FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why guys don't even try

Why guys don't even try

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

To all you ladies (and otherwise) who constantly ask and complain about why guys are rude, very succint and, well, "not at all romantic" I present to you the reason why:

It's not worth it

Our time is as valuable as yours and taking the time to read your (sometimes badly-written profiles) and write up a decent and relatively smile-inducing message just to see it deleted makes absolutely no fucking sense!

This is friendly advice (that comes from heavy facepalm, don't be mistaken): you get what you sow. And that applies to microcosms such as this one. Perhaps even moreso!

Now go, enjoy! And remember that for every nice-yet-deleted message there is, you get 20 rude messages. And a kitty dies.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why does the kitty die? Seems a bit harsh.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

Also, bless errors the inability to edit your posts 3

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Erm, ok

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Why does the kitty die? Seems a bit harsh. "

Universal laws we all have to abide to...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Erm, ok

You're too cool for me, sorry

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good point OP.

What should I have on my profile that would make you mail me?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

not looking to meet then OP?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Good point OP.

What should I have on my profile that would make you mail me?"

Why would you want me to mail you?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's an element of truth in what the OP says. It takes time to compose a unique and interesting piece of prose tailored for each individual lady you're interested in, especially if they're then binned instantly

But it's something that any male seeking success on here needs to do, especially if not ripped, handsome and hung! Supply and demand and all that, innit?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like getting creative and personal with my messages.

I get bored, so why not challenge myself to intrigue the gorgeous, sexual lady that I may desire?

If I get a reply, great, take it from there.

If not, I've entertained myself for a few minutes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"There's an element of truth in what the OP says. It takes time to compose a unique and interesting piece of prose tailored for each individual lady you're interested in, especially if they're then binned instantly

But it's something that any male seeking success on here needs to do, especially if not ripped, handsome and hung! Supply and demand and all that, innit?"

Of course, but it's just faster to play the big numbers game. That's the point

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Good point OP.

What should I have on my profile that would make you mail me?

Why would you want me to mail you?"

Apologies, I can't read.

No idea what I thought the OP was about!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Good point OP.

What should I have on my profile that would make you mail me?

Why would you want me to mail you?

Apologies, I can't read.

No idea what I thought the OP was about!"

Oh yeah it was the 'badly written profile' bit. I thought you were saying why do men bother to mail women when their profiles are mostly shit. Like mine.

I don't blame men for not wasting time on mail when 99.9999% get deleted with no response.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Good point OP.

What should I have on my profile that would make you mail me?

Why would you want me to mail you?

Apologies, I can't read.

No idea what I thought the OP was about!"

No worries, you're a real sweetheart. Nothing lovelier than that (except kinky sweethearts).

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Oh. My profile is shit and I always delete messages.

Luckily I don't like cats

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

Just get a really good copy and paste, insert different username and spray that fucker to everyone local, it's the attraction that matters. Not some Mark twain style message. Can't tailor messages to boring, generic profiles anyway.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can understand why men don't want to spend ages writing a long message to just see it get deleted.

It must be very disheartening on here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To all you ladies (and otherwise) who constantly ask and complain about why guys are rude, very succint and, well, "not at all romantic" I present to you the reason why:

It's not worth it

This is friendly advice (that comes from heavy facepalm, don't be mistaken): you get what you sow. And that applies to microcosms such as this one. Perhaps even moreso!

Now go, enjoy! And remember that for every nice-yet-deleted message there is, you get 20 rude messages. And a kitty dies.

Don't email women then, if your time is so valuable.

I suspect absolutely zero people will give a toss.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Oh. My profile is shit and I always delete messages.

Luckily I don't like cats

You'll be hearing from PETA *shakes paw*

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Now what have us women done?

I'm quite proud of my profile. Shame no bugger reads it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Don't email women then, if your time is so valuable.

I suspect absolutely zero people will give a toss."

Ah, fabitis

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is true. I always send polite msgs and 99.99% just get deleted. But if was to try and be forward more I'd most likely get blocked.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

mine's always been good enough to get what i wanted from here.

some men do read and make the effort, everybody is happy then.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Now what have us women done?

I'm quite proud of my profile. Shame no bugger reads it."

I actually read yours long ago and found it quite palatable. Your pic is a great side as well

Don't think I'm your type though

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get quite a few messages complimenting me on my profile and saying it made them laugh

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Now what have us women done?

I'm quite proud of my profile. Shame no bugger reads it.

I actually read yours long ago and found it quite palatable. Your pic is a great side as well

Don't think I'm your type though"

Yeah, bit too married for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"Oh. My profile is shit and I always delete messages.

Luckily I don't like cats

You'll be hearing from PETA *shakes paw*"

I just killed 6 kitties.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I only send one short messages for the reasons above. It's all about the profile... You are either in or out from the start.

And aping reality for a minute.... No one every walks up to a girl in a club armed with a life story and. a carefully penned soliloquy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"Now what have us women done?

I'm quite proud of my profile. Shame no bugger reads it.

