FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can anyone other women relate to this....
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! " That | |||
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"I can definitely relate! It's a shame we don't see ourselves through other people's eyes sometimes " Oh goodness I'm so glad it's not just me | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! " Yes this. | |||
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"A few years back I felt exactly the same as you OP, but I don't believe in leagues anymore, just attraction" How did you get over that feeling though? Just thought 'to hell with it' ? I'm usually quite a confident person but sometimes I still get stumped | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! Yes this. " It is inc_edibly flattering and exciting though -- I'm not saying I don't want to be approached -- just everything renders me paralysed when I actually like and fancy someone because then....the fear happens. And as my fear is related to body confidence, the awesomeness of someone else's body can leave me in a state of apoplexy about meeting. | |||
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"I feel the same as part of a couple that I (Storm) don't match up to the single lady or the lady in the couple we are looking at ..by the way OP you are gorgeous x" Now I think you're just beautiful | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! " Spot on this exactly. Op you have a fantastic figure. | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " Not exclusive to single women, we both can feel that way too | |||
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"I (mrs) love women with wobbly bits--- says so on profile----- Wobbly bits are sexy x " You've a lovely profile | |||
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"A few years back I felt exactly the same as you OP, but I don't believe in leagues anymore, just attraction How did you get over that feeling though? Just thought 'to hell with it' ? I'm usually quite a confident person but sometimes I still get stumped " I just realised that very sexy people who I'd conside_ed out of my league were finding me attractive, even after seeing me naked there was probably an element of 'to hell with it' too! | |||
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"It's not just you ladies that feel this way You get some couples with a ripped guy, and think 'oh' too!" Oh really? This is interesting to know that this feeling effects men also. | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! Yes this. It is inc_edibly flattering and exciting though -- I'm not saying I don't want to be approached -- just everything renders me paralysed when I actually like and fancy someone because then....the fear happens. And as my fear is related to body confidence, the awesomeness of someone else's body can leave me in a state of apoplexy about meeting. " Especially when you know the person you like fancies others with far better bodies than yours you're left kinda going ummm eeek I'm going be such a disappointment or compromise or lowering of standards for them, and I've got pride you know, I'd rather flirt and be of interest then meet and disappoint. This is my own personal hell and what happens in my head. Of those I've met, I've had fantastic times -- I wish I could work out how those people managed to pierce through my mindblock so I could use the skill on myself!! | |||
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"Yes, totally. I know I look OK and my pics are alright but sometimes someone is just so stunning I have to assume they'd be disappointed if they met me because I just won't add up to the picture they have in their heads in reality and by comparison with my saggy, wobbly bits that don't necessarily come across in my public photo gallery because they're still images. It's not cutting off my nose to spite my face or a lack of self esteem, merely applying rational thought." But I think of you as one of those... I'm in awe of your pictures and are on my hotlist | |||
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"I feel the same as part of a couple that I (Storm) don't match up to the single lady or the lady in the couple we are looking at ..by the way OP you are gorgeous x Now I think you're just beautiful " thank you xx | |||
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"I can definitely relate! It's a shame we don't see ourselves through other people's eyes sometimes " You have got to be kidding me! As if!!!!! | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! Yes this. It is inc_edibly flattering and exciting though -- I'm not saying I don't want to be approached -- just everything renders me paralysed when I actually like and fancy someone because then....the fear happens. And as my fear is related to body confidence, the awesomeness of someone else's body can leave me in a state of apoplexy about meeting. " Oh goodness yes.....I know I can come across as a bubbly thing but sometimes stripped back and baring all so to speak I become very nervous | |||
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"It's not just you ladies that feel this way You get some couples with a ripped guy, and think 'oh' too!" Yeah. You get a sickeningly good looking guy wink/message you as a couple and you think hey ho they'll be a down side. Then you see he's hung like Dirk Diggler so you delete the message quick before the mrs sees it!! Lol lol | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " Same for blokes really. We're not all 'hi fives and slamming pint glasses'. That said, if we were all the same it would be a bit shite. Content with my 'lot' these days. Is what it is! | |||
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"It's not just you ladies that feel this way You get some couples with a ripped guy, and think 'oh' too!" or you read the veris and have a nose and think - why the hell have they started talking to me? 'massivedong89' who went for 3 weeks before shooting a bucket of cum all over her is nothing like me | |||
