FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A to Z of unacceptable excuses for meets
A to Z of unacceptable excuses for meets
Jump to: Newest in thread
They don't need to be excuses that you have used |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
If it does happen, it's probably because I've been out on the razz for 4-5 days already and I just over-reached myself.
Rare.
Man of my word. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
c
cock fell off in the car. no idea how. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dick fell off.... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
C chafed |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
e
eggs replaced my eyes and idk how to get to yours |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Elephants blocking the road, can't make it, soz |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
F:
For fuck's sake! The other half's in a bad mood and the kid won't settle. I'm gonna have to call it off. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
gorilla got into my house and is forcing me to hand feed it bananas |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
warts
oops...went ahead too much |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I lost one of my shoes. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm really a man pretending to be a couple......shit... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Judge Judy ordered me bound over! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
jacked off and cba to travel now |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
J: Just another common or garden timewaster, just sayin', soz. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
K: Kicked in the shin by small girl. Can't walk. Soz. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
licked a frog and trippin now |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
KNACKERED |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lost my house keys.... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
labia frosted |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
L: Liver bust unexpectedly. Soz. Next time? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
my mums watching |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My mum won't let strangers in the house |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No, No, No, No.... Just No, |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"My mum won't let strangers in the house "
I've shagged people whilst their mum was in the house. Awake. A few times.
Pfft |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Orgasm lasted 2 days - can't walk! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
quebec had an earthquake and I cannot shag anyone with this misery |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Queing for the GUM clnic - gotta get rid of this itch! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Qi was on....secret crush for Stephen Fry |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
run over someone in my haste to drive to yours quickly |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stuck on the loo with the shits |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
S: Shit! My mother died and I'm the best man, I've gotta run... byeeeee! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
tight foreskin |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
UNLOS |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Tazar was set too high - soz, lost function of legs. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"Tazar was set too high - soz, lost function of legs."
dunno why that really made me laugh.
v virginity needs to be kept intact |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I didn't clean my room,
My mum won't let me out to play.. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
L last time i saw someone like you i got arrested not doing that again |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
U: Universe expanded, now you are too far away |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
You know, it's a real funny story..
So there was this business man, well a twat really..
So he thinks he could be president.. Yeh right..
All a bit of a larf really..
So I make this bet.. 100% I'm gonna win..
But you know what.....
.
.
So I'm stuck here, naval orange up my arse and Turkey feathers stuck on my back..
I'm told I'll be let go after thanksgiving..
Anyone know when thanksgiving is? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know, it's a real funny story..
So there was this business man, well a twat really..
So he thinks he could be president.. Yeh right..
All a bit of a larf really..
So I make this bet.. 100% I'm gonna win..
But you know what..... y
.
.
So I'm stuck here, naval orange up my arse and Turkey feathers stuck on my back..
I'm told I'll be let go after thanksgiving..
Anyone know when thanksgiving is?"
Be careful, I have seen the YouTube Videos, thanks giving Thursday is often followed by smash your doors in Friday |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
zelda...as a ninty freak, for zelda...I strangely felt the cock rise for her...
sad I know lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
[Removed by poster at 11/02/17 00:43:04] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what about w x and y?"
Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"what about w x and y?
Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.
"
they're usually clever though. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what about w x and y?
Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.
"
lol....whio cares the thread ends at Z... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what about w x and y?
Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.
they're usually clever though. "
We give them free education, but... *shrugs* |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I didn't clean my room,
My mum won't let me out to play.. "
She didn't make you learn your alphabet though did she |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"what about w x and y?
Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.
they're usually clever though.
We give them free education, but... *shrugs*"
he's starting trouble now, look above you. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"what about w x and y?
Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.
lol....whio cares the thread ends at Z..."
w
willie got stuck to my face so i'm shy to go out now |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
x
x-ray machine showed me what you look like underneath your clothes and i'm not keen |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what about w x and y?
Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.
they're usually clever though.
We give them free education, but... *shrugs*"
I'm discusted with your anti-scot attitude so i wont meet ya...cos you are a
W |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Z: Zulus, ma'am, 'faasends ov 'em!
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Zanex...got a headache |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I didn't clean my room,
My mum won't let me out to play..
