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Was Jesus Good In Bed?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pfft! And on one of the Christian calendars most Holy of days too! 
As someone Christened into the CoE but essentially an atheist non-believer by choice it's just as well that I can see the funny side of the thread and I'm not insulted or offended by it, but I can understand if many practising Christians were.
G'wan, openly ask the same question about Religious Deities of all of the other major global faiths though .. I dare ya!
(And in answer to the question I reckon he was woeful - everytime he touched a pussy the bloody thing would heal up!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pfft! And on one of the Christian calendars most Holy of days too!
As someone Christened into the CoE but essentially an atheist non-believer by choice it's just as well that I can see the funny side of the thread and I'm not insulted or offended by it, but I can understand if many practising Christians were.
G'wan, openly ask the same question about Religious Deities of all of the other major global faiths though .. I dare ya!
(And in answer to the question I reckon he was woeful - everytime he touched a pussy the bloody thing would heal up!)"
And it took him 3 days to rise again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think he was gay or asexual. His lifestyle certainly? indicated he could not have married. "
in judea it was illegal to be gay at the time of christ. He would have been stoned to death. Or so some historical commentators have posited. The Jews had very strong opinions on "sodomites"
Remember at the time he wasn't preaching a new religion. He was just preaching his version of the existing religion and there were other prophets walking around at the same time as him. To be seen as legit he would have to conform to the Jewish ideals of the day. He had a wife. It's just been airbrushed out of history
Now onto the very serious question ... I would say he was a real goer. Lots of stamina but tender too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think he was gay or asexual. His lifestyle certainly? indicated he could not have married. in judea it was illegal to be gay at the time of christ. He would have been stoned to death. Or so some historical commentators have posited. The Jews had very strong opinions on "sodomites"
Remember at the time he wasn't preaching a new religion. He was just preaching his version of the existing religion and there were other prophets walking around at the same time as him. To be seen as legit he would have to conform to the Jewish ideals of the day. He had a wife. It's just been airbrushed out of history
Now onto the very serious question ... I would say he was a real goer. Lots of stamina but tender too. "
He could not have had a wife as he travelled around from town to town. Jewish women of the day couldn't leave the house unchapperoned and uncovered and could not work, they were supported by their father then husband (like modern day Saudi).
Just like John before him, Jesus was nomadic and could not support a wife in that culture.
The gay thing was semi-glib. He did call Peter "rock" lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think he was gay or asexual. His lifestyle certainly? indicated he could not have married. in judea it was illegal to be gay at the time of christ. He would have been stoned to death. Or so some historical commentators have posited. The Jews had very strong opinions on "sodomites"
Remember at the time he wasn't preaching a new religion. He was just preaching his version of the existing religion and there were other prophets walking around at the same time as him. To be seen as legit he would have to conform to the Jewish ideals of the day. He had a wife. It's just been airbrushed out of history
Now onto the very serious question ... I would say he was a real goer. Lots of stamina but tender too. "
A wife would potentially mean a surviving blood line, perhaps the reason for the airbrushing, if indeed anything approaching what you intimate actually happened.
Every descendent would be viewed with reverence and worshiped as living descendents of a deity.
In a way his purported celibacy and chaste life makes him a particularly intriguing figure. His faith and spiritual life was his vice and passion perhaps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think he was gay or asexual. His lifestyle certainly? indicated he could not have married. in judea it was illegal to be gay at the time of christ. He would have been stoned to death. Or so some historical commentators have posited. The Jews had very strong opinions on "sodomites"
Remember at the time he wasn't preaching a new religion. He was just preaching his version of the existing religion and there were other prophets walking around at the same time as him. To be seen as legit he would have to conform to the Jewish ideals of the day. He had a wife. It's just been airbrushed out of history
Now onto the very serious question ... I would say he was a real goer. Lots of stamina but tender too.
A wife would potentially mean a surviving blood line, perhaps the reason for the airbrushing, if indeed anything approaching what you intimate actually happened.
Every descendent would be viewed with reverence and worshiped as living descendents of a deity.
