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teenage drinking advice

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

my question is if a child,just turned 15,has d*unk so much vodka she has collapsed into unconsciousness and an ambulance has been called; is the householder, who was well aware girls btw 14-15 were drinking in her house, held in anyway responsible...tried to google it but can't find anything specific so far..

if it is reported to the police, do they have a legitimate duty to speak to her about it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my question is if a child,just turned 15,has d*unk so much vodka she has collapsed into unconsciousness and an ambulance has been called; is the householder, who was well aware girls btw 14-15 were drinking in her house, held in anyway responsible...tried to google it but can't find anything specific so far..

if it is reported to the police, do they have a legitimate duty to speak to her about it?"

Yes they are a minor

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd say that's a definate yes, any licenced pub or bar would get fined for serving underage drinkers, the adult who's house it is, is responsible for what goes on inside.

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

i believe they can be any age at home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Children are allowed to drink in this country in their own homes with parental permission from as young as 7. However being provided with alcohol and being in that state as you mentioned could be seen as abuse and in my professional opinion a safeguarding concern.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

if it is reported to the police, do they have a legitimate duty to speak to her about it?

Yes they are a minor"

it is legal to give alcohol to young people under 18...my question is, specifically, what ,if any, offence has she committed?..is there a 'negligence' or 'duty of care' issue..i know excatly what i think personally, but i'm trying to find out actual facts,what could she be potentially charged with?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i believe they can be any age at home"

It is illegal to buy alcohol for someone under 18 in a licensed premises, the only exception is for 16 or 17 year-olds who are allowed to drink beer, wine or cider with food if with an adult (but they may not buy the alcohol themselves). It is legal for anyone over 5 to drink alcohol.i stand corrected

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

They can legally drink alcohol at home.

However, at that age, adults are responsible for what they do and how they are supervised.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"i believe they can be any age at home

the issue is not who bought it,i have no doubt the little darlings managed that them selves...but she was aware they were drinking...i'm trying to find out if she has actually committed any concrete offence by allowing a 15yr old in her home to drink herself unconcious..she was also heard telling then girls not to tell the paramedics anything..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i believe they can be any age at home

She sounds like a very trustworthy person

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

"i believe they can be any age at home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think any law has been broken but as a mum myself I'd be furious and upset. You could call the police to just ask advice, as it is neglect of the child involved, however with the child attending hospital if they have concerns to safeguarding and duty of care, the hospital will call social services for advice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i believe they can be any age at home

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"i believe they can be any age at home

She sounds like a very trustworthy person

she's a fucking imbecile! but what i'm trying to get at, is can the police be asked to speak to her, caution her etc over this? Is she legally at fault?...morally it's obvious that she's an idiot, but legally?.i don't know..and i'm finding it difficult to find out exactly..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't think any law has been broken but as a mum myself I'd be furious and upset. You could call the police to just ask advice, as it is neglect of the child involved, however with the child attending hospital if they have concerns to safeguarding and duty of care, the hospital will call social services for advice. "

thanks, that exactly what i need to know...i really wasn't convinced she actually broke any laws...not my child but my friends..makes me almost glad to be childless sometimes...thank you!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i believe they can be any age at home

She sounds like a very trustworthy person

Legally no as she didn't break a law, but call the local police station and they will advise if anything else you can do x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if it is reported to the police, do they have a legitimate duty to speak to her about it?"
whoever is responsible for that child will be responsible for that child ,if you care about them then you have a responsibility for them anyway

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So true, to many ignore things x

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I'm alway's surprised when I hear that other parents allow a bunch of kid's to drink alcohol in their homes when the mum and dad are actually there. No way would I be sending a teenager home from my place d*unk!

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"i believe they can be any age at home

She sounds like a very trustworthy person

What does the law say?

Alcohol consumption in the UK is governed by strict laws.

It is against the law1 2:

To sell alcohol to someone under 18 anywhere.

For an adult to buy or attempt to buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18. (Retailers can reserve the right to refuse the sale of alcohol to an adult if they’re accompanied by a child and think the alcohol is being bought for the child.)

For someone under 18 to buy alcohol, attempt to buy alcohol or to be sold alcohol.

For someone under 18 to drink alcohol in licensed premises, except where the child is 16 or 17 years old and accompanied by an adult. In this case it is legal for them to drink, but not buy, beer, wine and cider with a table meal.

For an adult to buy alcohol for someone under 18 for consumption on licensed premises, except as above.

To give children alcohol if they are under five.

It is not illegal:

For someone over 18 to buy a child over 16 beer, wine or cider if they are eating a table meal together in licensed premises.

For a child aged five to 16 to drink alcohol at home or on other private premises.

For more information visit our page on buying alcohol.

Consequences of breaking the law

If the police suspect someone under 18 has alcohol in a public place, they have the power to confiscate it. If young people get caught with alcohol three times they could face a social contract, a fine or arrest. Getting a criminal record could affect future job prospects and make it more difficult to travel to countries like the USA.

The police can also confiscate alcohol from someone, no matter what their age, if they believe it has been, or will be d*unk by someone under 18 in a public place.

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

one of my best ever parties was when i was 15.the mother was there too. had a massive mansion with lots of hidden rooms etc. got completely d*unk first time. then going home pretending to be sober.

it just happens to be so when you want to explore.

but be responsible about it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your prob not gonna like this but I think the parents have some blame also because as parents you should no where your children are and what they are doing. I've a 15 year old either and if she is going out I make it my business to know where she is going who with and what they will be doing. If it's a party she is going to I make sure I know the parents personally and I know if there s going to be booze there.

PTU xxx

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

If child was unconscious and taken away in ambulance, hospital staff and nurses will have a duty of care to inform any relevant bodies that need notifying, should they have any concerns over the future wellbeing.

However. Although irresponsible to get into that state, the lesson has probably already been learnt. I remember being young and d*unk a few times. She could of just been unlucky and have an allergic reaction.

Vodka makes me throw up and feel ill, with only one glass. It's just never agreed with me

The adults are probably worried and stressing as it is. I'd put it down to hard lesson learnt.

Probably only a few months from being classed an adult anyhow, then no one will be responsible!

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

"i believe they can be any age at home

She sounds like a very trustworthy person

What does the law say?

Alcohol consumption in the UK is governed by strict laws.

It is against the law1 2:

To sell alcohol to someone under 18 anywhere.

For someone under 18 to buy alcohol, attempt to buy alcohol or to be sold alcohol.

