I should be reading less crime... but just wondered how other handle the whole security question when arranging a meet, I guess especially single ladies. Do you always arrange a social first? Meet at a public place? Let someone know that/who/where you are meeting? |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
I have one close friend who knows I have a profile on here. Social meet first in a public place. I'll tell that friend where I am and text her when I've met and feel comfortable and again when I'm home. It's a bit of a responsibility for her but I feel more comfortable.  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Started to respond and got distracted...
...think we individually (regardless of gender) have to take whatever steps we think necessary to safeguard ourselves when meeting, for me that would be ensuring someone was aware both who and where I was meeting as a minimum. I know some people take extra steps like calling/texting a friend immediately before, sometimes during, and after a meet to let them know all is ok.
I'd certainly not have a problem with anyone wanting to do that, in fact would be happy for my details to be passed on, with a certain amount of discretion, if a meet wanted to do so.
Some people will insist on a social first, not only to see if there's a connection to be taken into subsequent play meets, but also to get a level of feel for security and safety too.  |
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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago
somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen |
"I think i have to work on my system... but sharing with a friend when and if I have a meet can be a bit ... akward?"
If you don't have a friend you can tell about fab, you could say it's a regular date you're going on? Say you've signed up to a dating site? They're not to know what's actually going on while you're there? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"oh the friend I am thinking about knows I am on here... but to let him know every time I have sex?  I'll ask him he he"
He doesn't need to know the details though..could just be a social as far as he's concerned, although do see the dilemma  |
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"looks like i the only one thinking about it tonight 
Every lady that I've ever met has always turned up with a condom on their head  "
damn, my brain doesn't seem to be working... why didn't i think about that??? clearly the only sensible option... I am forever grateful for your wise post... 
... now you have me picturing you in a caffee with a lady who has a condom over her head  |
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"oh the friend I am thinking about knows I am on here... but to let him know every time I have sex? I'll ask him he he
He doesn't need to know the details though..could just be a social as far as he's concerned, although do see the dilemma "
he knows me and wouldn't believe me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh the friend I am thinking about knows I am on here... but to let him know every time I have sex? I'll ask him he he
He doesn't need to know the details though..could just be a social as far as he's concerned, although do see the dilemma
he knows me and wouldn't believe me "
Easy answer is don't meet anyone else and just keep meeting me, I can guarantee your safety  |
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Even as a couple meeting another couple we want to be as sure as possible that we aren't going to feel uncomfortable for any reason. So we always have a social meet first and make sure we are going to get on. Got that wrong once and it almost put us off completely! Only realised too late that the male was a wannabe cult-leader |
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"Even as a couple meeting another couple we want to be as sure as possible that we aren't going to feel uncomfortable for any reason. So we always have a social meet first and make sure we are going to get on. Got that wrong once and it almost put us off completely! Only realised too late that the male was a wannabe cult-leader"
ups now that made an interesting meet I am sure |
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"oh the friend I am thinking about knows I am on here... but to let him know every time I have sex? I'll ask him he he
He doesn't need to know the details though..could just be a social as far as he's concerned, although do see the dilemma
he knows me and wouldn't believe me
Easy answer is don't meet anyone else and just keep meeting me, I can guarantee your safety "
smooth... but then who could resist you anyway  |
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"Even as a couple meeting another couple we want to be as sure as possible that we aren't going to feel uncomfortable for any reason. So we always have a social meet first and make sure we are going to get on. Got that wrong once and it almost put us off completely! Only realised too late that the male was a wannabe cult-leader
ups now that made an interesting meet I am sure "
Interesting? Yes! In someone else's house, unclothed, he starts drinking wine through a straw, and asks if we are OK if he smokes some hashish. WTF! How did we get into this? Suddenly realised we had nothing in common and felt very sorry for the fem |
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"looks like i the only one thinking about it tonight
Every lady that I've ever met has always turned up with a condom on their head
damn, my brain doesn't seem to be working... why didn't i think about that??? clearly the only sensible option... I am forever grateful for your wise post...
... now you have me picturing you in a caffee with a lady who has a condom over her head "
She's usually called Miss Durex (missed your ex) |
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"looks like i the only one thinking about it tonight
Every lady that I've ever met has always turned up with a condom on their head
damn, my brain doesn't seem to be working... why didn't i think about that??? clearly the only sensible option... I am forever grateful for your wise post...
... now you have me picturing you in a caffee with a lady who has a condom over her head
She's usually called Miss Durex (missed your ex) "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tell my mum, she expects me home in 30 mins. If I'm not I'm grounded anyway.
