FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Sexual confidence

Sexual confidence

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So am laying in bed pondering life in general and how we change as a person over the years and I started thinking about my sexual confidence. Even two years ago i wouldn't have been as confident as I am now. And then i remembered an experience at uni when the guy I was seeing put a towel over me as he came so that I didn't get covered but now that seems like a daft idea, the messier the better!

My ex bf introduced me to this world and despite him being a Twunt, it was definitely the switch on becoming sexually confident. So when was yours? Was there a defining moment or has it just been a slow burner to where you are now?

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I find it strange that any bloke would find my body sexy, but once I get going I really don't care.

I wander around clubs half naked and don't even worry, because I am in surroundings that enable it. Yet I won't wear a bikini on a beach.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So am laying in bed pondering life in general and how we change as a person over the years and I started thinking about my sexual confidence. Even two years ago i wouldn't have been as confident as I am now. And then i remembered an experience at uni when the guy I was seeing put a towel over me as he came so that I didn't get covered but now that seems like a daft idea, the messier the better!

Mine was when my ex husband left after years of very bad sex I decided to start dating and explore what I'd been missing. I was very lucky to meet my new man who showed me what sex should be about and now enjoy swinging together. Just goes to show you're never too old for good sex x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

About 4 years ago I met this guy who initially wasn't my type (that's another story) but went on to blow my mind sexually.

Nothing outrageous, just how satisfying good sex can actually be....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nah. ...I've always been minxy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it strange that any bloke would find my body sexy, but once I get going I really don't care.

I wander around clubs half naked and don't even worry, because I am in surroundings that enable it. Yet I won't wear a bikini on a beach.

But from your pic your body does look sexy x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sexual confidence?

I'm sure I put that down here somewhere

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

For so long it was all about my children (I have 3 between 11 & 15) then at a Christmas party a colleagues husband told me he thought I was sexy. No one had said that to me for a while, he made me feel good and for the first time in literally years I thought 'fuck yes, I am sexy!!!!'

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

my sexual confidence is lower than before i came on here. i dunno, just feel like most men don't even really like sex and are only here to chase women until they catch them then they go off and look for someone else.

gonna stick to married and attached guys, at least they actually seem to like a lot of sex.

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By *harliebbwWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

I lost mine close to 4 years ago. don't know if I will èvery get it back or have the balls to meet solo again. I hope so. I don't like the person I have become

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hmmmm any day now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmmm any day now

Tricky bugger to find isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmmm any day now

Tricky bugger to find isn't it?"

Meh I've never been physically confident so at almost 40 I'm not expecting that to change. I'm strangke okay with awkward

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its weird one. Im a sexually confident person and have been my whole life i think. Yet im one of the most shy and anxious people in other areas of my life.

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman over a year ago

Somewhere

"my sexual confidence is lower than before i came on here. i dunno, just feel like most men don't even really like sex and are only here to chase women until they catch them then they go off and look for someone else.

gonna stick to married and attached guys, at least they actually seem to like a lot of sex."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmmm any day now

Tricky bugger to find isn't it?

Meh I've never been physically confident so at almost 40 I'm not expecting that to change. I'm strangke okay with awkward

Being here has helped a bit with the physical confidence.

I've received compliments here that I've never received elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmmm any day now

Tricky bugger to find isn't it?

Meh I've never been physically confident so at almost 40 I'm not expecting that to change. I'm strangke okay with awkward

Being here has helped a bit with the physical confidence.

I've received compliments here that I've never received elsewhere "

Tbf your bottom looks great in a tool belt. Not sure how often people get the opportunity to pass that kind of compliment off site

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmmmm any day now

Tricky bugger to find isn't it?

Meh I've never been physically confident so at almost 40 I'm not expecting that to change. I'm strangke okay with awkward

Being here has helped a bit with the physical confidence.

