FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can't Accommodate = Cheater?
Can't Accommodate = Cheater?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been on Fab on and off for a few years now.
I used to be happy to have guys back to mine for meets when I didn't have the kids at home. However, I've had a few bad experiences with guys knowing where I live, tracking me down into my personal (and private life) through my address and phone number and even a few idiots turning up at all hours of the day and night for a 'chat'  I also have a pretty unusual last name and use my phone for business, so it's pretty easy to find me.
As a result of this, I don't accommodate, give out my number (I only use Kik) and keep everything I can about myself private. I'm a naturally open person so this is something I have to work at every time I wanna meet someone or couple. Also, I now have a housemate and an annoying puppy, as well as having my kids half the week so hosting at mine is really difficult and inconvenient.
I also now ALWAYS meet for a social beforehand - no exceptions. This is to protect myself and my kids from the crazy stalker types.
This has never been a problem before and I've never had anyone say this is a bad thing, apart from everyone obviously telling that they're NOT a crazy stalker (that's what a crazy stalker would say!) hahahaha...
Last night, I was chatting to a guy through messenger on here whom I've been chatting to for about a week and he said he lives in the same place as me and offered to come round. I said that my housemate and her friend was in for one, I was in my jammies and ready for bed and I aways meet for a social beforehand either way - no matter how horny I am!
He then accused me of being a cheater and not being discreet about it i.e. lying about my situation lol. He said he wasn't here to date anyone and take girls out beforehand.
I'm not in the slightest bit bothered about this guy (obviously) but I just wondered if people assumed that you're cheating if you can't accommodate?
I'm not worried if someone can't accommodate me and if they wanna cheat then that's up to them - I don't wanna get involved with a cheater but not much I can do apart from do a full background check on them!
A lot of singletons my age are living in a situation where they are having to either rent out a room for themselves or to someone else so I think it's pretty reasonable not to have someone back - especially if you don't know them
Just throwing it out there really to see what the general consensus was on this subject...? |
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If men don't accommodate, they are labelled a cheater, whereas women probably have kids at home. I don't think anyone should have to. Bringing a stranger into your home should not be expected of anyone |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I don't say I can't accommodate, I say I don't accommodate. Its totally my decision as to who I allow in my house, and that extends to others too.
If I get a message from some who has that they don't accommodate on their profile I will point out the difficulty of being able to meet, but things have been done to get around that. As you say, so many people are having to move home, or have family commitments, and I don't think its a given that they have to be attached. I do see why some people would think so, but I also think we shouldn't have to explain our decisions to unsympathetic people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah theres plenty of reasons why people dont accomidate. Some may have kids, still live with there parents, maybe some even live like tramps.
Of course its safe to say some people are cheating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont accommodate either first similar reasons.
And just to have double standards I usually assume that men who can't are attached.
But to be honest I don't really care what assumptions people on here have if me.
If they don't like it that I don't accommodate then we won't meet
X |
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Most ppl in their right mind wouldn't accommodate it's a very risky business, I've done it once but it was someone I knew well and trusted!! I never assume anything about anyone from a profile but a lot of ppl do unfortunately xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm divorced living at my friend's place so for that reason I don't accom but have also had the cheat label thrust upon me at times there are times I can accom but they are rare and when my friend is away on business |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is common conclusion that people wrongly assume.
People don't accommodate for many reasons. There is no way on earth I would invite strangers on an internet site to my home, without having met them before and got to know them a little.
It's far too risky. Hotels and clubs are much safer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't accomadate unless you got a really hot bum...then i'm all 'hey, come on over' 
It's a matter of choice for most, had invites from women who's profile states they don't accom on the odd occasion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't say I can't accommodate, I say I don't accommodate. Its totally my decision as to who I allow in my house, and that extends to others too.
If I get a message from some who has that they don't accommodate on their profile I will point out the difficulty of being able to meet, but things have been done to get around that. As you say, so many people are having to move home, or have family commitments, and I don't think its a given that they have to be attached. I do see why some people would think so, but I also think we shouldn't have to explain our decisions to unsympathetic people."
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I don't automatically assume that "cannot accomodate" equates to someone cheating, there can be any number of reasons (those you've mentioned already, nosey neighbours, thin walls and umpteen others) that people don't. I also would think it's very obvious from a security and personal safety perspective why some people (especially women) would not want to accomodate.
