FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The male straightness questionnaire
The male straightness questionnaire
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think with all this confusion about straight guys being contacted by bi guys and bi guys being contacted by straight guys, that before a single male profile can be set at 'straight' new male members should have to complete a questionnaire on joining.
These questionnaires are then marked by a panel of 'Fabperts' who, in turn, decide on what sexuality status is tagged to the profile.
So, between us, can we come up with a series of questions that will make up said document ?
We will start off with :
1. Have you sat through at least one whole episode of Sex and the City and enjoyed it ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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3. Before leaving a meets house, do you
a) wipe your cock on the curtains, or
b) make sure they are hanging properly and the tie backs are symmetrical |
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"Trick question :
Who is better : Erasure or Bronski Beat ?"
There is a singer in our local every 6 weeks or so.
By the end of the night he goes all jimmy Somerville and Andy Bell.
It's hilarious watching men in their 50's having a dance about to this music.
You'd swear you'd entered the gay twilight zone
It's the best night out ever.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now, were the curtains formula red or sunset orange?
If sunset orange, I would imagine the carpet to be no other than galaxy purple in which case my chestnut brown leather brogues would look silly  |
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"Met a lot of straight guys in my time-paras Marines, bareknuckle fighters, firemen, martial arts experts, 2 Cage fighters, builders, etc. One thing in common- they see femininity where it exists.X"
ive met quite a few marine commandos in the past |
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"Met a lot of straight guys in my time-paras Marines, bareknuckle fighters, firemen, martial arts experts, 2 Cage fighters, builders, etc. One thing in common- they see femininity where it exists.X
ive met quite a few marine commandos in the past "
lovely, aren't they baby.xx |
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People should be able to self-identify their sexual orientation. My attachments that measure penile tumescence, whilst undergoing sexual exposure, coupled with brain scanning is more than enough to back up their selections. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You have a new male colleague at work, do you :
a) shake him firmly by the hand and offer any help you can, or
b) follow him to the loo at break time and check his cock out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You visit the house of a friend for the first time, what do you notice first ?
a) the size of the telly and how much tech they have, or
b) the contents of their spice rack, or
c) which flavours of Nespresso pods they use |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have a free afternoon to watch TV, which do you choose :
a) Golden Girls
b) Steel Magnolias
c) The Six Nations Rugby
I'm not sure there is a straight answer to that one. "
Fair point |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you like sucking another mans cock?
Do you enjoy being fucked up the arse or fucking another man's arse?
I think these would questions would give a definitive answer in all honesty. "
Do you think you 'might' enjoy ... is probably a better approach
A lot of messages we get are from Fab curious guys - although, confusingly, one of them had 8 veris, all from men  |
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"I think with all this confusion about straight guys being contacted by bi guys and bi guys being contacted by straight guys, that before a single male profile can be set at 'straight' new male members should have to complete a questionnaire on joining.
These questionnaires are then marked by a panel of 'Fabperts' who, in turn, decide on what sexuality status is tagged to the profile.
So, between us, can we come up with a series of questions that will make up said document ?
We will start off with :
1. Have you sat through at least one whole episode of Sex and the City and enjoyed it ?
"
No |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have cushions on your chairs/sofa?
"
Yes. But they're un matched and on a sofa in a shed surrounded by tools. I can reach a chainsaw and a ferret from where I am so ya know..I figure it adds balance to the cushions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have a free afternoon to watch TV, which do you choose :
a) Golden Girls
b) Steel Magnolias
c) The Six Nations Rugby"
Golden Girls  ain't seen it in years and the others are crap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think this questionnaire is floored.
Firstly I have scatter cushions
Was it a shade of red or orange....they all look the same
I've done the sex and the city tour of New York
I don't really understand the cage fighter/marine comment.
I would've thought the questionnaire or test only needs two questions....
Are you attracted to the same sex?
Would you have sex with some one of the same sex?
Failing that, I'd go with....when you have a bad day, do you cry in to a tub of ice cream whilst watching made in Manhattan? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think this questionnaire is floored.
Firstly I have scatter cushions
Was it a shade of red or orange....they all look the same
I've done the sex and the city tour of New York
I don't really understand the cage fighter/marine comment.
I would've thought the questionnaire or test only needs two questions....
Are you attracted to the same sex?
Would you have sex with some one of the same sex?
Failing that, I'd go with....when you have a bad day, do you cry in to a tub of ice cream whilst watching made in Manhattan? "
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"Trick question :
Who is better : Erasure or Bronski Beat ?
There is a singer in our local every 6 weeks or so.
By the end of the night he goes all jimmy Somerville and Andy Bell.
It's hilarious watching men in their 50's having a dance about to this music.
You'd swear you'd entered the gay twilight zone
It's the best night out ever.