For an adult to buy alcohol for someone under 18 for consumption on licensed premises, except as above.

To give children alcohol if they are under five.

It is not illegal:

For someone over 18 to buy a child over 16 beer, wine or cider if they are eating a table meal together in licensed premises.

For a child aged five to 16 to drink alcohol at home or on other private premises.

For more information visit our page on buying alcohol.

Consequences of breaking the law

The police can also confiscate alcohol from someone, no matter what their age, if they believe it has been, or will be d*unk by someone under 18 in a public place."
so only ones breaking the law is your friends daughter and the person selling it.

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Your prob not gonna like this but I think the parents have some blame also because as parents you should no where your children are and what they are doing. I've a 15 year old either and if she is going out I make it my business to know where she is going who with and what they will be doing. If it's a party she is going to I make sure I know the parents personally and I know if there s going to be booze there.

PTU xxx"

exactly.

getting SS involved means they will question why your friend let his/her kid go to that persons house if they knew what they were like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information. "
im not worried about the child..she's fine now,if a little pale! im concerned about an idiot yummy mummy who seems to think its fine for her daughter and daughters friends to do what they like in her house..and now i've passed on the information from a poster above and the childs mother is checking with the hospital to see if they reported it, and if not, is asking them to..this borough is the worst in london for teen age alcohol admissions to hospital because its full of 'cool' middle class twats who wrap their kids in cotton rule ,then release them into the wild at 14 and wonder why they dont have a grain of common sense!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She was in loco parentis. The minor children in her home were under her care. It's not a matter of who bought the alcohol, she allowed a child to become so intoxicated an ambulance had to be called.

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

informing ss will look into your friends role as a mother too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

PTU xxx"

they knew exactly where she was, and it was not a party, just 5 girls having a sleepover..i don't think her parents are at fault for letting her go...she's at fault for being 15 and thus an idiot, but i do think the householder is in some way responsible...all teens are going to experiment with alcohol but to allow them to drink to excess in her house is, to me, very wrong.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

PTU xxx"

That's ideal,but kids sometimes lie I know this from a recent episode from my 15 year old. I did kinda trust her before that and as she was 15 you have to give them more trust she's growing up. She fucked up big style though and now I question every little thing she does,which is having a negative affect

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

PTU xxx

Yes of course that is wrong but she should know her own daughter and take some responsibility for herself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

PTU xxx

exactly.

getting SS involved means they will question why your friend let his/her kid go to that persons house if they knew what they were like."

They didn't know; it was a sleepover, not a party, no indication of anything wrong at all, or she wouldnt have been there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

PTU xxx

"
try giving her a little let way n see if she's learnt her lesson. I've been in this situation too but thankfully rose is very sensible with booze because she has seen the negative aspects of drinking. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

PTU xxx

exactly.

getting SS involved means they will question why your friend let his/her kid go to that persons house if they knew what they were like.

They didn't know; it was a sleepover, not a party, no indication of anything wrong at all, or she wouldnt have been there. "

Hopefully it will be a good learning curve for both mother and daughter.

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

"If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information. im not worried about the child..she's fine now,if a little pale! im concerned about an idiot yummy mummy who seems to think its fine for her daughter and daughters friends to do what they like in her house..and now i've passed on the information from a poster above and the childs mother is checking with the hospital to see if they reported it, and if not, is asking them to..this borough is the worst in london for teen age alcohol admissions to hospital because its full of 'cool' middle class twats who wrap their kids in cotton rule ,then release them into the wild at 14 and wonder why they dont have a grain of common sense!"

Take it to the top, make sure every one in authority knows you want it investigated.

Make sure their lives are totally upturned!

(Sarcastic smiley)

Let him who casts the first stone is without sin!

I'm sure you were never d*unk around the 15 age mark.... she'll of been checked out and if things need taking further, that's for them to decide. She's not home and ok, looking pale.

No harm done! I'd move on and let it go!

Think about next time you make a mistake, wrong choice, and tables may be turned!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

PTU xxx

Yes of course that is wrong but she should know her own daughter and take some responsibility for herself. "

anyone who thinks they know their own teenager is deluded im afraid. They lie, thats' what they do. I doubt you let your parents know every single thing you did as a teen....my point is not that the girl was not stupid...of course she was, she's 15,it's endemic...but that the 'responsible' person on the premises should be somehow at least warned that they have some sort of duty of care to minors in their home.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

PTU xxx

try giving her a little let way n see if she's learnt her lesson. I've been in this situation too but thankfully rose is very sensible with booze because she has seen the negative aspects of drinking. X"

She's not getting it quite yet,I'm not getting into it here,but when myself,her dad and sister are in the police station til 2:30 in the morning things can't get much worse!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

PTU xxx

Yes of course that is wrong but she should know her own daughter and take some responsibility for herself.

Yep I agree.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information. im not worried about the child..she's fine now,if a little pale! im concerned about an idiot yummy mummy who seems to think its fine for her daughter and daughters friends to do what they like in her house..and now i've passed on the information from a poster above and the childs mother is checking with the hospital to see if they reported it, and if not, is asking them to..this borough is the worst in london for teen age alcohol admissions to hospital because its full of 'cool' middle class twats who wrap their kids in cotton rule ,then release them into the wild at 14 and wonder why they dont have a grain of common sense!

Take it to the top, make sure every one in authority knows you want it investigated.

Make sure their lives are totally upturned!

(Sarcastic smiley)

Let him who casts the first stone is without sin!

I'm sure you were never d*unk around the 15 age mark.... she'll of been checked out and if things need taking further, that's for them to decide. She's not home and ok, looking pale.

No harm done! I'd move on and let it go!

Think about next time you make a mistake, wrong choice, and tables may be turned! "

according to her,she hasnt made a mistake...she sees nothing wrong whatsoever with her action/inaction. All i was asking was if there was any recourse for anyone to speak to her over it,warn her of her responsibilities.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

PTU xxx

Yes of course that is wrong but she should know her own daughter and take some responsibility for herself.

I'm not deluded I have a very open and honest relationship with my daughters that is well documented on here. I may not know everything my girls do but you can bet your bottom dollar I always one step ahead of them!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information. im not worried about the child..she's fine now,if a little pale! im concerned about an idiot yummy mummy who seems to think its fine for her daughter and daughters friends to do what they like in her house..and now i've passed on the information from a poster above and the childs mother is checking with the hospital to see if they reported it, and if not, is asking them to..this borough is the worst in london for teen age alcohol admissions to hospital because its full of 'cool' middle class twats who wrap their kids in cotton rule ,then release them into the wild at 14 and wonder why they dont have a grain of common sense!"

