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Hi your through to.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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James at xyz, how can I help you?
Nothing more annoying than needing a customer service issue resolved and getting through to wee James, who's not really a James at all but in fact he's Jamal fae Bangalore, trying to sort it for you.
These guys are trained like robots fs, nae cultural or accent knowledge nor any empathy when dealing with sensitive matters.
What dafuq happend to good old fashioned UK call centers? Fs.
What's been your worst call center experience?
Mines is trying to add some extra luggage on to my holiday flight, 10 calls between South Africa and India and still can't get through to a customer service manager!
If I hadn't had, had my hole this morning I'd be raging fs.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The worse bit is when a call centre has been fu*k all help at all, but end the call with 'is there anything else I can help you with today?'
Well yes, actually. That thing I actually called you about in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The worse bit is when a call centre has been fu*k all help at all, but end the call with 'is there anything else I can help you with today?'
Well yes, actually. That thing I actually called you about in the first place. "
Welcome to my world. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wee James just got back to me and you'll never guess what, he's only sorted it all out and offered me a goodwill gesture tae boot, well there you go, pigs dae fly fs. 
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.  |
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"Wee James just got back to me and you'll never guess what, he's only sorted it all out and offered me a goodwill gesture tae boot, well there you go, pigs dae fly fs.
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due. "
He's obvs seen your post  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wee James just got back to me and you'll never guess what, he's only sorted it all out and offered me a goodwill gesture tae boot, well there you go, pigs dae fly fs.
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
He's obvs seen your post "
Lol, aye, the power of fab fs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"James at xyz, how can I help you?
Nothing more annoying than needing a customer service issue resolved and getting through to wee James, who's not really a James at all but in fact he's Jamal fae Bangalore, trying to sort it for you.
These guys are trained like robots fs, nae cultural or accent knowledge nor any empathy when dealing with sensitive matters.
What dafuq happend to good old fashioned UK call centers? Fs.
What's been your worst call center experience?
Mines is trying to add some extra luggage on to my holiday flight, 10 calls between South Africa and India and still can't get through to a customer service manager!
If I hadn't had, had my hole this morning I'd be raging fs.
"
When you stopped wanting to pay the price that it cost to maintain UK call centres, you got call centres in other parts of the world.
When you're prepared to pay more money for a product, you'll get call centres in the West again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due. "
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If our roles were reversed and you were the customer, how would you rate the customer service experience you've received"
That question makes call centre staff squirm |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"James at xyz, how can I help you?
Nothing more annoying than needing a customer service issue resolved and getting through to wee James, who's not really a James at all but in fact he's Jamal fae Bangalore, trying to sort it for you.
These guys are trained like robots fs, nae cultural or accent knowledge nor any empathy when dealing with sensitive matters.
What dafuq happend to good old fashioned UK call centers? Fs.
What's been your worst call center experience?
Mines is trying to add some extra luggage on to my holiday flight, 10 calls between South Africa and India and still can't get through to a customer service manager!
If I hadn't had, had my hole this morning I'd be raging fs.
When you stopped wanting to pay the price that it cost to maintain UK call centres, you got call centres in other parts of the world.
When you're prepared to pay more money for a product, you'll get call centres in the West again."
Product prices haven't changed for the better but companies profits have! which is bullshit they should make consumers aware before you buy a product if they have UK customer service or not. I certainly wouldny mind paying a bit extra for less of headache if needing aftercare. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head! "
Can I get naked cuddles plz  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
""If our roles were reversed and you were the customer, how would you rate the customer service experience you've received"
That question makes call centre staff squirm"
Good point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head!
Can I get naked cuddles plz "
Sure but bagsy im big spoon! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head!
Can I get naked cuddles plz
Sure but bagsy im big spoon! "
Rock, Paper, scissors you for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head!
Can I get naked cuddles plz
Sure but bagsy im big spoon!
Rock, Paper, scissors you for it. "
1..2..3.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head!
Can I get naked cuddles plz
Sure but bagsy im big spoon!
Rock, Paper, scissors you for it.
1..2..3.."