So no, not accomodating on it's own shouldn't be a signal that someone is cheating on a partner - but it can be an indication that someone is doing so when coupled with other factors (e.g. can't meet evenings and weekends, mentions need for discretion a lot in profile and various others) and even then it's not cast iron proof that they are. |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Some people just don't feel comfortable with having stranger in their home. Others just want to keep their swinging life separated from their family life.
Assuming anyone who can't accomodate is a cheater is just a lazy conclusion to jump to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I completely understand where you're coming from. I spent the last two years sharing and I wasn't prepared to have the uncomfortable conversation about all the different people I would've been bringing back.
Your situation isn't anyone else's business and other people shouldn't be making assumptions and judging you on them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't say I can't accommodate, I say I don't accommodate. Its totally my decision as to who I allow in my house, and that extends to others too.
If I get a message from some who has that they don't accommodate on their profile I will point out the difficulty of being able to meet, but things have been done to get around that. As you say, so many people are having to move home, or have family commitments, and I don't think its a given that they have to be attached. I do see why some people would think so, but I also think we shouldn't have to explain our decisions to unsympathetic people."
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
sometimes people accuse you of things thinking you will prove them wrong, ie. you would prove to him that you are not married/cheating and accom as soon as he expects that.
it's a manipulation technique of the childish,
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We can't accommodate so we ask that anybody we meet can. We don't make any assumptions about them if they can't though and if they want to assume anything about us they're welcome to it's probably far more interesting than the truth. |
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The general consensus on Fab is, if a bloke can't accom then he is cheating. If a woman or couple can't then they have kids, personal safety or it is their choice.
My own thoughts on the matter are - I don't care. They say they can't accommodate then I don't question it, just like I don't answer when asked why I don't accom. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
yep, sorry Im not rich enough to afford a flat of my own and have to live at home and not poor enough to live as a student again.
i have come across this stereotype a fair bit on here by a few. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"think about it, he also didn't want a social and accused you of wanting to date him.
Methinks he was projecting..."
definitely trying to manipulate her into doing what he wanted and not what she wanted.
i think she had a lucky escape. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option. "
Yeahhh, about that...
The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't say I can't accommodate, I say I don't accommodate. Its totally my decision as to who I allow in my house, and that extends to others too.
If I get a message from some who has that they don't accommodate on their profile I will point out the difficulty of being able to meet, but things have been done to get around that. As you say, so many people are having to move home, or have family commitments, and I don't think its a given that they have to be attached. I do see why some people would think so, but I also think we shouldn't have to explain our decisions to unsympathetic people."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Yeahhh, about that...
The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast."
I always book in advance, as I need to plan ahead,so I guess that's why I don't have a problem. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Yeahhh, about that...
The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast.
I always book in advance, as I need to plan ahead,so I guess that's why I don't have a problem. "
If the first meet was supposed to be a social then you find out you want to jump his bones it can start getting expensive. |
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"The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast."
I'm cheap and will bring you breakfast in bed 
You've gotta wash up though |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast.
I'm cheap and will bring you breakfast in bed
You've gotta wash up though "
I was gonna say yes until you mentioned washing up. I'm out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah theres plenty of reasons why people dont accomidate. Some may have kids, still live with there parents, maybe some even live like tramps.
Of course its safe to say some people are cheating "
I'm in the live like a tramp category and I can't be bothered in cleaning up. Though I'm not much interested in private meets these days anyway so it's n/a |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm often asked if I'm married because I don't accommodate. I frequently ask if someone has a partner, whether they accommodate or not, for clarification purposes. I've been to someone's flat, only to find, on leaving, that they have a girlfriend and she is away. I ask now, but they don't have to tell the truth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah theres plenty of reasons why people dont accomidate. Some may have kids, still live with there parents, maybe some even live like tramps.
Of course its safe to say some people are cheating
I'm in the live like a tramp category and I can't be bothered in cleaning up. Though I'm not much interested in private meets these days anyway so it's n/a"
An untidy place wouldn't bother me, as long as the mice are friendly. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option. "
Hotels can be with advance planning (to keep the price down) - another alternative is clubs if you have them local or at a convenient mid-point. Know they're not for everyone but they ARE an option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - I don't accomodate single guys for some of the reasons you've given. I'd share the cost of a hotel though. There are many reasons people can't accomodate , not because they're cheating. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Nah theres plenty of reasons why people dont accomidate. Some may have kids, still live with there parents, maybe some even live like tramps.
