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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???"
Bring you round with rough buggery. I'd tie you and gag you first and video myself doing that ass. |
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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???
Bring you round with rough buggery. I'd tie you and gag you first and video myself doing that ass."
No lube then?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???
Bring you round with rough buggery. I'd tie you and gag you first and video myself doing that ass.
No lube then? "
Lube ? Maybe
Rubber? Nah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Easy. Drag you naked onto the stairwell. Lock your apartment door, then leg it 
Not until I finish bumming him
Have you ever watched Pulp Fiction?  "
Yeh and scum and American history x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!? "
Well I am leaving with his watches, rings, wallet and TV.
After bumming him |
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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!? "
Think getting burgled is best option seeing some of these answers lol |
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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!?
Well I am leaving with his watches, rings, wallet and TV.
After bumming him "
My ass is feeling abused right now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!?
Well I am leaving with his watches, rings, wallet and TV.
After bumming him
My ass is feeling abused right now "
It's not like I rang around my mates to see who's free is it? I'm not harsh or anything  |
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Option 1) improvised defib....throw a toaster into the bath
Option 2) drag to basement walk around singing badly whilst screaming "it puts the lotion in the fucking basket"
Option 3) enter grand theft auto game mode shout "wasted" and walk out cleaning finger prints as i go
Dax |
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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"Option 1) improvised defib....throw a toaster into the bath
Option 2) drag to basement walk around singing badly whilst screaming "it puts the lotion in the fucking basket"
Option 3) enter grand theft auto game mode shout "wasted" and walk out cleaning finger prints as i go
Dax "
Jesus, 1 I think lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd check your vitals out, pop you in the recovery position and raid your biscuit barrel while the kettle boils 
Hobnobs ok?"
Perfect recovery biscuits. Not for you mind. After all, you're unconscious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What size TV have you got?
We need the important details before we decide what to do with you.  x
55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox"
Yeah I'm taxing that, after I ruin you for all other men |
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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"What size TV have you got?
We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x
55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox
Yeah I'm taxing that, after I ruin you for all other men "
Consider me ruined |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What size TV have you got?
We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x
55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox
Yeah I'm taxing that, after I ruin you for all other men
Consider me ruined "
You do realise if you come to while I'm there your sucking my dick clean after don't you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???"
Something similar happened to my neighbour before I moved to Wales, only she tripped over a toy at the top of the stairs and fell whilst holding her baby ...
I dashed round, and looked through the letterbox to see her in a heap on the floor clutching baby..
Had to get a neighbour to shoulder her front door.. I went in and took baby who was screaming and called an ambulance .. she broke a leg and some fingers and a couple of ribs..
Baby was fine, just in shock  |
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"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?
Yes you do actually
My alarm call usually brings you round
Not giving anything away I see  "
You mean by not saying about how good my mouth feels around your cock |
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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???
Something similar happened to my neighbour before I moved to Wales, only she tripped over a toy at the top of the stairs and fell whilst holding her baby ...
I dashed round, and looked through the letterbox to see her in a heap on the floor clutching baby..
Had to get a neighbour to shoulder her front door.. I went in and took baby who was screaming and called an ambulance .. she broke a leg and some fingers and a couple of ribs..
Baby was fine, just in shock "
Spoiler, but sad and heroic, well done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What size TV have you got?
We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x
55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox"
Hmmmmmmm, decisions, decisions.
 |
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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?
Yes you do actually
My alarm call usually brings you round
Not giving anything away I see
You mean by not saying about how good my mouth feels around your cock "
That's more like a wake up call |
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"Option 1) improvised defib....throw a toaster into the bath
Option 2) drag to basement walk around singing badly whilst screaming "it puts the lotion in the fucking basket"
Option 3) enter grand theft auto game mode shout "wasted" and walk out cleaning finger prints as i go
Dax
Jesus, 1 I think lol"
Unfortunately for me it would be just another day at work walking in and seeing some messed up injuries hence the slightly twisted sense of humour.....
Why are you talking? It puts the lotion in the basket, it doesnt talk |
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"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?
Yes you do actually
My alarm call usually brings you round
Not giving anything away I see
You mean by not saying about how good my mouth feels around your cock
That's more like a wake up call "
Woke you up |
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By *norkster OP Man
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"Option 1) improvised defib....throw a toaster into the bath
Option 2) drag to basement walk around singing badly whilst screaming "it puts the lotion in the fucking basket"
Option 3) enter grand theft auto game mode shout "wasted" and walk out cleaning finger prints as i go
Dax
Jesus, 1 I think lol
Unfortunately for me it would be just another day at work walking in and seeing some messed up injuries hence the slightly twisted sense of humour.....
Why are you talking? It puts the lotion in the basket, it doesnt talk "
Argggggg |
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