FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Stay at home mummas!
Stay at home mummas!
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
My son's Dad worked away so I found it very isolating going from working full time to not working
Unfortunately we eventually split up so I was a single working parent
Would say I had a great balance when I term time only work  | |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"My years as a stay at home dad were the most rewarding and productive work I've ever done. I couldn't care what anyone else thought about it. I know my kids loved it" | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"It's sad that it's talked about like right or wrong thing. It's a personal choice either way with pro's and con's to both. Not all women are suited to be stay at home mums nor are all women suited to have serious careers. " Quite. Just like some men are not suited to serious careers, and some men would be better as stay at home dads. (Some of my friends who are stay at home dads... they are treated the absolute worst. They are constantly emasculated by people.) | |||
"It's sad that it's talked about like right or wrong thing. It's a personal choice either way with pro's and con's to both. Not all women are suited to be stay at home mums nor are all women suited to have serious careers. Quite. Just like some men are not suited to serious careers, and some men would be better as stay at home dads. (Some of my friends who are stay at home dads... they are treated the absolute worst. They are constantly emasculated by people.)" I find it an odd point of view that fathering / raising children could be thought of as un-manly. Traditional definitions of masculinity are centered around being a leader, there's nothing manly about having children and subsequently having fuck all to do with them. | |||
| |||
| |||
I dont work due to my youngest having health issues so alot of hospital appointments meaning I cant commit to a job. I used to be a model and a barmaid/silver service waitress but had to giv it up due to pregnancy.. I miss working but kidz come first ALWAYS.
Mrsmazza x | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I hate that this country means you have to choose between a big family or a career...but the state of our government is a whole other post ????" A big family *is* a career. | |||
"I think you are fortunate to be in the postion where you can financially afford to go down the traditional stay at home mom route. I do wonder how many comments you receive have an element of jealousy to them" When I was with my partner and had our daughter, it worked out that we were better off with her not going back to work then if she did. I'd be careful about saying someone is fortunate to be able to afford to stay home with the kids. Sometimes going back to work isn't financially viable. If she'd have gone back to work, once child care was factored in, we'd have been about £100 worse off then if she stayed home. She was a career woman and found it really hard giving up part of her life to stay home and look after our daughter. It was really hard watching her be so torn, knowing what she wanted, but what our finances allowed. I take my hat off to any woman that has a baby, whether you go back to work or become a stay at home mum. Both paths are hard and both come with some social stigma behind them. Stay at home - lazy Go back to work - uncaring Women should do what is right for them and their child and anyone who has a gripe with how they chose to parent should do one in my opinion. Oh, and just to finish, stay at home mums are hot! Nothing like a naughty rendezvous after dropping at the school gates in the morning, much more fun than the house work. And career women, you're hot too, but are saved for the evenings and weekends. Either way, mummas, you're hot and you rock! | |||
| |||
"I hate that this country means you have to choose between a big family or a career...but the state of our government is a whole other post ???? A big family *is* a career." Very true actually....x | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
 | |||
"3 kids is average, i have 4. thing is, with landlords, they don't really want their properties using and therefore contributing towards them having to maintain that property. so you being at home all day is one problem for them, you having kids means kids at home with you also. wear on tear on the house means possible costs for them in the near future, even if it's only the carpets cleaning/replacing, and redecorating when you move out. " 3 is not the average think its 1.8 or something. Its called the demographic timebomb the ratio of people at working age to pensioners. Its an interesting subject im telling you thats why angie merkal is letting all those people into germany | |||
| |||
| |||
"The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it Personally... I am a single parent of 2 and work 50+ hours a week... yet I have to contribute my hard earned coin to the mums that can't be bothered to get dressed in a morning. I've never claimed a penny and nor would i." Dole dossing*** (typing with fury) | |||
| |||
"3 kids is average, i have 4. thing is, with landlords, they don't really want their properties using and therefore contributing towards them having to maintain that property. so you being at home all day is one problem for them, you having kids means kids at home with you also. wear on tear on the house means possible costs for them in the near future, even if it's only the carpets cleaning/replacing, and redecorating when you move out. 3 is not the average think its 1.8 or something. Its called the demographic timebomb the ratio of people at working age to pensioners. Its an interesting subject im telling you thats why angie merkal is letting all those people into germany " it's gone down a fair bit, interesting to find out the actual number though, thanks. to add to what you're saying science is progressing very nicely towards replacing parts and fixing cells. longevity of life should also come with physical quality of body improving/advancing very soon.