Of course its safe to say some people are cheating
I'm in the live like a tramp category and I can't be bothered in cleaning up. Though I'm not much interested in private meets these days anyway so it's n/a"
I don't care about untidy houses (you should see mine!) but I would care about hygiene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Yeahhh, about that...
The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast.
I always book in advance, as I need to plan ahead,so I guess that's why I don't have a problem.
If the first meet was supposed to be a social then you find out you want to jump his bones it can start getting expensive."
Well in the case I would pay up and be happy, and hope he was worth it  |
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"The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast.
I'm cheap and will bring you breakfast in bed
You've gotta wash up though
I was gonna say yes until you mentioned washing up. I'm out!"
Well bang goes my fantasy of seeing you bent over and reaching under the kitchen sink looking for the Marigolds  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If men don't accommodate, they are labelled a cheater, whereas women probably have kids at home. I don't think anyone should have to. Bringing a stranger into your home should not be expected of anyone"
OP the guy who mailed you last night sounds dodgy as fuck. The type that would turn up 'for a chat' unannounced and get angry if you didn't 'comply'.
It's sex with strangers. I don't even tell people the name of my town. If they have a problem with that they can fuck off. Why on earth people care what strangers think is beyond me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Hotels can be with advance planning (to keep the price down) - another alternative is clubs if you have them local or at a convenient mid-point. Know they're not for everyone but they ARE an option."
Wondering why people are hung up on the cost of hotels, I know I'm worth every penny  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Yeahhh, about that...
The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast.
I always book in advance, as I need to plan ahead,so I guess that's why I don't have a problem.
If the first meet was supposed to be a social then you find out you want to jump his bones it can start getting expensive.
Well in the case I would pay up and be happy, and hope he was worth it "
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I use to be able to accomadate.untill my son moved in .and now have his girlfriend moved in now and ther here al time as there both out of work at moment .
So it a no no .untill they get a job then hopefully i can do day meets |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Aw thanks everyone for your lovely comments!
I wasn't worried about this guy at all - he can think what he wants. My life, my body, my home and I have no issues with him not wanting to have a social or whatevs. My diary seems to get pretty full without him anyway
Interesting that we all have the same views.
Hotels can get expensive but I like more than one other person for the most part and get in free as a single gal in clubs so it's fine by me to meet at a club. If the guy doesn't wanna make any effort (not even financial, apart from a coffee/drink) then there are plenty more fish in the sea!!
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are right about the steps you take to protect yourself and family!
Doesn't matter how nice they look or how long!
I don't accommodate either,for the same reasons,plus don't reveal your personal life or your name! I ditched someone from here,he phoned family services,saying that I receive strangers at my house,even lied regarding the conditions of my home,I decorated my own home! She closed the case in 10 minutes!
Was true he was coming since October once a week but my child was at dads because we share! Never again!You can't let your guard down!
I been single mother since my son was 9 months ,he will be 11! Never had an issue till I ditched this guy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are right about the steps you take to protect yourself and family!
Doesn't matter how nice they look or how long!
I don't accommodate either,for the same reasons,plus don't reveal your personal life or your name! I ditched someone from here,he phoned family services,saying that I receive strangers at my house,even lied regarding the conditions of my home,I decorated my own home! She closed the case in 10 minutes!
Was true he was coming since October once a week but my child was at dads because we share! Never again!You can't let your guard down!
I been single mother since my son was 9 months ,he will be 11! Never had an issue till I ditched this guy! "
very sad this happened that's why I never meet at mine if my kids visit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are right about the steps you take to protect yourself and family!
Doesn't matter how nice they look or how long!
I don't accommodate either,for the same reasons,plus don't reveal your personal life or your name! I ditched someone from here,he phoned family services,saying that I receive strangers at my house,even lied regarding the conditions of my home,I decorated my own home! She closed the case in 10 minutes!
Was true he was coming since October once a week but my child was at dads because we share! Never again!You can't let your guard down!
I been single mother since my son was 9 months ,he will be 11! Never had an issue till I ditched this guy! very sad this happened that's why I never meet at mine if my kids visit "
He never meet my son but we talked about him! I don't accommodate full stop ! I stick with clubs! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you ever thought some men might have a brain and not invite random strangers into their home without vetting them first? I certainly wouldnt female or male |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are right about the steps you take to protect yourself and family!