In a way his purported celibacy and chaste life makes him a particularly intriguing figure. His faith and spiritual life was his vice and passion perhaps."
You guys are getting it all wrong. It's not like other historic figures never had wives due to "airbrushing". Mohammed had over 8 and Aisha was only 6 years old when he married her. So embarrasment is obviously no soley enough enlugh o warrant airbrushing Moses, Abraham all of them had wives. So why would anyone care? Mary is called the mother of God and no one bothered.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you have to look at the origin of the whole religion to see why he was airbrushed. The very earliest cultists were seen as revolutionary and dangerous. A world where everyone was equal, where the poor had as much chance of getting into heaven as the rich ... where your behaviour here dictated your afterlife ... The rich elites wouldn't have wanted that at all. And yes, you cannot have people walking around claiming to be the king of heavens ancestors. They would have been a powerbase that would invite retribution. The airbrushing could have been done to protect his line from harm.
To get legitimacy for the religion many things were done. Incorporating the sol ivictus cult into Christianity for example changed lots of the symbols associated with jesus. The sun disk surrounding his head (the undefeated sun was a cult from sun worshiping Egypt that became very popular in Rome.)
And in the early church there were many different factions that had different views on life. Living in hedonistic Rome where sex was often seen as a political tool and fidelity was an oddity rather than the norm, the church would have seen celibacy as a way to differentiate itself from the other religions and as an easy way to get good credit for getting into heaven. Yeah. You might be poor but if you don't fuck around you will get into gods home. So be good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think he was gay or asexual. His lifestyle certainly? indicated he could not have married. in judea it was illegal to be gay at the time of christ. He would have been stoned to death. Or so some historical commentators have posited. The Jews had very strong opinions on "sodomites"
Remember at the time he wasn't preaching a new religion. He was just preaching his version of the existing religion and there were other prophets walking around at the same time as him. To be seen as legit he would have to conform to the Jewish ideals of the day. He had a wife. It's just been airbrushed out of history
Now onto the very serious question ... I would say he was a real goer. Lots of stamina but tender too.
A wife would potentially mean a surviving blood line, perhaps the reason for the airbrushing, if indeed anything approaching what you intimate actually happened.
Every descendent would be viewed with reverence and worshiped as living descendents of a deity.
In a way his purported celibacy and chaste life makes him a particularly intriguing figure. His faith and spiritual life was his vice and passion perhaps.
You guys are getting it all wrong. It's not like other historic figures never had wives due to "airbrushing". Mohammed had over 8 and Aisha was only 6 years old when he married her. So embarrasment is obviously no soley enough enlugh o warrant airbrushing Moses, Abraham all of them had wives. So why would anyone care? Mary is called the mother of God and no one bothered.
"
Islam didn't develop in Rome. It was a religion that flourished amongst tribes before it found civilisation. And abramah and moses were part of a kingly lineage. The old testament is a history of a people. By the time the Romans got to judea, the kingdom of Israel was gone, destroyed by the assyrians. Jesus and the cult he spawned were growing in one of the most political and power obsessed societies in the world. The roman emperors didn't let powerful people walk around in its empire. If you were a threat you were killed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With women or his disciples? A good point....should have been on Fabguys as he spent so much time with his disciples!  "
The disciple who Jesus loves was leaning against him during the Last Supper. So Jesus was not against physical affectionate contact with a man with whom he shared an emotional connection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry for derailing the thread
Jesus was an awesome lover"
Not at all, very interesting contributions indeed.
Although your theory is fascinating there are some even present day who sublimate their energies into a particular focus or passion, renouncing physical relations and common pursuits of pleasure to invest in the object of their devotion exclusively.
Jesus was human or atleast inhabited an earthly human vessel, did he have sexual feelings by virtue of his physicality but choose to suppress them and rechannel those energies elsewhere?
From what i know of him he seemed a very compassionate , caring and giving person/ demi god.. So I'd imagine if he had a sexual life, his lovers would've? been very happy indeed.
I personally think he was celibate though. |
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