FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > social meets
social meets
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"Always prefer, and suggest, a social meet first. Must admit tho....either it is deemed not necessary by the lady/couple, or the social becomes much more.... but that's on their terms." I have known a social to be electric and before long clothes are getting thrown all over. I jist can't see you reaching that stage without verbal communication. I do like a good clothes throwing bit of play | |||
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"I have to have a social op. I have left afterward thinking I could have jumped in them. But always better to leave wanting than regretting. A social is always a great way to have safe fun. You might not be sexualy attracted, but you can still have a laugh. Socials are great. "I love socials and have made some great friends via meeting for a social . There might be no chemistry there but you can strike up a great friendship which can be better. | |||
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"I prefer a social first prior to any shenanigans, the flirting over a cuppa has to be done "Don't worry we are having coffee before I take you to bed  | |||
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"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo. Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac "My thoughts exactly. Loved it | |||
"I get both sides. However, the most sexually charged meets are those where she is blindfolded and doesn't see me til afterwards. Takes a lot of trust and lots of communication beforehand...but wow. And about as Fab as it gets. " Haha I'd do that to a guy but wouldn't trust someone to do it to me | |||
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"I prefer a social first prior to any shenanigans, the flirting over a cuppa has to be done
Don't worry we are having coffee before I take you to bed "Make it tea and I drag you up the stairs myself   | |||
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"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo. Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac "Haha it could happen! I'll take selfies if it does | |||
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"I prefer a social first prior to any shenanigans, the flirting over a cuppa has to be done
Don't worry we are having coffee before I take you to bed
Make it tea and I drag you up the stairs myself "You can have whatever you like in your cuppa | |||
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"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo. Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac
My thoughts exactly. Loved it "Providing inadvertent amusement everywhere I go | |||
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"I'm one of those 'social first' weirdos I'm afraid. It's not a date, it's a teasing out process for both sides. Plus I like tea "I think it is a great way. I've saw some cracking pics and conversation has flowed on here but died a death in person. You just can't tell | |||
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"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo. Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac
Haha it could happen! I'll take selfies if it does "I doubt it, isn't he dead lol?  | |||
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"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo. Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac
Haha it could happen! I'll take selfies if it does
I doubt it, isn't he dead lol? "Depends if you believe the thories or not. Haha | |||
"I'm one of those 'social first' weirdos I'm afraid. It's not a date, it's a teasing out process for both sides. Plus I like tea
I think it is a great way. I've saw some cracking pics and conversation has flowed on here but died a death in person. You just can't tell "I fully agree. I've only had one social on here and it went really well but I've known people in the past I've been super close with on line and that hasn't transferred into our first social interaction | |||
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"Social first... if it's good, I call it pre-foreplay "It is extended foreplay | |||
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"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here. If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night "What if you met thrm and they pissed you off within minutes? Surely you wouldn't still bump uglies? | |||
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"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here. If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night
What if you met thrm and they pissed you off within minutes? Surely you wouldn't still bump uglies?"I think you already knew the answer to that, but no we wouldn't. If we arrange to meet and for whatever reason they aren't floating the proverbial boat we'll walk away. | |||
"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here. If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night "Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game. Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me'  | |||
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"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here. If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night
Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.
Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me' "Think I'll be a bit clearer on this. We don't meet and jump straight into bed, we'll meet up, go for drinks etc or meet at a club. You're right the end of the night the idea is to end up doing the rudies. But meeting purely on a social level with no chance of things progressing is a better way of putting what we don't do. | |||
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"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here. If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night
Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.
Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me'
Think I'll be a bit clearer on this.
We don't meet and jump straight into bed, we'll meet up, go for drinks etc or meet at a club. You're right the end of the night the idea is to end up doing the rudies.
But meeting purely on a social level with no chance of things progressing is a better way of putting what we don't do. "Aah that is far more succinct! I've had loads of socials and a lot of the time sex is never on the cards. Some people are that shy that jusy having a coffee is more than enough for them | |||
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"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here. If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night
Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.
Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me'
Think I'll be a bit clearer on this.
We don't meet and jump straight into bed, we'll meet up, go for drinks etc or meet at a club. You're right the end of the night the idea is to end up doing the rudies.
But meeting purely on a social level with no chance of things progressing is a better way of putting what we don't do.
Aah that is far more succinct! I've had loads of socials and a lot of the time sex is never on the cards. Some people are that shy that jusy having a coffee is more than enough for them "It's pretty much down to the fact we get very little free time together, so if we arrange to meet then we're going for a reason. Clubs work perfect for us, Gives the chance for a drink first, if we don't get on the we go our separate ways. And it's got plenty of opportunities for bonking | |||
"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here. If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night
Did that once, never again but at least I was honest so told him I was happy to chat and have a drink but.....no sex.....know he was a little pissed off but he was a gent about it.
Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.
Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me' " | |||
"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here. If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night
Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.
Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me'
Think I'll be a bit clearer on this.
We don't meet and jump straight into bed, we'll meet up, go for drinks etc or meet at a club. You're right the end of the night the idea is to end up doing the rudies.
But meeting purely on a social level with no chance of things progressing is a better way of putting what we don't do. "No in that setting I can totally understand what you mean and why that would work for you | |||
"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird. " Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet? | |||
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"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird. Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet?" Well we swing to have sex with other people. Not "dates". | |||
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"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird. Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet? Well we swing to have sex with other people. Not "dates"." I guess ultimately it comes down to your objective and also your subjective opinion of what a 'social' is | |||
"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird. Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet? Well we swing to have sex with other people. Not "dates". I guess ultimately it comes down to your objective and also your subjective opinion of what a 'social' is "Seems on here to mean meeting for a coffee/ beer? Possibly even a meal. Am i wrong? | |||
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"I'll just say it this way. I've had good and bad meets, and I've had social meets first and meets straight into the play. I've NEVER had a bad experience with anyone I've had a social meet with first, but have had bad experiences with people that would have been avoided if a social had happened first. That's why, although not essential, I much prefer a social meet first.." Pretty accurate | |||
"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird. Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet? Well we swing to have sex with other people. Not "dates". I guess ultimately it comes down to your objective and also your subjective opinion of what a 'social' is
Seems on here to mean meeting for a coffee/ beer? Possibly even a meal. Am i wrong? "Can be anything I've done coffee , drinks; lunch, a meal. A walk, shopping trip, you name it | |||
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"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?" Depends on if you have selective reading skills | |||
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"I like to meet socially first. You obviously get to confirm any perceived attraction, but getting to know someone better and making a connection works far better for me than going in cold. I am attracted to more than just the appearance. The more I am attracted, the better the sexual potential in most cases. I consider myself reasonably attractive, but definitely not gorgeous and sending face pics can often get a no thanks, which is fine. I am not everyone's cup of tea, like most of us. But at least with a social it gives me a chance to let a woman be attracted to my intellect and humour, not just what she sees in a photo. For me a social means a better chance of chemistry." This for me too. | |||
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"I am all for them whether just a friendly coffee with someone you've struck up a rapper with or someone who has caught your eye and you want some neutral territory to see if there is a click outside of a white box. However I've not long since had a chat with another fab member who said they feel uncomfortable with socials as it feels too much like dating and that's not why they joined fab. This has kinda bugged my happy. I don't think you can form an accurate impression until you've met in person and that doesn't mean saying hi and dropping your knickers. Yes I have met and had sex on the first meet without a social but it hasn't been all that and invariably you don't see the person again . *this isn't a judgemental post in any way shape or form* Just intrigued to see how others view socials. I see them now almost as mandatory " I would go with my instinct on this one, some like socials others don't and you said you've don't without in the past, so I would say go with the flow, if it seems that's there's more to be said before those knickers drop then head on down to your local coffee shop. I like socials because you get to know the person face to face not through a screen, but sometimes a social just isn't needed | |||
"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?" Nope. I'm a good judge of character and I never bother with a social. I can tell from messaging and pics etc whether o want to meet for sex or not. I don't just fuck anybody and I do like a connection I'm just lucky that I don't need to sit through a coffee (or 6) to make my mind up. | |||
"Not really. I think you can kind of work out if you're gonna fuck each other or not by messaging and seeing pictures. I like a night out on meets followed by sex..but I'm not going to attend someones fucking interview. They should know if I'm for them after messaging swapping pics, reading my profile. I'm not going to sit there like it's an interview. If I'm not for you, you'd know that pretty quickly, equally, if she's not for me, I'd also know that pretty quickly too. "How can you expect someone to let you play "2 in the pink, 1 in the stink" if you won't have coffee with them first? Unfathomable! | |||
"Not really. I think you can kind of work out if you're gonna fuck each other or not by messaging and seeing pictures. I like a night out on meets followed by sex..but I'm not going to attend someones fucking interview. They should know if I'm for them after messaging swapping pics, reading my profile. I'm not going to sit there like it's an interview. If I'm not for you, you'd know that pretty quickly, equally, if she's not for me, I'd also know that pretty quickly too.
How can you expect someone to let you play "2 in the pink, 1 in the stink" if you won't have coffee with them first? Unfathomable! "
I know.
