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Opinions; Do they ever leave the wife?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hi all fabbers on the forum...
I was curious/wondering, wanted your opinions and experiences please.....
Do married men ever leave their wives for another person that they been having a affair (or whatever you call it!!) with??
Look forward to your responses!! |
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Some do, some don't. Of those that do some will be faithful to their new lady, others will be unfaithful to her as well...
It all comes down to the individual person and their unique circumstances...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would they leave someone who washes their socks?
It's like another mother surely "
I don't wash Marc's socks....he's going to have an affair and leave me, isn't he?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive hypocrite and it's seriously going against all my morals.......
I have always been someone who would never be 'with' a married man but we are just SO great together!
So damn confused - i don't know what the hell to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive hypocrite and it's seriously going against all my morals.......
I have always been someone who would never be 'with' a married man but we are just SO great together!
So damn confused - i don't know what the hell to do. "
Try to message you OP but I couldn't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive hypocrite and it's seriously going against all my morals.......
I have always been someone who would never be 'with' a married man but we are just SO great together!
So damn confused - i don't know what the hell to do. " its a bit like picking a restaurant why would you go in if no-one else is in there ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would they leave someone who washes their socks?
It's like another mother surely
I don't wash Marc's socks....he's going to have an affair and leave me, isn't he? "
Haha noooo you let him fuck other women - you're the perfect wife
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would they leave someone who washes their socks?
It's like another mother surely
I don't wash Marc's socks....he's going to have an affair and leave me, isn't he? " bound to or grow cultures .....do you have a nasal problem by any chance ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would they leave someone who washes their socks?
It's like another mother surely
I don't wash Marc's socks....he's going to have an affair and leave me, isn't he?
Haha noooo you let him fuck other women - you're the perfect wife
"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive hypocrite and it's seriously going against all my morals.......
I have always been someone who would never be 'with' a married man but we are just SO great together!
So damn confused - i don't know what the hell to do. "
Do you just meet for sex or do you do other things together too and meet with no sex involved? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive hypocrite and it's seriously going against all my morals.......
I have always been someone who would never be 'with' a married man but we are just SO great together!
So damn confused - i don't know what the hell to do.
Thank you - I've just pm'd you - I think that this should remove filters and enable me to message you?
Try to message you OP but I couldn't "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would they leave someone who washes their socks?
It's like another mother surely
I don't wash Marc's socks....he's going to have an affair and leave me, isn't he?
Haha noooo you let him fuck other women - you're the perfect wife
"
Hmmmm Let him fuck other women or wash his socks? I think I chose wisely  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP Some do some don't . I would find it hard to trust not to do it again. Some cant stop themselves men and woman . I know a man who is a loving family man with a young family look so so happy hand in hand really lovely looking wife....... and he is a real player and wife knows nothing and I feel so sorry as I know how hurt she would be .. Some just think of themselves there needs not others . |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Hi all fabbers on the forum...
I was curious/wondering, wanted your opinions and experiences please.....
Do married men ever leave their wives for another person that they been having a affair (or whatever you call it!!) with??
Look forward to your responses!! "
in the spirit of equality can we also ask do woman ever leave there husbands for the man their having affair with .
after all despite men's reps as cheaters surveys carried out on the topic paint a different picture , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If he does leave his wife she will get hurt.
If he chooses to stay with his wife, you will get hurt.
Only the male concerned wins and married men having affairs know they have the upper hand.
I wish you well it's not a great situation to be in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Having been on both sides of the coin with the same person - me cheating with him then him cheating with me, no I'm not proud of it but life experiences and stuff - it rarely ends well.
OP, he probably just wants you as a bit on the side. If his wife finds out, she'd be heartbroken, then stays with him and he'd probably cut you off. Or they split up, their family's ruined and even then who says he'll want to be with you when the thrill and excitement wears off - or you end up always looking over your shoulder for fear he'll do the same to you? No thanks. |
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"Why would they leave someone who washes their socks?
It's like another mother surely
I don't wash Marc's socks....he's going to have an affair and leave me, isn't he? "
Does he wash your socks? I would wash your socks they are rather nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP tell him your going to his home to meet his wife to get things out in the open ..........see what he say? he may even run away OR he may say ok lets go sort this .. You would know where you stand and not be just the bit on the side. |
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Not an easy one.
Maybe you are meant to be together and it's unfortunate that he met her first, or maybe he's always looking for the next best thing and he's putting the effort in because you are not there 24/7... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive hypocrite and it's seriously going against all my morals.......
