this site."
There are not many actual swingers on fab. Most are songles/cheaters looking for a quick shag.
Does make me chuckle when i see singles referring to tgemselves as swingers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's interesting. So, would it be safe to say that most regard this site as a place to find FB's or FWB's rather than being a 'hardcore' swinger?
I think to myself that I might find it hard to be monogamous (both physically and mentally). I've met some really great women and couples on this site.
There are not many actual swingers on fab. Most are songles/cheaters looking for a quick shag.
Does make me chuckle when i see singles referring to tgemselves as swingers "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's interesting. So, would it be safe to say that most regard this site as a place to find FB's or FWB's rather than being a 'hardcore' swinger?
I think to myself that I might find it hard to be monogamous (both physically and mentally). I've met some really great women and couples on this site.
There are not many actual swingers on fab. Most are songles/cheaters looking for a quick shag.
Does make me chuckle when i see singles referring to tgemselves as swingers "
Singles* themselves *  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Statistically less than half of people in monogamous relationshions are faithful to them (30-40%) so i do find the volume of statments to the tune of "I'd quit fab for love" to be curious. "
Perhaps monogamy and love are not quite the same thing?
But for me wherever and if ever I found that love that made my first and last thought and all the ones in between each day was another's happiness then why would i want to be anywhere else or with anyone else...
But until then...  |
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"Statistically less than half of people in monogamous relationshions are faithful to them (30-40%) so i do find the volume of statments to the tune of "I'd quit fab for love" to be curious.
Perhaps monogamy and love are not quite the same thing?
But for me wherever and if ever I found that love that made my first and last thought and all the ones in between each day was another's happiness then why would i want to be anywhere else or with anyone else...
But until then... "
First and last thought! Put down the book and step away from the disney collection, bro |
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"Statistically less than half of people in monogamous relationshions are faithful to them (30-40%) so i do find the volume of statments to the tune of "I'd quit fab for love" to be curious. "
Possibly the unfaithful ones or ones who wouldn't stop wouldn't post?
If you are in a relationship and can't stop swinging, I would think there are already issues. |
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"Statistically less than half of people in monogamous relationshions are faithful to them (30-40%) so i do find the volume of statments to the tune of "I'd quit fab for love" to be curious.
Possibly the unfaithful ones or ones who wouldn't stop wouldn't post?
If you are in a relationship and can't stop swinging, I would think there are already issues."
I wouldn't get into a relationship that didn't involve swinging because i dont want to exert energy on a social practice that goes against my nature.
If i was looking for the 16% of people in marriages that don't incur infedility then i would start my search in the mormon church or audience of university challenge, rather than fab. 16% is also an overestimate too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a serial monogamist.
I would love to find 'the one' but cant see it happening so will carry on dipping in and out of the swinging world until someone special comes along. |
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I guess we are lucky as we had the first year together without even a thought of swinging . We then started enjoying the thrill of this lifestyle , and got married another year later . And now , having been married for almost 5 years and swinging for 6 , we wouldn't go back to monogamy .
We have everything we could possibly want , and see no reason to stop |
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"Definitely- when in a full on relationship I'm completely monogamous. For me that's a major point.
It's also the difference between sex and making love.
Personally , when I'm in love with someone I wouldn't want to share them with someone else - and I wouldn't want to sleep with other people.
I know many people may feel differently - especially on here - and that's perfectly fine if all parties are happy. "
My thoughts exactly but not a wise move to proclaim that on here as that's not what the site is for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive always said im not a swinger..
no interest in women or 3sums
Id gladly walk away and attempt a 'happily ever after' with one man "
wow a woman not interested in women thank the lord they do exist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive always said im not a swinger..
no interest in women or 3sums
Id gladly walk away and attempt a 'happily ever after' with one man wow a woman not interested in women thank the lord they do exist "
Why is that so strange?
Not interested in women either. I thought the holy grail here was a bi woman. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If I found "the one" I would be very selfish indeed.
Might be one of those where ".. You find your own tree..."
(Good star of you know the reference lol). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes the site is called fab swingers but it's used for a variety of different things.... Social, meeting friends, fuck buddies, group sex, swinging etc...
Yes there are fakers but you get that on every site.
Monogomy is an interesting debate as always but everyone here is free to use the site as they see fit, most of the fab community doesn't judge, no matter what their personal beliefs are....
Me personally could never go back to the norm,no matter who I'm with. It's not part of who I am and physically I want to do things that simply involve more than one person... However as someone has said already, mentally I belong to my cuckquean... When I'm past , she is the only person I want to be with. |
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"That's interesting. So, would it be safe to say that most regard this site as a place to find FB's or FWB's rather than being a 'hardcore' swinger?
I think to myself that I might find it hard to be monogamous (both physically and mentally). I've met some really great women and couples on this site.
There are not many actual swingers on fab. Most are songles/cheaters looking for a quick shag.
Does make me chuckle when i see singles referring to tgemselves as swingers
Singles* themselves * "
So if you too were to seperate and wanted you next relationship to still be a swingers one, but until you found that next relationship you still also stayed in the scene,so you mindset towards the lifestyle hasn't changed, are you not a swinger merely because your single? |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"Statistically less than half of people in monogamous relationshions are faithful to them (30-40%) so i do find the volume of statments to the tune of "I'd quit fab for love" to be curious.
Possibly the unfaithful ones or ones who wouldn't stop wouldn't post?
If you are in a relationship and can't stop swinging, I would think there are already issues."
i did consider 'swinging' for a while because i felt it was waste of time investing myself in one man, they tend to let you down anyway, but i do get that's not really swinging and more keeping my options open.
so i do think some issues can make swinging more appealing. |
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I think I'd be better off with a swinging partner than a monogamous relationship.