unfortunately automation of employers means a new problem we have to over come and should have overcome decaeds ago. | |||
"3 kids is average, i have 4. thing is, with landlords, they don't really want their properties using and therefore contributing towards them having to maintain that property. so you being at home all day is one problem for them, you having kids means kids at home with you also. wear on tear on the house means possible costs for them in the near future, even if it's only the carpets cleaning/replacing, and redecorating when you move out. 3 is not the average think its 1.8 or something. Its called the demographic timebomb the ratio of people at working age to pensioners. Its an interesting subject im telling you thats why angie merkal is letting all those people into germany " 1.8 is the european average yes, so pretty much everyones pension will be worth jack shit without either increased immigration or workplace automation (robots). | |||
"The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it Personally... I am a single parent of 2 and work 50+ hours a week... yet I have to contribute my hard earned coin to the mums that can't be bothered to get dressed in a morning. I've never claimed a penny and nor would i." Thanks for your comment hotness! Here's where I have to disagree a little...I think it's unfair when mums get the brunt of taking the decision to stay at home to raise their children if the dad hasn't been willing to step up...and here's where I may make some male enemies although it's not meant in disrespect...I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young..I do understand that unfortunately this is sometimes hard if you already have huge financial responsibilities..and I myself had to work due to this but I'll be honest looking back I wish I had taken that few years and sat on benefits and been there to witness my sons first steps...having lost his twin I can say there's no price on them moments. it's a hard one but us females definatly get it tough xx | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Don't understand the stigma with stay at home moms, but I for sure would enjoy to be a stay at home dad! " I dont understand stigma against any sort of decision relating to ones family including women who don't want children, house wives or career ladies... | |||
"The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it Personally... I am a single parent of 2 and work 50+ hours a week... yet I have to contribute my hard earned coin to the mums that can't be bothered to get dressed in a morning. I've never claimed a penny and nor would i. Thanks for your comment hotness! Here's where I have to disagree a little...I think it's unfair when mums get the brunt of taking the decision to stay at home to raise their children if the dad hasn't been willing to step up...and here's where I may make some male enemies although it's not meant in disrespect...I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young..I do understand that unfortunately this is sometimes hard if you already have huge financial responsibilities..and I myself had to work due to this but I'll be honest looking back I wish I had taken that few years and sat on benefits and been there to witness my sons first steps...having lost his twin I can say there's no price on them moments. it's a hard one but us females definatly get it tough xx" I'm glad you said this. Single mums get the brunt of it, when the problem often is the so-called father who buggered off leaving them in that position. The number of real life women who "get pregnant to get a council house" and then scrounge off the tax payer is actually tiny. The number of women struggling to get by because the father of their kids has left them in the lurch is much, much higher. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it Personally... I am a single parent of 2 and work 50+ hours a week... yet I have to contribute my hard earned coin to the mums that can't be bothered to get dressed in a morning. I've never claimed a penny and nor would i. Thanks for your comment hotness! Here's where I have to disagree a little...I think it's unfair when mums get the brunt of taking the decision to stay at home to raise their children if the dad hasn't been willing to step up...and here's where I may make some male enemies although it's not meant in disrespect...I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young..I do understand that unfortunately this is sometimes hard if you already have huge financial responsibilities..and I myself had to work due to this but I'll be honest looking back I wish I had taken that few years and sat on benefits and been there to witness my sons first steps...having lost his twin I can say there's no price on them moments. it's a hard one but us females definatly get it tough xx" i enjoyed doing that, my ex walked away from his 2 kids and left me to it. being on benefits was really hard, no money and i had no support from family either. i was quite fortunate to find a cash in hand job for 3 months where i could take my son with me as this meant i could buy furniture for my house and have the heating on, little things like that mean a lot when you're poor, after those few months i never found another job where i could take my kids with me and no way could i find one where the money was good enough to pay for someone to look after my sons. this is like 20 yrs ago and there was no support off the government other than measly benefits -but i had a home and my kids and was happy enough, stressed at times but mostly happy. it was very fulfilling as a parental role and i never understood how my ex could just walk away from his kids like he did. i'm now learning a lot more now i have the time and money to be fortunate enough to do that and i'm teaching my kids what i am learning because i want better for them that what i got dealt with. i also hope to get a brilliant job off this myself but will have to wait and see. so long as we're managing and i have the time to do what i want life is good anyway. | |||
"From a male perspective. 3 children is not alot. It's wrong that women should be stigmatised for wanting to be full time mums, they should be given more support, if not by their partner then by the state. I don't understand this drive that some women have to return to work so soon after childbirth. Surely the cost of childcare negates the extra income. Hats off to all you stay at homers, you do a valuable job and should be rewarded, not vilified." I hate the term full time mum. | |||
| |||
"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them! If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut. I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views "just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason. | |||
"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young.." The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better. There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young. And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad. | |||
"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them! If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut. I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views
just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason."I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth. I don't get tax credits | |||
"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them! If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut. I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views
just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.