"
Sounds bloody brilliant.
Have I failed the test? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Trick question :
Who is better : Erasure or Bronski Beat ?
There is a singer in our local every 6 weeks or so.
By the end of the night he goes all jimmy Somerville and Andy Bell.
It's hilarious watching men in their 50's having a dance about to this music.
You'd swear you'd entered the gay twilight zone
It's the best night out ever.
Sounds bloody brilliant.
Have I failed the test?"
Just one last test
Do you, or have you ever, owned a 'Frankie says Relax' t-shirt ? |
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"Trick question :
It's hilarious watching men in their 50's having a dance about to this music.
You'd swear you'd entered the gay twilight zone
It's the best night out ever.
Sounds bloody brilliant.
Have I failed the test?
Just one last test
Do you, or have you ever, owned a 'Frankie says Relax' t-shirt ?"
No, though I did have an Ipswich Town FC shirt. Which is probably worse. |
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"Do you like sucking another mans cock?
Do you enjoy being fucked up the arse or fucking another man's arse?
I think these would questions would give a definitive answer in all honesty. "
No.
Not really. Very much yes |
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"You visit the house of a friend for the first time, what do you notice first ?
a) the size of the telly and how much tech they have, or
b) the contents of their spice rack, or
c) which flavours of Nespresso pods they use "
Always go to the toilet - it's the most revealing room in anyone's house |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trick question :
Who is better : Erasure or Bronski Beat ?
There is a singer in our local every 6 weeks or so.
By the end of the night he goes all jimmy Somerville and Andy Bell.
It's hilarious watching men in their 50's having a dance about to this music.
You'd swear you'd entered the gay twilight zone
It's the best night out ever.
Sounds bloody brilliant.
Have I failed the test?
Just one last test
Do you, or have you ever, owned a 'Frankie says Relax' t-shirt ?"
You forgot "Do you stuff two balloons up your top at parties and dance around pretending to be Dolly Parton?"
Or "Drink pints at the bar all night?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1)Do you suck or get your cock sucked by a male/tv.
2)Do you give or recieve anal to a male/tv.
Surely thise two questions will beat asking any other if they answer yes to either then clearly bisexual.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I might be gay. 
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first. "
I can help. I have small hands  |
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"1)Do you suck or get your cock sucked by a male/tv.
2)Do you give or recieve anal to a male/tv.
Surely thise two questions will beat asking any other if they answer yes to either then clearly bisexual.
"
well I've met some who have done both 1 and 2 and they still insist they are straight with some its more of a mental block . |
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"I think I might be gay.
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first.
I can help. I have small hands "
Are you Donald Trump?
|
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"I think I might be gay.
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first.
I can help. I have small hands "
I have a picture in my head of you on his back in a Stetson and spurs. It's not helping me get any work done... |
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"Is that nice sounding car that just passed you on the motorway
A. Red
B. A Mercedes Benz
C. An MB AMG C63 with options pack.
S"
Meaningless to me. A car is something with 4 wheels that someone else drives me from A to B in. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Is that nice sounding car that just passed you on the motorway
A. Red
B. A Mercedes Benz
C. An MB AMG C63 with options pack.
S
Meaningless to me. A car is something with 4 wheels that someone else drives me from A to B in."
Weirdo
S |
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"Is that nice sounding car that just passed you on the motorway
A. Red
B. A Mercedes Benz
C. An MB AMG C63 with options pack.
S
Meaningless to me. A car is something with 4 wheels that someone else drives me from A to B in.
Weirdo
S"
You say that like it's a bad thing?
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think I might be gay.
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first.
I can help. I have small hands
Are you Donald Trump?
"
My hair would suggest not. |
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"I think I might be gay.
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first.
I can help. I have small hands
Are you Donald Trump?
My hair would suggest not. "
Thank fudge for that. Never can be too sure on t'internet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think I might be gay.
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first.
I can help. I have small hands
I have a picture in my head of you on his back in a Stetson and spurs. It's not helping me get any work done..."
Spurs? You pervert! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think I might be gay.
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first.
I can help. I have small hands
Are you Donald Trump?
My hair would suggest not.
Thank fudge for that. Never can be too sure on t'internet"
I have boobs too |
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"I think I might be gay.
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first.
I can help. I have small hands
Are you Donald Trump?
My hair would suggest not.
Thank fudge for that. Never can be too sure on t'internet
I have boobs too "
So does he |
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"I think I might be gay.
You might get laid then
Can I watch?
Pleeeeeeease!
I don't think Lib is ready for me.
He'd need training and breaking in first.
I can help. I have small hands
Are you Donald Trump?
My hair would suggest not.
Thank fudge for that. Never can be too sure on t'internet
I have boobs too "
so does The-Donald. |
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