FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > some advice please
some advice please
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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my wife and i, we fight alot, she stays in bed till god knows when everyday, i get up at 7am to look after kids then leave for work at 13:20 4 days a week and she yells at me for not doing anything. i am thinking about leaving her but have no were to go or any money to get hotel, advice please |
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Ask her what the issue is? Talk to the doctor or counselling? Talk to family or friends for support. Talk anywhere but here .... why is she angry with you or the situation? Is she feeling hopeless or helpless? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its not just sundays its everyday, and i have spoke to her many times about it"
Do you keep her up all night with your moaning? Poor woman! 
I jest...sounds serious, in all honesty my advice is put your kids first, you & your wives problems should be second to their needs in the first instance so you just walking out ain't something i can condone.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I assume your wife is unaware of your presence on here? I don't have a problem with that - but maybe you need to concentrate on your relationship and family for a bit. Something's gone seriously wrong and you need to do what you can to sort it out.
I don't think these issues will be resolved by your presence on a Swinger's site, not by any of us that contribute to the forum.
Good luck, I hope you work it out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i am thinking about leaving her but have no were to go or any money to get hotel, advice please"
Well, if you have no money and nowhere to go guess you're staying huh.
...
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"dishes down and just finished makig kids lunch"
What is the big deal about that? We don't keep count of who does what (I haven't done the dishes for weeks as Mr does them and I have also trained my sons to do it) .... cooking I will do, but everyone does their own apart from Mr and I as they come and go at different times. Sounds like you are fed up being a dad too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best thing you can do is talk to each other about your issues and go from there, I ken they say talking to strangers helps to clear your head but for a long term solution you need to talk to eachother good luck bud.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my wife and i, we fight alot, she stays in bed till god knows when everyday, i get up at 7am to look after kids then leave for work at 13:20 4 days a week and she yells at me for not doing anything. i am thinking about leaving her but have no were to go or any money to get hotel, advice please"
Have you considered the French foreign legion? You would drop a few pounds, get shaved and a decent hair cut and frankly man the fuck up.
Also travel, learn a new language and maybe get a second passport after 5 years.  |
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There's a lot of issue's there by the sound's of it,not least of all because you appear to be on here by yourself,does she know? She may have found out. If she's not communicating with you then I haven't a clue,but if you think thing's are worth fighting for then fight. If not go your separate way's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your bi-curious, you can accommodate, your married with kids, you work (like thousands of others), your moaning your wife doesn't help around the house (depression can come across as a selfish illness to other on the outside), by the looks of things I'd say you need to step back and have a good look at yourself before running your wife down on a sex site and good for you you fed your kids it's called being a parent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op I really think you should talk with your wife.
I understand that you probably need to vent and get it off your chest but perhaps use your time with her instead of on here.
I wish you well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's a bit severe! Take it from a divorced man, that's one road you need to avoid
Talk it over, that guys right give her a warning complacency is all to common in any relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you perfect op?
I've been in your situation my ex thought he was perfect and everything was my fault. Turns out I was poorly with fibro, anxiety and depression. If this is the case she will feel like the whole world is against her.
I'm sorry I can't advise you because it's true if this is the case she has to realise for herself what's wrong n seek help. But sadly she may well be rebuffed a lot before people listen to her. Try to look at yourself and see if you can improve areas of your married life that may need addressing then hopefully she will see this and help herself too. Don't bitch and complain to her she will bury herself deeper. Hope this helps.
PTU XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take a step back and ask why she's not wanting to face the day. If she won't talk to you, is there someone else she can. Like a family member.
If you leave, you are not a housing priority as a single guy over 18 and under 60. You'd probably have to look into private renting and that ain't cheap. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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people don't open up when they have learned nobody really cares.
think about ways you could show you care for her?
listening to everything you argue about and doing something about this stuff is one way.
that's how you start repairing this, if you want to.
once she feels you care then she might start giving a shit also. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thanks for all the helpful advice, i think i get whatvi have to do, my account is being deleted and i try work thing over again if it fails i try somthing elce |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"thanks for all the helpful advice, i think i get whatvi have to do, my account is being deleted and i try work thing over again if it fails i try somthing elce"
join a support forums for parents maybe next time you want advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get her some flowers bitches love flowers fs"
Fuck the flowers, join the legion think of all them hot froggies lusting after you in that swish kepi and big fuckin red epulettes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is something I've never understood, if your wife is staying in bed and not pulling her weight with the kids why would you leave and let your kids deal with her?? Not all marriages are meant to last but abandoning your kids when they need support is low. |
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Me and my ex are in a complicated situation as I'm still seeing her (as a friend) to provide support for her health. I was advised to contact these guys: https://www.relate.org.uk
They can speak to both of you, but also can support you directly if you want to get an idea first before broaching the idea to her. It sounds like she may need mental health support in some way, though unless she want's help it because difficult. You could also contact Rethink: https://www.rethink.org they can also give you suggestions and option of what to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"thanks for all the helpful advice, i think i get whatvi have to do, my account is being deleted and i try work thing over again if it fails i try somthing elce"
So, you gonna kick her out?