I actually read yours long ago and found it quite palatable. Your pic is a great side as well

Don't think I'm your type though

Yeah, bit too married for me."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get quite a few messages complimenting me on my profile and saying it made them laugh

I want your profile!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

There has to be something between FAF and a four paragraph monograph.

The message is only a small part of it, though. If I get a decent message and the profile looks like it was scribbled on the back of a fag packet then I won't bother.

So, yes, OP, you're correct.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Just get a really good copy and paste, insert different username and spray that fucker to everyone local, it's the attraction that matters. Not some Mark twain style message. Can't tailor messages to boring, generic profiles anyway."

Cracking! I'll get right on it! Should save me hours of thinking up ridiculous, personal messages on a one-to-one basis, and they'll never know anyhow will they?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get quite a few messages complimenting me on my profile and saying it made them laugh

I want your profile!!

Join me in the witness protection programme

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

actually, just remembered if i wanted any kink it's been hard to get that on my terms and i actually had to delete that stuff off my profile coz it was so depressing how many guys haven't a clue about trust.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

I have loads of sex with men who try.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"There has to be something between FAF and a four paragraph monograph.

The message is only a small part of it, though. If I get a decent message and the profile looks like it was scribbled on the back of a fag packet then I won't bother.

So, yes, OP, you're correct.

What she said.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get quite a few messages complimenting me on my profile and saying it made them laugh

I want your profile!!

Join me in the witness protection programme

I'll bring chocolate

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get quite a few messages complimenting me on my profile and saying it made them laugh

I want your profile!!

Join me in the witness protection programme

I'll bring wine

Cheers

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I only send one short messages for the reasons above. It's all about the profile... You are either in or out from the start.

And aping reality for a minute.... No one every walks up to a girl in a club armed with a life story and. a carefully penned soliloquy "

Yup. All I need is a 'Hey there, I liked the look of your profile, do you want to have a look at mine and see if you'd like to chat further?' type message.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

"
That is right, there is not as we spend all the time on the forum lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I can understand why men don't want to spend ages writing a long message to just see it get deleted.

It must be very disheartening on here.

Set yourself up a spoof male profile, and then go message a few people. Seriously; it's a riot!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I only send one short messages for the reasons above. It's all about the profile... You are either in or out from the start.

And aping reality for a minute.... No one every walks up to a girl in a club armed with a life story and. a carefully penned soliloquy

Yup. All I need is a 'Hey there, I liked the look of your profile, do you want to have a look at mine and see if you'd like to chat further?' type message."

Me too, but his pics need to be good!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

That is right, there is not as we spend all the time on the forum lol

Now don't exaggerate; it's only every waking minute!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"actually, just remembered if i wanted any kink it's been hard to get that on my terms and i actually had to delete that stuff off my profile coz it was so depressing how many guys haven't a clue about trust."

You get trustworthy people by investing enough time. I can tell you that I am probably the most trustworhty person on this site, but you wouldn't be able to believe that until you actually talked to me.

Hence my huge facepalm at all the women who moan about time-wasters and whatnot when I know for a fact they are clueless in HOW to unearth the guys they (at least say) they want.

Now, I'm 27 but I've travelled enough and met enough people to get to a very simple conclusion: people are immature regardless of the age. You can't really learn from errors if you think everyone else is at fault, can you?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I only send one short messages for the reasons above. It's all about the profile... You are either in or out from the start.

And aping reality for a minute.... No one every walks up to a girl in a club armed with a life story and. a carefully penned soliloquy

Yup. All I need is a 'Hey there, I liked the look of your profile, do you want to have a look at mine and see if you'd like to chat further?' type message."

I have responded to the two or three I have had like that. It didn't lead to a meet but I had a bit of chatter with the senders.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I have I'm only here to chat when my profile is visible it doesn't however stop men from messaging me to ask to meet them. It's just wasting their time.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I kind of agree to some extent.

Fab is a place where women are told that they "have the power", and as such, can basically do nothing and hoards of men will flock at them so they have the pick. Although this is probably quite true, what they fail to realise is that for every 50 or so generic copied and pasted messages there is probably one quite sincere, well constructed, polite message. We can't blame them for mass deleting their inboxes.

In saying this, it's a completely different thing when you see women demanding that men have six-packs, a ten inch cock and be over 6'4" tall before messaging them, when from their photos they can't even be arsed to change their scabby sheets.

I think it all boils down to standards, and actually meeting the standards that you're setting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

Oh, there sometimes is. Just not really from the forum, it's like shitting where you eat. I have my profile on lockdown and message first when the mood takes me. Which is normally a tailored message to a specific person. If they don't respond I don't feel as if I've wasted my time; I just move onto someone else.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I only send one short messages for the reasons above. It's all about the profile... You are either in or out from the start.

And aping reality for a minute.... No one every walks up to a girl in a club armed with a life story and. a carefully penned soliloquy

Yup. All I need is a 'Hey there, I liked the look of your profile, do you want to have a look at mine and see if you'd like to chat further?' type message."

Yep. ..that works for me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

I've met loads of people from the forums.

Ok most of them were in a public place where there was no touching but I thought about it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

"I kind of agree to some extent.