Seriously, I've not actually ever felt unsafe to warrent to take set up a safety precaution as such. Maybe I'm too trusting. I don't know? |
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It's also worth not posting what all of your personal precautions are. I sometimes deliberately have ensured people are filmed by cctv.
Some take note of car registration info and pass it to friends too.
Using friends variously is wise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's also worth not posting what all of your personal precautions are. I sometimes deliberately have ensured people are filmed by cctv.
"
You meet in Debenhams? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a friend on here I tell, always meet for a social first in a public place, always get a phone number so there is a trace of who I was in contact with on my phone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you get a friend to text you don't just say you're ok, agree a totally random codeword beforehand. Like Tangerine or unicycle.
If the person has turned nasty and makes you reply that everything is fine they won't know about your safe codeword and your friend will know you're really not ok.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tell my mum, she expects me home in 30 mins. If I'm not I'm grounded anyway.
Seriously, I've not actually ever felt unsafe to warrent to take set up a safety precaution as such. Maybe I'm too trusting. I don't know? "
Men are at risk too. There have been stories of men going to meet a woman but finding a gang of men there instead.
Rare..... but it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think i have to work on my system... but sharing with a friend when and if I have a meet can be a bit ... akward?"
Could be a fab friend rather than a day to day one ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's also worth not posting what all of your personal precautions are. I sometimes deliberately have ensured people are filmed by cctv.
You meet in Debenhams? "
I hear their Lighting section is in Time Out's Top 5 places to date for the security conscious. |
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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago
streatham |
I have had many first meets where I just went straight to a man's house or him to mine..eek
Once or twice I have the address to a friend..
Never had any issues, always been good.
I would like to think that my filtering skills are good and I can suss out weirdos well, but maybe I've just been lucky..?-)
I just think even with a social meet first, there is no guarantee this person won't "turn" once in private.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's also worth not posting what all of your personal precautions are. I sometimes deliberately have ensured people are filmed by cctv.
You meet in Debenhams?
I hear their Lighting section is in Time Out's Top 5 places to date for the security conscious."
But turn the lights down for the body conscious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tell my mum, she expects me home in 30 mins. If I'm not I'm grounded anyway.
Seriously, I've not actually ever felt unsafe to warrent to take set up a safety precaution as such. Maybe I'm too trusting. I don't know?
Men are at risk too. There have been stories of men going to meet a woman but finding a gang of men there instead.
Rare..... but it happens."
I understand that. But the people I've met, I've never felt any reason to feel unsafe. If I ever did, I dont think I could meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of these tips on safety are slightly OTT
When meeting people off the internet nothing is OTT. Sadly, these days, you have to be on your guard in any situation."
Well said! I've heard some horrendous stories from women on here when they have met with someone. Even the regulars you have to be careful with. Anyone can turn at any point.  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of these tips on safety are slightly OTT "
I don't think they are. I don't always have a social first, so making sure someone knows where I'm going and the address is really important... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was part of a couple I always felt safe as you knew the person with you had your back. As a single, social first somewhere very public and I tend to do daytime too. I have a friend here that I text or call too so she knows where I am. We do the same for each other.
My friends on normal dating sites do this too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I used to meet alone, I always trusted my instincts, it's possible to read a person very well via written communication if one knows how. Generally, but not always, I would meet socially first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always let my friend know and he texts or calls, no reply from me and he turns up, he lives very close.
I usually chat for a while before agreeing to meet though and feel I can usually judge someone in that time. I don't usually do socials, I invite them to my house and have always felt safe with the men I've met so far
I think my friends worry about it more than I do, I guess meeting anyone can be risky. I wouldn't just chat to someone briefly and invite them to my house tho. I like to have a connection before I shag them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of these tips on safety are slightly OTT
Nothing to do with anyone's safety is OTT and its more worrying when a male thinks that tbh! "
maybe you think to much and I was meaning someone noting people's number plate now that is weird. Now that does happen in the doggin game lol ever tried that have you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met many ladies with out even a social first .A lot of women like spontaneous and it also depends on each individual Its very subjective ie confidence self belief..PMA |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of these tips on safety are slightly OTT
Nothing to do with anyone's safety is OTT and its more worrying when a male thinks that tbh! maybe you think to much and I was meaning someone noting people's number plate now that is weird. Now that does happen in the doggin game lol ever tried that have you "
oh someone mentioned CCTV...JEESE. Think They watch to much C.S.I
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of these tips on safety are slightly OTT
Nothing to do with anyone's safety is OTT and its more worrying when a male thinks that tbh! maybe you think to much and I was meaning someone noting people's number plate now that is weird. Now that does happen in the doggin game lol ever tried that have you "
My family are all police so I know about far too many things that can and have happened to people so I am always going to protect myself to the best of mu abilties and if I am getting into a car with someone even if its on a date I take note of the reg, colour and make.
