FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Polite guys who thank you for taking the time out to reply to them
Polite guys who thank you for taking the time out to reply to them
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's nice to get a no thank you reply.
I always thank the lady and move on.
Doesn't mean I don't put them on my hotlist and lust after them.
No reply or no delete leaves an unfinished air to it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Almost all of my no thank you messages get a thanks for replying reply. "
that's cool good to know there is some real men with manners as often all we here is about the whiners and whingers
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah some do. But some carry on the conversation after that and it just drags out and makes me feel awkward...  "
but then you can just say sorry not interested and block x |
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I used to say thank you for replying if I was rejected but then I thought I was just adding yet another message to a probably already full inbox.
So now I tend not to bother, but am still thankful for the reply of course  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to say thank you for replying if I was rejected but then I thought I was just adding yet another message to a probably already full inbox.
So now I tend not to bother, but am still thankful for the reply of course "
^^this  |
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By *cott89Man
over a year ago
prestatyn |
im yet to get a reply but if i did get one and it was a "rejection" i woul take it on the chin and thank them, women get so much attention its flattering they would even take the time to say no thank you, people on this site need to realise we are all people and all have different wants and needs so we should all just be nice and respectfull not mean or cry babies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please ."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please ."
Nope no polite post rejection messages. I've been told I'm rude and been blocked for suggesting reading my profile might have been an idea before messaging me.
I have had some polite conversations with guys who did take the time to read my profile and just wanted to chat. |
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"It's nice to get a no thank you reply.
I always thank the lady and move on.
Doesn't mean I don't put them on my hotlist and lust after them.
No reply or no delete leaves an unfinished air to it."
I will send a 'Thanks for replying' message, then block them and move on. What's the point of clogging up your searches with profiles of people who aren't interested in you?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please . "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This one time.......(at band camp),
no seriously, this one time I had THE nicest response to a Thank you but no thank you email I sent.
I then had to respond to let him know precisely how polite and respectful his message was.
He wasn't my type but I really wanted to change my mind, he was just sooo lovely and came across as such a lovely person but I didn't.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well im old school,guess i was brought up to always say please and thankyou..
so yes from me , i always say " thanks for taking the time to reply " takes 30 seconds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wish men wouldn't thank us for the reply. The only reason we might send a rejection message is because we don't like to be rude. But that certainly doesn't mean we want another message - we just want to say no thanks and move on. Admittedly we are more and more going by for the delete now because of this, which is ironic because I'm sure the act of thanking for a reply is intended to have the opposite effect.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world 
Oh you harsh lady. Note to one's self don't message if your easily upset.  "
I did within the first week of joining but then it just got tedious so I didn't bother. If it's a really nice message then I might possibly reply if I'm feeling kind, but it's highly unlikely. I know it looks like I'm a meanie and maybe I am, but my friends find it hard to get a reply from me so the lovely people of fab have no hope. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some did reply with a polite message back. Some thanked us for taking the time to reply
However, some of those then wanted us to accept their friend request which we thought was odd as we had just told them that they were not for us
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i often get a thank you for replying..which is nice...but as the vast majority of the messages are from men who haven't either read or taken the slightest bit of my profile, they may have better manners than the minority who can be nasty,they're completely wasting their time in the first place..which doesn't really make them 'the good guys' to me...maybe the 'well-meaning but slightly dumb' or 'well meaning but a bit lazy'..don't know, but it baffles me..why bother in the first place? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will always thank anyone who replies, Its common courtesy. I understand that these people get a lot of messages everyday, so taking the time to read and reply obviously deserves a respectful reply. |
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I always try to reply even if they are not what we are looking for. Sometimes it's hard to but if they are polite to me then I'm polite to them back. Rude guys don't get a reply but I have had many lovely single males be lovely when we tell them we are not interested. I just try not to tar everyone with the same brush. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world "
I'm torn as to how to reply when I'm not interested as people get bent out of shape no matter how you do it. I know I'm not obligated to reply at all but some people don't seem to think that's the case.
I replied to a message from a guy propositioning me to say I wasn't interested in guys and that if he'd read my profile he'd have known that. He told me not to be so rude, no thanks would have done and suggested I should change my message filters if I didn't want guys to message me. I told him I thought he was rude for not bothering to read my profile then blocked him. I don't want to block all messages from men, quite happy to chat.
I didn't reply to a message from someone earlier today because their profile didn't interest me so I just deleted the message. I then got another message saying I should change my profile to say I'm judgemental and don't speak to TVs and they then blocked me. No issue with them being a TV, I just wasn't interested in what they had to say and didn't feel the need to justify that.
A simple "not interested" has hit and miss responses... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world
I'm torn as to how to reply when I'm not interested as people get bent out of shape no matter how you do it. I know I'm not obligated to reply at all but some people don't seem to think that's the case.
I replied to a message from a guy propositioning me to say I wasn't interested in guys and that if he'd read my profile he'd have known that. He told me not to be so rude, no thanks would have done and suggested I should change my message filters if I didn't want guys to message me. I told him I thought he was rude for not bothering to read my profile then blocked him. I don't want to block all messages from men, quite happy to chat.
