FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Reporting no shows?
Reporting no shows?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you have shelled out money for travel or hotels then it's fair to expect some financial recompense. But other than that, surely it's just rejection and wasted time. No real harm done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because that person is a timewaster who doesn't respect other people's time and investments. They ruin the quality of trust on the site. If you don't plan to show up, why make somebody else go through the effort of preparing and going to meet when they could be doing something else? They should have told you that they changed their mind.
There's a reason why the site suspends the profile of such individuals. Maybe you didn't have to travel far so you can just brush it off. But others may spend time, money, effort etc. Timewasters should be executed!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
"
It's generally advised to report no-shows who DON'T give notice of cancelling.
Of course you have the right to change your mind, but you have stated that you would let the other person / persons know as soon as possible - and this is totally acceptable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have shelled out money for travel or hotels then it's fair to expect some financial recompense. But other than that, surely it's just rejection and wasted time. No real harm done. "
Surely it's just reporting and a deleted profile. No real harm done. |
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Never happened to me but it's just bad manners. No one objects to a change of mind in a reasonable time prior to the meet. But to have ppl travelling miles then telling them on arrival at the meeting point it isn't happening is unacceptable. Who does that and why? However if they cancel time wasting is what they are deemed to be guilty of, that label I think is unfair. Sometimes things don't become apparent immediately when arranging a meet. Then something transpires you aren't happy with after a period of time, that's unfortunate. Despite it being unfortunate it happens and they aren't time wasting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
It's generally advised to report no-shows who DON'T give notice of cancelling.
Of course you have the right to change your mind, but you have stated that you would let the other person / persons know as soon as possible - and this is totally acceptable"
We have backed out of a meet but with more than half a days notice. We were planning to meet at abfabs. The other couple were going to go anyway so I feel that was acceptable.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?"
Why not just report and move on?
I report them because;
1. I want revenge
2. I don't want other Fabbers to get bitten by them. I see this as a community and I happily look out for other members. Seek and destroy timewasters! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?
Why not just report and move on?
I report them because;
1. I want revenge
2. I don't want other Fabbers to get bitten by them. I see this as a community and I happily look out for other members. Seek and destroy timewasters! "
Very noble of you, lol. Glad to see this site is strictly policed. Vigilante justice! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ive been stood up.. then received messages saying they could see me and sending nasty abusive messages so they got reported for both"
Reporting abusive messages is a whole different thing. Totally understandable. Report those buggers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can honestly say I've never had a "no show".
I have, however, had a few people back out, for different reasons....but have been informed in advance....thankfully before I had travelled anywhere (as I tend to accommodate more often).
I've also had to cancel myself a couple of times....but always been able to communicate this to the other party.
I do NOT consider this to be tine wasting.
Circumstances change. Things come up. Meets have been re-arranged and happened later in some cases....nothing to report. It's called life!
If I did travel and found a no show without being informed....then I would report. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?
Why not just report and move on?
I report them because;
1. I want revenge
2. I don't want other Fabbers to get bitten by them. I see this as a community and I happily look out for other members. Seek and destroy timewasters!
Very noble of you, lol. Glad to see this site is strictly policed. Vigilante justice!"
Oh, if you could imagine me pelvic-thrusting the air when a timewaster's account has been removed after I report them
It feels sooo good!
How noble of me lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can I ask what sort of communication happened prior to the meet.
Visual i.e. cams or calls or just mails. And how long before the meet was the final communication...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have shelled out money for travel or hotels then it's fair to expect some financial recompense. But other than that, surely it's just rejection and wasted time. No real harm done. "
Recompense! Who'd pay, them or Fab? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you have shelled out money for travel or hotels then it's fair to expect some financial recompense. But other than that, surely it's just rejection and wasted time. No real harm done.
Recompense! Who'd pay, them or Fab?"
If they agreed to pay half the hotel and then didn't bother and left you with the bill, it's unlikely they would cover their half, but in an ideal world they would do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?
Why not just report and move on?
I report them because;
1. I want revenge
2. I don't want other Fabbers to get bitten by them. I see this as a community and I happily look out for other members. Seek and destroy timewasters!
Very noble of you, lol. Glad to see this site is strictly policed. Vigilante justice!
Oh, if you could imagine me pelvic-thrusting the air when a timewaster's account has been removed after I report them
It feels sooo good!
How noble of me lol "
Imagining some William Wallace/ Rob Roy figure now!
Or maybe Batman.
The Avengers!
I feel safer knowing your thrusting pelvis is being upstanding for the good citizens of Fab.
 xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have shelled out money for travel or hotels then it's fair to expect some financial recompense. But other than that, surely it's just rejection and wasted time. No real harm done.
Recompense! Who'd pay, them or Fab?
If they agreed to pay half the hotel and then didn't bother and left you with the bill, it's unlikely they would cover their half, but in an ideal world they would do. "
Suppose I agree with you but how to get them to? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you have shelled out money for travel or hotels then it's fair to expect some financial recompense. But other than that, surely it's just rejection and wasted time. No real harm done.
Recompense! Who'd pay, them or Fab?
If they agreed to pay half the hotel and then didn't bother and left you with the bill, it's unlikely they would cover their half, but in an ideal world they would do.
Suppose I agree with you but how to get them to?"
I did say "in an ideal world" |
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By *VBethTV/TS
over a year ago
Chester |
If someone cancels with notice that's fine. If someone plain doesn't turn up with no explanation then they get reported as a no show. My free time is important to me as I find myself with much less lately. Therefore if I spend 2 hours getting ready for someone not to show up with no explanation then they're certainly going to be reported as a timewaster. Because that is EXACTLY what they are! |
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"Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
"
If you've agreed to meet at a time and a place , and have a last minute change of heart , the other person has every right to feel pissed off . But that's still acceptable as you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with .
But it does beg the question as to why you agreed in the first place . To simply say that you've changed your mind and they should cope with the rejection just makes you arrogant and selfish really . It's not hard to at least show up when you've agreed to , and if they have looked forward to the meet , and possibly travelled to meet up , they have every right to report you as a timewaster as that's what you are isn't it ?
If you tell them in good time however , and they haven't left home , that's more acceptable . As is an emergency or something going wrong . But if it's just because you change your mind close to the meet , be more sure with your selection process before agreeing to meet , as it will invariably piss people off , and quite rightly too . |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"If you have shelled out money for travel or hotels then it's fair to expect some financial recompense. But other than that, surely it's just rejection and wasted time. No real harm done.
Recompense! Who'd pay, them or Fab?
If they agreed to pay half the hotel and then didn't bother and left you with the bill, it's unlikely they would cover their half, but in an ideal world they would do.
Suppose I agree with you but how to get them to?"
you slip a contractual agreement into your messages. the vaguer the words the better too then they don't even know what they've done.
if they don't fulfil the contract within 2 weeks, small claims court it is.  |
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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago
Scarborough |
Fab is a funny place, like any contact is a done deal? Where it is clearly not, its all about trust, consent and then throw in real life? As a guy on here it has been no shows, cancelled meets at the end of the drive etc . THE REAL FK OFF IS the heap of people who get their thrill out of metaphorically screwing others!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab is a funny place, like any contact is a done deal? Where it is clearly not, its all about trust, consent and then throw in real life? As a guy on here it has been no shows, cancelled meets at the end of the drive etc . THE REAL FK OFF IS the heap of people who get their thrill out of metaphorically screwing others! "
Yep we used to call them cock teasers long before sites like this existed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Provided you give them reasonable notice you're unable to meet and don't lead the other party on to the point they've driven miles to the agreed upon meeting point or made hotel arrangements only to be met with a blasé mail or text at the last moment informing them you no longer feel like it..
If in doubt about the other party, don't allow things to progress to a point of arranging a meeting that will ultimately never take place is my personal policy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not only did they drop communication but they read my subsequent emails asking what happened and even blocked me. They stayed online. I don't think it gets more disrespectful than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have shelled out money for travel or hotels then it's fair to expect some financial recompense. But other than that, surely it's just rejection and wasted time. No real harm done.
Recompense! Who'd pay, them or Fab?
If they agreed to pay half the hotel and then didn't bother and left you with the bill, it's unlikely they would cover their half, but in an ideal world they would do.
Suppose I agree with you but how to get them to?
I did say "in an ideal world""
I wasn't critising I was agreeing. |
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Don't overthink it - if you feel wronged by others in a manner that's not conducive to high levels of trust and confidence here, report them to admin. If you explain the details as fully as possible, admin are able to build a fuller picture on users. People are typically creatures of habit, so individuals will probably not be the only ones to suffer.
And everyone has the right to say no to sex at any point, even if you've started and want to discontinue. It's still decent to turn up and explain, rather than leave others potentially vulnerable or distressed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been stood up.. then received messages saying they could see me and sending nasty abusive messages so they got reported for both
Reporting abusive messages is a whole different thing. Totally understandable. Report those buggers! "
You could say why report an abusive message from someone you don't know. Pull your big girl pants up, block them and forget about it. It's only words on a screen at the end of the day.
Personally I think abusive messages and those who agree to meet but don't and don't contact the person they were supposed to meet should both be reported. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
"
I think that if a person is showing a consistent record of no shows then they are "removed" from the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I honestly would hate to be stood up. If there isn't a warning and little to no contact to tell you. That has to be bad, and I'd be surprised if it doesn't bother anyone. If your hard to it, I'm unsure if you have any feelings at all.
I'd Report and move on, though. If they didn't/don't care, why waste energy thinking about it? Put your energy into those that do want to discover what your about.  |
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"Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
If you've agreed to meet at a time and a place , and have a last minute change of heart , the other person has every right to feel pissed off . But that's still acceptable as you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with .
But it does beg the question as to why you agreed in the first place . To simply say that you've changed your mind and they should cope with the rejection just makes you arrogant and selfish really . It's not hard to at least show up when you've agreed to , and if they have looked forward to the meet , and possibly travelled to meet up , they have every right to report you as a timewaster as that's what you are isn't it ?
If you tell them in good time however , and they haven't left home , that's more acceptable . As is an emergency or something going wrong . But if it's just because you change your mind close to the meet , be more sure with your selection process before agreeing to meet , as it will invariably piss people off , and quite rightly too ."
Exactly this in my view |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember being stood up a few years ago. I had a hotel booked ( was on business ) and carefully selected a meet. Lots and lots of chat and contact right up to " I'm on my way" to the realisation that they are not on their way, have blocked you on whatsapp and deleted their Fab profile all in space of 10 minutes ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember being stood up a few years ago. I had a hotel booked ( was on business ) and carefully selected a meet. Lots and lots of chat and contact right up to " I'm on my way" to the realisation that they are not on their way, have blocked you on whatsapp and deleted their Fab profile all in space of 10 minutes ! "
And it's this type of thing I've heard of and what I fear most. |
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We have been stood up numerous times
Why do we report, because hopefully admins will identify time wasters and remove them from the site.... Its not about regaining control, its about hopefully stopping someone else from having an evening wasted. |
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My cut off point is about 1 to 2 hours prior to the arranged meet. If they don't inform or inform within 1 to 2 hrs I consider them as a timewaster.
A lot of effort is involved when a meet is arranged. Some might even have to arrange a nanny to look after their children etc.
I used to report but I don't see any action being taken, so I just block, ignore and do something else.
I never cancelled a meet.
To me, a meet is not just an arrangement, it's a commitment. I commit to a meet and it's my responsibility to honour the promise made. |
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"Because that person is a timewaster who doesn't respect other people's time and investments. They ruin the quality of trust on the site. If you don't plan to show up, why make somebody else go through the effort of preparing and going to meet when they could be doing something else? They should have told you that they changed their mind.
There's a reason why the site suspends the profile of such individuals. Maybe you didn't have to travel far so you can just brush it off. But others may spend time, money, effort etc. Timewasters should be executed! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I ask what sort of communication happened prior to the meet.
Visual i.e. cams or calls or just mails. And how long before the meet was the final communication...
"
... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See...some time ago, I was to meet a lady.
And she didn't turn up but did inform me a full 6hrs AFTER the proposed event that she couldn't meet.
I was then blocked for suggesting that she had been a 'bit unfair'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?"
Exactly, us people are generally annoying and awkward. If you reported every dickhead on here then admin would be inundated!! Unfortunately as I real life most people you meet are idiots. Just except it and move on!! |
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"Why not just block and move on?
Exactly, us people are generally annoying and awkward. If you reported every dickhead on here then admin would be inundated!! Unfortunately as I real life most people you meet are idiots. Just except it and move on!!"
Seriously? So if you had arranged 20 meet's and 20 time's you're stood waiting for them to turn up whilst you're looking like an idiot and they're a no show,that's ok is it? Do you just accept it and move on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?
Exactly, us people are generally annoying and awkward. If you reported every dickhead on here then admin would be inundated!! Unfortunately as I real life most people you meet are idiots. Just except it and move on!!"
Nobody is saying to report every dickhead on here. Just the ones who arraign meet and don't.
Those ones should be hung, drawn and quartered |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me cancelling a meet at the last minute is lack of manners and respect. Something that is flooding this country in general.
As people have said it generally takes time if not expenses to meet someone and for them to say sorry can't make it at the last minute or worse when your on route or arrived. Its just Bang wrong.
I say block them, I've never stood anyone up and never had it happen to me - thank god. Had meets cancelled for a variety of reasons as we all have. I meet a lovely couple this weekend and they said they've had a few no shows. My god they were both very good looking (clearly needed to goto Specsavers) so it can and does happen to everyone.
I agree people have right to change mind. Though manners and general decency shouldn't fail and sufficient notice should be given.
As for any rat who turns up and then sends abusive messages - 50 lashing - then half the little shits would enjoy that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?
Exactly, us people are generally annoying and awkward. If you reported every dickhead on here then admin would be inundated!! Unfortunately as I real life most people you meet are idiots. Just except it and move on!!
Seriously? So if you had arranged 20 meet's and 20 time's you're stood waiting for them to turn up whilst you're looking like an idiot and they're a no show,that's ok is it? Do you just accept it and move on?"
I think your polarising there to suit your point.
If you did meet 20 people and you were stood up 20 times. Then you should maybe look at yourself, the type of communication the responses and address the obvious issues there.
I.e. 20 one line messages don't get 20 meets.
That's why I've asked the OP about the communication, type, frequency etc...
That normally establishes if theyre wrong'uns. |
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"Why not just block and move on?
Exactly, us people are generally annoying and awkward. If you reported every dickhead on here then admin would be inundated!! Unfortunately as I real life most people you meet are idiots. Just except it and move on!!
Seriously? So if you had arranged 20 meet's and 20 time's you're stood waiting for them to turn up whilst you're looking like an idiot and they're a no show,that's ok is it? Do you just accept it and move on?
I think your polarising there to suit your point.
If you did meet 20 people and you were stood up 20 times. Then you should maybe look at yourself, the type of communication the responses and address the obvious issues there.
I.e. 20 one line messages don't get 20 meets.
That's why I've asked the OP about the communication, type, frequency etc...
That normally establishes if theyre wrong'uns."
No my point was how many time's do you just accept it before you do report! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
"
It is more if people don't let the person know they are not going to show |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?
Why not just report and move on?
I report them because;
1. I want revenge
2. I don't want other Fabbers to get bitten by them. I see this as a community and I happily look out for other members. Seek and destroy timewasters!
Very noble of you, lol. Glad to see this site is strictly policed. Vigilante justice!
Oh, if you could imagine me pelvic-thrusting the air when a timewaster's account has been removed after I report them
It feels sooo good!
How noble of me lol "
Go go go. Fully agree |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Never happened to me but it's just bad manners. No one objects to a change of mind in a reasonable time prior to the meet. But to have ppl travelling miles then telling them on arrival at the meeting point it isn't happening is unacceptable. Who does that and why?
."
We had to do that once, the man was ten minutes away from the meeting place. We arranged again and he had to cancel half hour before. We arranged a third time and had a great meet.
Sometimes real life gets in the way of meets and for us real life comes first. |
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One meet...
Clean the place up, making the bedroom ready for fun....an hour or two
Getting ready...boo takes a good few hours, she wants to look her best, smell amazing, choose outfits ect ect.
The nerves of the build up, the excitment... The time approaches and we are waiting, boo dressed up, made up and both teasing each other...
10 past....ok they could be running late
20 past... Hope everything is ok
30 past... Another timewaster?
40 past... Yep another fucking idiot!
Now boo has confidence issues anyway about her body....so being messed about knocks on there..
Now eat, sleep, rinse, repeat!
So yeh we report and block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not just block and move on?
Exactly, us people are generally annoying and awkward. If you reported every dickhead on here then admin would be inundated!! Unfortunately as I real life most people you meet are idiots. Just except it and move on!!
Seriously? So if you had arranged 20 meet's and 20 time's you're stood waiting for them to turn up whilst you're looking like an idiot and they're a no show,that's ok is it? Do you just accept it and move on?
I think your polarising there to suit your point.
If you did meet 20 people and you were stood up 20 times. Then you should maybe look at yourself, the type of communication the responses and address the obvious issues there.
I.e. 20 one line messages don't get 20 meets.
That's why I've asked the OP about the communication, type, frequency etc...
That normally establishes if theyre wrong'uns.
No my point was how many time's do you just accept it before you do report!"
That's why the quality, type and organisation and transparency of communication is key. These are merely extensions of the topic of a recent thread on 'things to make women meet' too.
I'd suggest the vast majority of people who can do that will meet. People who can't... Well don't be surprised if your left standing.
Effectively... put your own quality control in place. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
Effectively... put your own quality control in place."
I don't get the idea that it is the person fault if they are stood up. We learnt early on at the signs of the wannabees so adjusted the way we did things very early on. After meeting a few people we got stood up and we hadn't changed how we vetted people. It happens to the best of us, we don't feel it was our fault.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
"
The report is you did not turn up. It is irrelevant whether you have the right not to go or you told them or not. You agreed to a meet and backed out. They will decide whether or not to report you based on if they believe you.
If you are going to stand people up this is the result. |
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"
Effectively... put your own quality control in place.
I don't get the idea that it is the person fault if they are stood up. We learnt early on at the signs of the wannabees so adjusted the way we did things very early on. After meeting a few people we got stood up and we hadn't changed how we vetted people. It happens to the best of us, we don't feel it was our fault.
"
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I would only report someone who agreed a meet,then didnt show up or contact us.Thats a tinewaster to me,probably annoyed you didnt want to meet them,I think it shows you made the right decision.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Effectively... put your own quality control in place.
I don't get the idea that it is the person fault if they are stood up. We learnt early on at the signs of the wannabees so adjusted the way we did things very early on. After meeting a few people we got stood up and we hadn't changed how we vetted people. It happens to the best of us, we don't feel it was our fault.
"
I'm not sure where I said it's your fault?
I'm clearly stating that if you have checks and balances then the 'vast majority' of meets will take place.
Am guessing thats what your saying too. |
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By *ustme6Man
over a year ago
tamworth |
"Genuine question.
There are comments on another thread about reporting members who fail to show up at meets?
