 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Been a tough 12 months as far as emotions go, won't bore you all with the details. But I'm almost concrete in how I now fall for someone.
It HAS to be a friend, someone I've known a considerable amount of time, seen them at their best and worst and vice versa.
I think it's because I've been HURT and done the hurting, but also the fact I'm a father now.
When I get those feelings with someone new I knock it up to infatuation and try to sober up a little, get back into friends zone and see how things progress from there on.
Question:
Am I going to end up a wrinkled old veteran living in Chelsea Barracks and stinking of wee, because I've got nobody to care for and be cared by? Because women who show an interest assume I'm on emotional lock down (which is far from the truth) Or am I doing the right thing? Looking after my sanity and waiting for real love to develop naturally and deeply. Not falling for that initial feel good feeling when you click with someone exciting. Having a little fun whilst I wait..
Got a feeling I'm doomed
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been a tough 12 months as far as emotions go, won't bore you all with the details. But I'm almost concrete in how I now fall for someone.
It HAS to be a friend, someone I've known a considerable amount of time, seen them at their best and worst and vice versa.
I think it's because I've been HURT and done the hurting, but also the fact I'm a father now.
When I get those feelings with someone new I knock it up to infatuation and try to sober up a little, get back into friends zone and see how things progress from there on.
Question:
Am I going to end up a wrinkled old veteran living in Chelsea Barracks and stinking of wee, because I've got nobody to care for and be cared by? Because women who show an interest assume I'm on emotional lock down (which is far from the truth) Or am I doing the right thing? Looking after my sanity and waiting for real love to develop naturally and deeply. Not falling for that initial feel good feeling when you click with someone exciting. Having a little fun whilst I wait..
Got a feeling I'm doomed
"
Sounds like you've had an experience similar to mine with an ex. I went into lockdown and the shields went up, but that doesn't mean that you won't find what you want when you're not looking for it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Been a tough 12 months as far as emotions go, won't bore you all with the details. But I'm almost concrete in how I now fall for someone.
It HAS to be a friend, someone I've known a considerable amount of time, seen them at their best and worst and vice versa.
I think it's because I've been HURT and done the hurting, but also the fact I'm a father now.
When I get those feelings with someone new I knock it up to infatuation and try to sober up a little, get back into friends zone and see how things progress from there on.
Question:
Am I going to end up a wrinkled old veteran living in Chelsea Barracks and stinking of wee, because I've got nobody to care for and be cared by? Because women who show an interest assume I'm on emotional lock down (which is far from the truth) Or am I doing the right thing? Looking after my sanity and waiting for real love to develop naturally and deeply. Not falling for that initial feel good feeling when you click with someone exciting. Having a little fun whilst I wait..
Got a feeling I'm doomed
Sounds like you've had an experience similar to mine with an ex. I went into lockdown and the shields went up, but that doesn't mean that you won't find what you want when you're not looking for it "
Split with wife 13 months ago, met a girl, took things slowly, no talk of emotions, she eventually came clean, I freaked a little, asked her to wait and her shields went up. Two weeks later I fell hard, but in the meantime she found real reasons to keep her shield up, she'd also had a tough time. Took a while to get over her, because she was my friend first and foremost and a fucking great one.
Starting to recover and I accidentally bump into a beautiful, younger, mature minded woman. Loads in common. But I know I'm still recovering. Almost fell for infatuation and pulled out. Accidentally hurt her feelings and I feel terrible for doing that to her. I asked if we can step it back a bit, but friends and see what happens in time. I'm sure she thinks it's her fault or I'm one of those guys who has to shag different women all the time, or I want to move on because I'm bored. None of which is true.
But I know I'm not ready just yet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We can go bingo and race our mobility scooters round asda haha"
Can I pinch Rum and hide it in my adult nappy? Blame it on dementia if I get caught. Will you bail me out? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My opinion..
Being on fab does nothing for self esteem or loving trusting relationships. It unlocks another side of life that's hard to back track from to enter a 'normal' relationship again.
I will die alone I imagine. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I doubt it.
But as Akon sang in his international bestselling hit, Mr Lonely, just remember:
Yo this one here goes out to all my players out there
Ya know got to have one good girl whose always been there
Like ya know took all the bullshit
Then one day she can't take it no more and decides to leave
Wise words Mr Akon, wise words.
So if you want it then put a ring on it before she goes, walks out the door. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My opinion..
Being on fab does nothing for self esteem or loving trusting relationships. It unlocks another side of life that's hard to back track from to enter a 'normal' relationship again.
