FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Guys and rejection
Guys and rejection
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why can't some guys handle it and turn nasty?
ie:
Looking for a meet??
Thanks for your message but sorry you're not what I'm looking for. SJ
really??your after a meet??
unlike some, I meet guys I find an attraction to, not just evryone that asks
lets be honest love you shouldnt be picky,know what i mean??
and then block you, so you can't reply
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Why can't some guys handle it and turn nasty?
ie:
Looking for a meet??
Thanks for your message but sorry you're not what I'm looking for. SJ
really??your after a meet??
unlike some, I meet guys I find an attraction to, not just evryone that asks
lets be honest love you shouldnt be picky,know what i mean??
and then block you, so you can't reply
"
I know what you mean.... I think that because they think you are after a meet, it means you are going to meet just anyone.....
saying that.. i had had some abuse when i have said no to meets there and then.. i mean.. 11.30pm on a thursday night when i am about to go to bed....
its not just single guys who take offence...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't some guys handle it and turn nasty?
ie:
Looking for a meet??
Thanks for your message but sorry you're not what I'm looking for. SJ
really??your after a meet??
unlike some, I meet guys I find an attraction to, not just evryone that asks
lets be honest love you shouldnt be picky,know what i mean??
and then block you, so you can't reply
I know what you mean.... I think that because they think you are after a meet, it means you are going to meet just anyone.....
saying that.. i had had some abuse when i have said no to meets there and then.. i mean.. 11.30pm on a thursday night when i am about to go to bed....
its not just single guys who take offence... "
I'll second that Fabio  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some guys presume that just because a single lady is looking to meet a man she is either desperate or will fuck anyone and so they have no concept of the need for attraction
So when they get a "no" however polite it is they get arsey
Just ignore them and find someone you want to have fun with - after all good fun invloves mutual pleasure
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes have had a few like that myself lately, usually saying go take a look in the mirror lol
and what do you know, they don't have any pics on show themsleves
the latest one was from a guy who wanted me to meet him and his nephew, my reply was thats sick. |
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theres people guilty of the behaviour across the board ,not just guys guilty of it . some cpls and some single fems just as guilty wanting a meet right off and not taking being told no well!
now if people want to meet straight off then thats fine aslong as the other person is happy with the same . all about respecting others bounderiees . i personally perfer to get to know a person and suss them out alil before discussing a meet .i certainly dont think my way is the right way ,its just purely my prefence and what im comfortable with .
as for the throwing hissy fits and toys outta prams when being told no ...... there is no excuse for that !just shows a total lack of respect and though for the other person and the immaturity and selfishness that person has. having displayed that ungly trait it would just comfirm i had been spot on with my call not to meet them so saves any further time and effort talking to them . so just report any abuse,block em and dont wastea single moment of thought on em x |
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It isn't just single guys though! We are dead polite usually when we don't fancy meeting someone, most are fine but you get the odd one saying 'why don't you want to meet us?' and really push you into a corner in a very aggressive manner - always proves that we were ringt in the first place not to want to meet! Some people will obviously screw a cracked plate but we need to feel attraction too!Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does come from all areas, I have little patience now when someone starts to push me, be it males, females or couples.
I must be older and wiser as now I have no problems hitting the block or delete button where as before, I would have had been feeling guilty for doing it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some guys presume that just because a single lady is looking to meet a man she is either desperate or will fuck anyone and so they have no concept of the need for attraction
So when they get a "no" however polite it is they get arsey
Just ignore them and find someone you want to have fun with - after all good fun invloves mutual pleasure
"
Totally agree with what you said! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know I am no oil painting, overweight and more mature but it annoys me when a guy thinks that I must be desperate because of it, the guy in question wasn't that bad looking but it was how his profile read, the way I am now looking at it is, that the guy must have been desperate to contact me if that is how he felt about me, so I was right to reject lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been very lucky so far in that way. We have told many couples and singles that they are not what we are looking for and we have either not heard anything back or had messages of "thanks for letting us know." we have had the same said to us too. It is a shame that a minority can spoil things a little but I suppose that's where the block button comes in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Slightly off tangent...
Whilst there's no excuse for rudeness some people leave themselves open to it!
If you have a preference on your profile and someone contacts outside what you're looking for why respond?
My profile was designed to dissuade all but the brave, and I stated I wouldn't reply if not what I was looking for.
No abuse or nasty messages as I deleted without reading those that didn't meet what I was looking for!
Worked for me. |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
we have just had to get really nasty with a guy, sent him a very polite No thanks but wished him luck in finding what he wanted and within 2 minutes had two messages asking why becasue HE considered he was a very attractive guy etc etc, a second no tanks just got us more why why why???? Rejection is never nice but folks should remember No means No it doesn't have to be explained. Btw the last message did give him the feed back he wasn't wanting and a quick trip to the blocked bin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was once on the end of some nasty staff after I asked the women I was on my way to meet if I needed to bring condoms! Told me she wasnt a whore so was very safe!
