FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you believe in marriage?
Do you believe in marriage?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
To me it's outdated that you have to do a ceremony be it in a church or a civil ceremony to show your commitment to someone. The only benefit seems to be for outdated laws such as pensions and wills etc. It's always seemed it was invented by religious leaders to make us tow the line they wanted.
I wonder if it will eventually become a thing of the past. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Tried it twice. Wont be a third time lol. Happiest I've been is with Miss but we have no intention of getting married. We know we love each other and thats enough for us. Doesnt mean I dont believe in it, just never worked out for me. Jack.
Ps there was no infidelity on either side with the 2 failed attempts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I absolutely believe in Marriage. It's more than just a piece if paper to me.
I love being Adams wife. I like belonging to him in a sense, he is my home and I am his.
Granted we don't need a piece of paper to say so but it felt right to us to make it official and declare our love to our friends and family etc.
It meant alot to us in terms of our own little family too. I wanted us to all share the same surname and be a complete unit.
We plan to renew our vows in the future.
I understand that not everyone shares my view, I'm only explaining how it feels to me as an individual.
Eve. X  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I too am a hopeless romantic and love the idea of marriage (although been there once and didn't quite work out for us). Would dearly love to get married again but would have to totally be the right circumstances this time ( they weren't last time).
Kinky  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I absolutely believe in Marriage. It's more than just a piece if paper to me.
I love being Adams wife. I like belonging to him in a sense, he is my home and I am his.
Granted we don't need a piece of paper to say so but it felt right to us to make it official and declare our love to our friends and family etc.
It meant alot to us in terms of our own little family too. I wanted us to all share the same surname and be a complete unit.
We plan to renew our vows in the future.
I understand that not everyone shares my view, I'm only explaining how it feels to me as an individual.
Eve. X "
Me and Mr aren't married but I have been married before and it didn't work out but I still feel the same as above |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I understand that marriage isn't necessary for those who love each other. If you love each other you shouldn't need a legal binding of law to show each other. Saying that however, B and I would love to get married as a celebration of our love and a commitment to each other.
Each to their own.
H xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm of the opinion that if two people wish to get married, that is their absolute right and nobody else's business. "
It was very important to us.
And if you're in a long term relationship and just indifferent to it (rather than actively opposed to it) then I'd get married just for the legal protections. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me it's outdated that you have to do a ceremony be it in a church or a civil ceremony to show your commitment to someone. The only benefit seems to be for outdated laws such as pensions and wills etc. It's always seemed it was invented by religious leaders to make us tow the line they wanted.
I wonder if it will eventually become a thing of the past. "
No, it is not outdated.
Yes, it confers legal rights and responsibilities.
No, it is not for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Despite having one failed marriage I'm still a hopeless romantic and believe in it. Not sure my man feels the same so will accept that he's with me because he wants to be, and not because he has to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No one has to get married, except in cultures where you have to, of course.
But, in my world I think it's lovely that two people want to proclaim their love for each other, in front of the people who matter to them.
Then sign a document, making it legal.
Can't beat wedding buffets and d*unk dancing either.
Agadoo anyone? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Yes I do, but I dont believe we will see marriages lasting 50+ years like the older generation."
Be nice if ours lasted 50yrs, not because I'd still be with H but because it would mean I was still here @91 
S |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rx1Couple
over a year ago
North of Okehampton, South of Bideford |
Well said and well done. We are with you two on this. Granted it is not for everyone, but it works for us.
Is it really about a piece of Paper...lol..How sad that folk think that.
"Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I absolutely believe in Marriage. It's more than just a piece if paper to me.
I love being Adams wife. I like belonging to him in a sense, he is my home and I am his.
Granted we don't need a piece of paper to say so but it felt right to us to make it official and declare our love to our friends and family etc.
It meant alot to us in terms of our own little family too. I wanted us to all share the same surname and be a complete unit.
We plan to renew our vows in the future.
I understand that not everyone shares my view, I'm only explaining how it feels to me as an individual.
Eve. X "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"l liked the idea of marriage but these days there doesn't seem much point anymore. There is too much to lose.
Like what?"
Half your cash/belongings when she decides she's had enough, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm of the opinion that if two people wish to get married, that is their absolute right and nobody else's business.
It was very important to us.
And if you're in a long term relationship and just indifferent to it (rather than actively opposed to it) then I'd get married just for the legal protections. "
But what about if things don't go well? The same legal protections can then bend you over a barrel.
I know people don't go into marriage believing it will happen. However it does. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"l liked the idea of marriage but these days there doesn't seem much point anymore. There is too much to lose.
Like what?
Half your cash/belongings when she decides she's had enough,"
Half? You need to brush up on the law. It really isn't that simple. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Interesting that I used to work with two women who were both anti marriage. Completely on the side of 'why do you need a piece of paper to prove you love each other'
10 years on one is still with her partner and not married. The other is still with her partner and is married.
We can all change opinions.
I like the event side of it myself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm of the opinion that if two people wish to get married, that is their absolute right and nobody else's business.
