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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For a long time, having witnessed many people struggle with the issue of self worth, my self most defiantly at the center of vision.
Having gone up and down and side to side over the years. From seeking affection from parents, teachers and friends. Now perhaps seeking it in activities, holding it in memories to keep me warm at night.
We all have bad thing happen around usand more unfortunately too us.
I welcome any and all of you to ask similar questions to your fellow human being.
Question
Is swingers good for myself worth or my ego? Perhaps both... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Question
Is swingers good for myself worth or my ego? Perhaps both...
Only you can answer that question."
I already have. I'm inviting a conversation on the subject. It's a point of _iew question. For myself I'd see it as two parts of the sane coin. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I have volumes of self worth and I didn't need swinging to reinforce it, improve it or support it.
I like who I am, what I stand for, what I care about and most of all, my life.
I have made mistakes in life, I have learned from them, I am accountable for all aspects of it.
I love myself and I am proud that I do.
And what others think of me means very little to me.
Good luck with yours  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is swingers good for myself worth or my ego? Perhaps both..."
I've only experienced swinging via this site, and honestly there are so many predators, manipulative people, and people desperate for attention, it'd be hard to keep some kind of faith in humanity from that.
What kind of ego do you want? It can be fairly shallow on here, not sure about outside of this site itself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think looking to swinging to boost your self worth (if that's what you mean) is misguided.
Many of the interactions between people in this world are fleeting, sometimes shallow, and many aren't particularly looking to really get to know someone at a deeper level (myself included). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have volumes of self worth and I didn't need swinging to reinforce it, improve it or support it.
I like who I am, what I stand for, what I care about and most of all, my life.
I have made mistakes in life, I have learned from them, I am accountable for all aspects of it.
I love myself and I am proud that I do.
And what others think of me means very little to me.
Good luck with yours "
That's wonderful. Myself I'd need to see what's the full reasons I'm on this sure are taking into account my when life.
I do not rely on fab to have me self worth, I have a great sense of who I am. Love from the friend I've made and the things I do. I just dont see self worth as something 100% stable and motionless.
With each day its tested and moving like a wave. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm meaning to hight light the question for discussion for you all as individuals. I'd shared my thoughts as a jumping off, point being still quite younger. I find it interesting, it's not so much as discussion of me but if us in generally.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think looking to swinging to boost your self worth (if that's what you mean) is misguided.
Many of the interactions between people in this world are fleeting, sometimes shallow, and many aren't particularly looking to really get to know someone at a deeper level (myself included). "
Thank you. I agree with most of what your saying. I'm not here for love but pleasure. It's interesting shallow egos..
As I'm not trying to open a discussion on the subject of self worth and ego. Nit specific lying my own. You hit the nail close.. brilliant contribution |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You won't get deep chat on here, unless someone copy and pastes off psychology sites (which i personally welcome that).
Seeking validity and acceptance using your genitals won't work. Sexual attraction and desire turns others, and in turn yourself, you into an object. I agree with Kant on that.
So although you're ego becomes inflated, your self worth becomes less. You are not so much a human any more and neither are those you are seeking to interact with. You now are things to use.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You won't get deep chat on here, unless someone copy and pastes off psychology sites (which i personally welcome that).
Seeking validity and acceptance using your genitals won't work. Sexual attraction and desire turns others, and in turn yourself, you into an object. I agree with Kant on that.
So although you're ego becomes inflated, your self worth becomes less. You are not so much a human any more and neither are those you are seeking to interact with. You now are things to use.
"
I'd love to speak with you more on. That's a very real and provoking thought! I'm defiantly going to think on that. I'm a bit of a realist so see people  in there own right. Thank you.
I know it was a stretch asking this type of question as I'd only hopped to get people thinking. I think is been extremely positive. Considering the motives of this site user myself included. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You won't get deep chat on here, unless someone copy and pastes off psychology sites (which i personally welcome that).
Seeking validity and acceptance using your genitals won't work. Sexual attraction and desire turns others, and in turn yourself, you into an object. I agree with Kant on that.
So although you're ego becomes inflated, your self worth becomes less. You are not so much a human any more and neither are those you are seeking to interact with. You now are things to use.
I'd love to speak with you more on. That's a very real and provoking thought! I'm defiantly going to think on that. I'm a bit of a realist so see people in there own right. Thank you.
