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Swinging: A last resort to try and save your relationship?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think maybe this is a bit ambitious for one post lol, there's going to be some lengthy replies  "
Lol I think alot will side step it as its a bit too close to home for some ?  |
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"Think maybe this is a bit ambitious for one post lol, there's going to be some lengthy replies
Lol I think alot will side step it as its a bit too close to home for some ? "
It'd take a bloody miracle to save my relationship, I know it's Easter but to be honest I'd rather the miracle be put to better use lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, starting swinging wasn't to save our relationship, it was to add to it. And I think if there are cracks in a relationship joining the scene wouldn't help, it would make things worse. You really have to be open and able to communicate if you're doing this. Just my two pen'orth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If swinging is your last resort to save your relationship then I think your relationship is already over.
Swinging as a couple (married/long term relationship) takes a strong relationship to start with, not a damaged one. It will end it |
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If it's got as far as last resort probably not going help if you want to save ghetto relationship a councillor may be better option!
Marriage/relationship stale?...
Stale but solid- yes could to inject a little bit of excitement to rekindle things
scared if you don't they will cheat?...if you are scared probability of jealously I would think high so again not a good thing for swinging
Pressured into it by your partner? Big no no... you should both at least understand what it's about and want to try it willingly
Be it married or just in a relationship it has to be solid
The foundation needs to be there first so you can communicate openly and honestly about wants/desires/thoughts. Feelings afterwards/did it go as you thought/were there things you want to change.
But that's just my view.
Sure others will agree or disagree
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my opion no. My reason for this is simple: Swinging requires you to have rules and to stick by them. If you can't stick to the sacred oath of your marriage then how are you ever going to stick to the rules of swinging?
The only exception to this might be if both partners enjoy swinging so much that they are prepared to change their ways to keep it going. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my opion no. My reason for this is simple: Swinging requires you to have rules and to stick by them. If you can't stick to the sacred oath of your marriage then how are you ever going to stick to the rules of swinging?
The only exception to this might be if both partners enjoy swinging so much that they are prepared to change their ways to keep it going."
Do you mean only people who don't take their sacred oath of marriage seriously swing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my opion no. My reason for this is simple: Swinging requires you to have rules and to stick by them. If you can't stick to the sacred oath of your marriage then how are you ever going to stick to the rules of swinging?
The only exception to this might be if both partners enjoy swinging so much that they are prepared to change their ways to keep it going.
Do you mean only people who don't take their sacred oath of marriage seriously swing? "
Certainly not. I'm saying that if they stuck to their marriage vows their marriage might not be in trouble. You mentioned cheating etc....
I know a couple who started swinging to try and stop the husband cheating. The husband still cheats but now in addition to the cheating he privately messages the lady of couples he has met to try and arrange a meet behind his wife's back.
Swinging to sort out marriage problems is like putting a plaster on your elbow for the cut on your hand. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my opion no. My reason for this is simple: Swinging requires you to have rules and to stick by them. If you can't stick to the sacred oath of your marriage then how are you ever going to stick to the rules of swinging?
The only exception to this might be if both partners enjoy swinging so much that they are prepared to change their ways to keep it going.
Do you mean only people who don't take their sacred oath of marriage seriously swing?
Certainly not. I'm saying that if they stuck to their marriage vows their marriage might not be in trouble. You mentioned cheating etc....
I know a couple who started swinging to try and stop the husband cheating. The husband still cheats but now in addition to the cheating he privately messages the lady of couples he has met to try and arrange a meet behind his wife's back.
Swinging to sort out marriage problems is like putting a plaster on your elbow for the cut on your hand."
Ah yes got ya  |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Ok but what if your marital issue is sex (and it often is, or money, or balance of power).
If you both agreed to have sex outside of marriage. Would this be enough to keep a couple together.
I dunno... just pondering |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it is, as this way, they could keep their partner in check.
Partner in check? In what way do you mean Shag ?"
Like a chess game you know, instead of going behind their back with the queen, it is a more acceptable form of meeting other women/men, even tho they might not like it, at least they are together on the idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If swinging is your last resort to save your relationship then I think your relationship is already over.