Doesn't matter how nice they look or how long!
I don't accommodate either,for the same reasons,plus don't reveal your personal life or your name! I ditched someone from here,he phoned family services,saying that I receive strangers at my house,even lied regarding the conditions of my home,I decorated my own home! She closed the case in 10 minutes!
Was true he was coming since October once a week but my child was at dads because we share! Never again!You can't let your guard down!
I been single mother since my son was 9 months ,he will be 11! Never had an issue till I ditched this guy! very sad this happened that's why I never meet at mine if my kids visit
He never meet my son but we talked about him! I don't accommodate full stop ! I stick with clubs! X"
kids safety should always be a parents number one priority if it's not then no way I'm fucking meeting you that's my rules I don't want to be placed in a situation that might go bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even if I could choose to accommodate I wouldn't.
I don't tend to disclose my real name to people on here anymore so I'm not exactly going to tell them where I live. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't accommodate and I never will - I do live on my own, but it's a small flat, thin walls and I'm extremely protective of my space, privacy and personal space.
When I do meet it tends to be with someone who's far away, and those people tend to enjoy booking a hotel for the weekend at the seaside to spend time together without expectations. |
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"Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple"
Maybe your home is too fancy for the likes of fabsters to be invited in? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple
Maybe your home is too fancy for the likes of fabsters to be invited in?"
nope regular semi on a council estate lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't accommodate.I don't want folk from here in my house.bad enough I had one lad turn up at my work never mind if they landed at my house and my kids there |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple
Maybe your home is too fancy for the likes of fabsters to be invited in?"
I must say, anyone who wants me to take my shoes off when entering their house is probably a bit too posh for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple
Maybe your home is too fancy for the likes of fabsters to be invited in?
I must say, anyone who wants me to take my shoes off when entering their house is probably a bit too posh for me. "
or they just don't want u leaving mud on the living room walls or sofa lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If men don't accommodate, they are labelled a cheater, whereas women probably have kids at home. I don't think anyone should have to. Bringing a stranger into your home should not be expected of anyone"
^^^ this 100% |
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I put can't accommodate on my profile purely because I want the security of getting to know someone before I invite them to my home. Yes it would probably be easier to arrange meets if people could just turn up at the drop of a hat but i have a life outside fab and want to keep that and my fab 'persona' separate?... |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple
Maybe your home is too fancy for the likes of fabsters to be invited in?
I must say, anyone who wants me to take my shoes off when entering their house is probably a bit too posh for me. or they just don't want u leaving mud on the living room walls or sofa lol"
Walls? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple
Maybe your home is too fancy for the likes of fabsters to be invited in?
I must say, anyone who wants me to take my shoes off when entering their house is probably a bit too posh for me. or they just don't want u leaving mud on the living room walls or sofa lol
Walls? "
You've never danced on the ceiling?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple
Maybe your home is too fancy for the likes of fabsters to be invited in?
I must say, anyone who wants me to take my shoes off when entering their house is probably a bit too posh for me. or they just don't want u leaving mud on the living room walls or sofa lol
Walls?
You've never danced on the ceiling? "
nope I prefer to twist and shout lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your ashamed of your home or area you live in or your in a shit tip due to decorating but end of day it's your home and who u invite in is your choice simple
Maybe your home is too fancy for the likes of fabsters to be invited in?
I must say, anyone who wants me to take my shoes off when entering their house is probably a bit too posh for me. or they just don't want u leaving mud on the living room walls or sofa lol
Walls?
You've never danced on the ceiling?
nope I prefer to twist and shout lol"
I'd be afraid I'd put my back out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you feel that you are happy to accommodate - do it and if not - don't and bollox with what anybody thinks. At the end of the day it's your house and 100% up to you who comes through the door.
We've had two people who we'd previously had at our house, just turn up 'because they were in the area' one of them was a couple and the other a single guy - In my opinion that kind of behaviour simply isn't on - ever ! |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"If you feel that you are happy to accommodate - do it and if not - don't and bollox with what anybody thinks. At the end of the day it's your house and 100% up to you who comes through the door.
