Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.
Receptionist: "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."
Mr. Smith: "What do you mean?"
Receptionist: "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife."
Mr. Smith: "That's terrible! Can we do the test over?"
Receptionist: "Normally, yes.they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."
Mr. Smith: "Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
Receptionist: "The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her." |
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Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake and some hot sex.
He engages a lovely prostitute and takes her up to a room.
He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, 'How am I doing?'
The prostitute replies, 'Well Norman, ya old sailor, you're doing about three knots.'
'Three knots?' he asks. ' What's that supposed to mean?'
She says, 'You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back.'  |
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By *ed wineMan
over a year ago
Where the streets have no name |
A man and a woman waiting for a job interview:
M: I am afraid you have few chances for this job; I have 2 Degrees, 3 Masters and speak 4 languages. .
W: Ha!!! ...and I swallow it...
M: It is true!!!
W: You don't understand me... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Blokes in hospital with breath mask on, young student giving him his meds when he asks
"Are my testicles black?"
The student is shocked, doesnt know what to do so gets the matron. Same question to the matron,
"Now sir thats innappropriate"
Same question, the matron thinks right im nit having this, whips doen the bed sheets and down go his pants
"There you are sir nice and pink and bouncy, happy now?"
The patient pulls the mask to the side and says
"I was asking if my test results were back" |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
Had a phone call earlier from my in laws, they said, they can't cope as their cat has unexpectedly given birth to 9 kittens.
The wife said to me "get over there and put them in a sack and dump them in the canal"........
I did this and i now feel really guilty as i got on really well with her dad |
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