Swinging as a couple (married/long term relationship) takes a strong relationship to start with, not a damaged one. It will end it "
Absolutely agree , swining as a couple requires openness and trust and a very strong bond , any thing else and it's doomed |
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"If swinging is your last resort to save your relationship then I think your relationship is already over.
Swinging as a couple (married/long term relationship) takes a strong relationship to start with, not a damaged one. It will end it "
100% agree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes it is, as this way, they could keep their partner in check.
Partner in check? In what way do you mean Shag ?Like a chess game you know, instead of going behind their back with the queen, it is a more acceptable form of meeting other women/men, even tho they might not like it, at least they are together on the idea."
Ah so in otherwords theyd rather swing so they can keep tabs on their partner ? To hope stop the possibilty of them cheating ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it is, as this way, they could keep their partner in check.
Partner in check? In what way do you mean Shag ?Like a chess game you know, instead of going behind their back with the queen, it is a more acceptable form of meeting other women/men, even tho they might not like it, at least they are together on the idea.
Ah so in otherwords theyd rather swing so they can keep tabs on their partner ? To hope stop the possibilty of them cheating ?"
That is right, to keep tabs on them as there are lots of temptations everywhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok but what if your marital issue is sex (and it often is, or money, or balance of power).
If you both agreed to have sex outside of marriage. Would this be enough to keep a couple together.
I dunno... just pondering "
I agree with you in the case of something like sexual surrogacy. In the case where one partner has a low sex drive or is unable to have sex it might save a marriage. It would take a lot of love. |
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Not for us,we met here and wanted to carry on swinging.For some it may be that one will do it ,not because they want to ,but because their partner wants to.
I think unless you are both into it,its not going to end well ,it wouldnt necessarily prevent cheating as some would regardless.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not for us, we started swinging as a way of exploring our fantasies and liked it so have carried on. But yes agree with others that you both have to want the same things and be very open with each other. As for other people's reasons, I wouldn't presume to judge as don't know what goes on behind closed doors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need trust to be there before you bring anyone else into the relationship. If its not the issues you have will only be magnified.
That's my 2cents worth anyway
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect."
If only you was a Level 1 |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Ok but what if your marital issue is sex (and it often is, or money, or balance of power).
If you both agreed to have sex outside of marriage. Would this be enough to keep a couple together.
I dunno... just pondering "
It has been for some couples I know. All would have remained together anyway but agreeing to add extramarital sex meant they aren't feeling (as) sexually frustrated.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If swinging is your last resort to save your relationship then I think your relationship is already over.
Swinging as a couple (married/long term relationship) takes a strong relationship to start with, not a damaged one. It will end it "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?"
I have seen it break a few up who thought it was a great move |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it is, as this way, they could keep their partner in check.
Partner in check? In what way do you mean Shag ?Like a chess game you know, instead of going behind their back with the queen, it is a more acceptable form of meeting other women/men, even tho they might not like it, at least they are together on the idea."
Ah but alot of so called couples on here go behind their partners back. Bit like having your cake, eating it and shagging the baker and waitress. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?"
i think if the marriage or relationship is strong to start with then swinging can only enhance it, but it things are a bit rocky then no amount of extra sex is going to fix it...in fact it will probably make it worse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone is "cheating" it's because they're looking for something their relationship cannot provide ....could be sexual fulfilment , confidence, relief, love, security, emotional elevation ..... anything. Swinging isn't cheating it's something you do to pleasure each other so the relationship must be strong to begin with. I know someone who always says he wishes his wife was into it but I know for a fact he'd implode if she was! He's incredibly insecure (hence him always cheating) and it's like a reassurance for
Him. So I don't agree that swinging can help a damaged/fragile relationship. In my opinion it only works when it's done by a couple who are solid and do it for each other as well as themselves |
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Been together 20 years and swinging 10, if this is a last ditch effort it's a long one
Have met several couples where it didn't seem both were into the scene and one was blatantly pushing the other (equally male and females) so maybe for some it is.