We've had two people who we'd previously had at our house, just turn up 'because they were in the area' one of them was a couple and the other a single guy - In my opinion that kind of behaviour simply isn't on - ever !"
i had one guy do this twice. he was shit in bed so i never let him in. |
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I say that I can accommodate, but that's usually when I'm working in Cardiff, and have a rented apartment
Like the op I have kids for the times when I'm at home, in North Wales, principally the weekend.
I will never mix my private life and swinging life, so that means not having people around to where I live (ok I've bent the rules on a couple of social occasions  )
Not giving out my phone number, and not sharing other social media information about myself.
That doesn't make me a cheater, though some seem to think because I don't accommodate at home that I must be  |
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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago
West Midlands |
I can't accommodate at the moment, and have been called a lier and a cheat.
Sorry, but my daughter is my #1 girl, I'm second on the priority list.
I'm happy to go hotel,day room,chams ect ect.
If the other prison wants to meet,little obsticles won't matter.
Kinda s out the time wasters imo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People jump to conclusions quicker than I jump to sandwiches at a buffet... And I fucking love sandwiches.
I don't accommodate, therefore I'm a cheater...
I don't have Facebook, therefore I'm a cheater...
I don't use WhatsApp, therefore I'm a cheater...
Let people think what they want, fuck em. |
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By *norksterMan
over a year ago
Darlington and beyond |
"People jump to conclusions quicker than I jump to sandwiches at a buffet... And I fucking love sandwiches.
I don't accommodate, therefore I'm a cheater...
I don't have Facebook, therefore I'm a cheater...
I don't use WhatsApp, therefore I'm a cheater...
Let people think what they want, fuck em."
Yup, agree... |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Yeahhh, about that...
The cheapest Travelodge in York is over £100 if you don't book in advance. London hotel prices are off the scale. And I have no intention of using a B&B and getting winked at by the owner when having breakfast."
hotels are not a viable option when you are on the minimum wage or on zero hour contracts, but then everyone to their own. |
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Lots of people here seem to agree its an assumption thing, which I think is true. I've only been on the site for a while and considering most of us would consider ourselves openminded to be involved with the site in the first place, it is easy to see assumptions and bigotry appear in how people message or present their profiles (I also realise some people who would cry out cheater might not be viewing it as a bad thing.) |
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"I had a couple have a right go at me once calling me a cheat and a liar,i just told them to fuck right off its none of their business"
I had something similar, the male of a couple, who lived here hundreds of miles away, that I had never even seen their profile send me a rant that he hated cheating married men.
When I said I wasn't married and was a single Dad, that set off another rant of liars using their kids as an excuse.
I humoured him and eventually he listened, but didn't apologise. Just justified it as lots of men do say that as an excuse. Seemed to be his hobby. The married man Ranter!
Given it's 2017, is it really that unbelievable that a man can be a single parent?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fruit the loops make great fucking lovers, would I invite one into my humble abode though? Would a fuck, why do you think so many hotels and B&B's exist? #alwaysgodutch |
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"I had a couple have a right go at me once calling me a cheat and a liar,i just told them to fuck right off its none of their business
I had something similar, the male of a couple, who lived here hundreds of miles away, that I had never even seen their profile send me a rant that he hated cheating married men.
When I said I wasn't married and was a single Dad, that set off another rant of liars using their kids as an excuse.
I humoured him and eventually he listened, but didn't apologise. Just justified it as lots of men do say that as an excuse. Seemed to be his hobby. The married man Ranter!
Given it's 2017, is it really that unbelievable that a man can be a single parent? "
Was it worth your time? |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"I've been on Fab on and off for a few years now.
I used to be happy to have guys back to mine for meets when I didn't have the kids at home. However, I've had a few bad experiences with guys knowing where I live, tracking me down into my personal (and private life) through my address and phone number and even a few idiots turning up at all hours of the day and night for a 'chat' I also have a pretty unusual last name and use my phone for business, so it's pretty easy to find me.
As a result of this, I don't accommodate, give out my number (I only use Kik) and keep everything I can about myself private. I'm a naturally open person so this is something I have to work at every time I wanna meet someone or couple. Also, I now have a housemate and an annoying puppy, as well as having my kids half the week so hosting at mine is really difficult and inconvenient.
I also now ALWAYS meet for a social beforehand - no exceptions. This is to protect myself and my kids from the crazy stalker types.