I think it all boils down to standards, and actually meeting the standards that you're setting. "
Look when women say they just mass delete etc it is bullshit they are looking at messages still. If they are not attracted that's why they don't bother.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I kind of agree to some extent.

I think it all boils down to standards, and actually meeting the standards that you're setting. Look when women say they just mass delete etc it is bullshit they are looking at messages still. If they are not attracted that's why they don't bother. "

Sorry no. I've been known to delete the lot in a fit of pique, usually after a bad/non existent meet.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

Not a problem for me; I'm too far North of anyone who uses the forum lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I kind of agree to some extent.

I mass deleted my inbox the other day. I don't do it often but sometimes I just want to start afresh.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

Guys, I work in an office and I bet many of you do. It's really not that difficult to skim through even hundreds of messages. Especially if most of them are as bad as they say they are

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andi_shopWoman over a year ago

rotherham

I delete any message that doesn't contain a face pic

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I kind of agree to some extent.

That's not what I've been told by the many women I've met on here, nor by the women I've introduced to fab. It's been more down to constant harassment and the fact that they feel as though they can be as selective as they like.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

Hence my huge facepalm at all the women who moan about time-wasters and whatnot when I know for a fact they are clueless in HOW to unearth the guys they (at least say) they want.

they don't want to invest time, that's the problem.

loads of guys see us a service for sex and not much more. which is good if you have a high sex drive and only want vanilla sex. for anything more than that they can't invest and we lose out as well as they do.

and that's partly why men fail on the internet. they use it coz it's convenient for them. but this means they don't wanna invest anything much to get what they want. in turn it means they fail as plenty of us need to be invested in.

one message, which doesn't matter how it's written or who by as it's basically approaching us for sex, usually will not work unless the guy shows he has pretty much everything we are looking for.

the element of trust should come later but guys are showing themselves as neglectful, ignorant, worthless and a waste of our time, after that initial contact so our standards go up even more. making it harder for you all.

i think so anyway. is happening with me and i see most guys on the internet, with their being 'convenient' but neglectful, as worthless and low quality men until proved otherwise.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

I've met loads of people from the forums.

Ok most of them were in a public place where there was no touching but I thought about it "

I've yet to meet my first forumite

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I still try, and every now and then it pays off.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I kind of agree to some extent.

Mass delete happens. If I know I am not meeting why would I start conversations with people and give them that in to keep messaging?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

"I kind of agree to some extent.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

"I kind of agree to some extent.

Mass delete happens. If I know I am not meeting why would I start conversations with people and give them that in to keep messaging?

"
That's different though

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

OP what do you want to happen? Or is this just for info?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aroleBaskinWoman over a year ago

somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen

"There has to be something between FAF and a four paragraph monograph.

The message is only a small part of it, though. If I get a decent message and the profile looks like it was scribbled on the back of a fag packet then I won't bother.

So, yes, OP, you're correct.

What she said.

+ 1

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I kind of agree to some extent.

I think it all boils down to standards, and actually meeting the standards that you're setting. "

No-one has ever told me, or indeed insinuated that I have 'the power'. Nor am I crass enough to think anyone 'flocks to me', that's just loopy. I certainly would never demand anything of anyone outside of honesty and mutual respect and a bit of a chuckle. This funny little world is an entertaining pass time, not the be all and end all of existence. If I ever find it takes over to the point of anger, I will delete and skip merrily off into the sunset.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I kind of agree to some extent.

I know we all have our reasons but I really do wonder why you bother with this place.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"OP what do you want to happen? Or is this just for info?"

What I really find annoying is this condescending attitude of some women here.

Drop it, please as I don't care to be liked by you. That's not why I wrote the message (you're implying that) and I find it pretty obnoxious to ask such a question on a FORUM

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

"I kind of agree to some extent.

I know we all have our reasons but I really do wonder why you bother with this place."
The debates are intellectually stimulating and it is comedy gold.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

I've met loads of people from the forums.

Ok most of them were in a public place where there was no touching but I thought about it

I've yet to meet my first forumite

I've been to Penrith (stopping off at the wonderful Tebay Services) on my way to the Pencil Museum. You must have been busy that day.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I kind of agree to some extent.

I think it all boils down to standards, and actually meeting the standards that you're setting.

I think many people use fab for different things. I use it to meet like minded people into rope bondage, and also on our couples profile to meet people for friendship and fun. I've met a lot of people for both, and that's mainly down to the fact that I can talk to people properly. Most of our meets have been from chatting in the chat rooms and meets in clubs. It's very rare that we ever PM people, but nine times out of ten the messages are deleted before they've been opened.

I'm not saying for a minute that people should feel obligated to reply, but if profiles have been read and the person's own expectations fulfilled then the decent thing would be to reply.

You're right though. Some people get far too angry.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"OP what do you want to happen? Or is this just for info?

What I really find annoying is this condescending attitude of some women here.

Drop it, please as I don't care to be liked by you. That's not why I wrote the message (you're implying that) and I find it pretty obnoxious to ask such a question on a FORUM

I'm not implying anything. I'm asking what you want to happen as opposed to what happens now.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"OP what do you want to happen? Or is this just for info?

