FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Telling a partner about swinging???
Telling a partner about swinging???
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I've always liked the idea of swinging with a gf but when I have been in relationships I've never been able to tell them im into it for fear they will think im nuts lol
How have you guys found telling a partner you want to try swinging and has it gone good or bad? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Usually suggestive talking while having sex, seeing you with any guy, that kind of thing, my mrs wasn't overly keen cause she was body conscious but soon realised she had nothing to worry about, been happily swinging together for over 15 years now  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Usually suggestive talking while having sex, seeing you with any guy, that kind of thing, my mrs wasn't overly keen cause she was body conscious but soon realised she had nothing to worry about, been happily swinging together for over 15 years now "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had a 'thing' with an ex lover last year. He was well aware of my being on fab - he even helped to take a few photos which used to be on my profile - but I wouldn't want to swing with him and he didn't ask. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Usually suggestive talking while having sex, seeing you with any guy, that kind of thing, my mrs wasn't overly keen cause she was body conscious but soon realised she had nothing to worry about, been happily swinging together for over 15 years now "
Yeah I think when I'm next in a relationship I'm going to be open about... maybe not first date open lol but I think i want my next gf to be open to it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Usually suggestive talking while having sex, seeing you with any guy, that kind of thing, my mrs wasn't overly keen cause she was body conscious but soon realised she had nothing to worry about, been happily swinging together for over 15 years now
Yeah I think when I'm next in a relationship I'm going to be open about... maybe not first date open lol but I think i want my next gf to be open to it "
Don't force the issue though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have told people pretty much straight off. I've been involved in this amd BDSM for approaching a decade and if it's an issue to a potential partner then it's only fair they find out early on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Start with a few drinks, then chat about fantasies, that will help you gauge wether she'd be interested...x"
Yeah I tried thag but I think I still expected a bad reaction so pussyfooted around it lol
Maybe next time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have told people pretty much straight off. I've been involved in this amd BDSM for approaching a decade and if it's an issue to a potential partner then it's only fair they find out early on. "
How mang times has this meant thag it was just dead in the water from day one? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had a 'thing' with an ex lover last year. He was well aware of my being on fab - he even helped to take a few photos which used to be on my profile - but I wouldn't want to swing with him and he didn't ask."
I tend to think guys are more openminded? Also i wouldnt mind a swinging partner but think it would be even better if it was with your actual partner |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have told people pretty much straight off. I've been involved in this amd BDSM for approaching a decade and if it's an issue to a potential partner then it's only fair they find out early on.
How mang times has this meant thag it was just dead in the water from day one?"
If it dies it dies. The alternative is to compromise one way or the other. It may be worth it for "the one" (but how do you know that at the start), on the whole I think it better to find that compatibility and common ground/understanding. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have told people pretty much straight off. I've been involved in this amd BDSM for approaching a decade and if it's an issue to a potential partner then it's only fair they find out early on.
How mang times has this meant thag it was just dead in the water from day one?"
Does that matter? Surely that's better than investing months of my life with someone I'm fundamentally incompatible with?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yeah... good point. Does everyone think swinging is a must with there partner or do some people think they would be cool to have a relationship without it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah... good point. Does everyone think swinging is a must with there partner or do some people think they would be cool to have a relationship without it?"
I'm sure there's millions of couples around the world that don't feel the need to join the swinging community. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah... good point. Does everyone think swinging is a must with there partner or do some people think they would be cool to have a relationship without it?"
Personally I doubt I'd swing in a relationship, and if I did it would be a long term relationship where we both completely trusted each other and where communication is paramount.
I'm only here until I find a relationship or decide to date. I don't have sexual meets with couples, but if I wanted group sex then I could arrange a group meet with a few sexy friends. (I have lots of sexy friends.) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah... good point. Does everyone think swinging is a must with there partner or do some people think they would be cool to have a relationship without it?
Personally I doubt I'd swing in a relationship, and if I did it would be a long term relationship where we both completely trusted each other and where communication is paramount.
I'm only here until I find a relationship or decide to date. I don't have sexual meets with couples, but if I wanted group sex then I could arrange a group meet with a few sexy friends. (I have lots of sexy friends.)"
I get where your coming from... I do want this kind of relationship at some point. But for now I think you have the right idea... just make sexy friends and enjoy ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah... good point. Does everyone think swinging is a must with there partner or do some people think they would be cool to have a relationship without it?"
From a personal perspective, it's as much about not wanting to be judged for how I've lived my life as wanting a partner to swing with me. Though admittedly that hasn't always been the case |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have told people pretty much straight off. I've been involved in this amd BDSM for approaching a decade and if it's an issue to a potential partner then it's only fair they find out early on.
How mang times has this meant thag it was just dead in the water from day one?"
In my experience 7/10 will be repulsed. 2/10 will try it but not like it. 1/10 will try it and like it.
If you are willing to have up to 7 glasses of wine thrown at you and 2 ultra awkward breakups then i'd still say it's a hell of a lot better than a non-monogamous person trying to be something they aren't |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you considered driving by a club and simply saying fancy a drink? You'll soon gauge their interest when you walk inside!!!!!!"
Yeah meeting someone at a swingers club coild be a way to go |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have told people pretty much straight off. I've been involved in this amd BDSM for approaching a decade and if it's an issue to a potential partner then it's only fair they find out early on.
How mang times has this meant thag it was just dead in the water from day one?
In my experience 7/10 will be repulsed. 2/10 will try it but not like it. 1/10 will try it and like it.
If you are willing to have up to 7 glasses of wine thrown at you and 2 ultra awkward breakups then i'd still say it's a hell of a lot better than a non-monogamous person trying to be something they aren't "
Lool those odds arent great. But like you said its probably worth it. Just got to not be pussy about I guess |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have told people pretty much straight off. I've been involved in this amd BDSM for approaching a decade and if it's an issue to a potential partner then it's only fair they find out early on.
How mang times has this meant thag it was just dead in the water from day one?
In my experience 7/10 will be repulsed. 2/10 will try it but not like it. 1/10 will try it and like it.
If you are willing to have up to 7 glasses of wine thrown at you and 2 ultra awkward breakups then i'd still say it's a hell of a lot better than a non-monogamous person trying to be something they aren't
Lool those odds arent great. But like you said its probably worth it. Just got to not be pussy about I guess"
Probably offend 60% of the site here but fab is full of sexually frustrated men who promised monogamy when they got married without really thinking it through, then had wives who weren't open to non-monogamy later.
I'd take the wine and the awkward breakups over their siutation any day. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I also tell people from the start, I would hate to start a "nilla" relationship with the thought of my past catching up on me, so I'm up front and forthright before things get too heavy. So in the past, when someone broached the question of getting together I'd tell them up front I am Bi and a swinger, and let them decide if they want to carry on, its a lot safer than them finding out later and feeling you lied/cheated on them, cos they will, even if you have stayed faithful up till then. But as I met my GF on here that problem didnt raise its head this time.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