I've never stood anyone up, but I'd like to think that I have the right to change my mind at any point. (Obviously I'd let them know as soon as I made my decision and hopefully not leave it too late) but surely it's my right to back out of any sexual encounter?
Why is that a reason to be reported? If I was stood up I'd just put my big girl panties on and accept it.
It's generally advised to report no-shows who DON'T give notice of cancelling.
Of course you have the right to change your mind, but you have stated that you would let the other person / persons know as soon as possible - and this is totally acceptable
We have backed out of a meet but with more than half a days notice. We were planning to meet at abfabs. The other couple were going to go anyway so I feel that was acceptable.
"
Had someone threaten to report mefor backing out of a meeting two days before we had planned it.....no expense suffered....bizzare...  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
Effectively... put your own quality control in place.
I don't get the idea that it is the person fault if they are stood up. We learnt early on at the signs of the wannabees so adjusted the way we did things very early on. After meeting a few people we got stood up and we hadn't changed how we vetted people. It happens to the best of us, we don't feel it was our fault.
I'm not sure where I said it's your fault?
I'm clearly stating that if you have checks and balances then the 'vast majority' of meets will take place.
Am guessing thats what your saying too. "
You didn't say it was "my fault" personally no, but I think you know thats not what I was saying.
It makes it hard to have a discussion when people do this.
The point I was making was, a lot is said on the forum that if you have no shows it means you are doing something wrong as if it is the persons fault they were stood up.
You say " Can I ask what sort of communication happened prior to the meet.
Visual i.e. cams or calls or just mails. And how long before the meet was the final communication..." and "That's why I've asked the OP about the communication, type, frequency etc...
That normally establishes if theyre wrong'uns."
What answer would be acceptable for you to establish whether people are arranging meets the right way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just move on no point crying over it plenty more members on here . "
It's not a case of crying about it!
As said on many posts on this.....it has involved hours of getting ready then maybe a hour + drive....hanging about like a numpty then maybe finding your meet has decided to block you!
I do not find that acceptable in anyway!
I think by reporting them your helping the site and fellow users! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Effectively... put your own quality control in place.
I don't get the idea that it is the person fault if they are stood up. We learnt early on at the signs of the wannabees so adjusted the way we did things very early on. After meeting a few people we got stood up and we hadn't changed how we vetted people. It happens to the best of us, we don't feel it was our fault.
I'm not sure where I said it's your fault?
I'm clearly stating that if you have checks and balances then the 'vast majority' of meets will take place.
Am guessing thats what your saying too.
You didn't say it was "my fault" personally no, but I think you know thats not what I was saying.
It makes it hard to have a discussion when people do this.
The point I was making was, a lot is said on the forum that if you have no shows it means you are doing something wrong as if it is the persons fault they were stood up.
You say " Can I ask what sort of communication happened prior to the meet.
Visual i.e. cams or calls or just mails. And how long before the meet was the final communication..." and "That's why I've asked the OP about the communication, type, frequency etc...
That normally establishes if theyre wrong'uns."
What answer would be acceptable for you to establish whether people are arranging meets the right way?"
Well... you mentioned not our fault twice so I honestly thought you were. So best to clarify eh.
In terms of what what's acceptable. That will vary from person to person. So it's nigh on impossible to answer.
All that's being suggested is... clear, concise, legible communication in its many forms at reasonable rate of return.
That will result in a successful majority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you're getting stood up time and time again, then you need to look at how you're vetting the people you're arranging to meet but sometimes you can do all you can to verify they are genuine and they will still stand you up. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"So...
Someone doesn't meet you report them.
What happens...?
What action does the site take...?"
Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.
******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).
Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.
Admin
PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.
Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:
--
Your feedback has been saved.
A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.
By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.******
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Effectively... put your own quality control in place.
I don't get the idea that it is the person fault "
Theres 1.
"if they are stood up. We learnt early on at the signs of the wannabees so adjusted the way we did things very early on. After meeting a few people we got stood up and we hadn't changed how we vetted people. It happens to the best of us, we don't feel it was our fault."
theres 2.