Make sure you tell her about Fab, we could do with a few more lazy birds that sit around in bed all day doing fuck all, they usually accom as well!!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"thanks for all the helpful advice, i think i get whatvi have to do, my account is being deleted and i try work thing over again if it fails i try somthing elce"
Oh let's hold bets on how long your account actually stays active....
Maybe by putting a face pic up and being from such a relatively small place as Edinburgh your hoping to get caught and then she makes the big decision ?? Just a theory |
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If one person won't open up to the other there's no chance of finding out what the problem is.
One of the main reasons people find it difficult to talk is depression. Followed closely by fear of what will happen if they say anything then resentment and anger. Some people just don't want emotional intimacy and that's the one thing you either have to live with or walk away from.
How do you think she would respond if you issued an ultimatum?
On the issue of you doing everything round the house, that kind of thing goes in circles and you might find your places reversed on that score one day.
Good luck. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"Still here I see, guess I'm looking good in the spread"
his only option pretty much depends on his wife helping herself.
don't slag him off for not being able to cope with someone who is mentally ill, it's not easy and he's only young.
maybe this site is his only form of support and sex is his escape from his shit life? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still here I see, guess I'm looking good in the spread
his only option pretty much depends on his wife helping herself.
don't slag him off for not being able to cope with someone who is mentally ill, it's not easy and he's only young.
maybe this site is his only form of support and sex is his escape from his shit life?"
Well said |
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Best advice you'll get is get off here and keep your private life just that!!!
We all go through tough times but running her down on a adult swinging site is really shitty. It's fab not dear Deirdre op so think about your kids and what's best for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still here I see, guess I'm looking good in the spread
his only option pretty much depends on his wife helping herself.
don't slag him off for not being able to cope with someone who is mentally ill, it's not easy and he's only young.
maybe this site is his only form of support and sex is his escape from his shit life?"
I'd love to know who is slagging him off ?? I made a factual comment, I'll always call someone out on their BS statements and expect the same in return and also it's a bit of a far stretch for you to diagnose someone with a mental illness when you know nothing about the person and have 1 side of a story . And yes i have people in my life who suffer from mental illness as I'm sure your going to say you do, nearly everyone does nowadays. Has he also not stated he's not looking to meet anyone off here ? Love it when people don't read the whole thread but then make comments based on one sentence.
He's the one who threw out the comment he was leaving and we all know people rarely leave when they say they are going to.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If shes not working and its your place throw her out."
Im going to agree, if she isnt caring for the kids or bringing in money then make her leave, you continue to care for them and put in for immediate custody due to her problems and ask for a mental health eval be done, its harsh but it may be the only way to find out if she is just being shitty person or if there is an issue |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
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"Still here I see, guess I'm looking good in the spread
his only option pretty much depends on his wife helping herself.
don't slag him off for not being able to cope with someone who is mentally ill, it's not easy and he's only young.
maybe this site is his only form of support and sex is his escape from his shit life?
I'd love to know who is slagging him off ?? I made a factual comment, I'll always call someone out on their BS statements and expect the same in return and also it's a bit of a far stretch for you to diagnose someone with a mental illness when you know nothing about the person and have 1 side of a story . And yes i have people in my life who suffer from mental illness as I'm sure your going to say you do, nearly everyone does nowadays. Has he also not stated he's not looking to meet anyone off here ? Love it when people don't read the whole thread but then make comments based on one sentence.
He's the one who threw out the comment he was leaving and we all know people rarely leave when they say they are going to.
"
i read his profile and he is up for meets.
people say (and do) all kinds of stuff when under pressure.
and you think it's normal to not look after your own kids and stay in bed all the time? no, she is mentally ill. don't even need to be a doctor to see that.
and yes i am going off one side of the story coz that's all there is but i do know sometimes people take a lot of time and effort to reach out to others for help and this will be one of the only times i take people seriously coz...even if they are trolling what harm has he done? even if he is lying what harm has he done? but if he's telling the truth he needs support and it might have taken him ages, and a lot of courage, to get to that point. |
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"If shes not working and its your place throw her out.