Outrageous! | |||
"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then? Nope. I'm a good judge of character and I never bother with a social. I can tell from messaging and pics etc whether o want to meet for sex or not. I don't just fuck anybody and I do like a connection I'm just lucky that I don't need to sit through a coffee (or 6) to make my mind up. "This ^^^ | |||
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"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?" I don't bother with socials either if the lass is happy to meet without one. By the time we meet though,more often than not we'll have been messaging back n forth for a week or two or sometimes even longer,and also have spoken on the phone at least once. I find by doing it this way then by the time we meet we both know enough about each other to feel fairly comfortable. Doing this n also going with my gut feeling hasn't let me down so far n I've yet to have any unwanted surprises upon meeting. Works for me anyway | |||
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"We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating. Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer..... Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time..." Spot on , and the only time we don't play is when the people we meet are either nothing like their pics , or they are rude , dirty , or arrogant | |||
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"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then? Nope. I'm a good judge of character and I never bother with a social. I can tell from messaging and pics etc whether o want to meet for sex or not. I don't just fuck anybody and I do like a connection I'm just lucky that I don't need to sit through a coffee (or 6) to make my mind up. "Agree... | |||
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"I do like a social, and often insist on one before any sexual shenanigans take place.., There has to be some chemistry on my part and fuck and go meets just aren't my thing " | |||
"We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating. Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer..... Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time... Spot on , and the only time we don't play is when the people we meet are either nothing like their pics , or they are rude , dirty , or arrogant "
If you were only closer...... xx | |||
"i didn't need social meets when i was meeting for sex. but the guys i were meeting for sex were doing it in a way that was unsatisfactory for me and i did feel a need for something more to keep me interested and keep me turned on, a social could do that for me. i need a lot of sex, got sick of having to constantly meet new guys to fulfil that need so just lost all interest now and looking elsewhere for what i want. even socials can lead to something shallow. " If you are meeting fuck and go's you won't get any satisfaction. If you want sex tp connect and have a chance of being satisfactory you have to know the person. Fuck and gos don't care if you enjoy it. You'd be better off finding 3/4 that you regularly play with who can satisfy and merge sex and social. | |||
"We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating. Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer..... Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time..." Perhaps there's a difference being in a couple. When I was previously we still met for socials because if they didn't match up in person we wouldn't play . However if they did or didn't it was irrelevant because we had each other. | |||
"Not really. I think you can kind of work out if you're gonna fuck each other or not by messaging and seeing pictures. I like a night out on meets followed by sex..but I'm not going to attend someones fucking interview. They should know if I'm for them after messaging swapping pics, reading my profile. I'm not going to sit there like it's an interview. If I'm not for you, you'd know that pretty quickly, equally, if she's not for me, I'd also know that pretty quickly too. "I've sat and chatted for weeks with numerous pics exchanged. Met up and the person doesn't look anything like their pics so was very glad it was a social first. Plus conversation didn't flow in person. It's easy to text on a screen. That doesn't translate into dialogue in person though. | |||
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"We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating. Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer..... Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time... Perhaps there's a difference being in a couple. When I was previously we still met for socials because if they didn't match up in person we wouldn't play . However if they did or didn't it was irrelevant because we had each other. " It's a totally different dynamic for couples. | |||
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"i didn't need social meets when i was meeting for sex. but the guys i were meeting for sex were doing it in a way that was unsatisfactory for me and i did feel a need for something more to keep me interested and keep me turned on, a social could do that for me. i need a lot of sex, got sick of having to constantly meet new guys to fulfil that need so just lost all interest now and looking elsewhere for what i want. even socials can lead to something shallow. If you are meeting fuck and go's you won't get any satisfaction. If you want sex tp connect and have a chance of being satisfactory you have to know the person. Fuck and gos don't care if you enjoy it. You'd be better off finding 3/4 that you regularly play with who can satisfy and merge sex and social. " fuck and go can be good if they're regular. the guy i was meeting for the longest was fuck and go and i enjoyed fucking him very often, shame he moved away with work and can't meet as often now. i don't need a connection, the social part did help a bit coz it changed my mindset from only looking to a fuck to becoming more mentally prepared for a fuck. just i was hoping for more regular sex with just a few guys, or even one guy if it was often enough. i've had that before and enjoyed it. cutting my losses now, not focusing on meeting randoms at all and all my regulars (apart from the one mentioned above) aren't regular enough so they're gone too. fantasy is a part of the enjoyment of sex. fantasising about fucking someone is good but it's not possible if they only contact you when they want a fuck AND you've no idea when that will be. | |||
"... fantasy is a part of the enjoyment of sex. fantasising about fucking someone is good but it's not possible if they only contact you when they want a fuck AND you've no idea when that will be." | |||
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"I'd meet just for a chat, coffee n cake, doesn't need to be sexual, could end up being a real friend who you can bounce all your thoughts off. Then eat more cake, or shenanigans or cake and shenanigans..." all this bouncing talk is making me aroused | |||
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