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Is it just me ladies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know this is not a dating site but I do expect that after exchanging messages for a while and arranging a meet with a guy that the messages/conversations continue up until the actual meeting and not to be ignored until the day before/day of to confirm, especially when hes online several times a day, do other ladies expect this or is it just me? I feel that if the guy can't be bothered to carry on talking to me, I can't be bother to meet the ignorant sod
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well perhaps he does have a few meets on the line up as it were...of course it pays to communicate with ur upcoming meet...especially to make sure things are on track. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some men like the thrill of the chase to see if they can charm a lady into a meet and once they have arranged a meet they bugger off as they have achieved what they set out to do.... "
personally, i want to shag them lol |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
To be very honest.. if I arrange a meet then that will probably be it.. till the meet. Maybe a few chats on the phone.
That maybe sounds harsh and make me seem rude, I am the reverse.
I don't MSN nor do I proactively message on here for conversational exchange. I met someone on here for coffee and we arranged to hook up for sex.. everytime I logged on I would get 'hi how are you', I would reply..'fine thanks, just in from work, hope you are well' and so it would go on, exchanging messages of 5 words or more... did my fecking head in.. until I told her. No meet thereafter....... 
we are all different xxx
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"To be very honest.. if I arrange a meet then that will probably be it.. till the meet. Maybe a few chats on the phone.
That maybe sounds harsh and make me seem rude, I am the reverse.
I don't MSN nor do I proactively message on here for conversational exchange. I met someone on here for coffee and we arranged to hook up for sex.. everytime I logged on I would get 'hi how are you', I would reply..'fine thanks, just in from work, hope you are well' and so it would go on, exchanging messages of 5 words or more... did my fecking head in.. until I told her. No meet thereafter.......
we are all different xxx
"
Oh reminds myself not to say Hi to _iew..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have had 2 guys recently who I have arranged meets with 1 contacted me the morning of the meet after not hearing from him for almost a week, asking for the details of how to get to mine, the other the day before just to confirm the meet was still on, both got a no and was told why, both where then really apologetic and came out with but I really want to meet you, it states on my profile that I like the chat to continue, I don't expect everyday but at least a couple of messages |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"To be very honest.. if I arrange a meet then that will probably be it.. till the meet. Maybe a few chats on the phone.
That maybe sounds harsh and make me seem rude, I am the reverse.
I don't MSN nor do I proactively message on here for conversational exchange. I met someone on here for coffee and we arranged to hook up for sex.. everytime I logged on I would get 'hi how are you', I would reply..'fine thanks, just in from work, hope you are well' and so it would go on, exchanging messages of 5 words or more... did my fecking head in.. until I told her. No meet thereafter.......
we are all different xxx
Oh reminds myself not to say Hi to _iew.. "
there are exceptions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this is not a dating site but I do expect that after exchanging messages for a while and arranging a meet with a guy that the messages/conversations continue up until the actual meeting and not to be ignored until the day before/day of to confirm, especially when hes online several times a day, do other ladies expect this or is it just me? I feel that if the guy can't be bothered to carry on talking to me, I can't be bother to meet the ignorant sod
"
Totally agree.
They think they just have to meet up and shag end of.
It sooooooooooo annoys me that ive actually got rid of and blocked guys who do it. If i aint good enough to chat to, you aint gonna shag. end of.#
I sooo hate being ignored.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this is not a dating site but I do expect that after exchanging messages for a while and arranging a meet with a guy that the messages/conversations continue up until the actual meeting and not to be ignored until the day before/day of to confirm, especially when hes online several times a day, do other ladies expect this or is it just me? I feel that if the guy can't be bothered to carry on talking to me, I can't be bother to meet the ignorant sod
Totally agree.
They think they just have to meet up and shag end of.
It sooooooooooo annoys me that ive actually got rid of and blocked guys who do it. If i aint good enough to chat to, you aint gonna shag. end of.#
I sooo hate being ignored. "
nods in agreement |
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To be fair a bit of banter pre-meet can go a long way in building the excitement, and also to gauge some personality. Naturally some people may find it difficult to be charming or at a loss for words to message often yet be chatty and a prince charming face to face. Also as someone above said its usefull to make sure things are on track however the 1liner messages can get tedious. A common saying here is 'each to there own' but don't always take it personally if they don't message often, but on the flipside be wary of a timewaster. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some men like the thrill of the chase to see if they can charm a lady into a meet and once they have arranged a meet they bugger off as they have achieved what they set out to do.... "
and woman do this also and throw in the 'sorry im to busy to meet' after they have been the one to make contact and keep you interested.
so both sexes do it and i agree it is bad and anyone i arrange to meet i always talk to so it builds things up nicely before the main event so to speak.
all the naughty texts and wind ups before a meet i love.builds the friendship and when you get to meet its always me who ends up with a slapped bum  |
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Bare in mind that the bloke concerned may only be online a few minutes or a couple of hours a day, maybe he's logging on with a phone and it's hard to chat and type messages. Maybe he's just not that communicative online, but better face to face. There could be a lot of reasons.