Obviously I don't know anything about this situation or any issues with this lady but ....

You're slating this 'yummy mummy' for giving a safe environment for her kids and their friends to learn from mistakes they would almost certainly make anyway.

Say your friends daughter got into this state in a local park without her friend or friends mother and no ambulance was called because there's no one to care enough to call an ambulance, she might be a bit worse than pale now.

I don't agree with having kids drinking but I don't judge people for allowing their kids a much safer environment where they can intervene if needed.

There is much worse things out in the world than a mother who portrays to be on her kids level, she may be much more responsible than anybody gives her credit for.

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

PTU xxx

exactly.

getting SS involved means they will question why your friend let his/her kid go to that persons house if they knew what they were like.

They didn't know; it was a sleepover, not a party, no indication of anything wrong at all, or she wouldnt have been there. "

SS will wonder why this kid was allowed to stay with a stranger then.

i'm not saying the parent who allowed them to drink is blameless but everyone involved is gonna be questioned now, and rightly so coz this is a minor we are talking about who needs protecting and ALL who are responsible for her will be seen as having failed her here.

and the more people do not accept responsibility for their own part in something the more those involved to authorise over the event will see them as not able to be responsible at all.

P.S. handy SS hint. make sure you're house is tidy, that's all they give a shit about anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

PTU xxx

She's not getting it quite yet,I'm not getting into it here,but when myself,her dad and sister are in the police station til 2:30 in the morning things can't get much worse!"
oh dear, hopefully she will soon and it sounds like she has a fantastic support network so I'm sure you will all come thro relatively unscathed. I was a complete bitch as a teen but my mother was and still is very strict and impossible so I totally rebelled. Christ I was in trouble this week for buying a box of chocs with my own money n live 180 miles away from her!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"i believe they can be any age at home

She sounds like a very trustworthy person

Could you not just ask the police this question?! They are the ones who will know for sure.

Haven't read the whole thread but what relationship do you have to this woman? Do you want to rock the boat that much with them. I get that you are annoyed and upset with her but sometimes you have to pick your battles with people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information. im not worried about the child..she's fine now,if a little pale! im concerned about an idiot yummy mummy who seems to think its fine for her daughter and daughters friends to do what they like in her house..and now i've passed on the information from a poster above and the childs mother is checking with the hospital to see if they reported it, and if not, is asking them to..this borough is the worst in london for teen age alcohol admissions to hospital because its full of 'cool' middle class twats who wrap their kids in cotton rule ,then release them into the wild at 14 and wonder why they dont have a grain of common sense!

Obviously I don't know anything about this situation or any issues with this lady but ....

You're slating this 'yummy mummy' for giving a safe environment for her kids and their friends to learn from mistakes they would almost certainly make anyway.

I don't agree with having kids drinking but I don't judge people for allowing their kids a much safer environment where they can intervene if needed.

There is much worse things out in the world than a mother who portrays to be on her kids level, she may be much more responsible than anybody gives her credit for."

it was clearly not a 'safe environment'...and far from calling an ambulance she was trying to stop them calling one,which is when she was overheard on one of the girls calls to her dad 'don't say anything to the ambulance men, don't say you know what she was drinking'..thanks for all the comments.. my friend is speaking the the A&E staff who treated her daughter and going to see what their advice is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

PTU xxx

exactly.

getting SS involved means they will question why your friend let his/her kid go to that persons house if they knew what they were like.

They didn't know; it was a sleepover, not a party, no indication of anything wrong at all, or she wouldnt have been there.

SS will wonder why this kid was allowed to stay with a stranger then.

and the more people do not accept responsibility for their own part in something the more those involved to authorise over the event will see them as not able to be responsible at all.

P.S. handy SS hint. make sure you're house is tidy, that's all they give a shit about anyway."

she was not a stranger! she was at a sleepover with 4 other school friends. The parents all know each other, there were no 'strangers' involved!

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

"If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information. im not worried about the child..she's fine now,if a little pale! im concerned about an idiot yummy mummy who seems to think its fine for her daughter and daughters friends to do what they like in her house..and now i've passed on the information from a poster above and the childs mother is checking with the hospital to see if they reported it, and if not, is asking them to..this borough is the worst in london for teen age alcohol admissions to hospital because its full of 'cool' middle class twats who wrap their kids in cotton rule ,then release them into the wild at 14 and wonder why they dont have a grain of common sense!

Obviously I don't know anything about this situation or any issues with this lady but ....

You're slating this 'yummy mummy' for giving a safe environment for her kids and their friends to learn from mistakes they would almost certainly make anyway.

I don't agree with having kids drinking but I don't judge people for allowing their kids a much safer environment where they can intervene if needed.

There is much worse things out in the world than a mother who portrays to be on her kids level, she may be much more responsible than anybody gives her credit for.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/05/17 17:16:27]

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

Some things have to be learnt the hard way, no one at fault or responsible.

I was always allowed alcohol, growing up, at dinner table was allowed glass of wine.

Alcohol was never really an issue for me, novelty had worn off, hardly ever drink.

Only been drink about three times, in my life.

One was when I was about 14, with mates, we managed to each get served to 2ltr bottle of cider and drink it, over golf the golf course.

Was totally pissed and sick, felt ill next day too.

Parents always told me not to go out and get d*unk! So guess what. I did and they were right! Lots of my friends, got totally pissed, on one occasion or another, we all got to hear of it, that's embarrassing too. No one ever got social services involved!

Tell a child not to do something, is like telling a moth not to go near a light bulb.

Sometimes they have to understand by doing

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By *eavenscentitCouple over a year ago

barnstaple

"If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information. im not worried about the child..she's fine now,if a little pale! im concerned about an idiot yummy mummy who seems to think its fine for her daughter and daughters friends to do what they like in her house..and now i've passed on the information from a poster above and the childs mother is checking with the hospital to see if they reported it, and if not, is asking them to..this borough is the worst in london for teen age alcohol admissions to hospital because its full of 'cool' middle class twats who wrap their kids in cotton rule ,then release them into the wild at 14 and wonder why they dont have a grain of common sense!

Obviously I don't know anything about this situation or any issues with this lady but ....

You're slating this 'yummy mummy' for giving a safe environment for her kids and their friends to learn from mistakes they would almost certainly make anyway.