I've received compliments here that I've never received elsewhere

Tbf your bottom looks great in a tool belt. Not sure how often people get the opportunity to pass that kind of compliment off site

that is a fair point. Although I'd never have dreamed of taking a photo like that without positive comments to the tamer pics

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan over a year ago

Practice makes perfect,

The more you do it the better you get,

Well that's my excuse and am sticking with it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its weird one. Im a sexually confident person and have been my whole life i think. Yet im one of the most shy and anxious people in other areas of my life. "

I can really identify with this

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman over a year ago

Somewhere

I am not sexually confident at all .

I got to clubs sometimes as have a lot of friends who are swingers .I admire them and how confident and brave they are . I only go to socialise .

I am more traditional type . I can't even kiss the man I fancy first . I'm quite shy sexually but that is due to not being experienced.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am not sexually confident at all .

I got to clubs sometimes as have a lot of friends who are swingers .I admire them and how confident and brave they are . I only go to socialise .

I am more traditional type . I can't even kiss the man I fancy first . I'm quite shy sexually but that is due to not being experienced.

I know where you are coming from

I know I do something's well but not all things

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

all the fake compliments don't help either...being treated like i'm only my look (which is basically tattoos and looking young for my age) is just ugh...

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By *eanontiWoman over a year ago

Limerick

I was very comfortable in my own skin sexually quite early on. Very adventurous etc. Then, during a bad marriage I lost confidence in every area of my life.

Then I met a guy on the fish place. He pushed me to date him. To leave my comfort zone. And a part of me that I thought was gone for good was resurected.

I am a very sexual person, who knows what I like in the bedroom

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me it was whilst at uni, my very first night there was spent having predrinks at my friends accommodation with his new flatmates, one of which was stunning with an Irish accent so I was hoping to chat with her throughout the night. Didn't see it as a possibility though so I kind of just made conversation and thought nothing of it. Later on in the night after a dance and some drinks we went back to hers, I woke up and went to my meeting at uni where every single person starting that semester was ( and I was late). Figured she wouldn't be too proud of walking into this lecture hall of around 400 with me but we went in and she smiled and went off to sit with her friends. Thought it was just a lucky d*unken night but I found that whenever I went to a predrink session or to the shop on canpus for beer i was being looked at by the odd girl here and there and as I always wore a buckled belt they would approach and say "nice belt" anyhow, for me to be approached was a huge thing and I figured if my image of myself was accurate then this wouldn't happen. It definitely brought out my confidence and although I'm an average guy I'm now pretty content with myself ( well, I just need fine tuning but fundamentally I'm alright)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Always helpful to start a thread and then fall asleep!

Some really lovely comments and some that make me want to give you some squeezy hugs.

I'm not a slim thing by any stretch of the imagination so for me, being on here has made me realise that I don't induce vomiting or eye rolling that I thought might happen! Some people do just say stuff as a way to try and get lucky but I've chatted to and met a few very lovely people from here.

I'm fast approaching 40, and although my children are still young, I'm at the point where I want to reclaim me as a person and being naughty every now and then is a good way of getting there.

I still look back over the past two years since my marriage ended and think, wow! And not in a bad way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Always helpful to start a thread and then fall asleep!

Some really lovely comments and some that make me want to give you some squeezy hugs.

I'm fast approaching 40, and although my children are still young, I'm at the point where I want to reclaim me as a person and being naughty every now and then is a good way of getting there.

I still look back over the past two years since my marriage ended and think, wow! And not in a bad way. "

Aww, I'd give you a big hug. You say a few sentiments that I feel exactly the same. I'm in my early 50's and though my kids aren't little my sons are disabled so have a lifetime of caring for them to look forward to. So yes reclaiming myself and being naughty occasionally is not a bad thing. I've also come to realise that even though I was told almost everyday by my ex that no one would want me and my body is awful, it's not that bad and I am attractive in my own way.

We are awesome

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Always helpful to start a thread and then fall asleep!

Some really lovely comments and some that make me want to give you some squeezy hugs.

I'm fast approaching 40, and although my children are still young, I'm at the point where I want to reclaim me as a person and being naughty every now and then is a good way of getting there.

