FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > On a night out....
On a night out....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, guys, on a regular night out with your mates - and I'm talking a regular night out, not a swinger's club - are you more likely to hit on a woman who is dressed sexily, or a woman who is dressed nicely but more cute and less sexy?
And for the purposes of the question, assume all other things are equal in terms of how attractive the woman is. I'm just curious what guys go for on a regular night out, cute or sexy, or whether it makes no difference at all if you're attracted to the woman anyway.
Ladies, do you notice a difference on the attention you get depending on how you dress on a regular night out?
Thanks for your input!
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the last time I went on a normal night out, I was recognised by someone from here (he didn't make himself known at the time thank god, he messaged me on here later)...could have been tricky as I was out with my sister  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd hit on the pretty ones dressed to impress.
But I'm shallow like that
 "
But what if both are pretty and dressed to impress, but one is wearing a sexy, skin tight dress that is cut high on the leg and the other is wearing a cute flared dress that isn't showing much skin? Which would you approach if they were equally attractive? |
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Personally I would approach the Woman who is dressed nicely, I would just assume that if she was dresses sexy she would off already had loads of Men chatting her up, I've never been competitive when it comes to these type of situations, Like when you see a group of Men all competing for one or a couple of Women's attention, After saying hi/hello etc if she doesn't want to carry on a conversation I just walk away |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I would approach the Woman who is dressed nicely, I would just assume that if she was dresses sexy she would off already had loads of Men chatting her up, I've never been competitive when it comes to these type of situations, Like when you see a group of Men all competing for one or a couple of Women's attention, After saying hi/hello etc if she doesn't want to carry on a conversation I just walk away"
Interesting. I didn't think of it in terms of competition. Kind of paradoxical...that the one who is sexily dressed would be overlooked because of the presumption of attention. |
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"Personally I would approach the Woman who is dressed nicely, I would just assume that if she was dresses sexy she would off already had loads of Men chatting her up, I've never been competitive when it comes to these type of situations, Like when you see a group of Men all competing for one or a couple of Women's attention, After saying hi/hello etc if she doesn't want to carry on a conversation I just walk away
Interesting. I didn't think of it in terms of competition. Kind of paradoxical...that the one who is sexily dressed would be overlooked because of the presumption of attention. "
Ahh but that's just me,
I would also note that I have been single for a very long time |
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"I'd hit on the pretty ones dressed to impress.
But I'm shallow like that
But what if both are pretty and dressed to impress, but one is wearing a sexy, skin tight dress that is cut high on the leg and the other is wearing a cute flared dress that isn't showing much skin? Which would you approach if they were equally attractive?"
Hmmm... Tricky.
I'd probably hang about at the bar and see which one approached me first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going on past experiences guys are seem less likely to come over and talk when I've spent hours getting ready and wearing a good booby dress. But have more luck when im wearing just a nice dress or jeans and heels. Makes no sense  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to wear smarter/more slutty going out clothes than my friends (it's difficult to look good in casual clothes at a bigger size, I think) and they definitely get chatted up more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go for elegance.
In your face sexy, boardering slutty, is too much for me. Equally not sure cute would catch my eye.
That's why I tend to go for women older than I am. I think elegance is learned and comes with age. Not say younger women aren't elegant, it just improves as women age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone who's dressed with effort, but still looks comfortable, if that makes sense."
#Disclaimer: that's if I was going to chat someone up. I never have. But they're the ladies I'm drawn to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The different approaches are interesting. I would have thought sexy would have been the choice, but it seems that it may not be, for various reasons.
Maybe the different approaches would attract different types of people? I'm rarely chatted up, so I don't really have first hand experience.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like to get dressed up, I do that for me, not with the intention of being hit on.
I like hitting on them  "
It can work in that scenario, too. Do you find that what you wear changes people's reactions to you when you hit on them? Or does it not make a difference? |
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"I like to get dressed up, I do that for me, not with the intention of being hit on.
I like hitting on them
It can work in that scenario, too. Do you find that what you wear changes people's reactions to you when you hit on them? Or does it not make a difference?"