She didn't make you learn your alphabet though did she "
Are yer questioning me upbringing??
I had a very questionable upbringing I'll have yer know!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I didn't clean my room,
My mum won't let me out to play..
She didn't make you learn your alphabet though did she
Are yer questioning me upbringing??
I had a very questionable upbringing I'll have yer know!! "
We can tell! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I'm sorry I couldn't make it..
One of them tried to escape from my cellar and I've just spent the last three hours cleaning the blood and checking the other fifteen are still secured.... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I didn't clean my room,
My mum won't let me out to play..
She didn't make you learn your alphabet though did she
Are yer questioning me upbringing??
I had a very questionable upbringing I'll have yer know!!
We can tell! "
Hey,
I resemble that comment.. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Round Two - some good entries in first round
A - Angina. I got out of bed too quickly, to wipe the cum off the flock wallpaper, so my angina won't be up for me shagging now. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dad said that it was his turn to travel |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
B: because I fell down a blasted badger set and broke my toe |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My farmer friend died last night, drinking a pint of milk the cow fell on him |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
My Dog can tell I've got a meet and won't stop barking |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
C - cat puked on my basque so I've nothing to wear now! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
E. Electricity bill has come and I can't afford to shower |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Fuckidyfuckinfuckereits sorry can't fuckin cum. xxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Horrendous wart eruptions on my genitals that won't cover with makeup |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
It's my Dad's birthday. Like it was an unexpected occurrence |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My ex was released from prison early and I need to disappear |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Jury unexpectedly found me guilty. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I was wanking furiously over your pics, I slipped on the cum puddle and well, I broke my Cock... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Remeber it'supposed be A - Z lol. Last one was J Jury |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
L lost my car keys, mind, mojo etc... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mum has my tea ready |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No number 37 in the street you told me |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
O: oh shit I have a zit |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
[Removed by poster at 11/02/17 11:45:59] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
P: Police won't release me until I tell them the location of my last victim. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
piles came back |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Quite a strange thing happened, aliens have abducted me, they allowed me one call so I used it to let you know.. sorry |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Queen has requested my company |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Bottled it. Sorry. (truths always best) |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Really really really really wanted to meet.. but I had something better to do |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lost my dick! Had it in my pants lastnight b4 bed, but just can't find it now |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sex.....I've decided I no longer like it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lost my dick! Had it in my pants lastnight b4 bed, but just can't find it now "
It's supposed to be in alphabetic order |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stuck on the hard shoulder.
Got a puncture
AA said at least a 2 hour wait.
Hope we can re arrange and please for give lol lol lol lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Tbh...I just dont fancy you |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unbeknownst to me, my wife made plans for us tonight.. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
The dog got d*unk on wine gums.
The Mrs burnt her arse on the sunbed (I have actually had that one) |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The dog got d*unk on wine gums.
The Mrs burnt her arse on the sunbed (I have actually had that one)"
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Xylophone practice! I forgot - we've got a clash, can we rearrange? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Neighbours are fucking in the road, police have blocked off the road |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Very sorry .. the dog ate my cock |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Wet snow is falling fast - I dare not risk it! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Xylophone injury, hit my cock with the hammer and it's too flat to fuck.
M |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Zeppelin album was so good I lost track of time! ! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Ooops..
Yodelling class overan... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Zeppelin album was so good I lost track of time! ! "
That happens. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I cut my cock while shaving
From the female I was supposed to be meeting |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Ooops..
Yodelling class overan... "
Oi! I'm doing Y now seeing as you forgot
Yul Brynner popped round. I was so shocked, seeing as he's been dead for over 30 years that I just lost track of time. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Zeppelin album was so good I lost track of time! !
That happens. "
It does lol! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Ooops..
Yodelling class overan... "
Round again.
A: Alphabet class overan |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
This thread has made me laugh.....brilliant |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A - absailing accident - in A&E |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
B: Best friend got arrested in a stolen car with three transvestites and a monkey so had to go and bail them out. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Cunilingous lesson doesn't finish til 10 so can't make it |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
C: Car got stolen by some guy, 3 TVs and a monkey, so I couldn't travel |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
C- cats stuck up a tree.