Im going to agree, if she isnt caring for the kids or bringing in money then make her leave, you continue to care for them and put in for immediate custody due to her problems and ask for a mental health eval be done, its harsh but it may be the only way to find out if she is just being shitty person or if there is an issue "
Would you say the same thing if she stayed in bed all day, couldn't contribute financially or care for their children if she had a physical illness?
If she has mental health problems she needs help, not abandonment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If shes not working and its your place throw her out.
Im going to agree, if she isnt caring for the kids or bringing in money then make her leave, you continue to care for them and put in for immediate custody due to her problems and ask for a mental health eval be done, its harsh but it may be the only way to find out if she is just being shitty person or if there is an issue
Would you say the same thing if she stayed in bed all day, couldn't contribute financially or care for their children if she had a physical illness?
If she has mental health problems she needs help, not abandonment."
But she may well hsve no problems just be a lazy cunt.
Eitherway though the relationship is pretty much dead better he dkesnt lose his house and his kids too
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"If shes not working and its your place throw her out.
Im going to agree, if she isnt caring for the kids or bringing in money then make her leave, you continue to care for them and put in for immediate custody due to her problems and ask for a mental health eval be done, its harsh but it may be the only way to find out if she is just being shitty person or if there is an issue
Would you say the same thing if she stayed in bed all day, couldn't contribute financially or care for their children if she had a physical illness?
If she has mental health problems she needs help, not abandonment.
But she may well hsve no problems just be a lazy cunt.
Eitherway though the relationship is pretty much dead better he dkesnt lose his house and his kids too
"
Where abuse, alcohol or drugs are concerned I would say ask her to leave. In this case without knowing the full facts admittedly, I would say get the mental health evaluation before asking her to go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still here I see, guess I'm looking good in the spread
his only option pretty much depends on his wife helping herself.
don't slag him off for not being able to cope with someone who is mentally ill, it's not easy and he's only young.
maybe this site is his only form of support and sex is his escape from his shit life?
I'd love to know who is slagging him off ?? I made a factual comment, I'll always call someone out on their BS statements and expect the same in return and also it's a bit of a far stretch for you to diagnose someone with a mental illness when you know nothing about the person and have 1 side of a story . And yes i have people in my life who suffer from mental illness as I'm sure your going to say you do, nearly everyone does nowadays. Has he also not stated he's not looking to meet anyone off here ? Love it when people don't read the whole thread but then make comments based on one sentence.
He's the one who threw out the comment he was leaving and we all know people rarely leave when they say they are going to.
i read his profile and he is up for meets.
people say (and do) all kinds of stuff when under pressure.
and you think it's normal to not look after your own kids and stay in bed all the time? no, she is mentally ill. don't even need to be a doctor to see that.
and yes i am going off one side of the story coz that's all there is but i do know sometimes people take a lot of time and effort to reach out to others for help and this will be one of the only times i take people seriously coz...even if they are trolling what harm has he done? even if he is lying what harm has he done? but if he's telling the truth he needs support and it might have taken him ages, and a lot of courage, to get to that point."
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"my wife and i, we fight alot, she stays in bed till god knows when everyday, i get up at 7am to look after kids then leave for work at 13:20 4 days a week and she yells at me for not doing anything. i am thinking about leaving her but have no were to go or any money to get hotel, advice please"
wonder how she would react if she knew her hubby is a cheat, bet she would stay in bed for ever then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If shes not working and its your place throw her out.
Im going to agree, if she isnt caring for the kids or bringing in money then make her leave, you continue to care for them and put in for immediate custody due to her problems and ask for a mental health eval be done, its harsh but it may be the only way to find out if she is just being shitty person or if there is an issue
Would you say the same thing if she stayed in bed all day, couldn't contribute financially or care for their children if she had a physical illness?
If she has mental health problems she needs help, not abandonment."
A physical illness is different as it would be known, from the sounds of it she isnt going to get help without a massive wakeup call!
Plus she could just be a horrible person who thinks great ive got a dumb husband who will do whatever and I can sit on my arse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my wife and i, we fight alot, she stays in bed till god knows when everyday, i get up at 7am to look after kids then leave for work at 13:20 4 days a week and she yells at me for not doing anything. i am thinking about leaving her but have no were to go or any money to get hotel, advice please"
She could have Postnatal depression and that can go on for years after giving birth .......... Get her to see a Doc and tell her how you feel . If she care for you and the family she will go. Maybe she is hiding in her bed cant face the day a head. And if you care for her a kids you will be there for her and the family.
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