FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Does vanilla exist anymore?
Does vanilla exist anymore?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Seems to be loads of 'vanilla' people on here. People on traditional dating sites are looking for threesomes, outdoor sex.
What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore. We are all 50 shades of vanilla. |
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I dont like the term vanilla its just another label often used to imply that some are superior due to the way they have sex.
I know people who think oral sex is as kinky as it gets and people who think being encased in cling film and whipped is standard.
So I think you're right we're all on the spectrum of "normal" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really dislike the term vanilla, when used on here it's used as way to sneer at those who aren't into the same kinks as another, the implication being that they're boring and closed minded.
But if I have to use it, I'd class myself as vanilla. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For singles there's very little difference. Most of my mff's have been away from Fab or websites. One night stands or short term sex based relationships are probably the norm for most single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla 
I actually love that. "
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that?  |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla
I actually love that.
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that? "
Exactly. All the senses are heightened and everything feels a little more intense.
Also I know I'm far less likely to be worrying about my wobbly bits. I relax and just get lost in the sensations. |
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Hardcore bdsm people might call swingers vanilla, it's all relative.
But we use the phrase for simplicity, if we are chatting to swinging friends, we might mention going to a 'vanilla party', just for easiness to say it's not a swinging party. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont like the term vanilla its just another label often used to imply that some are superior due to the way they have sex.
I know people who think oral sex is as kinky as it gets and people who think being encased in cling film and whipped is standard.
So I think you're right we're all on the spectrum of "normal""
 this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to think the term vanilla is overused, sex with more than 2 people is fairly rare, extreme BDSM is also fairly rare, but I am damned sure that 90%+ of couples have involved a third or more in fantasy, certainly found porn belonging to my granddad that showed group sex. Light bondage, spanking etc. is supposedly the English way, you would be hard pressed to find a couple that were not Dom/sub in the early part of the at century. Bisexuality was the cornerstone of Victorian porn.
So vanilla has mostly applied to the smallest of minorities, unless you raise the stakes of anything that is not actual and extreme. |
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"Compared to many I am pretty "vanilla" some may see it as boring. I'd far rather one to one and intimacy than any group sex or kink.
I am a hopeless romantic and a terrible swinger."
I love a man to make an effort and seduce me . Seduction is long lost art and not many have patience , knowledge and will to even try it anymore .
Yes I am like yourself hopeless romantic and not really a swinger . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's like plain old vanilla icecream...can be nice and you realise it's still very satisfying to the palette... but throw in some sprinkles, sauce and chopped nuts.. well... that's when things get very interesting. |
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"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla
I actually love that.
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that? "
I didn't say it was boring. It's just what I imagine is the perceived notion of 'vanilla' , as it's the one thing I see most complained about, especially by married women looking for more than they receive at home; "All I get is missionary in the dark"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing is. What is 'vanilla' anyway? Don't think there is a uniform definition. Everyone interprets it differently - I use it to describe ice cream lol
I personally don't think any of us on this site can ever be called vanilla. We are very much not of the 'norm'.
....but that's what we like!
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We don't use the term vanilla in a sneering way. As a poster above said it's a useful term of describing a situation.
Out with vanilla friends
Going to a vanilla party for example.
We would also describe ourselves as very vanilla but every now and then we like to play swapsies.
But the sex we have when we're swapping is nothing too out of the ordinary or too kinky.
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I have sex. It doesn't have flavours. I have as much sex with people not on this site as with people on this site. Calling it a flavour suggests that the Fab sex is different to the non Fab sex. It's not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never seen vanilla as something that exists or can be quantify. The perception of what is vanilla is all relative."
Very true.
As true as kink. What is one person's kink can be another's vanilla. Same on here as in the 'vanilla ' world.
Had the exact same kink on here as before here. I think alot has to do with the boundaries we set for ourselves.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I refer to myself as vanilla because I don't have many kinks. This doesn't mean sex is boring for me, quite the opposite, I love nothing more than a hot steamy sensual passionate one to one session (that's what I consider vanilla anyway) |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"I dont like the term vanilla its just another label often used to imply that some are superior due to the way they have sex.