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"Oh god yes, normally I look at their pics and wonder what it is about me they like. I do feel better once we've swapped a few messages but feel a bit self conscious undressing in front of them at first x " Exactly this | |||
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"I'm very wobbly. Sometimes I worry that no-one is going to find me attractive but I'm working on the self esteem issues " I've just had a peek at your profile and I think you're beautiful. | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " I can totally relate to this! | |||
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"I used to feel like that. Now I just don't bother meeting. Problem solved. " Seriously though, I think it's easier once you get older to not have so many hang ups. I don't bother comparing myself to others as I know there's always going to be those with better bodies. It's wasted energy in my opinion. I know that those I've met have always been satisfied with what they get and that's good enough for me. I won't let having a wobbly body ruin what fun I could be having. | |||
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"I used to feel like that. Now I just don't bother meeting. Problem solved. Seriously though, I think it's easier once you get older to not have so many hang ups. I don't bother comparing myself to others as I know there's always going to be those with better bodies. It's wasted energy in my opinion. I know that those I've met have always been satisfied with what they get and that's good enough for me. I won't let having a wobbly body ruin what fun I could be having. " I really love your attitude and I just wish I could have the same when I came to other woman | |||
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"I used to feel like that. Now I just don't bother meeting. Problem solved. Seriously though, I think it's easier once you get older to not have so many hang ups. I don't bother comparing myself to others as I know there's always going to be those with better bodies. It's wasted energy in my opinion. I know that those I've met have always been satisfied with what they get and that's good enough for me. I won't let having a wobbly body ruin what fun I could be having. I really love your attitude and I just wish I could have the same when I came to other woman " *women | |||
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"This never really made sense to me because Marc finds various body shapes sexy, so I just figu_ed that men like variation in general. If he wanted to have sex with someone just like me, he'd have sex with...me " I agree with Marc, I also want to have sex with someone just like you And every one of you beautiful women in here. Remember, beauty is subjective, guys and girls love a variety, sometimes it's about the mind, the body, the face or a mix of it all. Above all, be confident with what you have, it's sexy and it shows when you're comfortable and confident in your own skin. | |||
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"I used to feel like that. Now I just don't bother meeting. Problem solved. Seriously though, I think it's easier once you get older to not have so many hang ups. I don't bother comparing myself to others as I know there's always going to be those with better bodies. It's wasted energy in my opinion. I know that those I've met have always been satisfied with what they get and that's good enough for me. I won't let having a wobbly body ruin what fun I could be having. " It is totally wasted energy you're right. I wonder, and I'm speaking from my own perspective here, for me I think the fact I don't have a partner (a someone that loves me) exacerbates my sabotaging feelings, a case of no one wanted me so I must be right that I'm disgusting. I know how self-fulfilling prophecy that sounds, and in life you'd not realise how lacking in confidence I am if you met me, as I know you need to "put it on, to make it a bit" -- but it's hard to not look around and think well the evidence doesn't exactly point to the fact that you're a catch.... I hope continuing to age it'll continue to be less of a worry. | |||
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"I used to feel that way until I'd attended a few events and parties, and realised that a) often those with the most amazing pics online look very different in reality, and b) people I'd chatted to at these events often contacted afterwards to arrange a follow-up meet, so I can't be as wobbly as I think I am They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder... Who are we to argue? " This ...I this | |||
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"This never really made sense to me because Marc finds various body shapes sexy, so I just figu_ed that men like variation in general. If he wanted to have sex with someone just like me, he'd have sex with...me " this is a very good theory. | |||
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"Baby you light up my world like nobody else......... You don't know... You don't know that you'r beautiful.... That's what makes you beautiful....... " You sing so well | |||
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"Baby you light up my world like nobody else......... You don't know... You don't know that you'r beautiful.... That's what makes you beautiful....... " Aww M1cks you says the nicest things fs | |||
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"We all have wobbles and wonder why someone would want us. Don't we? " Oh goodness yes of course we do....I'm just curious if it affects others as it does me | |||
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"We all have wobbles and wonder why someone would want us. Don't we? Oh goodness yes of course we do....I'm just curious if it affects others as it does me " I've lost quite a bit of weight and sometimes I forget this, I still feel a bit grim and negative about parts of my body. I worry I will be a disappoint when I meet someone because of filters etc on photos. It's tough, you are your own worst critic. | |||