I, personally, like to chat and exchange a lot of messages and banter with prospective meets and will continue to do so after we have met, but I agree with View that sometimes conversations can get a bit much at times. For me my fairly insane and rambling messages and rare periods of lucidity mean my PM conversations tend to be fairly 'interesting' anyway! |
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"To be very honest.. if I arrange a meet then that will probably be it.. till the meet. Maybe a few chats on the phone.
That maybe sounds harsh and make me seem rude, I am the reverse.
I don't MSN nor do I proactively message on here for conversational exchange. I met someone on here for coffee and we arranged to hook up for sex.. everytime I logged on I would get 'hi how are you', I would reply..'fine thanks, just in from work, hope you are well' and so it would go on, exchanging messages of 5 words or more... did my fecking head in.. until I told her. No meet thereafter.......
we are all different xxx
Oh reminds myself not to say Hi to _iew.. "
...the bastards not PM'd me for weeks either!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bare in mind that the bloke concerned may only be online a few minutes or a couple of hours a day, maybe he's logging on with a phone and it's hard to chat and type messages. Maybe he's just not that communicative online, but better face to face. There could be a lot of reasons.
I, personally, like to chat and exchange a lot of messages and banter with prospective meets and will continue to do so after we have met, but I agree with View that sometimes conversations can get a bit much at times. For me my fairly insane and rambling messages and rare periods of lucidity mean my PM conversations tend to be fairly 'interesting' anyway! "
yes but for a 1st meet as a female i need to feel comfy and safe so the banter helps |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"To be very honest.. if I arrange a meet then that will probably be it.. till the meet. Maybe a few chats on the phone.
That maybe sounds harsh and make me seem rude, I am the reverse.
I don't MSN nor do I proactively message on here for conversational exchange. I met someone on here for coffee and we arranged to hook up for sex.. everytime I logged on I would get 'hi how are you', I would reply..'fine thanks, just in from work, hope you are well' and so it would go on, exchanging messages of 5 words or more... did my fecking head in.. until I told her. No meet thereafter.......
we are all different xxx
Oh reminds myself not to say Hi to _iew..
...the bastards not PM'd me for weeks either! "
Once I give a length dude... that's it.
I don't do needy str8 lads .... twice. |
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"Oh reminds myself not to say Hi to _iew..
...the bastards not PM'd me for weeks either!
He chats to me ALL the time Nurrrr 
you is special.."
Thanks for not putting the quotes around special mate, it means a lot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I arrange a meet then I don't want constant messages every time I'm online. I wouldn't be aware of whether they were online as I probably wouldn't look at the profile, only the day of the meet to remind myself what they look like. I don't want lots of conversation with guys, ill do that on the night.
If guys that we are meeting are on msn then they will talk to Chris and I like that, they ask him what I like sexually, what am I really like etc, a blokey exchange of words (no doubt dirty talk too of what there gonna do to me). I'm not here to strike up romantic chats with guys, so as long as Chris gets confirmation that all is planned with the meet then I'm ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I arrange a meet then I don't want constant messages every time I'm online. I wouldn't be aware of whether they were online as I probably wouldn't look at the profile, only the day of the meet to remind myself what they look like. I don't want lots of conversation with guys, ill do that on the night.
If guys that we are meeting are on msn then they will talk to Chris and I like that, they ask him what I like sexually, what am I really like etc, a blokey exchange of words (no doubt dirty talk too of what there gonna do to me). I'm not here to strike up romantic chats with guys, so as long as Chris gets confirmation that all is planned with the meet then I'm ok "
single women dont need constant conversation, but with none at all you could be meeting nutter. through some conversation you can get a feel for what there like |
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"I quite like the opposite. If we have arranged a meet I don't want mails every time we log on until it happens.
"
My feeling too,esp the guys who want details of what will happen at the meet,sets of my "just want a wank alert"
Why do u need to talk if the meet is happening?
