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Fab Holiday to Dubai
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Good morning fabbers, on behalf of FAF airlines I'd like to welcome you all aboard your flight to Dubai. Just a few formalities before the fun and frolics commence, we need crew members for each flight that will be departing from an airport near you. There will obviously be extensive perks for all crew and a strict dress code. All forumites welcome to apply. Those of you wishing to join us for the ride on an all expenses paid holiday at the Atlantis, hurry along and pack lightly. This is an all inclusive non judgmental trip and therefore the rule book has been torn up and all usual complaints don't apply. So once again welcome aboard and you are all automatically members of the FAF mile high club, so feel free to take advantage of your membership benefits  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I come?
Cumming is compulsory and I do believe you have a companion in the form of a unicorn, very rare "
 . I'll wait for her and then jump on. I hope she comes quick. |
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"Can I come?
Cumming is compulsory and I do believe you have a companion in the form of a unicorn, very rare
. I'll wait for her and then jump on. I hope she comes quick. "
She's very excited and will be cumming shortly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps....you may wanna rethink the destination, I can think of more sexually liberated countries than Dubai!  "
Ahem. There's a smack cart, Would the lady like me to get her something to wet her lips?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd love to be handed a boarding pass, happy to sit at the emergency exit..
And a crew member of your choice is complimentary "
Oh, I'd prefer the senior Stewardess to make sure I don't do anything wrong...cross check and cock to manual..I mean door...see how clumsy I am |
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"Ps....you may wanna rethink the destination, I can think of more sexually liberated countries than Dubai!
Ahem. There's a snack cart, Would the lady like me to get her something to wet her lips? "
FTFY |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd love to be handed a boarding pass, happy to sit at the emergency exit..
And a crew member of your choice is complimentary
Oh, I'd prefer the senior Stewardess to make sure I don't do anything wrong...cross check and cock to manual..I mean door...see how clumsy I am "
Is this the 'Captain' speaking? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd love to be handed a boarding pass, happy to sit at the emergency exit..
And a crew member of your choice is complimentary
Oh, I'd prefer the senior Stewardess to make sure I don't do anything wrong...cross check and cock to manual..I mean door...see how clumsy I am
Is this the 'Captain' speaking? "
Captain Cock Up at your service, expect a pleasant flight, with plenty of distractions. When you see the sign go off you will be able to remove all lose clothing and freely move around the cabin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps....you may wanna rethink the destination, I can think of more sexually liberated countries than Dubai!
Iran? Nice and warm this time of year "
I was thinking more along the lines of the Caribbean |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yayyyyyyyy I love Dubia and in particular the Atlantis, don't worry about their strict laws or lack of exciting nightlife I'll show you all Dubai uncovered fs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd love to be handed a boarding pass, happy to sit at the emergency exit..
And a crew member of your choice is complimentary
Oh, I'd prefer the senior Stewardess to make sure I don't do anything wrong...cross check and cock to manual..I mean door...see how clumsy I am "
Me thinks you're not a real Captain
Okay I need to be the CD on this flight!
*thats senior stewardess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yayyyyyyyy I love Dubia and in particular the Atlantis, don't worry about their strict laws or lack of exciting nightlife I'll show you all Dubai uncovered fs
You're in my suite fs "
Ooooooooofft the Honeymoon suite fs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps....you may wanna rethink the destination, I can think of more sexually liberated countries than Dubai!
Ahem. There's a snack cart, Would the lady like me to get her something to wet her lips?
FTFY "
Thank goodness someone did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd love to be handed a boarding pass, happy to sit at the emergency exit..
And a crew member of your choice is complimentary
Oh, I'd prefer the senior Stewardess to make sure I don't do anything wrong...cross check and cock to manual..I mean door...see how clumsy I am
Me thinks you're not a real Captain
Okay I need to be the CD on this flight!
*thats senior stewardess "
As long as you're suitably qualified, health ahnd safety is important as I'm sure you'll agree. We don't want Pink Panther airlines grounding by officaldom...other doms maybe but officialdoms |
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"Ps....you may wanna rethink the destination, I can think of more sexually liberated countries than Dubai!
Ahem. There's a snack cart, Would the lady like me to get her something to wet her lips?
FTFY
Thank goodness someone did. "
You're welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd love to be handed a boarding pass, happy to sit at the emergency exit..