I have always been someone who would never be 'with' a married man but we are just SO great together!
So damn confused - i don't know what the hell to do. "
It is a very confusing situation. Pm me if you wish am in a similar situation |
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Of course they do! Usually after they've been caught and kicked out of the house for being a cheating bastard and have no other options. Usually dressed up to you as "well I've done it, you think I wouldn't do it but I have! I've left her because I love you"
And you know what, you fall for it every single time!
Reepham what you sew! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would they leave someone who washes their socks?
It's like another mother surely
I don't wash Marc's socks....he's going to have an affair and leave me, isn't he? "
Don't they stink?  |
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"Hi all fabbers on the forum...
I was curious/wondering, wanted your opinions and experiences please.....
Do married men ever leave their wives for another person that they been having a affair (or whatever you call it!!) with??
Look forward to your responses!!
in the spirit of equality can we also ask do woman ever leave there husbands for the man their having affair with .
after all despite men's reps as cheaters surveys carried out on the topic paint a different picture , "
Apparently 2/5th of men cheat but one third of women do! Eye opener indeed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sometimes, and either:-
A) Stay with the person they left their wife for and live happily ever after. Although possibly still have affairs.
B) Go back to their wife if she's mad enough to have them back
C) Have some time alone (that's usually the least taken option from those I've known who had affairs)
Probably other options I've not thought of.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes they do .....I met my partner on here and he left his wife and I left my husband and we are very happy . It works because finally we can actually be ourselves  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Of course they do! Usually after they've been caught and kicked out of the house for being a cheating bastard and have no other options. Usually dressed up to you as "well I've done it, you think I wouldn't do it but I have! I've left her because I love you"
And you know what, you fall for it every single time!
Reepham what you sew! "
Neither me nor my ex got caught. We were the ones who told our partners we were leaving them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There are times they do. I have a friend who left her hubby and took a risk on a new guy.
The new guy was the love of her life. Hands down the guy who got her the most
I'm not sure if she feels like she made the right decision however |
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"OP tell him your going to his home to meet his wife to get things out in the open ..........see what he say? he may even run away OR he may say ok lets go sort this .. You would know where you stand and not be just the bit on the side."
Woah, really? Please don't do this! If he wants to be with you he will be, people can't help who they fall for but don't force his hand in this way!!
The wife hasn't done anything,she doesn't deserve to find out by someone turning up at her home!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP tell him your going to his home to meet his wife to get things out in the open ..........see what he say? he may even run away OR he may say ok lets go sort this .. You would know where you stand and not be just the bit on the side.
Woah, really? Please don't do this! If he wants to be with you he will be, people can't help who they fall for but don't force his hand in this way!!
The wife hasn't done anything,she doesn't deserve to find out by someone turning up at her home!
" so she deserve to be treated like this the wife.? It would take a lot of guts to lay there cards on the table and to say the truth someone will get hurt yes . |
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"Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive hypocrite and it's seriously going against all my morals.......
I have always been someone who would never be 'with' a married man but we are just SO great together!
So damn confused - i don't know what the hell to do. "
You do know what to do if what you're doing now is against all your morals. The question is will you? Not a negative judgement from me just an observation.
Also if you lay your cards on the table and tell him that you can no longer be with him if he remains with his wife he will need to make a decision too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only know one couple that this worked out for, they've now been married 40 years. I think the times they choose to stay with their wives far outweigh the times it works out well for the other woman.
I don't envy your position at all, but you find happiness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And op sorry to say this. But its a swingers site and you could be just one of a number ... I have been here years seen a lot of stuff and seen some who think they are the only other to find out one of a number too. |
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"OP tell him your going to his home to meet his wife to get things out in the open ..........see what he say? he may even run away OR he may say ok lets go sort this .. You would know where you stand and not be just the bit on the side.
Woah, really? Please don't do this! If he wants to be with you he will be, people can't help who they fall for but don't force his hand in this way!!
The wife hasn't done anything,she doesn't deserve to find out by someone turning up at her home!
so she deserve to be treated like this the wife.? It would take a lot of guts to lay there cards on the table and to say the truth someone will get hurt yes ."
Someone always gets hurt.(been there) I agree, go to his house and get it out in the open and see how committed he really is! You might not like what you hear/see but you'll know the truth.
AJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very rarely.
And if they do will they ever be faithful?