Scissors, what you have? Be honest now fs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My worst experience of call centres was working in one for a year. Worst year of my life! High street bank, virtually no training, ridiculous policies contradicting each other. Low pay, poor conditions, IT systems not fit for purpose. No wonder some customers got shitty, I don't blame them, it was/is a bloody awful service that they provide.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When some banks ask for your account details on the automated system they route you to an English or Indian call centre based on how much they value your custom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head!
Can I get naked cuddles plz
Sure but bagsy im big spoon!
Rock, Paper, scissors you for it.
1..2..3..
Scissors, what you have? Be honest now fs. "
Rock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi, you're through to James, an awesome forum thread legend. How can I help you?"
*hand up waving*
Ooooh oooh I know the answer to this question.
Smugface. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi, you're through to James, an awesome forum thread legend. How can I help you?
*hand up waving*
Ooooh oooh I know the answer to this question.
Smugface."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Isn't it "How can I assist you?" these days?"
Good morning/afternoon, you're through to ***** in Fraud Operations. How can I help you?
If they caught the word 'fraud' there was generally a moments silence... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head!
Can I get naked cuddles plz
Sure but bagsy im big spoon!
Rock, Paper, scissors you for it.
1..2..3..
Scissors, what you have? Be honest now fs.
Rock "
Just as well it's best out of three |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head!
Can I get naked cuddles plz
Sure but bagsy im big spoon!
Rock, Paper, scissors you for it.
1..2..3..
Scissors, what you have? Be honest now fs.
Rock
Just as well it's best out of three "
1...2...3.. |
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
Try Norwegian Airlines customer services if you really want to boil someone's head in piss... 
Flew from the states home. Bags didn't come. No agent on site spoke to them who advised you have to report to office at airport.
"Me, I'm in England. I've spoken to the airport there who advise both that all baggage is airlines problem and you don't have an office there. So can you just send me a claim for for the bags"
"Oh no sir, you have to speak to the representative at the airport you flew from to get a form"
Key feelings of wanting of "did you just listen to a fecking word I said" and wishing that the ability to straggle idiots down a phone line was an option as they transfer you to the automated service |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Being polite to people and keeping your cool even when cross, pays off, what a nice wee guy, thumbs up to Jamal and credit where it's due.
Its a bugbear of mine when people are rude to retail/customer service staff. They are doing their job in line with the policies they've been given. Well done m1cks and your cool head!
Can I get naked cuddles plz
Sure but bagsy im big spoon!
Rock, Paper, scissors you for it.
1..2..3..
Scissors, what you have? Be honest now fs.
Rock
Just as well it's best out of three
1...2...3.. "
your turn tae go first  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I work in a call centre. Ask me questions
Can I speak to your manager plz?
Yes. What can I do for you?
Whit freebies you goat?
Polo mints and a pen x"
Fs! Cutbacks eh.  |
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"The worse bit is when a call centre has been fu*k all help at all, but end the call with 'is there anything else I can help you with today?'
Well yes, actually. That thing I actually called you about in the first place.
Welcome to my world. "
Speak English/Jockspeak might be a start. Even Jawdees are "Say what?" sometimes |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I work in a call centre. Ask me questions
Can I speak to your manager plz?
Yes. What can I do for you?
Whit freebies you goat?
Polo mints and a pen x
I thought he was calling you a goat then!"
Ohhhhh bee-have  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
1...2...3.. your turn tae go first
Ok im good with taking it in turns
Paper!
Rock fs 
Best outta five intit? 
Cool. Still taking it in turns though  "
And go...
Paper. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
1...2...3.. your turn tae go first
Ok im good with taking it in turns
Paper!
Rock fs
Best outta five intit?
Cool. Still taking it in turns though
And go...
Paper. "
Scissors! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
1...2...3.. your turn tae go first
Ok im good with taking it in turns
Paper!
Rock fs
Best outta five intit?
Cool. Still taking it in turns though
And go...
Paper.
Scissors!"
Ffs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are you cheating?
No im just an rps pro 
Anchoooooooo, exscuse me, am allergic to bs
Scissors.
Rock now get in my bed my big spooning arms are ready "
Naw a don't spoon or fork wi cheats |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Know what embarrasses me as a call centre rep?
Saying good morning when it's afternoon and vice versa 
Jus answer the call like 'awrite pal sup?'
"Howdly doodly""
Or that |
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