I don't agree with having kids drinking but I don't judge people for allowing their kids a much safer environment where they can intervene if needed.

There is much worse things out in the world than a mother who portrays to be on her kids level, she may be much more responsible than anybody gives her credit for.

The woman sounds totally out of order. I know having girls if 15 is hard but, she should have kept an eye and made sure they were safe. That was her job that night. Its a pain but, if you invite minors over they are your responsibility. So glad mine are now over 18 !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Some things have to be learnt the hard way, no one at fault or responsible.

I was always allowed alcohol, growing up, at dinner table was allowed glass of wine.

Alcohol was never really an issue for me, novelty had worn off, hardly ever drink.

Only been drink about three times, in my life.

One was when I was about 14, with mates, we managed to each get served to 2ltr bottle of cider and drink it, over golf the golf course.

Was totally pissed and sick, felt ill next day too.

Tell a child not to do something, is like telling a moth not to go near a light bulb.

Sometimes they have to understand by doing

that is not the issue,as i have said repeatedly, teenagers are stupid, they do stupid things.. my friend just wanted someone , somewhere in some sort of authority to say to this woman that she has behaved irresponsibly so it doesnt happen again! So far she has'nt even said sorry, or tried to find out if the girl was ok, and her only comment to one of the other parents was 'well its just what they do.'...which is correct it is what they do, but not usually with the apparent blessing of an adult who should know better.

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

Fair enough but if I were in her shoes, I'd be worried and concerned. I'd be apprehensive how to approach you I'd whet to say.

She's probably feeling a bit embarrassed too, deep down knows, your all pointing at her, being responsible and feels bad inside.

However, even when in the wrong, or at fault, lots of people will put a wall, be defensive as they know flack is incoming. Lots of people can't say sorry, even though they are.

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

And I hate this apple keyboard, for suggesting words I did'nt type, but noticed after posting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is potentially a safeguarding issue but It would be more likely a social services than a police issue as there's not a criminas matter. Paramedics atrending a house full of pissed kids with adults aware may well have triggered it

Be prepared for your own actions to be looked at thpugh you might not like it you have parental responsibly too

Or you could bollocks your kid for being so stupid and stop trying to absolve their behaviour

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i believe they can be any age at home

She sounds like a very trustworthy person

Maybe you should call the Police first and ask questions alter if it's your kid! Why are you asking in an adult forum. its not mumsnet

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

"Or you could bollock your kid for being so stupid and stop trying to absolve their behaviour"

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

"i believe they can be any age at home

She sounds like a very trustworthy person

Maybe you should call the Police first and ask questions alter if it's your kid! Why are you asking in an adult forum. its not mumsnet"

It's the lounge.

But yes I'd check with the cops.

But you also might get the mother in trouble.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There is potentially a safeguarding issue but It would be more likely a social services than a police issue as there's not a criminas matter. Paramedics atrending a house full of pissed kids with adults aware may well have triggered it

Be prepared for your own actions to be looked at thpugh you might not like it you have parental responsibly too

Or you could bollocks your kid for being so stupid and stop trying to absolve their behaviour"

it's not my child, its my friends child, and at no point have i, or has she, tried to absolve their behaviour.

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

The girl's parents are about 50% at fault the girl 40% and the householders about 10% in our opinion.

Why? That is very simple it is the girls duty to bring her up in such a manner to behave herself whether they are there watching her or they are not there.

They clearly failed in that duty.

They also have a duty to warn her about alcohol and the dangers of excess consumption; they obviously failed in this as well.

Finally a point that is out of fashion these days the parents should have brought their daughter up to respect others, she obviously had a total disregard to her friends parents as she was drinking to excess in their house, understandable perhaps but an extremely rude thing to do.

The girl has accept responsibility for the above points as well but it could be said that her age and the effects of alcohol mitigate this to some extent. We must assume she was not forced to drink the alcohol and she used her free will to do so to that degree otherwise the other children would also have been admitted to hospital.

Finally the householder does have a duty of care but this only covers their actions or negligence.

Negligence means doing something that a prudent and reasonable person would not do, or failing to do something that a prudent and reasonable person would do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Be prepared for your own actions to be looked at thpugh you might not like it you have parental responsibly too

Or you could bollocks your kid for being so stupid and stop trying to absolve their behaviour

it's not my child, its my friends child, and at no point have i, or has she, tried to absolve their behaviour."

I didn't read beyond the first few posts and nothibg said the child wasn't yours. But regardless getting the police involved and thinking the person who's house thay are in should be cautioned does suggest you are obsvong the kid of their part in this. I'm assuming that the adult mery furned a blind eye and didn't force or coerce alcohol on the kid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The girl's parents are about 50% at fault the girl 40% and the householders about 10% in our opinion.

Why? That is very simple it is the girls duty to bring her up in such a manner to behave herself whether they are there watching her or they are not there.

They clearly failed in that duty.

They also have a duty to warn her about alcohol and the dangers of excess consumption; they obviously failed in this as well.

Finally the householder does have a duty of care but this only covers their actions or negligence.

Negligence means doing something that a prudent and reasonable person would not do, or failing to do something that a prudent and reasonable person would do.

i think negligence is perfectly clear in that she was trying to stop the girls calling an ambulance, and when they did, trying to stop them telling the paramedics what she had d*unk.

Of course the girl is responsible, but the householder had no problem at all with her daughter drinking vodka at 14.

and as for my friend, she is a very good mother...teenagers are assholes, they don't all behave perfectly,but the mother was not in the wrong for thinking her daughter was safe at a friends home,she knows the mother, had no reason to assume she was going to let the girls drink like that. Thanks for your comments.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course the mother should take some blame!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

From reading the patchy information so far I have to ask....How do you know she told them not to call an ambulance? You admit that teenagers are assholes and neither you or your friend were there at the time.

Just playing devils advocate here but what's to say they didn't shit themselves at the severity of what happened and so concocted the story of her telling them not to say anything?

D*unk adults lie, d*unk teenagers do too.

Like I say, just playing devils advocate. I know the young girl ended up in hospital but I am assuming that no lasting damage has been done? A big lesson learnt early on for her and her friends and obviously no more sleepovers at said friends house.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"From reading the patchy information so far I have to ask....How do you know she told them not to call an ambulance? You admit that teenagers are assholes and neither you or your friend were there at the time.

Just playing devils advocate here but what's to say they didn't shit themselves at the severity of what happened and so concocted the story of her telling them not to say anything?