I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.
I don't get tax credits"So...who pays for you benefit then? | |||
| |||
"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them! If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut. I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views
just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.
I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.
I don't get tax credits
So...who pays for you benefit then?"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. | |||
"Well I just like to say well done to all u mums who stay home and look after your children. Can't fault it. All mums are great and I sure miss mine and she always worked never spent much time with my parents growing up. All your children will be thank full when they are older that I have taken good care of them. Well done ladies. (Mummy's)" Will they? I look up to my mum and have the utmost respect for her for raising us and succeeding so far in her career. She is an inspiration. | |||
"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. " I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then? | |||
"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young.. The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better. There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young. And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad." Agree that there's no problem with a stay at home dad but there are biological and neurological differences between men and women that mean women are always more likely to be primary care givers and men are always more likely to be primary bread winners. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with a reversal of the roles since variation is a natural process. | |||
"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them! If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut. I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views
just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.
I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.
I don't get tax credits"you do have to choose to receive child benefits coz it's not available to everyone now, but fair enough you only receive that as it's not for you anyway and is for your kids. most people i know who trot out what you say are usually claiming tax credits too so that's why i always ask them. thanks for replying. | |||
"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?" it's not a benefit for herself, that benefit is directly for the child and it's needs. | |||
"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?" I do do a lot for charity. Do i donate the ful £132 of it to charity.. No I do not. I spend it on my children
I wonder what money the 'stay at home mummys' use to pay their fab subscription and buy their sexy outfits.... | |||
"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them! If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut. I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views
just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.
I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.
I don't get tax credits
you do have to choose to receive child benefits coz it's not available to everyone now, but fair enough you only receive that as it's not for you anyway and is for your kids.
most people i know who trot out what you say are usually claiming tax credits too so that's why i always ask them. thanks for replying. "Because my childcare bill is so high.. I am entitled to a small amount but do not claim this. I chose to work therefore I will pay for the childcare I need. | |||
"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young.. The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better. There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young. And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad." Well said | |||
"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then? it's not a benefit for herself, that benefit is directly for the child and it's needs." I understand that. What I'm asking is, if she thinks you shouldn't have kids of she needs child benefits what she does with the child benefit which (by following her own logic) she doesn't even need. Personally I'd prefer my tax payer money to go to parents who need support to raise their children than those who don't | |||
"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then? I do do a lot for charity. Do i donate the ful £132 of it to charity.. No I do not. I spend it on my children
I wonder what money the 'stay at home mummys' use to pay their fab subscription and buy their sexy outfits.... "i didn't have enough money for outfits or subscriptions to anything when i was an on benefits mum. but they're legally entitled to claim whatever money they're getting so they can buy whatever they can afford and don't have to feel guilty about that. | |||
| |||
"People should do what's right for them . No one should be judged stay at home or working mums I find it interesting that you've made a comment about someone having one child and returning to work being part of a selfish society " | |||
"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then? it's not a benefit for herself, that benefit is directly for the child and it's needs. I understand that. What I'm asking is, if she thinks you shouldn't have kids of she needs child benefits what she does with the child benefit which (by following her own logic) she doesn't even need. Personally I'd prefer my tax payer money to go to parents who need support to raise their children than those who don't " But what if they had the choice of working or just claiming instead. Don't you think that money could go to a better use? Feeding and clothing the homeless. Medical research. Cancer patient support. Better hospitals. Better schools..... These days parents are still claiming when kids are school age. The government have been forced to offer free nursery places to tots because when they get to school age they are so far behind they can't keep up. Parents are getting ( in some cases) up to 30 hours a week free childcare whilst they watch day time tv! | |||
"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young.. The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better. There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young. And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad. Agree that there's no problem with a stay at home dad but there are biological and neurological differences between men and women that mean women are always more likely to be primary care givers and men are always more likely to be primary bread winners. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with a reversal of the roles since variation is a natural process. " Actually... there have been multiple studies which largely debunk what you just said. | |||
"I think you are fortunate to be in the postion where you can financially afford to go down the traditional stay at home mom route. I do wonder how many comments you receive have an element of jealousy to them When I was with my partner and had our daughter, it worked out that we were better off with her not going back to work then if she did. I'd be careful about saying someone is fortunate to be able to afford to stay home with the kids. Sometimes going back to work isn't financially viable. If she'd have gone back to work, once child care was factored in, we'd have been about £100 worse off then if she stayed home." 100% this. Frankly I am surprised at how many posts say staying at home is a luxury, or that people are lucky to be able to afford to live on one salary. Many mothers cannot afford to work as their pay would barely cover childcare costs. | |||
"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then? I do do a lot for charity. Do i donate the ful £132 of it to charity.. No I do not. I spend it on my children
I wonder what money the 'stay at home mummys' use to pay their fab subscription and buy their sexy outfits....