This. "
This definitely. Men rarely leave their wifes when there are women giving out free sex. Easier to empty their balls and be home to wifey for teatime.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
His wife apparently knows what goes-on, he does it with her 'permission'. She doesn't want to know who or where though apparently. The guy has had some meets over a period of approx 3 years but not that many and most with the same person (she has now moved-on) He also works abroad so he is not home for a lot of the time. His shift patterns mean that he is mostly one month away and a month back in the UK. Even with his absence, his wife apparently does not want sex when he returns? Obviously I've only got his word for that! I also know that he doesn't see anyone else...the wife and I are the only ladies in his life. I believe that he is genuine. We've got an amazing spark and chemistry that could blow up the hugest of buildings! It's fantastic how connected we are....I'm starting to develop feelings for him, but I don't know how he feels about me?! |
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"His wife apparently knows what goes-on, he does it with her 'permission'. She doesn't want to know who or where though apparently. The guy has had some meets over a period of approx 3 years but not that many and most with the same person (she has now moved-on) He also works abroad so he is not home for a lot of the time. His shift patterns mean that he is mostly one month away and a month back in the UK. Even with his absence, his wife apparently does not want sex when he returns? Obviously I've only got his word for that! I also know that he doesn't see anyone else...the wife and I are the only ladies in his life. I believe that he is genuine. We've got an amazing spark and chemistry that could blow up the hugest of buildings! It's fantastic how connected we are....I'm starting to develop feelings for him, but I don't know how he feels about me?! "
What would you say to a good friend who wrote what you have here?
You are in danger of being hurt and there is a strong possibility that he's lying to you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I would probably say to be careful and that he is likely to be using her and that you have been hurt enough, don't want to see you get hurt again.... exactly the advice that my Best friend has given me!! |
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"I would probably say to be careful and that he is likely to be using her and that you have been hurt enough, don't want to see you get hurt again.... exactly the advice that my Best friend has given me!! "
Then if you carry on you know what's in store. Walk away and save your energies for someone who can reciprocate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive hypocrite and it's seriously going against all my morals.......
I have always been someone who would never be 'with' a married man but we are just SO great together!
So damn confused - i don't know what the hell to do. "
It's only going great because he gets everything positive with you. Everything his wife doesn't do, he gets from you. So obviously it's going great....for now. Like what practically everyone has said...it doesn't last. Be careful hunny! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would probably say to be careful and that he is likely to be using her and that you have been hurt enough, don't want to see you get hurt again.... exactly the advice that my Best friend has given me!! "
I think it depends what you actually do together. Anybody can have amazing chemistry in bed, it's whether that translates to normal boring everyday life.
Would he be a comfort to you if you had shit going on in your life? Is be happy to just see you and chat or is it knickers off and to bed?
Affairs are usually for an illicit thrill. Once that thrill goes and you start moaning at him because he leaves the loo seat up, or you actually say no to sex cos you're tired, then it may be a different story.
Just be open minded. There are plenty of great men out there who are single (not that i can find any!) but you won't find them whilst you have him as your sole focus. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I would also like to add that in fairness he has been honest through every step. When we initially started chatting, he told me of his status, we continued flirting a little and the chat developed. I was wrong to let it develop into anything further, please don't judgw. I initially thought that it would be a one-off or a bit of harmless flirting. However it pretty quickly became so much more and I think that we both feel incredibly 'connected'. Whilst he is away, we spend hours and hours chatting on social media about everything and anything! I am a little scared to continue though because I don't want to be the 'other' woman and I don't want to get hurt. |
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"I would also like to add that in fairness he has been honest through every step. When we initially started chatting, he told me of his status, we continued flirting a little and the chat developed. I was wrong to let it develop into anything further, please don't judgw. I initially thought that it would be a one-off or a bit of harmless flirting. However it pretty quickly became so much more and I think that we both feel incredibly 'connected'. Whilst he is away, we spend hours and hours chatting on social media about everything and anything! I am a little scared to continue though because I don't want to be the 'other' woman and I don't want to get hurt."
He's away from home for long periods of time, his wife's heard all his small talk about everything and anything and eventually you will have too.
I think you're trying to convince yourself that it's ok to continue and hoping for positive back up from the forum. This is your decision alone and I think you've already made it.
Take care that you and other people don't get badly hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Would he be a comfort to you if you had shit going on in your life?
Yes, he is so sincere and sweet, if I'm feeling crap, he does his best to cheer me up, he makes me laugh, he asks me what is bothering me etc.
He is an amazing boost to my confidence. He messages me several times per day (whether home or not) telling me that he is thinking about me and that I am gorgeous.
