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Alternative ways to drop the hint….
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….that you are not impressed with the couple/single you have just met.
Tie a 6 foot length of old floorboard across the roof of your car in preparation. The board should be tied in such a manner than it can be easily slid sideways to protrude 3-4 foot over the side of the car.
Upon leaving the pub/bar/McDonalds, as your meet asks “So is it back to yours for some fun?”, don your eye patch and plastic hook hand. Whilst adjusting the position of the timber, reply “Tiz ye plank for you. ya scurvy land luver”
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One of these envelops contains a ‘hot lovin’ voucher, the other two contain a ‘sorry no thanks’ message. You may notice there are only two envelops and I have ripped-up the ‘hot lovin’ voucher…. would you like to choose an envelop? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The simplest of methods work the best.
If you don't like someone then use:
"your sister was much more adventurous."
If you do like them then use:
"tell your sister not to bother on Friday."  |
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"'Accidentally' leave a fake GUM report on the seat when you go to the loo saying you have 3 different STD's and crabs.
You use the Intellectual method?
Nice One  "
Shite. I don't wan't that getting out though!! I have a reputation to keep down!  |
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Just in case they can't read, whilst in the toilets but a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk down the back of your pants. On retirn makle sure you mention the lack of toilet paper.
By the time you have finished your drink and are ready to leave the chocolate will have melted. Drop your keys and make sure your butt is right infront of their face as you bend over to pick up your keys. If you can manage a little bubbly fart through the brown matter, bonus! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just in case they can't read, whilst in the toilets but a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk down the back of your pants. On retirn makle sure you mention the lack of toilet paper.
By the time you have finished your drink and are ready to leave the chocolate will have melted. Drop your keys and make sure your butt is right infront of their face as you bend over to pick up your keys. If you can manage a little bubbly fart through the brown matter, bonus!"
Only someone who has done that could come up with that. Always knew you were a dirty little minx! |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Just in case they can't read, whilst in the toilets but a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk down the back of your pants. On retirn makle sure you mention the lack of toilet paper.
By the time you have finished your drink and are ready to leave the chocolate will have melted. Drop your keys and make sure your butt is right infront of their face as you bend over to pick up your keys. If you can manage a little bubbly fart through the brown matter, bonus!"
Disgusting but oh so funny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if in the middle of shagging and I want to change position, I text them...
they get off to answer the text.
RESULT.
Class!! need to put that one into practice tonight lol "
Yeah phones off now then lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
….that you are not impressed with the couple/single you have just met.
Tie a 6 foot length of old floorboard across the roof of your car in preparation. The board should be tied in such a manner than it can be easily slid sideways to protrude 3-4 foot over the side of the car.
Upon leaving the pub/bar/McDonalds, as your meet asks “So is it back to yours for some fun?”, don your eye patch and plastic hook hand. Whilst adjusting the position of the timber, reply “Tiz ye plank for you. ya scurvy land luver”
"
Soooooo fook off wont work then ?  |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"Fuck off and don't come back, you're a shit shag usually works
I'm sure it does work, but we were looking for 'alternative' ways of letting you down.... for a change "
piss aff moobag xxxx  |
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take half a dozen empty pill bottles, buy some smarties and put different colours into the seperate bottle, on meet take them out and innocently say "opps for to take my meds today" start shaking and make funny noises while taking the smarties |
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Blow your nose into a grotty looking hanky and then hold the hanky open in front of you looking at the contents. After a short pause say "oh my god, I am so sorry, where are my manners.... did you want first dibs?" and hold out the hanky towards them. |
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"Blow your nose into a grotty looking hanky and then hold the hanky open in front of you looking at the contents. After a short pause say "oh my god, I am so sorry, where are my manners.... did you want first dibs?" and hold out the hanky towards them."
yuk but funny |
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"Scratch your crotch constantly whilst looking at the female and repeating the phrase 'cor! You are nice'
then what you gonna do ? "
They usually make an excuse about the babysitter and go home then.
I mean, I've heard they do...  |
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Purchase two dozen specimen jars from your local pharmacy and one packet of wallpaper paste from a local DIY supplier.
Mix the wallpaper paste and add varying quantities to the each of the specimen jars.
Place the jars into a carrier bag and keep it under the table.
At the point where you have decided they are not for you, ask..."Are you a heavy cummer? I know not all men are."
Tip the contents of the carrier bag onto the table.
Begin to organise the specimen jars by standing them upright in straight lines whilst saying...
"Steve could really shoot a load.... Poor Mikey was a bit of a let down.... Harry wasn't too bad but very bitter tasting.... Oh Dave was a real mouthful and a fruit eater.... Gaz bless him, well he tried his best.... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Purchase two dozen specimen jars from your local pharmacy and one packet of wallpaper paste from a local DIY supplier.
Mix the wallpaper paste and add varying quantities to the each of the specimen jars.
Place the jars into a carrier bag and keep it under the table.
At the point where you have decided they are not for you, ask..."Are you a heavy cummer? I know not all men are."
Tip the contents of the carrier bag onto the table.
Begin to organise the specimen jars by standing them upright in straight lines whilst saying...
"Steve could really shoot a load.... Poor Mikey was a bit of a let down.... Harry wasn't too bad but very bitter tasting.... Oh Dave was a real mouthful and a fruit eater.... Gaz bless him, well he tried his best.... "
"
So you cum prepared then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or:
I collect female pubic hair so I can rebuild yout twat out of plaster when I get home. I'll need some before and after photos for reference and I'll need to give you a quick mohican when we've finished shagging. That ok with you? |
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"Say:
'righto, shall we get down to action then? I'll just give my mum a shout to come down, she should have the rubber suit on by now and be all oiled up...'"
Yeah sure, but can you make yourself scarce for a bit....I just want some one-on-one with your mum first. |
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"Say:
'righto, shall we get down to action then? I'll just give my mum a shout to come down, she should have the rubber suit on by now and be all oiled up...'
Yeah sure, but can you make yourself scarce for a bit....I just want some one-on-one with your mum first."
That's always the danger... they might be sicker than you!! |
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