It was very important to us.
And if you're in a long term relationship and just indifferent to it (rather than actively opposed to it) then I'd get married just for the legal protections.
But what about if things don't go well? The same legal protections can then bend you over a barrel.
I know people don't go into marriage believing it will happen. However it does. "
Only if you're not on an equal footing in the relationship and that's not a relationship I'd get into in the first place. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm of the opinion that if two people wish to get married, that is their absolute right and nobody else's business.
It was very important to us.
And if you're in a long term relationship and just indifferent to it (rather than actively opposed to it) then I'd get married just for the legal protections.
But what about if things don't go well? The same legal protections can then bend you over a barrel.
I know people don't go into marriage believing it will happen. However it does.
Only if you're not on an equal footing in the relationship and that's not a relationship I'd get into in the first place. "
If only that were true ruby |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm of the opinion that if two people wish to get married, that is their absolute right and nobody else's business.
It was very important to us.
And if you're in a long term relationship and just indifferent to it (rather than actively opposed to it) then I'd get married just for the legal protections.
But what about if things don't go well? The same legal protections can then bend you over a barrel.
I know people don't go into marriage believing it will happen. However it does.
Only if you're not on an equal footing in the relationship and that's not a relationship I'd get into in the first place.
If only that were true ruby "
If I got divorced I'd come out with half of our assets, which is what I've put in and paid for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
"Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I absolutely believe in Marriage. It's more than just a piece if paper to me.
I love being Adams wife. I like belonging to him in a sense, he is my home and I am his.
Granted we don't need a piece of paper to say so but it felt right to us to make it official and declare our love to our friends and family etc.
It meant alot to us in terms of our own little family too. I wanted us to all share the same surname and be a complete unit.
We plan to renew our vows in the future.
I understand that not everyone shares my view, I'm only explaining how it feels to me as an individual.
Eve. X "
And this is is exactly how I felt about it, until my ex broke his vows (we were not a swinging couple).
The raising a family part was especially important to me.
I'll never do it again.
Although in the distant future I'd quite like to meet someone who I could happily live in sin with (what a deliciously old fashioned term ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I absolutely believe in Marriage. It's more than just a piece if paper to me.
I love being Adams wife. I like belonging to him in a sense, he is my home and I am his.
Granted we don't need a piece of paper to say so but it felt right to us to make it official and declare our love to our friends and family etc.
It meant alot to us in terms of our own little family too. I wanted us to all share the same surname and be a complete unit.
We plan to renew our vows in the future.
I understand that not everyone shares my view, I'm only explaining how it feels to me as an individual.
Eve. X
And this is is exactly how I felt about it, until my ex broke his vows (we were not a swinging couple).
The raising a family part was especially important to me.
I'll never do it again.
Although in the distant future I'd quite like to meet someone who I could happily live in sin with (what a deliciously old fashioned term )"
Aww I'm sorry to hear that doll.
We have lots of dreams that we hold dear to us for our future..I sincerely believe that if we are honest, open and fight for our marriage then we will spend our entire lives together.
Of course I could be wrong and it could all end at the most unexpected time. I just choose to hope for the best and trust us in our love.
I'll stop with the cheese now, sick buckets are at the front should you need one ha ha ha.
Eve. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
it gives you certain rights under law while that contract isn't broken. and i think some people might need the reassurance marriage might bring them.
never wanted to get married myself. love how i lived in an age where i could have a family without getting married or being tied to anyone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"l liked the idea of marriage but these days there doesn't seem much point anymore. There is too much to lose.
Like what?
Half your cash/belongings when she decides she's had enough,"
only if she's had to give up her cash to be with you.
if she gave up work to look after your children it's only right she be compensated for that. if she worked and put her money into the home, same there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me it's outdated that you have to do a ceremony be it in a church or a civil ceremony to show your commitment to someone. The only benefit seems to be for outdated laws such as pensions and wills etc. It's always seemed it was invented by religious leaders to make us tow the line they wanted.
I wonder if it will eventually become a thing of the past. "
If you view it as it was originally set up, i.e. an instrument of law, then it makes perfect sense, it's only because the clergy could write the registers the church got involved.
If you go into a business as a partner, spend time and money on that business you would expect a contract showing who gets what in the event of death, retirement, or going for a different job.
Why would you enter an arrangement that will invest jointly 100's of 1,000's of £ without some form of legal contract?
Not saying Marriage is the only option, but some form of government and court approved contract is a useful thing.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm of the opinion that if two people wish to get married, that is their absolute right and nobody else's business.
It was very important to us.
And if you're in a long term relationship and just indifferent to it (rather than actively opposed to it) then I'd get married just for the legal protections.
But what about if things don't go well? The same legal protections can then bend you over a barrel.
I know people don't go into marriage believing it will happen. However it does.
Only if you're not on an equal footing in the relationship and that's not a relationship I'd get into in the first place.