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"Baby you light up my world like nobody else......... You don't know... You don't know that you'r beautiful.... That's what makes you beautiful....... You sing so well " Ta duck | |||
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"Baby you light up my world like nobody else......... You don't know... You don't know that you'r beautiful.... That's what makes you beautiful....... Aww M1cks you says the nicest things fs " You're welcome | |||
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"Im not trying to be big headed here but I get it the other way. I am genuinely attracted to bigger girls yet most hardly talk to me because they feel paranoid or whatever. If they make contact then they are interested, if your pics are on show then they've seen them and are into you. Embrace it! Wobbly bits are sexy too!! " Wobbly bits are sexy too? No bloody way. | |||
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" It's tough, you are your own worst critic." This exactly this | |||
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"I can relate! I am slowly beginning to stop comparing myself to others but it's hard. It has stopped me meeting in the past too. I think generally we all need to be a little kinder to ourselves x" I think you're quite right. | |||
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"Im not trying to be big headed here but I get it the other way. I am genuinely attracted to bigger girls yet most hardly talk to me because they feel paranoid or whatever. If they make contact then they are interested, if your pics are on show then they've seen them and are into you. Embrace it! Wobbly bits are sexy too!! Wobbly bits are sexy too? No bloody way." I hate to say I agree with you. But I agree with you. There ain't nothing sexy about my wobbly bits. | |||
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"Not so much other women But when gym fit guys message me I get a bit.... Erm..hello have you seen my fat ass??? lol " Oh goodness yes ...it's not just women that make me feel like this... | |||
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"Yeah definitely! Men can be just as body conscious! " This really interests me....that guys too can feel this way... | |||
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"I much prefer a few wobbly bits to be fair! And i'm pretty damn certain i'm not the only. I just think its natural for people to doubt their own desirability" yes | |||
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"Sometimes I do yes. I try not to but I can't help feeling that they'll just be inc_edibly disappointed with me, especially if their veris are all from similar people. I know it's not rational but meh - I want to emphasise I'm not the 'gym fit' type they mention being interested in." Oh yes..you get it too... I'm terrible at putting on a mask I guess the this the 'fab me' but in private this is the ' real me' .. | |||
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"I spent years literally unable to look at myself in a mirror without my heart sinking as I was so disgusted with what I saw. Fast forward to now and I realise I was probably suffering from body dysmorphia then, and feel so sad I wasted so many opportunities to get to know people and/or have fun because I thought they'd never be remotely interested in me. It's crazy because I'd have been no worse off even if I'd gone for it, and been rejected - at least I'd have tried! The way I feel about my body still isn't brilliant but nowhere near as skewed as it used to be, and partly that's come about as the more I speak to people on here, and the more threads like this I read, I've realised that the vast majority of people don't have much body confidence - and that includes the ones who look stunning in my opinion (which is subjective of course). I always make a *big* thing of my 'faults' (scars, mum tum, wrinkles!) before I meet - which admittedly is a bit of a gamble, as negativity can be unattractive - but when it's come to it in real life, no-one's ever recoiled in horror and little by little, I think that's helping me too. There may be a few people about whose preferences are for their very specific 'ideal' but I really do think most people here, providing there's an initial attraction to someone's profile and pics, accept that very few of us are perfect and care far more about mutual chemistry than the odd perceived 'fault'. No one has *ever* said 'oh yeah, you were right, your stomach *is* disgusting' and half the stuff I moan about isn't noticed. Really, if you click, most people just don't care and are attracted to the whole overall individual package. And it's amazing how often someone else's perception of you is completely at odds with how you see yourself." I think I've just fallen in with you...thank you for sharing this.... I guess it really isn't the best all and end all.... I've never been a fit,small person and it's taken me years to remotely get confidence to do this but I'm very lucky that I've got some very wonderful people in my life that help me see this..though it's still can't stop you feeling these thoughts. | |||
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"I spent years literally unable to look at myself in a mirror without my heart sinking as I was so disgusted with what I saw. Fast forward to now and I realise I was probably suffering from body dysmorphia then, and feel so sad I wasted so many opportunities to get to know people and/or have fun because I thought they'd never be remotely interested in me. It's crazy because I'd have been no worse off even if I'd gone for it, and been rejected - at least I'd have tried! The way I feel about my body still isn't brilliant but nowhere near as skewed as it used to be, and partly that's come about as the more I speak to people on here, and the more threads like this I read, I've realised that the vast majority of people don't have much body confidence - and that includes the ones who look stunning in my opinion (which is subjective of course). I always make a *big* thing of my 'faults' (scars, mum tum, wrinkles!) before I meet - which admittedly is a bit of a gamble, as negativity can be unattractive - but when it's come to it in real life, no-one's ever recoiled in horror and little by little, I think that's helping me too. There may be a few people about whose preferences are for their very specific 'ideal' but I really do think most people here, providing there's an initial attraction to someone's profile and pics, accept that very few of us are perfect and care far more about mutual chemistry than the odd perceived 'fault'. No one has *ever* said 'oh yeah, you were right, your stomach *is* disgusting' and half the stuff I moan about isn't noticed. Really, if you click, most people just don't care and are attracted to the whole overall individual package. And it's amazing how often someone else's perception of you is completely at odds with how you see yourself. I think I've just fallen in with you...thank you for sharing this.... I guess it really isn't the best all and end all.... I've never been a fit,small person and it's taken me years to remotely get confidence to do this but I'm very lucky that I've got some very wonderful people in my life that help me see this..though it's still can't stop you feeling these thoughts. " *be | |||
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"Im not trying to be big headed here but I get it the other way. I am genuinely attracted to bigger girls yet most hardly talk to me because they feel paranoid or whatever. If they make contact then they are interested, if your pics are on show then they've seen them and are into you. Embrace it! Wobbly bits are sexy too!! Wobbly bits are sexy too? No bloody way. I hate to say I agree with you. But I agree with you. There ain't nothing sexy about my wobbly bits. " But everyone has bits they hate. If someone is interested in you then they like what they see. Just bear in mind theyre in the same boat, they may not have the same issues as you but Im pretty sure they'll be there just as nervous thinking of their own. | |||
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"Sometimes I think. Oh. Why you picked me? Then the narcissism kicks in and I think feck it. I'm only in it for the chap anyhow My wobbly bits have wobbly bits. It's pretty obvious so if they want to meet it's likely they took that into consideration. Don't sweat the small stuff OP. Enjoy! " | |||
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"We have messaged a few females and been told they won't meet us for this exsact reason! People need to just learn to be happy in the skin they are in, not going to lie I have no wobbly bits but there's parts of my body I would love to change . If the person /couple did not find you attractive then they would not ask to meet xx" | |||
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"Nope, they can't message me " I just you | |||
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"We have messaged a few females and been told they won't meet us for this exsact reason! People need to just learn to be happy in the skin they are in, not going to lie I have no wobbly bits but there's parts of my body I would love to change . If the person /couple did not find you attractive then they would not ask to meet xx" It's good to see this from the other person's perspective too. Thank you | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! " skinny women are like jeans with no pockets == no where to put your hands long live wobbley ladies | |||
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"I spent years literally unable to look at myself in a mirror without my heart sinking as I was so disgusted with what I saw. Fast forward to now and I realise I was probably suffering from body dysmorphia then, and feel so sad I wasted so many opportunities to get to know people and/or have fun because I thought they'd never be remotely interested in me. It's crazy because I'd have been no worse off even if I'd gone for it, and been rejected - at least I'd have tried! The way I feel about my body still isn't brilliant but nowhere near as skewed as it used to be, and partly that's come about as the more I speak to people on here, and the more threads like this I read, I've realised that the vast majority of people don't have much body confidence - and that includes the ones who look stunning in my opinion (which is subjective of course). I always make a *big* thing of my 'faults' (scars, mum tum, wrinkles!) before I meet - which admittedly is a bit of a gamble, as negativity can be unattractive - but when it's come to it in real life, no-one's ever recoiled in horror and little by little, I think that's helping me too. There may be a few people about whose preferences are for their very specific 'ideal' but I really do think most people here, providing there's an initial attraction to someone's profile and pics, accept that very few of us are perfect and care far more about mutual chemistry than the odd perceived 'fault'. No one has *ever* said 'oh yeah, you were right, your stomach *is* disgusting' and half the stuff I moan about isn't noticed. Really, if you click, most people just don't care and are attracted to the whole overall individual package. And it's amazing how often someone else's perception of you is completely at odds with how you see yourself. I think I've just fallen in with you...thank you for sharing this.... I guess it really isn't the best all and end all.... I've never been a fit,small person and it's taken me years to remotely get confidence to do this but I'm very lucky that I've got some very wonderful people in my life that help me see this..though it's still can't stop you feeling these thoughts. " Women (in particular) are bombarded all the time with (often photo shopped) images of the female 'ideal' in the media and it's *so* hard to remain indifferent to those - I think half the time we absorb those messages without even realising we're doing so. And then you get on Fab, where attraction is all, and forget that this is very often as much as about the cerebral as the physical. In any case, beauty is in the eye of the beholder - a cliché, but true! And the idealised representation of feminine beauty just isn't realistic for most of us. Aside from photo manipulation (which gets rid of cellulite and stretchmarks etc), a number of the women who meet that ideal do so by half starving themselves (disclaimer: I'm *not* criticising slimmer women, and I know some people are naturally slim, and attractive too of course .... just pointing out that an 'ideal' body is often very hard won). And we all find different things, and different combinations of things, attractive. Very often, it's not even that easy to say why, exactly, you fancy someone - you just do! And when you do, a tiny aspect of their overall appearance, like a bit of wobble, wouldn't put you off. So called imperfections can actually contribute to their attractiveness because they're what makes you an individual. And FWIW, my perception of you OP is as one of the more attractive women on the forums .... see, not how you see yourself at all | |||
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"But you can accept your body and at the same time accept the fact that you'll feel uncomfortable meeting some. It's not paranoia . Just an irrational feeling." True. But if I let my irrational feelings control me I'd like never get anything done. Easier said than done, I know. -Mr | |||
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"But you can accept your body and at the same time accept the fact that you'll feel uncomfortable meeting some. It's not paranoia . Just an irrational feeling. True. But if I let my irrational feelings control me I'd like never get anything done. Easier said than done, I know. -Mr " You mean like get all those gym fit fannies licked? Meh. I'll be fine I think. | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! skinny women are like jeans with no pockets == no where to put your hands long live wobbley ladies " Please there's no need to be rude or derogatory. | |||
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"But you can accept your body and at the same time accept the fact that you'll feel uncomfortable meeting some. It's not paranoia . Just an irrational feeling. True. But if I let my irrational feelings control me I'd like never get anything done. Easier said than done, I know. -Mr You mean like get all those gym fit fannies licked? Meh. I'll be fine I think. " Well that's not quite what I meant | |||
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"But you can accept your body and at the same time accept the fact that you'll feel uncomfortable meeting some. It's not paranoia . Just an irrational feeling. True. But if I let my irrational feelings control me I'd like never get anything done. Easier said than done, I know. -Mr You mean like get all those gym fit fannies licked? Meh. I'll be fine I think. Well that's not quite what I meant " Euro drinks. I know. I'm being facetious (rare, isn't it?). | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! skinny women are like jeans with no pockets == no where to put your hands long live wobbley ladies Please there's no need to be rude or derogatory. " sorry if you took it that way that's not what was meant, | |||
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"I'm happy to accept that people may find me attractive when I don't and I hope they accept I find them attractive when they don't." I like this | |||
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"OP, at the risk of sounding patronising it's worth keeping in that mind that people's pics don't always match what they look like in person. " Oh yes I'm all too aware of this....but do you mean facially | |||
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"I think there are a number of very sexy ladies on this thread. And part of their sexyness is their minds and personality. I am stimulated on multiple levels and someone can capture my mind then the last really kicks in. So ladies please see yourselves through our eyes. " X-ray eyes horny ? We all doubt ourselves really we all want that perfect body don't we ? | |||
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"I think there are a number of very sexy ladies on this thread. And part of their sexyness is their minds and personality. I am stimulated on multiple levels and someone can capture my mind then the last really kicks in. So ladies please see yourselves through our eyes. " Exactly Irish For me it's about making a connection ,with a woman of course | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " sometimes people look sexy and that's all it is, sometimes people look sexy and have a condor and a vulnerability that is so much more than sexy. I know which one you have. | |||
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"OP, at the risk of sounding patronising it's worth keeping in that mind that people's pics don't always match what they look like in person. Oh yes I'm all too aware of this....but do you mean facially " No not necessarily, it's difficult to explain, as we go to a lot of socials. We find there's people who don't live up to their pics, and others whose pics don't do them justice. Facial features aren't always an issue for me, I have a certain amount of face blindness. | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " Definitely with you on that OP! I cant help but think I don't want to be the fat one | |||
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"I can definitely relate! It's a shame we don't see ourselves through other people's eyes sometimes Oh goodness I'm so glad it's not just me " they may be humouring you mind but I myself like a body with imperfections x | |||
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"Completely agree OP, though it's not just when couples wink it's anyone. I tend to make the assumption that they've made an error in winking. " I accidentally added you to my hotlist | |||
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"I totally get it!! To be honest, I'm in constant fear of meeting any people and them going "Oh, you're well wobbly". So when someone with no wobbles shows interest it's even worse!! " Definitely this ~Sophie | |||
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"I spent years literally unable to look at myself in a mirror without my heart sinking as I was so disgusted with what I saw. Fast forward to now and I realise I was probably suffering from body dysmorphia then, and feel so sad I wasted so many opportunities to get to know people and/or have fun because I thought they'd never be remotely interested in me. It's crazy because I'd have been no worse off even if I'd gone for it, and been rejected - at least I'd have tried! The way I feel about my body still isn't brilliant but nowhere near as skewed as it used to be, and partly that's come about as the more I speak to people on here, and the more threads like this I read, I've realised that the vast majority of people don't have much body confidence - and that includes the ones who look stunning in my opinion (which is subjective of course). I always make a *big* thing of my 'faults' (scars, mum tum, wrinkles!) before I meet - which admittedly is a bit of a gamble, as negativity can be unattractive - but when it's come to it in real life, no-one's ever recoiled in horror and little by little, I think that's helping me too. There may be a few people about whose preferences are for their very specific 'ideal' but I really do think most people here, providing there's an initial attraction to someone's profile and pics, accept that very few of us are perfect and care far more about mutual chemistry than the odd perceived 'fault'. No one has *ever* said 'oh yeah, you were right, your stomach *is* disgusting' and half the stuff I moan about isn't noticed. Really, if you click, most people just don't care and are attracted to the whole overall individual package. And it's amazing how often someone else's perception of you is completely at odds with how you see yourself." | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " I don't meet couples, but the reality is there will always be someone younger, slimmer, prettier, sexier than me. For me my options are clear: I either sit in a corner in a full burka waiting for the Grim Reaper or I embrace what I have and not compare myself to others. Guess which option I've chosen and on a scale of one to ten how happy I am with me. | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. I don't meet couples, but the reality is there will always be someone younger, slimmer, prettier, sexier than me. For me my options are clear: I either sit in a corner in a full burka waiting for the Grim Reaper or I embrace what I have and not compare myself to others. Guess which option I've chosen and on a scale of one to ten how happy I am with me. " Love it | |||
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"This never really made sense to me because Marc finds various body shapes sexy, so I just figu_ed that men like variation in general. If he wanted to have sex with someone just like me, he'd have sex with...me " | |||
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"Interesting to see how women can feel about themselves on fab regarding other body shapes. I am not a woman but I can relate to the feeling of inadequacy you are describing OP. Fab can be a great tool to meet people, yet it can create insecurities, even though, as mentioned above, it is not rational and not due to fab per se but more so to the way we see ourselves and our inner desire to be sort of accepted and approved by others. Our feelings of inadequacy stems from comparing ourselves with other. PS: I do personally find you very attractive and so charming OP. You have surface and substance " Couldn't have put it better than this from a male perspective, for years and years I didn't think of myself as anything special (and still don't to an extent) and as a result I let myself go to the point I was grossly overweight and adopted an "I don't care" view of myself. Then a couple of years ago I got the kick up the rear end I needed and lost the weight to the point I am no longer conside_ed clinically obese. I still have my faults and am still hyper-critical of how I think I look, but have come to accept over the past 18 months or so that actually I AM attractive to some. I'm still not overly confident in that respect but am getting better at it. I think most genuine people are able to see beyond what we individually may perceive as our own self-faults and look at the personality and character as well as the physical package. Whilst I try not to compare to others here, it's difficult not to, but at the end of the day, it's about being able to recognise your own self-worth and realise we're all individually attractive in our own unique ways. For what it's worth there are a lot of people (men and women) on this thread that I'd consider beautiful, even though they don't see themselves that way. | |||
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"Interesting to see how women can feel about themselves on fab regarding other body shapes. I am not a woman but I can relate to the feeling of inadequacy you are describing OP. Fab can be a great tool to meet people, yet it can create insecurities, even though, as mentioned above, it is not rational and not due to fab per se but more so to the way we see ourselves and our inner desire to be sort of accepted and approved by others. Our feelings of inadequacy stems from comparing ourselves with other. PS: I do personally find you very attractive and so charming OP. You have surface and substance " I agree with this too. Just by the very nature of Fab it's hard not to make comparisons with others and at times be left feeling that you're lacking in some way. Sometimes you've got to dig that self confidence out and tell yourself you're different but just as good as anyone else. | |||