"
"
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
Effectively... put your own quality control in place.
I don't get the idea that it is the person fault Theres 1.if they are stood up. We learnt early on at the signs of the wannabees so adjusted the way we did things very early on. After meeting a few people we got stood up and we hadn't changed how we vetted people. It happens to the best of us, we don't feel it was our fault.theres 2.
"
Yeah this is what I was talking about when I said it is hard to discuss sometimes on here.
Will leave you to it as either I have not conveyed what I was saying very well or you are being obtuse.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you.
Have do they do this bit:
Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.
sounds like a hard one to bottom out without just accessing every mail between parties?
is that what they do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Effectively... put your own quality control in place.
I don't get the idea that it is the person fault Theres 1.if they are stood up. We learnt early on at the signs of the wannabees so adjusted the way we did things very early on. After meeting a few people we got stood up and we hadn't changed how we vetted people. It happens to the best of us, we don't feel it was our fault.theres 2.
Yeah this is what I was talking about when I said it is hard to discuss sometimes on here.
Will leave you to it as either I have not conveyed what I was saying very well or you are being obtuse.
"
Ah... the old shit i did do it am gonna point the finger and get off routine.
Nice one cabbage lol |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I think if you're getting stood up time and time again, then you need to look at how you're vetting the people you're arranging to meet but sometimes you can do all you can to verify they are genuine and they will still stand you up."
This is exactly what I meant. It wouldn't matter how much vetting you do you can still be stood up.
We have had meets where there has been a fair bit of conversation and always seen on cam , we have also had one meet where we had three mails, one phone call and were meeting up within two hours.
I don't think there is an exact science to it other than go with your gut. Some people just like to waste time, they could be very good at the spiel, to blame the victim for that is not right for me and it seems to go on a lot when timewasters are mentioned.
Having said that , people should use their nouse when ed people out
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you're getting stood up time and time again, then you need to look at how you're vetting the people you're arranging to meet but sometimes you can do all you can to verify they are genuine and they will still stand you up.
This is exactly what I meant. It wouldn't matter how much vetting you do you can still be stood up.
We have had meets where there has been a fair bit of conversation and always seen on cam , we have also had one meet where we had three mails, one phone call and were meeting up within two hours.
I don't think there is an exact science to it other than go with your gut. Some people just like to waste time, they could be very good at the spiel, to blame the victim for that is not right for me and it seems to go on a lot when timewasters are mentioned.
Having said that , people should use their nouse when ed people out
"
I agree AND report no shows. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you're getting stood up time and time again, then you need to look at how you're vetting the people you're arranging to meet but sometimes you can do all you can to verify they are genuine and they will still stand you up."
Correct!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you're getting stood up time and time again, then you need to look at how you're vetting the people you're arranging to meet but sometimes you can do all you can to verify they are genuine and they will still stand you up.
Correct!!! "
That's what Rugby was meaning too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, last one, spoke on here he seemed keen. Swapped pics, he got keener, did kik, he was still keen. Had a quick video chat, he was even keener.
Bearing in mind I don't send dick pics or naked shots or anything.
Then he messaged saying he was going to be a bit late, then ........ nothing. Gave him an hour and a half. Can't see the point of reporting him, but I have blocked him on everything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, last one, spoke on here he seemed keen. Swapped pics, he got keener, did kik, he was still keen. Had a quick video chat, he was even keener.
Bearing in mind I don't send dick pics or naked shots or anything.
Then he messaged saying he was going to be a bit late, then ........ nothing. Gave him an hour and a half. Can't see the point of reporting him, but I have blocked him on everything. "
I would have....you have given him a lot of info that is not on the site.
Then he doesn't turn up....it maybe nerves, but he will do it again to someone else!
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Do admin do anything about the reports? "
Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.
******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).
Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.
Admin
PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.
Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:
--
Your feedback has been saved.
A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.
By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.****** |
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