If only that were true ruby
If I got divorced I'd come out with half of our assets, which is what I've put in and paid for. "
I'm not saying you wouldn't. However unless you've covered yourself (and this goes for any marriage) with a prenup, either or both parties could be into the other for a lot more than half of your current assets. My ex, if she has been callas enough could have had her hand in my pocket until the day I died. The law and the ability of the law to make one adult hand over large quantities of money to the other is wrong in so many ways in my mind. And this view isn't due to me having to do it, just simply understanding what is possible |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For those of you saying there is too much to lose if you get married. If you are with someone for long enough living together there is a term in law called common law where you end up with some of the rights of marriage, including being able to claim for money and property if the relationship breaks down. It's even worse if you have kids.
I'm a hopeless romantic, I've not been married, but the Mr has, and it's not off the table us one day getting married. I don't want it as much as I used too, but then we already have trust and security in our relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For those of you saying there is too much to lose if you get married. If you are with someone for long enough living together there is a term in law called common law where you end up with some of the rights of marriage, including being able to claim for money and property if the relationship breaks down. It's even worse if you have kids.
I'm a hopeless romantic, I've not been married, but the Mr has, and it's not off the table us one day getting married. I don't want it as much as I used too, but then we already have trust and security in our relationship. "
I am afraid that you are sorely mistaken. There is no such thing in law as a common law spouse. A common misconception might be a better term. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"yes it seems to work for some people i think you need plenty of money for it to work these days.
Why do you need plenty of money ?
So you dont have money worrys and argue about money. "
And cohabiting couples don't suffer the same problem? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I absolutely do believe in it, don't know why- I'm probably a bit of an irrational/ignorant traditionalist in that sense.
But I would love to be able to meet someone that I see as the person I'm excited to wake up next to for the rest of my life and share everything with and personally, I would want to marry that person.
I don't see marriage as a religious or legal thing, more a grand gesture and celebration. Sure, two people can show their love every day their together and a marriage isn't required for that, but why not celebrate it and bask in it, just for one special day in the company of your closest friends?
I am however, single as fuck and have essentially given up  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As half of a 30 year marriage I believe in it and our kids tell me they do too.
I'm not too concerned if other people do or not.
I think it's wise to ensure that investments and children are legally protected but it doesn't matter how that's done.
I do think that attitudes to marriage are changing but I don't think it will die out in my lifetime if ever. I think the campaign for same sex marriage illustrates that its still popular and something than many aspire to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
i just think its nice to get married sometimes i get the feeling that people who dont want to get married arent really as in love with their partner but also too many people just get married for something to do and dont take it seriously enough, then get divorced a year later. i am old fashioned though, so not many people would agree with me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not for me. Been proposed to twice and had to politely decline. If I had 10/20k, I'd buy property or go travelling, not spend it on a day where people turn up just to get pissed and eat cake. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm of the opinion that if two people wish to get married, that is their absolute right and nobody else's business.
It was very important to us.
And if you're in a long term relationship and just indifferent to it (rather than actively opposed to it) then I'd get married just for the legal protections.
But what about if things don't go well? The same legal protections can then bend you over a barrel.
I know people don't go into marriage believing it will happen. However it does.
Only if you're not on an equal footing in the relationship and that's not a relationship I'd get into in the first place.
If only that were true ruby "
It's about being smart and a bit savvy about it. I'm so glad I was otherwise I would have been screwed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Personally I'm a big fan of marriage, especially my own. To me, it represents an extra level of commitment beyond cohabitation. It says that I firmly believe that my wife will be my life long partner, whatever may happen along the way. But that's just me.
Cal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I thought I'd be married til death, how wrong I was. It's taken me a good year to grieve for something that wasn't even real.
Onwards and upwards, id never say never to it again. Hopeless romantic |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not for me. Been proposed to twice and had to politely decline. If I had 10/20k, I'd buy property or go travelling, not spend it on a day where people turn up just to get pissed and eat cake. "
That's a wedding, not a marriage. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not for me. Been proposed to twice and had to politely decline. If I had 10/20k, I'd buy property or go travelling, not spend it on a day where people turn up just to get pissed and eat cake.
That's a wedding, not a marriage."
Thank you. Still, I don't know anyone who has spent less than a few grand on a 'marriage' either and I've better things to spend my cash on, frankly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My parents married 41 years. My dad treats my mum like a queen. He bought her 41 red roses for their wedding anniversary. They hold hands and look at eachother with love and tenderness.
My sister married 21 years. 3 kids. Husband worships her. Dedicated his book to her.
And then there's me. Was married 13 years. To a serial cheater and narcisst liar.
I believe in marriage. I believe there is that one person for each and one of us. When the right time comes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I believe in marriage, partly because it's lovely to celebrate your relationship and commitment surrounded by your loved ones, and partly for the legal protection should it all go wrong, especially when there are children involved. Not being married is also cool, each to their own. I don't believe in the misogynistic traditions of 'giving away the bride', taking the man's name, or the bride's parents paying for the wedding. I really regret allowing myself to be bullied into taking my ex's surname by my father in law.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