Mind i speak as a couple single fems might want to get to know better for saftey reasons. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I quite like the opposite. If we have arranged a meet I don't want mails every time we log on until it happens.
My feeling too,esp the guys who want details of what will happen at the meet,sets of my "just want a wank alert"
Why do u need to talk if the meet is happening?
Mind i speak as a couple single fems might want to get to know better for saftey reasons."
agree..
the second they ask:
what will we do..
what will you wear..
DELETE.. |
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"I quite like the opposite. If we have arranged a meet I don't want mails every time we log on until it happens.
My feeling too,esp the guys who want details of what will happen at the meet,sets of my "just want a wank alert"
Why do u need to talk if the meet is happening?
Mind i speak as a couple single fems might want to get to know better for saftey reasons.
agree..
the second they ask:
what will we do..
what will you wear..
DELETE.. "
So _iew,what are you wearing ? |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I quite like the opposite. If we have arranged a meet I don't want mails every time we log on until it happens.
My feeling too,esp the guys who want details of what will happen at the meet,sets of my "just want a wank alert"
Why do u need to talk if the meet is happening?
Mind i speak as a couple single fems might want to get to know better for saftey reasons.
agree..
the second they ask:
what will we do..
what will you wear..
DELETE..
So _iew,what are you wearing ? "
speedos... I never wear anything else. |
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"I quite like the opposite. If we have arranged a meet I don't want mails every time we log on until it happens.
My feeling too,esp the guys who want details of what will happen at the meet,sets of my "just want a wank alert"
Why do u need to talk if the meet is happening?
Mind i speak as a couple single fems might want to get to know better for saftey reasons.
agree..
the second they ask:
what will we do..
what will you wear..
DELETE..
So _iew,what are you wearing ?
speedos... I never wear anything else. "
Wow your tesco's must be fun!  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I quite like the opposite. If we have arranged a meet I don't want mails every time we log on until it happens.
My feeling too,esp the guys who want details of what will happen at the meet,sets of my "just want a wank alert"
Why do u need to talk if the meet is happening?
Mind i speak as a couple single fems might want to get to know better for saftey reasons.
agree..
the second they ask:
what will we do..
what will you wear..
DELETE..
So _iew,what are you wearing ?
speedos... I never wear anything else.
Wow your tesco's must be fun! "
alas, sadly I am banned from there.
and a few more shops. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"If I arrange a meet then I don't want constant messages every time I'm online. I wouldn't be aware of whether they were online as I probably wouldn't look at the profile, only the day of the meet to remind myself what they look like. I don't want lots of conversation with guys, ill do that on the night.
If guys that we are meeting are on msn then they will talk to Chris and I like that, they ask him what I like sexually, what am I really like etc, a blokey exchange of words (no doubt dirty talk too of what there gonna do to me). I'm not here to strike up romantic chats with guys, so as long as Chris gets confirmation that all is planned with the meet then I'm ok
single women dont need constant conversation, but with none at all you could be meeting nutter. through some conversation you can get a feel for what there like "
I think for us once we have decided to meet someone you have decided they are not a nutter before saying yes.
We all have our own ways of doing things, I am the same as Iconic on this one, the only things I need to know is if we want to meet someone after chatting to them and not for it to carry on every day or even for weeks after.
When we first started this game we found men ( and I only say men because that is who we meet ) who liked to chat a lot seemed to want to do just that and we they never got round to arranging meets, in fact there is still one man on another site who is still saying after five years " we must arrange that meet" and then goes into cyber type chat on MSN. We have a game now to see how many times in a month he does it |
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"I quite like the opposite. If we have arranged a meet I don't want mails every time we log on until it happens.
My feeling too,esp the guys who want details of what will happen at the meet,sets of my "just want a wank alert"
Why do u need to talk if the meet is happening?
Mind i speak as a couple single fems might want to get to know better for saftey reasons.
agree..
the second they ask:
what will we do..
what will you wear..
DELETE..
So _iew,what are you wearing ?
speedos... I never wear anything else.
Wow your tesco's must be fun!
alas, sadly I am banned from there.
and a few more shops. "
i heard about you demanding the right to test all cucumbers were safe... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't send out facepics so once I decide to meet I expect a cam chat on MSN (no cam shows anymore though) to confirm genuinity and fanciableness. I don't need or want any further messages until the day to confirm they're going to show up, when they get the street name. If and when they call from the street they get the house number. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol, see I try not to arrange meets weeks in advance, If I fancy something I will meet with them, within a few days, so yes if the conversation dropped off totally, I would have to ask why.