Sometimes I show some legs and boobs other times I dress 'cute' doesn't change the way I act which I like an absolute tool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a night out with friends I tend to be to involved in conversation/drinking/belly laughing. I'd like either of them to come over and say hi to me though  |
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"On a night out with friends I tend to be to involved in conversation/drinking/belly laughing. I'd like either of them to come over and say hi to me though "
Yeah he knows I am an absolute dick on a night out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did have a woman at a party unbutton my shirt to take a look at what make it was. It was a nice shirt and I was dressed up in a suit. But she didn't try to get my pants off so I wasn't being hit on |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I haven't noticed any major difference regardless. Sometimes I feel booby so I'll wear something cleavagey. If I go out out I might dress up to the nines (although rarely tight or short since I haven't got the figure for it). For decades I have lived in dresses since I feel comfy in them, with nicer ones for special occasions. When I was younger it might have been jeans and a decent top. In all that time I have never really been chatted up on a night out. Ever. |
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Such a simple question yet still to deep for me
Probable the mindset of the person doing the approaching, Confidence, His/her reason for doing so and maybe the even the location would make the difference from person to person |
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"Hitting on someone was never my style,,,,,,
I'm with Soxy on this one, its just not me and something I would not be comfortable with "
yes always struggled with it. I am much more comfortable with someone I am in some way introduced to already, rather than a complete stranger.
So for me online is perfect, gets you over that difficult "initiating" phase. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I haven't noticed any major difference regardless. Sometimes I feel booby so I'll wear something cleavagey. If I go out out I might dress up to the nines (although rarely tight or short since I haven't got the figure for it). For decades I have lived in dresses since I feel comfy in them, with nicer ones for special occasions. When I was younger it might have been jeans and a decent top. In all that time I have never really been chatted up on a night out. Ever."
See, I wonder if my focusing on what a woman is wearing is looking at the wrong thing. With this, and a few other comments from women on this thread, its clear that some women (myself included) don't really get hit on no matter what they wear. But other women do get hit on....so maybe its something in approachability/personality that is making the difference?
But its still hard to believe that how someone presents themselves in terms of what they wear makes such little difference....I dunno. |
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"snip
But its still hard to believe that how someone presents themselves in terms of what they wear makes such little difference....I dunno. "
When I notice ladies, it's something about them I notice. Whether that's a physical attribute or something about how they are behaving moving.
The clothes can sometimes enhance/help that initial "spot", but very rarely it's the clothes that catch the eye (unless it's something very spectacular). |
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"snip
But its still hard to believe that how someone presents themselves in terms of what they wear makes such little difference....I dunno.
When I notice ladies, it's something about them I notice. Whether that's a physical attribute or something about how they are behaving moving.
The clothes can sometimes enhance/help that initial "spot", but very rarely it's the clothes that catch the eye (unless it's something very spectacular)."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"snip
But its still hard to believe that how someone presents themselves in terms of what they wear makes such little difference....I dunno.
When I notice ladies, it's something about them I notice. Whether that's a physical attribute or something about how they are behaving moving.
The clothes can sometimes enhance/help that initial "spot", but very rarely it's the clothes that catch the eye (unless it's something very spectacular)."
Hmmmm  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wonder if it's to do more with the when & where as opposed to what I'm wearing.
I don't get chatted up a lot but when I do it's far more likely to be in work attire ( so smart casual dress / trousers ) in the pub after work between say 6-8pm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"snip
But its still hard to believe that how someone presents themselves in terms of what they wear makes such little difference....I dunno.
When I notice ladies, it's something about them I notice. Whether that's a physical attribute or something about how they are behaving moving.
The clothes can sometimes enhance/help that initial "spot", but very rarely it's the clothes that catch the eye (unless it's something very spectacular)."
Damn, I wanted to blame it on my clothes and not me being deeply off putting |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"snip
But its still hard to believe that how someone presents themselves in terms of what they wear makes such little difference....I dunno.
When I notice ladies, it's something about them I notice. Whether that's a physical attribute or something about how they are behaving moving.
The clothes can sometimes enhance/help that initial "spot", but very rarely it's the clothes that catch the eye (unless it's something very spectacular).
Damn, I wanted to blame it on my clothes and not me being deeply off putting "
In my case I'm pretty much resigned to the fact I must be off putting. Clothes make no difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"snip
But its still hard to believe that how someone presents themselves in terms of what they wear makes such little difference....I dunno.