I will die alone I imagine. "
This is so true!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you need more time to get over things and you know that you do, try to be strict in situations where you're spending time with people who you could get romantically attached to. Hopefully you're not on dating sites or anything like that. When I had a traumatic break up, I spent a year away from any sort of dating, online or real world.
Once you're ready to date, take it slow and don't overthink it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My opinion..
Being on fab does nothing for self esteem or loving trusting relationships. It unlocks another side of life that's hard to back track from to enter a 'normal' relationship again.
I will die alone I imagine. "
I thought that for a while, I used a site similar to fab before I got married. Didn't stop me finding love. I think I'd feel the same regardless of the sex, I hope it's my age and maturity finally kicking in  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I doubt it.
But as Akon sang in his international bestselling hit, Mr Lonely, just remember:
Yo this one here goes out to all my players out there
Ya know got to have one good girl whose always been there
Like ya know took all the bullshit
Then one day she can't take it no more and decides to leave
Wise words Mr Akon, wise words.
So if you want it then put a ring on it before she goes, walks out the door."
Very good, I'm more a fan of the wiser Bob..
"No woman, No cry" As a backtrack to all his other fantastic songs about love. I haven't given up, just finding it harder to let go. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My opinion..
Being on fab does nothing for self esteem or loving trusting relationships. It unlocks another side of life that's hard to back track from to enter a 'normal' relationship again.
I will die alone I imagine. "
We all die alone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you need more time to get over things and you know that you do, try to be strict in situations where you're spending time with people who you could get romantically attached to. Hopefully you're not on dating sites or anything like that. When I had a traumatic break up, I spent a year away from any sort of dating, online or real world.
Once you're ready to date, take it slow and don't overthink it.
"
I was on pof, but I've given up on traditional dating, knowing my sexual side I'd hoped I may find a woman on here, get friendly with someone regular and see if nsa evolves into something naturally over time. I hate the idea of normal dating as it feels so false. I also don't want to get very invested to find out we don't click at all on a sexual level. I'd rather get that click out of the way first and see if it blossoms over an extended period of time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I doubt it.
But as Akon sang in his international bestselling hit, Mr Lonely, just remember:
Yo this one here goes out to all my players out there
Ya know got to have one good girl whose always been there
Like ya know took all the bullshit
Then one day she can't take it no more and decides to leave
Wise words Mr Akon, wise words.
So if you want it then put a ring on it before she goes, walks out the door.
Very good, I'm more a fan of the wiser Bob..
"No woman, No cry" As a backtrack to all his other fantastic songs about love. I haven't given up, just finding it harder to let go. "
Time will help, keep your chin up. Just wasn't meant to be this time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Love can sometimes creep up on you, from the most unexpected places..."
Agreed, it usually has with me, the moment I stop hoping, or looking for it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you need more time to get over things and you know that you do, try to be strict in situations where you're spending time with people who you could get romantically attached to. Hopefully you're not on dating sites or anything like that. When I had a traumatic break up, I spent a year away from any sort of dating, online or real world.
Once you're ready to date, take it slow and don't overthink it.
I was on pof, but I've given up on traditional dating, knowing my sexual side I'd hoped I may find a woman on here, get friendly with someone regular and see if nsa evolves into something naturally over time. I hate the idea of normal dating as it feels so false. I also don't want to get very invested to find out we don't click at all on a sexual level. I'd rather get that click out of the way first and see if it blossoms over an extended period of time. "
I'm the same, I need to be friends first. Can't do the dating 'from cold' stuff. It's just not me. I can't help apart from say I hope you can accept the way you are and be happy.  x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
l think it will be okay OP. Time does heal and l know it's a cliche but cliches usually become cliche because of the truth in them.
Tbh l wish l was at the stage of being able to fall for someone other than my ex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We can go bingo and race our mobility scooters round asda haha
This sounds like fun. Is there room for me too?!"
Sure, if we all start chipping in a monthly amount we can build a care home for FAB. Every female an incontinent Squirter, every man with a ball sack he can trip over. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you need more time to get over things and you know that you do, try to be strict in situations where you're spending time with people who you could get romantically attached to. Hopefully you're not on dating sites or anything like that. When I had a traumatic break up, I spent a year away from any sort of dating, online or real world.
Once you're ready to date, take it slow and don't overthink it.
I was on pof, but I've given up on traditional dating, knowing my sexual side I'd hoped I may find a woman on here, get friendly with someone regular and see if nsa evolves into something naturally over time. I hate the idea of normal dating as it feels so false. I also don't want to get very invested to find out we don't click at all on a sexual level. I'd rather get that click out of the way first and see if it blossoms over an extended period of time.