So got a load of firemen here.
I maybe a while |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dead f**ckin horny for you but I need to clip my toe nails |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
D: didn't realise until now that I'm actually a box of strawberries trapped in a man's body so I can't meet because I've got to throw myself into a bowl with style meringue and whipped cream. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"D: didn't realise until now that I'm actually a box of strawberries trapped in a man's body so I can't meet because I've got to throw myself into a bowl with style meringue and whipped cream."
Now I'm hungry! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Donald Trump has put a ban on me entering your cuntry. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"D: didn't realise until now that I'm actually a box of strawberries trapped in a man's body so I can't meet because I've got to throw myself into a bowl with style meringue and whipped cream."
Eaton mess - got distracted eating it after reading that post and lost track of time. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Donald Trump has put a ban on me entering your cuntry."
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
F: Forum too busy for me to actually go on a meet |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
G: Grear Scott! I've just realised what a horrible person I am and am leaving on a religious retreat straight away in an effort to improve my soul and save you from the ordeal of having me naked, sweating and swearing ontop of you. Sorry. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
H. Hairy day prevents me from waxing |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Jungle fever: I trekked the amazon last week and have come back with some rabid disease. I'll be fighting for next week - faf then? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Fufu caught Fire "
We like that X
As it was so hot in anticipation lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
K: Keith Richards and the Rolling broke in, raided my wife's wardrobe then stole my monkey and my neighbours car, so Ive been giving a statement to the police for the last 4 hrs and now I have sticky fingers. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
L - liposuction scars are weeping |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Nut allergy. I've just realised you're fuckin' nuts! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Orks have laid seige to the citadel - can't lower the drawbridge to get out |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Pussy is still sore from last nights 20 man gang bang |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Quiet in the library.....I'm reading war and peace. xxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
R: Robin Hood came by and we've been gang banging Friar Tuck all day. I think I broke my cock in him. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Stephen K Amos promised to finally say something funny if I called off our meet. I just couldn't let such an opportunity pass. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Loaned my cock to my cousin, won't have it back till Thursday |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Elephants blocking the road, can't make it, soz"
I think the 'soz' really sells it here |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
T: Transvestite rock stars on a joy ride threw a monkey at me and I've got mashed banana in my hair. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Utterly engrossed in a documentary on Sumatran organutans. Planning on adopting one actually. This took priority over meeting you. Soz |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
W. Wanked myself all day and no jizz left |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
X. Dropped my xylophone on my bollocks and can't perform to the required standard! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Xander got there first... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Vaginaphobia. Sorry it's just come on all of a sudden. I had to cancel my meet with Piers Morgan yesterday for the very same reason. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"X. Dropped my xylophone on my bollocks and can't perform to the required standard!"
Yours is a better 'X' excuse |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Y: You'll never believe what heppened... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yanks are coming. Quick I've gotta hid. xxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Y Your wife wants to leave you and run away with me ! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Y Your wife wants to leave you and run away with me !"
You're on a roll! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Zebras have eaten my brain so can't go out. xxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Z zinger strips from KFC have burnt my tongue and I can't lick u out as I should !! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A Alphabet soup was the only food option in the hostel doss house but I've struggled getting the letters eaten in sequence but I can have visitors until we're de-loused after I eat Z. Probs best tomoz |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My balls have dropped and I can't find a wheel barrow to put them in |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
B breast..My breast implants have exploded x
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
C. Your crabs look a bit too aggressive and rabid for my liking. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
J- just leaving.what's the address again. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
K: Killer clowns chased me and now I'm scared to come outside! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
F I'm feeling funny - so funny I don't know what I'm feeling. I'd not want to laugh at you as you get undressed or tell me you've finished. But feel free to arrange |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Gunna have to pass my test results are back I've got genital herpes xxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
herpes
PTU gave me them
caught up to L now |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Z zinger strips from KFC have burnt my tongue and I can't lick u out as I should !!"
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
[Removed by poster at 11/02/17 17:32:35] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Granny's pet gerbil escaped and I had to help her look for it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've got a toilet brush stuck up my bum, I need to go to urgent care ! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just joking I haven't got herpes. Eirenikos where have you been? xxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |