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Are you bothered..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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By what you post in the forums.
I don't mean expressing your personal opinion or stance, even if it is contrary to the masses. More so, how you interact and debate and the effect it has on others.
I replied last night in a rather grumpy mood, rather tersely to a post and on reflection it was unkind.
Some say who cares, I don't give a damn what people think.
So do you pause to ensure you articulate yourself carefully to avoid causing offence...even if by misunderstanding. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When it comes to fab, as well as social media, we have the policy of not saying anything that we wouldn't be prepared to say to some one's face.
And doesn't necessarily mean we're always 'nice' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeah i think it does matter.. I consider myself to be a decent person and there are ways of saying things to get your point across without being a total wank stain.
Day i let anger dictate my emotions is the day i lost..
'kill them with kindness'  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When it comes to fab, as well as social media, we have the policy of not saying anything that we wouldn't be prepared to say to some one's face.
And doesn't necessarily mean we're always 'nice' "
A good policy...but some times things are misconstrued, and 20 posts later it's too difficult to rectify the words you had chosen.
Maybe the hazards of debating in this medium? |
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I've actually apologised to a couple on a cheaters thread because I was sarcastic and confrontational. You can express your opinion without crushing ppl unnecessarily it's not difficult. I'm here to laugh not cause offence or hurt. I'm more likely to say something untoward in the defence of someone being attacked  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes,in as far as I don't want to come across as a horrible person. "
Sometimes(not you)badly chosen words can be interpreted in many ways.
I try to pause and reread to think how others will interpret what I've said. Do others? |
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I think it does matter how you put your opinion across. If everyone puts theirs over in a nasty or angry way then it makes the forums a pretty toxic place to be. If you don't care what people think of you or your opinion, why are you commenting? (not aimed at anyone).
There are ways of conducting discussions without throwing up a black cloud over everything  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've actually apologised to a couple on a cheaters thread because I was sarcastic and confrontational. You can express your opinion without crushing ppl unnecessarily it's not difficult. I'm here to laugh not cause offence or hurt. I'm more likely to say something untoward in the defence of someone being attacked "
I think there's quite a few apologies go on via the PM. I've done so. |
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I generally am respectful of others and hope this guides me all of the time such that I'd not infringe my boundaries.
As such I do generally care what effect I have on the world and other people. I'm not perfect, so bound to make mistakes but also want to learn from them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it comes to fab, as well as social media, we have the policy of not saying anything that we wouldn't be prepared to say to some one's face.
And doesn't necessarily mean we're always 'nice'
A good policy...but some times things are misconstrued, and 20 posts later it's too difficult to rectify the words you had chosen.
Maybe the hazards of debating in this medium?"
Oh yes, very true. It's part of the reason why I'm only an occasional forumite, and avoid certain threads.
But I like to think I'm a good communicator.
I don't go out my way to wind people up, but I don't kiss arse.
I've apologised to people on the forums about something I've said, and had apologies in return.
-Mr |
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"I've actually apologised to a couple on a cheaters thread because I was sarcastic and confrontational. You can express your opinion without crushing ppl unnecessarily it's not difficult. I'm here to laugh not cause offence or hurt. I'm more likely to say something untoward in the defence of someone being attacked I think there's quite a few apologies go on via the PM. I've done so."
I apologised on the thread and we exchanged some nice PMs too, happy ending |
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"Yes,in as far as I don't want to come across as a horrible person.
Sometimes(not you)badly chosen words can be interpreted in many ways.
I try to pause and reread to think how others will interpret what I've said. Do others?"
Yeah sure. Some people are really good as getting their point across in a controlled and positive way,those people I have the upmost respect for. Other's however don't and they just get people's backs up from the get go,whether they intended that god know's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes because everything is typed out its hard to interpreate just how to poster is saying it.
Im generally positive and so read everything with a happy slant.. it i was in a shitty mood guess i might read things differently.
Im not the best when it comes to typing out what i actually mean and over the years have came out with some right twattish statements lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cogitate upon every word I write before posting because I wouldn't want people to either get the wrong impression of me or be upset by my muses in anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I care. I started a thread once and people thought I was being judgey (I wasnt and when I pointed it out people did apologise as they had misread what I said) but it kinda got to me, like to think of myself as a good person who accepts people for who they are and even if it was strangers online who thought bad of me i wouldn't like it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I care. I started a thread once and people thought I was being judgey (I wasnt and when I pointed it out people did apologise as they had misread what I said) but it kinda got to me, like to think of myself as a good person who accepts people for who they are and even if it was strangers online who thought bad of me i wouldn't like it. "
Aye, I think bad of you for cheating at rps, whit you gonna dae about it shorty?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try not to be horrible because i don't like that quality in others, but sometimes a topic is something that you're passionate about and they get heated and it is easy to get carried away.
