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Walked in on my girlfriend at an awkward moment

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By *ade_of_Stars OP Couple over a year ago

Whitburn

So I walked in on my girlfriend at an awkward moment. She was on the sofa fucking herself with a 10 inch cucumber.

"For fucks sake Sarah, I was going to eat that later" I said, "...and now it's going to taste like cucumber!"

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

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By *riccartmanxxxMan over a year ago

Under your bed

Hope u finshed her off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Haha! Funny

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple over a year ago

chingford

Hilary asked me to fetch her a cucumber from the fridge.

So I started to slice it up

She got angry and shouted at me

"My cunt ain't a slot machine you know"

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By *ade_of_Stars OP Couple over a year ago

Whitburn

"Hilary asked me to fetch her a cucumber from the fridge.

So I started to slice it up

She got angry and shouted at me

"My cunt ain't a slot machine you know" "

Well played

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple over a year ago

chingford

"Hilary asked me to fetch her a cucumber from the fridge.

So I started to slice it up

She got angry and shouted at me

"My cunt ain't a slot machine you know"

Well played"

And to you sir

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By *ushandkittyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

I walked past a greengrocers and the sign said 'Loose cucumbers 3 for £2'.

I thought 'Ooh I better get some whilst they have them in Kitty's size!'

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By *uckOfTheBayMan over a year ago

Mold

Do people actually eat them ?

The only time I buy a cucumber is when I feed the tortoise

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What's long , hard and has cum in the middle?

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By *acavityMan over a year ago

Redditch

It's a wonderful day for sticking a cucumber through the letter box and shouting "the Martians are coming"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well

Both taste good

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So I walked in on my girlfriend at an awkward moment. She was on the sofa fucking herself with a 10 inch cucumber.

"For fucks sake Sarah, I was going to eat that later" I said, "...and now it's going to taste like cucumber!""

Hahaha good 1

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I went to see 50 shades the other night and got a text telling me not to leave my cucumber in the cinema...from my niece

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reminds me of a story from my exs, ex inlaws. One of the cousins was getting a bit amorous with a cucumber, and they can have tiny hairs on them. Well one of them got stuck inside her and got infected... Moral of the story... Don't take it out of the shrink wrap, or rewrap it...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So I walked in on my girlfriend at an awkward moment. She was on the sofa fucking herself with a 10 inch cucumber.

"For fucks sake Sarah, I was going to eat that later" I said, "...and now it's going to taste like cucumber!""

Brilliant

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