For us its a way to go our, where we both have fun share our enjoyment and socialise.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is "cheating" it's because they're looking for something their relationship cannot provide ....could be sexual fulfilment , confidence, relief, love, security, emotional elevation ..... anything. Swinging isn't cheating it's something you do to pleasure each other so the relationship must be strong to begin with. I know someone who always says he wishes his wife was into it but I know for a fact he'd implode if she was! He's incredibly insecure (hence him always cheating) and it's like a reassurance for
Him. So I don't agree that swinging can help a damaged/fragile relationship. In my opinion it only works when it's done by a couple who are solid and do it for each other as well as themselves "
Well said,so true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dabbled with it 20 years ago with my boyfriend at the time. Didn't know what swinging was back then, but he pushed me into us inviting men to join us. It was an unhappy relationship and I think he was trying to save it, amongst other things. I enjoyed it and it was escapism, but I didn't enjoy doing it with my boyfriend. It was not a good memory and at 22 I was way too young. My husband and his first wife were swingers and they broke up. So until a few years ago I believed it was a very wrong thing to do, and that temptations should be fought against. The reality is that in a good relationship I feel I can be the real me .
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect.
If only you was a Level 1 "
What's a level 1..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is "cheating" it's because they're looking for something their relationship cannot provide ....could be sexual fulfilment , confidence, relief, love, security, emotional elevation ..... anything. Swinging isn't cheating it's something you do to pleasure each other so the relationship must be strong to begin with. I know someone who always says he wishes his wife was into it but I know for a fact he'd implode if she was! He's incredibly insecure (hence him always cheating) and it's like a reassurance for
Him. So I don't agree that swinging can help a damaged/fragile relationship. In my opinion it only works when it's done by a couple who are solid and do it for each other as well as themselves "
I would never cheat. But part of what we do is not swinging. Years ago, I gave my husband permission to cheat. Not because I thought he would, but because the statistics of men cheating appalled me, and I didn't want that to happen to me. So if I gave him permission so that gave me some control. He didn't take me up on the offer at the time. I have no issue with him pursuing sexual relationships that give him something that I don't give him. But it's not swinging because I'm not involved. That's my choice. By contrast he is involved in all my relationships even if he's not present. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dabbled with it 20 years ago with my boyfriend at the time. Didn't know what swinging was back then, but he pushed me into us inviting men to join us. It was an unhappy relationship and I think he was trying to save it, amongst other things. I enjoyed it and it was escapism, but I didn't enjoy doing it with my boyfriend. It was not a good memory and at 22 I was way too young. My husband and his first wife were swingers and they broke up. So until a few years ago I believed it was a very wrong thing to do, and that temptations should be fought against. The reality is that in a good relationship I feel I can be the real me .
Mrs"
I get the feeling that ideally youd rather be in a monogamous relationship and not have to share and just be exclusive to one and another ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect.
If only you was a Level 1
What's a level 1.. "
Look up the ... As a couple part 2 thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As was said previously, not many will admit to this...but I've seen a few couples, ending in disaster. And I've only been here 3 years.
Maybe it works for the enlightened few, but I think it's a very low percentage. Majority are making a last ditch attempt.
As for couples that met on here? Maybe that's a different story? The jury is still out on that one, lol. |
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" As was said previously, not many will admit to this...but I've seen a few couples, ending in disaster. And I've only been here 3 years.
Maybe it works for the enlightened few, but I think it's a very low percentage. Majority are making a last ditch attempt.
As for couples that met on here? Maybe that's a different story? The jury is still out on that one, lol. "
Sorry, but that is nonsense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dabbled with it 20 years ago with my boyfriend at the time. Didn't know what swinging was back then, but he pushed me into us inviting men to join us. It was an unhappy relationship and I think he was trying to save it, amongst other things. I enjoyed it and it was escapism, but I didn't enjoy doing it with my boyfriend. It was not a good memory and at 22 I was way too young. My husband and his first wife were swingers and they broke up. So until a few years ago I believed it was a very wrong thing to do, and that temptations should be fought against. The reality is that in a good relationship I feel I can be the real me .