On those occassions it's best to just hold your hands up and admit you were being a twit.
My issue is that i can be quite sarcastic and dry, and that usually doesn't go over well on the internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only ever comment with a light touch here. It's not my style to get aggravated in discussions, although I would say over the years I've made one or two pithy comments, never regretted them though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say what I think and it can be offensive, but I'm not snide or passive aggressive and I don't make sly digs at people who I don't like, unlike others.
I also don't reply to people I don't like unless they're clearly trying to provoke me and yes, its got me a ban, but its worth it. |
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"I care. I started a thread once and people thought I was being judgey (I wasnt and when I pointed it out people did apologise as they had misread what I said) but it kinda got to me, like to think of myself as a good person who accepts people for who they are and even if it was strangers online who thought bad of me i wouldn't like it.
Aye, I think bad of you for cheating at rps, whit you gonna dae about it shorty? "
There are witnesses to that you know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Aye, I think bad of you for cheating at rps, whit you gonna dae about it shorty?
Rematch under referee supervision to prove I won fair and square! "
Aye but it will need tae wait till after the easter weekend, cause I intend to get wreaked fs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me the forums is a lighthearted break from the real life stuff we all go thru and as such I try to only post fun, positive, nice & mostly nonsense waffle... if I'm having a crap day I tend to avoid the forums in case i end up failing to "bite my tongue" at certain regular posters who I try to avoid as they have a habit of getting right on my tits. |
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"Yes,in as far as I don't want to come across as a horrible person.
Sometimes(not you)badly chosen words can be interpreted in many ways.
I try to pause and reread to think how others will interpret what I've said. Do others?"
Sometimes its hard to express yourself in a way that might not come across as being more confrontational than you would want it to be, and when that happens I try to re-word it.
However, sometimes its impossible not to upset those that seem determined to be affronted, or offended.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes,in as far as I don't want to come across as a horrible person.
Sometimes(not you)badly chosen words can be interpreted in many ways.
I try to pause and reread to think how others will interpret what I've said. Do others?
Sometimes its hard to express yourself in a way that might not come across as being more confrontational than you would want it to be, and when that happens I try to re-word it.
However, sometimes its impossible not to upset those that seem determined to be affronted, or offended. "
Ahhh very true. Sometimes you do just think; how on earth did I offend you? Thankfully they're in the minority......  |
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" By what you post in the forums.
I don't mean expressing your personal opinion or stance, even if it is contrary to the masses. More so, how you interact and debate and the effect it has on others.
I replied last night in a rather grumpy mood, rather tersely to a post and on reflection it was unkind.
Some say who cares, I don't give a damn what people think.
So do you pause to ensure you articulate yourself carefully to avoid causing offence...even if by misunderstanding."
Not causing offence is fine and a good place to start. Occasionally people need to be offended for their good and/or the good of others.
I think most decent people may look back and quail at some misguided comment from a previous discussion but if it was said in good faith then we are probably best to let it lie.
On occasion it may be prudent to write to the afflicted and offer apology, this being the internet however it is more likely that we will just entrench our position further and keep digging.
Sad really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to be how I think I am face to face. So I generally avoid the heavy threads unless it's something I can't resist. Sometimes humour or the way you want to comment is difficult as it's two dimentional here. You can't use tone or facial expression to show it's meant in jest. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I find it difficult at times to express humour without heavy usage of emojis but generally I try to be aware of how I post. I don't use personal attacks as that's shitty as are the passive aggressive posts that pop up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've regretted a few posts, not because I thought they were wrong per se, nor was the intention flawed, but rather the knock on consequences made it not worth doing and a bit shitty. However I learned from them and I'm a lot more cynical and less trusting on here as a result! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I worry sometimes that my intended tone gets lost betwixt fingers and screen.
On the whole I don't think it really matters with my posts though... I mostly post nonsense "
I actually have this in posting and also reading messages, texting is terrible because context, fence and feeling can all get lost, face to face a lot better and preferable all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I worry sometimes that my intended tone gets lost betwixt fingers and screen.
On the whole I don't think it really matters with my posts though... I mostly post nonsense
I actually have this in posting and also reading messages, texting is terrible because context, fence and feeling can all get lost, face to face a lot better and preferable all the time. "
Very true. Speaking out loud via the medium of text just doesn't translate well sometimes.
Though I think a pattern of behaviour is always evident if you read enough of the individuals posts.
First what it's worth I've yet to see anything harsh written by you. |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"I worry sometimes that my intended tone gets lost betwixt fingers and screen.
On the whole I don't think it really matters with my posts though... I mostly post nonsense
I actually have this in posting and also reading messages, texting is terrible because context, fence and feeling can all get lost, face to face a lot better and preferable all the time. "
 #therealworld #facetoface.
I often type out a reply to posts but end up deleting as when I read it back although adjusting too, it still doesn't convey exactly what I mean and the manor meant.
