FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Doesn't life grind you down sometimes - Part 2
Doesn't life grind you down sometimes - Part 2
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So the first thread may have filled, but that wallowing in your woes doesn't help any more. Remember, this isn't necessarily a thread to elicit sympathy, unless the poster requests it, but rather a thread to acknowledge that sometimes you just need a little wallow in your own woes, if only to realise how lucky you are. With that in mind, wallow away... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And to borrow from a combination of posters from the previous thread's thoughts, you may find it easier to describe your feelings using this easy to follow scale:
Tigger - well we all get Tigger's disposition, right? Pooh - approximates a happy medium
Eeyore - well we all get Eeyore's disposition, right? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm having an Eyeore day 
Do you know why?
Different reasons. I have my support in place x"
Excellent, well you know what I mean. Embrace, let you support do their supporting and come back in Tigger mode  |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"I'm having an Eyeore day
Do you know why?
Different reasons. I have my support in place x
Excellent, well you know what I mean. Embrace, let you support do their supporting and come back in Tigger mode "
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes. When life's hectic and at its hardest. Just drive or walk somewhere quiet. Sit alone in the quiet and have 10 minutes to yourself. Can make a lot of difference in difficult situations |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Okay, I've just caught myself falling in to my own trap of wanting to help when I should be just letting you be... wallowing, embracing the shit with a view of knowing deep down that it wlll get better or you will need to reach out. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"but I dream of being somewhere away from everything ... where no one can take take take .. and not one fucker gives anything back "
chin I will give you a gummy bear and ask for nothing back in return how's that sound |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but I dream of being somewhere away from everything ... where no one can take take take .. and not one fucker gives anything back
chin I will give you a gummy bear and ask for nothing back in return how's that sound "
if I thought sucking on something would make my life easier .. I would be having so much more fun than I am on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a wallow. Now I'm tackling it head on and not letting it stop me enjoy my life. For each crap moment there is a good one ahead. Just have to make a it happen |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"well the good thing about feeling down is that one is likely to feel better soon... there is only so much shit at the time! and sometimes it is amazing to see who really cares and supports!!"
Or doesn't really... |
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"well the good thing about feeling down is that one is likely to feel better soon... there is only so much shit at the time! and sometimes it is amazing to see who really cares and supports!!
Or doesn't really..."
true. but at least you know then!! |
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Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger"
You really need to read some blogs about depression before you say stuff like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger"
If only it were that easy. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Not something you can just snap out of although those who suffer with depression wish it were possible I'm sure!!! Sadly people are more understanding of things they can see. . A broken leg or paralysis and people are understanding but invisible illnesses and people think it's all made up!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wallowing isn't a bad thing. I think it's often necessary, and unfortunately often unavoidable. I also think that perhaps it's misunderstood. You can still hang on to chunks of happiness while wallowing. That doesn't mean you always will, but you can. Forced, false positivity can be a bad, unhelpful thing, often worse than wallowing. Give yourself the chance to process whatever it is that's happening to you or around you.
The really tricky bit, the bit that often gets blurred, is knowing when you might need to, or should, ask for help.
Thank you all. |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Sometimes. When life's hectic and at its hardest. Just drive or walk somewhere quiet. Sit alone in the quiet and have 10 minutes to yourself. Can make a lot of difference in difficult situations"
My boiler packed up
My wifi is down
My sink is blocked
My washing machine packed up
And my car failed the mot
Been catching busses or walking everywhere.
I'm really enjoying the walking part though
Mr car will be fixed Monday and I'm still going to continue walking as it's doing me good
No wallowing in self pity here |
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I'm not wallowing in self pity. Not today at least. "I can't do this anymore" enters into my head sometimes because I've not had a moment of no pain for over 2 years. I get Eeyore like when I realise I'll never climb mountains and hike through woods. The Eeyore in me says I'll be on crutches forever. The Owl in me says I will figure out new ways of doing things. The Pooh in me says eat sweets and be happy. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"but I dream of being somewhere away from everything ... where no one can take take take .. and not one fucker gives anything back
chin I will give you a gummy bear and ask for nothing back in return how's that sound
if I thought sucking on something would make my life easier .. I would be having so much more fun than I am on here "
its not sucking you need its a save but risky pair of hands and a playful engaging mind willing to chaperone you into debauchery for purely the fun of it xxx |
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"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger
If only it were that easy. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Not something you can just snap out of although those who suffer with depression wish it were possible I'm sure!!! Sadly people are more understanding of things they can see. . A broken leg or paralysis and people are understanding but invisible illnesses and people think it's all made up!!!"
