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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After 2 marriage break downs I find I'm left with practically no friends. At times like these it becomes apparent just how important your family can be, not for everyone obviously, but in my case they have been very supportive.
My quandry is this, due to many reasons I have not had contact with my eldest daughter, who is 19 next month, for 8 years and of course this has hurt every day. Recently she went, with her younger sister and mother, to see my Mum for the first time in that 8 years. I have just found her on Facebook and she has been in the local paper due to a project she has done at university and I don't know whether to send her a message or not.
I know this isn't the ideal place to ask such important questions but I'm interested on your opinions.
Thank you
Roy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wat do u have 2 loose wi getting in touch her, she may regect you and ur feelings may b hurt, but surly that a risk worth taking, 2 reconect with ur daughter. Im giving this advice from being in the same postion as ur daughter, 2day me and my dad av a wonderful relationship, and im so glad he contacted me, after being absent from my life 4 many yrs. Hope this helps.xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would maybe send her a wee message, congratulating her on her picture in the paper, and tell her that you haven't stopped thinking about her or ever stopped missing her.
Then leave it down to her
xx |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"After 2 marriage break downs I find I'm left with practically no friends. At times like these it becomes apparent just how important your family can be, not for everyone obviously, but in my case they have been very supportive.
My quandry is this, due to many reasons I have not had contact with my eldest daughter, who is 19 next month, for 8 years and of course this has hurt every day. Recently she went, with her younger sister and mother, to see my Mum for the first time in that 8 years. I have just found her on Facebook and she has been in the local paper due to a project she has done at university and I don't know whether to send her a message or not.
I know this isn't the ideal place to ask such important questions but I'm interested on your opinions.
Thank
Roy"
If you like talk to me in private... to protect you that is. I am professional but dont mind helping out |
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Go for it Roy, if you don't you will always wonder.
Just a simple message of congrats and take it from there.
if nothing else she will know you are thinking of her and it may encourage her to contact you.
Just take it slowly, hope it works out for you
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tricky one honey, best thing is to do is go with your gut feelings. As you have raised it on here I think you maybe just need a little reassurence in you are doing the right thing. No one can tell you that what you do is right or wrong. follow your heart and good luck xxxx |
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I dont think you have anything to loose by it, in fact there is only things to gain. If your daughter realizes your on facebook or knows that you are aware of her achievements and havent been in touch it could be very hurtful for her.
Even if she decides (hopefully not) that she doesnt want to be in contact with you, you will have peace of mind knowing that you tried.
The hardest thing is for you to make that first step of contact with her.
I have had something similar with my father and i know that the first step is the hardest.
Good luckxxkarenx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go for it hun, like someone else said, "what do you have to lose ?"
this at least could be the start and if it isnt then you cant say you didnt try.
i havent spoke to my son for nearly 5 yrs, well he hasnt spoke to me .
He is in america and i have no contact details, address, nothing.
He is my only son and he changed bigtime when he met and married some gal over there and joined a cult.
So grab each chance thats offered hun as i know how painful it can be.
ok...off me box now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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one thing you have got to be ready for is if you do decide to contact her is shes going to want to know why you have neglected her for the past 8 years!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I would like to thank you all for your input, the general feeling is to go for it and I have had the Facebook page open for nearly 4 hours hovering over the 'invite as a friend' button but still not pressed it.
If you invite as a friend do you get the opportunity to write a message or does it just send an invite? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally my advice is don't do it on facebook!! I dont know the surrounding circumstances but she may find it a bit of a feable attempt to make contact after 8 years that way... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally my advice is don't do it on facebook!! I dont know the surrounding circumstances but she may find it a bit of a feable attempt to make contact after 8 years that way..."
I see your point, but I don't have any other contact details.
Anyway, I'm going to take a deep breath and go for it. |
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I share el nino's view about Facebook not being the best way but, if it's the only way, go for it. You clearly want to get in touch - you were looking for her on Facebook after all - and it's maybe better to know how you stand in her eyes that not, even if the answer isn't the one you're hoping for.
I hope things go well for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a tricky one. Am just going through a divorce myself so i know how difficult things can get. I obviously dont know how your relationship with your mum is but perhaps if you could ask her to pass a letter on for you. Im not a fan of facebook i think it does more harm than good but thats my experience of it. Good luck anyway. |
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By *ayceeCouple
over a year ago
northampton |
"Of course you send a massage hun.
Life travels pretty quick when your a kid , but am sure she hasnt forgotten you and may really appreciate the nudge."
Massage on the brain Debz?? 
Roy, I would contact if that is the only way to do it. Then leave it to her to make further contact. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all again for your kind words of advice, encouragement and caution.
I have just this minute sent a message and to be honest feel quite sick. I will let you all know if or when I get a reply.
Thank you
Roy xx |
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