I'm the same, I need to be friends first. Can't do the dating 'from cold' stuff. It's just not me. I can't help apart from say I hope you can accept the way you are and be happy. x"
Hearing someone else say that, was all I needed to hear. Thanks xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you need more time to get over things and you know that you do, try to be strict in situations where you're spending time with people who you could get romantically attached to. Hopefully you're not on dating sites or anything like that. When I had a traumatic break up, I spent a year away from any sort of dating, online or real world.
Once you're ready to date, take it slow and don't overthink it.
I was on pof, but I've given up on traditional dating, knowing my sexual side I'd hoped I may find a woman on here, get friendly with someone regular and see if nsa evolves into something naturally over time. I hate the idea of normal dating as it feels so false. I also don't want to get very invested to find out we don't click at all on a sexual level. I'd rather get that click out of the way first and see if it blossoms over an extended period of time.
I'm the same, I need to be friends first. Can't do the dating 'from cold' stuff. It's just not me. I can't help apart from say I hope you can accept the way you are and be happy. x
Hearing someone else say that, was all I needed to hear. Thanks xxx"
Aww that cheered me up, thank you too. xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"l think it will be okay OP. Time does heal and l know it's a cliche but cliches usually become cliche because of the truth in them.
Tbh l wish l was at the stage of being able to fall for someone other than my ex."
Time does heal, especially if you've got friends and family who rally around. I want to keep my friend I fell for, so I spoke to her and explained I can't be her friend now, it hurts too much and I stalk her Facebook a little more than is probably healthy. Stalk, is an exaggeration, you know what I mean though. That's not good for my mental well being. She understands, I check up on her occasionally, once every three weeks or so to check she's OK. I think in time we'll be friends again, but I'm going to have to be very careful around her.
Try not to dwell pal, a little mourning time is healthy and normal. Getting hurt is healthy, you heal stronger. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you need more time to get over things and you know that you do, try to be strict in situations where you're spending time with people who you could get romantically attached to. Hopefully you're not on dating sites or anything like that. When I had a traumatic break up, I spent a year away from any sort of dating, online or real world.
Once you're ready to date, take it slow and don't overthink it.
I was on pof, but I've given up on traditional dating, knowing my sexual side I'd hoped I may find a woman on here, get friendly with someone regular and see if nsa evolves into something naturally over time. I hate the idea of normal dating as it feels so false. I also don't want to get very invested to find out we don't click at all on a sexual level. I'd rather get that click out of the way first and see if it blossoms over an extended period of time.
I'm the same, I need to be friends first. Can't do the dating 'from cold' stuff. It's just not me. I can't help apart from say I hope you can accept the way you are and be happy. x
Hearing someone else say that, was all I needed to hear. Thanks xxx
Aww that cheered me up, uthank you too. xx"
Let's get married |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you need more time to get over things and you know that you do, try to be strict in situations where you're spending time with people who you could get romantically attached to. Hopefully you're not on dating sites or anything like that. When I had a traumatic break up, I spent a year away from any sort of dating, online or real world.
Once you're ready to date, take it slow and don't overthink it.
I was on pof, but I've given up on traditional dating, knowing my sexual side I'd hoped I may find a woman on here, get friendly with someone regular and see if nsa evolves into something naturally over time. I hate the idea of normal dating as it feels so false. I also don't want to get very invested to find out we don't click at all on a sexual level. I'd rather get that click out of the way first and see if it blossoms over an extended period of time.
I'm the same, I need to be friends first. Can't do the dating 'from cold' stuff. It's just not me. I can't help apart from say I hope you can accept the way you are and be happy. x
Hearing someone else say that, was all I needed to hear. Thanks xxx
Aww that cheered me up, uthank you too. xx
Let's get married "
Ok. But no bridesmaids! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'm going offline to socialise with my vanilla bloke mate. Thanks to all of you xxx You've all cheered me up a bit, feel less like a freak. Which is what I hoped for when I posted. There's a lot of morons on FAB.. But there are plenty of diamonds in the rough... You're fucking diamonds, all of you  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you need more time to get over things and you know that you do, try to be strict in situations where you're spending time with people who you could get romantically attached to. Hopefully you're not on dating sites or anything like that. When I had a traumatic break up, I spent a year away from any sort of dating, online or real world.
Once you're ready to date, take it slow and don't overthink it.
