FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Where do men go wrong on here?
Where do men go wrong on here?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great post OP, don't see enough of this 'heart of the matter' stuff.
Concise and refreshing and just enough winks to mask the gritted teeth...
In my opinion men go wrong when the discover the site and then click join... that click, right about there is where the guys go wrong!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
Basically this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or men with chips on their shoulders decide to better utter @#¥$holes and pm you abusive messages probably because they are getting any 
That in my opinion is where they go wrong  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So is the crude messages straight off? Cos I've never done that? I understand I ain't everyone's cup of tea but I'd give the elephant man a run for his money in a beauty contest lol |
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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago
bristol |
"There are way too many people agreeing with me.
Normal idiocy will be resumed shortly. Sorry for the sensible stuff folks. "
Come on....being all serious and stuff....who wants that?
Now both sit on the naughty step  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Various reasons. You're not their type, they didn't see the message amongst the drove of other messages, not a great message, they are already chatting to someone else in that point in time... Other things too, I'm sure  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So is the crude messages straight off? Cos I've never done that? I understand I ain't everyone's cup of tea but I'd give the elephant man a run for his money in a beauty contest lol"
Crude messages are off putting unless the conversation leads that way naturally on both sides.
I'd never a message a guy without knowing anything about him on his profile. I also want to feel special, if there's any clue that he would be up for netting any girl who asks I wouldn't reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So is the crude messages straight off? Cos I've never done that? I understand I ain't everyone's cup of tea but I'd give the elephant man a run for his money in a beauty contest lol"
Well if your messages aren't crap, then look at the profile or you're not what that person is looking for.
You've been here a week, patience, patience, patience, and a little more guess what? Patience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being negative because they think this is 'Instashag'and they should be wading through seas of Clunge.
Thinking that just because you are local to them you want to meet.
Thinking that just because you are online, you must be gagging for it (them)! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Where do men go wrong..........well 
PTU xxx"
Oh on here! Pha why didn't you say so. Are you breathing?  Then your going wrong. Nah is kidding but the point of my random whittering is you need to have fun n keep your fab life light hearted. As soon as you get all serious n stop having fun. It's game over n time to unlos.
Have fun
Keep fab light hearted
Don't take it to seriously
Make friends
Most of all enjoy.
PTU xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not having a pic of face when u message ,sending unsolicited cock pics ,being a knob ,not reading all the profile and putting their keyword in your opening etc etc the list goes on |
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"C'mon then ladies, I'm sure all the guys on here would love to know why you just delete the messages lol are we all that damn ugly? lol"
You're a good looking chap, in an ocean of good looking chaps.
You have not said what you're looking for/have to offer. Most will look at the profile before the message.
Now do you understand why your messages are deleted unread?
If you can't be arsed to make an effort... |
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Impatience and fuckwittery are most males downfall..
Males need to -
~Accept no as an answer.
~Accept no answer as no.
~Be polite and witty and gracious...
Beyond that, it's just a case of ticking the correct box... |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
This. Plus even if we might be interested at a later date we might not have a meet window for months and know from experience that responding to a message to say that still leads to hopes getting up. I hotlist such prospects instead and message them myself when I think my dance card might have an eventual opening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation.
This. Plus even if we might be interested at a later date we might not have a meet window for months and know from experience that responding to a message to say that still leads to hopes getting up. I hotlist such prospects instead and message them myself when I think my dance card might have an eventual opening. "
love the term dance card its quote quaint like courting should be used more often lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I delete when the message sounds like they've just picked you out of the argos catalogue and are just making small talk while they wait for delivery.
"Hey I like you so let's chat while we arrange a meet"
Urgh, get to feck! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Some lose perspective and become so desperate to empty their scrotum that any knock back, delay in responding and or, any other reason not to instantly shag them, they become hysterical akin to squealing piglet trying to get a teat on the mothers belly,
Some.
Know your worth, treat people nicely and chill, you'll be meeting within a few weeks.
And don't dance to the tune of the not so pleasant females, give them a wide berth. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
^^ This, I ignore the majority of my message based on the above |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Some lose perspective and become so desperate to empty their scrotum that any knock back, delay in responding and or, any other reason not to instantly shag them, they become hysterical akin to squealing piglet trying to get a teat on the mothers belly,
Some.
Know your worth, treat people nicely and chill, you'll be meeting within a few weeks.
And don't dance to the tune of the not so pleasant females, give them a wide berth."
Good to read your wise words once more. Snuggle? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People will give advice about how you should write a good profile .