What I really find annoying is this condescending attitude of some women here.

Drop it, please as I don't care to be liked by you. That's not why I wrote the message (you're implying that) and I find it pretty obnoxious to ask such a question on a FORUM

Why is it condescending to try and ascertain motivation?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Guys, I work in an office and I bet many of you do. It's really not that difficult to skim through even hundreds of messages. Especially if most of them are as bad as they say they are

I can only see a limited number on the mobile site before they fall off the page. As quick as I delete / reply it's replaced with a new message.

I skim through on a daily basis & then bulk delete every few weeks.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"No-one has ever told me, or indeed insinuated that I have 'the power'. Nor am I crass enough to think anyone 'flocks to me', that's just loopy. I certainly would never demand anything of anyone outside of honesty and mutual respect and a bit of a chuckle. This funny little world is an entertaining pass time, not the be all and end all of existence. If I ever find it takes over to the point of anger, I will delete and skip merrily off into the sunset. "

Extremely admirable, yet only an anecdote. The evidence points to a different trend.

It is obvious that more intelligent people will not be influenced by their PERCEIVED value, created by a place like Fab.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I delete any message that doesn't contain a face pic "

I don't message anyone who demands a face pic from zero or just message and leave it out.

Build a little rapport first

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If a profile is so badly written why the hell are you still determined to go to the effort of messaging it? Just move along to a good profile from someone who sounds like they'd be nice enough to reply.

It's not a call centre, you don't have a quota to fill

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP what do you want to happen? Or is this just for info?

What I really find annoying is this condescending attitude of some women here.

Drop it, please as I don't care to be liked by you. That's not why I wrote the message (you're implying that) and I find it pretty obnoxious to ask such a question on a FORUM

Why is it condescending to try and ascertain motivation?

Yeah but you have to think about who is likely to be motivated

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

I've yet to meet my first forumite

I've been to Penrith (stopping off at the wonderful Tebay Services) on my way to the Pencil Museum. You must have been busy that day.

They only got 4G in Keswick two weeks ago, so your message must have got lost in t'internet somewhere? I visit clients next door to the pencil museum every Wednesday, and work in and around Penrith every Thursday and Friday, next time you're around

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"If a profile is so badly written why the hell are you still determined to go to the effort of messaging it? Just move along to a good profile from someone who sounds like they'd be nice enough to reply.

It's not a call centre, you don't have a quota to fill

I don't but others do. Why? Because they can't afford to be as picky, can they?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

I've met loads of people from the forums.

Ok most of them were in a public place where there was no touching but I thought about it

I've yet to meet my first forumite

"
Same here. I might do it one day.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

"
It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm just glad no dogs died in the making of this post

Ruby

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I will admit that threads like this make me fooking laugh!

It sounds like a lot of bitter men to me who resent the fact that 'woman have the power' which is actually a crock of shit! lol

They are so used to being the 'big man' and end up shocked that women are turning them down

God forbid women can choose their own sexual partners, if men don't like them then don't bloody kow tow to them, it is that simple.

And if it makes you feel better I struggle to meet men on here, not because I am a fuggly (I hope!) but men need to know how to make a bloody effort rather than the usual 'here for fun and a cock pic', my area is saturated with those and all I have on my home page is whinge after whinge after whinge

So as some may say, suck it up buttercup

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"I'm just glad no dogs died in the making of this post

Ruby"

Proof dog people are bad people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i think so anyway. is happening with me and i see most guys on the internet, with their being 'convenient' but neglectful, as worthless and low quality men until proved otherwise."

You don't get effort or investment on the first message. Reply back, be nice, be chatty, have a conversation.

Like humans

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many. "

If you don't want the messages you don't have to get them. Filters are a great tool

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"I will admit that threads like this make me fooking laugh!

It sounds like a lot of bitter men to me who resent the fact that 'woman have the power' which is actually a crock of shit! lol

They are so used to being the 'big man' and end up shocked that women are turning them down

God forbid women can choose their own sexual partners, if men don't like them then don't bloody kow tow to them, it is that simple.

So as some may say, suck it up buttercup

Have the power? Right. That's why you end up single moms by mistake.

Don't take me for fool, I don't have my costume on.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many.

If you don't want the messages you don't have to get them. Filters are a great tool

"
But then their egos are shattered

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many. "

Of course they don't.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many.

If you don't want the messages you don't have to get them. Filters are a great tool

But then their egos are shattered

And they won't be able to put 'I'll respond to all my messages soon, my inbox is so full' statuses.

Or complain about not having time to read them all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many.

If you don't want the messages you don't have to get them. Filters are a great tool

But then their egos are shattered

no they're not. i couldn't care less that i am not getting 100s of poor, boring, shit, messages any more now i blocked everyone. and before the block only a few years age range could contact me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally I try like buggery, doesn't get me anywhere mind but I try!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally I try like buggery, doesn't get me anywhere mind but I try!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will admit that threads like this make me fooking laugh!