I still look back over the past two years since my marriage ended and think, wow! And not in a bad way.

We are awesome

I also think, that if some of the people on Jeremy Kyle can get some, I'm bloody sure I can!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Always helpful to start a thread and then fall asleep!

Some really lovely comments and some that make me want to give you some squeezy hugs.

I'm fast approaching 40, and although my children are still young, I'm at the point where I want to reclaim me as a person and being naughty every now and then is a good way of getting there.

I still look back over the past two years since my marriage ended and think, wow! And not in a bad way.

We are awesome

I also think, that if some of the people on Jeremy Kyle can get some, I'm bloody sure I can!

Too right, I think you look lovely. I'm lucky my man thinks I'm lovely so I'm happy with that x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well it's so easy for women to struggle finding themselves that way because of society. Wether you're fast approaching 30 or 40, any age really and regardless of somatotype there are people who accept your age and invest the time in chatting, bit easier to be open with preferences and such here as there's less judgement. I speak with a lovely woman from the other end of the country, not likely to ever meet but always a good flowing conversation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wish I knew when my confidence came, I used to be really shy and awkward.

Then, almost overnight, I became duper confident. Especially after I realised the word "No" didn't actually kill or harm me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well it's so easy for women to struggle finding themselves that way because of society. Wether you're fast approaching 30 or 40, any age really and regardless of somatotype there are people who accept your age and invest the time in chatting, bit easier to be open with preferences and such here as there's less judgement. I speak with a lovely woman from the other end of the country, not likely to ever meet but always a good flowing conversation. "

Oh I totally agree but I think being at peace with yourself (couldn't think of a less motivational speak way to say it!) helps massively.

I don't know if there is less judgment on here but it's far easier to filter through profiles to find the right people.

I chat to some truly lovely people but like you, miles and miles away so the chance of meeting is limited but it's good to have found some great people to talk too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well chatting is a crucial element regardless of distance so for me I enjoy a chat and if said person is close enough and we have the ability to meet then it would be far more satisfying for some mental stimulation too. I'd like to think the worthwhile meets will come in good time

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By *ittleAcornMan over a year ago

visiting the beach

I think confidence, of any sort, can be worn like a cloak over your real self. And it's actually easier to pull that trick off with strangers.

Then once you get the hang of that trick it's hard to spot what's underneath.

This is a great place to practice!

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By *ndigo40Woman over a year ago

secret town

"I find it strange that any bloke would find my body sexy, but once I get going I really don't care.

I wander around clubs half naked and don't even worry, because I am in surroundings that enable it. Yet I won't wear a bikini on a beach.

I would never go topless / nude on a beach or on fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think confidence, of any sort, can be worn like a cloak over your real self. And it's actually easier to pull that trick off with strangers.

Then once you get the hang of that trick it's hard to spot what's underneath.

This is a great place to practice!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've always been sexually confident and uninhibited...Fab has just brought out my kinkier traits.

But I'm confident in all aspects of my life and neither shy nor reticent - wearing a bikini in public or going topless on a beach has never been an issue for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So am laying in bed pondering life in general and how we change as a person over the years and I started thinking about my sexual confidence. "

You'd have to be pretty confident to stick one of those up your ass....

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By *ilentgirlWoman over a year ago

That place in

If find if you with the right person they can make you confident, they make you sexy and you will be feel sexy

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By *airymagicWoman over a year ago

goblin city

Very similar to my story. Barr I had fantastic sex prior to my husband

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it strange that any bloke would find my body sexy, but once I get going I really don't care.

I wander around clubs half naked and don't even worry, because I am in surroundings that enable it. Yet I won't wear a bikini on a beach.

Looks fine to me. Get the bikini on and sod em all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My confidence came when I walked through the greenhouse and turned to see a corridor full of men following me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me the saying "it's the quiet ones you have to watch" describes me perfectly.

Outwardly i am quiet and unassuming, fully clothed I worry about how I look, how fat I am and worry about what others think of me.