I didn't reply to a message from someone earlier today because their profile didn't interest me so I just deleted the message. I then got another message saying I should change my profile to say I'm judgemental and don't speak to TVs and they then blocked me. No issue with them being a TV, I just wasn't interested in what they had to say and didn't feel the need to justify that.
A simple "not interested" has hit and miss responses..."
The way you list them all is weird. It's like you get a sense of self worth and control from rejecting desperate men online. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world
I'm torn as to how to reply when I'm not interested as people get bent out of shape no matter how you do it. I know I'm not obligated to reply at all but some people don't seem to think that's the case.
I replied to a message from a guy propositioning me to say I wasn't interested in guys and that if he'd read my profile he'd have known that. He told me not to be so rude, no thanks would have done and suggested I should change my message filters if I didn't want guys to message me. I told him I thought he was rude for not bothering to read my profile then blocked him. I don't want to block all messages from men, quite happy to chat.
I didn't reply to a message from someone earlier today because their profile didn't interest me so I just deleted the message. I then got another message saying I should change my profile to say I'm judgemental and don't speak to TVs and they then blocked me. No issue with them being a TV, I just wasn't interested in what they had to say and didn't feel the need to justify that.
A simple "not interested" has hit and miss responses...
The way you list them all is weird. It's like you get a sense of self worth and control from rejecting desperate men online."
Odd conclusion to reach. No sense of self worth or control. Actually feeling a little sad and out of my depth. And I didn't say any of them were desperate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world
I'm torn as to how to reply when I'm not interested as people get bent out of shape no matter how you do it. I know I'm not obligated to reply at all but some people don't seem to think that's the case.
I replied to a message from a guy propositioning me to say I wasn't interested in guys and that if he'd read my profile he'd have known that. He told me not to be so rude, no thanks would have done and suggested I should change my message filters if I didn't want guys to message me. I told him I thought he was rude for not bothering to read my profile then blocked him. I don't want to block all messages from men, quite happy to chat.
I didn't reply to a message from someone earlier today because their profile didn't interest me so I just deleted the message. I then got another message saying I should change my profile to say I'm judgemental and don't speak to TVs and they then blocked me. No issue with them being a TV, I just wasn't interested in what they had to say and didn't feel the need to justify that.
A simple "not interested" has hit and miss responses..."
As you said, people get bent out of shape no matter what you do. So you're best of doing what is right for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world
I'm torn as to how to reply when I'm not interested as people get bent out of shape no matter how you do it. I know I'm not obligated to reply at all but some people don't seem to think that's the case.
I replied to a message from a guy propositioning me to say I wasn't interested in guys and that if he'd read my profile he'd have known that. He told me not to be so rude, no thanks would have done and suggested I should change my message filters if I didn't want guys to message me. I told him I thought he was rude for not bothering to read my profile then blocked him. I don't want to block all messages from men, quite happy to chat.
I didn't reply to a message from someone earlier today because their profile didn't interest me so I just deleted the message. I then got another message saying I should change my profile to say I'm judgemental and don't speak to TVs and they then blocked me. No issue with them being a TV, I just wasn't interested in what they had to say and didn't feel the need to justify that.
A simple "not interested" has hit and miss responses...
As you said, people get bent out of shape no matter what you do. So you're best of doing what is right for you. "
Thanks |
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Most of them are ignorant and don't even reply they just delete your message which I think is rude and ignorant and you talk about Cyber babies what about the older people they don't even get a look in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of them are ignorant and don't even reply they just delete your message which I think is rude and ignorant and you talk about Cyber babies what about the older people they don't even get a look in"
What you whinging about,your a super model |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't send a response thanking them - I figure they aren't interested and don't want to hear from me so I get on with my life."
To be fair I'm pretty shit at replying at the best of times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't send a response thanking them - I figure they aren't interested and don't want to hear from me so I get on with my life.
To be fair I'm pretty shit at replying at the best of times."
I'm going to test this. Now. I expect no reply. |
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"Most of them are ignorant and don't even reply they just delete your message which I think is rude and ignorant and you talk about Cyber babies what about the older people they don't even get a look in"
No wonder your doing so well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world
I'm torn as to how to reply when I'm not interested as people get bent out of shape no matter how you do it. I know I'm not obligated to reply at all but some people don't seem to think that's the case."
I wouldn't worry about replying. They are strangers that you don't owe anything to. I have been lucky as I haven't received any abuse from deleting messages and the majority of people seem to understand that a deleted message is a no thanks. Give your time and attention to the people that interest you, after all that's what your here for. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish men wouldn't thank us for the reply. The only reason we might send a rejection message is because we don't like to be rude. But that certainly doesn't mean we want another message - we just want to say no thanks and move on. Admittedly we are more and more going by for the delete now because of this, which is ironic because I'm sure the act of thanking for a reply is intended to have the opposite effect.