D*unk adults lie, d*unk teenagers do too.

all the girls have readily said she tried to stop them, they were calling their own parents for help as well! and the father of one of them, when she had called him panicking, overheard the woman telling them not to say anything to the ambulance crew. So yes, she very clearly told them not to, and was very angry when it showed up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just playing devils advocate here but what's to say they didn't shit themselves at the severity of what happened and so concocted the story of her telling them not to say anything?

D*unk adults lie, d*unk teenagers do too.

Or (also playing devils advocate) maybe she realised that the kid wasn't as pissed as has been claimed and that hysterical d*unken teenagers calling 999 was an overreaction?

Maybe she realised that the pissed kid just needed to sober up?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just playing devils advocate here but what's to say they didn't shit themselves at the severity of what happened and so concocted the story of her telling them not to say anything?

D*unk adults lie, d*unk teenagers do too.

Or (also playing devils advocate) maybe she realised that the kid wasn't as pissed as has been claimed and that hysterical d*unken teenagers calling 999 was an overreaction?

Maybe she realised that the pissed kid just needed to sober up?"

she was unconscious.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I havnt read the whole thread so forgive me if I'm repeating anybody else. My opinion is that if that adult was the legal guardian of the child at that time then she may have committed the offence of neglect by knowingly allowing the child to consume so much alcohol she was rendered unconscious as a result.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I havnt read the whole thread so forgive me if I'm repeating anybody else. My opinion is that if that adult was the legal guardian of the child at that time then she may have committed the offence of neglect by knowingly allowing the child to consume so much alcohol she was rendered unconscious as a result. "

my thoughts exactly, but apparently we're both wrong, it's my friends fault entirely for letting her have a sleep over at her friends house in the first place.

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

who knows how much and who was putting the vodka in the drinks, im sure they werent swigging it from a bottle, who was pouring, were they playing drinking games,

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

It's not often that I am shocked but I am absolutely stunned that it is legal for someone over the age of 18 to give my child over the age of 5 alcohol on a private premises. Surely there is massive potential there for a child to be put at serious risk!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

my thoughts exactly, but apparently we're both wrong, it's my friends fault entirely for letting her have a sleep over at her friends house in the first place."

Not at all, by inviting the group for a sleepover she is agreeing to be the responsible adult whilst the kids are under her roof so therefore she is the legal guardian as agreed. By allowing them, if she has allowed it mind, to get so pissed to be unconscious then she has committed neglect. Although the police would have to have witnessed it themselves at the time. Calling them a week or so down the line isn't going to achieve the same response or action because they havnt seen it first hand.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

who knows how much and who was putting the vodka in the drinks, im sure they werent swigging it from a bottle, who was pouring, were they playing drinking games, "

my friend had no idea they would be drinking,it was a sleepover, not a party,or she wouldn't have let her daughter go.

and yes, they were just 'swigging it from the bottle'..wine and then vodka..because theyre 15 and idiots! but that was apparently fine with the householder, who thinks 'thats just what they do'.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Second hand information relayed by teenagers and gleaned from conversations overheard during a phone call aren't the best basis for forming a useful opinion.

How's the d*unk girl now, has she recovered? Any input from the mum in charge?

When I was 16 my friends parents went away for a week and because I was so trustworthy allowed her to stay at home as long as I stayed with her. We drank Cinzano until we were sick one night. Held a seance another. Drank too much another night and overslept for our saturday job. The other nights she left me there alone and went and stayed with her boyfriend during which time the police did a drugs raid on his flat.

Teenagers do bad stuff but if an adult is present I feel they should do what they can to prevent it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you are worried about child you must call social services. We ALL have a duty of care to protect children. Don't let them slip through the net. The changes are someone else may have called children's services and you might have that missing piece of vital information. im not worried about the child..she's fine now,if a little pale! im concerned about an idiot yummy mummy who seems to think its fine for her daughter and daughters friends to do what they like in her house..and now i've passed on the information from a poster above and the childs mother is checking with the hospital to see if they reported it, and if not, is asking them to..this borough is the worst in london for teen age alcohol admissions to hospital because its full of 'cool' middle class twats who wrap their kids in cotton rule ,then release them into the wild at 14 and wonder why they dont have a grain of common sense!

Obviously I don't know anything about this situation or any issues with this lady but ....

You're slating this 'yummy mummy' for giving a safe environment for her kids and their friends to learn from mistakes they would almost certainly make anyway.

I don't agree with having kids drinking but I don't judge people for allowing their kids a much safer environment where they can intervene if needed.

There is much worse things out in the world than a mother who portrays to be on her kids level, she may be much more responsible than anybody gives her credit for.

tbh most of us started young, most of me and my friends knew our limits. Odd time we got too hammered but no trips to hospitals or anything. our parents didn't mind as long as we weren't totally fucked. maybe have a word with your child in question to be more sensible

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

my thoughts exactly, but apparently we're both wrong, it's my friends fault entirely for letting her have a sleep over at her friends house in the first place."

The trouble is you failed to give a full account of the situation in your first post.

You asked a simple set of questions

if it is reported to the police, do they have a legitimate duty to speak to her about it?"

Then when people give you considered advice based on the knowledge you have passed on you start adding addition snippets.

This is what often happens when police question suspects and they add addition information to make their defence sound more plausible until eventually they end up incriminating themselves.

We are not saying you are doing that but you must see how it looks to those who give a reasoned answer which you then criticise by adding extra information which you previously kept back

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

When I was 16 I had a party and we drank alcohol. I passed out in the bathroom and my friend got so d*unk she had to be taken home by 9pm.

Was my mum neglectful, I don't think so. Like you say, teenagers do stupid stuff but if they do it at home it's better than down the park or under an underpass somewhere.

Mind you my mum did look after us and no one went to hospital. As far as I can remember none of the parents were upset at my mum for allowing us to drink while we were in her care.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Second hand information relayed by teenagers and gleaned from conversations overheard during a phone call aren't the best basis for forming a useful opinion.

How's the d*unk girl now, has she recovered? Any input from the mum in charge?

Teenagers do bad stuff but if an adult is present I feel they should do what they can to prevent it."

I did stupid things when out of my parents sight many times..thats kind of my point..by the time the ambulance was there, other parents had arrived, called by their daughters, so , no the householders reaction is not hearsay..she hasnt even called to find out if the girl is ok, and was completely unrepentant when the other parents arrived, angry and just kept insisting it was 'just what they do'..and i agree, that was my point, if an adult was present they have some duty of care, but apparently im wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Perhaps she was embarrassed and humiliated and so was putting a face on the situation.

No one is saying you are wrong, just putting other sides of an argument for a situation that none of us, not even you, we're present at. It's all hypothetical conjecture. Stop being so defensive.

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

who brought the alcohol?? theyre to blame

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack."

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

my friend had no idea they would be drinking,it was a sleepover, not a party,or she wouldn't have let her daughter go."

Bet the daughter knew they'd be drinking, exactly the reason she didn't tell her parents, cuz she wanted to go!

"and yes, they were just 'swigging it from the bottle'..wine and then vodka..because theyre 15 and idiots! but that was apparently fine with the householder, who thinks 'thats just what they do'."

Guess most of us were '15 and idiots', 'it's just what we did'

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Bloody kid's eh!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Second hand information relayed by teenagers and gleaned from conversations overheard during a phone call aren't the best basis for forming a useful opinion.

How's the d*unk girl now, has she recovered? Any input from the mum in charge?

Teenagers do bad stuff but if an adult is present I feel they should do what they can to prevent it.

I don't think you're wrong, as I said if an adult is present their job is to stop things going too far. I think one persons too far is another persons "bit of harmless fun". If what you describe happened to one of my kids I wouldn't be happy.

My mum threatened to throw me out when I came home d*unk at 16...other end of the spectrum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice."

My advice to your "friend" is to make sure she knows more about what her child is doing and who her friends are and what they are like as individuals. It pays diverdens to be best friends with your children.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Perhaps she was embarrassed and humiliated and so was putting a face on the situation.

No one is saying you are wrong, just putting other sides of an argument for a situation that none of us, not even you, we're present at. It's all hypothetical conjecture. Stop being so defensive. "

i am being defensive because i feel some people have said some really nasty things....teenagers are assholes, that is clear, they do stupid things, but i just feel an adult happily allowing her young daughter and her friends to drink copious amounts of wine and vodka, and then trying to prevent them getting help when one of them collapses, is wrong.

Apparently i am wrong though and they should be merrily allowed to do whatever they like, and if they get into difficulty that is their own parents fault.

No point discussing it any further.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bloody kid's eh!

"
.

Parents... What a bunch of party poopers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"She was in loco parentis. The minor children in her home were under her care. It's not a matter of who bought the alcohol, she allowed a child to become so intoxicated an ambulance had to be called."

This, and child neglect I'm pretty sure.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

Having parented two kids through teenage and come out the other side I can say that kids lie. You might think you know where they are, who they're with and what they're doing but in many cases you don't. I wasn't our daughters best friend, I suspect she saw me as her worst enemy but I told her time and time again that she could tell me anything and that I would rather know where she really was and what she was really doing so I could easily get her out of any trouble she might get in to. Didn't happen.

If you can be best friends with your children I salute you but it isn't always possible until they are adults.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"Perhaps she was embarrassed and humiliated and so was putting a face on the situation.

No one is saying you are wrong, just putting other sides of an argument for a situation that none of us, not even you, we're present at. It's all hypothetical conjecture. Stop being so defensive.

Apparently i am wrong though and they should be merrily allowed to do whatever they like, and if they get into difficulty that is their own parents fault.

No point discussing it any further."

Again, no one has said that you are wrong. You are correct that there is no point discussing it further if you are just going to read things that aren't there.

There are a multitude of things in situations like this that could have been different. You want the blame to lie solely at the feet of the mother whose house it was and people have said she is implicated but not solely responsible.

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By *homasP80Man over a year ago

Linwood

I'm not 100% sure about this, thought young teenagers were allowed to drink at home, under supervision and only small/moderate amounts (like a small glass of wine)

I think this is more common in mainland Europe (like France).

Mainland Europe seem to have better sense of alcohol, where they drink in moderation, even adults, like a glass or 2 of wine, or beer with dinner.

Whenever a lot of brits go on holiday it's a big booze-up, get up go for a "full English breakfast" and basically drink almost the whole day. Goodness knows how many fellow brits I've been embarrassed about, absolutely d*unk/unconscious in full blazing sun loungers, blootered at pubs, loud/aggressive etc.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not 100% sure about this, thought young teenagers were allowed to drink at home, under supervision and only small/moderate amounts (like a small glass of wine)

I think this is more common in mainland Europe (like France).

Mainland Europe seem to have better sense of alcohol, where they drink in moderation, even adults, like a glass or 2 of wine, or beer with dinner.

And?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

If you can be best friends with your children I salute you but it isn't always possible until they are adults."

I've been thro a lot in the last 5 years with my daughters. Yes I do believe they tell me everything. If you follow my green arrow you will see me often over the last year talking about my daughters.

I have actually been in this very situation with rose last year where a "sleepover" got out of hand. My daughter only drinks a limited amount because she has seen me and her dad her nana and her auntie as d*unks. She rang me the nite of the sleepover cos the lady was kicking all the d*unk teenagers out onto the street. Dispite me being in pain I walked rose and 3 of her friends home to ensure there safety. One of her friends was that d*unk she kept trying to sit on the pavement n sleep but I frogg matched her anyway. So yes I stand by all I've said on this thread.

The mother HAS to shoulder some of the blame.

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

[Removed by poster at 20/05/17 19:07:08]

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

"I'm not 100% sure about this, thought young teenagers were allowed to drink at home, under supervision and only small/moderate amounts (like a small glass of wine)

I think this is more common in mainland Europe (like France).

Mainland Europe seem to have better sense of alcohol, where they drink in moderation, even adults, like a glass or 2 of wine, or beer with dinner.

And?"
think he wants to blame holidays

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And I still suspect op as the mother and she is only reacting the way she is because she expected us all to say. Oh how terrible you poor thing for letting your daughter get so pissed she ended up in hospital.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

If you can be best friends with your children I salute you but it isn't always possible until they are adults.

I've been thro a lot in the last 5 years with my daughters. Yes I do believe they tell me everything. If you follow my green arrow you will see me often over the last year talking about my daughters.

The mother HAS to shoulder some of the blame."

I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm not saying the mother whose house it was shouldn't shoulder some of the blame. What I am saying is we don't know the full story, teenagers lie and not all of us know everything about what our kids do.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Bloody kid's eh!

Parents... What a bunch of party poopers

If you don't be good you'll be grounded!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bloody kid's eh!

Parents... What a bunch of party poopers

If you don't be good you'll be grounded!