And a crew member of your choice is complimentary
Oh, I'd prefer the senior Stewardess to make sure I don't do anything wrong...cross check and cock to manual..I mean door...see how clumsy I am
Me thinks you're not a real Captain
Okay I need to be the CD on this flight!
*thats senior stewardess
As long as you're suitably qualified, health ahnd safety is important as I'm sure you'll agree. We don't want Pink Panther airlines grounding by officaldom...other doms maybe but officialdoms "
I'm more than qualified... 
Now back to the important issues:-
"Chicken or beef"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id love to come. My pale Scottish skin isnt good in the sun though. Can someone please help me rub in the sun tan lotion?  "
I'm sure I could lend a hand for those hard to reach places |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll be security for the flight. I'll be frisking you all before boarding looking for any lethal weapons or suspicious looking objects. "
That's not a gun in my pocket... I'm just pleased to see you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id love to come. My pale Scottish skin isnt good in the sun though. Can someone please help me rub in the sun tan lotion?
Join me on the Norway flight and you will have my full attention "
Oh! Im tempted! I do go a bit lobster-esque in the sun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a serious note, does Dubai commit it's executions in public like Saudi Arabia? l know they have the death penalty but l think they rely on tourism more so are probably more diplomatic with it. |
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"On a serious note, does Dubai commit it's executions in public like Saudi Arabia? l know they have the death penalty but l think they rely on tourism more so are probably more diplomatic with it."
FAF airlines would like to wish you a warm welcome, there won't be anything of that nature read the small print, everything that was haram is now halal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a serious note, does Dubai commit it's executions in public like Saudi Arabia? l know they have the death penalty but l think they rely on tourism more so are probably more diplomatic with it.
FAF airlines would like to wish you a warm welcome, there won't be anything of that nature read the small print, everything that was haram is now halal "
l actually don't think l can go. l'm not kidding. l think Dubai is one the list of places where Israelis are banned. l claimed citizenship there  |
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"On a serious note, does Dubai commit it's executions in public like Saudi Arabia? l know they have the death penalty but l think they rely on tourism more so are probably more diplomatic with it.
FAF airlines would like to wish you a warm welcome, there won't be anything of that nature read the small print, everything that was haram is now halal
l actually don't think l can go. l'm not kidding. l think Dubai is one the list of places where Israelis are banned. l claimed citizenship there "
I know ppl you're coming |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a serious note, does Dubai commit it's executions in public like Saudi Arabia? l know they have the death penalty but l think they rely on tourism more so are probably more diplomatic with it.
FAF airlines would like to wish you a warm welcome, there won't be anything of that nature read the small print, everything that was haram is now halal
l actually don't think l can go. l'm not kidding. l think Dubai is one the list of places where Israelis are banned. l claimed citizenship there
I know ppl you're coming "
Lol. xx |
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"Id love to come. My pale Scottish skin isnt good in the sun though. Can someone please help me rub in the sun tan lotion?
Join me on the Norway flight and you will have my full attention
Oh! Im tempted! I do go a bit lobster-esque in the sun! "
My Celtic roots aren't best suited for harsh sunlight either, best we just bathe in the glow from the Northern Lights instead  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about the overhead compartment checker?
That way I can peek down the ladies tops
Maybe I could include inspector of undercarriages in your job description "
You are the best boss ever x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I do the safety demonstration? Always wanted to pull sharply downwards on the toggle and get my lips around the whistle "
My toggle and whistle at the ready for you x |
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"I booked my seat yesterday but if there's no room I don't mind sitting on the pilots lap?? I promise not to distract him too much "
I believe your reservation was confirmed and you aren't traveling alone I seem to recall |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dubai?!
I'll definitely get involved on the plane but I'll take one for the team and guard the doors to Atlantis. We may be a non-judgemental group but I don't think that's the vibe over there...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I do the safety demonstration? Always wanted to pull sharply downwards on the toggle and get my lips around the whistle "
Do you have any pictures to show me of the position I'd need to get into if we go down? |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Can I do the safety demonstration? Always wanted to pull sharply downwards on the toggle and get my lips around the whistle
Do you have any pictures to show me of the position I'd need to get into if we go down? "
Yes I have pictures, but you'd need to shout 'brace' as you went down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I do the safety demonstration? Always wanted to pull sharply downwards on the toggle and get my lips around the whistle
Do you have any pictures to show me of the position I'd need to get into if we go down?
Yes I have pictures, but you'd need to shout 'brace' as you went down"
Did I read it right? I put my head between your knees? |
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"Who's showing me to my seat?