This has never been a problem before and I've never had anyone say this is a bad thing, apart from everyone obviously telling that they're NOT a crazy stalker (that's what a crazy stalker would say!) hahahaha...
Last night, I was chatting to a guy through messenger on here whom I've been chatting to for about a week and he said he lives in the same place as me and offered to come round. I said that my housemate and her friend was in for one, I was in my jammies and ready for bed and I aways meet for a social beforehand either way - no matter how horny I am!
He then accused me of being a cheater and not being discreet about it i.e. lying about my situation lol. He said he wasn't here to date anyone and take girls out beforehand.
I'm not in the slightest bit bothered about this guy (obviously) but I just wondered if people assumed that you're cheating if you can't accommodate?
I'm not worried if someone can't accommodate me and if they wanna cheat then that's up to them - I don't wanna get involved with a cheater but not much I can do apart from do a full background check on them!
A lot of singletons my age are living in a situation where they are having to either rent out a room for themselves or to someone else so I think it's pretty reasonable not to have someone back - especially if you don't know them
Just throwing it out there really to see what the general consensus was on this subject...?"
I live with parents so that's why I can't accommodate. That's why I meet in clubs, and do hotels.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option. "
Not really...it's expensive when start to add drinks and travel in too and so restricts meeting regularly. When you see more and more profiles stating the guy pays for the room (because it's expensive) then it becomes more like pay for sex too.
I no longer consider those who 'don't' accommodate unless I'm traveling and am staying in a hotel already. It cuts down the % of possibles but certainly not restrictive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't accommodate. I live with my mum and my two children. Not really into going to a mans place either unless know him well, as already had one bad experience.
There are some incredibly odd people on these kinds of sites, you do have to consider personal safety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I live in a shared house so its hard for me to arrange meetings there and when I do the other two blokes always want to join in so no cheating do not come into it for me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't accommodate. I live with my mum and my two children. Not really into going to a mans place either unless know him well, as already had one bad experience.
There are some incredibly odd people on these kinds of sites, you do have to consider personal safety."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Not really...it's expensive when start to add drinks and travel in too and so restricts meeting regularly. When you see more and more profiles stating the guy pays for the room (because it's expensive) then it becomes more like pay for sex too.
I no longer consider those who 'don't' accommodate unless I'm traveling and am staying in a hotel already. It cuts down the % of possibles but certainly not restrictive."
I always insist on going halves on everything. It's unfair to expect a man to pay for it all. |
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I am a single parent, I choose not to bring other ladies to the house.
unless the children was in the other parents care but at short notice it maybe cancelled
unless its something more, long standing same person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Not really...it's expensive when start to add drinks and travel in too and so restricts meeting regularly. When you see more and more profiles stating the guy pays for the room (because it's expensive) then it becomes more like pay for sex too.
I no longer consider those who 'don't' accommodate unless I'm traveling and am staying in a hotel already. It cuts down the % of possibles but certainly not restrictive.
I always insist on going halves on everything. It's unfair to expect a man to pay for it all."
It is unfair but many don't see it like you unfortunately. 6 of my meets have been hotel meets of which I had to book and pay in advance....only 1 has shared the costs at our meets, the other 4 haven't. I don't like one off meets either. |
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"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option. "
I would happily meet you in a hotel sexy lady.
I have to agree with the OP, I find us men get a rough deal on a number of things and this is one area where we really get slated.
But you just have to sift through the ones with a hang up and meet the true diamonds. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I don't see why there is such a big deal about accommodating.
Hotels are a perfect option.
Not really...it's expensive when start to add drinks and travel in too and so restricts meeting regularly. When you see more and more profiles stating the guy pays for the room (because it's expensive) then it becomes more like pay for sex too.
I no longer consider those who 'don't' accommodate unless I'm traveling and am staying in a hotel already. It cuts down the % of possibles but certainly not restrictive.
I always insist on going halves on everything. It's unfair to expect a man to pay for it all.
It is unfair but many don't see it like you unfortunately. 6 of my meets have been hotel meets of which I had to book and pay in advance....only 1 has shared the costs at our meets, the other 4 haven't. I don't like one off meets either. "
this kind of meet does not appeal to me its feels like prostituion, I will always be thinking that I am somehow using someone for my own sexial gratification and that does not make me horny nor sit well with me. I will constantly feel like I have somehow hurt the other person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I see accommodating in the same way as any other preference on here. It's your choice, it doesn't make me think anything other than that. "
In the past I have contributed to this question/query... only the person knows the truth. Nobody else really does as we are all strangers until we make real friendships.
