FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It's probably just me but....

It's probably just me but....

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's how it is on here, well for a lot of people.

However you can make some good friends along the way tbh

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"That's how it is on here, well for a lot of people.

However you can make some good friends along the way tbh "

Yeah I get that and i have made some friends. Still can't help feeling a little meh sometimes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through?? "

Not a true FWB then. Whilst not in a "relationship" an FWB arrangement still has certain responsibilities to each other, like any other friendship, mainly being caring, respectful and understanding.

Without that, you should then ask who is actually benefiting?

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

I think we all feel like this after a meet.. we get really excited about getting ready and rehearsing what we would say or do .. Then comes the big event .. we flirt ,play and have a great time .. so there will be a come down til the next meeting can be arranged

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through?? "

sex is complex

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yeah these place's can leave you feeling pretty deflated at time's. It's just sex for most isn't it,once they've had that they flee.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Nice to know it's not just me. I'll keep hunting for the illusive real fwb lol

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By *airymagicWoman over a year ago

goblin city

Hmmmm

It's a tricky one, I'm better friends with guys I've not slept with.

But how much friendship do you want after?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aweeee mere you chicken, big hugs*

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

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"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through?? "

you need to be friends before fucking, but how many guys are realistically gonna wait that long and put the effort in?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't feel glum chum .thats how fab works some.times.

I have met some.amazing friends on here and some.wonderful people .

Try not looking to hard and you never know what may turn up.

Have a splendid walk in the hills tomorrow, pooch and I will be

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope not just you, when asked what I'm looking for Im upfront about it ideally regular fwb but nsa, get told there looking for the same then afterwards lucky to get a txt. Fast forward till like 3mths later, get a message out the blue asking how I am etc. Happens over and over gets kind of predictable

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hmmmm

It's a tricky one, I'm better friends with guys I've not slept with.

But how much friendship do you want after? "

I'm not after BFF but to go from regular chats and texts to hardly any but just enough to be kept on the hook is frustrating. Especially if they're a decent shag lol that stings more when I have to tell them to bugger off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For many it's the chase, they'll chase chase chase then once they've had you, onto the next chase. But this is a swinging site and it's how you interprete that. Some would say singles shouldn't even be here, after all we can't swap can we?

But POF is no better so I guess OP you have to decide if you're ok with it or not.

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By *itsmcgee4Couple over a year ago

Central

I tend to have the opposite problem. After we've met some people just keep pestering to meet again constantly when I'd rather they just leave it. I've just realised I'm the type of person the OP is talking about

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I tend to have the opposite problem. After we've met some people just keep pestering to meet again constantly when I'd rather they just leave it. I've just realised I'm the type of person the OP is talking about

Hahaha go easy on those poor boys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through?? "

I can't say I've ever felt this tbh, but then I don't have FWBs or FBs - just a handful of guys that I meet regularly for NSA fun.

Almost all stay in contact, message frequently and arrange to meet me again, and that's as 'friendly' as I like it.

Perhaps you're looking for more than your meets want to give?

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Nope not just you, when asked what I'm looking for Im upfront about it ideally regular fwb but nsa, get told there looking for the same then afterwards lucky to get a txt. Fast forward till like 3mths later, get a message out the blue asking how I am etc. Happens over and over gets kind of predictable "

Ahhhh, I have one of these.

I joked about it and said he sees me as a pair of comfy slippers. Fits well, familiar and reliable. I now say no a lot more.

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

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Ahhhh, I have one of these.

I joked about it and said he sees me as a pair of comfy slippers. Fits well, familiar and reliable. I now say no a lot more.

loads of guys do this. most of the time i don't even reply to them. if they want sex with me like 3 times a year i can't hardly remember them anyway. they come in handy when you're desperate though so i never outright say no.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ahhhh, I have one of these.

I joked about it and said he sees me as a pair of comfy slippers. Fits well, familiar and reliable. I now say no a lot more.

Excalty this, also saying no alot more

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have made it clear on my profile that I want a friend with benefits and had men say they want the same .. until they have had their benefit and then like others on here it all goes quiet. yes it's not a 'dating' site but the so called friends bit should mean there is an element of respect. for me anyway

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

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"I have made it clear on my profile that I want a friend with benefits and had men say they want the same .. until they have had their benefit and then like others on here it all goes quiet. yes it's not a 'dating' site but the so called friends bit should mean there is an element of respect. for me anyway "

this is a players site basically, for singles anyway.

i had a lot of success when i was the player, now i want friendships i'm looking to people i will never fuck coz that is the only way you will get that.

everyone is a usable commodity, unless they are not. sad innit?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What you should do is not give them sex straight away.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

and married people who obviously don't want any type of relationship

I've tried .. think it's time I accepted I'm not gonna find what I'm after on here now. and that way if it ever did happen be a nice surprise

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Be on here long enough and if lucky have a few fwb and I can class them as friends. I still love the highs after a meet so not jaded at all x

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

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"and married people who obviously don't want any type of relationship

I've tried .. think it's time I accepted I'm not gonna find what I'm after on here now. and that way if it ever did happen be a nice surprise "

i would honestly look elsewhere, that's what i'm doing. and not POF either, that's just fab without dick pics.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and married people who obviously don't want any type of relationship

I've tried .. think it's time I accepted I'm not gonna find what I'm after on here now. and that way if it ever did happen be a nice surprise

i would honestly look elsewhere, that's what i'm doing. and not POF either, that's just fab without dick pics.

Haha yeah I worked that one out a long time ago.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and married people who obviously don't want any type of relationship

I've tried .. think it's time I accepted I'm not gonna find what I'm after on here now. and that way if it ever did happen be a nice surprise

i would honestly look elsewhere, that's what i'm doing. and not POF either, that's just fab without dick pics.