When I notice ladies, it's something about them I notice. Whether that's a physical attribute or something about how they are behaving moving.
The clothes can sometimes enhance/help that initial "spot", but very rarely it's the clothes that catch the eye (unless it's something very spectacular).
Damn, I wanted to blame it on my clothes and not me being deeply off putting
In my case I'm pretty much resigned to the fact I must be off putting. Clothes make no difference."
Maybe men are intimidated by how beautiful you are. You are certainly not off putting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I go on a night out I don't dress to impress guys, I dress to (try) and look better than other women! They're the ones checking your outfit out in the toilets. The club I go to has this dress code policy "dress up, dress down, we don't care, just be there!" It's tickets only 300 capacity, cellar door in Cardiff, haven't been for ages though and to be honest everyone's too off there face to notice what you're wearing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Since I got older I rarely ( if ever! ) get chatted up.
I blame it on being heavier- but I had periods of time in my 20's and 30's where I was a bit chubby and got approached occasionally.
I think there's a lot to be said about how you feel about yourself and whathe sort of aura you give out!
I was happier then.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I like my clothes and choose what I wear to suit my mood, the occasion and the comfort level I need.
I don't get hit on when out with friends or at clubs if I'm on my own. If I go to a club with a male friend I will get hit on, via *his* permission being asked. It seems I appear more attractive if I have male in tow.
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i look for the whole package not necessarily what the person is wearing...i can go for cutesy floaty dress wearing girlies or skintight dress wearing vamps..it's how they come across, body language, how they are acting..their accents..attitude, looks the lot
last time i really went out and got hit on i was wearing a floral shirt nearly 3 sizes too big, jeans and an old waistcoat..oh and my tache was a waxed ..i was at a barn dance and got whisked off my feet by cute blonde..apparently because of the way i was making others laugh and that i had a smile on my face all night...so not always clothing that attracts |
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I don't think I've ever really hit on anyone in my entire life. How a woman is dressed doesn't overly make a difference though. It's much more to do with physical and facial attraction. The only thing that would put me off slightly would be if she looked too tarty or was wearing too much make-up. I'm not a huge fan of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, guys, on a regular night out with your mates - and I'm talking a regular night out, not a swinger's club - are you more likely to hit on a woman who is dressed sexily, or a woman who is dressed nicely but more cute and less sexy?
And for the purposes of the question, assume all other things are equal in terms of how attractive the woman is. I'm just curious what guys go for on a regular night out, cute or sexy, or whether it makes no difference at all if you're attracted to the woman anyway.
Ladies, do you notice a difference on the attention you get depending on how you dress on a regular night out?
Thanks for your input!
-Courtney"
For me dressed sexily depends more on the woman than what she's wearing.
I don't find women tottering about in heels they struggle to stand in sexy.
I'd fancy a sexy woman in jeans every time. Or a skirt. Or trousers. Or a dress. Or shorts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everything depends on how sexy we are talking, because my perception of sexy may not involve high heels or a cleavage, but if we are talking about those ones as attributs to sexiness in a night out then I'd definitely go for the cute one, casually dressed, for many reasons.
I tend to believe that clothes' choices, reflects the state of mind of a person, so if a woman is casually dressed on a night out, I would be intrigued by her, especially if all her friends as sexily dressed. She would look out of context and that what I would find attractive.
Keep in mind that I find sexiness in a blue jean, a white top with a pair of white Stan Smith.
I would wonder what kind of underwear she is wearing  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everything depends on how sexy we are talking, because my perception of sexy may not involve high heels or a cleavage, but if we are talking about those ones as attributs to sexiness in a night out then I'd definitely go for the cute one, casually dressed, for many reasons.
I tend to believe that clothes' choices, reflects the state of mind of a person, so if a woman is casually dressed on a night out, I would be intrigued by her, especially if all her friends as sexily dressed. She would look out of context and that what I would find attractive.
Keep in mind that I find sexiness in a blue jean, a white top with a pair of white Stan Smith.
I would wonder what kind of underwear she is wearing "
Oh, I like the idea of that last line |
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Both can be sexy in their own way, but I wouldn't go for the type that's all slutty/tarty or cheap look- not even really in a club 