I'm sure that some people have the medical imbalance and are genuine but in a previous job I saw people on CCTV laughing and joking in reception then pretending to be so depressed that they can't work when being assessed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger
If only it were that easy. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Not something you can just snap out of although those who suffer with depression wish it were possible I'm sure!!! Sadly people are more understanding of things they can see. . A broken leg or paralysis and people are understanding but invisible illnesses and people think it's all made up!!!
I'm sure that some people have the medical imbalance and are genuine but in a previous job I saw people on CCTV laughing and joking in reception then pretending to be so depressed that they can't work when being assessed "
But it's unfair to judge everyone based on those few who were playing the system. It's an entirely different issue. Also with depression you become very clever at appearing ok when inside you're anything but ok so don't always judge a book by its cover. |
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"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger
If only it were that easy. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Not something you can just snap out of although those who suffer with depression wish it were possible I'm sure!!! Sadly people are more understanding of things they can see. . A broken leg or paralysis and people are understanding but invisible illnesses and people think it's all made up!!!
I'm sure that some people have the medical imbalance and are genuine but in a previous job I saw people on CCTV laughing and joking in reception then pretending to be so depressed that they can't work when being assessed
But it's unfair to judge everyone based on those few who were playing the system. It's an entirely different issue. Also with depression you become very clever at appearing ok when inside you're anything but ok so don't always judge a book by its cover. "
I did say I'm sure some people have the chemical imbalance don't worry in every situation in life I make my own mind up about people despite what others tell me about them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone has an escape.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Yes stuff gets you down as much as you let it.
Some people can be their own worst enemy. Those are the ones who can't see how good they have it.
I see more than I say about people on here as they have to learn for themselves.
Just need to remember that at the end of the day you are only responsible for your own actions not those of others!
Now off to my escape |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Everyone has an escape.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Yes stuff gets you down as much as you let it.
Some people can be their own worst enemy. Those are the ones who can't see how good they have it.
I see more than I say about people on here as they have to learn for themselves.
Just need to remember that at the end of the day you are only responsible for your own actions not those of others!
Now off to my escape "
well put  and totally correct about you not being responsible for the actions of others or how the choose to interact with you and treat you . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone has an escape.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Yes stuff gets you down as much as you let it.
Some people can be their own worst enemy. Those are the ones who can't see how good they have it.
I see more than I say about people on here as they have to learn for themselves.
Just need to remember that at the end of the day you are only responsible for your own actions not those of others!
Now off to my escape
well put and totally correct about you not being responsible for the actions of others or how the choose to interact with you and treat you ."
Thanks hun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone has an escape.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Yes stuff gets you down as much as you let it.
Some people can be their own worst enemy. Those are the ones who can't see how good they have it.
I see more than I say about people on here as they have to learn for themselves.
Just need to remember that at the end of the day you are only responsible for your own actions not those of others!
Now off to my escape "
You see words on a screen, that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Life can be hard sometimes but also very good too, we all experience hard times but it's how we deal with it that makes us stronger the support of our love ones friends can get you through anything, the past 6yrs of my life have been very tough but I'm still here thanks to family and friends and the odd stranger that's just listened |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger
If only it were that easy. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Not something you can just snap out of although those who suffer with depression wish it were possible I'm sure!!! Sadly people are more understanding of things they can see. . A broken leg or paralysis and people are understanding but invisible illnesses and people think it's all made up!!!
I'm sure that some people have the medical imbalance and are genuine but in a previous job I saw people on CCTV laughing and joking in reception then pretending to be so depressed that they can't work when being assessed
But it's unfair to judge everyone based on those few who were playing the system. It's an entirely different issue. Also with depression you become very clever at appearing ok when inside you're anything but ok so don't always judge a book by its cover. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger
If only it were that easy. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Not something you can just snap out of although those who suffer with depression wish it were possible I'm sure!!! Sadly people are more understanding of things they can see. . A broken leg or paralysis and people are understanding but invisible illnesses and people think it's all made up!!!