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"I find it really endearing that so many of us feel the same. " It's actually been lovely to read this thread. In an utopian society there's no doubt we'd all have no concerns or worries but it's been good to read a thread where women have been able to open up about it. I thought I was a miniscule minority who thought that way at times. | |||
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" Couldn't have put it better than this from a male perspective, for years and years I didn't think of myself as anything special (and still don't to an extent) and as a result I let myself go to the point I was grossly overweight and adopted an "I don't care" view of myself. Then a couple of years ago I got the kick up the rear end I needed and lost the weight to the point I am no longer conside_ed clinically obese. I still have my faults and am still hyper-critical of how I think I look, but have come to accept over the past 18 months or so that actually I AM attractive to some. I'm still not overly confident in that respect but am getting better at it. I think most genuine people are able to see beyond what we individually may perceive as our own self-faults and look at the personality and character as well as the physical package. Whilst I try not to compare to others here, it's difficult not to, but at the end of the day, it's about being able to recognise your own self-worth and realise we're all individually attractive in our own unique ways. For what it's worth there are a lot of people (men and women) on this thread that I'd consider beautiful, even though they don't see themselves that way. " Totally agree and relate to what your saying. And your right, there are a lot of beautiful people on here, some been on my hotlist for a while, after this thread it's got a little fuller | |||
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"I find it really endearing that so many of us feel the same. It's actually been lovely to read this thread. In an utopian society there's no doubt we'd all have no concerns or worries but it's been good to read a thread where women have been able to open up about it. I thought I was a miniscule minority who thought that way at times." I agree with you totally, it's surprised me to read some of you ladies express the same concern as me even though you look the very type I would be comparing myself unfavourably with, just shows we should all be happy as we are. We all have our good and bad parts, it's about accentuating the good and accepting the bad. And knowing that we're all appreciated whatever we think of ourselves x | |||
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"I find it really endearing that so many of us feel the same. It's actually been lovely to read this thread. In an utopian society there's no doubt we'd all have no concerns or worries but it's been good to read a thread where women have been able to open up about it. I thought I was a miniscule minority who thought that way at times." Completely. It's something I wish I'd realised as a young adult. I look back on those pictures and realise I wasn't the fat, awkward girl I thought I was. I still have some body-confidence issues but they're certainly dissipating with age and experience. | |||
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"I'm very wobbly. Sometimes I worry that no-one is going to find me attractive but I'm working on the self esteem issues I've just had a peek at your profile and I think you're beautiful. " Ooh thank you | |||
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"I'm very wobbly. Sometimes I worry that no-one is going to find me attractive but I'm working on the self esteem issues I've just had a peek at your profile and I think you're beautiful. Ooh thank you " Yep I had a peek too! Very sexy | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me " Yeah for sure! I'm yet to meet a couple but ones I've been speaking too I've had that feeling. | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me " Some guys like to see their wives with a "bit of rough". Or maybe feel less jealous if the guy isn't in his league..... or maybe they just don't think like that at all! | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me Some guys like to see their wives with a "bit of rough". Or maybe feel less jealous if the guy isn't in his league..... or maybe they just don't think like that at all! " I'll admit I did think I was being used as the former there. But if that was their thing, then I guess I was willing to be that for them | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " Of course ! I can't help but feel they are just so perfect so why would they want to play with me . But in the occasions we have met some of these hotties , it's always worked out really well and we've gone on to be good friends too . I guess attractiveness is subjective , and there's more to it than just our body ? | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. Of course ! I can't help but feel they are just so perfect so why would they want to play with me . But in the occasions we have met some of these hotties , it's always worked out really well and we've gone on to be good friends too . I guess attractiveness is subjective , and there's more to it than just our body ? " Totally agree ...not many people see that though . X | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me Some guys like to see their wives with a "bit of rough". Or maybe feel less jealous if the guy isn't in his league..... or maybe they just don't think like that at all! I'll admit I did think I was being used as the former there. But if that was their thing, then I guess I was willing to be that for them" Enjoy it | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me " I wouldn't sweat it too much. Yes it can be about a 'bit of rough', but some couples just want to experience something different, not 'less' To paraphrase March Courtney's earlier post, if my wife and I only wanted to have fun with people exactly like us, why swing at all? | |||