i didn't have enough money for outfits or subscriptions to anything when i was an on benefits mum.
but they're legally entitled to claim whatever money they're getting so they can buy whatever they can afford and don't have to feel guilty about that."Yes I know.. It's a shame really. | |||
"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would. I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then? it's not a benefit for herself, that benefit is directly for the child and it's needs. I understand that. What I'm asking is, if she thinks you shouldn't have kids of she needs child benefits what she does with the child benefit which (by following her own logic) she doesn't even need. Personally I'd prefer my tax payer money to go to parents who need support to raise their children than those who don't " but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing. there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away. i suppose it's good to pick and choose what you'd like to happen with anything, and of course you should have a say in this stuff as well (although you'll need a lot of back up before the government will listen), just there's a lot more involved than expecting 'big brother' to take up the slack. do you honestly wanna see women go hungry because they cannot afford to feed themselves and their kids/ i've been there, it sucks so much. not just coz you can't eat but you're teaching your kids it's ok, as a parent, to go without because you cannot afford something necessary to survive. | |||
"I think you are fortunate to be in the postion where you can financially afford to go down the traditional stay at home mom route. I do wonder how many comments you receive have an element of jealousy to them When I was with my partner and had our daughter, it worked out that we were better off with her not going back to work then if she did. I'd be careful about saying someone is fortunate to be able to afford to stay home with the kids. Sometimes going back to work isn't financially viable. If she'd have gone back to work, once child care was factored in, we'd have been about £100 worse off then if she stayed home. 100% this. Frankly I am surprised at how many posts say staying at home is a luxury, or that people are lucky to be able to afford to live on one salary. Many mothers cannot afford to work as their pay would barely cover childcare costs." 1. Go to college and get free childcare then when your kids are older you will be qualified in someone useful and can contribute back 2. Take the 15 free hours (30 in some areas) | |||
| |||
| |||
"I think you are fortunate to be in the postion where you can financially afford to go down the traditional stay at home mom route. I do wonder how many comments you receive have an element of jealousy to them When I was with my partner and had our daughter, it worked out that we were better off with her not going back to work then if she did. I'd be careful about saying someone is fortunate to be able to afford to stay home with the kids. Sometimes going back to work isn't financially viable. If she'd have gone back to work, once child care was factored in, we'd have been about £100 worse off then if she stayed home. 100% this. Frankly I am surprised at how many posts say staying at home is a luxury, or that people are lucky to be able to afford to live on one salary. Many mothers cannot afford to work as their pay would barely cover childcare costs. 1. Go to college and get free childcare then when your kids are older you will be qualified in someone useful and can contribute back 2. Take the 15 free hours (30 in some areas) " unless you wanna do basic english and maths then college costs money. i'm learning online, using free courses, and then using PrtScr to 'take pics' of my exam results. it costs me nothing and i can do a 6 week course in several hours, they're easy enough to do. but when my kids were younger we didn't even have the money for the internet so i couldn't do this then either. society is basically money driven, and something needs to change here because we still haven't got anything in place where all people could have a better life and it wouldn't cost so much if things that improve society were more charitable and everyone had access to them. i'm very fortunate to have an excess of wealth at this time and acknowledge this but i also am realistic about what is achievable when you are poor because i've been there. | |||
"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing. there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away. i suppose it's good to pick and choose what you'd like to happen with anything, and of course you should have a say in this stuff as well (although you'll need a lot of back up before the government will listen), just there's a lot more involved than expecting 'big brother' to take up the slack. do you honestly wanna see women go hungry because they cannot afford to feed themselves and their kids/ i've been there, it sucks so much. not just coz you can't eat but you're teaching your kids it's ok, as a parent, to go without because you cannot afford something necessary to survive." I think child benefit should be universal. What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her. What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes. I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid. | |||
"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing. there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away. i suppose it's good to pick and choose what you'd like to happen with anything, and of course you should have a say in this stuff as well (although you'll need a lot of back up before the government will listen), just there's a lot more involved than expecting 'big brother' to take up the slack. do you honestly wanna see women go hungry because they cannot afford to feed themselves and their kids/ i've been there, it sucks so much. not just coz you can't eat but you're teaching your kids it's ok, as a parent, to go without because you cannot afford something necessary to survive. I think child benefit should be universal. What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her. What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes. I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid. " The beauty of a forum is everyone can have and share their own opinion