It sounds like a lot of bitter men to me who resent the fact that 'woman have the power' which is actually a crock of shit! lol

They are so used to being the 'big man' and end up shocked that women are turning them down

God forbid women can choose their own sexual partners, if men don't like them then don't bloody kow tow to them, it is that simple.

So as some may say, suck it up buttercup

I think you may have misunderstood my comment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many.

If you don't want the messages you don't have to get them. Filters are a great tool

But then their egos are shattered

Not in my experience. Speaking as someone with filters on and an intact ego. The latter may be due to the fact I also possess a sense of proportion and being on fab has done nothing to change who I intrinsically am.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Personally I try like buggery, doesn't get me anywhere mind but I try!

And you try twice as hard.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Have the power? Right. That's why you end up single moms by mistake."

i walked out on my partner and am a single parent. we share 50/50 care so he is one too, a male single parent.

you just hate women, that's my conclusion.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like buggery

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

When I write out my shopping list and I need toilet rolls I write T.Rolls

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Not in my experience. Speaking as someone with filters on and an intact ego. The latter may be due to the fact I also possess a sense of proportion and being on fab has done nothing to change who I intrinsically am."

Curious how, consistently, the most attractive and intelligent women on this site have exhibited this kind of behaviour.

But again, I guess it's easily explained by the "intelligent" bit.

While I don't think intelligence is a merit, I do think it can be a great source of inspiration for others around it.

Basically, ladies, take note

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Indeed I agree on the whole .

Some days I try and send nice messages . Other days I just can't be arsed .

Most get deleted but hey ho , the way I was brought up was you can't get to know someone without communication .

. Also there is some ladies on here who obv don't have any pride , don't even tidy up when taking a picture , don't wear flattering attire , then put they only want 6ft dark hair , model type with a 54inch wanger ...haaa Haa reality check .??

I love this site . So many interesting people x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I will admit that threads like this make me fooking laugh!

It sounds like a lot of bitter men to me who resent the fact that 'woman have the power' which is actually a crock of shit! lol

They are so used to being the 'big man' and end up shocked that women are turning them down

God forbid women can choose their own sexual partners, if men don't like them then don't bloody kow tow to them, it is that simple.

So as some may say, suck it up buttercup

Have the power? Right. That's why you end up single moms by mistake.

Don't take me for fool, I don't have my costume on."

Grow up and learn to read! I said 'women have the power' is a crock of shit! That might be your problem, you are so resentful of the women on here your brain isn't engaged before you become enraged!

Plus I don't have any fucking kids, because I didn't want them, so again, big fucking assumptions, pull up your big boy pants for a change! If you don't like it here you are free to leave

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would make an effort for legeria. Sexy brain

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Have the power? Right. That's why you end up single moms by mistake.

i walked out on my partner and am a single parent. we share 50/50 care so he is one too, a male single parent.

you just hate women, that's my conclusion."

What part of "by mistake" didn't you get? I absolutely don't hate women. I'm possibly your greatest ally, but by all means, make assumptions.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many.

If you don't want the messages you don't have to get them. Filters are a great tool

But then their egos are shattered

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *issVeryWoman over a year ago

streatham

And nobody owes anybody anything.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the girls getting all the messages they can't cope with

Oh we do suffer

It's all posturing. Even hot pics women who I've met and played with don't get that many.

If you don't want the messages you don't have to get them. Filters are a great tool

But then their egos are shattered

Errrr no shattered who here.

I have filters but I'm not filtered up as I interact with people off the forums. It lets others message me but it's really really easy to press - delete all messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Have the power? Right. That's why you end up single moms by mistake.

Don't take me for fool, I don't have my costume on.

Grow up and learn to read! I said 'women have the power' is a crock of shit! That might be your problem, you are so resentful of the women on here your brain isn't engaged before you become enraged!

Plus I don't have any fucking kids, because I didn't want them, so again, big fucking assumptions, pull up your big boy pants for a change! If you don't like it here you are free to leave

That was meant to say that no, I wouldn't say women have the power and I DIDN'T say they do. I insinuated they think they do in here, but that's it.

The only angry one here is you, mon cheri. And I surely didn't say I don't like it here. I thrive on discussions

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Have the power? Right. That's why you end up single moms by mistake.

i walked out on my partner and am a single parent. we share 50/50 care so he is one too, a male single parent.

you just hate women, that's my conclusion.

What part of "by mistake" didn't you get? I absolutely don't hate women. I'm possibly your greatest ally, but by all means, make assumptions."

you keep going on about intelligent women also, you ain't got a fucking clue what one is.

and i am out of this conversation now coz i can see it for what it really is and i don't converse with people who talk shit.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't try to get meets at all. I have no profile, but I get enough offers from lovely women, tv/ts and couples (and a fair few decent guys ) to have kept me meeting regularly for the last few years. Maybe trying is not the answer anyway...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Personally I try like buggery, doesn't get me anywhere mind but I try!

And you try twice as hard.

It does that every now and again and I do sometimes get twice as hard as well!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh. My profile is shit and I always delete messages.