I know people who think oral sex is as kinky as it gets and people who think being encased in cling film and whipped is standard.
So I think you're right we're all on the spectrum of "normal""
|
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"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla
I actually love that.
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that? "
Exactly, I love it! I call myself vanilla with pride - I don't need props or costumes or roleplay or anything other than a sexy man to get off on, and that's how I like it! Getting completely lost in the moment and totally letting go and expressing myself emotionally trips my trigger and apparently that just makes me primal on the bdsm spectrum lol!  |
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"I refer to myself as vanilla because I don't have many kinks. This doesn't mean sex is boring for me, quite the opposite, I love nothing more than a hot steamy sensual passionate one to one session (that's what I consider vanilla anyway) "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla
I actually love that.
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that? "
Absolutely nothing.
One needs to remember..... kink or vanilla or any other label used is just a label.
What each one has to do is find what stimulates your mind so you best enjoy what one is looking for....
some kink is just a turn off like a light switch for some....others it's a drug.
One isn't any better or less than another. Unfortunately as with most people we assume one is or isn't and this can also have either a positive or a negative effect to how we feel or perceive others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like everything else vanilla is a socially constructed concept. There will be no universal belief about what it really means and will differ depending on who you speak to. What is vanilla to some won't be to others.
It's just another way of defining a societal 'norm' but really means nothing. |
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"I refer to myself as vanilla because I don't have many kinks. This doesn't mean sex is boring for me, quite the opposite, I love nothing more than a hot steamy sensual passionate one to one session (that's what I consider vanilla anyway) "
Exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla
I actually love that.
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that?
Exactly, I love it! I call myself vanilla with pride - I don't need props or costumes or roleplay or anything other than a sexy man to get off on, and that's how I like it! Getting completely lost in the moment and totally letting go and expressing myself emotionally trips my trigger and apparently that just makes me primal on the bdsm spectrum lol! "
One woman content in herself...
|
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"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla
I actually love that.
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that?
Exactly, I love it! I call myself vanilla with pride - I don't need props or costumes or roleplay or anything other than a sexy man to get off on, and that's how I like it! Getting completely lost in the moment and totally letting go and expressing myself emotionally trips my trigger and apparently that just makes me primal on the bdsm spectrum lol!
One woman content in herself...
"
Hmmmmm, it's made me quite horny actually.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to just have 1on1 sex with a woman normal sex no toys gadgets angles me and a woman as nature intended then other times I crave twisted perverse fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Vanilla to me is boring, monotonous, routine sex. I know everyone has different ideas and what is boring to one won't be to another. But it's an easy way of differentiating sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla to me is boring, monotonous, routine sex. I know everyone has different ideas and what is boring to one won't be to another. But it's an easy way of differentiating sex."
so if I was to offer to tie you up and blindfold you would that buzzing sound you hear get you excited
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont like the term vanilla its just another label often used to imply that some are superior due to the way they have sex.
I know people who think oral sex is as kinky as it gets and people who think being encased in cling film and whipped is standard.
So I think you're right we're all on the spectrum of "normal""
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla to me is boring, monotonous, routine sex. I know everyone has different ideas and what is boring to one won't be to another. But it's an easy way of differentiating sex.so if I was to offer to tie you up and blindfold you would that buzzing sound you hear get you excited "
Very, and rather nervous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really dislike the term vanilla, when used on here it's used as way to sneer at those who aren't into the same kinks as another, the implication being that they're boring and closed minded.
But if I have to use it, I'd class myself as vanilla. "
Me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla to me is boring, monotonous, routine sex. I know everyone has different ideas and what is boring to one won't be to another. But it's an easy way of differentiating sex."
I would say you're just experiencing boring sex. |
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"Vanilla to me is boring, monotonous, routine sex. I know everyone has different ideas and what is boring to one won't be to another. But it's an easy way of differentiating sex."
I know what you mean.
But vanilla means normal to us. And normal can be exciting.
We all have different interpretations it would seem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla to me is boring, monotonous, routine sex. I know everyone has different ideas and what is boring to one won't be to another. But it's an easy way of differentiating sex.