I can say I am single and no children, no hidden agenda, motives etc but explaining or giving reasons is pointless.
If I have to explain beyond the basics it is not going to work.
I know I am single and people who know me for 2 years know.
But...
None of the things I have said above is important.
This next bit is:
Since the day I joined I treated my profile equal to single women and couples.
In other words...
My profile my rules.
The only thing I have control of on here is my profile and nobody going to tell me how to use it.
I know people don't like to read profiles, but if you read my informative text you will know there are a few different options when arranging to meet.
Genuine people always find ways to meet in a suitable location date/time. I understand sometimes it is difficult and not convenient.
I know many people who accomodate at home and they have soo much fun at short notice. Everyone has different circumstances.
Like with everything you have to way up the risks and make a decision on what works best for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's amazing how many guys won't meet at a club. Usually citing the entry costs are too high but they're willing to pay a lot more for a hotel room for a few hours?????"
I can think of many reasons a man wouldn't meet at a club. I don't blame them. |
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"It's amazing how many guys won't meet at a club. Usually citing the entry costs are too high but they're willing to pay a lot more for a hotel room for a few hours?????
I can think of many reasons a man wouldn't meet at a club. I don't blame them. "
Personally, I think it's a much easier way to meet, regularly attend several clubs with hardly any negative experiences. |
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"It's amazing how many guys won't meet at a club. Usually citing the entry costs are too high but they're willing to pay a lot more for a hotel room for a few hours?????
I can think of many reasons a man wouldn't meet at a club. I don't blame them.
Personally, I think it's a much easier way to meet, regularly attend several clubs with hardly any negative experiences."
I'm with you - if you arrange to meet at a club and you don't hit it off you can go your separate ways and still have fun |
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"It's amazing how many guys won't meet at a club. Usually citing the entry costs are too high but they're willing to pay a lot more for a hotel room for a few hours?????
I can think of many reasons a man wouldn't meet at a club. I don't blame them.
Personally, I think it's a much easier way to meet, regularly attend several clubs with hardly any negative experiences.
I'm with you - if you arrange to meet at a club and you don't hit it off you can go your separate ways and still have fun"
That's what I do, haven't bothered with a meet off here for years prefer club visits. Just put a status up saying what club you're at and go from there
...simples and less hassle too. |
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"It's amazing how many guys won't meet at a club. Usually citing the entry costs are too high but they're willing to pay a lot more for a hotel room for a few hours?????
I can think of many reasons a man wouldn't meet at a club. I don't blame them.
Personally, I think it's a much easier way to meet, regularly attend several clubs with hardly any negative experiences.
I'm with you - if you arrange to meet at a club and you don't hit it off you can go your separate ways and still have fun
That's what I do, haven't bothered with a meet off here for years prefer club visits. Just put a status up saying what club you're at and go from there
...simples and less hassle too."
I can't get a meet off here, lol.
All but 3 of my veris are club meets. Love the whole environment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was judged the same way. when I first joined i had a few late night meets at my flat, subsequently i got a polite warning from my landlord that there had been a couple of noise complaints. So i didnt accommodate for about six months now if i do accommodate its either daytime or early evening |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
So OP you chat with the guy for a week & then he talks of "popping round" despite "cannot accomodate" being on your profile & then gets the are with you.
I think the first thing to have asked him was can he bloody read?
Regarding hotels, we don't to this as well as having vanilla weekends away, we do it (when we can) instead of having them.So a weekend of daytime sightseeing in somewhere like York (never been) together with dinner & a meet or club sounds perfect to us..
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't think that if someone can't accom they are a cheater I'm a single full time dad and have my 2 girls and want to keep my two lives separate one for me and one for them and don't want them to clash or be judged. I'm more than happy to pay for a hotel but understand that's not always financially viable but just tell them straight we're going halfs... if you're really good he may pay all of it lol no if he's a gentleman he'll do that anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's amazing how many guys won't meet at a club. Usually citing the entry costs are too high but they're willing to pay a lot more for a hotel room for a few hours?????
I can think of many reasons a man wouldn't meet at a club. I don't blame them.