"
.

I quite like being grounded these days

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

"Bloody kid's eh!

Parents... What a bunch of party poopers

If you don't be good you'll be grounded!

"
..... or given a bottle of vodka and sent to bed

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And I still suspect op as the mother and she is only reacting the way she is because she expected us all to say. Oh how terrible you poor thing for letting your daughter get so pissed she ended up in hospital."

She has said several times that she isn't the mother and she doesn't have any kids so why keep repeating yourself, you can suspect all you like but saying it over and over isn't going to make it any truer is it.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Bloody kid's eh!

Parents... What a bunch of party poopers

If you don't be good you'll be grounded!

..... or given a bottle of vodka and sent to bed

No!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!"

Of course we are there parents and disapline dictates that but imho it's better to be best friends with your children them be enemies cos then you certainly never know what they are doing.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!"

I'm inclined to agree. It can be quite difficult to be friends with your children when they're teenagers. As I said I salute those who manage it but I couldn't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clippty clop clippty clop

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

I would say the child will learn not to drink so much.

Getting police involved is pathetic and whilst yes the other parents should have some care,teenagers will get pissed what ever

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

just have them chipped and be done with it.

Open up the app, aha there the little cherub is!.. Just outside bargain booze hey.

Release the hounds

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

"Bloody kid's eh!

Parents... What a bunch of party poopers

If you don't be good you'll be grounded!

..... or given a bottle of vodka and sent to bed

No!

Sorry....

I've done serious and genuine honest answer here. The daughter is ok, little pale, but nothing a paracetamol and groggy feeling won't sort. Happy ending really.

Just a bit of fun now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clippty clop clippty clop"

Is that you cantering off back to the stable is it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!

I'm inclined to agree. It can be quite difficult to be friends with your children when they're teenagers. As I said I salute those who manage it but I couldn't."

I must be a rarity then cos I am best friends with my girls and I make it my buissnes to know what's going on in their lives. Yes they can be arseholes and 2 years ago I wasn't even fit enogh to be their mother so I guess being best friends with my girls now is more important then anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clippty clop clippty clop

Is that you cantering off back to the stable is it

Nahhyyy xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!

I'm inclined to agree. It can be quite difficult to be friends with your children when they're teenagers. As I said I salute those who manage it but I couldn't.

Your definitely a one off..I have a sixth sense in these matters

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!

I'm inclined to agree. It can be quite difficult to be friends with your children when they're teenagers. As I said I salute those who manage it but I couldn't.

Your definitely a one off..I have a sixth sense in these matters"

Well yeah that helps too. First thing H said after she came out was "mum how did you know that I'm gay" I said "I'm your mother it's my job to know before you tell me".

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!

I'm inclined to agree. It can be quite difficult to be friends with your children when they're teenagers. As I said I salute those who manage it but I couldn't.

That's great. I would have loved that kind of relationship with our kids but it didn't happen.

We're great friends now though and im happy for that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!

I'm inclined to agree. It can be quite difficult to be friends with your children when they're teenagers. As I said I salute those who manage it but I couldn't.

That's great. I would have loved that kind of relationship with our kids but it didn't happen.

We're great friends now though and im happy for that."

I'm glad your good friends now.

I'll never be friends with my mum no matter how hard I try. She's too cold and tbh I don't wish death on her cos I love her but it will be a welcome realise for me. X

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

No she wasn't just because the children were in her house that does not put her in the legal position of loco parentis.

For the householder to have any responsibility they would have to be proved guilty of negligence.

Negligence means doing something that a prudent and reasonable person would not do, or failing to do something that a prudent and reasonable person would do.

The duty of care requires a person to consider the consequences of their acts or omissions and to ensure that those acts or omissions do not give rise to a foreseeable risk of injury to anybody.

We would suggest that in the case discussed a prudent and reasonable person would simply think the children would get a bit tipsy, rather than become unconscious due to the drink, but then again we have not been given all the information.

How much drink was there and what type, how many children were drinking, what was the time span of the drinking, and they eaten

It is very difficult in most cases to prove that is why there are few successful prosecutions

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!

I'm inclined to agree. It can be quite difficult to be friends with your children when they're teenagers. As I said I salute those who manage it but I couldn't.

They only allow you to know certain details

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suspect your the parent and your nust scrabbling around trying to find someone else to take up your slack.

i am not the parent. i have no children,just a very angry and upset friend who asked me for some help and advice.

To a degree yes,but we're their parents not their best friend's!

I'm inclined to agree. It can be quite difficult to be friends with your children when they're teenagers. As I said I salute those who manage it but I couldn't.

They only allow you to know certain details

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyhow my advise is start them off on something quite mellow like 2 litre bottles of white lightning and never allow them top shelf stuff until there over 16!

Common sense don't you know

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

"Anyhow my advise is start them off on something quite mellow like 2 litre bottles of white lightning and never allow them top shelf stuff until there over 16!

Common sense don't you know

In my day, it was 'thunderbirds' or '20/20'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Anyhow my advise is start them off on something quite mellow like 2 litre bottles of white lightning and never allow them top shelf stuff until there over 16!

Common sense don't you know

In my day, it was 'thunderbirds' or '20/20'

"
.

No pints of snakebite until your 18th birthday!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Anyhow my advise is start them off on something quite mellow like 2 litre bottles of white lightning and never allow them top shelf stuff until there over 16!

Common sense don't you know

So when are you allowed the top shelf stuff then?

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By *im_66Woman over a year ago

Bradford

I was thinking this, the medics should be concerned as it is a neglect issue, as a parent I would be phoning police.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

just as an update...a party at this womans 14 yr old daughters house is going ahead as planned tonight ..lots of the kids arent allowed to go after last night, but plenty are..obviously she doesn't think a child in her house being hospitalised last night is a problem.

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

A general thought re: underage drinking.

I was (un)fortunate enough to be brought up in the country where there was bugger all else to do apart from drnk and/or do drugs.

I always found that the kids that went too far and managed to do themselves in on spirits were those who hadn't been around drink/had strict parents in that regard. I'd been allowed beer/cider/wine at home in moderation, and I definitely had too much at times, my mates parents gave me beer in full knowledge of my parents and nobody seemd to mind.

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By *dy-ukTV/TS over a year ago

Alcester

Dunno what to say.

Don't think we have all the facts.

Think some things are blown out of proportion.

She was hospitalised, ambulances had to be called, she was unconscious.