We chat about loads of things all the time, everything and anything....In fact, very often it's me that wants sex more than he does!! When he is away, I'm the one sending him explicit messages and flirting, he is just loving and romantic! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you may waste valuable years of your life waiting on a man who may (or may not) promise you he'll leave his wife. He might. He might not. But if you're prepared to wait then that is up to you.
I had a friend in work who spent five years seeing a married man. It turned her from a confident, outgoing gal into a shadow of her former self. She became miserable, paranoid "what's wrong with me? Why won't he leave his wife for me" etc and he kept saying he'd leave when his kids were older.
He didn't.
She eventually saw them out as a family and saw how happy they were and knew that it was never going to happen. Meanwhile she has turned down dates etc and nights out with us girls to snatch time with him....and for what? Essentially a knee trembler.
It's your life and we can't say what is wrong. But know that he may just back off and distance himself from you if you are on different pages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm single and I've met married.
But the second things get fucked up and feelings get involved I'd knock it cold dead.
So far it's never happened and I know if it ever did (where I knew it was going that way) I'd cut it off.
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"I think you may waste valuable years of your life waiting on a man who may (or may not) promise you he'll leave his wife. He might. He might not. But if you're prepared to wait then that is up to you.
I had a friend in work who spent five years seeing a married man. It turned her from a confident, outgoing gal into a shadow of her former self. She became miserable, paranoid "what's wrong with me? Why won't he leave his wife for me" etc and he kept saying he'd leave when his kids were older.
He didn't.
She eventually saw them out as a family and saw how happy they were and knew that it was never going to happen. Meanwhile she has turned down dates etc and nights out with us girls to snatch time with him....and for what? Essentially a knee trembler.
It's your life and we can't say what is wrong. But know that he may just back off and distance himself from you if you are on different pages."
This.. ten years on and I am that shaddow. He even manages to make me feel guilty on the rare occasions I do go out. We talk constantly, I don't know how she can't notice. Fact is she probably chooses not to and she no doubt sees me as the pathetic woman I am when it comes to him. I wouldn't wish the way I feel on anyone. And the best advice I can give is to jump ship. If its meant to be it will be. Love never needs to be forced. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I also forgot to add that he has now removed his profile from here.
When I asked him why, he said "because I've got you"
Recently I had a wobble and told him that I did not want to continue with it and he was devastated.... he said that he felt "lost/empty"!
On his profile, he had several facial photos that were not hidden when his profile was active. |
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"I also forgot to add that he has now removed his profile from here.
When I asked him why, he said "because I've got you"
Recently I had a wobble and told him that I did not want to continue with it and he was devastated.... he said that he felt "lost/empty"!
On his profile, he had several facial photos that were not hidden when his profile was active. "
Who are you trying to convince? Yourself or us? |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"I also forgot to add that he has now removed his profile from here.
When I asked him why, he said "because I've got you"
Recently I had a wobble and told him that I did not want to continue with it and he was devastated.... he said that he felt "lost/empty"!
On his profile, he had several facial photos that were not hidden when his profile was active. "
They are good at the devastation card. |
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So his wife knows. She doesnt want sex.
Your there to fill the gap.
I think hes got the best of both worlds to be honest.
It also sounds as though your trying to convince yourself.
Why would he rock the boat with you. Hes got his cake and eating it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy......"
maybe a cliche,but very often true...one of my friends gave 8 years of her life for a half life with a man who's wife never had sex with him..until a family friend outed the affair and it transpired that during those 8 years he'd fathered 2 more children with his wife...she stupidly let him move in when his wife ejected him and within 4 months he got caught with a woman from work...i know sometimes it works out, but in my opinion, people who cheat, cheat. good luck, i hope you do whats best for you,not him..not always the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My ex fiance left me for another bloke she was cheating on me with. Less than a year ago and now and they're still together and engaged too. It's not good being the 3rd person who gets left with the shit end of the triangle. It's hard to believe that one or two people would knowingly? put someone through what I went through. Fortunately for me it showed that I was better off without her and I'm doing pretty good  |
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"His wife apparently knows what goes-on, he does it with her 'permission'. She doesn't want to know who or where though apparently. The guy has had some meets over a period of approx 3 years but not that many and most with the same person (she has now moved-on) He also works abroad so he is not home for a lot of the time. His shift patterns mean that he is mostly one month away and a month back in the UK. Even with his absence, his wife apparently does not want sex when he returns? Obviously I've only got his word for that! I also know that he doesn't see anyone else...the wife and I are the only ladies in his life. I believe that he is genuine. We've got an amazing spark and chemistry that could blow up the hugest of buildings! It's fantastic how connected we are....I'm starting to develop feelings for him, but I don't know how he feels about me?! " OP hopefully you are right and the chemistry is worth it all .We met " swinging " and despite aiming for nsa we fell for each other and now are married to each other. Whilst we are very happy, it involved LOT'S of heartache, tears and we hurt other people to be together. Do I regret it? No not in a million years but we have always talked about feelings and emotions, it was hard to trust each other going forward .We stayed away from swinging for a few years and just now dipping toes into the water. Ask him , talk and good luck xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I also forgot to add that he has now removed his profile from here.