| |||
"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing. there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away. i suppose it's good to pick and choose what you'd like to happen with anything, and of course you should have a say in this stuff as well (although you'll need a lot of back up before the government will listen), just there's a lot more involved than expecting 'big brother' to take up the slack. do you honestly wanna see women go hungry because they cannot afford to feed themselves and their kids/ i've been there, it sucks so much. not just coz you can't eat but you're teaching your kids it's ok, as a parent, to go without because you cannot afford something necessary to survive. I think child benefit should be universal. What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her. What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes. I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid. " it's ok. i'm just soft about this stuff coz i've lived it and wouldn't wish what i've been through on anyone, kids don't seem to care much and adapt pretty well to poverty. which is part of the problem i think. nobody should ever have to do that. it's all good and well saying don't have kids if you don't want them but mostly everyone wants a family to love and care for. there are worse things to be, as a parent, than poor and dependent on others for money. | |||
"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing. there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away. i suppose it's good to pick and choose what you'd like to happen with anything, and of course you should have a say in this stuff as well (although you'll need a lot of back up before the government will listen), just there's a lot more involved than expecting 'big brother' to take up the slack. do you honestly wanna see women go hungry because they cannot afford to feed themselves and their kids/ i've been there, it sucks so much. not just coz you can't eat but you're teaching your kids it's ok, as a parent, to go without because you cannot afford something necessary to survive. I think child benefit should be universal. What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her. What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes. I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid. The beauty of a forum is everyone can have and share their own opinion
"Absolutely. No matter how cynical, prejudiced and hypocritical that opinion may be. And I wouldn't have it any other way | |||
"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing. there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away. i suppose it's good to pick and choose what you'd like to happen with anything, and of course you should have a say in this stuff as well (although you'll need a lot of back up before the government will listen), just there's a lot more involved than expecting 'big brother' to take up the slack. do you honestly wanna see women go hungry because they cannot afford to feed themselves and their kids/ i've been there, it sucks so much. not just coz you can't eat but you're teaching your kids it's ok, as a parent, to go without because you cannot afford something necessary to survive. I think child benefit should be universal. What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her. What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes. I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid. The beauty of a forum is everyone can have and share their own opinion
Absolutely. No matter how cynical, prejudiced and hypocritical that opinion may be.
And I wouldn't have it any other way" | |||
"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young.. The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better. There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young. And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad. Agree that there's no problem with a stay at home dad but there are biological and neurological differences between men and women that mean women are always more likely to be primary care givers and men are always more likely to be primary bread winners. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with a reversal of the roles since variation is a natural process. Actually... there have been multiple studies which largely debunk what you just said." I am with you re. moving away from traditional gender roles and reading such phrases as you quoted above make my skin crawl. However I will disagree with denying the biological reality of female reproduction. Pregnancy and especially breastfeeding introduce phenomenal hormonal (and subsequently psychological) changes! They are as monumental as puberty, albeit in a shorter period of time and reversible. Personally I felt the full force of primary maternal preoccupation, it is not something I anticipated as i was never broody, maternal, or raised to believe mothering was my call in life. Not every mother gets this of course, and for those that choose to bottle-feed this disposition can be curtailed. However if you let the hormones do their work, separating mums from babies in the early months is misery (for the mum, the baby mostly needs a reliable cuddle carer!). | |||
| |||
| |||
 but there are moments staying at home that i love. | |||
| |||
| |||
"I have 3 under 5." How do you have the energy for Fab? Well done girl | |||