This post may also disappear.. In three two |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of my posts are invisible, so it doesn't really matter what I post "
I'm not surprised, after seeing you pics I don't think I'd be able to see anything else for ages!  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Most of my posts are invisible, so it doesn't really matter what I post
I'm not surprised, after seeing you pics I don't think I'd be able to see anything else for ages! "
Smooth, but thanks  |
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"Yes,in as far as I don't want to come across as a horrible person.
Sometimes(not you)badly chosen words can be interpreted in many ways.
I try to pause and reread to think how others will interpret what I've said. Do others?
Sometimes its hard to express yourself in a way that might not come across as being more confrontational than you would want it to be, and when that happens I try to re-word it.
However, sometimes its impossible not to upset those that seem determined to be affronted, or offended.
Ahhh very true. Sometimes you do just think; how on earth did I offend you? Thankfully they're in the minority...... "
Yup lol!
Then there are the threads which take on a life of their own, and the OP not only joins in with the banter, but positively encourages it, one of my favourites was the "Shed gangbang" one, funny as hell. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I couldn't care less, I've spoke my mind when I want to. Even if it may have been a little different to everyone else. Beauty of free speech "
Speaking your mind is fine. But it depends if you want your point to be persuasive?
A few cautious words with tactile language in a debate is surely better than a passionate outburst that offends?
Free speech is everyone's right I accept. But if it's a right then we should use it wisely? |
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By *irceWoman
over a year ago
Gloucester |
" By what you post in the forums.
I don't mean expressing your personal opinion or stance, even if it is contrary to the masses. More so, how you interact and debate and the effect it has on others.
I replied last night in a rather grumpy mood, rather tersely to a post and on reflection it was unkind.
Some say who cares, I don't give a damn what people think.
So do you pause to ensure you articulate yourself carefully to avoid causing offence...even if by misunderstanding."
You sound a nice guy, thoughtful, unfortunately many come on fab to vent hate at posters all the time, i could name names but a ban would ensue  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to remain "nice" but there are times when I do get slightly more out spoken and opinionated. I've never been out and out been nasty particularly but sometimes it does take several rewrites of posts so that I don't let rip. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really mind what people think of me, but I do try not to offend and have re-drafted posts before hitting the button or more often not bothered. The internet is not the best way to debate anything that people feel strongly about.. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
i'm socially inappropriate and a stickler for using the correct terms and use those, so don't really care what i say, plus nobody gives a shit what i say so win/win for me.
i think though, mainly for me, is the area i'm posting in influences me. like i have to dumb down to use this site, which is cool and i'm used to it irl so not really arsed, like if i was using a better site i'd have said i'm not bothered or fussed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think about how I post, and would always be prepared for someone to challenge me if they felt I'd upset them -- that's never my intent and I'd totally apologise. I'm jokey and silly but it's not supposed to upset. I will assert my opinion and challenge comments I feel are hurtful. I do think there's a lot of passive agg sniping which is a shame, but I think it says more about those that do it then anything else. I also think there's a huge amount of misinterpretation that goes on. I know some comments possibly meant jokingly I've found hurtful, but hell it just filters out those that are less appealing to me, awareness of impact of your actions is something I merit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only ever defend myself and make a point not to attack anyone. I do object to when a simple difference of opinion is turned into something more personal as I don't see any need for that. |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
I always try to be respectful. I've been on the receiving end of a few personal attacks over the years and I try to keep some dignity in my responses. Ultimately its strangers on a website and therefore I do my feel a need to censor my opinions.
Nor do I worry if people don't like me for whatever reason. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I tend to post what I think but think about what I post. The only time it bothers me is if I say something meant in jest and it gets taken seriously. Or when I post disagreeing politely with someone and they comment to thank me for agreeing with them. That happens fairly often; and I always find myself wondering if they actually read what I wrote or if I was at fault for wording it wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'm socially inappropriate and a stickler for using the correct terms and use those, so don't really care what i say, plus nobody gives a shit what i say so win/win for me.
i think though, mainly for me, is the area i'm posting in influences me. like i have to dumb down to use this site, which is cool and i'm used to it irl so not really arsed, like if i was using a better site i'd have said i'm not bothered or fussed."
Yes I can relate to this.
It's why my posts are fairly neutral.
I could be the real me, but this site is supposed to be fun. So I keep it that way. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I'm mindful about what I say and how I say it. Belittling comments, personal attacks and hiding behind 'just being honest' are not pleasant, especially when it's then justified by saying that we are strangers on the internet so it doesn't matter. How we interact with other people always matters, strangers or not. Differences of opinion are a good thing, debating is good, humour is great but I do think we should take care with our words.
What's the expression? Blowing out someone else's candle doesnt make yours brighter. |
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a valuable lesson learnt 