When I asked him why, he said "because I've got you"
Recently I had a wobble and told him that I did not want to continue with it and he was devastated.... he said that he felt "lost/empty"!
On his profile, he had several facial photos that were not hidden when his profile was active. " lol Same old story I found the love of my life . lolol yer he had 4 others too ... It just rings bells what others have said. I trust no one on here sorry. Its a candy shop lots on offer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would he be a comfort to you if you had shit going on in your life?
Yes, he is so sincere and sweet, if I'm feeling crap, he does his best to cheer me up, he makes me laugh, he asks me what is bothering me etc.
He is an amazing boost to my confidence. He messages me several times per day (whether home or not) telling me that he is thinking about me and that I am gorgeous.
We chat about loads of things all the time, everything and anything....In fact, very often it's me that wants sex more than he does!! When he is away, I'm the one sending him explicit messages and flirting, he is just loving and romantic! "
Sorry, but as someone who's been in your position, he's playing you like a violin and telling you everything you want to hear. Also, it sounds like you might have low self esteem and he knows that. |
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Some maybe,but think most will like the best of both worlds .
If its causing you more heartache than joy ,is it worth it and if he leaves his wife could you trust him?
Hope you get it all sorted.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I also forgot to add that he has now removed his profile from here.
When I asked him why, he said "because I've got you"
Recently I had a wobble and told him that I did not want to continue with it and he was devastated.... he said that he felt "lost/empty"!
On his profile, he had several facial photos that were not hidden when his profile was active. "
We don't know him like you do. Some people are good at saying what they think you want to hear. The other question is do you want him really? Being the other woman is way different to being together all the time and seeing them warts and all. You probably get the best of him at the moment and he of you. The humdrum of everyday life isnt inside your little bubble when you're together. |
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"Very rarely.
And if they do will they ever be faithful?
This.
This definitely. Men rarely leave their wifes when there are women giving out free sex. Easier to empty their balls and be home to wifey for teatime. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If someone is married but cheats on their partner with you - it means that you aren't as important as their wife / husband.
Fact.
No matter what " circumstances " they might be in.
It's a fools game.
Unless theyre a great fuck and you have no emotional attachments then get away!
Whats the point!
Even if they left their wife / husband then how could you trust them?
Cheaters thrive on secret affairs and the forbidden.
If you want a relationship then find one with someone whos single.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
18 years ago I had an affair with a married man for four years. I woke one day and decided I'd had enough of being alone every night, so I ended it. Three weeks later he turned up at my door, had left his wife and family. (I never asked him to). Would he have left them if I was happy to go along with his double life? One word NO! |
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By *hirazxWoman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
I think if you become the wife you are leaving your place as the girlfriend open for someone else to take. That will always be in the back of your mind. Keep it the way it is now while it is still fun. What will be will be! |
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Op you need take ask yourself if your worth just scraps of time thrown your way if and when it suits him ..or do you actually deserve someone whos focus is you.
Also you know fully what you're getting in to but are you prepared for the fall out if his wife decides she's not happy with situation. You only has his word she is ok him playing away and could well be lying just to get a leg over . Also even if she was OK with him having sex elsewhere that's completely different to getting emotionally evolved with the woman . You happy then to be at ground zero when the shit hits the fan?
Know your worth op and walk away.It may hurt now but nothing to the hurt being caught in their domestics or months or years down the line when he's still having his cake and eating it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op you need take ask yourself if your worth just scraps of time thrown your way if and when it suits him ..or do you actually deserve someone whos focus is you.
Also you know fully what you're getting in to but are you prepared for the fall out if his wife decides she's not happy with situation. You only has his word she is ok him playing away and could well be lying just to get a leg over . Also even if she was OK with him having sex elsewhere that's completely different to getting emotionally evolved with the woman . You happy then to be at ground zero when the shit hits the fan?
Know your worth op and walk away.It may hurt now but nothing to the hurt being caught in their domestics or months or years down the line when he's still having his cake and eating it.
" he could be telling her what she wish to here and not the truth .. people get so hurt from all this. |
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