Mrs"
It seems my above comment has caused offence. It honestly wasn't intended. Maybe I was a bit harsh in how I expressed it, but I apologise to anybody on this thread who was offended. I was just explaining that i feel it should be left once someone has politely said 'no thank you'.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow I meant for this thread to be a positive spin on the usual all men are shits forum threads and by in large mission complete but I do understand there are exceptions as in all cross sections of society . Hopefully next time a single guy messages someone and is rejected he will say thank you for your time move and a ripple effect will occur and I'm time all the shit single guy threads will dry up bit alas it may just be a bizarre dream! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please ."
Op. By not sending another pm to them. they accept it as a polite 'thank you, no worries'.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please ."
I send a thanks/have fun, but it's so rare that I get a response in the first place, that I usually don't have to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please .
Op. By not sending another pm to them. they accept it as a polite 'thank you, no worries'. "
true but sometimes if they rave about impolite people on their profile it's nice to redress the balance and who knows maybe the next guy might stand a better chance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please .
Op. By not sending another pm to them. they accept it as a polite 'thank you, no worries'. true but sometimes if they rave about impolite people on their profile it's nice to redress the balance and who knows maybe the next guy might stand a better chance"
We are big on politeness. Anybody who knows us would confirm that. We respond to text messages in a timely manner, we always tern up on time, and we do our best to reply to Fab messages etc. But I do feel there is a fine line between politeness and intrusiveness. IMO a higher level of politeness is recognising and respecting when to back off.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well im old school,guess i was brought up to always say please and thankyou..
so yes from me , i always say " thanks for taking the time to reply " takes 30 seconds."
I agree, I was brought up that manners cost nothing & a please/thank you is basic manners & politeness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well im old school,guess i was brought up to always say please and thankyou..
so yes from me , i always say " thanks for taking the time to reply " takes 30 seconds.
I agree, I was brought up that manners cost nothing & a please/thank you is basic manners & politeness. "
But what if that person doesn't want you to say 'thanks for taking the time to reply'? Its likely their preference that you just politely leave it after their polite rejection message. To not respect their wishes is surely rude? Not having a go. Just food for thought.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow I meant for this thread to be a positive spin on the usual all men are shits forum threads and by in large mission complete but I do understand there are exceptions as in all cross sections of society . Hopefully next time a single guy messages someone and is rejected he will say thank you for your time move and a ripple effect will occur and I'm time all the shit single guy threads will dry up bit alas it may just be a bizarre dream!"
Not all guys are bad. Just a few are. On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ladies I always read threads where single guys are condemned for being let's be honest crybaby's for being rejected but surely you must also get replies from guys who say thank you no worries or is that not something you've experienced.i think its time to redress the balance and remind people there are goos guys and praise them ,your thoughts please ."
We very rarely get a reply from a guy saying thank you. We often get abusive replies though ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute "
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment. "
Reactions from a male who's been rejected can show if he's polite or not. He might not reply out of reaspect. He may reply with a quick 'thanks'. I dunno, I can only observe on these threads.
Reactions from profiles who do the rejecting can also be judged wether they're truly polite as well.
Fuck them little shits.?? Cute. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment.
Reactions from a male who's been rejected can show if he's polite or not. He might not reply out of reaspect. He may reply with a quick 'thanks'. I dunno, I can only observe on these threads.
Reactions from profiles who do the rejecting can also be judged wether they're truly polite as well.
Fuck them little shits.?? Cute. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment. "
Yes I thought it was odd the way that guy announced to the thread that he was going to block people.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment.
Reactions from a male who's been rejected can show if he's polite or not. He might not reply out of reaspect. He may reply with a quick 'thanks'. I dunno, I can only observe on these threads.
Reactions from profiles who do the rejecting can also be judged wether they're truly polite as well.
Fuck them little shits.?? Cute. "
If somebody is being a little shit they don't deserve politeness (whatever that means on here) - and there are clear examples of that on this thread. You selectively quoted that poster, she said there were examples, she wasn't applying it to all men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment.
Yes I thought it was odd the way that guy announced to the thread that he was going to block people.
Mrs"
Most guys write polite messages or polite posts. Some make it their life"s mission to be as aggressive as possible; like the one who was tearing into the woman by telling her that she had inflated self-worth; we can't see how he came to that conclusion. Maybe he should look at himself and wonder why nobody even talks to him. Vicious circle; make oneself look like an arse; people avoid you; become bitter and make yourself look like a bigger arse
We have met plenty of single guys in clubs. The ones who we had fun with came over, chatted with absolutely no expectations (or hid those well). The ones walking around like entitled peacocks finally joined the zombie brigade
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment.
Reactions from a male who's been rejected can show if he's polite or not. He might not reply out of reaspect. He may reply with a quick 'thanks'. I dunno, I can only observe on these threads.
Reactions from profiles who do the rejecting can also be judged wether they're truly polite as well.
Fuck them little shits.?? Cute. "
Why are you quoting me in part only? Is it to twist my post to make some weird point of yours?
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment.
Yes I thought it was odd the way that guy announced to the thread that he was going to block people.