I was on pof, but I've given up on traditional dating, knowing my sexual side I'd hoped I may find a woman on here, get friendly with someone regular and see if nsa evolves into something naturally over time. I hate the idea of normal dating as it feels so false. I also don't want to get very invested to find out we don't click at all on a sexual level. I'd rather get that click out of the way first and see if it blossoms over an extended period of time.
I'm the same, I need to be friends first. Can't do the dating 'from cold' stuff. It's just not me. I can't help apart from say I hope you can accept the way you are and be happy. x
Hearing someone else say that, was all I needed to hear. Thanks xxx
Aww that cheered me up, uthank you too. xx
Let's get married
Ok. But no bridesmaids! "
Deal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ewxpMan
over a year ago
Bath |
"Let's start saving for a fab home....
We can all be cheeky and rude together x"
If this was a thing, I would move in asap.
I was going to write a bit about my own stance and opinion based on how I deal with this kind of thing but then I realised I was gushing ... I've never hit the back space so hard.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I hear you mate ..but I fell for a friend ,new each other so well it was so right ,8 years later we split ..now here's the problem with getting with a friend ..if it doesn't work ..it can split your whole friend circle as well ,and you've also lost what was a hell of a friend ....if the friend your thinking of isn't in the same friend circle then maybe ...hindsights a wonderful thing ..would I date some I knew from my circle of friends again ...no the price is to high if it doesn't work ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been a tough 12 months as far as emotions go, won't bore you all with the details. But I'm almost concrete in how I now fall for someone.
It HAS to be a friend, someone I've known a considerable amount of time, seen them at their best and worst and vice versa.
I think it's because I've been HURT and done the hurting, but also the fact I'm a father now.
When I get those feelings with someone new I knock it up to infatuation and try to sober up a little, get back into friends zone and see how things progress from there on.
Question:
Am I going to end up a wrinkled old veteran living in Chelsea Barracks and stinking of wee, because I've got nobody to care for and be cared by? Because women who show an interest assume I'm on emotional lock down (which is far from the truth) Or am I doing the right thing? Looking after my sanity and waiting for real love to develop naturally and deeply. Not falling for that initial feel good feeling when you click with someone exciting. Having a little fun whilst I wait..
Got a feeling I'm doomed
Sounds like you've had an experience similar to mine with an ex. I went into lockdown and the shields went up, but that doesn't mean that you won't find what you want when you're not looking for it "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iz78Woman
over a year ago
wirral |
"We can go bingo and race our mobility scooters round asda haha
Can I pinch Rum and hide it in my adult nappy? Blame it on dementia if I get caught. Will you bail me out? "
Hell yeah! Lets do this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I hear you mate ..but I fell for a friend ,new each other so well it was so right ,8 years later we split ..now here's the problem with getting with a friend ..if it doesn't work ..it can split your whole friend circle as well ,and you've also lost what was a hell of a friend ....if the friend your thinking of isn't in the same friend circle then maybe ...hindsights a wonderful thing ..would I date some I knew from my circle of friends again ...no the price is to high if it doesn't work ..."
Mate! Feel for that. I kind of get a bit of that as - I don't know anyone where I live. My mates live all over the place and I'm living in a town I'm not from, been in five years. Only knew her friends and family. All I have now is my kids half the week and one mate, she was the other, who I'd just met and had picked me back up! That's why my head is so totally fucked right now!
But I could rely on ALL my friends and ALL my family, even though it was mainly digital because we're spread to the winds. Even though Id made a big, wrong mistake. That helps a lot. I'd hate to go through a break up and have no friends, or find I can't trust some, or paranoid about them. That'd be awful, extra guilt.
I'm safe though. I currently don't think I'm in danger of falling for any of my long term friends at all, they mix in their own social circles.. I just have to make a few new ones and get to know them better over time.. It's a long process, but I think it's more honest than puppy love. Finding out shit you didn't know and don't like along the way as you fall deeper down a well.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll be ur friend as long as we can hold hands whilst skipping in Asda swinging our baskets "
I'll be swinging my basket and you'll have to hold my hand.. I'll have dementia remember?
On a side note, I'm a trucker and was overnight in Fareham not long ago... Bet I sent you a message that was ignored... You fickle friend lmfao! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be ur friend as long as we can hold hands whilst skipping in Asda swinging our baskets
I'll be swinging my basket and you'll have to hold my hand.. I'll have dementia remember?
On a side note, I'm a trucker and was overnight in Fareham not long ago... Bet I sent you a message that was ignored... You fickle friend lmfao! "
Lol I probably did cos I normally ignore meet messages from truckers pmsl! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