Luckily I don't like cats

But you can't say the same about other peoples cakes though!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"you keep going on about intelligent women also, you ain't got a fucking clue what one is."

clue: it's not one who agrees with you and puts down other women in the process.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well OP i had a very good well written profile. Spelt out exactly what i was looking for. I got abusive messages. Racist comments. I always answer all messages even the ones who say i just had a wank over your pics. Or come sit on my face.

So i deleted it because they never read it properly so what was the point in the first place. But i do take your point. It takes a few minutes or seconds to say thank you but no thank you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would make an effort for legeria. Sexy brain"

Apart from learning how to spell her name obviously.....sorry, cheap shot!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"you keep going on about intelligent women also, you ain't got a fucking clue what one is.

clue: it's not one who agrees with you and puts down other women in the process."

Indeed it's not, it's someone who can argument instead of shooting off on irrational tangents because they feel personally offended by a generic statement.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I would make an effort for legeria. Sexy brain

Apart from learning how to spell her name obviously.....sorry, cheap shot!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abs..Woman over a year ago

Some guys just send too many messages to too many women. If their time is valuable then craft a message to someone you're actually interested in getting to know instead of bulk mailing in the hope of something.

I don't like crude messages and I say that but I will get messages with guys describing in great detail in their first message what they will do to me. Why? It's irritating and nonsense. It then takes up my equally valuable time reading and answering. Who's right in that scenario?

I understand that at times it must be difficult but some guys don't help themselves because of their approach. Nobody owes anyone anything on here but some obviously feel they have rights. People should take responsibility for their actions.

If I was interested in someone I would put in some time and effort. It's not speed shagging after all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Well OP i had a very good well written profile. Spelt out exactly what i was looking for. I got abusive messages. Racist comments. I always answer all messages even the ones who say i just had a wank over your pics. Or come sit on my face.

So i deleted it because they never read it properly so what was the point in the first place. But i do take your point. It takes a few minutes or seconds to say thank you but no thank you"

No where do I state that kind of messages are not worthy of an instant block. On the contrary, it's obvious they are.

I wouldn't be bothered by them, especially considering the reasons why most men come to sites like these, but I can most certainly agree that being impolite should be discouraged.

That's exactly my point, though: it isn't if being polite is also discouraged.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Coffee and popcorn anyone?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

"Some guys just send too many messages to too many women. If their time is valuable then craft a message to someone you're actually interested in getting to know instead of bulk mailing in the hope of something.

If I was interested in someone I would put in some time and effort. It's not speed shagging after all. "

"[...]and write up a decent and relatively smile-inducing message[...]"

Sorry, bu that's very different from what you're saying.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

Being slightly more serious, OP, the way women are viewed on this site and the 'amount of effort you have to put in' to get a response seems to be a recurrent issue for you. If something was so irksome to me over several months, I would not bother wasting energy on it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *h1tewolf OP Man over a year ago

Rubery

Anyway, thank you for your participation, everyone.

I do enjoy bringing up and discussing controversial (and evergreen) topics. Now I have to go and cook which is very hateful against women because they're the ones who are supposed to be always in the kitchen and I'm just stealing their job

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll tell you what..

You say that.

I'll get a message from someone I have zero interest in ..and I do mean ZERO interest in.

But if I mail someone I am interested in, it's an odds on bet it'll get deleted.

It doesn't matter how well thought out your message is tbh.

I've sent just plain and simple "Hi" before and it's got replies, I've also sent out well thought out messages and it's either:

1. Been deleted.

2. Been replied to, but the response was to tell me it was a copy & paste.

Leaves me thinking WTF?..I've just sat there and typed that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *op gooserMan over a year ago

chester

"Anyway, thank you for your participation, everyone.

"
You sound like Tyson Fury now

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh. My profile is shit and I always delete messages.

Luckily I don't like cats

I must be one of the lucky ones

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Have the power? Right. That's why you end up single moms by mistake.

i walked out on my partner and am a single parent. we share 50/50 care so he is one too, a male single parent.

you just hate women, that's my conclusion."

Yep, I get that impression too. Another guy with an unearned sense of entitlement who believes every woman he takes a shine to owes him an exchange of messages, regardless of her preferences. When he's picked his teddies off the floor, maybe he'll build a bridge and get over himself. No one here owes anyone anything. The end.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

LOL! The op is so right.

Personally I write a short and to the point message.

There's no point beating about the bush, this is not a dating site. As long as the message is polite and succinct, I see no point in trying to woo someone when all I want is to have a little bit if mutual fun. Nothing more.

I have friends for socials and if I wanted a GF I'd get one.

Is that really so wrong? A t the end of the end day we all use each other. That's not a bad thing as long as everyone is okay with it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Anyway, thank you for your participation, everyone.

Yeah it's funny how you pick and choose who to reply to, because you've made yourself look like an arse in your original response

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get quite a few messages complimenting me on my profile and saying it made them laugh

Very clever, very funny.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

is it misogynist Monday by any chance

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I just hope the OP doesn't like fat birds

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

oh give it a rest shag...

you need a new catchphrase

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's very rare I send messages to anyone who I haven't met before because it is a waste f time.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think a lot of men all approach the same, relatively small in number, profiles in their area. Just looking at the profiles of the people who say they get 100s of messages and those with 1000s of Fabs, there is a broad correlation between the pictures being more nipply and quimmy than others.