Mrs
Most guys write polite messages or polite posts. Some make it their life"s mission to be as aggressive as possible; like the one who was tearing into the woman by telling her that she had inflated self-worth; we can't see how he came to that conclusion. Maybe he should look at himself and wonder why nobody even talks to him. Vicious circle; make oneself look like an arse; people avoid you; become bitter and make yourself look like a bigger arse
We have met plenty of single guys in clubs. The ones who we had fun with came over, chatted with absolutely no expectations (or hid those well). The ones walking around like entitled peacocks finally joined the zombie brigade
- Mrs. J -"
Insecurity that makes men behave like this maybe? Fortunately I've really only seen it on the forums. The men we've met at clubs are nearly always self-confident men who know how to enjoy themselves. There may have been a few who don't get it, and they may be the same ones who get angry on the forums. But you are right this is a vicious circle fir these guys. Going off topic though - sorry OP
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment.
Yes I thought it was odd the way that guy announced to the thread that he was going to block people.
Mrs
Most guys write polite messages or polite posts. Some make it their life"s mission to be as aggressive as possible; like the one who was tearing into the woman by telling her that she had inflated self-worth; we can't see how he came to that conclusion. Maybe he should look at himself and wonder why nobody even talks to him. Vicious circle; make oneself look like an arse; people avoid you; become bitter and make yourself look like a bigger arse
We have met plenty of single guys in clubs. The ones who we had fun with came over, chatted with absolutely no expectations (or hid those well). The ones walking around like entitled peacocks finally joined the zombie brigade
- Mrs. J -
Insecurity that makes men behave like this maybe? Fortunately I've really only seen it on the forums. The men we've met at clubs are nearly always self-confident men who know how to enjoy themselves. There may have been a few who don't get it, and they may be the same ones who get angry on the forums. But you are right this is a vicious circle fir these guys. Going off topic though - sorry OP
Mrs"
I don't think it's off topic.
I can see what the OP is trying to do by 'redressing the balance' but it's doomed to fail. |
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Amazing....
So men who don't agree with the 'no reply' is the best way forward are 'little shits' ??
It's a question of manners, pure and simple. A simple reply to say thanks and no thanks takes seconds to send, after which I feel it is good manners to return the message and say thank you for taking the time to reply. If individuals are of a different opinion, as absolutely is their prerogative, and find it best to simply ignore then I see it as bad manners and therefore will block them, as is my prerogative too.
Yes it is personal, I feel we would never get on so why wouldn't I block them?? Am I not allowed to block those who I am not interested in, does that make me a 'little shit'.
And what I find amazing is the very people who 'don't have time to reply to all those messages from men' are the very same key board warriors you see in the forums, in almost every thread, over and over again..... not as busy as they claim I would suggest!!
End of the day everyone has a right to behave as they see best, those who reply, those who don't, those who don't block, and those who do, but it certainly doesn't make anyone 'little shits'!!
HG |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this thread alone we have seen a couple of examples of some angry little shits who feel entitled. Fuck them and their bitterness
- Mrs. J -
Cute
True though. See the guy with his 'I know who to block now' comment.
Yes I thought it was odd the way that guy announced to the thread that he was going to block people.
Mrs
Most guys write polite messages or polite posts. Some make it their life"s mission to be as aggressive as possible; like the one who was tearing into the woman by telling her that she had inflated self-worth; we can't see how he came to that conclusion. Maybe he should look at himself and wonder why nobody even talks to him. Vicious circle; make oneself look like an arse; people avoid you; become bitter and make yourself look like a bigger arse
We have met plenty of single guys in clubs. The ones who we had fun with came over, chatted with absolutely no expectations (or hid those well). The ones walking around like entitled peacocks finally joined the zombie brigade
- Mrs. J -
Insecurity that makes men behave like this maybe? Fortunately I've really only seen it on the forums. The men we've met at clubs are nearly always self-confident men who know how to enjoy themselves. There may have been a few who don't get it, and they may be the same ones who get angry on the forums. But you are right this is a vicious circle fir these guys. Going off topic though - sorry OP
Mrs
I don't think it's off topic.
I can see what the OP is trying to do by 'redressing the balance' but it's doomed to fail. "
The reason we stopped replying with a "no thanks" is because some came back with a "why not?" type of argument. Sometimes I really felt like telling them that I was simply not attracted to what I saw. But that, when I did a few times, escalated into quite a different level of abuse
I then started blocking profiles where the message did not interest me. But that too, in one instance, ended up with him pointing it out on the forums. I know that is against forum rules but I just let it go
Now, i have just filtered out single men. We were told several times to do the searching ourselves and that is what I will do. However, I must say that the men we have meet in clubs, by and large, are polite and much more attractive and therefore, for the moment, I will concentrate my efforts there
Those who insist that their message be responded to with a "no thanks" would do well by reading the site rules. And then they can challenge the site owners to change those rules
-Mrs J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Amazing....
So men who don't agree with the 'no reply' is the best way forward are 'little shits' ??
It's a question of manners, pure and simple. A simple reply to say thanks and no thanks takes seconds to send, after which I feel it is good manners to return the message and say thank you for taking the time to reply. If individuals are of a different opinion, as absolutely is their prerogative, and find it best to simply ignore then I see it as bad manners and therefore will block them, as is my prerogative too.