Mrs
I get the feeling that ideally youd rather be in a monogamous relationship and not have to share and just be exclusive to one and another ? "
No way. I could never go back to monogamy now. It seems totally unnatural now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dabbled with it 20 years ago with my boyfriend at the time. Didn't know what swinging was back then, but he pushed me into us inviting men to join us. It was an unhappy relationship and I think he was trying to save it, amongst other things. I enjoyed it and it was escapism, but I didn't enjoy doing it with my boyfriend. It was not a good memory and at 22 I was way too young. My husband and his first wife were swingers and they broke up. So until a few years ago I believed it was a very wrong thing to do, and that temptations should be fought against. The reality is that in a good relationship I feel I can be the real me .
Mrs
I get the feeling that ideally youd rather be in a monogamous relationship and not have to share and just be exclusive to one and another ?
No way. I could never go back to monogamy now. It seems totally unnatural now."
Mmmmm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect.
If only you was a Level 1
What's a level 1..
Look up the ... As a couple part 2 thread "
Really, I cba too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect.
If only you was a Level 1
What's a level 1..
Look up the ... As a couple part 2 thread
Really, I cba too "
Bless ya |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" As was said previously, not many will admit to this...but I've seen a few couples, ending in disaster. And I've only been here 3 years.
Maybe it works for the enlightened few, but I think it's a very low percentage. Majority are making a last ditch attempt.
As for couples that met on here? Maybe that's a different story? The jury is still out on that one, lol.
Sorry, but that is nonsense."
Only saying what I've observed, it may be nonsense, who am I too say? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect.
If only you was a Level 1
What's a level 1..
Look up the ... As a couple part 2 thread
Really, I cba too
Bless ya "
A level 1 is GF material... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect.
If only you was a Level 1
What's a level 1..
Look up the ... As a couple part 2 thread
Really, I cba too
Bless ya
A level 1 is GF material..."
Ahh so you could be arsed in the end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect.
If only you was a Level 1
What's a level 1..
Look up the ... As a couple part 2 thread
Really, I cba too
Bless ya
A level 1 is GF material...
Ahh so you could be arsed in the end "
Yeah, you knew I would.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As if anyone's going to admit it on here
Of course there are couples that swing for the reasons you've mentioned, I've seen enough threads over the years to that affect.
If only you was a Level 1
What's a level 1..
Look up the ... As a couple part 2 thread
Really, I cba too
Bless ya
A level 1 is GF material...
Ahh so you could be arsed in the end
Yeah, you knew I would.... "
|
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"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?"
No couple would admit this on here, even if this was happening or the reason for. I am not the only poster to say this, before any couples out there get the hump. It is obvious at parties a fair few couples where one partner is reluctant. We met on here and were both active but since our relationship has developed, we are swinging less as we have more different things to do together and want to spend more time together, so if anything it has been the reverse for us .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?
No couple would admit this on here, even if this was happening or the reason for. I am not the only poster to say this, before any couples out there get the hump. It is obvious at parties a fair few couples where one partner is reluctant. We met on here and were both active but since our relationship has developed, we are swinging less as we have more different things to do together and want to spend more time together, so if anything it has been the reverse for us ...."
I like your honest viewpoint |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?
No couple would admit this on here, even if this was happening or the reason for. I am not the only poster to say this, before any couples out there get the hump. It is obvious at parties a fair few couples where one partner is reluctant. We met on here and were both active but since our relationship has developed, we are swinging less as we have more different things to do together and want to spend more time together, so if anything it has been the reverse for us ...."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?
No couple would admit this on here, even if this was happening or the reason for. I am not the only poster to say this, before any couples out there get the hump. It is obvious at parties a fair few couples where one partner is reluctant. We met on here and were both active but since our relationship has developed, we are swinging less as we have more different things to do together and want to spend more time together, so if anything it has been the reverse for us ....
"
I can understand that |
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"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?
No couple would admit this on here, even if this was happening or the reason for. I am not the only poster to say this, before any couples out there get the hump. It is obvious at parties a fair few couples where one partner is reluctant. We met on here and were both active but since our relationship has developed, we are swinging less as we have more different things to do together and want to spend more time together, so if anything it has been the reverse for us ....
I can understand that "
Saying that though, we both have our single accounts and talk with other people, my OH likes the thrill of people thinking I don't know about any single meets he has .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok but what if your marital issue is sex (and it often is, or money, or balance of power).
If you both agreed to have sex outside of marriage. Would this be enough to keep a couple together.
I dunno... just pondering "
I wondered if this arrangement would work. Sexless marriage. They don't fuck each other but are free to fuck other people. Sign me up. |
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"Ok but what if your marital issue is sex (and it often is, or money, or balance of power).
If you both agreed to have sex outside of marriage. Would this be enough to keep a couple together.
I dunno... just pondering
I wondered if this arrangement would work. Sexless marriage. They don't fuck each other but are free to fuck other people. Sign me up. "
Isn't that called friendship? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?"
I am sure there is someone about who has, not many would probably admit it but over the years people have mentioned it happening to them on the forum ( although most ask for it to be deleted not long after )
Could be
Could be
Yes I have seen that on the forum too.
A bad idea
Only know of the people who mentioned it on the forum
Don't know as no follow up
See above
See above
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up"
I am wary of asking you a question as it seems to upset you but does that mean your relationship is not strong as you both swing? |
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"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up
I am wary of asking you a question as it seems to upset you but does that mean your relationship is not strong as you both swing?"
No it doesn't upset me in any way. I think many couples take it personally when I suggest anything could be wrong with their marriage. I have answered this before. We rarely do swing ... and we came together on here, so the swinging is really historical, a habit and one which was an element at the start of our relationship. I was talking about relationships where it has come after a few years, rather than the other way around. And the comment is also based on what I see and hear at clubs and parties .... |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up
I am wary of asking you a question as it seems to upset you but does that mean your relationship is not strong as you both swing?
No it doesn't upset me in any way. I think many couples take it personally when I suggest anything could be wrong with their marriage. I have answered this before. We rarely do swing ... and we came together on here, so the swinging is really historical, a habit and one which was an element at the start of our relationship. I was talking about relationships where it has come after a few years, rather than the other way around. And the comment is also based on what I see and hear at clubs and parties .... "
So do you think because you have seen some couples in clubs that one of them are obviously being pushed into doing something they don't want to ( I have no doubts this happens btw )that every couple would be the same and every couple that swings is being pushed into it? Andy why do you think single people who meet on a swinging site are stronger in their swinging relationship than a couple who choose to do it after being married for a while or even together for a short while but didn't meet on a swinging site? |
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"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up
I am wary of asking you a question as it seems to upset you but does that mean your relationship is not strong as you both swing?
No it doesn't upset me in any way. I think many couples take it personally when I suggest anything could be wrong with their marriage. I have answered this before. We rarely do swing ... and we came together on here, so the swinging is really historical, a habit and one which was an element at the start of our relationship. I was talking about relationships where it has come after a few years, rather than the other way around. And the comment is also based on what I see and hear at clubs and parties ....
So do you think because you have seen some couples in clubs that one of them are obviously being pushed into doing something they don't want to ( I have no doubts this happens btw )that every couple would be the same and every couple that swings is being pushed into it? Andy why do you think single people who meet on a swinging site are stronger in their swinging relationship than a couple who choose to do it after being married for a while or even together for a short while but didn't meet on a swinging site?"
I am expressing an opinion, sorry its suddenly got a bit heated in here. I think this has been gone over and over in previous threads and I am not going to change my opinion as it is based on my experience . Have a good day. |
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"Anyone tried swinging as a last resort to try and save a relationship?
Marriage/relationship stale?
scared if you don't they will cheat?
Pressured into it by your partner?
What's your thoughts on trying swinging to save a relationship?
Have you tried it yourself or know people who have?
Did it work out for the best?
Or was it a huge mistake?"
Nope... we met and got together 7 years ago , started swinging a year later ; married a year after that and love it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a strong marriage. We came into swinging 10 years into our marriage. The sceptics won't believe me when I say we have a strong marriage. But what does anybody else know about our marriage?
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have a strong marriage. We came into swinging 10 years into our marriage. The sceptics won't believe me when I say we have a strong marriage. But what does anybody else know about our marriage?
Mrs"
To Thine own Self be true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can only answer from our point of view - we started 'swinging' after only a few months together . It wasn't an attempt to save anything it came about as part of a discussion about experimenting sexually . It's an addition to our relationship but not the be all and end all of it
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We swing because
It's fun........