People will give advice about what pics you should have up
But you can have a great profile . Great pics . But if they don't fancy yer you are not getting a shag |
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"C'mon then ladies, I'm sure all the guys on here would love to know why you just delete the messages lol are we all that damn ugly? lol"
Well I saw my mates inbox the other day and she have 686 unread messages.. thread over lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C'mon then ladies, I'm sure all the guys on here would love to know why you just delete the messages lol are we all that damn ugly? lol
Well I saw my mates inbox the other day and she have 686 unread messages.. thread over lol "
well I only sent her 685 so fuck knows who the other one was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've took into account the constructive stuff, and thanks guys its appreciated, as for all the haters..... well, I think you know what you can do "
Delete you messages? |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I've took into account the constructive stuff, and thanks guys its appreciated, as for all the haters..... well, I think you know what you can do "
And what haters would they be? I didn't see any hate, and if that is how you are going to conduct yourself, I don't think you will fair well on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive decided im going to make more of an effort to reply to those who message me, unless its abusive or rude or just `hi' sorry but that is lazy. So I will do my best to message everyone starting today. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I've took into account the constructive stuff, and thanks guys its appreciated, as for all the haters..... well, I think you know what you can do
And what haters would they be? I didn't see any hate, and if that is how you are going to conduct yourself, I don't think you will fair well on here
Constructive criticism would of been nice "
You were given constructive advice, the question was, 'where do men go wrong on here?'
We told you why, you didn't ask for any personal advice, so we aren't allowed to give it.
Nothing worse than a man throwing his toys out the pram  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I delete when the message sounds like they've just picked you out of the argos catalogue and are just making small talk while they wait for delivery.
"Hey I like you so let's chat while we arrange a meet"
Urgh, get to feck! "
That made me snort because it's soooo true!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I've had a go at improving my profile, feel free to inbox me as to what you all think, good or bad, I can take criticism"
No harm in asking. You look nice and I'd mail you if you were nearer.
I don't see an issue with only being on here for 7 days and asking for help. Better to ask than continue doing the wrong thing for ages.
Simple fact is- as others have said- if they don't want to fuck you they won't. It's not personal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Simple fact is- as others have said- if they don't want to fuck you they won't. It's not personal. "
YOU don't want to fuck ME.
how is that not personal to me?
. It doesn't get anymore personal in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Simple fact is- as others have said- if they don't want to fuck you they won't. It's not personal.
YOU don't want to fuck ME.
how is that not personal to me?
. It doesn't get anymore personal in my opinion. "
I don't take it personally. Someone somewhere will want to.
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"Some lose perspective and become so desperate to empty their scrotum that any knock back, delay in responding and or, any other reason not to instantly shag them, they become hysterical akin to squealing piglet trying to get a teat on the mothers belly,
Some.
Know your worth, treat people nicely and chill, you'll be meeting within a few weeks.
And don't dance to the tune of the not so pleasant females, give them a wide berth."
Well said...as per! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
This 100% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
agree with all of above..or we've politely told you no thanks once but they keep messaging
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing I don't get is why a guy will 1) take a selfie with a high vis jacket on 2) use it on a swingers site as a profile picture. Sorry if I sound rude. Just something that's always made me wonder and I needed to get it of my chest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So op best advice is give it more time chat to people get invited to socials and parties dont come across as desperate be polite and work on your profile and messaging skills and pray to God it works |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One thing I don't get is why a guy will 1) take a selfie with a high vis jacket on 2) use it on a swingers site as a profile picture. Sorry if I sound rude. Just something that's always made me wonder and I needed to get it of my chest "
It's my work uniform lol I haven't got glow sticks in my hands like I'm at a rave  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most guys probably think it should be easy because it's the site it is but women are here for many reasons and have their standards and likes...the same laws of attraction apply I would think |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So op best advice is give it more time chat to people get invited to socials and parties dont come across as desperate be polite and work on your profile and messaging skills and pray to God it works "
Noted cheers |
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Im not going to tar everyone with the same brush as we have had some genuinely nice messages from decent respectful gentleman, who once im better im hoping we may be able to meet, and i was once a single guy on here until i met my lovely partner betty.
In my opinion, and i will stress this is only my opinion , a lot of men on here are complete wank faces they, have no clue what swinging is or how to act when sending a first message.
90% of the messages we get its as if i dont even exist, they message a couple but in reality dont want me there so jog on by because its not happening, message single women if thats what you want
Secondly they start the messages as if we are automatically going to meet saying im going to do this that and the other, you wouldnt walk into a bar and talk like that so why is it ok online??
Thirdly there is a lot of married men on here with no balls to talk to there partner about whats wrong in there relationship so would rather play away and potentially drag other unspecting people into there dilemma.
