FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Imagination vs reality
Imagination vs reality
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm new here and I find the stuff I see (pics and text) is usually good and hot and then my mind fills in the gaps (see what I did there) but then I get chatting to a girl and I'm hoping for a real connection where you both crave each other's hands on them and every time you talk you want them.... so i get chatting to a girl, then the reality of actually getting to know them and seeing normal life pics is 99% of time a let down. Then the ones I do think would suit and are stunning never want to talk because they obviously getting hundreds of messages and better offers.
Discuss !  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
went to look at your page to check you out and you seem alright. noticed you messaged me 5 days ago, well i didn't see your message even...so yes we do get maybe too much mail. 
you're 150 miles from me, i wouldn't reply to someone that far away really.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey thank you. 
It's ok, I didn't expect to message you and that would lead to me meeting you. Just message people that excite my mind I guess.
Thanks for replying though! Glad someone's reading. I also know my profile is fairly boring but I can't add face pics, I would prefer to be discreet here for professional reasons.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sounds to me feeling let down because of your own unrealistic expectations is a self infected condition .....
That's about all I've got...  "
Haha. Who knows ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey thank you.
It's ok, I didn't expect to message you and that would lead to me meeting you. Just message people that excite my mind I guess.
Thanks for replying though! Glad someone's reading. I also know my profile is fairly boring but I can't add face pics, I would prefer to be discreet here for professional reasons. "
The professional pedestal is full....sorry |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"Hey thank you.
It's ok, I didn't expect to message you and that would lead to me meeting you. Just message people that excite my mind I guess.
Thanks for replying though! Glad someone's reading. I also know my profile is fairly boring but I can't add face pics, I would prefer to be discreet here for professional reasons. "
there's nothing wrong with a 'boring' profile if your message is interesting. but seeing as i didn't even notice your message anyway i suppose that point is irrelevant.
yeah i'm up for chatting usually, and have done with a lot of guys from the forums.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so"
a well taken pic with flattering light can be decpetive! They don't mean the person has a pretty face and amazing personality! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so"
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot."
not from me you haven't, when I post one of those feel free to diss that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot.
not from me you haven't, when I post one of those feel free to diss that "
Didn't say that you posted them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot.
not from me you haven't, when I post one of those feel free to diss that
Didn't say that you posted them."
the OP is saying when he gets to see everyday pics of people he feels let down..i think the advice I gave was sufficient |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Thing is OP you've been here only two weeks and according to your status have already given up on the site - that right there is going to put people off.
Not quite sure what you were expecting either? A site full of stunners like you see in porn films all ready to drop everything (including their knickers) just to meet with you? And ones that stimulate your mind at that!
Reality is it's a site full of normal people where the men outnumber the women at least ten fold and you have to stand out from the crowd in some way (good profile and pics, active forumite etc) if the site is going to work for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot.
not from me you haven't, when I post one of those feel free to diss that
Didn't say that you posted them.
the OP is saying when he gets to see everyday pics of people he feels let down..i think the advice I gave was sufficient"
Fabs male vs female problems |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot.
not from me you haven't, when I post one of those feel free to diss that
Didn't say that you posted them.
the OP is saying when he gets to see everyday pics of people he feels let down..i think the advice I gave was sufficient
Fabs male vs female problems"
I don't understand why you are responding to me specifically, others have given similar advice but you didn't diss their response  |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I'm new here and I find the stuff I see (pics and text) is usually good and hot and then my mind fills in the gaps (see what I did there) but then I get chatting to a girl and I'm hoping for a real connection where you both crave each other's hands on them and every time you talk you want them.... so i get chatting to a girl, then the reality of actually getting to know them and seeing normal life pics is 99% of time a let down. Then the ones I do think would suit and are stunning never want to talk because they obviously getting hundreds of messages and better offers.
Discuss ! "
expectation is the bed fellow of disappointment fella a lesson you seem to be learning .
learn to expect nothing and trust me you will never be disappointed in fact you will find the complete opposite from time to time because you don't expect even a positive outcome so when one occurs its a pleasant surprise .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot.
not from me you haven't, when I post one of those feel free to diss that
Didn't say that you posted them.
the OP is saying when he gets to see everyday pics of people he feels let down..i think the advice I gave was sufficient
Fabs male vs female problems
I don't understand why you are responding to me specifically, others have given similar advice but you didn't diss their response "
Diss? come on it isnt 2005
It was nothing personal but you seem to be treating it as that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot."