I know it was a stretch asking this type of question as I'd only hopped to get people thinking. I think is been extremely positive. Considering the motives of this site user myself included."
The people you'd be interacting with are up for being objectified to some degree also, so don't worry too much about your motives.
I think this place is very good for being able to satiate your desires and to explore sexually, but it is also somewhere used as an escape by most (hence the lack of deep thought here). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You wont get anything deep on these thread, try the politics forum ... "
Thank you very much for your suggestion. I think we are getting somewhere...
Great idea thank you both x |
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"You wont get anything deep on these thread, try the politics forum ...
Thank you very much for your suggestion. I think we are getting somewhere...
Great idea thank you both x"
Bad idea: the politics forum is full of demented eejits who care more about scoring points than reaching towards an objective truth. Very largely |
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"You won't get deep chat on here, unless someone copy and pastes off psychology sites (which i personally welcome that).
Seeking validity and acceptance using your genitals won't work. Sexual attraction and desire turns others, and in turn yourself, you into an object. I agree with Kant on that.
So although you're ego becomes inflated, your self worth becomes less. You are not so much a human any more and neither are those you are seeking to interact with. You now are things to use.
"
"People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used."
I've pretty much managed to avoid that as I've always set the bar pretty high, but another saying I like is 'Food for the ego is poison for the soul'.
Self-worth is not something you will develop on a site like this, it does not come from the flattery or lust of strangers, on the contrary, it can easily be eroded if someone is vulnerable or their foundations are not right.
A lot of people come here seeking attention for their ego, but it is pretty ephemeral in a place like this, and not something to build self-worth out of anyway, just an idle amusement. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You won't get deep chat on here, unless someone copy and pastes off psychology sites (which i personally welcome that).
Seeking validity and acceptance using your genitals won't work. Sexual attraction and desire turns others, and in turn yourself, you into an object. I agree with Kant on that.
So although you're ego becomes inflated, your self worth becomes less. You are not so much a human any more and neither are those you are seeking to interact with. You now are things to use.
"People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used."
I've pretty much managed to avoid that as I've always set the bar pretty high, but another saying I like is 'Food for the ego is poison for the soul'.
Self-worth is not something you will develop on a site like this, it does not come from the flattery or lust of strangers, on the contrary, it can easily be eroded if someone is vulnerable or their foundations are not right.
A lot of people come here seeking attention for their ego, but it is pretty ephemeral in a place like this, and not something to build self-worth out of anyway, just an idle amusement."
Thank you. It's refreshing to hear people speaking about such talked about things x |
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Most things aren't inherently good or bad for us but it depends upon our motivation and relationship with them. All of our behaviour is goal driven, often different to what it may first appear on the surface. Often what we're seeking is to reinforce our beliefs about ourselves and the world and to gain some emotional pay-off, as well as anything that we may physically obtain.
Self-worth and swinging. A lot of hedonistic fun and sex is going to be increasing our dopamine levels, allowing us to gain pleasure. Indirectly we may be looking to reinforce our sense of self-worth, feel wanted, intimacy with others or prove things that support our models of the world. Some beliefs may be about settling for less than the best, a self-limiting perspective that we perpectually recreate (this could be an example of how we may contain our self-worth, hacking away at our potential).
Where we're perhaps engaged in semi-addictive behaviour, the shorter terms payoffs from casual sex, these biochemical addiction cycles may become consolidated, such that we lose the sense of freedom of choice that we may have had - things could seem more driven and somewhat outside of our control. (This may help reinforce our sense of who we are, what we're worth and able to become in life. And we may cultivate a sense of loss, of other deeper intimacies that we perhaps we'd potentially prefer, if we were'nt single, for example).
So, it all depends upon us as individuals. We bring our own histories, personalities and life perspectivities along, as well as our motivations and pay-offs that we may get, in addition to satisfaction from swinging. There's no hard and fast answer - there's no real reason for swinging to be harmful/helpful to our self-worth but it doesn't mean that any one person wouldn't use it as such - I'm sure there are others who are similar to you op.
Perhaps the trick is for us to ask ourselves what do we need and why are we pursuing something? And if these things are ultimately aligned with our larger objectives for our lives, so that we don't potentially feel at odds with ourselves. |
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