I am confident in all my meets but I am also not naive enough to think being confident will save me from some nut bag who wants to attack people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of these tips on safety are slightly OTT
Nothing to do with anyone's safety is OTT and its more worrying when a male thinks that tbh! maybe you think to much and I was meaning someone noting people's number plate now that is weird. Now that does happen in the doggin game lol ever tried that have you oh someone mentioned CCTV...JEESE. Think They watch to much C.S.I
"
Cctv actually works, a girl who met a date for a hook up at a hotel 2 christmas's ago was murdered, they were able to ascertain from the cctv that both of them arrived in the hotel but that she never left, she was later found wrapped in a hotel sheet dumped in the grounds.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I think a lot of these tips on safety are slightly OTT
Nothing to do with anyone's safety is OTT and its more worrying when a male thinks that tbh! maybe you think to much and I was meaning someone noting people's number plate now that is weird. Now that does happen in the doggin game lol ever tried that have you "
How is it weird to note the number plate of the car belonging to what is effectively a complete stranger whose car you might be about to get in? I'd say it was common sense if it was something you felt necessary to safeguard yourself, not something to be trivialised or ridiculed.
As I said up thread we each should take whatever steps we individually feel necessary to ensure we're safe. Now some will take more steps than others, but I certainly would have no issue with providing reasonable additional information to a potential meet if it helped them feel more secure.
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Being part of a couple I feel slightly safer but we learned the hard way that a social with two perfectly nice, normal people in a pub is absolutely no guarantee that they won't turn in to weirdos when you get to their home.
No safety precaution that anyone takes, especially singles (men too) is over the top. Suggesting that its unnecessary is dangerously naive.
I like the buddy system that's suggested on here occasionally where singles look out for each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As fantastic as this site is it can also be very dangerous and not just for single females! It's a great idea to share tips and give each other advice. As a newbie to being single on here I need it. Thanks guys x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a guy who only meets single ladies I never really consider my safety as such.
Maybe I should, never know when the next one may decide to tie me up and abuse me.... although... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a guy who only meets single ladies I never really consider my safety as such.
Maybe I should, never know when the next one may decide to tie me up and abuse me.... although... "
I do worry about a woman though. And I'm somewhat quite humbled in a way that they do trust me enough to meet me. If that makes sense? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a guy who only meets single ladies I never really consider my safety as such.
Maybe I should, never know when the next one may decide to tie me up and abuse me.... although...
I do worry about a woman though. And I'm somewhat quite humbled in a way that they do trust me enough to meet me. If that makes sense? "
Yeah I know what you mean, I actually had someone say they thought I was initially a bit meek on a first meet the other day but they soon realised it was because I just wanted to make sure they were happy and comfortable with me.
Might sound strange but I always think if I had a daughter or a sister how would I want her to be treated. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"As a guy who only meets single ladies I never really consider my safety as such.
Maybe I should, never know when the next one may decide to tie me up and abuse me.... although...
I do worry about a woman though. And I'm somewhat quite humbled in a way that they do trust me enough to meet me. If that makes sense?
Yeah I know what you mean, I actually had someone say they thought I was initially a bit meek on a first meet the other day but they soon realised it was because I just wanted to make sure they were happy and comfortable with me.
Might sound strange but I always think if I had a daughter or a sister how would I want her to be treated."
That's exactly it!! Which is why I'd never have any problem with anyone I was meeting asking for information that made them feel more secure, in fact would offer to provide it without being asked to be honest. Would also hope that anyone meeting my partner would adopt the same view. |
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I have always felt comfortable and save with all my meets so far and have not had any issues. but I think i have been very trusting and propably lucky.
but I think you can not rely on it, especially as I don't tend to do socials, most I do is meet up at the hotel bar for a chat and a drink before heading to the room...
I think the buddy system sounds great- and definitely worth doing. |
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When i was single on here,I always met in public for a social first.No way i'd invite a stranger to mine straight away.
Plus its much easier to say no thanks ,in a public place if theres no attraction etc.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can folks remember the guy in Scotland that went to a couples farmhouse for a threesome,n ended up running away stark naked in the middle of nowhere because the male half of the couple sprayed bear repellent in his face because he (the single guy) didn't want his picture taken!!!!
Aye.....take care folks!
Safety precautions aren't OTT at all......they're the bear necessities! |
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