Yes it is personal, I feel we would never get on so why wouldn't I block them?? Am I not allowed to block those who I am not interested in, does that make me a 'little shit'.
And what I find amazing is the very people who 'don't have time to reply to all those messages from men' are the very same key board warriors you see in the forums, in almost every thread, over and over again..... not as busy as they claim I would suggest!!
End of the day everyone has a right to behave as they see best, those who reply, those who don't, those who don't block, and those who do, but it certainly doesn't make anyone 'little shits'!!
HG"
So you feel you're entitled to a reply then? This sense of entitlement is a huge turn off for me.
Many people don't bother replying to messages that don't interest then as that invites further messages from someone they don't want to talk to. And quite often a ton of verbal abuse about how we think we're too good for them or an attempt to change our mind.
But as I said above you're dammed if you do and damned if you don't.
At least on FL you can't see if someone has deleted a message as deleting without replying was enough to trigger a snotty message to me full of assumptions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes people have the right to block those they don't feel they would get on with. But no need to tell everybody surely? I am curious though as to how many messages many men would be prepared to reply to on a daily basis before they give in and start being rude. 10? 100? And every day? But I take my hat off to those who have a level of politeness where they are prepared to spend may be up to half an hour every day doing admin. And unless men have had experience of female or couples profiles they will never truly understand that sometimes it is simply impractical to be polite onthat level, and that it's no reflection on how people behave in real life. By the way we do reply to most messages, but we wish we didn't have to, so I don't think we could've accused of being rude.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost all of my no thank you messages get a thanks for replying reply.
Ours too"
Are you offended by it? I mean, if someone replied ' thanks for the replies guys, have a great day!' Would that bother you, and think it was wasting more of your time.
Or would you consider that a nice way to acknowledge your effort for keeping this place upbeat, and a fun social place to be? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For the record ladies, what should we do after a no thank you message? Is a thanks for replying message appreciated, or does thanks but no thanks really mean fuck off and die? |
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"Almost all of my no thank you messages get a thanks for replying reply.
Ours too
Are you offended by it? I mean, if someone replied ' thanks for the replies guys, have a great day!' Would that bother you, and think it was wasting more of your time.
Or would you consider that a nice way to acknowledge your effort for keeping this place upbeat, and a fun social place to be? "
perfectly put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the record ladies, what should we do after a no thank you message? Is a thanks for replying message appreciated, or does thanks but no thanks really mean fuck off and die?"
haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the record ladies, what should we do after a no thank you message? Is a thanks for replying message appreciated, or does thanks but no thanks really mean fuck off and die?"
A thanks for replying isn't necessary. But for us, a thanks but no thanks doesn't mean fuck off and die. Bit of an extreme way to look at it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost all of my no thank you messages get a thanks for replying reply.
Ours too
Are you offended by it? I mean, if someone replied ' thanks for the replies guys, have a great day!' Would that bother you, and think it was wasting more of your time.
Or would you consider that a nice way to acknowledge your effort for keeping this place upbeat, and a fun social place to be? "
It makes me feel uncomfortable when someone thanks us for replying. I cannot explain why. That doesn't make us rude though. |
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"Amazing....
So men who don't agree with the 'no reply' is the best way forward are 'little shits' ??
It's a question of manners, pure and simple. A simple reply to say thanks and no thanks takes seconds to send, after which I feel it is good manners to return the message and say thank you for taking the time to reply. If individuals are of a different opinion, as absolutely is their prerogative, and find it best to simply ignore then I see it as bad manners and therefore will block them, as is my prerogative too.
Yes it is personal, I feel we would never get on so why wouldn't I block them?? Am I not allowed to block those who I am not interested in, does that make me a 'little shit'.
And what I find amazing is the very people who 'don't have time to reply to all those messages from men' are the very same key board warriors you see in the forums, in almost every thread, over and over again..... not as busy as they claim I would suggest!!
End of the day everyone has a right to behave as they see best, those who reply, those who don't, those who don't block, and those who do, but it certainly doesn't make anyone 'little shits'!!
HG
So you feel you're entitled to a reply then? This sense of entitlement is a huge turn off for me.
Many people don't bother replying to messages that don't interest then as that invites further messages from someone they don't want to talk to. And quite often a ton of verbal abuse about how we think we're too good for them or an attempt to change our mind.
But as I said above you're dammed if you do and damned if you don't.
At least on FL you can't see if someone has deleted a message as deleting without replying was enough to trigger a snotty message to me full of assumptions. "
Any chance you could point out the message where I say I think 'I'm entitled' to a reply, I can't seem to find it?
I'd rather you didn't make assumptions for me
HG |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Amazing....
So men who don't agree with the 'no reply' is the best way forward are 'little shits' ??
It's a question of manners, pure and simple. A simple reply to say thanks and no thanks takes seconds to send, after which I feel it is good manners to return the message and say thank you for taking the time to reply. If individuals are of a different opinion, as absolutely is their prerogative, and find it best to simply ignore then I see it as bad manners and therefore will block them, as is my prerogative too.