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"I always punch above my weight. " As long as you enjoy yourself, there's nothing to worry about! Most women on here do, but they still love it! | |||
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"I always punch above my weight. As long as you enjoy yourself, there's nothing to worry about! Most women on here do, but they still love it! " That's the beauty of fab, it's packed full of horny gym bunny men who can't get laid between exercise regimes. | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me I wouldn't sweat it too much. Yes it can be about a 'bit of rough', but some couples just want to experience something different, not 'less' To paraphrase March Courtney's earlier post, if my wife and I only wanted to have fun with people exactly like us, why swing at all? " Oh, I've changed my viewpoint a lot since then. Do bear in mind that was my very first fab encounter too. I was also nervous as hell | |||
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"I always punch above my weight. As long as you enjoy yourself, there's nothing to worry about! Most women on here do, but they still love it! That's the beauty of fab, it's packed full of horny gym bunny men who can't get laid between exercise regimes. " | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " When they look, wink and message you they obviously find you attractive and appealing to them. They would hopefully have that recindicated. If you think they are out of your league, ask yourself "why would they contact me if they didn't like what they have seen and read about me?". Mr2 | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me I wouldn't sweat it too much. Yes it can be about a 'bit of rough', but some couples just want to experience something different, not 'less' To paraphrase March Courtney's earlier post, if my wife and I only wanted to have fun with people exactly like us, why swing at all? Oh, I've changed my viewpoint a lot since then. Do bear in mind that was my very first fab encounter too. I was also nervous as hell " I don't think I would have been ballsy enough to do that as my first meet. | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me Some guys like to see their wives with a "bit of rough". Or maybe feel less jealous if the guy isn't in his league..... or maybe they just don't think like that at all! " I think you're hugely underestimating how much of a say the female halves have in the decision making process when finding playmates. | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me Some guys like to see their wives with a "bit of rough". Or maybe feel less jealous if the guy isn't in his league..... or maybe they just don't think like that at all! I think you're hugely underestimating how much of a say the female halves have in the decision making process when finding playmates." Agree, just because mr likes the look of the women doesn't mean I'll take one for him it has to be a two way thing. Finding four people who are attracted to each other can be inc_edibly complicated x | |||
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"Only speaking for myself here, but I imagine that other gents get this too. My first fab meet was with a hotwife couple, and the fella was a very dashingly good looking dude. It was very much a "what the hell does she want to see me for?!" feeling for me Some guys like to see their wives with a "bit of rough". Or maybe feel less jealous if the guy isn't in his league..... or maybe they just don't think like that at all! I think you're hugely underestimating how much of a say the female halves have in the decision making process when finding playmates." No, it was the lady making the final decision. That was my point. | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. Of course ! I can't help but feel they are just so perfect so why would they want to play with me . But in the occasions we have met some of these hotties , it's always worked out really well and we've gone on to be good friends too . I guess attractiveness is subjective , and there's more to it than just our body ? " This was the point I was trying to make yesterday. I think I didn't explain it very well, lol. | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. " It's not just women who feel like that. I must be ugly as hell as you seem to have blocked me... | |||
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"When you get a couple look,wink or message you and the female of the couple is just ridicously beautiful and fit ....I mean physically fit...no wobbly bits no mummy tummy or big bottoms it makes me a feel a little bit shy knowing I'm completely out of their league. I'd just like to know if there are other women who feel the same. NB....this is not a body shaming thread in the slightest so please no vulgarities or rudeness. It's not just women who feel like that. I must be ugly as hell as you seem to have blocked me... " That's kinda attempting to shame someone for blocking you there fella. It's their choice. | |||
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"some of the body beautifuls are not nice people though - its not all about looks" | |||
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"We all have wobbles and wonder why someone would want us. Don't we? Oh goodness yes of course we do....I'm just curious if it affects others as it does me " I have serious hang ups about my body.. scar_ed from injuries and a few wobbly bits from operations. I've had a couple of ripped guys send a message... Unfortunately I've just said I'm not their type.. I know it's wrong but I would rather stay clear. Always had body issues... | |||
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