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Stigma around Money

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

How many of us struggle at some point financially?

Have you ever done something drastic to avoid certain situations regarding money?

Is it better to be honest and open with money struggles or do you get consumed in guilt?

From personal experiences i would make every excuse in the book to avoid events as i simply could not afford to enjoy little extravagances... as i've got older i have just learnt to be honest, stop the bullshit to people and say 'i cant due to being skint at the moment'

Seeing a soap character end a relationship i feel is very sad due to her financial situation. If people were more open i think the ex partner would have actually understand and perhaps help.

Suppose its a personal choice

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

possibly lack of replies shows its not something we are comfortable talking about

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

People dont need to know about my finances

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By *orum TrollWoman  over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i didn't notice it until you bumped it.

i do extreme measures to make sure i'm not poor, i really don't care any more coz poverty holds people back and i've been there and will never go back there if i have to.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh was this the emmerdale story?

Tbh people reading my profile and friend in rl know my situation and that im not working right now so money is non existent for me, even when i did have a lot of spare cash i would be careful with it just incase of emergencies... or i found something pretty at cheshire oaks and had to buy it there and then

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford.

Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans.

For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

We've experienced some very tough times financially especially when our children were small. I used to avoid social events where things were being sold and if friends were going shopping and for lunch I'd be "busy". Daft really but I felt that if I said I couldn't afford it they would pity me and I didn't want that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford.

Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans.

For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose."

Le sèsh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Building a new life and meeting new friends, it's been hard to say, I've got no money so I've tended to think up excuses. Now I know them better, I just tell them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Oh was this the emmerdale story?

Tbh people reading my profile and friend in rl know my situation and that im not working right now so money is non existent for me, even when i did have a lot of spare cash i would be careful with it just incase of emergencies... or i found something pretty at cheshire oaks and had to buy it there and then "

no it was Denise Fox in Eastenders.. she ended a relationship because he asked what she was hiding ad she bottled up then just ended it with him, she is also avoiding family holidays saying 'she cant be around her sister for a whole week'.. its actually all just lack of money.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've been both ends of the scale, extremely well off and then lost everything... Now I'm relatively comfortable, spend within my means and if I don't need it then I don't buy it

True friends have been with me right through and you do find out a lot about people when you are at the bottom

My advise, if you're struggling talk to someone, it makes the world of difference

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford.

Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans.

For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose.

Le sèsh "

I love lé sesh but when you see someone borrowing for wonga to pay another loan shark

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By *ty31Man  over a year ago

NW London

I think maybe the stigma and irritation of being broke did encourage me to be pretty careful with my cash when I was younger. I didn't like to ever admit "I can't afford it" or "I'm skint" also I just never saw the attraction in working hard all week for a paycheck only to blow it on pointless stuff.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

If I want something, and it's within my means, I get it. I only have to consider myself. If I want to treat people I will, but I am also aware that can make some feel uncomfortable if they can't reciprocate (even though I don't want or expect that of them). If I can't afford to do something then I will say so and wish those doing whatever it is well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford.

Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans.

For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose."

from personal experience i used to say 'im not feeling it' or 'im tired' etc.. but then i had a friend that took it all rather personal and asked me outright if it was her that i was avoiding.. felt awful that she was feeling that. I had a little cry and just said 'it was lack of funds'..

she called me a twat, gave me a hug and we just been honest ever since

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nah. ..I've always said that I don't have the money for stuff. I don't see the point in making excuses and things harder for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It is still such a taboo isn't it? And so emotive, people often base their self worth on their salary or fear that others will determine their worth by it.

It's stupid. But I understand it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh was this the emmerdale story?

Tbh people reading my profile and friend in rl know my situation and that im not working right now so money is non existent for me, even when i did have a lot of spare cash i would be careful with it just incase of emergencies... or i found something pretty at cheshire oaks and had to buy it there and then

no it was Denise Fox in Eastenders.. she ended a relationship because he asked what she was hiding ad she bottled up then just ended it with him, she is also avoiding family holidays saying 'she cant be around her sister for a whole week'.. its actually all just lack of money.

"

Ah ok.. i caught a bit of emmerdale tonight and sam saying he couldnt take someone on a second date because he bought his son trainers instead and lost out on the relationship with her, common theme it seems at the moment

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

"

Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits'

I was on maternity leave at that point i think

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford.

Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans.

For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose.

Le sèsh

I love lé sesh but when you see someone borrowing for wonga to pay another loan shark "

Agreed.

Also what the hell are my diacritics up to this eve?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Nah. ..I've always said that I don't have the money for stuff. I don't see the point in making excuses and things harder for yourself. "

I like to think im like that now.. i used to be riddled with worry, guilt, anxiety. Now i just dont have the energy to hide behind a front.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

Ah ok.. i caught a bit of emmerdale tonight and sam saying he couldnt take someone on a second date because he bought his son trainers instead and lost out on the relationship with her, common theme it seems at the moment "

Ah yeah i saw that too! Probably the combination of both story lines made me think more about money in general.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yeah..

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By *igeiaWoman  over a year ago

Bristol

Along with a lot of people these days, especially those in professions under risk of yet more funding cuts and redundancies, I am just about managing. That means I have my fun and spend responsibly when I can and say no the rest of the time. I have no problem saying it's because I can't afford it. People who know me and what I do for a living tend to understand and then admit to being a little surprised and a little angry on my behalf since they always assume I would be earning a fuck load more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It is still such a taboo isn't it? And so emotive, people often base their self worth on their salary or fear that others will determine their worth by it.

It's stupid. But I understand it. "

Its crazy but i agree.. i feel if i get paid more for a job i am worth more as a person.

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By *r_BBW_LoverMan  over a year ago

Swindon


"We've experienced some very tough times financially especially when our children were small. I used to avoid social events where things were being sold and if friends were going shopping and for lunch I'd be "busy". Daft really but I felt that if I said I couldn't afford it they would pity me and I didn't want that."

My son was born when both his mother and I were very young and didn't have any money at all. It was tough not being able to buy him nice things and having to make do with a second hand pushchair, hand-me-down clothes, etc...

We obviously couldn't afford to buy him lots of toys either, although it did mean we spent more time playing with him (which seems to have paid off in the long term as we both have an incredibly close relationship with him now).

However, although at the time it was incredibly difficult to cope with having no money, looking back I do think it was character building.

I'm a much more sensible person when it comes to money than most of my friends who didn't go through bringing up a child when they were young and penniless. They're learning the hard way how expensive having kids is... and it seems harder for them to handle than it did for me.

Perhaps because we never had money to start with, whereas my friends had grown accustomed to having cash in their pockets and now find they no longer do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Nah. ..I've always said that I don't have the money for stuff. I don't see the point in making excuses and things harder for yourself.

I like to think im like that now.. i used to be riddled with worry, guilt, anxiety. Now i just dont have the energy to hide behind a front. "

it's the easiest option. We live in a well to do area and the other patents at school are all well off . Theimpression I get is that the other other mums don't have to work they do it for fun. ..I constantly feel we are the poor relatives but really can't be arsed hiding it. They don't invite me to spa weekends anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Money makes the world go round so the more you earn the more you feel a part of it, this doesn't bother me because I'm from a different planet.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits'

I was on maternity leave at that point i think "

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits'

I was on maternity leave at that point i think

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

"

I'm disappointed with waitrose. I can no longer get a free coffee without buying something and I have to go back to the entrance to get it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"We live in a well to do area and the other patents at school are all well off . Theimpression I get is that the other other mums don't have to work they do it for fun. ..I constantly feel we are the poor relatives but really can't be arsed hiding it. They don't invite me to spa weekends anymore. "

This was my biggest gripe after i gave birth to my daughter.. all my friends would just presume id be busy and not be able to make a night out..

it may have been the case but sometimes its just nice to be given the invite then the chance to say no..

felt like a plonker kinda inviting myself along..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits'

I was on maternity leave at that point i think

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

"

A lot of the time my parents shop at waitrose and when i have my own place again i probably will aswell mainly due to the diverse range of fruit & veg & fish they do, ive also found their own brand stuff is great quality and not that expensive

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Years ago when my kids where little I struggled I had two jobs just to make end meet

I got a promotion a few years later and the extra money made a huge difference

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits'

I was on maternity leave at that point i think

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

I'm disappointed with waitrose. I can no longer get a free coffee without buying something and I have to go back to the entrance to get it! "

I did think of you when they sent that message. As you know, I think they should stop having the coffee machine at the entrance.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits'

I was on maternity leave at that point i think

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

I'm disappointed with waitrose. I can no longer get a free coffee without buying something and I have to go back to the entrance to get it! "

You can get it in the cafe if getting something which we always tend to do anyway when visiting it, there isnt a minimum spend though even a packet of chewing gum gets it

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

"

like it was said above its about living within your budget.

i try to do this as best i can, im only just returning back into work so the rainy day fund is non existant at the moment.

my £700 shock MOT the other month was soul destroying to me and my daughter. Though it was a great lesson to her just how important money is.

when she was 5 its 'go to the bank and get more'.. 'pay for it on your card'..

she isnt involved with my household finances, but understands aged 7 things are not always easy,, and sometimes we have to cut back on non essential items

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've been so skint I've gobe hungry. I've been so skint I've walked miles to save a bus fare. And I once was hours away tom being homeless. It's not a fun way to live that's fir dress. I've sold valued possessions to survive but nothing worse than that.

Thankfully these days I've got a secure and regular income as it's really not a fun way to exist. I can't remember whether I made excuses or was honest but it was certainly isolating

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I've been so skint I've gobe hungry. I've been so skint I've walked miles to save a bus fare. And I once was hours away tom being homeless. It's not a fun way to live that's fir dress. I've sold valued possessions to survive but nothing worse than that.

Thankfully these days I've got a secure and regular income as it's really not a fun way to exist. I can't remember whether I made excuses or was honest but it was certainly isolating "

the word 'isolating' really stood out to me in that post.. so true!

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits'

I was on maternity leave at that point i think

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

A lot of the time my parents shop at waitrose and when i have my own place again i probably will aswell mainly due to the diverse range of fruit & veg & fish they do, ive also found their own brand stuff is great quality and not that expensive "

Although the M&S fridge pack mango is cheaper than either Waitrose or Sainsbury's.

Sorry, OP, I'll stop hijacking on Waitrose now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been so skint I've gobe hungry. I've been so skint I've walked miles to save a bus fare. And I once was hours away tom being homeless. It's not a fun way to live that's fir dress. I've sold valued possessions to survive but nothing worse than that.

Thankfully these days I've got a secure and regular income as it's really not a fun way to exist. I can't remember whether I made excuses or was honest but it was certainly isolating "

That's like me last year I had to have the swimming pool at 10°c instead of 16, but this last year with my money growing tree blooming this year's coming up rosy!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Being self employed in the building trade. The recession hit me. Not to bad. But I chose not to go out on nights out. As I would rather spend them with y family. Plus being skint mad me grumpy and no one asked me hehe. Pm's welcome!

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By *irceWoman  over a year ago

Gloucester

Poor....here but rich with luv...

Have a roof over my head and food atm sooo tis good

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about.

People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get.

Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits'

I was on maternity leave at that point i think

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

A lot of the time my parents shop at waitrose and when i have my own place again i probably will aswell mainly due to the diverse range of fruit & veg & fish they do, ive also found their own brand stuff is great quality and not that expensive

Although the M&S fridge pack mango is cheaper than either Waitrose or Sainsbury's.

Sorry, OP, I'll stop hijacking on Waitrose now.

"

Hey I like m&s too mango you say tbf when i lived in chester it was easier to do my shopping at m&s mainly because whenever i was on my crutches they would actually go round with me and do my shopping with me which was awesome!

Had reverse snobbery then from friends 'oh i wish i could shop in m&s' erm well stop spending hundreds on getting d*unk and you can!

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

like it was said above its about living within your budget.

i try to do this as best i can, im only just returning back into work so the rainy day fund is non existant at the moment.

my £700 shock MOT the other month was soul destroying to me and my daughter. Though it was a great lesson to her just how important money is.

when she was 5 its 'go to the bank and get more'.. 'pay for it on your card'..

she isnt involved with my household finances, but understands aged 7 things are not always easy,, and sometimes we have to cut back on non essential items"

I grew up very poor and, as an adult, admired how my mother managed to keep us fed and clothed. The six months we were homeless, and living in hostel accommodation, must have been hell for my parents.

Have you looked at getting a Credit Union account? That might help with those ad hoc shock bills.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We're sensible with our money, after learning some harsh lessons when younger.

Swinging does make us feel financially insecure at time. Everybody else seems to be constantly at club events and socials. We'd love to go but can't afford them. And we've often made other excuses to hide that.

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By *oxy_minxWoman  over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something.

The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've always been honest if I can't afford something.

I grew up below the poverty line and went to uni with no financial safety net from my parents, and when I got married my husband and I were both on minimum wage. He was brought up in a household in which success equated to a high salary, and his mum was very anxious that he earned more and more. Eventually his salary was over 4 times more than mine.

Now we're not together I'm back below the poverty line again. I'm good with money and live very comfortably within my means. I'm happy with second-hand clothes and furniture, I love my job, I'm content for meals out and big days out with the kids to be an occasional treat. Until the last couple of weeks I didn't feel 'poor'. The switch from tax credits to universal credit has made things very difficult now.

My ex wouldn't have been able to cope, practically or emotionally, if our roles were reversed, because it would have been a source of great shame for him. I see no shame in being poor as I don't equate money with success, and if I can't afford something I'm honest about it. Making up stories wouldn't occur to me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like.

like it was said above its about living within your budget.

i try to do this as best i can, im only just returning back into work so the rainy day fund is non existant at the moment.

my £700 shock MOT the other month was soul destroying to me and my daughter. Though it was a great lesson to her just how important money is.

when she was 5 its 'go to the bank and get more'.. 'pay for it on your card'..

she isnt involved with my household finances, but understands aged 7 things are not always easy,, and sometimes we have to cut back on non essential items"

My boys, also 7 have also said stuff like that. I recently started a new full time job, which has been tough on our time together as it's long days and one of my boys had a bit of a moment and decided that he didn't want me to work anymore. I had to point out that I either went back to working part time and not being able to have the option to do nice things or I worked full time and actually we could do stuff. It's a hard conversation to have with them and I think they have got used to me saying, nope, can't afford it, so he decided that actually treats were a good thing.

Not even my family, who I'm close to, know how hard it's been the past few months, I've gone without meals, there have been no luxuries and things like that.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something.

The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about. "

There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Isn't it odd that when you're young and you don't have something you crave it more and promise yourself you'll use it but when you get it as you are older you won't let it go or use it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something.

The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about.

There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful.

"

Indeed. Prepayment gas and electric meters are an example of this. It's more expensive to be on them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something.

The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about. "

It's the same with utility bills. Those that get into debt have to pay more by prepayment. It's wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Isn't it odd that when you're young and you don't have something you crave it more and promise yourself you'll use it but when you get it as you are older you won't let it go or use it!"

and likewise when i started to give my child her own money how much stuff she would put back on the shelf when she knew she had to buy it herself

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something.

The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about.

There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful.

Indeed. Prepayment gas and electric meters are an example of this. It's more expensive to be on them. "

They are horrible those prepayment things.. Im hoping the bungalow i get has solar panels on like most round here do now just to help some money on elec bills

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By *oxy_minxWoman  over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something.

The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about.

There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful.

"

It is and I don't get it! I would have died and gone to heaven when I was younger and couldn't afford things if I could have bought the offers I now have the luxury of today.

And as others have said, Pre-payment metres are an example that goes beyond my understanding, why are they more expensive if you are paying for there use before you have used them? It's not like your a threat because you have paid for the use in advance, some things are just so screwed up in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've lived in absolute poverty. No electricity or food, letalone avoiding events due to money.

And if I can't afford to go out or something (I don't go to social events or out with friends really anyway!) Then I'd be honest. That there are other things that need to be paid for first unfortunately. Food and bills and such.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful.

It is and I don't get it! I would have died and gone to heaven when I was younger and couldn't afford things if I could have bought the offers I now have the luxury of today.

And as others have said, Pre-payment metres are an example that goes beyond my understanding, why are they more expensive if you are paying for there use before you have used them? It's not like your a threat because you have paid for the use in advance, some things are just so screwed up in my opinion "

Every single rich person I know tells me about the freebies they get. Some get a little miffed if they aren't offered freebies or upgrades.

It's like the Gregory Peck film, The Million Pound Note. Bonkers!

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham


"Every single rich person I know tells me about the freebies they get. Some get a little miffed if they aren't offered freebies or upgrades.

It's like the Gregory Peck film, The Million Pound Note. Bonkers!"

It works though

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By *oxy_minxWoman  over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something.

The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about.

There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful.

It is and I don't get it! I would have died and gone to heaven when I was younger and couldn't afford things if I could have bought the offers I now have the luxury of today.

And as others have said, Pre-payment metres are an example that goes beyond my understanding, why are they more expensive if you are paying for there use before you have used them? It's not like your a threat because you have paid for the use in advance, some things are just so screwed up in my opinion "

Oh and when I mean luxuries, when I was 17/18 etc going into boots and buying tampons, when they were on buy one pack get one half price and I couldn't afford it and the shop assistant would point out a deal I could have had, that was the type of luxury I would have loved to afford, but alas I couldn't so yes these type of deals are the one's I am speaking about and are unfair

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By *ENGUYMan  over a year ago

Hull


"I've been so skint I've gobe hungry. I've been so skint I've walked miles to save a bus fare. And I once was hours away tom being homeless. It's not a fun way to live that's fir dress. I've sold valued possessions to survive but nothing worse than that.

Thankfully these days I've got a secure and regular income as it's really not a fun way to exist. I can't remember whether I made excuses or was honest but it was certainly isolating "

Oh, how I can relate to this particular post.

I was "stupid" with credit when younger. I also refinanced my life years ago to help my father through his expected twelve months terminal cancer. Then, one job crisis after the other piled up.

Like Depression, financial difficulties are seldom talked about. But I summoned up the courage and spoke to Pay Plan. They weren't judgemental, just offered plain commonsense and help beyond my expectations.

They've kept me sane; I wept with relief after my first call with them.

In recent months, I have survived thru illness and being on benefits. I'd a superb appointment with a Financial advisor at my local C.A.B. and his reaction was simple, "you talked to someone, you realised it was getting too much. Too many people just think it will get better if they ignore it, but they find to their cost, it doesn't work that way. They stick their heads in the sand almost".

Be honest with others, but be honest with yourself too. Cut back where you can. I don't have a TV, Car, expensive goods and so on. I can't afford nights out, so I do not go out. It does get me down at times, but I still have my house, and will be Mortgage free by 65.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The hardest thing is to ask for help x

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By *egasus NobMan  over a year ago

Merton

I'm in the same situation starting a business on a shoestring budget and being skint can make anybody go insane.

lesson to learn budget budget budget even or especially on a low income.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The thing with money is once you have it you don't need to spend it folk give you shit for free it's when you don't have it that's when folk want you to part with it.

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By *egasus NobMan  over a year ago

Merton


"The hardest thing is to ask for help x"

very hard to but sometimes people are willing to help so don't be afraid to within limit.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

I'm reasonably open but prefer to give answers to offers without disclosure of full details unless wanting help in some way, which would not be my normal approach - but I'd not hide if I was struggling.

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By *ENGUYMan  over a year ago

Hull


"The hardest thing is to ask for help x"

That is do true.

Ironically, the companies like Pay Plan and Step Change were once charities with limited budgets, but with Pay Plan for instance, they are now funded by Financial Sector including banks, credit card and loan companies. That way, they've been able to employ dozens more staff to cope with the increased demand in their services. People are beginning to talk!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Isn't it odd that when you're young and you don't have something you crave it more and promise yourself you'll use it but when you get it as you are older you won't let it go or use it!

and likewise when i started to give my child her own money how much stuff she would put back on the shelf when she knew she had to buy it herself "

Took the boy once to buy three of those sticker books with his birthday money but he'd forgotten to take his money so I paid. When we got home he disappeared into his room, I called him down reminding him he needed to pay for his books. He slowly came down, held out his hand and said he didn't have enough change, what's in the other hand I asked. £20 note he said but didn't have anything less. That's okay I can change that was my response.

The look from him and the abuse from his mother was incredible!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I find it a lot easier to say that I can't afford it than make reference to being flush.

We are by no means well off but we are comfortable, though we do have to choose between working on the house and foreign holidays.

I think I have quite old fashioned views when it comes to money, I replace items when they are broken and irreparable, not when I just fancy a change but I hope this will help me to be mortgage free by the time I'm 50.

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've been with sugar daddies, never had lots of money spent or pure cash handed over but I wouldn't have anywhere near the amount of outfits/toys without them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's a really difficult subject to talk about, but as with most problems better shared than held in

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