I know what you mean.
But vanilla means normal to us. And normal can be exciting.
We all have different interpretations it would seem. "
But what does normal mean? We could go on and on couldn't we  |
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"Vanilla to me is boring, monotonous, routine sex. I know everyone has different ideas and what is boring to one won't be to another. But it's an easy way of differentiating sex.
I know what you mean.
But vanilla means normal to us. And normal can be exciting.
We all have different interpretations it would seem.
But what does normal mean? We could go on and on couldn't we "
Normal is .........no you're right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla
I actually love that.
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that?
Exactly, I love it! I call myself vanilla with pride - I don't need props or costumes or roleplay or anything other than a sexy man to get off on, and that's how I like it! Getting completely lost in the moment and totally letting go and expressing myself emotionally trips my trigger and apparently that just makes me primal on the bdsm spectrum lol!
One woman content in herself...
Hmmmmm, it's made me quite horny actually.... "
Blindfolded. ...teasing and edging can be the norm for me....but each person reacts diferently. ..and even the same person can react diferently 2nd or third time round too....so what is normal? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really dislike the term vanilla, when used on here it's used as way to sneer at those who aren't into the same kinks as another, the implication being that they're boring and closed minded.
But if I have to use it, I'd class myself as vanilla. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never consider myself a swinger and would people be classified as vanilla.
Although I'm happy to try a few kinks out I'm easy with who I am and what I like. |
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore."
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)"
Nothing goes well with marmalade  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)"
I agree great ingredient in a number of cocktails |
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)
Nothing goes well with marmalade "
People ALWAYS go BLEURGHHH!
It's fab, I tell you!
It's not like it's scat, ffs.
 |
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)
I agree great ingredient in a number of cocktails "
There we go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)
Nothing goes well with marmalade
People ALWAYS go BLEURGHHH!
It's fab, I tell you!
It's not like it's scat, ffs.
"
Well if that's your benchmark   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)
Nothing goes well with marmalade
People ALWAYS go BLEURGHHH!
It's fab, I tell you!
It's not like it's scat, ffs.
Well if that's your benchmark "
Ewww benchmark I'm not sitting on that bench with anyone for an hour (other thread reference) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)
Nothing goes well with marmalade
People ALWAYS go BLEURGHHH!
It's fab, I tell you!
It's not like it's scat, ffs.
Well if that's your benchmark
Ewww benchmark I'm not sitting on that bench with anyone for an hour (other thread reference) "
Straight over my head, sorry |
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)
Nothing goes well with marmalade
People ALWAYS go BLEURGHHH!
It's fab, I tell you!
It's not like it's scat, ffs.
Well if that's your benchmark "
The people on here are sooo intolerant of preference.
*dabs eyes*
Chocolate sauce with that?
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"Missionary with the lights out is vanilla
I actually love that.
Me too, you can't see each other only feel and hear and taste, and because it's missionary you have your full bodies pressed together and faces close to each other to kiss.
What's boring about that?
Exactly, I love it! I call myself vanilla with pride - I don't need props or costumes or roleplay or anything other than a sexy man to get off on, and that's how I like it! Getting completely lost in the moment and totally letting go and expressing myself emotionally trips my trigger and apparently that just makes me primal on the bdsm spectrum lol!
One woman content in herself...
Hmmmmm, it's made me quite horny actually....
Blindfolded. ...teasing and edging can be the norm for me....but each person reacts diferently. ..and even the same person can react diferently 2nd or third time round too....so what is normal? "
Anything you say... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing wrong with vanilla sex
Men I met of here are no wilder to the men I meet who are not on fab
The sex is the same "
I agree there can be, but maybe it's your choice of men. I've experienced so much more since joining a different site, I've done things I never imagined I'd do. |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Nothing wrong with vanilla sex
Men I met of here are no wilder to the men I meet who are not on fab
The sex is the same
I agree there can be, but maybe it's your choice of men. I've experienced so much more since joining a different site, I've done things I never imagined I'd do."