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"To all you ladies (and otherwise) who constantly ask and complain about why guys are rude, very succint and, well, "not at all romantic" I present to you the reason why:

It's not worth it

This is friendly advice (that comes from heavy facepalm, don't be mistaken): you get what you sow. And that applies to microcosms such as this one. Perhaps even moreso!

Now go, enjoy! And remember that for every nice-yet-deleted message there is, you get 20 rude messages. And a kitty dies.

Testify brother!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

oh give it a rest shag...

you need a new catchphrase

He'll come up with some soon, you just need to be patient.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now what have us women done?

I'm quite proud of my profile. Shame no bugger reads it."

I read it! It's good.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get quite a few messages complimenting me on my profile and saying it made them laugh

Very clever, very funny. "

Thank youb

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliz NelsonMan over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"I think a lot of men all approach the same, relatively small in number, profiles in their area. Just looking at the profiles of the people who say they get 100s of messages and those with 1000s of Fabs, there is a broad correlation between the pictures being more nipply and quimmy than others.

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens. "

A week??

I'll stick to my maybe one message every 5-6 weeks if someone/some comment genuinely catches my attention

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

oh give it a rest shag...

you need a new catchphrase

He'll come up with some soon, you just need to be patient."

ker ching!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens.

A week??

I'll stick to my maybe one message every 5-6 weeks if someone/some comment genuinely catches my attention

If every man stopped tippy tapping messages for the same week they might get messages coming to them. At the very least it would change the expectations for both sides.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

"OP what do you want to happen? Or is this just for info?

What I really find annoying is this condescending attitude of some women here.

Drop it, please as I don't care to be liked by you. That's not why I wrote the message (you're implying that) and I find it pretty obnoxious to ask such a question on a FORUM

Why is it condescending to try and ascertain motivation?

Yeah but you have to think about who is likely to be motivated"

That doesn't answer. What do you want them to do instead?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliz NelsonMan over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens.

A week??

I'll stick to my maybe one message every 5-6 weeks if someone/some comment genuinely catches my attention

If every man stopped tippy tapping messages for the same week they might get messages coming to them. At the very least it would change the expectations for both sides.

Hmm! A bit harsh....I message rarely and if I do, it is a genuine interest...to message weekly suggests otherwise....could you honestly say you could find reason to message a different man on site every week?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I only send one short messages for the reasons above. It's all about the profile... You are either in or out from the start. "

Exactly - a witty or interesting one liner is fine to start with anyway!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens.

A week??

I'll stick to my maybe one message every 5-6 weeks if someone/some comment genuinely catches my attention

If every man stopped tippy tapping messages for the same week they might get messages coming to them. At the very least it would change the expectations for both sides.

I've been trying to set this trend for years!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens.

A week??

I'll stick to my maybe one message every 5-6 weeks if someone/some comment genuinely catches my attention

If every man stopped tippy tapping messages for the same week they might get messages coming to them. At the very least it would change the expectations for both sides.

I think it would be an interesting experiment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck am i reading a profile then thinking of a message.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hence my huge facepalm at all the women who moan about time-wasters and whatnot when I know for a fact they are clueless in HOW to unearth the guys they (at least say) they want.

they don't want to invest time, that's the problem.

one message, which doesn't matter how it's written or who by as it's basically approaching us for sex, usually will not work unless the guy shows he has pretty much everything we are looking for.

i think so anyway. is happening with me and i see most guys on the internet, with their being 'convenient' but neglectful, as worthless and low quality men until proved otherwise."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens. "

I'd love the site to stop men being able to send messages for a week. I'd love to see the reaction from men.. women.. couples.. tv's..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The ops post is his personal experience. And several of us will have the same tales of woe.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a man kindly told me yesterday (not before he wasted both our time messaging for 3 days), it's easier to get laid by going out on a Saturday night, picking up someone and taking them home.

50/50 success rate he said.

So if a quick fix is what you're after, rather than trying to arrange meets with women on here, you could try a night out?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a man kindly told me yesterday (not before he wasted both our time messaging for 3 days), it's easier to get laid by going out on a Saturday night, picking up someone and taking them home.

50/50 success rate he said.

So if a quick fix is what you're after, rather than trying to arrange meets with women on here, you could try a night out?"

Good suggestion really, ratio of men to women on a night out would certainly be a lot lower than on Fab.

Morning MsValliant

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens.

A week??

I'll stick to my maybe one message every 5-6 weeks if someone/some comment genuinely catches my attention

If every man stopped tippy tapping messages for the same week they might get messages coming to them. At the very least it would change the expectations for both sides.

I've been trying to set this trend for years! "

You and me both. Huge numbers of men sending lots of 'unsolicited' messages is a futile and soulless experience, that mostly creates frustration for all parties. There are definitely more effective ways to be noticed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/03/17 07:30:43]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a man kindly told me yesterday (not before he wasted both our time messaging for 3 days), it's easier to get laid by going out on a Saturday night, picking up someone and taking them home.

50/50 success rate he said.

So if a quick fix is what you're after, rather than trying to arrange meets with women on here, you could try a night out?"

And this is the other side of the coin. Fab isn't a quick fix to getting laid. It has its roots in a different mindset. There are much more effective ways for the majority to hookup for sex if you want a quick shag.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

And they won't be able to put 'I'll respond to all my messages soon, my inbox is so full' statuses.

Or complain about not having time to read them all. "

Those statuses make me chuckle

"Oh my, I'm just so busy!" Lmfao!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *issVeryWoman over a year ago

streatham

Not sure if this has been covered here or on previous threads, but it would be nice to have a customised thanks but no thanks auto message that you can send with one click..had that on other sites..was useful..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure if this has been covered here or on previous threads, but it would be nice to have a customised thanks but no thanks auto message that you can send with one click..had that on other sites..was useful.."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens.

I'd love the site to stop men being able to send messages for a week. I'd love to see the reaction from men.. women.. couples.. tv's.."

Relief, probably.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do believe I have a jolly splendidly written profile

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The OP does make sense on what he is trying to convey. It also coincides with the thread yesterday regarding men receiving diddly squat messages from women. You're in the majority.

Unfortunately that is the way of the fab world, and it isn't going to change.

OP you're just going to have to suck it up and keep crafting messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To all you ladies (and otherwise) who constantly ask and complain about why guys are rude, very succint and, well, "not at all romantic" I present to you the reason why:

It's not worth it

This is friendly advice (that comes from heavy facepalm, don't be mistaken): you get what you sow. And that applies to microcosms such as this one. Perhaps even moreso!

Now go, enjoy! And remember that for every nice-yet-deleted message there is, you get 20 rude messages. And a kitty dies.

I die?!?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is why I just use the forum, it is comedy gold

There's no time for actual meets once the 'Forumitis' kicks in is there?

I've met loads of people from the forums.

Ok most of them were in a public place where there was no touching but I thought about it

I've yet to meet my first forumite

I don't and won't meet formites. ..too much drama attached over here with most of them to make it enjoyable. The forum is where you get noticed... either for good reasons or bad and IMO best way to get meets. They read your posts then they look at your profile and if interested they message. Ill reply and If they're not formites have ended up having great meets and made good friends too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I only send one short messages for the reasons above. It's all about the profile... You are either in or out from the start.

And aping reality for a minute.... No one every walks up to a girl in a club armed with a life story and. a carefully penned soliloquy

Yup. All I need is a 'Hey there, I liked the look of your profile, do you want to have a look at mine and see if you'd like to chat further?' type message."

I think this where guys get the wrong idea. All you need to do is introduce yourself, say why you think you'd get on well and chuck in an inoffensive joke and you've usually got a conversation on the go.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've cracked it, ill never get ignored again, messages? Dont send any, as they never send any to me, even if I am a perfect match on thier profile, haha I know you'll missing out

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If everyone is fishing in the little pond and avoiding the bigger pond they are unlikely to get more bites.

Perhaps there is a very simple answer: all men should do a Lysistrata and send no messages at all for, say, a week? Then just see what happens.

I'd love the site to stop men being able to send messages for a week. I'd love to see the reaction from men.. women.. couples.. tv's..

Relief, probably."

For some like myself it would make little difference. On a previous profile I used to message alot, as said by many above, well crafted personal messages with something evident from their profile to show I'd read it ( as forums were always complaining about men not doing). 99% were just deleted. That led to being deflated and cynical about messaging which in turn didn't necessarily put me in the best place for those I did actually meet either. I learned and changed approach and have been very successful as a result. Yes there are many I could have met and maybe enjoyed whom I've not given opportunity too with my approach but then it's removed alot of time wasting in pointless messaging and I'm better placed to enjoy my meets more and offer a better meet than I was before.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I only send one short messages for the reasons above. It's all about the profile... You are either in or out from the start.

And aping reality for a minute.... No one every walks up to a girl in a club armed with a life story and. a carefully penned soliloquy

Yup. All I need is a 'Hey there, I liked the look of your profile, do you want to have a look at mine and see if you'd like to chat further?' type message.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a man kindly told me yesterday (not before he wasted both our time messaging for 3 days), it's easier to get laid by going out on a Saturday night, picking up someone and taking them home.

50/50 success rate he said.

So if a quick fix is what you're after, rather than trying to arrange meets with women on here, you could try a night out?

Exactly what i thought

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a man kindly told me yesterday (not before he wasted both our time messaging for 3 days), it's easier to get laid by going out on a Saturday night, picking up someone and taking them home.

50/50 success rate he said.

So if a quick fix is what you're after, rather than trying to arrange meets with women on here, you could try a night out?

Good suggestion really, ratio of men to women on a night out would certainly be a lot lower than on Fab.

Morning MsValliant

Morning trouble!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)