Fair comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm new here and I find the stuff I see (pics and text) is usually good and hot and then my mind fills in the gaps (see what I did there) but then I get chatting to a girl and I'm hoping for a real connection where you both crave each other's hands on them and every time you talk you want them.... so i get chatting to a girl, then the reality of actually getting to know them and seeing normal life pics is 99% of time a let down. Then the ones I do think would suit and are stunning never want to talk because they obviously getting hundreds of messages and better offers.
Discuss ! "
Discuss what?
They're either getting a better offer.
Or you don't match each other.
Done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot.
not from me you haven't, when I post one of those feel free to diss that
Didn't say that you posted them.
the OP is saying when he gets to see everyday pics of people he feels let down..i think the advice I gave was sufficient
Fabs male vs female problems
I don't understand why you are responding to me specifically, others have given similar advice but you didn't diss their response
Diss? come on it isnt 2005
It was nothing personal but you seem to be treating it as that"
I responded to a post on a thread.. its not personal, its just a post lighten up, grumpy draws |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hey thank you.
It's ok, I didn't expect to message you and that would lead to me meeting you. Just message people that excite my mind I guess.
Thanks for replying though! Glad someone's reading. I also know my profile is fairly boring but I can't add face pics, I would prefer to be discreet here for professional reasons.
Damn!
The professional pedestal is full....sorry"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thing is OP you've been here only two weeks and according to your status have already given up on the site - that right there is going to put people off.
Not quite sure what you were expecting either? A site full of stunners like you see in porn films all ready to drop everything (including their knickers) just to meet with you? And ones that stimulate your mind at that!
I don't expect model type looks or anything of the sort, see my ex to prove that lol jokes. I just mean someone who's decent looking and a goood imaginative brain on them. Oh and they can spell basic words that my daughter can spell with no problem so they shouldn't really be an issue.
Reality is it's a site full of normal people where the men outnumber the women at least ten fold and you have to stand out from the crowd in some way (good profile and pics, active forumite etc) if the site is going to work for you."
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot.
not from me you haven't, when I post one of those feel free to diss that
Didn't say that you posted them.
the OP is saying when he gets to see everyday pics of people he feels let down..i think the advice I gave was sufficient
Fabs male vs female problems
I don't understand why you are responding to me specifically, others have given similar advice but you didn't diss their response
"
It's ok. Hes just asking the question. Be calm. All friends here.
Ps your pics are really good ! Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Id say lower your expectations..
you appear to be after someone with the WOW factor when all we are really are ordinary people...
its those unrealistic expectations again, putting people on pedestals when there is really no need to do so
Why should he lower them? I've seen 100s of threads from women moaning about the same thing.. everyone usually says "be picky, you have the right too"....now the shoe is on the other foot.
Fair comment "
Now you guys have an amazing profile and pics too. That's the kind of thing that makes the mind wander! |
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I'd prefer people to be themselves, than try to be my imaginary ideal. Role plays a different thing, when that's partly great of course.
Op, you make it sound as if your mental process is outside of your control. You don't have to fill in the blanks. Some people may be reluctant to further engage with you, if they sense that you're too eager to get deep under the surface. Less is often more. And many people will run, if they guess they're your making do option for fun. And they will likewise retreat if sensing a push to be someone else.
You may be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by behaving as you are now. Getting people less and less like your desirable mates. Giving people the space they need is often very alluring. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd prefer people to be themselves, than try to be my imaginary ideal. Role plays a different thing, when that's partly great of course.
Op, you make it sound as if your mental process is outside of your control. You don't have to fill in the blanks. Some people may be reluctant to further engage with you, if they sense that you're too eager to get deep under the surface. Less is often more. And many people will run, if they guess they're your making do option for fun. And they will likewise retreat if sensing a push to be someone else.
You may be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by behaving as you are now. Getting people less and less like your desirable mates. Giving people the space they need is often very alluring. "
Thanks for the input. I guess I do just let my own mind and expect / see different things to what is really there.
My profile is real and pics are me plain and simple as I am. So many profiles and pics are deceiving and I cannot just go with "she's ok" because I want "wow" !  |
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