But I'm happy meeting the men I do?
I actually prefer vanilla sex
All this spanking, squirting, pissing, finger up the arse etc etc isn't for me
I know what I like so I'm sticking to it |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Nothing wrong with vanilla sex
Men I met of here are no wilder to the men I meet who are not on fab
The sex is the same
I agree there can be, but maybe it's your choice of men. I've experienced so much more since joining a different site, I've done things I never imagined I'd do.
But I'm happy meeting the men I do?
I actually prefer vanilla sex
All this spanking, squirting, pissing, finger up the arse etc etc isn't for me
I know what I like so I'm sticking to it "
Exactly as you should. Sometimes I think some people set out to do stuff for the sake of it. Then get a bit lost in things they aren't all that in to really for fear they might seem boring otherwise.
Liking certain thighs is almost mocked on here because its not deemed naughty enough. Its a shame.. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I find a problem is that men seem to think that I am expecting kinks and other stuff, like they watched a porno before meeting me and thought that's what I want. It's not - I'm getting a bit old for bedroom gymnastics, and hate finger blasting and deep throating. Saying 'oh but you should try these things' is disingenuous when I tried them 20 years ago and decided then I like sex plain and simple, thanks very much.
It is down to communication, and the poor gents are in a quandary when everyone is different, but there is nothing wrong with just wanting a nice time, without bells, whistles, or the odd rubber chicken. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing wrong with vanilla sex
Men I met of here are no wilder to the men I meet who are not on fab
The sex is the same
I agree there can be, but maybe it's your choice of men. I've experienced so much more since joining a different site, I've done things I never imagined I'd do.
But I'm happy meeting the men I do?
I actually prefer vanilla sex
All this spanking, squirting, pissing, finger up the arse etc etc isn't for me
I know what I like so I'm sticking to it "
That's great Sorry, I misunderstood your post, I thought you were meaning that the men on here were only vanilla. My bad. |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Nothing wrong with vanilla sex
Men I met of here are no wilder to the men I meet who are not on fab
The sex is the same
I agree there can be, but maybe it's your choice of men. I've experienced so much more since joining a different site, I've done things I never imagined I'd do.
But I'm happy meeting the men I do?
I actually prefer vanilla sex
All this spanking, squirting, pissing, finger up the arse etc etc isn't for me
I know what I like so I'm sticking to it
Exactly as you should. Sometimes I think some people set out to do stuff for the sake of it. Then get a bit lost in things they aren't all that in to really for fear they might seem boring otherwise.
Liking certain thighs is almost mocked on here because its not deemed naughty enough. Its a shame.."
Don't get me wrong I've tried, been tied up, blindfolded, out door sex, going commando, some other stuff I won't mention.
But that was 20 or so years ago.
All that dosent interest me anymore, I prefer my little role plays nothing over the top though
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Nothing wrong with vanilla sex
Men I met of here are no wilder to the men I meet who are not on fab
The sex is the same
I agree there can be, but maybe it's your choice of men. I've experienced so much more since joining a different site, I've done things I never imagined I'd do.
But I'm happy meeting the men I do?
I actually prefer vanilla sex
All this spanking, squirting, pissing, finger up the arse etc etc isn't for me
I know what I like so I'm sticking to it
That's great Sorry, I misunderstood your post, I thought you were meaning that the men on here were only vanilla. My bad."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like vanilla......Carte D'Or is my valve as it has bits of pod in it. But it's even better with strawberry yoghurt procured over it.....
.
So yeah...a bit like sex....it can be much better with something added! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What might be vanilla to one person might not be the same for someone else. for example I love having my hair pulled and arse slapped but for someone else that is too much and someone else that's mild. Each to their own as long as everyone has fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)
Nothing goes well with marmalade "
Let's elope |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is vanilla anyway - I don't think it exists anymore.
There's some in the freezer. Tasty, if you get something half decent. I suggest it goes very nicely with a dollop of thick cut marmalade or some other je ne sais quoi of your choosing.
(that's a metaphor btw)
Nothing goes well with marmalade
Let's elope "
For a weekend? Would that do? |
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