FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do they do it?!

Why do they do it?!

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I dont understand why people on here go to the trouble of messaging and arranging a meet etc and then don't bother to turn up?! I am reliable and i would never do that to anyone.

The most annoying thing is that I completely understand that emergencies arise and things happen, but It takes just 10 seconds to whip a message off saying "sorry, can't meet".....

Yesterday, the man messaged me and pursuaded me to meet even though I did not particularly want to as I wasn't feeling my best!! He asked for my suggestions for a venue close to me and even the postcode so he could find it easily!!

I went to a lot of trouble with hair, make-up and a nice dress and was humiliated being chatted up by some old, d*unk man while I waited...

The worst thing of all, this man has a profile on here suggesting that he wants a relationship!! I just don't get it. Members like this, give the actual genuine ones here a bad name and is why some leave the site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never had that happen. Probably because I haven't had many meets and stick to clubs.

But a woman knows the TIME and effort that goes into making oneself beautiful for a meet. Seriously, it can take me days. To have someone not show up without contact is disrespectful and plain bad manners. Devastating, too.

I still think there should be a strike system for no-shows. Once someone has let down, say, 6 people, they could be banned and their ip address blocked from re-registering. (If such a thing is possible?)

And if a profile showed a few strikes, people would be aware that someone could be unreliable.

Forewarned is forearmed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you Cleo.....

Yes it did take a lot of effort. Like I said, I didn't really want to meet yesterday anyway, I would have prefered another night, I was very hungover and worn out from a great night the night before, but he insisted.

Like you say, disrespectful.

I totally agree with the strike thing...you should be able to put a mark or flag on their profile or something.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Report him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry to hear that you were let down yesterday. Sorry for a number of reasons. First of all he persuaded you to go when you really didn't want to. Secondly you had to endure being subject to some d*unken stranger chatting you up. And thirdly it could make you a little more suspicious of genuine guys who definitely turn up. Don't let this put you off us good guys x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I can't as he blocked me when I put the status update up last night!

What a joke eh....he messed me around and stands me up and I'm the one who gets blocked for having the cheek to expose the idiot/time waster!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Flippancy seems to be a pretty common theme in these kinda places

Your not people your just options..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can't as he blocked me when I put the status update up last night!

What a joke eh....he messed me around and stands me up and I'm the one who gets blocked for having the cheek to expose the idiot/time waster!

Naming and shaming is against the rules

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should still be able to report him from any messages you have.

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By *earandmonkeyCouple over a year ago

uxbridge

"Thank you Cleo.....

Like you say, disrespectful.

I totally agree with the strike thing...you should be able to put a mark or flag on their profile or something. "

Maybe this is this guys kick he likes the feeling of power by persauding you into it and then letting youdown he might even be having a good wanking thinking about it. Im not tryimg to be masty but there are some weird kinks put there and this could be a possible answer as to why they do it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just goes to show it's not necessarily the un verified that are time wasters. I'd remove your status tho as name and shame is against site rules.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You should still be able to report him from any messages you have.

Only 1 side of the story.

Are you gonna report op for her status.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What a twonk!! Tbh sounds like he us married/attached and the wife came home earlier than expected

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time. "

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time. "

Naming and shaming isn't allowed anywhete on the site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The words bottle and lost spring to mind.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Hows she one when she sat in the pub like a knobhead for an hour?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Hows she one when she sat in the pub like a knobhead for an hour? "

Was you with her? Like i say only have her word for it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows. "

You're just being nasty to her for no reason now, yes he might have had another offer, doesnt make it better than her nor does it excuse letting someone go out and wait for you and stand them up, its just cowardly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows. "

So, you would arrange to meet a woman, get the address, tell her you'll be there, then not turn up-without telling her-because a better offer came in?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/04/17 13:07:44]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

So, you would arrange to meet a woman, get the address, tell her you'll be there, then not turn up-without telling her-because a better offer came in?"

If i better offer came up I'd be honest and say I'm sorry but i cant meet now. TC. If you can get a better meet why wouldn't you. I'm not here for 2nd best

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By *oodnitegirlWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Careful- I had an "enforced holiday" for a thread like this because apparently it's not allowed."

Me too but hers isnt as ranty as mine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If he had a better offer (I doubt it) then at least have the decency to send a damn message. It doesn't take 10 seconds.

It's rude and disrespectful and you seem to be condoning it that behaviour and attitude.

He persuaded ME to meet when I wasn't feeling up to it, but I liked him so I agreed.

There is never a good reason for letting someone down without the courtesey and good manners to let them know.

There is always one side to the story...the guy DOES have the opporunity to come on here and put HIS side forward IF he wants to TRY and justify his behaviour. This is a public forum and anyone can post and i welcome his post trying to defend himself if he wishes to.

Status has been removed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If he had a better offer (I doubt it) then at least have the decency to send a damn message. It doesn't take 10 seconds.

It's rude and disrespectful and you seem to be condoning it that behaviour and attitude.

He persuaded ME to meet when I wasn't feeling up to it, but I liked him so I agreed.

There is never a good reason for letting someone down without the courtesey and good manners to let them know.

Status has been removed. "

Maybe he didn't want any drama and blocking was the best way to avoid it.