My lucky escape me thinks lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Unless it is a rude or abusive message, I reply to all, whether they match my preferences or not, I was brought up with good manners which as we all know cost nothing, maybe that's where I have been going wrong on this site as it seems a large majority have none, food for thought |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Unless it is a rude or abusive message, I reply to all, whether they match my preferences or not, I was brought up with good manners which as we all know cost nothing, maybe that's where I have been going wrong on this site as it seems a large majority have none, food for thought"
From my point of view, manners cost nothing, but that action does seem lost on a lot of people. I always respond to every approach in a polite manner, but have sometimes had a very negative, almost hostile response.
Equally, when I've replied to people's ads', and been careful to ensure I match their Profile and requirements, when I do get that rare reply, I do acknowledge its receipt and say "Thank You" adding I won't bother them again!
On one occasion, the couple was so taken aback at my courtesy, they started to chat in return; we did eventually meet up, so courtesy can count! |
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Some people have manners some people don't. There are a lot more single men on here than anything else and they have to do most of the chasing therefore probability says that most of the ignorance and arseyness will come from them. But it isn't exclusive I have had rude and ignorant replies to perfectly well written and polite introductory messages. Unfortunately for us all ignorance and general rudeness seems to be more and more prevalent these days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think i helps to have a thick skin on a swinging site. Men don't like rejection, we don't like being pressurised and men who don't understand the word no. Everyone gets heated at times. I just say thanks and delete but even that causes problems. I try and smile and just ignore the nasty messages my self. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive had abuse of one or two guys, i dont understand it  "
Its odd and often when you send a polite no thanks. I just put it down to frustration with some of them. |
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Could I refer the OP to the numbers game thread.
Aside from that, generally, woman are far worse at handling rejection than guys. Just think of how many knockbacks guys get on here every day... or minute even. If roles were reversed and woman had to make the first move (and guys could decided to be just as picky).... there would be a lot of very scared rabbits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could I refer the OP to the numbers game thread.
Aside from that, generally, woman are far worse at handling rejection than guys. Just think of how many knockbacks guys get on here every day... or minute even. If roles were reversed and woman had to make the first move (and guys could decided to be just as picky).... there would be a lot of very scared rabbits."
Totally agree I would find it hard to deal with that rejection over and over but to be honest I still wouldnt be nasty about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't some guys handle it and turn nasty?
ie:
Looking for a meet??
Thanks for your message but sorry you're not what I'm looking for. SJ
really??your after a meet??
unlike some, I meet guys I find an attraction to, not just evryone that asks
lets be honest love you shouldnt be picky,know what i mean??
and then block you, so you can't reply
"
You will always get them, your on a swingers site so surely you wanna meet and have sex straight away...dont you ??? 
Or those with no humour at all and take it all so bloody seriously.
Make my blood boil they do  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The ones that amaze me (why after all this time on here I don't know why I am amazed at anything) are the ones that are all over you saying how beautiful/attractive you are and they can't wait to meet you as you are going to get on so well together...and have virtually got your life planned out....and then they are the ones that,when I reply with a polite "thanks but no thanks" then come back with "didn't want to f**k you anyway/not that desperate I would f**k you as you are too old/overweight/far away"
talk about toys and prams... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The ones that amaze me (why after all this time on here I don't know why I am amazed at anything) are the ones that are all over you saying how beautiful/attractive you are and they can't wait to meet you as you are going to get on so well together...and have virtually got your life planned out....and then they are the ones that,when I reply with a polite "thanks but no thanks" then come back with "didn't want to f**k you anyway/not that desperate I would f**k you as you are too old/overweight/far away"
talk about toys and prams... "
reverse psychology lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless it is a rude or abusive message, I reply to all, whether they match my preferences or not, I was brought up with good manners which as we all know cost nothing, maybe that's where I have been going wrong on this site as it seems a large majority have none, food for thought"
Good for you! I think it rude if I have on my profile I'm only interested in single, local, straight, sub men over 45 and won't reply if outside that to be contacted by married, 25 year old bi, Dom men from Scotland.
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"Unless it is a rude or abusive message, I reply to all, whether they match my preferences or not, I was brought up with good manners which as we all know cost nothing, maybe that's where I have been going wrong on this site as it seems a large majority have none, food for thought"
'In your opinion' …. you attribute your attention to replying to your 'good manners'.
However, I find it incredibly rude to insinuate people who do not wish to follow your example may not have been raised so well. A snack for your lunchbox.
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I can honestly I have not had many rude emails and I think rudeness after rejection is directly proportionate to insecurity. A reasonably grounded and confident person takes rejection from one person as just what it is; one person is not keen on meeting them. No more, no less. They move one without the need to waste energy on rude posts or pointless hitbacks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A simple solution to prevent abusive emails is to not answer messages from people who don't appeal to you. That's how we do things and we've never had an abusive retort yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A simple solution to prevent abusive emails is to not answer messages from people who don't appeal to you. That's how we do things and we've never had an abusive retort yet."
That was my point, but that's a rude approach apparently! 
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we used to answer the majority of emails and still give a response if the other people have taken time to read the profile and made an effort.
but 4 word emails from anyone with nowt on their profiles etc we delete, end of. |
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