The Making friends is always good, and it takes communication to do that
If someone I was interested in, lives a fair distance then I would keep some conversation on the go, until a suitable time to meet, however I see that as being friendly. (Not x amounts a day thou)
Actions speak louder than words at the end of the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would drive me bonkers - and has done until I've blocked them - if people kept messaging me the instant I logged on. It gives the impression they have you on their hotlist and check every minute - that kind of intensity I can do without.
The odd message, especially as I don't meet straight away is fine, but constant messaging...nah - I don't want to date them! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not saying daily constant messages but at least a couple between the date the meet is arranged and the actual meet, some are keen enough to message constantly over a space of a few days until you say yes but then not bother again until the date arrives |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some can talk themselves out of a meet though if they tend to waffle it bores me. Few emails move to chat and text fine with me. I always chat first to confirm meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this is not a dating site but I do expect that after exchanging messages for a while and arranging a meet with a guy that the messages/conversations continue up until the actual meeting and not to be ignored until the day before/day of...
"
I agree with you ... but then again, I only f*ck my friends, so anyone who wants me in bed has to get into my brain first. This means that a message every day or so, leading up to the meet, should be very easy and acceptable.
But no 'stalkers' please! |
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"Some men like the thrill of the chase to see if they can charm a lady into a meet and once they have arranged a meet they bugger off as they have achieved what they set out to do....
personally, i want to shag them lol"
what an old fashioned gent ha ha
Mistress x |
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Sometimes I think its too much. Some guys mail every time you are online and are just a little intense. I know we are all different but I do sometimes worry that they dont understand swinging. Agree though, like a sexy build up to meeting. Adds to the excitement. Difficult to please aint we? lol
Mistress x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
single women dont need constant conversation, but with none at all you could be meeting nutter. through some conversation you can get a feel for what there like "
I do have conversations with guys obviously, as how would we have got to the point of saying 'do you wanna meet'. So I would have got a good gist of whether they are a nutter or not. I dont just meet with any random guy that messages without any talking.
But I dont demand messages every day leading up to the meet. Once a date has been set then they can message and say hi if they want, but I dont expect it and wouldnt notice if they didnt. I dont check whether or not they are online.
I have never had a meet with a forum guy, that probably would be different. I do have banter with guys on here, and certainly wouldnt mind playing with them. I would already be indulging in banter so I dont suppose it would change if we decided to meet. But as for the guys Ive already met, none of them who use the forums, then I dont keep messaging them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer to be chatty with people we meet but also can see why others don't. It's personal choice but we won't meet people who just want the sex without the social side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this is not a dating site but I do expect that after exchanging messages for a while and arranging a meet with a guy that the messages/conversations continue up until the actual meeting and not to be ignored until the day before/day of to confirm, especially when hes online several times a day, do other ladies expect this or is it just me? I feel that if the guy can't be bothered to carry on talking to me, I can't be bother to meet the ignorant sod
Totally agree.
They think they just have to meet up and shag end of.
It sooooooooooo annoys me that ive actually got rid of and blocked guys who do it. If i aint good enough to chat to, you aint gonna shag. end of.#
I sooo hate being ignored. "
good on yer xx |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I know this is not a dating site but I do expect that after exchanging messages for a while and arranging a meet with a guy that the messages/conversations continue up until the actual meeting and not to be ignored until the day before/day of to confirm, especially when hes online several times a day, do other ladies expect this or is it just me? I feel that if the guy can't be bothered to carry on talking to me, I can't be bother to meet the ignorant sod
"
I'm totally with you there Simone - but then I think my profile also states exactly what I am looking for, the social side as much as anything.
I go to a hell of a lot of trouble when I meet someone and would never expect to be treated like a prostitute (which is basically what your scenario sounds like)
They soon get to know where they can go if they come across like that to me, I can tell you |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I know this is not a dating site but I do expect that after exchanging messages for a while and arranging a meet with a guy that the messages/conversations continue up until the actual meeting and not to be ignored until the day before/day of to confirm, especially when hes online several times a day, do other ladies expect this or is it just me? I feel that if the guy can't be bothered to carry on talking to me, I can't be bother to meet the ignorant sod
"
I quite agree with you - no, it is not a dating site and we should not expect the same things that we do if we were dating BUT.... a meeting for many of us is still about some kind of relationship, even if it is a one night stand. It can, of course, be about friendship for some, for others it is a one off... either way, it is nice to have some sort of rapport. |
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