I'd give Tinder a miss too that's even worse lol

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

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"and married people who obviously don't want any type of relationship

I've tried .. think it's time I accepted I'm not gonna find what I'm after on here now. and that way if it ever did happen be a nice surprise

i would honestly look elsewhere, that's what i'm doing. and not POF either, that's just fab without dick pics.

Haha yeah I worked that one out a long time ago. "

took me a while to realise. i did wonder why i was so popular on there for ages.

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

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"and married people who obviously don't want any type of relationship

I've tried .. think it's time I accepted I'm not gonna find what I'm after on here now. and that way if it ever did happen be a nice surprise

i would honestly look elsewhere, that's what i'm doing. and not POF either, that's just fab without dick pics.

I'd give Tinder a miss too that's even worse lol "

all my families facebook friends were being recommneded so i deleted that sharpish!!

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Be on here long enough and if lucky have a few fwb and I can class them as friends. I still love the highs after a meet so not jaded at all x"

Same here, it's like a meet reenergises me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through??

I can't say I've ever felt this tbh, but then I don't have FWBs or FBs - just a handful of guys that I meet regularly for NSA fun.

Almost all stay in contact, message frequently and arrange to meet me again, and that's as 'friendly' as I like it.

Perhaps you're looking for more than your meets want to give?"

yes I'm very much the same. But then it takes me a long while to get acquainted with someone before agreeing to meet so that when we do meet we already know we're going to get on. The messages aren't any different after a meet than before. You need to develop a way of meeting that works for you, op,because it doesn't sound like it's working for you. You really shouldn't be left feeling deflated.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's known as 'pump and dump' syndrome very common in these parts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No but I'm in a couple so we fuck each other senseless afterwards and that's generally the best bit. Not sure how I'd feel if I didn't don't have that bit.... probably a bit deflated!

Ruby

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By *ungBlackTopMan over a year ago

salford

I only feel that way after meets because I'm not a total slut. This is why I only meet a small amount of people and meet them multiple times. it's not a relationship of any sorts but I'm more comfortable with that. some folk just want to fuck as many people as possible and that's on them as you get different things from the site but I hear you feeling deflated. Just find someone who thinks the way u do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I must not be the good judge of character I thought I was. Thanks for the advice guys. Biggest lesson I guess is to take more time. I hate being horny and impatient lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I must not be the good judge of character I thought I was. "

Thought that for along time too, think I came to realise I was just too trusting and took people at their word, when really they were misrepresenting who they were and what they were really looking for. I'm much "colder" now and I do feel bad for the genuine guys as feel im just a bit Yeah yeah heard it all before

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

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"I must not be the good judge of character I thought I was.

cynical here also.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sorry, absolutely nothing to do with your thread op, but your username reminds me of a song by the small faces, i like it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"sorry, absolutely nothing to do with your thread op, but your username reminds me of a song by the small faces, i like it

Love the small faces! Weirdly been listening to them a lot lately but it's the name of a everclear album, was listening to that when I joined

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sometimes im on a real high for days especially after a full on party or club visit - then sometimes the drop happens - the other type of high sometimes comes with all the anticipation of a meet you know is going to be wonderful - that high can go on for weeks until you actually get the meet - love all that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"sorry, absolutely nothing to do with your thread op, but your username reminds me of a song by the small faces, i like it

Love the small faces! Weirdly been listening to them a lot lately but it's the name of a everclear album, was listening to that when I joined "

it made me think of the tune afterglow (of your love) if you know it?

not sure i know the song you mean though, might have a peep on line however

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"sorry, absolutely nothing to do with your thread op, but your username reminds me of a song by the small faces, i like it

Love the small faces! Weirdly been listening to them a lot lately but it's the name of a everclear album, was listening to that when I joined

it made me think of the tune afterglow (of your love) if you know it?

not sure i know the song you mean though, might have a peep on line however

Great song.

They're a bit of a mellow, surfer dude rock band, I recommend the sparkle and fade album though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"sorry, absolutely nothing to do with your thread op, but your username reminds me of a song by the small faces, i like it

Love the small faces! Weirdly been listening to them a lot lately but it's the name of a everclear album, was listening to that when I joined

it made me think of the tune afterglow (of your love) if you know it?

not sure i know the song you mean though, might have a peep on line however

Great song.

They're a bit of a mellow, surfer dude rock band, I recommend the sparkle and fade album though "

thankyou, i'll check it out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through?? "

Don't think about it i'm usally driving away

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through??

Don't think about it i'm usually driving away

"
.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dopamine withdrawal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through?? "

I hate that too. I guess some meets are just that.

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By *oxic1998Woman over a year ago

Belfast

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through??

Not a true FWB then. Whilst not in a "relationship" an FWB arrangement still has certain responsibilities to each other, like any other friendship, mainly being caring, respectful and understanding.

Without that, you should then ask who is actually benefiting? "

Totally agree with this......if you haven't got this with a fwb then it's time to walk

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Does anyone else feel a bit deflated after a meet?

I know this isn't a dating site but I thought the fwb thing would include the friends bit too. Seems once the benefit is gotten the rest disappears. Where's the follow through?? "

You are trying to buy friends by offering sex.

Develop the friendship first if friends are what you want.

Fucks are fucks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

must be me but I'm always happy to see them go after we have done the deed...BUT we always keep in touch so its never too much of a downer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I must not be the good judge of character I thought I was.

cynical here also. "

and here

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I've had it sometimes but my filtering and ultra slow time from contact to first meets can eliminate many who won't be as connected or affectionate/friendly.

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