I can get with a girl (H)
I can get with 2 girls (S)
I can get with 2 guys (H)
All things we can't physically do as a couple!
No marriage is perfect whether swingers are not..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not entirely sure about current marriage statistics. Some say a third of all marriages end in divorce, but ive also heard it's as high as 50 %. The point is it's high, and it high swinging or no swinging. But if a swinging couple split up it will be assumed that swinging is the culprit, and not the fact that marriages break down. |
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I definitely wouldn't have swung in my past relationships..I wouldn't have trusted the blokes as far as I could throw them..but that's mainly because the relationship just wasn't strong enough. I only thought about doing this because I know how much jake loves me so I can enjoy it all without any worry of him over stepping the mark! The main thing that turns me on is sharing jake with the rest of the female population...it would be an injustice to keep his skill locked away!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up"
Sorry I disagree on that, it's not that we want another person it's about sharing an experience and getting a sexual thrill that we couldn't get the two of us alone. It's an enhancement of our sex lives not a replacement. |
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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago
Buckley North Wales |
I don't think swinging can save a struggling relationship, you have to be committed an above all not just married you have to be friends. For us it works best when its about friendships and getting to know people. Where a couple has few mutual friends swinging can create open doors for mutual friendships.
On the sex side it can certainly spice up a bland or slightly plain sex life by helping you discover new flavours. But there needs to be a solid base. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up"
For us swinging is a hobby. Some people collect stamps, some collect seashells. We have sex. The main thing is that it's something we both enjoy and its something that we usually do together. When couples have dissimilar interests and one is always compromising to do the others thing its not quite as healthy. The day swinging does anything other than bring us closer together and fuel our love for each other is the day we stop. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up
I am wary of asking you a question as it seems to upset you but does that mean your relationship is not strong as you both swing?
No it doesn't upset me in any way. I think many couples take it personally when I suggest anything could be wrong with their marriage. I have answered this before. We rarely do swing ... and we came together on here, so the swinging is really historical, a habit and one which was an element at the start of our relationship. I was talking about relationships where it has come after a few years, rather than the other way around. And the comment is also based on what I see and hear at clubs and parties ....
So do you think because you have seen some couples in clubs that one of them are obviously being pushed into doing something they don't want to ( I have no doubts this happens btw )that every couple would be the same and every couple that swings is being pushed into it? Andy why do you think single people who meet on a swinging site are stronger in their swinging relationship than a couple who choose to do it after being married for a while or even together for a short while but didn't meet on a swinging site?
I am expressing an opinion, sorry its suddenly got a bit heated in here. I think this has been gone over and over in previous threads and I am not going to change my opinion as it is based on my experience . Have a good day."
And why I said you always get upset if I ask a question 
Sorry for asking two extra ones that you didn't want to answer,I promise never to ask you any questions ever again |
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I rarely come in to these type of threads and reference my own marriage because whatever I say people won't believe it, they see it through the eyes of their own experience, their own values and observations and assume I'm eithe being defensive or smug.
I think all the reasons set out in the op will apply to individual relationships of people who swing. Then there will be the rock solid relationships of people who swing just because they enjoy it. There isn't any one reason that couples swing. |
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"If it's got as far as last resort probably not going help if you want to save ghetto relationship a councillor may be better option!
Marriage/relationship stale?...
Stale but solid- yes could to inject a little bit of excitement to rekindle things
scared if you don't they will cheat?...if you are scared probability of jealously I would think high so again not a good thing for swinging
Pressured into it by your partner? Big no no... you should both at least understand what it's about and want to try it willingly
Be it married or just in a relationship it has to be solid
The foundation needs to be there first so you can communicate openly and honestly about wants/desires/thoughts. Feelings afterwards/did it go as you thought/were there things you want to change.
But that's just my view.
Sure others will agree or disagree
X"
Having been around the swinging world for quite some time, this is very much our experience..
As a couple, swinging has to be an element to the relationship, not something that defines it.
Seen it over and over again, when swinging is used as a 'fix' to an already broken or dysfunctional relationship, it won't last.