I'm sure that some people have the medical imbalance and are genuine but in a previous job I saw people on CCTV laughing and joking in reception then pretending to be so depressed that they can't work when being assessed
But it's unfair to judge everyone based on those few who were playing the system. It's an entirely different issue. Also with depression you become very clever at appearing ok when inside you're anything but ok so don't always judge a book by its cover. "
seeing someone laughing and appearing to be having a good time don't mean there not suffering from depression that's just being nieve , depression is a invisible illness, some ppl put on a brave face in front of others but inside there cracking up, to assume is the worst thing you can do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger
If only it were that easy. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Not something you can just snap out of although those who suffer with depression wish it were possible I'm sure!!! Sadly people are more understanding of things they can see. . A broken leg or paralysis and people are understanding but invisible illnesses and people think it's all made up!!!"
I totally agree with you very well put |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wallowing keeps things real...as does having a bloody good cry!"
Yes, this! And it's not necessarily about wallowing in self-pity. I think there's an argument to be made that self-pity and feeling woeful aren't the same thing.
So for me to wallow is to accept the situation, or at least try to, before trying to figure out what the next move is.
Of course, for many it isn't always that easy and you may need help, whether that be from friends, family or professionals.The biggest post-wallow hurdle will likely be getting to the point that you can ask for it.
Also, I don't necessarily see wallowing as a gateway to more serious situations.
After all, there are many things/feelings that just cannot control regardless of what many may have achieved by employing 'pull yourself together' attitude. And this isn't me knocking you, far from it, I'm very happy for you, but please respect that each situation is relatively unique to that person.
Thank you for sharing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not wallowing in self pity. Not today at least. "I can't do this anymore" enters into my head sometimes because I've not had a moment of no pain for over 2 years. I get Eeyore like when I realise I'll never climb mountains and hike through woods. The Eeyore in me says I'll be on crutches forever. The Owl in me says I will figure out new ways of doing things. The Pooh in me says eat sweets and be happy. "
I love the addition of Owl, thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Read the story of Bradley lowery and hundreds of children like him and ask yourself if your problems really are a massive problem.
To you they might be but in the grand scheme they probably aren't.
Life's to dam short to be eeyore so get out there and be tigger"
I get where you going with this, I think, but I don't think it's healthy to compare any situation you find yourself in to those of others. Of course, I'm talking about emotions here. After all, doing so may inadvertently lead to you exacerbating any feelings of self-loathing, belittling your situation. That helps no one. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People piss me off.
I've deleted nearly all "social" media due to fake facades, I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere.
Her "
I love that you've embraced this and run with your solution. Perfect. Do you feel better for it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People piss me off.
I've deleted nearly all "social" media due to fake facades, I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere.
Her
I love that you've embraced this and run with your solution. Perfect. Do you feel better for it?"
A little, it's frustrating being viewed as a bitch just because I don't subscribe to the typical female 'awww babe x' bullshit.
I call it as I see it and means I'm often left out in the cold |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A little, it's frustrating being viewed as a bitch just because I don't subscribe to the typical female 'awww babe x' bullshit.
I call it as I see it and means I'm often left out in the cold "
Or you could think of it as been released to make your own way? |
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A very interesting thread OP
I'm naturally very positive and an optimist. I look for the sliver lining in things as that makes me feel good.
However, there are days, times, situations when positivity can't cover sadness or disappointment. And in these times I think it is best to accept this.
Feeling down means you can get back up, so a short wallow in self pity or a good cry can be just what you need.
If the sadness/downer doesn't begin to lift then that's where things can become a problem. If things continue to spiral downwards then that can indicate a mental problem. One that might need professional help.
So I'd say be positive but embrace your little upsets. If they turn into big downers then ask for help.
Just my thoughts |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"They say whisky slows you down, clouds up your thinking,
As long as they make whisky,
I say; keep on drinking,
As long as life keeps hitting hard,
Drink'll Help you take it,
As long as we drink whiskey,
They'll continue to make it" |
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