But get me into bed and I can talk as filthy as can be, my size is irrelevant likewise with my lumpy arse and thighs, if I have got to that point with someone then I know they weren't expecting to unveil a size 10 goddess, I enjoy sex and won't be afraid to show it.

I did discover porn quite early on so saw women seemingly enjoying sex so I think this has some bearing and helped me become more open minded towards different sexual practices

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was shy until about 8 years ago . Now there's no stopping me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So am laying in bed pondering life in general and how we change as a person over the years and I started thinking about my sexual confidence.

You'd have to be pretty confident to stick one of those up your ass....

Snigger, snigger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Very similar to my story. Barr I had fantastic sex prior to my husband"

I wish I had discovered good sex years ago. Me and mr were talking about it yesterday and he says I've been spoiled by him now. Would never go back to bad sex, it's due to my mr now that I have the confidence sexually that I do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

After a lifetime of being told I'm a minger, that has become ingrained in my psyche.

Thanks to various lovely people I've met on here, that debilitating shackle is gradually being worn away but the core effects remain.

I have more confidence in myself, when I'm with friends who have accepted me. The more of those I meet, the more my confidence grows.

I'll still seem shy in the company of strangers but it isn't really shyness... it is a reticence to engage with others, who I'm convinced will find me repulsive.

I know I'll never be everyone's cup of tea and the chances of my appearance making your knickers wet, are remote - but as the scars from years of judgmental bullshit, are chipped away, I'm gradually accepting that I have as much right to enjoyment of life (and sex!), as anyone else.

Since I joined, I've become a lot more outgoing and sexually adventurous, so I have to believe that somewhere out there, is a playmate who is looking for exactly what I've got to offer.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"After a lifetime of being told I'm a minger, that has become ingrained in my psyche.

Thanks to various lovely people I've met on here, that debilitating shackle is gradually being worn away but the core effects remain.

I have more confidence in myself, when I'm with friends who have accepted me. The more of those I meet, the more my confidence grows.

I'll still seem shy in the company of strangers but it isn't really shyness... it is a reticence to engage with others, who I'm convinced will find me repulsive.

Since I joined, I've become a lot more outgoing and sexually adventurous, so I have to believe that somewhere out there, is a playmate who is looking for exactly what I've got to offer."

This

In spades

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not sexually confident, i just know what i'm good at and stick to that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"After a lifetime of being told I'm a minger, that has become ingrained in my psyche.

Thanks to various lovely people I've met on here, that debilitating shackle is gradually being worn away but the core effects remain.

I have more confidence in myself, when I'm with friends who have accepted me. The more of those I meet, the more my confidence grows.

I'll still seem shy in the company of strangers but it isn't really shyness... it is a reticence to engage with others, who I'm convinced will find me repulsive.

Since I joined, I've become a lot more outgoing and sexually adventurous, so I have to believe that somewhere out there, is a playmate who is looking for exactly what I've got to offer.

This

In spades "

I never think that men would feel unconfident, which I know is very silly because despite popular belief you do all have feelings too! I'm sure that lots of others can identify with what you have both said. I know I can, and I'm far better at being less harsh of myself when I describe myself, I still have moments but I try to be factual about things rather than being negative. So for example my bottom is big, which it is rather than saying oh I don't want to burn people's eyes by letting it be seen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not sexually confident, i just know what i'm good at and stick to that."

There's a little confidence in there to know what you are good at in the first place, isn't there? I'm confident that my bj skills are bloody good

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not sexually confident, i just know what i'm good at and stick to that.

There's a little confidence in there to know what you are good at in the first place, isn't there? I'm confident that my bj skills are bloody good

And mine!

i'm rubbish at going on top though as i can't find a rhythm and feel like i look like i'm on a bucking bronco

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"After a lifetime of being told I'm a minger, that has become ingrained in my psyche.

Thanks to various lovely people I've met on here, that debilitating shackle is gradually being worn away but the core effects remain.

