#1.
It's never appropriate for a heterosexual male to look another heterosexual male in the eye whilst eating a banana.
#2
As above, a heterosexual female must not look a fellow heterosexual female in the whilst licking the filling of cream out of an enclair/cream egg.
#3
Cucumber and vasiline should never be part of the same transaction.
#4
When purchasing duct tape and cable ties, you must not pass comment on 'how expensive kidnapping has become' (I learnt this the hard way at B&Q once with an over zealous checkout girl with a sense of humour disorder)
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
If you are the designated driver, when stopped by the boys in blue at 3am opening the window and saying "Yefshh occifer what can I doos for you?" Will probably get you a free go in the blow box & a stern talking to..
A serious amount of ribbing from all your pissed mates too.
Some people have no sense of humour! It wasn't even cold or raining! 
S |
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"Love number 4
What happened? "
I used to tour manage club events and festivals. One particular weekend I had nipped to the local B&Q to buy said items. £15.98 shows up and I said "16 quid!! Jesus you wouldn't have thought kidnapping some one would be so expensive" I paid and went to walk out only for the security gorilla to stop me at the door. I show him my receipt to prove I'd paid and he said "I just need you to wait here sir" after a few moments of me asking what's going on a police car pulls in blues and twos on the lot. Thankfully I know the Sgt that turned up very well, she found it funny as hell.  |
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"Always check the date before agreeing to an after business dinner appointment with a male colleague.
Feb 14th in a small Italian restaurant is not an acceptable date 
S"
You sure he wasn't hoping for a full service dinner date? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always check the date before agreeing to an after business dinner appointment with a male colleague.
Feb 14th in a small Italian restaurant is not an acceptable date
S"
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#5 Men must never but soft furnishings such as cushions whilst with another male friend.