Me
Thank you I tip well by the way
Payment in kind?
Of course...I'll give payment by any means possible....how do you think I got on the flight to begin with? "
Your boyish good looks and irresistible smile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps....you may wanna rethink the destination, I can think of more sexually liberated countries than Dubai! "
A very good point....prison beckons for sex with someone other than your marital partner in this country. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps....you may wanna rethink the destination, I can think of more sexually liberated countries than Dubai! A very good point....prison beckons for sex with someone other than your marital partner in this country. "
Yes unless you're a rich Arab because then they just fly in high class girls have thier fun and fly them back oh again.
All behind closed doors of corse |
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"Ps....you may wanna rethink the destination, I can think of more sexually liberated countries than Dubai! A very good point....prison beckons for sex with someone other than your marital partner in this country.
Yes unless you're a rich Arab because then they just fly in high class girls have thier fun and fly them back oh again.
All behind closed doors of corse "
I think we've covered this guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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May I offer to do the duty free trolley?? I have lots of delights that people on board may want to take advantage of!!!!!
Following that I will do the drinks trolley - crew members and passengers will need a drink!!! It's very dehydrating flying!!
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"Is it ok to be on the plane in a bikini? I hate packing so I just put it on. I brought a spare to change with "
Would you like me to rub your sub cream in...might as well get it all sorted now so you don't have to waste time when on the beach? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it ok to be on the plane in a bikini? I hate packing so I just put it on. I brought a spare to change with
Would you like me to rub your sub cream in...might as well get it all sorted now so you don't have to waste time when on the beach? "
Of course, i like to be prepared! |
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"Is it ok to be on the plane in a bikini? I hate packing so I just put it on. I brought a spare to change with
Would you like me to rub your sub cream in...might as well get it all sorted now so you don't have to waste time when on the beach?
Of course, i like to be prepared! "
I'll crack on with it, promise I won't draw penis on your back  |
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"I'm hijacking the plane... we're going to Norway..
That's the flight for the troublemakers
I'm helping the hijacker ... Norway baby here we come!!!
Nor fucking way have we been hijacked "
You're not on that flight don't worry that's the one full of troublemakers |
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"I'm hijacking the plane... we're going to Norway..
That's the flight for the troublemakers
I'm helping the hijacker ... Norway baby here we come!!!
Nor fucking way have we been hijacked
You're not on that flight don't worry that's the one full of troublemakers "
Think of the Norway flight as 'non-vanilla' lol |
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"I'm hijacking the plane... we're going to Norway..
That's the flight for the troublemakers
I'm helping the hijacker ... Norway baby here we come!!!
Nor fucking way have we been hijacked
You're not on that flight don't worry that's the one full of troublemakers "
As long as you're on mine |
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"I'm hijacking the plane... we're going to Norway..
That's the flight for the troublemakers
I'm helping the hijacker ... Norway baby here we come!!!
Nor fucking way have we been hijacked
You're not on that flight don't worry that's the one full of troublemakers "
No it's not...we repainted the tail when you weren't looking |
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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago
bristol |
"Ooo me please, I can help keep the captain comfortable in the cockpit
Can i be co-pilot?
Of course, can I help you get comfortable "
Go gentle playing with the joystick..to much throttle and we might take off to quickly |
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"I'm hijacking the plane... we're going to Norway..
That's the flight for the troublemakers
I'm helping the hijacker ... Norway baby here we come!!!
Nor fucking way have we been hijacked
You're not on that flight don't worry that's the one full of troublemakers
As long as you're on mine "
I made sure of it |
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"I'm hijacking the plane... we're going to Norway..
That's the flight for the troublemakers
I'm helping the hijacker ... Norway baby here we come!!!
Nor fucking way have we been hijacked
You're not on that flight don't worry that's the one full of troublemakers
No it's not...we repainted the tail when you weren't looking "
Of the wrong plane that was anticipated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooo me please, I can help keep the captain comfortable in the cockpit
Can i be co-pilot?
Of course, can I help you get comfortable
Go gentle playing with the joystick..to much throttle and we might take off to quickly "
Oh I'll be gentle, at first. Though a firm grip might be needed if we hit any turbulence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm still waiting for a flying companion and I'm unsure who's legs I put my head between when we go down!!! 
Well hello "
Oh Hello. Would you like a window seat, because I can already see a great view. |
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