Sound like she just drank too much and sleeping.

Did ambulance HAVE to be called, better safe than sorry, but it seems she wasn't kept in hospital, soon home and ok.

So, as this girl, took it on herself to get totally d*unk, the party tonight must, I assume another girls birthday, in your eyes should be cancelled? Why exactly?

Maybe the party can go ahead without alcohol?

Sorry but the whole thread, as said before, were given little bits, as and when it suits.

Other bits, I feel are exaggerated, to suit your side too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A general thought re: underage drinking.

I was (un)fortunate enough to be brought up in the country where there was bugger all else to do apart from drnk and/or do drugs.

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"A general thought re: underage drinking.

I was (un)fortunate enough to be brought up in the country where there was bugger all else to do apart from drnk and/or do drugs.

Yeah, and all the people who I know who did themselves in on spirits when we were underage had them "supplied" by their parents, just....unknowingly....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dunno what to say.

Don't think we have all the facts.

Think some things are blown out of proportion.

She was hospitalised, ambulances had to be called, she was unconscious.

Sound like she just drank too much and sleeping.

Did ambulance HAVE to be called, better safe than sorry, but it seems she wasn't kept in hospital, soon home and ok.

So, as this girl, took it on herself to get totally d*unk, the party tonight must, I assume another girls birthday, in your eyes should be cancelled? Why exactly?

Maybe the party can go ahead without alcohol?

Sorry but the whole thread, as said before, were given little bits, as and when it suits.

Other bits, I feel are exaggerated, to suit your side too."

no. tonights party is at the same womans house, the daughter is already telling friends her mum has got vodka and wine in...not sure what you think was exaggerated..all the girls were very very d*unk...which is their fault entirely, but wouldnt have happened if they were in a house where the parent was not letting them get very d*unk! when their parents turned up after being called to pick them up the woman was completely un repentant and and angry..and no, she wasn't 'sleeping'...she collapsed, had breathing difficulty and the hospital only released her this morning..

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

"A general thought re: underage drinking.

I was (un)fortunate enough to be brought up in the country where there was bugger all else to do apart from drnk and/or do drugs.

beer is very different to happily supplying a 14 yr old with bottles of vodka..which it now transpires is what happened...and tonights party is the same...the daughter has been on snapchat telling mates her mum has supplied vodka and wine for tonights party."
well at end of day you can only propose that your friend should talk to her daughter consider where her daughter goes and who she considers as friends.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A general thought re: underage drinking.

I was (un)fortunate enough to be brought up in the country where there was bugger all else to do apart from drnk and/or do drugs.

beer is very different to happily supplying a 14 yr old with bottles of vodka..which it now transpires is what happened...and tonights party is the same...the daughter has been on snapchat telling mates her mum has supplied vodka and wine for tonights party. well at end of day you can only propose that your friend should talk to her daughter consider where her daughter goes and who she considers as friends."

which of course, she has done, and alerted all her friends parents..but it beggars belief that this woman still thinks its ok to have a party the next night,and supply the drink for it.

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By *wingtolifeCouple over a year ago

who knows

"A general thought re: underage drinking.

I was (un)fortunate enough to be brought up in the country where there was bugger all else to do apart from drnk and/or do drugs.

beer is very different to happily supplying a 14 yr old with bottles of vodka..which it now transpires is what happened...and tonights party is the same...the daughter has been on snapchat telling mates her mum has supplied vodka and wine for tonights party. well at end of day you can only propose that your friend should talk to her daughter consider where her daughter goes and who she considers as friends.

which of course, she has done, and alerted all her friends parents..but it beggars belief that this woman still thinks its ok to have a party the next night,and supply the drink for it."
well im sure we'll see how many irresponsible parents allow their daughters to go to this party.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why doesn't your friend go and speak to the mother herself?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why doesn't your friend go and speak to the mother herself?"

she attempted to last night..obviously...which is when the woman said 'its just what they do'..didnt apologise, showed no remorse that it had happened in her home..the ambulance was there , and the woman was till trying to say 'oh she's fine, she's asleep now, no point her going home now'...very reluctant to let the crew in..they had to say to her that if she didnt let them in to look at the girl they would call the police,which was when she let them in. the girls mother is not an idiot! just thinks someone with some sort of authority should impress on her how ridiculous her actions are..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not sure any authority would get involved, understand this is personal to you but they simply wouldn't class this as a priority... Plus the homeowner could deny knowledge of them drinking

At 14 the girl is a minor however has responsibility for her own actions.

Sorry OP but I think it's something that needs addressing parent to parent

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure any authority would get involved, understand this is personal to you but they simply wouldn't class this as a priority... Plus the homeowner could deny knowledge of them drinking

At 14 the girl is a minor however has responsibility for her own actions.

Sorry OP but I think it's something that needs addressing parent to parent"

That's where you are wrong, the police would respond to the call and make a referral to social services who would follow it up. Well that's what would happen in my part of the world anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not sure any authority would get involved, understand this is personal to you but they simply wouldn't class this as a priority... Plus the homeowner could deny knowledge of them drinking

At 14 the girl is a minor however has responsibility for her own actions.

Sorry OP but I think it's something that needs addressing parent to parent

That's where you are wrong, the police would respond to the call and make a referral to social services who would follow it up. Well that's what would happen in my part of the world anyway."

this is exactly right..the mother has followed up her daughters A&E referral last night now,and has been told that they have, as is their usual practice, after questioning the parents and the girl ,and 2 of her friends. passed it on to social services, who will check out the address..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sticking my two pennies in here!

Firstly I feel that someone's comments are more of a 'look at me I'm an awesome parent' rather than helpful.

I drank as a kid, only once did I get rat arsed.

We were brought up outside of the U.K. & having wine with dinner was normal.

Alcohol has never been an issue for me but I also don't have an addictive personality.

Your friends daughter will remember this, she'll realise how close she came to bring seriously ill.

It is not ok, whether legal or not, for a parent to provide copious amounts of alcohol to minors.

Of course a few glasses of wine are ok but allowing them to get to the point where one of the children collapses unconscious due to alcohol intake is extremely negligent.

If I was your friend I'd be contacting the police for advice & also advising them of the party tonight!

Kids have do much pressure put on them these days & they DO NOT tell parents everything.

I don't want to be best friends with my child, I want to parent him correctly. There is a difference

Good luck to you OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Apologies for the typos, I just ate a galaxy caramel & my fingers are sticky

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Sticking my two pennies in here!