Yes it is personal, I feel we would never get on so why wouldn't I block them?? Am I not allowed to block those who I am not interested in, does that make me a 'little shit'.
And what I find amazing is the very people who 'don't have time to reply to all those messages from men' are the very same key board warriors you see in the forums, in almost every thread, over and over again..... not as busy as they claim I would suggest!!
End of the day everyone has a right to behave as they see best, those who reply, those who don't, those who don't block, and those who do, but it certainly doesn't make anyone 'little shits'!!
HG
So you feel you're entitled to a reply then? This sense of entitlement is a huge turn off for me.
Many people don't bother replying to messages that don't interest then as that invites further messages from someone they don't want to talk to. And quite often a ton of verbal abuse about how we think we're too good for them or an attempt to change our mind.
But as I said above you're dammed if you do and damned if you don't.
At least on FL you can't see if someone has deleted a message as deleting without replying was enough to trigger a snotty message to me full of assumptions.
Any chance you could point out the message where I say I think 'I'm entitled' to a reply, I can't seem to find it?
I'd rather you didn't make assumptions for me
HG"
But you're making a great deal of assumptions about others on this thread. Treating others how you want to be treated is a key part of manners, etiquette and politeness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For the record ladies, what should we do after a no thank you message? Is a thanks for replying message appreciated, or does thanks but no thanks really mean fuck off and die?"
I don't want anyone to die. Just for us to be left by ourselves from that point onwards
But if someone does reply with a "thank you", that is fine too. But I'd rather that they didn't
- Mrs. J - |
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"Amazing....
So men who don't agree with the 'no reply' is the best way forward are 'little shits' ??
It's a question of manners, pure and simple. A simple reply to say thanks and no thanks takes seconds to send, after which I feel it is good manners to return the message and say thank you for taking the time to reply. If individuals are of a different opinion, as absolutely is their prerogative, and find it best to simply ignore then I see it as bad manners and therefore will block them, as is my prerogative too.
Yes it is personal, I feel we would never get on so why wouldn't I block them?? Am I not allowed to block those who I am not interested in, does that make me a 'little shit'.
And what I find amazing is the very people who 'don't have time to reply to all those messages from men' are the very same key board warriors you see in the forums, in almost every thread, over and over again..... not as busy as they claim I would suggest!!
End of the day everyone has a right to behave as they see best, those who reply, those who don't, those who don't block, and those who do, but it certainly doesn't make anyone 'little shits'!!
HG
So you feel you're entitled to a reply then? This sense of entitlement is a huge turn off for me.
Many people don't bother replying to messages that don't interest then as that invites further messages from someone they don't want to talk to. And quite often a ton of verbal abuse about how we think we're too good for them or an attempt to change our mind.
But as I said above you're dammed if you do and damned if you don't.
At least on FL you can't see if someone has deleted a message as deleting without replying was enough to trigger a snotty message to me full of assumptions.
Any chance you could point out the message where I say I think 'I'm entitled' to a reply, I can't seem to find it?
I'd rather you didn't make assumptions for me
HG
But you're making a great deal of assumptions about others on this thread. Treating others how you want to be treated is a key part of manners, etiquette and politeness. "
Perhaps you could highlight the assumptions of others I have made?
HG
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Are you offended by it? I mean, if someone replied ' thanks for the replies guys, have a great day!' Would that bother you, and think it was wasting more of your time.
Or would you consider that a nice way to acknowledge your effort for keeping this place upbeat, and a fun social place to be?
It makes me feel uncomfortable when someone thanks us for replying. I cannot explain why. That doesn't make us rude though. "
I can understand. I can actually understand that. . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally if I have said no thanks I'd prefer not to receive another message.
But these morning I've had several messages that I've just deleted without replying as I don't see the point if people might get pissy either way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Are you offended by it? I mean, if someone replied ' thanks for the replies guys, have a great day!' Would that bother you, and think it was wasting more of your time.
Or would you consider that a nice way to acknowledge your effort for keeping this place upbeat, and a fun social place to be?
It makes me feel uncomfortable when someone thanks us for replying. I cannot explain why. That doesn't make us rude though.
I can understand. I can actually understand that. . "
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost all of my no thank you messages get a thanks for replying reply.
Ours too
Are you offended by it? I mean, if someone replied ' thanks for the replies guys, have a great day!' Would that bother you, and think it was wasting more of your time.
Or would you consider that a nice way to acknowledge your effort for keeping this place upbeat, and a fun social place to be?
It makes me feel uncomfortable when someone thanks us for replying. I cannot explain why. That doesn't make us rude though. "
We're exactly the same. This is why I find some of the comments on here so confusing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Almost all of my no thank you messages get a thanks for replying reply.
Ours too
Are you offended by it? I mean, if someone replied ' thanks for the replies guys, have a great day!' Would that bother you, and think it was wasting more of your time.
Or would you consider that a nice way to acknowledge your effort for keeping this place upbeat, and a fun social place to be?