Finally there is a lot of desperation , the day betty said i was in hospital we suddenly started getting messages, how slimey and heartless are some people?? She had to put on the status we was not meeting but even that didnt work.
And breathe!!!!
Frank |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I don't get is why a guy will 1) take a selfie with a high vis jacket on 2) use it on a swingers site as a profile picture. Sorry if I sound rude. Just something that's always made me wonder and I needed to get it of my chest
It's my work uniform lol I haven't got glow sticks in my hands like I'm at a rave "
April 25th - I fabbed it is a good pic OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Simple fact is- as others have said- if they don't want to fuck you they won't. It's not personal.
YOU don't want to fuck ME.
how is that not personal to me?
. It doesn't get anymore personal in my opinion.
I don't take it personally. Someone somewhere will want to.
"
With that in mind, I keep copying and pasting. .
(It is personal though, and if I stoped thinking it was, it does turn into dial-a-shag in my opinion. But that's another argument I'm sure. ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One thing I don't get is why a guy will 1) take a selfie with a high vis jacket on 2) use it on a swingers site as a profile picture. Sorry if I sound rude. Just something that's always made me wonder and I needed to get it of my chest
It's my work uniform lol I haven't got glow sticks in my hands like I'm at a rave
April 25th - I fabbed it is a good pic OP "
taken on board, changed it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
I disagree to that
I fear it's the lack of intellectual promise on both parties
E.g no cock pics 11 veris off men with nothing but cock pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Well I saw my mates inbox the other day and she have 686 unread messages.. thread over lol "
That's proves 3 things in my eyes
1 bad filters
2 bad inbox management
3 probably decent looking |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Message wise I think men go wrong most of the time because they presume we'll be up for shagging them no matter what. That can't be further from the truth!!!
Or it'll be obvious they haven't read the profile before messaging, that really gets on my wick  |
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
Just about sums it up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Patience is a virtue.
My self i prefer a connection to enhance a sexual experience. Not really one for just fucking a person with out exchanging good conversation.
Unless of course it's a big orgy haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say that where the majority go wrong is their failure to realise that no-one owes you a shag. You're not going to appeal to everyone, and this is not insta-shag.
How many have I seen leave, rejoin, leave and rejoin - and then moan about the fact that they never seem to get anywhere - when it's often pointed out that members want to be confident that someone is reliable, and so newbies need to show that they're going to be sticking around |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just go to clubs and get your face known, have a laugh. You even meet single blokes who end up being good mates and wingmen if you want/need too lol. Make profile that's not boring either. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just go to clubs and get your face known, have a laugh. You even meet single blokes who end up being good mates and wingmen if you want/need too lol. Make profile that's not boring either."
thats on the agenda, looking into it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it'll simply be either your message is rubbish, your profile is rubbish, or they don't fancy you and it's less grief to delete the message than enter into a 'but why' style conversation."
Saved me some typing there. Doh |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"Just go to clubs and get your face known, have a laugh. You even meet single blokes who end up being good mates and wingmen if you want/need too lol. Make profile that's not boring either.
thats on the agenda, looking into it "
See now if someone told you to wear fluorescent green socks in order to guarantee a shag, would you "look into it"? |
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By *wcwCouple
over a year ago
cheshire |
They delete or dont answer you. Or other guyys. Cuz they dont want to. Why should they be answerable to you or any other guy. N so fookin what Get a life. Stop moaning N if guys are saying registering on this site is a mistake. Get of it. Simple. We dont need moaning mard arses on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C'mon then ladies, I'm sure all the guys on here would love to know why you just delete the messages lol are we all that damn ugly? lol"
Breathing?
That where it all begins!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C'mon then ladies, I'm sure all the guys on here would love to know why you just delete the messages lol are we all that damn ugly? lol"
Have a look at damned if you do thread.. One woman's experience |
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"C'mon then ladies, I'm sure all the guys on here would love to know why you just delete the messages lol are we all that damn ugly? lol
Well I saw my mates inbox the other day and she have 686 unread messages.. thread over lol well I only sent her 685 so fuck knows who the other one was "
Persistent..love it haha |
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"
Well I saw my mates inbox the other day and she have 686 unread messages.. thread over lol
That's proves 3 things in my eyes
1 bad filters
2 bad inbox management
3 probably decent looking"
1 she's looking for single men so doesn't filter them.
2 she's a lazy cow lol
3 she's lush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can't be in the eyes of everybody so just do it for yourself.
Can't and won't please everyone all of the time"
I might if it was possible, but alas. |
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