But when it becomes an element within a healthy and strong relationship, it can and does enhance and enrich it. |
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"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up
I am wary of asking you a question as it seems to upset you but does that mean your relationship is not strong as you both swing?
No it doesn't upset me in any way. I think many couples take it personally when I suggest anything could be wrong with their marriage. I have answered this before. We rarely do swing ... and we came together on here, so the swinging is really historical, a habit and one which was an element at the start of our relationship. I was talking about relationships where it has come after a few years, rather than the other way around. And the comment is also based on what I see and hear at clubs and parties ....
So do you think because you have seen some couples in clubs that one of them are obviously being pushed into doing something they don't want to ( I have no doubts this happens btw )that every couple would be the same and every couple that swings is being pushed into it? Andy why do you think single people who meet on a swinging site are stronger in their swinging relationship than a couple who choose to do it after being married for a while or even together for a short while but didn't meet on a swinging site?
I am expressing an opinion, sorry its suddenly got a bit heated in here. I think this has been gone over and over in previous threads and I am not going to change my opinion as it is based on my experience . Have a good day.
And why I said you always get upset if I ask a question
Sorry for asking two extra ones that you didn't want to answer,I promise never to ask you any questions ever again "
It's become very personal now and you wont let it go. Not upset, but you keep on insisting I am ... that is the only thing that it upsetting me, you making it personal |
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"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up"
What an absolutely preposterous thing to say
The very opposite is my experience, having spoken to many many 'singles' that are in fact married or in a relationship that their partner knows nothing about their activities.
The most common reason cited is that they can't even talk about fantasies let alone try and realise them...
It take a strong relationship to be able to have truly open communication, where both can be fully honest about wants, needs and desires
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"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up
I am wary of asking you a question as it seems to upset you but does that mean your relationship is not strong as you both swing?
No it doesn't upset me in any way. I think many couples take it personally when I suggest anything could be wrong with their marriage. I have answered this before. We rarely do swing ... and we came together on here, so the swinging is really historical, a habit and one which was an element at the start of our relationship. I was talking about relationships where it has come after a few years, rather than the other way around. And the comment is also based on what I see and hear at clubs and parties ....
So do you think because you have seen some couples in clubs that one of them are obviously being pushed into doing something they don't want to ( I have no doubts this happens btw )that every couple would be the same and every couple that swings is being pushed into it? Andy why do you think single people who meet on a swinging site are stronger in their swinging relationship than a couple who choose to do it after being married for a while or even together for a short while but didn't meet on a swinging site?
I am expressing an opinion, sorry its suddenly got a bit heated in here. I think this has been gone over and over in previous threads and I am not going to change my opinion as it is based on my experience . Have a good day.
And why I said you always get upset if I ask a question
Sorry for asking two extra ones that you didn't want to answer,I promise never to ask you any questions ever again "
I speak generally, not asking about anyone's relationship specifically, yet you always make it about me. Did you ever read your own posts as if someone else wrote them?? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
I think all the reasons set out in the op will apply to individual relationships of people who swing. Then there will be the rock solid relationships of people who swing just because they enjoy it. ."
One size doesn't fit all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, starting swinging wasn't to save our relationship, it was to add to it. And I think if there are cracks in a relationship joining the scene wouldn't help, it would make things worse. You really have to be open and able to communicate if you're doing this. Just my two pen'orth."
Exactly x |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"If a relationship is 'strong' I doubt the thought of swinging would even come up
I am wary of asking you a question as it seems to upset you but does that mean your relationship is not strong as you both swing?
No it doesn't upset me in any way. I think many couples take it personally when I suggest anything could be wrong with their marriage. I have answered this before. We rarely do swing ... and we came together on here, so the swinging is really historical, a habit and one which was an element at the start of our relationship. I was talking about relationships where it has come after a few years, rather than the other way around. And the comment is also based on what I see and hear at clubs and parties ....
So do you think because you have seen some couples in clubs that one of them are obviously being pushed into doing something they don't want to ( I have no doubts this happens btw )that every couple would be the same and every couple that swings is being pushed into it? Andy why do you think single people who meet on a swinging site are stronger in their swinging relationship than a couple who choose to do it after being married for a while or even together for a short while but didn't meet on a swinging site?