As for courtesy to you reply to every message you receive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that "

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either "

Well i hope you reported said person to the police and site admin so it can't happen to anyone else

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Invictus you are not serious surely.....seems like someone IS being ridiculous, nasty and trying to provoke to me?!

There is one heck of a difference in not replying to a message and arranging a meet when the lady was not up to it, agreeing a venue and then standing her up without even a message....

Like I say, seems to me that you are condoning that disgusting behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can't as he blocked me when I put the status update up last night!

What a joke eh....he messed me around and stands me up and I'm the one who gets blocked for having the cheek to expose the idiot/time waster!

You can still report him. Click on his profile, click the menu button on the top left corner of your phone screen. Lots of options pop up. One is to report him for no shows or time wasting. Then block him!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either

Well i hope you reported said person to the police and site admin so it can't happen to anyone else "

What I do is my business and doesnt need discussing, not sure why you are being so rude but calling her 2nd best is basically saying she isnt good enough. Would you like it if we were calling you that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Invictus you are not serious surely.....seems like someone IS being ridiculous, nasty and trying to provoke to me?!

There is one heck of a difference in not replying to a message and arranging a meet when the lady was not up to it, agreeing a venue and then standing her up without even a message....

Like I say, seems to me that you are condoning that disgusting behaviour. "

You're the one causing the drama with the post. I'm a believer that something's are better to keep to yourself and learn from them. I couldn't careless what other guys do on fab. It don't affect me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would have prefered another night, I was very hungover and worn out from a great night the night before, but he insisted. "

Why didn't you insist that you'd prefer another night?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/04/17 13:16:08]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Louisalou

Thank you - appreciate your help.

I can't get to his profile if he's blocked me? It won't let me - it just gives me a message saying "can't access profile" ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either

Well i hope you reported said person to the police and site admin so it can't happen to anyone else

We you did a few posts up. It's water off a ducks back to me. Plenty more fish in the sea as they say. I wouldn't let someone think i was that upset that they didn't meet me tbh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Probably the guy is married,like most are on here but seek fun outside of their marriage..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either

Well i hope you reported said person to the police and site admin so it can't happen to anyone else

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either

Well i hope you reported said person to the police and site admin so it can't happen to anyone else

I'm amazed you can still post. Naming and shaming on a status but no ban. Double standards much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either

Well i hope you reported said person to the police and site admin so it can't happen to anyone else

We you did a few posts up. It's water off a ducks back to me. Plenty more fish in the sea as they say. I wouldn't let someone think i was that upset that they didn't meet me tbh "

Doesnt matter what you think the OP is asking why people do it, if you dont have anything nice to say why say it instead of being spiteful!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either

Well i hope you reported said person to the police and site admin so it can't happen to anyone else

PM if you want a chat and some help on how to report the profile x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have deleted all messages unfortunately.

Also I haven't named on the forum, just as a status and he deserves to be exposed so that he doesn't waste anyone else's time.

Who's to say you're not the time waster?

Look at my veri's mate.... would I really be on the forum moaning about making an effort IF I were the time waster??

I also suggest that you read my op a little better and you will realsise that statement is simply ridiculous.

Only have you're word for it. There's always another side. No one is owned Anything on here. Maybe he had a better offer. Who knows.

You need a thick skin on fab. Not being nasty at all. It happens to everyone. You should know that

I didnt get stood up though I got physically hurt that doesnt require a thick skin! Dont worry i wont settle for 2nd best either

Well i hope you reported said person to the police and site admin so it can't happen to anyone else

We you did a few posts up. It's water off a ducks back to me. Plenty more fish in the sea as they say. I wouldn't let someone think i was that upset that they didn't meet me tbh

Doesnt matter what you think the OP is asking why people do it, if you dont have anything nice to say why say it instead of being spiteful! "

I have a valid reason. I'm not here to blow smoke up op arse. A better offer is one of many reasons. In reality she would be better of not wanting to know why and move on. No drama then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Louisalou

Thank you - appreciate your help.

I can't get to his profile if he's blocked me? It won't let me - it just gives me a message saying "can't access profile" ? "

Yes you can still get to his profile honest. When that pop up comes up, just click the menu button on the top right hand corner and the options will show. I've done it a few times.

If a guy or woman arranges a meeting but changes their mind, it's damn well good manners to message/call to cancel! Only an A hole would think it's OK let alone actually stand someone up. It's not on. Manners costs nothing!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Invictus IF you read the posts properly, you WILL see that I stated a few posts back that the status has been removed.

Now if you haven't got anything useful and constructive to say, please leave me alone.

I am asking nicely.

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By *ovely CummingsWoman over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

He persuaded ME to meet when I wasn't feeling up to it, but I liked him so I agreed.

I think a big clue is in this.

Some are here because they get a kick out of the chase... And talking someone into meeting that wasn't up for it is the ultimate for them...

Fab lesson learnt - don't ever be pressured into doing anything you don't want to... If they won't wait to meet you when you're ready /free to, they won't be worth meeting

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Louisalou

Thank you - appreciate your help.

I can't get to his profile if he's blocked me? It won't let me - it just gives me a message saying "can't access profile" ? "

on the desktop version you can click on his profile and youll see the message that you are blocked.

Go to the blue menu on the left of the page and you still have the Block this profile button