I have more confidence in myself, when I'm with friends who have accepted me. The more of those I meet, the more my confidence grows.

I'll still seem shy in the company of strangers but it isn't really shyness... it is a reticence to engage with others, who I'm convinced will find me repulsive.

Since I joined, I've become a lot more outgoing and sexually adventurous, so I have to believe that somewhere out there, is a playmate who is looking for exactly what I've got to offer.

This

In spades

I'm sure it is delightful

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not sexually confident, i just know what i'm good at and stick to that.

There's a little confidence in there to know what you are good at in the first place, isn't there? I'm confident that my bj skills are bloody good

And mine!

i'm rubbish at going on top though as i can't find a rhythm and feel like i look like i'm on a bucking bronco

Hahaha, how funny, that's not my greatest position either!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I've pushed boundaries most of my life and had increasing sexual confidence along the way. My first long term partner was a major boost, as I could seemingly do no wrong - (there was plenty wrong). Swinging and clubs is another dimension, with more exhibitionism and flirty fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not sexually confident, i just know what i'm good at and stick to that.

There's a little confidence in there to know what you are good at in the first place, isn't there? I'm confident that my bj skills are bloody good

And mine!

i'm rubbish at going on top though as i can't find a rhythm and feel like i look like i'm on a bucking bronco

I only find it awkward with the more rotund gentleman. Slimmer guys seem to fit my straddle better and I can get a much better action going.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/03/17 20:27:53]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is weird for me. I can't define myself either way; I don't feel confident or Unconfident...

I just am what I am and if I don't like it then I say sorry or just fuck off away from the situation

and if I do like it, then I get stuck in big time (which is the usual outcome) I just don't think about much else, concentration is mainly on the fun stuff!

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not sexually confident, i just know what i'm good at and stick to that.

There's a little confidence in there to know what you are good at in the first place, isn't there? I'm confident that my bj skills are bloody good

And mine!

i'm rubbish at going on top though as i can't find a rhythm and feel like i look like i'm on a bucking bronco

I only find it awkward with the more rotund gentleman. Slimmer guys seem to fit my straddle better and I can get a much better action going.

My big bottom and liking slightly larger guys, not always successful

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its weird one. Im a sexually confident person and have been my whole life i think. Yet im one of the most shy and anxious people in other areas of my life. "

I'm like this too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think when I joined Fab I realised...yes, I can be sexy and yes, people are attracted to me. Prior to Fab, my sex life was pretty vanilla and I had not really experimented with my bi side. I've ticked off a lot since then, and the sex just keeps on getting better....and I keep on getting more and more adventerous....I mean....5 guys at once.....that still blows my fucking mind!!!!

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman over a year ago

Somewhere

"Its weird one. Im a sexually confident person and have been my whole life i think. Yet im one of the most shy and anxious people in other areas of my life.

I'm like this too"

Gosh I am completely opposite from you both . I am very confident at work and my whole life and very strong but sexually .... disaster . I am confident for the camera but meeting someone in real life .... lights off and never make a first move . Shake and waffle to much as I am so nervous .

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

For me I am sexually confident but I am not always that confident going from chatting and laughing to asking people for going to have sex

On Sunday I was really shy in asking someone if they wanted to have sex....they said no which was fine but I was just a bit nervous

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm still trying to find my confidence - doesn't matter how many guys email An compliment - doesn't sink in. Any ideas of how to change?

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

"I'm still trying to find my confidence - doesn't matter how many guys email An compliment - doesn't sink in. Any ideas of how to change?"

Compliments are difficult to accept, i would say a lot of swingers have confidence issues either think ancertain body part isn't nice or why would anyone want to play with me

Take it as a complement and say thanks !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm still trying to find my confidence - doesn't matter how many guys email An compliment - doesn't sink in. Any ideas of how to change?

Compliments are difficult to accept, i would say a lot of swingers have confidence issues either think ancertain body part isn't nice or why would anyone want to play with me

Take it as a complement and say thanks ! "

I have manners an always say thanks ha.

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