I am expressing an opinion, sorry its suddenly got a bit heated in here. I think this has been gone over and over in previous threads and I am not going to change my opinion as it is based on my experience . Have a good day.
And why I said you always get upset if I ask a question
Sorry for asking two extra ones that you didn't want to answer,I promise never to ask you any questions ever again
I speak generally, not asking about anyone's relationship specifically, yet you always make it about me. Did you ever read your own posts as if someone else wrote them?? "
I do yes.
None of my posts break any rules including me asking you does your comment include yourselves as you are swingers on a swinging site and then my two further questions questioning your reasoning for your answers.
It is called debate.
As I say, I promise never to ask a question ever again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So in conclusion,
If you met swinging a little while ago and now don't swing often as you are in a relationship then you have a strong relationship, if however you've been together 27 years (in our case) but only started swinging 3 years ago for fun (in our case) then you are in a weak relationship. Mmmm what a load of nonsense!  |
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So last night we were in a non swingers environment , a pub to be precise . We were chatting with a group of people we had just met , and my wife was flirting with a particularly gorgeous t girl . They were snogging and groping under the table . The guy sat next to me said to me ' I thought you guys were together , like a couple ? ' . I told him we are , we are happily married and I love seeing her doing what she does . He responded to me with the following words - ' You lucky fucker , but I don't know if I could ever do that , I get all jealous and that ' .
Anyway , the night wore on , we chatted a bit more about our relationship , and he asked if I ever felt any jealousy . Nope , I replied and I truly mean that . When my wife and the tgirl were finished with each other , she went to the bar to get a drink and the guy I was chatting with joined her . Within a minute they were gazing into each other's eyes , and their lips met for a long slow lingering kiss . The place was packed , the music playing and the dance floor full . They went to the beer garden , flirting and getting to know each other better , and finished off by leaving to end the evening in a quiet spot . I kept watch , and loved the show .
When we got home we were literally all over each other for two hours solid , and I started work this morning at 8 . Four hours sleep !
Sorry for the long story , but if this is wrong , we don't want to be right . Our marriage is unbelievably strong after almost 5 years , it feels like we've been together 5 weeks ! The adrenaline rush we get , the excitement the lifestyle brings us , the liberating feeling that jealousy doesn't exist between us and the sheer carnal lust we share and have for each other is priceless .
So anyone thinking that swinging wouldn't come into the head of those in a solid relationship is truly deluded . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was he working for the papers? I noticed a couple of times, whilst reading my son's copy of the Sun, that the dear Deirdre's echo some of the problem threads on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So last night we were in a non swingers environment , a pub to be precise . We were chatting with a group of people we had just met , and my wife was flirting with a particularly gorgeous t girl . They were snogging and groping under the table . The guy sat next to me said to me ' I thought you guys were together , like a couple ? ' . I told him we are , we are happily married and I love seeing her doing what she does . He responded to me with the following words - ' You lucky fucker , but I don't know if I could ever do that , I get all jealous and that ' .
Anyway , the night wore on , we chatted a bit more about our relationship , and he asked if I ever felt any jealousy . Nope , I replied and I truly mean that . When my wife and the tgirl were finished with each other , she went to the bar to get a drink and the guy I was chatting with joined her . Within a minute they were gazing into each other's eyes , and their lips met for a long slow lingering kiss . The place was packed , the music playing and the dance floor full . They went to the beer garden , flirting and getting to know each other better , and finished off by leaving to end the evening in a quiet spot . I kept watch , and loved the show .
When we got home we were literally all over each other for two hours solid , and I started work this morning at 8 . Four hours sleep !
Sorry for the long story , but if this is wrong , we don't want to be right . Our marriage is unbelievably strong after almost 5 years , it feels like we've been together 5 weeks ! The adrenaline rush we get , the excitement the lifestyle brings us , the liberating feeling that jealousy doesn't exist between us and the sheer carnal lust we share and have for each other is priceless .
So anyone thinking that swinging wouldn't come into the head of those in a solid relationship is truly deluded . "
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