It makes me feel uncomfortable when someone thanks us for replying. I cannot explain why. That doesn't make us rude though.
We're exactly the same. This is why I find some of the comments on here so confusing. "
Very confusing. It seems a harsh to brand someone as rude, simply because they would prefer not to have a 'thanks for reply message', especially when that person has gone to the effort of replying. |
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"Amazing....
So men who don't agree with the 'no reply' is the best way forward are 'little shits' ??
It's a question of manners, pure and simple. A simple reply to say thanks and no thanks takes seconds to send, after which I feel it is good manners to return the message and say thank you for taking the time to reply. If individuals are of a different opinion, as absolutely is their prerogative, and find it best to simply ignore then I see it as bad manners and therefore will block them, as is my prerogative too.
Yes it is personal, I feel we would never get on so why wouldn't I block them?? Am I not allowed to block those who I am not interested in, does that make me a 'little shit'.
And what I find amazing is the very people who 'don't have time to reply to all those messages from men' are the very same key board warriors you see in the forums, in almost every thread, over and over again..... not as busy as they claim I would suggest!!
End of the day everyone has a right to behave as they see best, those who reply, those who don't, those who don't block, and those who do, but it certainly doesn't make anyone 'little shits'!!
HG
So you feel you're entitled to a reply then? This sense of entitlement is a huge turn off for me.
Many people don't bother replying to messages that don't interest then as that invites further messages from someone they don't want to talk to. And quite often a ton of verbal abuse about how we think we're too good for them or an attempt to change our mind.
But as I said above you're dammed if you do and damned if you don't.
At least on FL you can't see if someone has deleted a message as deleting without replying was enough to trigger a snotty message to me full of assumptions.
Any chance you could point out the message where I say I think 'I'm entitled' to a reply, I can't seem to find it?
I'd rather you didn't make assumptions for me
HG
But you're making a great deal of assumptions about others on this thread. Treating others how you want to be treated is a key part of manners, etiquette and politeness.
Perhaps you could highlight the assumptions of others I have made?
HG
"
Still waiting for these assumptions about others that I have made?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world "
Cos you're a Leo, you don't need to explain yourself to anybody, fuck 'em all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had that message because I don't reply to people I'm not interested in. It's a cruel world
Cos you're a Leo, you don't need to explain yourself to anybody, fuck 'em all!"
Exactly, zero fucks given |
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"Good manners and courtesy is always a good thing just a lot of people on here don't have them unfortunately "
Correction:
A lot of people on here unfortunately don't have them to the degree and level you require/expect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's been covered ad infinitum but nevertheless; saying 'no thanks' takes a fucking age. It's not a quick message when you have to type it/copy and paste it fifty million times. Every time you get a reply to it, other messages get pushed off the bottom of the list, messages that may be from someone more suitable. And it's yet another message that I have to delete. As is pointed out all the time, this isn't Facebook.
Theres a solution. Don't send a message unless you're pretty certain you fit what the person you're sending to, is looking for. If every person did that, the volume of crap being received would reduce dramatically and the receiver would have a lot more time to deal 'nicely' with what they do receive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's been covered ad infinitum but nevertheless; saying 'no thanks' takes a fucking age. It's not a quick message when you have to type it/copy and paste it fifty million times. Every time you get a reply to it, other messages get pushed off the bottom of the list, messages that may be from someone more suitable. And it's yet another message that I have to delete. As is pointed out all the time, this isn't Facebook.
Theres a solution. Don't send a message unless you're pretty certain you fit what the person you're sending to, is looking for. If every person did that, the volume of crap being received would reduce dramatically and the receiver would have a lot more time to deal 'nicely' with what they do receive. "
Well said; good advice to male, female or couple
-Mrs. J- |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Amazing....
So men who don't agree with the 'no reply' is the best way forward are 'little shits' ??
It's a question of manners, pure and simple. A simple reply to say thanks and no thanks takes seconds to send, after which I feel it is good manners to return the message and say thank you for taking the time to reply. If individuals are of a different opinion, as absolutely is their prerogative, and find it best to simply ignore then I see it as bad manners and therefore will block them, as is my prerogative too.
Yes it is personal, I feel we would never get on so why wouldn't I block them?? Am I not allowed to block those who I am not interested in, does that make me a 'little shit'.
And what I find amazing is the very people who 'don't have time to reply to all those messages from men' are the very same key board warriors you see in the forums, in almost every thread, over and over again..... not as busy as they claim I would suggest!!
End of the day everyone has a right to behave as they see best, those who reply, those who don't, those who don't block, and those who do, but it certainly doesn't make anyone 'little shits'!!
HG
So you feel you're entitled to a reply then? This sense of entitlement is a huge turn off for me.
Many people don't bother replying to messages that don't interest then as that invites further messages from someone they don't want to talk to. And quite often a ton of verbal abuse about how we think we're too good for them or an attempt to change our mind.
But as I said above you're dammed if you do and damned if you don't.
At least on FL you can't see if someone has deleted a message as deleting without replying was enough to trigger a snotty message to me full of assumptions.
Any chance you could point out the message where I say I think 'I'm entitled' to a reply, I can't seem to find it?
I'd rather you didn't make assumptions for me
HG
But you're making a great deal of assumptions about others on this thread. Treating others how you want to be treated is a key part of manners, etiquette and politeness.
Perhaps you could highlight the assumptions of others I have made?
HG
Still waiting for these assumptions about others that I have made?? "
Read your own post; the response is embedded within
- Mrs. J - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem is with these type of threads, is that it often boils down to single men thinking they are polite and that couples and single women are rude. Or to put it another way, couples and single women thinking their behaviour is reasonable and realistic, and that single men are unreasonable and unrealistic in their expectations. So are single men generally politer than couples and single women? As a generalisation of course not. But with regards to messaging, the experiences of a single man make it easier to be polite than that of a single woman/couple. Just to pluck some random figures from the air, a relatively popular single man might have one message per week to reply to. Some men have none. Couples will probably have a few per day to reply to and single women might have about 50. You cannot compare. It's like sending a fan letter to an actor/musician. Some will receive a manageable amount, and others will have to employ people to reply to their mail. Dont think it's reasonable to expect some of the more popular ladies on Fab to employ someone to answer all their mail. Yet there are some men who bang on about how they were 'brought up to be polite' and 'manners cost nothing'. And it comes across as very superior as though they are holier than Thou.
Unfounded assumptions have been made on this thread that certain people are rude, when those people (including myself) have not been rude. A truly polite person would not make such assumptions about others. Also a truly polite person would be more respectful of the fact that after a polite rejection message is sent, the couple/single lady may not want to receive further messages when they thought the matter was closed.
I would also urge those who pride themselves in always being polite, but yet point fingers at those who don't reach their standard, to ask themselves, are they really polite? Or are they trying to make a point? Would those men who insist that it's rude to not reply, religiously reply to every single message if they started to get several a day. Would they really do that admin task on a daily basis year after year? Have these self-proclaimed polite men never cancelled a meet at short notice, never turned up late, never avoided a text message from an FB who they were tired of? Perhaps people should take a look at their own behaviour before branding others as rude, and not be too quick to throw stones.
Don't get me wrong, we love single guys, and there are some truly awesome guys on Fab!
Mrs |
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100% no assumptions being made here. As for others, well I'll let others judge
I guess it's a case of standards, as long you are happy with your own. I know I'm happy with mine
And as I said before certain behaviour makes it easier to filter out those who I know I'm going to get on with and those whom I am not, no different to the filters on here.
HG
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does, and that's because manners are extremely important to us. It has been implied on this thread that we are rude people who don't reply to messages. Anybody who drew that conclusion about us, I must stress that I have been misunderstood. We do make a huge effort to reply to all nice messages. Anybody on this thread who thinks we are rude people because they thought we don't reply to messages has got it wrong about us, and I would urge them to reconsider their opinion on us. I don't expect everybody to
like us, but I urge people not to form an opinion on us based on something that is untrue.
Mrs |
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"Almost all of my no thank you messages get a thanks for replying reply. "
Honestly just seems pointless , I ask to be blocked if my message and profile do not tempt the lady to chat and discover more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does, and that's because manners are extremely important to us. It has been implied on this thread that we are rude people who don't reply to messages. Anybody who drew that conclusion about us, I must stress that I have been misunderstood. We do make a huge effort to reply to all nice messages. Anybody on this thread who thinks we are rude people because they thought we don't reply to messages has got it wrong about us, and I would urge them to reconsider their opinion on us. I don't expect everybody to
like us, but I urge people not to form an opinion on us based on something that is untrue.
Mrs"
There is no way you are rude for not replying. You don't owe anybody a message. People who get upset over a deleted message shouldn't send them out so willingly.
If people think I'm rude then so be it. I will still sleep at night knowing their message is left unread and will end up in the fab bin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost all of my no thank you messages get a thanks for replying reply.
Honestly just seems pointless , I ask to be blocked if my message and profile do not tempt the lady to chat and discover more "
We would never block someone just because their message doesn't at that moment in time tempt. That is totally closing a door. Times change, circumstances change, people's profiles change. We're not big on-line chatters and don't really have time for private meets, but would hate to run into someone in a club, hit it off, and have the embarrassment of discovering we've blocked them. So no we would never close a door unless someone pisses us off.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does, and that's because manners are extremely important to us. It has been implied on this thread that we are rude people who don't reply to messages. Anybody who drew that conclusion about us, I must stress that I have been misunderstood. We do make a huge effort to reply to all nice messages. Anybody on this thread who thinks we are rude people because they thought we don't reply to messages has got it wrong about us, and I would urge them to reconsider their opinion on us. I don't expect everybody to
like us, but I urge people not to form an opinion on us based on something that is untrue.
Mrs
There is no way you are rude for not replying. You don't owe anybody a message. People who get upset over a deleted message shouldn't send them out so willingly.
If people think I'm rude then so be it. I will still sleep at night knowing their message is left unread and will end up in the fab bin. "
Thank you |
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