Personally, I think it's a much easier way to meet, regularly attend several clubs with hardly any negative experiences.
I'm with you - if you arrange to meet at a club and you don't hit it off you can go your separate ways and still have fun"
Obviously one of the reasons men wouldn't want to go to a club |
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I have been accused of be a cheater or timewaster lately as i cant accom. after 3pm or 6pm. This is due to my work pattern and stupid hrs with a new job. Unfort we are in a world where we all now work 24/7. Funny how the ones accuse me of it, dont have veri's etc. Hey i dont have to explain myself to them and you shouldnt either. They are prob the timewasters and just want pics from you to perv over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ive had this a lot lately, despite it being on my profile that I am back living at home they accuse me of all sorts, to the point I was called a liar because no-one would move back home at my age.. he shut up when I pointed out my mum is dying, but its awful you even have to tell people personal stuff for them to understand. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Ive had this a lot lately, despite it being on my profile that I am back living at home they accuse me of all sorts, to the point I was called a liar because no-one would move back home at my age.. he shut up when I pointed out my mum is dying, but its awful you even have to tell people personal stuff for them to understand. "
No you don't, you tell them to bugger off.. Simples. We could live in a ten bed mansion with no kids & we still wouldn't accommodate probably..its called personal choice.
;-)
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think the problem starts with the assumption that you're not single if you don't accommodate. If that assumption wasn't there people might accept it more. It's actually little to do with accommodating or not but rather that the other might be deceiving people. We're obsessed with this concept that we could be lied to. It's a first world thing. |
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If can,t accommodate may simply mean they are in shared accommodation and temporarily in hotel accom....does not mean cheat all the time...( could also mean student halls of accom too)....
Perhaps even still living with partner but come to mutual decision to go own way but co- habitats.. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Nobody should have to justify themselves on here or feel the need to explan themselves. We don't accommodate we have our reason and that's that if it bothers somebody else that is their problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody should have to justify themselves on here or feel the need to explan themselves. We don't accommodate we have our reason and that's that if it bothers somebody else that is their problem."
Correct |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I just don't want to accommodation it's as simple as that, I could if I chose to but I choose not to, I don't want guys off here knowing where I live, I want my private life to remain that
I don't ask anybody to accommodate me either I'd rather use hotels than go to somebody's home |
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"Ive had this a lot lately, despite it being on my profile that I am back living at home they accuse me of all sorts, to the point I was called a liar because no-one would move back home at my age.. "
I've got mates older than you who still haven't moved out for the first time. It ain't cheap these days.
If I couldn't accommodate, I'd put the reason why but I wouldn't put up with someone challenging that reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just don't want to accommodation it's as simple as that, I could if I chose to but I choose not to, I don't want guys off here knowing where I live, I want my private life to remain that
"
This for me too and I don't understand why anyway has to justify not accommodating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone disputes or refuses to accept the truth of what I tell them, I'd never agree to meet anyway."
then they block ya lol.
They self clean fab for me and save in my searches too....that's the way I see it. |
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I can accommodate. 99% of my meets have been at home, however I do not meet those who don't.
I don't assume they're married, I assume they don't want me in their house which is fair enough and no one has to justify their decision to me.
I work on the principal I can't go to yours, you're sure as hell not welcome in mine. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Ps. I always decline people who can't accom as it's an easy 'whittle them numbers down' filter and YES I DO always assume it means cheater. Just to be on the safe side. Don't shoot me."
we are not going to shoot the messenger. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
Me response would have been
"So your close by, good, look up at the sky, see it at about 10 o'clock, you might have to squint a little against the sunlight, see it? Yeah, good, cos that's the flying fuck I give about what you think! See Ya!" Block.
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can't accommodate = cheater...
Jesus you should be in the GB Olympic squad.
Am sure you would set a WR for longest jump to a conclusion."
Did you actually read the opening post or just the title of the thread? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't accommodate = cheater...
Jesus you should be in the GB Olympic squad.
Am sure you would set a WR for longest jump to a conclusion.
Did you actually read the opening post or just the title of the thread? "
Just the click bait... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can't accommodate = cheater...
Jesus you should be in the GB Olympic squad.
Am sure you would set a WR for longest jump to a conclusion.
Did you actually read the opening post or just the title of the thread?
Just the click bait..."
I thought so |
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