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The most embarassing/funny sex thing that happened to you!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Share your war stories comrades! 
Ok;
So, I was busy playing solo when I got distracted and hit myself in both eyes with spunk, that never happened before! 
Blinded! And naturally the bathroom was occupied for a further ten minutes.
tl;dr Moral Lesson: Far from masturbation causing short-sightedness, wearing glasses may in fact rescue you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh, they are cringe-worthy so far! Anybody care to top them 
Funniest thing that happened to me, was I somehow lost a condom while thrusting away, I wouldn't have believed it possible, but there you go. One minute it was there, the next it was gone!
We never found it afterwards either, searched the whole bed and everything.
In the end, I was looking quizzically at her vagina, wondering if she'd somehow sucked it off me, and she gave me a haughty look and said "No way!"  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"In the end, I was looking quizzically at her vagina, wondering if she'd somehow sucked it off me, and she gave me a haughty look and said "No way!" "
Then two weeks later she wondered why she kept getting infections up her vagoo.
I've done all of these - kept a condom or two, queefed, farted, been caught by various parents. I think sex is a messy business involving putting things in body holes and sometimes those holes are going to fight back. Anal is especially fraught with horribleness. Go with the flow is what I say! |
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Was snogging a lass & both eating each others face when I got the tip of my tounge stuck in her 'invisible' - not, brace
Ripped of a few tastebuds after a min or two
That should have been a warning as the same thing happened during oral sex only wasn't my tastebuds that got ripped |
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"I passed out and an ambulance was almost called
i was there then and i thought you had died of a heart attack ....always biting off more than you can chew lmao "
Oh you know I don't bite, just savour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quite funny in that it was accidental exhibitionism, lovely hotel suite with skylight window, it had a blind, never bothered closing it, great fun night, but in morning realised skylight window faced all the upper floors of hotel, oops,lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got caught by my dad fingering my girlfriend when I was about 14.
We had a pub and when I went downstairs I got a standing ovation
The fucker had told everyone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got caught by my dad fingering my girlfriend when I was about 14.
We had a pub and when I went downstairs I got a standing ovation
The fucker had told everyone"
LOL, good memories! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Quite funny in that it was accidental exhibitionism, lovely hotel suite with skylight window, it had a blind, never bothered closing it, great fun night, but in morning realised skylight window faced all the upper floors of hotel, oops,lol "
Oh, I can top that.
I worked as a window cleaner during the summer when I was saving up $$$ for university.
One day, I bought my ladder along to a house, I was told they'd be away so just get on with cleaning and leave an invoice afterwards etc.
I perched the ladder onto the back 2nd floor window ledge and climbed up with my applicator and squeegee in tow, my nose against the glass, only to find a woman on the bed fucking a guy in the arse with a strap-on 
I froze for a second that lasted an eternity, and then I attempted to clamber off the ladder, but the movement attracted their attention and there was a scream!
I never ran so fast with a steel ladder in my life! Wrong fucking house number! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Quite funny in that it was accidental exhibitionism, lovely hotel suite with skylight window, it had a blind, never bothered closing it, great fun night, but in morning realised skylight window faced all the upper floors of hotel, oops,lol
Oh, I can top that.
I worked as a window cleaner during the summer when I was saving up $$$ for university.
One day, I bought my ladder along to a house, I was told they'd be away so just get on with cleaning and leave an invoice afterwards etc.
I perched the ladder onto the back 2nd floor window ledge and climbed up with my applicator and squeegee in tow, my nose against the glass, only to find a woman on the bed fucking a guy in the arse with a strap-on
I froze for a second that lasted an eternity, and then I attempted to clamber off the ladder, but the movement attracted their attention and there was a scream!
I never ran so fast with a steel ladder in my life! Wrong fucking house number!"
haha thats fucking awsome! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got seen of a couple of RAF officers while i was getting busy wiv a lad i know who was in raf on raf northholt was more shocked when they asked if they could join in i almost bite the guys cock off haha |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
Sort of embarrassing in a way.
My first big munch. I`d volunteered to do door duties. One couple were having a full blown argument in the pub with the female repeatedly going out of the door of the pub, slamming the door then coming back in and having another go at the male. He ended up sat on the step of the pub sobbing his eyes out as she`d apparently ended up leaving him. Thankfully there were other people around showing concern for both of these people incase it got nasty as I wouldn`t have known how to interviene if at all! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Loving it...
My father caught me on the magic wand
other than that during an out door excursion, i did a fanny fart that echod off the hills.
"
xD ("But you're a gurl! :O") |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not too sure if its embaressing or more shocked...... we were with another couple and i was doing my cowgirl and grabbing his chest .. i noticed some patches of missing hair .. so after the ultimate oragasm i asked what happened to his hair he said just if it didnt matter 'oh thats where they had the heart monitors after i had my heart attack'..!!!!
i thought i dont know cpr anything could have happened..!  |
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"
xD ("But you're a gurl! :O")"
I know.(supposed to be ladylike but failed - though think muddy field & 4 inch heels may have helped with that)
Im sure lights came on in the houses surronding the fiend....or was that paranoya!
As for the wand....did he think i was shaving at 3am? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
xD ("But you're a gurl! :O")
I know.(supposed to be ladylike but failed - though think muddy field & 4 inch heels may have helped with that)
Im sure lights came on in the houses surronding the fiend....or was that paranoya!
As for the wand....did he think i was shaving at 3am? "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
xD ("But you're a gurl! :O")
I know.(supposed to be ladylike but failed - though think muddy field & 4 inch heels may have helped with that)
Im sure lights came on in the houses surronding the fiend....or was that paranoya!
As for the wand....did he think i was shaving at 3am? "
LOL, poor girly, and to be sure that's what he *wants* to believe |
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Ever a gentleman I pretended not to notice but she was so embarressed, I think she suffered worse than I,
Tom xx xx